Hello fans, welcome back. Well, for those that cared, I got my PC back and will make sure I never leave without it again.
The PPV had to be the strangest thing (kinda like a combination of Six String Samurai, Clockwork Orange and Dee Snider’s Strangeland) I have ever witnessed as both a fan and reporter of professional wrestling.
As soon as this reporter got there, he ran into CM Punk who was fairly upset at not being on the card. I tried to interview him but he refused. John Cena came in next and tried to talk to Punk to calm him down. Punk didn’t want to be calmed down and started a fight with Cena. It ended when Punk hit the champ in the back multiple times with a steel chair. He walked away in disgust.
The evening began with Chris Jericho defending the HWF US title against Rey Mysterio. Jericho came out wearing a very flamboyant robe and Rey came out wearing an outfit that looked like it belonged in a sci-fi movie. Very odd dress for these two. The bell rang and Jericho immediately pie-faced Mysterio. Rey tried to get back at Chris but Chris jumped out of the ring. Jericho made it back in and went right after Rey’s mask. He got it twisted around enough to blind Rey. Jericho then gave a blatant low blow to Mysterio right in front of the ref and was immediately disqualified. Jericho immediately left the ring and was met (for the first time tonight) by William Regal at the top of the ramp. Regal said that Chris, albeit clever, was not starting off the PPV on the right note. For the next time these two meet, and yes, they will, it will be a no DQ/CO match. Jericho complained and said that if he was required to put something on the line, so should Mysterio. This gave Regal a great idea…Title vs. Mask. I’m not sure if this will wait till the next PPV but it will happen sooner rather than later.
The next match on the card was Edge taking on Christian for the HWF IC title. Christian came out to the ring first with a bunch of cheerleaders leading him on and waited for Edge to show up. The music started but there was no Edge. Christian asked the ref to begin the count and if Edge didn’t show up in time, he would lose the match by forfeit. The ref began the count and by the time he hit 7, a bloody, beat-up Edge appeared at the top of the ramp. Somehow he made it down to the ring just before the ref hit 10. As soon as he got in the ring, Christian connected with a One-Man Concerto and got the 1-2-3. This prompted Regal to come out again and accuse Christian of this devious attack. Christian just shrugged and said it wasn’t him. Regal said that once Edge was back in the proper shape, he would get another shot at Christian. Christian didn’t seem worried at all.
The third match of the night was our 1st of 2 “revenge” matches. This one had Donnie B (or DB as he wanted to be called) taking on the Negronomicon (or Honkronomicon as DB called him). DB came down in his sooped up Saturn VUE blaring hip-hop out of the (probably blown) speakers. He got out of the VUE dressed up in his hip-hop attire wearing more gold necklaces than MR. T. ever had. It appears he had a little trouble getting into the ring due to all the extra weight he was carrying around. Suddenly, here comes the Negronomicon on his pink scooter putt-putting up to ring side. It took a few minutes for him to get from the top of the ramp to ringside as the engine in that thing was pretty pathetic. Finally Negronomicon got in the ring much to the adulation of the fans. Donnie B started yelling at them to shut up and that generated some heat for him. The bell finally rings and the two of these guys go at it like 2 people on a stranded island fighting over the last piece of food. DB was punching away on the face of N but N would counter with a nasty clothesline. Suddenly, confetti dropped from the ceiling covering all 3 people in the ring. There is soooo much junk in the ring, the participants can hardly move. The ref calls an end to the match making it a no-contest. DB gets a mic and says “Ok, I have had about enough of this I can take. Regal, you need to come down here to the ring. I want to address you as your BOSS and not as a wrestler.” Regal made his way down to the ring and got in. “William, I want you to know that up until now, I thought you were doing a fantastic job. I don’t know why you decided to bring in these “writers” but I think they are making this product worse than it ever has been. I am executing my EXECUTIVE control and asking you politely to let them go and we can get back to business.” Regal replied “Sir, you gave me total control over the day-to-day operations of both the HWF and CSWA. That makes ME in charge and it was MY decision to do this and I feel they have something to add so I respectfully say NO to your request.” Donnie B came back with “Ok, then I tell you what…They want to make this place into a circus, then I am demanding a match; even a handicap one will suffice. I want these two “writers”, what are their names?” Regal said “Call them Vince and Ed.”. “Ok” Donnie B continued “I want Vince and Ed in the ring with any wrestler in the back. We can do a 3 on 1 match. If I win, they are gone. If any of them pin me, then they stay in place.” William said “Fine. Vince and Ed, I need you to come down here to the ring and bring, oh, let’s say, Mark Henry. Please, if you will, come down here so we can start this match.” Vince, Ed and Mark Henry came down to the ring together. If I’ve never commented on it before, Mark Henry is frickin’ HUGE! The bell rings with Vince and Ed attacking DB but he fights them off. He and Mark Henry have a stare down and then Mark LEAVES the ring. Regal is perplexed and yells at him to go back to the ring. Mark says as he passes by William “Hey, I know who ultimately pays my check” and went to the back. Back in the ring, DB nails Vince with 3 consecutive Lights Out brainbusters. He is done. He then traps Ed and locks him in what must be for a regular person, the worst most painful abdominal stretch anyone has ever seen. Ed screams in pain and yells “I Quit, I give up!” The bell rings and these two are escorted out of the ring and then out of the building. While DB is in the ring celebrating his win, Negronomicon attacks him and tosses him to the floor. He then hits DB with the Black Doom on the concrete. He leaves DB laying there unconscious.
The next match on the card has Handsome G and Super Warrior defending the tag team titles against John Morrison and Chris Daniels. Morrison and SW started the match trading blows back and forth. After not gaining any ground SW tags in Handsome G and Daniels makes his way in. Daniels tries to control the match but Handsome G hits the “Hogan Leg Drop” and almost gets the pin but Morrison makes the save. A quick double-team by the challengers is stopped by the ref. Another double-team on the Super Warrior and he makes the tag to Handsome G. SW is handling things ok but then after another double team on him by the challengers, Daniels hits a piston stomp on SW and Handsome G does not make it in for the save. Winners of the match and NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS – Chris Daniels and John Morrison.
Our next match is our first World title defense with Undertaker taking on Booker T in a Hell in the Cell match. Booker starts off the match by hitting a scissor kick but can’t go for the pin yet. Undertaker connects with a throat lift and Booker hits a flying headbutt. Booker connects with a spinning smash but Undertaker is the first to go to the Cell. He picks up Booker and nails a powerslam into the cage. Another throat lift on Booker but the Book hits the Bookend for a two count. Booker goes to the cell and hits a powerslam into the cage of his own but Undertaker grabs Booker by the head and gives him a continuous face rake across all 4 walls of the cage. Booker immediately screams “Enough, I quit! I give up!” The bell signals the end of the match and the winner and still HWF World Champion – The Undertaker.
Immediately after getting to the back, Donnie B notifies that this was Booker’s last title shot until he earns another one. Booker then asked to be traded to the CSWA. Donnie B said he would check with Jeff Meyers and see what can be arranged. Booker walked off all depressed.
Our next match is the second World Title match with John Cena defending his CSWA World title against the Great Khali. Cena hits a reverse chinlock but Khali turns it into a relentless backbreaker. Cena, still sore from the attack earlier in the evening, couldn’t stand the pain and submitted. In 60 seconds, we have a NEW CSWA World Champion – The Great Khali. Khali will go on to meet Undertaker to see who gets a shot at the Undisputed Champion Kurt Angle.
Our next match is the “Respect” match between MW3 and William Regal. At the last minute, Regal turned the match into an “Boot Camp” rules match. MW3 starts of with a swinging neckbreaker. Regal counters with a Regal Stretch but MW3 gets to the ropes early enough. Regal then hits MW3 with brass knuckles (which are allowed in this match) but can’t go for the pin yet. Regal hits an uppercut and MW3 goes down. We finally get to go the Boot camp rules and MW3 is the first to act. He dropped and gave Regal 20 pushups. Wow, the intestinal fortitude of this guy. He then hits a superkick and goes for the cover and gets the 1…2…kickout by Regal. That was close. Regal manages an eyerake and then goes to the corner to recover. MW3 goes right after him and connects with the MW3 driver but only manages a one count. MW3 goes to the boot camp rules again but this time hit a guerilla attack for a two count. Regal’s turn and he also give 20 pushups. MW3 hits the MW2 kneelift for another very close count. Regal connects with another eye rake and tried to rest again. MW3 hits a dragonscrew for 2. Another MW2 kneelift and another 2 count. Regal is showing great resiliance here. We hit the time limit but Regal said the match would continue. It went on for another 4 minutes and only ended after MW3 dug his heel into the esophagus of Regal causing him to not breathe and pass out. MW3 made the cover and got the win. MW3 wins the respect of William Regal. This is it for these two. No more retaliation will be allowed.
Mysterio vs Jericho is a mask vs title matchup. If Rey loses, he not only doesn’t win the belt but will have to unmask in front of the audience. Before the match began, the ref checked Rey’s mask to make sure nothing funny was going on. This match stayed extremely close until Rey connected with the first Hurricanrana. It wasn’t much later that Chris capitalized on a mistake and caught Rey in the Walls of Jericho. Chris had him in the middle of the ring. Rey tried to crawl to the ropes but as soon as he got close enough, Jericho pulled him back in. He had him in the Walls for a good minute. Rey, not able to take anymore, taps out. Chris Jericho is the winner. Rey now must unmask. Rey started to take off his mask and revealed that he was wearing face paint. You really couldn’t get a good look at him. He laughed a bit and then took off to the back. Jericho was left in the ring holding Mysterio’s mask. I’m sure Chris will be more thorough on his specifics in the future.
Next is the battle of the Champions with Undertaker taking on new CSWA World Champ the Great Khali. The new champ definitely held his own against the dead man. Undertaker actually tossed Khali out of the ring 4 times in this 8 minute match. Khali, not used to getting manhandled like this, came off his game and Undertaker capitalized. Taker managed to choke out Khali enough to weaken him so that he could make the cover and get the win. The Winner: the Undertaker. He now gets to meet Kurt Angle at the end of the evening for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship.
Samoa Joe vs. Cactus Jack for the North American title is next. This was truly a no-holds barred match. Neither man held anything back. Joe became very familiar with the term “Hardcore” and gave it his all. Joe connected with a muscle buster but Foley, the ring veteran, was able to make it to the ropes. Foley locks in the Mandible claw but only gets a two count. Joe then went to the top rope and did a moonsault onto Foley. HOLY SHIT! Chants rang out throughout the building. Joe was in no shape to make the cover so he gave Foley plenty of time to recover. The ref actually started to count both men down but the first time Joe got up to break the count and then fell back down. Then Foley got up just as the ref counted 9 and fell down after the ref stopped counting. Foley was actually the first to recover and hit Joe with the barbwire baseball bat busting him open. Foley hits the sweet shin music and follows it up with a double arm ddt in the middle of the ring. Joe is out. Foley makes the cover and gets the 1 – 2 – 3. Winner of the match and NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION – Mick Foley.
In the back, we see John Cena being attended to by medics. John says he wants CM Punk as soon as he is cleared to wrestle. Regal is nearby and says the match will happen.
The Cruiserweight title is on the line next with champion Santino taking on Shelton Benjamin. This match was a short one as Santino left the ring after 5 minutes getting counted out. Benjamin wins by count out.
Bobby Lashley was next taking on Randy Orton. Orton was still questioning why this match was happening. Bobby immediately took the fight to Randy who was unprepared for the onslaught of power from Bobby. Randy was totally off his game and tried to leave the ring. Lashley followed him out and continued with the beat-down. Bobby made it back in the ring before the 10 count was reached but the ref didn’t finish with the count; instead he reprimanded Lashley for leaving the ring. This gave Orton a chance to sneak into the ring and hit the RKO. He made the cover but Bobby KICKED OUT at 2 99/100’s. He got right up and tossed Randy to the ropes and just as he tried to connect with a clothesline, Orton ducked out of the ring and got a chair. Even though the ref tried to take the chair away, he hit Bobby with it causing the DQ. Bobby Lashely won the match via disqualification.
Our next match has Tommy Dreamer taking on Jay Lethal for the X-Division tile in a no time limit bout. Jay was quick the entire match and Tommy brought his Extreme skills to the ring. Once Dreamer was able to keep ahold on Lethal, he turned it up a notch but he rarely caught the challenger. At one point, Lethal hit the flying elbow drop for a 2 count. Dreamer somehow connected with a DDT but was unable to make the cover. The ref ended up counting both men down as neither made it up before the 10 count but since this match was to finally settle the score between these two, he let the match continue. Dreamer took the fight to the outside of the ring and both men brawled around the ring before finally getting back to business. Lethal hits a hurricaranna and then goes back to the top and connects with another flying elbow drop. He covers Dreamer and gets the 1-2-3 and becomes the NEW HWF X-Division champion. After the match, Dreamer appeared upset and as he was walking away from the ring, a fan reached over to pat him on the back. Tommy turned around and punched the poor guy right in the face. The fan went down and the fans almost rioted around Dreamer. Lethal came to the fan’s aide and posed with him and the belt. Little did Dreamer know, the fan he punched is actually a new wrestler to our fold. A guy by the name of The Bruiser (aka Pete Jacquez). He went with Lethal to the back to get introduced to all the guys.
Our second to last match is for the TV title between Batista and Shawn Michaels. Batista had words for Michaels once again while we waited for the special referee MW3 to come to the ring. He finally started the match after giving Michaels a really nasty look. Dave turned on the heat and Michaels went toe-to-toe with the big man. MW3 called the match fairly. With the history between he and Michaels, it was thought he’d be siding with Batista but surprised everyone. Michaels kept the fight between him and his opponent and didn’t start anything with MW3. Out of nowhere, Batista hit a Batista Bomb but only got a 2 count. Michaels, almost out on his feet, connected with Sweet Chin Music and Dave went down like a ton of bricks. Michaels got to his feet first and started to stomp a mudhole in Batista. Dave started to “Hulk-up” and shoved Michaels who crashed into MW3 knocking him out of the ring. Michaels tried to apologize and MW3 accepted and the match continued. Back in the ring, Michaels hits the ropes and nails Dave with a flying forearm smash. He motions for MW3 to come over and hit Dave. MW3 rears back and plants Dave with a superkick. Shawn goes for the pin. The count 1……2……uh oh, SWERVE. Dave pops up and MW3 hits Michaels with the MW2 kneelift. A dazed Michaels gets stuck in a Batista Bomb and is driven to (almost through) the mat. MW3 makes the slow count….1…..2…3. He raises Dave’s hand and awards him the belt. The winner of the match and NEW CSWA TV Champion – Batista.
Our final match of the night is the HWF Champion Undertaker taking on Kurt Angle for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship. Befor the match can begin, CSWA Champion The Great Khali comes down and attacks Kurt Angle. The match hasn’t begun yet so the ref can’t disqualify anyone. Khali chokeslams Angle from the ring to the floor. He gets into the ring with the Undertaker and they have a shoving match before Khali takes the Undertaker down. He takes a chair and knocks out the Undertaker. Khali grabs the Undisputed Championship and holds it with his own as we end the night. Just before the cameras stopped rolling, Angle jumps back in the ring and hits Khali with an Angle Slam. Khali rolls out of the ring. Angle goes to help Undertaker up and Undertaker shows his appreciation by chokeslamming the Undisputed Champion.
Regal comes out to end the show but announces some matches for the next house show.
Newcomer “The Bruiser” will take on Tommy Dreamer.
For the first time ever (I think), the Undisputed Championship will be defended in a 3-way battle between Champion Kurt Angle, the Undertaker and the Great Khali.
Thanks for joining us.
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