HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 - 12.12

Hello fans and welcome back to our final newsletter for 2014.  Today’s show comes to you live in front of a Glasgow, Scotland crowd (editor’s note: we mistakenly said that Glasgow was in England when it fact, it is Scotland.  Sorry for the error.)  This crowd is just as energetic as the London crowd was.  The show is kicked off with co-GM Hulk Hogan making his way out.  Hogan thanks the crowd for attending.  He says he’s a little sad that he is not running the full show but says that now he will be able to put all his attention into the CSWA and make that the #1 Brand in the World…Brother.

The show kicks off with Super Warrior and Warrior of Truth (Wyatt’s Warriors) making their way out to the ring.  Out comes #ConanJones.  He says that his new partner is this guy…and out comes Casey Jones.  # says that they are “bruthas from different muthas” to which Casey replies “We’re not Brothers!!!!”  The Jones Boys took the fight to Wyatt’s Warriors and in just 8 minutes, Casey nails R-Truth with a chair shot and gets the win.  #ConanJones finally has gotten himself another win. 

Next, the NEW TAG TEAM Champions Donnie B & MW3 come out.  They are happy that their belts are back where they belong but know that there are lots of teams out there who are going to be gunning for them.  MW3 says he is looking forward to a match against the Miz-fits.  Donnie B says that he expects the Jones Boys to be coming after them too.  They welcome any and all comers and will not back down from any challenge.

The Bulgarian Bully Alexander Rusev makes his way out.  He says that President Putin has expressed his disappointment that the World title wasn’t brought to the Motherland.  Rusev goes on complaining until over the loud speakers blares “WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!”  Chris Jericho makes his way down.  Jericho gets in the ring and begins a verbal assault on Rusev talking about his “shortcomings”.  Rusev takes offense and attacks Jericho.  Hulk Hogan comes out and breaks it up.  Hogan says that these two will have a match in the main event.  Rusev ends up leaving.

We head back to the ring for action.  El Chango is taking on Robbie E.  Robbie E is accompanied to the ring by his partner Rob Terry.  El Chango took out his frustrations from his past losses out on the hide of Robbie E.  El Chango looked like a man determined and owned this match.  The end came at the 22 minute mark when El Chango nailed a shooting star press from the top rope and scored the win.  Rob Terry jumped in the ring and both men began to beat down El Chango.  Music hits (old west music – like the kind you would hear in a deserted old west town) and out comes The Stache.  He hits the ring and clears Robbie and Rob from the ring.  Terry and E are not happy and try to get back in the ring but Stache won’t allow it.  Robbie E and Rob Terry leave and then we have a showdown in the ring.  The Stache and El Chango are staring at each other.  After a minute of glaring at each other, they shake hands.  The Stache raises the hand of El Chango and then they leave the ring.

We cut to the back where the Caped Crusader is being interviewed.  CC says that a major wrong has been righted when Donnie B and MW3 regained their tag team titles.  CC says that he stands for Truth and Justice and will be there to make sure the playing field will always be even.

Next in action is the team of Kenta and Sanada.  They are here to take on any team wanting to see action.  Music hits and out walks the Miz-fits.  There are a lot of Miz-fit fans in attendance (very surprising).  Kenta and Sanada brought their A-Game and took the Miz-fits to school however, the quick tags from the Miz-fits kept any pin or submission attempt out of reach.  After what turned into a fist fight, the bell rings signaling the end of the match via time limit draw.  I’m sure these two teams have unsettled business so I expect them to meet in the future.

Prestige Inc. members King Damian Sandow, Magnus and ‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild along with Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel all came out and wished the fans in attendance a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  Raquel said that 2015 will be the year of the Diva’s and she expects to represent as the Diva’s Champion for as long as she can.  Reid, dressed as Santa Claus said that 2014 was a good year for him and he expect 2015 to be better.  King Damian and Magnus say that 2015 will bring great things for Prestige Inc. and the fans will get to come along for the ride.  They shake hands with fans at ringside and depart.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, out comes Madison Rayne.  Her opponent tonight is Fusion Valentine.  Fusion is accompanied to the ring by the Southern Belle.  Before the match could even begin, Madison began talking smack to the Southern Belle.  Belle, normally sweet, started to lose her temper.  At one point, Madison bitch-slapped Belle.  Fusion then took advantage of the situation and threw Madison out of the ring.  She then distracted the ref and Belle went to town on Madison laying her out with the ‘Kiss My Grits’.  Madison ends up getting counted out and Fusion Valentine wins the match via CO.  She then got out of the ring and took Belle by the arm to get her out of that situation.  There was mixed reaction from the crowd as we thought they were ‘good guys’.

Sting then makes his way to the ring.  He says he beat Randy Orton to get a shot at Bray Wyatt’s HWF World title.  Sting says it’s been a while since he held the title and will be nice to win it again before he retires for good.  He is then interrupted by Brock Lesnar who storms down to the ring.  Brock says that he sent Cena off to an early grave and now HE is the #1 contender for the title.  This brings out HWF GM Master Bull.  Bull says that both men are in line for a title shot.  Sting asks who gets the next shot.  Bull says that Brock and Sting will face off in a best of 7 match and the winner will be next in line.  Brock then attacks Sting and drops him with the F-5.  Brock says that he destroyed John Cena and he will put Sting out to pasture once and for all.  Brock then stormed out of the ring.  He brushed past Master Bull who, I think, performed an over the top visual GULP.  I wonder if Bull is just a little intimidated by the Beast Incarnate….

We cut to the back where we see the one and only Rowdy Roddy Piper.  Piper says he loves being home here, in Glasgow, Scotland and tonight, in the Main event, he will referee and as he’s always done it, he will call it right down the middle.  He then winks at the camera.

We go back to the ring for another tag team match.  Prince Devitt & Sami Zayn vs Xavier Woods & Tyson Kidd.  Zayn and Devitt double teamed for 3 solid minutes not giving Woods or Kidd an opportunity to mount any offense.  AT the 4 minute mark, from the outside of the ring, Kidd hits Zayn with an uppercut and Woods nails a CreeDDT and gets the 1-2-3.  This had to be the biggest upset of the night.  Kidd and Woods took off and laughed at their opponents standing in the ring.

It is now time for our main event.  Special Guest Referee Rowdy Roddy Piper comes out first.  He is the followed by the Ayatollah of Rock N Rollah Chris Jericho.  Alexander Rusev comes out last with a microphone.  He tells Jericho that if Jericho really thinks he’s all that, he should put up his CSWA title shot on the line here.  Jericho agrees.  Rusev starts off by trying to throw Chris out of the ring but he reverses it and nails some vicious chops to the chest.  Rusev hits a massive bodyblock that Chris bounces off of.  Rusev turns and gloats to the crowd but Chris hits him from behind and locks him in the Walls of Jericho.  Trapped in the middle of the ring with nowhere to go, he taps out.  Chris gets the win in just under 3 minutes.  Hulk Hogan comes out and says that this main event was kind of a letdown.  He says to restart the match and make it a best of 3 falls match.  Jericho goes right back after Rusev keeping him on the defensive for 10 minutes.  Chris had Rusev in the corner and just kept laying the chops to chest on Rusev over and over.  Finally, he relented and Rusev collapses in the ring.  Jericho makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 once again.  Chris Jericho gets the win.  Rusev leaves with his head hanging low while Chris celebrated in the ring.

That is the final card for the 2014 year.  Thanks for sticking with us and be sure to join us in 2015 when things get all kinds of interesting.  Merry Christmas to one and all and we at the HWF and CSWA newsletter wish you a safe and Happy New Year.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 - 12.11 – Notes from Starcade fallout

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Starcarde was a huge success which saw may feuds come to an end – most notably El Chango and Senor Vampiro.  Vampiro exacted his revenge from his former partner but what was interesting was who came to El Chango’s aid…it was the Stache.  We will be very interested to see what comes from that.

Also, when Sting defeated Randy Orton, he gained a shot at the HWF World title but so did another man…Brock Lesnar.  We wait with abated breath to see who gets what first.

In related news to Brock Lesnar, John Cena was hospitalized after his fight (it was not a wrestling match for sure) and as of this writing, John is out of ICU but has been moved to a regular room now.  We all wish him a speedy recovery.

Only a few performers were staying behind for our show in Glasgow, England; the home of one Rowdy Roddy Piper.  Who knows, maybe the rowdy one will make an appearance.

We’ve gotten word that Southern Belle’s first match will be against Madison Rayne.  We wish her best of luck.

There have also been some roster changes.  Rocky Lapetus who was Hogan’s right hand man towards the end, resigns his post, retires from the sport and decides to move to Scotland.  We wish him all the best in his future endeavors. 

After his feud with ‘the Elitist’ Reid Rothchild, Professor Cobra quits and decides he likes it in England so he’s going to remain here and go back to school.  We wish him all the best in his future endeavors.

Proir to leaving his post, Rocky Lapetus made sure that the visa’s for the following people expired and now are stuck in England until that all can be sorted out.  Those people include the Axe, Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon, Cactus Jackie and Spider Violet (Fusion Valentine paid Rocky off on these last two).  They will all be allowed back to the HWF and CSWA once the visa issue is rectified.  We understand it could take up to 3 months.

Angelina Love has said that she will be going after AJ Lee’s Women’s title.

After Kurt Angle won the Undisputed Heavyweight title from Bray Wyatt, he was asked what he was going to do next.  “I’m going to Disneyworld.  It’s True, it’s DAMN true.”

Master Bull had quite a few meetings set up before leaving.  One was with RVD – Rob Van Dam.  They supposedly talked about when/if Rob would be returning to the squared circle.  Talks seem to be going well but as of this writing, nothing has been solidified.

Master Bull also met with Hulk Hogan.  Bull wanted to fire Hogan on the spot but owners Donnie B and Jeff Meyers intervened on Hogan’s behalf.  They said Hogan didn’t do a bad job while in office even if Bull thinks differently.  An agreement was made that Master Bull would be the ‘end all; be all GM’ (one step below the owners) but Hogan would work for him – as a co-GM.  Bull said he would take on the HWF and would let Hogan stay in charge of the CSWA…for now.  Bull says that as far as he’s concerned, Hogan will always be on probation and he shouldn’t give Bull any reason to fire him.  The owners intervened one last time and said that since both GM’s will be managing their own brand, it still comes down to ‘putting asses in seats’.  If the owners feel one of the GM’s isn’t doing everything he should be to get ‘asses every 18 inches’, then the owners may have to step in and do something about that.  Both men agree to the stipulation and to make things more fair, there will be a draft come January.  All 4 men shook hands in agreement.

It turns out that there is a new tag team on the scene.  It will be Casey Jones teaming up with #ConanJones.  # refers to them at ‘brothas from different muthas”.  They will be going after Adrian Neville and Adam Rose first.

Our last bit of information is tied to all of the ‘fired’ individuals – Malo Leche de Mantequilla aka the Negronomicon got himself a charted plane to the Bahamas and was looking for people to go with him to start up a new wrestling organization.  He convinced (coerced?) the following people to go with him – the phony Phlyers, Droopy Balls McShonnessay and Psycho Jack Hercules.  The plane ends up being a cargo plane and his new friends/employees weren’t all that thrilled with him but he promised big money so they stuck with him.  On route to their destination, the plane went off course and hit the Bermuda triangle.  The plane disappeared.  I guess we’ll never know what happened to them.

 

25 years later

…we see the Negronomicon sitting on the beach.   Next to him are some coconuts with name tags that read “Phony #1”, “Phony #2”, “DBM” and “Psycho” (which looked a bit crazy for a coconut).  Negronomicon is talking to them like they are real.  He then turns and asks “What do you think, Spaulding?” and he is looking at a basketball. 

             

The final show of the year will be coming up really soon so stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.10 – Starcade day 3

Hello fans and welcome to Day 3 of STARCADE. We have had two fantastic days of action and tonight promises to be no different.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out to address the crowd.  “The Hulkster is in the house, brother.  The HWF is in the house, brother.  The CSWA is in the house brother.  I said early on that everyone was putting in 150% to give you a show that you’ll never forget.  Tonight is the final night of our PPV and we have 2 shows we have to go up against.  I can promise you that by the end of the night, you the fans will NEVER and I mean EEEEEEEver (he stole that from Chris Jericho) forget who the HWF or CSWA are.   Now, on to a very important matter. The GM duties are on the line tonight.  Master Bull is stepping back in the ring against a member of my CWO – Psycho Jack Hercules.  Jack will secure my role with a win and I’ll be here for as long as I want.  As GM, my word is law.  I, er, I mean, my team will defeat Master Bull and send him packing.  However, if I wanted to keep him around, I can always use a Gopher (go for this, go for that).  Master Bull, you had better be ready as I’m not leaving without a fight.” 

“Speaking of fights, that main event last night between Brock Lesnar and John Cena really tore the house down.  There were lots of great matches yesterday and tonight will be no different.  It is time to get this party started.”  Pyro goes off and tonight’s show is off and running.

The first match of the night starts off with Bram and MVP heading to the ring for tag team action.  Their opponents follow and it’s the Miz-fits:  The Fiend and the Miz.  MVP and Bram attack them before the bell but they are disposed of from the ring as the fans cheer along.  Finally, MVP and Bram get back in the ring and the 4 go at it.  Miz backed up his partner 100%.  They operated like a well-oiled machine.   One would have thought that Miz would not be happy playing second fiddle but he was the perfect partner to the Fiend.  After 22 minutes of controlling the action, Miz nails the Skull Crushing Finale on Bram and he falls out of the ring.  The Fiend nails MVP with the Last Caress (swinging DDT) and pinned him in the middle of the ring.  Miz joined his partner and they celebrated much to the delight of the fans.

We cut to the back where Master Bull is being interviewed.  Bull says that Hogan is full of crap and hasn’t done anything for HWF and CSWA.  Bull says he will defeat Psycho Jack Hercules and will once again become the GM for both the HWF and CSWA.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  The challenger Spider Violet makes her way out.  She is then followed by the Women’s Champion AJ Lee.  Spider stared right off and owned the champ for the first 16 minutes of the match.  Then, Fusion Valentine came out to sit at ringside.  Spider yelled at her to leave but it didn’t do any good.  The Women’s champion then took the match to the distracted Spider and AJ turned up the heat.  The match went for another 13 minutes and was controlled by the champ.  AJ ends up stunning Spider with the Black Widow and then nails a sit out cross arm slam and a cover for the 1-2-3.  AJ retains her title in 29 minutes. 

Wade Barrett is being interviewed and says that he has bad news for Sheamus.  The Hardcore title is changing hands tonight and there is nothing Sheamus can do about it.

We head back to the ring where the Band Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon and the Axe (without Psycho Jack or Rocky Lapetus) make their way to the ring.  Both men actually threaten to hit the fans as they walked down to the ring.  New music hits and out comes Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley.  Reigns and Lashely beat the holy hell out of the Band.  After 22 ½ minutes of getting their asses beat, Medley grabs a chair and throws it to Reigns who gets caught with it  The ref immediately disqualified Reigns and Lashley much to the dismay of the fans.  Dirk and Axe left laughing until the Caped Crusader appears in the ring. He explained what happened to the ref and the ref offers to reverse the decision or restart the match.  Reigns opts to have the match restarted.   The match continues and after getting beat down again, Dirk pulls out some brass knuckles and hits Lashley with them causing the DQ.  Reigns and Lashley win this via disqualification.  Reigns nails a spear on Axe and Bobby hits Dirk with the Dominator. Reigns and Lashley leave to the cheers from the fans.

Kurt Angle says he is looking forward to the Undisputed title match against Bray Wyatt.   Two nights ago, he defeated the Bulgarian Bully and sent him packing.  Tonight, he’ll send Bray back to the deep woods where he was hatched from and will walk out with the Undisputed Heavyweight championship.

The next title match is up with Hardcore Champion Sheamus vs Wade Barrett.  The rules on this one were an Irish Death match.  Sheamus beat Barrett all over the ring.  Wade had trouble getting any offense in play.  Wade hits Sheamus with the ringside bell and Sheamus blasted Wade with a 2x4.  Sheamus then locked Wade in the Irish Cloverleaf and in the middle of the ring, Wade Barrett, bloodied, taps out.  Sheamus retains his title in a 4 minute match.

The Original Big Daddy Donnie B and MW3 are being interviewed. They say that justice will be served tonight when they regain the World Tag Team Titles.  MW3 says that Malo Leche and the Phoney Phlyers will pay the ultimate price tonight.

In another part of the backstage area, Malo and the Phoney Phlyers are being interviewed also.  Malo says that once they win their match tonight, they will prove themselves to be the REAL Mexicali Flyers.  Malo promises that they will be victorious at any cost tonight.

“Voodoo Child” blares over the loudspeakers and GM Hulk Hogan comes out followed by Psycho Jack Hercules.   Master Bull then comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  The fans here in London seem torn on who they want to win.  When polled earlier in the week, the fans were about equally divided.  Some fans like what Hogan’s done but others think the Hulkster has too much power.  Master Bull did say that after he wins, he said he’d keep Hogan on the payroll in some way, shape or form.  The two were battling like there was no tomorrow.  Hogan would shout out words of encouragement to Psycho Jack and he would be filled with intestinal fortitude but it wasn’t enough to get him a three count.  Master Bull, on a few occasions, came close to losing but as he watched Hogan on the outside, it gave him what he needed to continue.  Bull began turning up the heat and Hogan got really worried.   Master Bull nailed a few powerslams and (they are in boot camp rules), hit Psycho Jack with a fire extinguisher.  Hogan began yelling at Jack which did him no favors.  Bull began to ‘hulk up’ and Hogan freaked.  A leg drop from Bull almost brought this one to an end.  Hogan, spazing out and feigning a heart attack (pretend, of course), FIRES Jack.  Jack, confused, turns into an Ambush by Guerrilla Attack.  Bull makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Master Bull has just regained GM managerial rights for both the CSWA and HWF.  Hogan was on the outside of the ring shouting “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (brother)”.  Master Bull gets on the mic and immediately fires Psycho Jack Hercules.  He says he will decide by year end what Hogan’s fate will be.

We cut back to the interview area where the HWF and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt is being interviewed.  Bray says that he has survived this long and Angle won’t take what is his.  Bray says that Kurt doesn’t understand Bray but he will after Sister Abigail teaches him a lesson he won’t forget.

We shift our attention back to the ring for our first main event with the so called ‘champions’ the Phony Phlyers with Malo Leche de Mantequilla defending the titles against ‘The Original Big Daddy’ Donnie B and MW3.   The phony Phlyers comes out first (which is odd for champions to come out first) and they and Malo are booed incessantly.   Donnie B and MW3 come out to the biggest pop of the night so far.  Before Malo can bitch and moan, the Caped Crusader comes out dressed in a referee’s shirt.  He says that one of Hogan’s last mandates before losing power was to appoint CC as special referee for this match.  Of course, Malo Leche bitched and moaned but it fell on deaf ears.  Donnie B and MW3 go right on the offensive.  They were wiping the mat with the phony Phlyers. Malo tried on a couple of occasions to get involved but both Donnie B and MW3 nullified him pretty well.  Towards the end of the match, Malo tried to stick his nose in once again and the Caped Crusader had enough.  He nailed Malo with the WAM!BAM!POW! and Malo goes down like a ton of bricks.  Donnie B nails one of the Phlyers with a brainbuster and MW3 takes out the other with an MW3 superkick.  They both make their respective covers and the Caped Crusader makes the count 1…2….3.  Donnie B and MW3 have just regained their World Tag Team titles.  Malo recovers and climbs in the ring to have words with the winners.  He eats a superkick from MW3 and Donnie B unmasks him revealing him to be…..the NEGRONOMICON!  Holy Cow.  He was supposed to be banned.  Master Bull comes out and says that Malo aka the Negronomicon and the phony Phlyers are now FIRED!  Malo gets up and tries to complain again and eats another WAM!BAM!POW from the Caped Crusader and this time, he stays down.  The champs and CC all leave the ring.  The phonies leave and Malo is taken out by medics on a stretcher.

Master Bull comes back out and says that it is great to be back in power.  He says that 2015 will see a lot of Hogan’s crap fixed and lots of new changes will be on the horizon. Droopy Balls McShonnessay makes his way out interrupting Master Bull.  Droopy says that he covered his own trip here and was not leaving without wrestling on the card.  Bull says that there is no room for him and he needs to leave. Droopy Balls gets a chair and sets it up in the ring.  He refuses to budge unless he gets a match.  Bull turns and asks “does anyone in the back want to wrestle this…person?”  Rob Van Dam makes his way out to a deafening pop and says he was in town and for one night only, he is back in the CSWA and HWF.  RVD accepts the match.  Droopy Balls and RVD fought for 22 minutes but Rob kept the upper hand most of the time.  Droopy Balls tried to leave but the Caped Crusader appears and sent him back in.  RVD nails a Van Terminator and after a 1-2-3, he gets the win.  Master Bull comes back out and FIRES Droopy Balls McShonnessay.

Master Bull then introduces our main event.  Undisputed Heavyweight Championship Bray Wyatt takes on CSWA champion Kurt Angle.  Master Bull says that he wants Starcade to end on a real BANG so he makes this match a Steel Cage Match with no time limit.  This one was a solid performance by both men.  Neither could get a leg up on each other.  Both men went toe to toe for a solid 16 minutes.  After catapulting Bray into the cage busting him open, dazed, he turned around right into an Angle Slam.  Kurt makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 and now it’s a race to get out of the ring.  Kurt climbs the cage but Bray follows him.  Both men trade punches from the top of the cage.  Kurt bounced Bray’s head off the top of the cage and Bray falls back down.  Kurt starts to climb out of the cage but stops.  He climbs back in and nails a MOONSAULT from the top of the cage to an unconscious Bray Wyatt below.  Kurt takes a minute to recover (HOLY SHIT chants rained throughout the stadium) and then makes his way to the door.  Kurt crawls out of the door and wins the match and is the NEW UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!  Bray leaves the ring and as the cage is being raised, Kurt celebrates in the ring with his new title as our 3 day PPV extravaganza comes to an end.

That is all.  Thank you for watching and reading.  There will be one more wrestling card before we leave England so stay tuned.  I’m sure Master Bull will start putting his new rules and guidelines in place before the New Year begins.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.09 – Starcade day 2

Hello fans and welcome to Day 2 of Starcade.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out to kick off the show.  “The Hulkster is in the HOUSE, brother.  Welcome to Day 2.  Last night’s performers put on a HELL of a show, Brother and we know that it will continue today.  It’s Time, it’s time, it’s time to get this party started.”  Pyro goes off as Hogan leaves the stage.

We are ready for our first match and it is the Women’s Battle Royal.  The participants all begin to make their way to the ring.  Gail Kim, the Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Velvet Sky), Madison Rayne, Alicia Fox, Brie and Nikki Bella, Natalya Neidhart, Layla El, and Fusion Valentine (who was accompanied to the ring by Southern Belle.)  There was a bit of jawjacking going on between Southern Belle and Madison Rayne.    Madison got eliminated while she was yelling at Southern Belle.   Belle actually nailed a discus punch on Madison.  Her eyes went all wide and she backed away very cautiously.  While that was going on, the in ring action came down to Fusion Valentine vs Angelina Love.  Fusion was looking for help from Southern Belle but when she noticed she wasn’t in her corner, she turned in frustration and ate a dropkick from Angelina that sent her flying out of the ring.  Angelina Love is declared the winner and will get a future title shot at either the Women’s or Diva’s title.

We learn that after the fight between Sting and Randy Orton, Orton suffered a broken tooth and had to go to the dentist.  He got a crown made of gold.  I guess that means that Randy really did have gold in his future.

HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt is being interviewed and he says that Kane is going down the wrong path and Bray and Sister Abigail will show him the error of his ways and set him on the path of righteousness.

We head to the ring for the next match which is Kane challenging Bray Wyatt for the HWF World title.  The challenger comes out first followed by Champion Bray Wyatt.  A stipulation got added that made this a ‘falls count anywhere match’.  For the first 10 minutes, Kane stayed toe to toe with the champ.  However, Bray turned up the intensity after that and Kane took the pounding of a lifetime.  Bray schooled the Big Red Machine for another 15 minutes beating him down.  Finally, Bray puts Kane on a table and then nailed a Plancha that put Kane through said table. The ref counted and got to 3 awarding the match to Bray who is STILL the HWF World Champion.

Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel (huge pop) says that she will be sending Cactus Jackie home empty handed.  Jackie walks over and bitch slaps her.  Raquel had to be restrained while Jackie smirked and said “See you in the ring, bitch.  Oh, and bring MY title.”  She walks away laughing.

Next up we have #ConanJones taking on Adrian Neville.  Neville has been taunting # for the last few weeks.  # has been on a bit of a losing streak and seems to have lost his way.  He did however come to the aid of Casey Jones yesterday so we should dig deeper into what is going on with that.  #ConanJones started off pretty strong and looked like he was on his way to a win but then Neville’s partner Adam Rose came out and Jones got thrown off his game.  Neville blasts # with the Red Arrow and with his feet on the ropes, he scores a pin.  Adam Rose jumped into the ring and started stomping down #.  Music hits and out comes the Caped Crusader but he stops and motions for someone else to come out.  Out comes Casey Jones and he heads to the ring.  Casey fends off Adam Rose and Adrian Neville.  He helps #ConanJones to his feet.  Casey raises the arm of #ConanJones to the cheering of the fans.

Next up is our next title match with Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel taking on Cactus Jackie.  This was a perfect example of someone not backing their mouth with their actions in the ring.  Raquel dominated her challenger and in what was nothing short of an ass-whupping, Raquel scores the pin and the win after hitting Jackie with the Simply Ravishing at the 14 minute mark.

Next, a short video is run showing the history between The Elitist Reid Rothchild and Professor Cobra.  There will only be one survivor.

We go back to the ring for our next match which has Wyatt’s Warriors (Super Warrior and the Warrior of Truth) lock up with Beer Money (James Storm & Bobby Roode).   Beer Money had this one pretty much locked up.  James Storm ends up breaking a beer bottle over the head of the Super Warrior knocking him out.  Bobby nailed a Northern Lariat on Truth almost taking his head off.  Roode makes the cover and gets the win in a 16 minute total ass-kicking.

Professor Cobra comes out first and says that he will destroy Reid and take the title.  Reid comes out and goes right after the Professor.  They battle all the way to the ring and finally, after a few minutes of brawling, the match officially begins but not before Hogan comes out.  He says these two need to clear the air between them and makes this match a Denver Street Fight rules match.   Hogan also adds a no-time limit stipulation so the two can put this to rest for good.  Professor Cobra pulled out every dirty little trick he could.  While brawling with Reid on the floor, Cobra bashed Reid’s head into the steel post busting him open.  In 8 minutes, Cobra scores the win and becomes the NEW ELITIST Champion.  Professor Cobra kept on kicking and stomping on Reid even after the bell.  The ref could not get him to stop.  The Caped Crusader shows up and blasts Professor Cobra sending him reeling.   The Caped Crusader says that even though this type of match is supposed to settle the score, Cobra took it too far.  Caped Crusader asks GM Hogan to restart the match.  Hogan agrees (but I think he wanted to see someone get beat down even more).  This time, we have Death Match rules and no pleading from the Professor Cobra will change the outcome.  Cobra was on fire once again taking advantage of all the rules he could break.  This match actually went on for a whole HOUR.  The two just kept beating the crap out of each other.  There were lots of very close calls with Cobra getting the majority of them.  Just beyond the 60 minute mark, an exhausted (and very bloody) Reid nailed a Snake’s DDT onto a steel chair.  Cobra was out cold.  The ref began counting and once he reached 10, called the match via KO.  Reid Rothchild has regained his title.  Both men had to be helped out of the ring by medical personnel.  They both got a standing ovation from the fans.

GM Hulk Hogan comes out and explains the rules of the next match.  “This is how this one will go down, brother.  The US and IC champions, AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler respectively will team up to take on their opponents Samoa Joe and Daniel Bryan.  The champs must secure the win in order to retain.  If Joe or Bryan score the win, they will win the two singles titles.  Let’s get this underway, brother.”

The opponents – Daniel Bryan and Samoa Joe came out first.  They were then followed by Champs AJ Styles (US) and Dolph Ziggler (IC).  These 4 put on a fantastic 5 star match that is sure to be a contender for match of the night.  The champs kept their opponents on the ropes with constant tags.  This one went 32 minutes and only came to an end after a miscommunication.  AJ threw Samoa Joe out of the ring where he crashed into Daniel Bryan.  Arguing ensued and Dolph Ziggler launched himself over the top rope taking out both competitors.  Dolph makes it back in the ring just before the 10 count is reached.  AJ and Dolph retain via countout. The quality of the match makes up for the crappy win as I think the fans really wanted to see a pin or submission.  Had that happened, I bet this would have been a match of the year contender.

A video going through the history of John Cena vs Brock Lesnar is aired.  Brock has promised that after the destruction of John Cena, he was going to claim HIS rightful title - the HWF World title.  John Cena promises that he will never give up; never surrender and the only way Brock walks out with a  victory tonight is over Cena’s dead body.  The Steel cage is being set up while this is going on. 

It is time for the MAIN EVENT.  John Cena vs Brock Lesnar in a steel cage match.  First, out comes the BEAST Brock Lesnar.  Next, familiar music hits but its not typical Cena music.  Blaring through the loudspeakers is ‘Bad, Bad, Man’.  Cena comes out and he is a man on a mission; determined.  Brock is in the ring baiting him.  Cena climbs into the cage and we ready to go.  Cena came in and pushed himself to the limit but that wasn’t enough to take on the Beast.  After 10 minutes of going toe to toe, Brock hits a running powerslam into the cage and that about broke Cena.  Brock hit powerslam after powerslam after powerslam.  Cena’s back is probably mush.  Brock nails a superplex and makes the cover.  The ref counts 1…2…3.  Brock got the pin but now has to escape the cage.  Brock picks John up again and nails the F-5.  Brock walks to the cage door, opens it and steps out. Brock Lesnar has won this one in dominant fashion.  Cena is having issues getting up and keeps falling down.  The ref tries to help John up but sees that John needs serious medical help.  He calls for the medics who comes down and assist Cena be taken out on a stretcher.  John is taken to the back as the fans watch on in concern.

That is all for Day 2.  Stay tuned for Day 3.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.08 – Starcade is here – Day 1:

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We are coming to you LIVE from Starcade in merry ol’ London, England.  Wembley Stadium is packed to the rafters.  This place is literally busting at the seams.   I can tell you the fans here are electric.  Although we haven’t seen them yet, rumor has it that the ROYAL Family is in attendance.  The buzz that is going on here – you can feel it down into your bones.  It’s very exciting.  Pyro starts to go off and with that, the show begins.

GM Hulk Hogan makes his way to the stage. “Hello London Brothers.  The Hulkster is in the HOUSE.”  The fans pop and it takes almost a full minute before he can continue.  “The HWF and CSWA are proud to bring you STARCADE.  We will have 3 full days of action and I can promise you that no one is going to leave disappointed.  Each and every on-staff performer will be putting on a show like none other.  I invite you to sit back and enjoy the show.  WHATCHA GONNA DO, LONDON, WHEN THE HWF, CSWA AND HULKAMANAIA RUN WILD ON YOU?”  The fans pop again and we are ready for our first match of the evening.

The first event is going to be our Battle Royal where the winner will receive a future title shot. Participants include Bo Dallas, the Caped Crusader, David Otunga, Ethan Carter III, Kevin Steen, Jack Swagger, Kazarian, Malo Leche de Mantequilla, Mike Bennett, Robbie E, Rob Terry, Rockstar Spud, Tyson Kidd, Xavier Woods, Big E Langston, Christian, Christopher Daniels, Curtis Axel, Dean Ambrose, Epico Colon, Eric Young, Heath Slater, Jeff Hardy, Jey & Jimmy Uso, Ken Anderson, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, Primo Colon, Prince Devitt, Roderick Strong, Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, Tajiri, Tyler Breeze and Zack Ryder.  But wait, there is one person missing.  Yep, there he is…Droopy Balls McShonnessay.  The double ring is set up but just before it can begin, new music hits.  “BREAK THE WALLS DOWN” blares and out comes Chris Jericho.  “Welcome to London…is…Jericho.  I know I needed time off but I could not pass at making a contribution to our first ever overseas PPV.  Now that I’m here, we can get started.”  The bell rang.

The eliminations began almost immediately and within the first 5 minutes, over half had been eliminated. The surprise elimination of the night is Droopy Balls McShonnessay eliminating Malo Leche de Mantequilla.  The eliminations continued until there were 4 left…Mark Henry, Chris Jericho, Christopher Daniels and Curtis Axel.  (side note Tyler Breeze eliminated quite a few people).  Chris Jericho laid the chops on Henry and Mark got eliminated.  After a strong run of his own, Curtis Axel is suplexed outside the ring and is eliminated.  Jericho and Daniels put on a 5 star match that was practically even through their battle.  Jericho had been doing a lot of back damage to Daniels so when the Fallen Angle went for a dropkick, Jericho caught him mid-air and dropped him into the Walls of Jericho.  Chris locked Daniels in the middle of the ring but then slingshotted him right out of the ring for the win.  Chris Jericho is the winner of the Battle Royal.

We head to the back where Senor Vampiro is pacing.  He says that tonight, El Chango will feel the pain that comes from barb wire.  El Chango will suffer like none other and tonight, win or lose, this is their final battle.

We go back to the ring for our next match with Prestige Inc. members King Damian Sandow and Magnus taking on Goldust and Stardust.  The Dust Brothers have been trying to bring back the ferocity that Prestige Inc of old had and in this match, I think they succeeded.  Prestige turned on the heat and really beat the pants off the Dust Brothers.  In 15 minutes, Goldust is pinned after King Damian hits him with a spinning elbow drop.  His lordship is cheered by the fans and he and Magnus celebrate in the ring as the Dust Boys sulk to the back.

Alexander Rusev is backstage and as soon as he shows up on the Omegatron, the entire stadium boos him.  “You English dogs…you are just as bad as the American dogs.  I will destroy the Olympic champion Kurt Angle and will take his title to Mother Russia where President Putin will bestow on me the greatest of honors.  This I promise you.”  We couldn’t hear much after that as the fans were so loud, they drowned him out.  

We go back to the ring for our first title match of the night.  Casey Jones is defending the X-Division title against Adam Rose.  About 6 ½ minutes in, Adam Rose is on the outside of the ring and Tyler Breeze jumps in from the crowd and drops Rose resulting in a countout.  Tyler gets on the mic and tells Casey Jones that he was defending the title against the wrong person (meaning Rose never deserved it) and he wants the shot now.   However, Breeze says that Casey wins a lot of his matches by countout so he wants their match to be no DQ/CO.  Hulk Hogan comes out and says that Breeze is on the CSWA roster, not the HWF.  Hogan asks Tyler if he is willing to forgo a future US title shot to move rosters. Tyler says yes.  Hogan makes the move official and we have our next match.

Casey Jones vs Tyler Breeze for the X-Division title went 17 minutes and Casey was not prepared for the onslaught that followed.  Casey fought back but Tyler was uber-determined that tonight is his night.  Tyler catches Casey with an Implant DDT and 3 seconds later, we have a NEW X-DIVISON CHAMPION.  Tyler takes the belt, poses for a few moments and then leaves.  Casey is helped up and out of the ring.

CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle is in the back.  He says that he is looking forward to fighting Bray Wyatt for the Undisputed title; a title he hasn’t held in a very long time but he is not looking past Alexander Rusev.  Once Rusev is taken care of (It’s True, it’s DAMN true), Angle will look to his next fight.

We go back to the ring for our next title shot.  The North American Champion Big Show vs Ryback is a rematch for the title.  Ryback is accompanied to the ring by Shield teammates Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins.  Big Show is looking worried.  Ambrose and Rollins jump Big Show before the bell rings but Show shrugs them off and nails both with knockout punches.  The ref then sends them to the back and now Ryback is looking worried.  The champ showed why he was able to defeat Ryback the first time and had little issue doing it again.  Big Show retains the title after nailing a chokeslam and then stands tall with his foot on Ryback as the 1-2-3 is counted.  Big Show celebrates his win.

We cut backstage to an altercation transpiring. Tyler Breeze is flaunting his win saying that there was no way Casey jones would win once the CO stipulation is removed.  Casey walks into the dressing room and Tyler gets in his face saying “this is the guy who ended your streak…no FanBrongo or whatever his name was.  Me…Tyler Breeze.  Remember that name.”  It looked like the fight was going to continue but then #ConanJones walked in and got Casey out of there before anything else could go down.

Back in the ring, the barbwire cage is being put together. This is a nasty way of ending ones feud/career.  The structure is very unforgiving and we can promise you, blood will be spilt tonight.  El Chango comes out first and climbs into the structure.  Before Senor Vampiro makes his way out, the lights go off and a spotlight shines in the center of the ring…like the bat symbol but it’s not a bat…its…a….STACHE.  El Chango looks on in confusion.  Senor Vampiro comes out and now it’s on like Donkey Kong…or is it.  El Chango starts right off with an eye rake and a shooting star press and PINS Senor Vampiro in the ring.  He carefully climbs out of the cage and is victorious.  All this in under a minute.  Senor Vampiro is not happy.  El Chango tries to run but Vampiro catches up to him.  He whips him into the barbwire structure and El Chango is bleeding.  Vampiro drags him back into the ring and proceeds to wrap him in barb wire.  He then hits him with a barbwire bat, a barbwire steel chair and a barbwire kendo stick. By now, El Chango is bleeding profusely.  Vampiro nails a 3 inch punch that drops El Chango.  He then hits the 5 point palm explosion and El Chango is out.  Senor Vampiro, satisfied with his revenge, leaves the bloody mess that is El Chango behind.  El Chango is helped out of the ring by medics…Hey, that’s odd…one of the medics is wearing a mask. Why is a medic wearing a mask.  He turns and…Holy Cow…is that…The STACHE?  He helps take El Chango to the back.

As the ring is being cleaned and that abomination of a structure is being dismantled, we cut to the back for two separate interviews.   One is by Sting.  Sting is happy to be in London and knows that a title match could be in his future, but that means a loss has to be in Randy Orton’s.  Sting says he has one good solid run left in him and he will go out on top.

We cut to another interview area where Randy Orton is being interviewed.  Orton says he keeps getting passed up for title shots even though he is the only man capable of being the ‘face’ of any organization.  He wants, nay, deserves a title shot and if that means he goes through Sting, then so be it.  You can take it to the bank that Orton will have gold in his future.

The ring is cleaned up and we are ready for our next title match which is the Six Man Tag Team Champions the A-Team taking on Jay Lethal, Kenta and Sanada for the titles.  The A-team brought the A-game but it wasn’t enough to get a 3 count.  Abyss, Cesaro and Aries all hit their ending moves but the quick work of their opponents kept them still in the game.  Just as the 30 minute time limit bell rang, Cesaro hits a cradle facebuster and we think he’s got it but when the ref counted to 2, the bell rang signaling a time limit draw.   Lethal and the Asian Exchange could be in line for a future rematch.

GM Hulk Hogan says that so far, he’s extremely pleased and impressed by these wrestlers.  He says that Sting vs Orton is pivotal but Angle has so much more on the line than just the title.  He is representing all of America and he will have his hands full.  Hogan says that he will have a special surprise for Kurt Angle.

We go to the ring for the first of our two main events.  First, out comes Randy Orton.  Orton is getting booed as he makes his way to the ring. He is then followed by the ICON – Sting.  Sting gets one of the best pops of the night.  The two men meet in the ring and are staring nose to nose.  The bell rings and we are off.  This one was nothing short of a good ol’ fashioned fight.  Orton nailed an RKO right off the bat but could not keep the Stinger down.  Sting battled back and got Orton into the Scorpion death lock.  Orton, screaming in pain, somehow made it to the ropes but his back was never the same after that.  Sting got Orton up to the top turnbuckle and then nailed a side slam down to the mat.  Orton was squirming in pain.  Sting made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  Sting defeated Randy Orton in 12 minutes to win a future title shot.

It is time for the Best of 3 Falls MAIN EVENT.  First, the challenger: hailing from Bulgaria and Russia (he claims to have dual citizenship now), the Bulgarian Bully Alexander Rusev!  Rusev makes his way down to the ring carrying both the Russian and Bulgarian flag.  Around his neck is a chain and attached to that is an 8x10 of President Vladimir Putin.   The London fans do not like Rusev and they are sure to make their voices heard.  Kurt’s music hits and the CSWA World Champion makes his way to the ring.  He has a smaller version of the American Flag draped across his shoulders.  His pyro goes off and then his music stops.  Hogan comes out and says “This is for you, brother” and then leaves.  All of a sudden, new music comes on and it is ‘Real American’.  Kurt turns to offer the Peace sign to Hogan and then heads to the ring.  The London fans are 100% behind Kurt.  Kurt hands off the flag and his title.  The ref attaches the Russian chain to Kurt but before it can be attached to Rusev, the Bulgarian Bully bashes Kurt with the chain.  The ref is trying to get him to back off  but Rusev is relentless.  All of a sudden, the old 60’s Batman music begins to play and out comes the Caped Crusader.  “Rusev, you bully.  I told you I would not stand for this and it appears to me you need to be taught a lesson.  I’ve gotten permission from GM Hulk Hogan to also make this a Lumberjack style match.  Let me introduce you to the lumberjacks.”  All of a sudden 20 people come out all dressed like the different versions of Batman.  There’s the Christian Bale Batman, the Clooney, Kilmer, Frank Miller’s version, along with a slew of others.  “Justice.  We will be here to keep the peace.”  Angle went on the offensive but then so did Rusev.  The Batmen on the outside didn’t get involved; only made sure the fight would be a fair one.  After Angle lowered his straps, he turned on the intensity and then walked right into the Accolade and got pinned in the middle of the ring in 19 minutes. Angle was busted up.  The second fall was all Kurt Angle and after choking Rusev with the chain, Kurt covered him for the 1-2-3 in 17 minutes.  The third fall was the shortest of them all.  Kurt kept the intensity up and in only 5 minutes, nailed Rusev with the Siberian Husky head smash and covered him for the pin.  Kurt Angle retains the CSWA World title in a battle from Hell.  The ref freed Kurt from the chain and the Batmen got in the ring and paraded Angle around on their shoulders as confetti and Real American played again.

That is the end of Day 1.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.07 – the Road to Starcade

Hello fans, this is going to be a short issue as we recap the happenings on the road to Starcade.  As we mentioned in the last issue, Droopy Balls McShonnessay was only able to get a flight to London (he is not an official member of the roster so he had to cover his own airfare) via a prop plane.  As of day one of the Fan Fest, he still is not here. 

On the plane ride over, there was a bit of comedy relief going on as it turns out that Axe and Dirk Devon’s seats were all the way in the back and both sat right next to the restroom for the ENTIRE flight.  I guess Rocky Lapetus got the last laugh on that one.

During day one of the fan fest, a couple of altercations occurred.  Even though the performers were spread throughout the venue, most of the newbies (new to the federations) sat close to each other.  Apparently, MVP thought he was a true MVP and deserved to be in the same room as the champions but that was not the case.  MVP and Bram decided to interrupt the signings at the Miz-fit table.  Jealous that they didn’t have anyone at their table, they tried to start something with the Fiend and the Miz.  Security was on hand and diffused the situation before someone did something they might regret.  An interesting note, the Fiend had a LOT of people (mostly Misfit fans) at his table and Miz got to partake some of that by association.  Also noteworthy, the Caped Crusader, Southern Belle and (making his first public appearance) the Stache all had an abundance of fans at their tables.  Speaking of Caped Crusader, you’ll never guess who actually approached him for an autograph…it was none other than our past and present ‘Batman’ actors.  In attendance were Ben Affleck, Christian Bale, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and, yes, Adam West.  All the actors took pictures with the Caped Crusader in what was surely the biggest surprise / highlight of the fan fest.   

In a separate part of the building, ‘the original Big Daddy’ Donnie B and MW3 were signing autographs but they were rudely interrupted by Malo Leche de Mantequilla and his phony Phlyers.   Malo caused such a ruckus that it caused GM Hulk Hogan to come over and along with his meat shield, physically removed the team.

Day 2 of the fan fest had no major complaints.  The place was packed and everyone on the HWF and CSWA rosters made some extra spending money.  There was a bit of tension between Cactus Jackie and Fusion Valentine who happened to be sitting next to each other but they both acted like professionals.  Droopy Balls McShonnessay finally arrived and looked like death warmed over.  He was able to sign just enough autographs to cover cab fare back to the airport much less a flight home.  (Editor’s note: his ‘GoFundMe’ page is still live if you feel sorry enough for him and want to donate.)

Here is how the 3 day card will go.  The card line up is subject to change.  If one day runs short, matches could be moved between days.

Friday

·         Battle Royal for anyone not in a single or tag team match

·         Prestige Inc. vs the Dust Brothers

·         Casey Jones vs Adam Rose for the X-Division title

·         North American Champion Big Show vs Ryback in a rematch for the title

·         Senor Vampiro vs El Chango in a barb wire match.

·         Six Man Champions the A-Team vs Jay Lethal, Kenta and Sanada for the title

·         Cross Promotional Match - Sting vs Randy Orton

·         CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle vs Alexander Rusev in a Russian Chain match

Saturday

·         Women’s battle Royal (Fusion Valentine, Gail Kim, Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Angelina Love, Natalya Neidhart, and Layla El.)

·         HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt vs Kane

·         Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel vs Cactus Jackie

·         #Conan Jones vs Adrian Neville

·         The Elitist Reid Rothchild vs Professor Cobra.  The title was held up and they will battle for the championship.

·         Wyatt’s Warriors vs Beer Money

·         Champs AJ Styles (US) and Dolph Ziggler (IC) vs.  Samoa Joe & Daniel Bryan. Champions must score the pin or they both lose their titles.

·         John Cena vs Brock Lesnar in a steel cage match

Sunday

·         The Miz-Fits vs Bram & MVP

·         HWF vs CSWA World Champions to see who will fight for the Undisputed title.  If Bray retains against Kane, then whomever wins between Angle and Rusev will meet Bray for the Undisputed Heavyweight title.

·         Women’s Champion AJ Lee vs Spider Violet

·         Dirk ‘the pick’ Devon & the Axe vs Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley

·         Hardcore Champion Sheamus vs Wade Barrett

·         Master Bull vs Hulk Hogan for the full managerial rights for the HWF and CSWA - Master Bull vs Psycho Jack (representing Hogan) for the title GM

·         Donnie B and MW3 vs the ‘phony’ Phlyers w/ Malo Leche de Mantequilla for the tag team titles

·         Undisputed Heavyweight Championship Bray Wyatt vs HWF or the CSWA champion

The show is just around the corner so stay tuned.