Hello. Wow, this has been a busy month for wrestling news. We just got this in. It comes from the head-honcho of the NWWA - the owner (and jackass) Negronomicon.
From the Desk of NWWA Chief of Operations Negronomicon
To the wrestlers, employees and fans of the NWWA, the worlds finest wrestling organization.It has come to my attention that there are a number of people both inside and outside the NWWA that are unhappy with certain aspects of how I choose to run my (and I stress this) MY business. I am far too busy trying to keep this company afloat to have to deal with this nonsense, but I will acquiesce and deal witth this as such:
1. The new championship belts were redesigned at GREAT expense. The paper that is used in the process are made from the finest Brazilian mahogany and are hand crafted in Germany. Anyone saying anything negative about them will be fired.
2. Yes, that wrestler What's-his-name was fired for having a stupid hair cut. I will not tolerate stupid haircuts in my organization. If you can't get something as simple as good grooming habits together, how can you expect to be as good as wrestler as myself? Anyone with bad grooming habits will be fired.
3. Matches that are not wrestled to the caliber I expect from those under my employee will be immediately re-wrestled. If they are still not up to snuff, then both wrestlers will be fired.
4. I understand times are tough, but there is no "I" in team! So, effective immediately, I will be asking certain under-performing wrestlers to start helping in selling tickets to our shows. You will be assigned a quota that needs to be hit in order to stay with the team. Get the fans to the show. Do whatever is necessary to accomplish this. We need to get the butts in the seats! Anyone who cannot perform will be fired.
5. Lastly, the fans. I am hard on the wrestlers because they need to be pushed to perform on a high level every night. But your house needs to be put in order too. Your incessant booing and catcalling to me and my organization has not gone without notice and will not be tolerated. So, from here on out, any fan that I deem acting foolish will be removed from the arena and banned from any and all future shows.
That is all...now if you will excuse me, I have actual work to do.-N
Well, I can only assume the NWWA lockerroom will be in an uproar over this. As soon as we get feedback from the wrestlers, we will get their comments posted here.
Awesome. Way to go N.
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