HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #844 (5/20/20)

Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter.  Pyro goes off and the show is ready to get underway.

We head backstage and a new logo flashes up on the screen:

J9 welcomes GM Master Bull in joining her in the interview area.  Master Bull begins “Dash, you think you pulled a fast one on us, huh?  Well, you may have prevented us from taking action (rumor had it Bull was going to fire Dash) but instead, as a member of the roster, you will be scrutinized even further.  Enjoy looking over your shoulder.”

We head to the ring for our first match.  First, Adam Jameson and Billy Robbins make their way out to the ring to a nice pop from the fans.  Once there, the music changed as 5^th Column members Baron von Blood and Oswald Zimmerman come out to massive booing from the fans.  Baron and Oswald hit the ring and attack Adam and Billy but A & B prove to be more than the Column could handle.   Adam and Billy controlled the match and even dominated at the end however they could not keep the Column down for a 3 count.  The bell ends up ringing at the 30 minute mark and Baron and Oswald bail and head (rush) to the back.  Adam and Billy interact with the fans briefly before making their own way back.  (30 min draw)

J9 is backstage with Drew the Canadian Love Machine.  Drew says he feels that he got a raw deal during his match against TV champion Jack Lumber.  J9 reminds him that tonight’s match is a non-title shot.  Drew says he’ll get the win tonight and get a second shot at the TV title.  J9 wishes him luck.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, Missy Chick comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  She gets into the ring and tries to get the crowd psyched up for the next match.  The music changes and a new logo flashes up on the Omegatron.

Maxine makes her way out and the fans boo the crap out of her.  She sneers at the fans and makes her way to the ring.  She gets in and the booing intensifies.  A scowl crosses her face and she begins laying into Missy.  Missy put up a good fight and the match was practically even.  Maxine hit Missy with the Sass Attack a few times but couldn’t keep her down.  At the 20 minute mark, Maxine rolled out of an exploder suplex and rolled Missy up and this time, had a handful of tights.  Maxine blocked the refs view as he counts 1-2-3.  Maxine gets the win and gloats as the fans boo her.  She mockingly laughs at them as she makes her way to the back.  (20 min)

J9 is backstage with Anytime/Anywhere Champion Phat Sol.  Phat says it’s good to be back in HCW and wearing gold.  Before he can continue, Muscles Weasley runs over and attacks Phat.  He tries to go for the pin a few times but his ref is out of place.  Phat hits the Phat’s Enough and covers Weasley for the 3 count.  Phat retains his title.  He takes off before anyone else can attack him.

Up next, we have a special challenge match.  First, Drew the Canadian Love Machine comes out to a huge pop from the crowd.  He interacts with the fans as he makes his way down to the ring.  He climbs into the ring and climbs one of the corner turnbuckles to a huge pop from the fans.  He steps down and waits for his opponent.  The loudspeaker blares “Choppin’ wood and lookin’ good” and out comes:

                 

                               

The TV Champion Jack Lumber (the flannel wearing lumberjack) makes his way out to a pop from the crowd.  He shakes hands as he makes his way to the ring.  He climbs in and climbs a turnbuckle holding his title high.  He steps down and lays his flannel and title on the outside of the ring.  This is a non-title match between the two.  If Drew wins, he will get another shot at the TV title.  The first few minutes are evenly paced until Drew hits a corkscrew pescado and that seemed to take the wind out of Jack’s sails.  Drew follows it up with the Lover Bomb and a quick pin attempt but Jack kicks out at one.  Jack kicks Drew in the gut but Drew takes Jack to the top rope and hits a superplex for a 2 count.   Drew immediately picks up Jack and nails a corkscrew pescado.  He goes for the pin and scores the 3 count.  Drew gets the win in this non-title match and is back in the running for another shot at the TV title.  Jack seems a little miffed but the two end up shaking hands and head to the back at the same time.  (6 min)

J9 is backstage with Steel Curtain member Starbuck Steel.  Starbuck says it’s been too long since he was the World Champion and tonight, he says he’s ready to recapture gold.  ‘Buck says that the Wicked Prophet has rules the roost too long and it’s time someone else took the reins.  J9 wishes him good luck.

Making her way out first for the next match:

Violet Valkyrie comes out first to a huge pop from the crowd.  She soaks in the applause and begins to walk towards the ring but then is jumped from behind by that figure dressed in all black.  She bounces Violet’s head off the ramp busting her open.  Violet gets pissed and the person in black takes off and Violet glares through the trickles of blood flowing down her face.  She gets up and makes her way to the back (looks like this match is cancelled).

J9 is backstage with Hayley Hailstorm.  Hayley says the towel was thrown in so therefore she never quit or tapped out.  She wants another shot at Korbi.  J9 asks if she can handle it and Hayley puts her hand in J9’s face to get her to stop talking and then turns and walks away.

Next up is a Top 10 challenge.  Hardcore Champion Scooter J challenged Matches Malone for his spot in the World Title top 10.   Music hits and out comes:

                          
                                   

Scooter J accompanied by TNT (acting as his manager) comes out first.  He makes his way down to the ring and enters.  Matches Malone comes out shortly thereafter and makes his way down to a small pop from the crowd.  Scooter J controlled the pace of the match but things got more interesting after TNT handed SJ a foreign object.  SJ popped Malone with it once and then hit a piledriver.  He went for the pin but Malone kicked out at 2.  2 minutes later, SJ hits Malone with it again accompanied by the 10 punches.  Scooter J makes the cover and gets the win.  Scooter J has just moved into the top 10 for the World title.  Scooter J takes a mic and tells the Wicked Prophet that he’s coming for that title.  (10 min)

We head to the back for the final time of the evening and J9 is patiently waiting for her guests but they take their slow ass time.  In walk the King and World Champion the Wicked Prophet and his manager Dash Woodbrick.  Dash says he talks for the King and Champ when it’s just him but right now, the ‘man’ has something to say. The camera begins to close in on Prophet.  “Starbuck Steel…listen good.  Tonight, the heavens part and I am endowed with the power of the universe and with that, I will SMITE you down and prove to the world what an undeserving peasant you really are.”  Prophet walks off and Dash laughs before looking down at J9 and then follows.

It’s time for our main event.  First,

Starbuck Steel comes out to a huge pop from the crowd.  He is wearing one half of the tag team titles.  He heads down to the ring and climbs in.  He climbs the turnbuckle and puts both arms in the air.  The fans applaud louder. 

The music is abruptly cut off when we hear some tire screeching before the next logos show up on the Omegatron.

               

Dash comes out first and points to the back.  

His Royalness, the King and World Champion the Wicked Prophet comes out to massive booing from the crowd.  Prophet mostly ignores the fans while Dash responds in kind to the crowd.  Prophet gets into the ring and walks by Starbuck forcing him out of his way as he climbs the turnbuckle and holds the World title high.  The fans continue to boo.  He steps down and hands his title to the ref.  Dash exits the ring after throwing some shade at Starbuck.  The bell rings and this one is off.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC/TT

Starbuck Steel executes a SMALL PACKAGE HOOKING TIGHTS....

The Wicked Prophet absorbs the punishment.

Starbuck Steel is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

The Wicked Prophet kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....

Starbuck Steel attempts to defend against FIRE - WALK WITH ME but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC/TT

Starbuck Steel executes a ROUND THE WORLD (4 TB'S)....

The Wicked Prophet attempts to defend against ROUND THE WORLD (4 TB'S) but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....

Starbuck Steel executes a THE BUCKINATOR....

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet executes a PROP 8....

Starbuck Steel absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel executes a THE BUCKINATOR....

The Wicked Prophet attempts to defend against THE BUCKINATOR but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC/TT

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a UNRIGHTEOUS DOMINION....

Starbuck Steel executes a OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK....

===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel executes a OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK....

The Wicked Prophet neutralizes OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK.

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....

Starbuck Steel attempts to defend against FIRE - WALK WITH ME but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel executes a OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK....

The Wicked Prophet attempts to defend against OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....

Starbuck Steel executes a OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK....

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet executes a BAPTISM OF FIRE....

Starbuck Steel attempts to defend against BAPTISM OF FIRE but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a BAPTISM OF FIRE....

Starbuck Steel executes a STARPLEX (SLINGSHOT SUPLEX)....

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled OC/TT

The Wicked Prophet executes a GNASHING OF THE TEETH....

Starbuck Steel executes a ROUND THE WORLD (4 TB'S)....

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel executes a OUT OF THIS WORLD DROPKICK....

The Wicked Prophet absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled OC.

Dash Woodbrick executes a Spit in eye....

Starbuck Steel executes a THE BUCKINATOR....

Just then, Scooter J comes down and grabs a steel chair.  As Dash distracts the ref, Scooter J hits Starbuck in the rib cage with the chair and then smashes it over his back.

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

Starbuck Steel rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....

The Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.

Starbuck Steel submits!!!

The Wicked Prophet wins with a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH over Starbuck Steel!!!

Scooter J leaves smirking.  The referee hands Prophet his title and he holds it high.  Starbuck rolls out of the ring and heads to the back presumably to look for Scooter J.  Dash joins them in the ring and laughs.  He holds two fingers in the air signifying #1 and points to the World Champion. 

The show comes to an end with Prophet and Dash standing tall in the ring.

More to follow so stay tuned.

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #843 (5/13/20)

Hello fans and welcome to our latest installment of the HCW Wrestling newsletter.   Management got approval to take us on the road so today’s show is coming to you from Olympia, WA.  HCW management made special arrangements with world renowned artist @Robsy (like Banksy but a tad less famous) to make new logos for some members of our roster.   The (almost) world famous artist will be kept on retainer during these trying times after thinking he was done after this.  The new logos will appear on the Omegatron when the wrestler makes their way out. 

The show kicks off backstage with J9.  “Tonight, my first guest needs no introduction.”

. 

(Get it…wood brick…Woodbrick)

The Masked Banana walks in dressed like Dash Woodbrick.

“Oh, look at me…blah blah blah, I’m Dash Woodbrick har har har.”  J9 begins laughing hysterically.  The Masked Banana then removes his coat and says “But it’s really me, the Masked Banana.  Just because someone can dress like someone doesn’t make them that person.  I will continue to prove to the world that Prophet and I are NOT the same person.”  (Editor’s note:  Does this mean Dash IS the Masked Banana?  We think NO.)

Pyro goes off and our show is ready to get underway.  First, out comes ‘Mountain Man’ Junior Huber to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  He makes his way down and steps over the top rope to enter the ring.  He begins pacing as he waits for his opponent…who just so happens to be his cousin.  Next, the lights go dim and out comes Wilber Townsend.  Wilber makes his way down but is not wearing his mask.  He is carrying something in his hand.  He gets in the ring and he and Junior exchange words.  Wilber then produces a mask that looks like a dead animal.  Wilber tells Junior “this is who you are” and hands him the mask.  Wilber is eluding to their time as a family – the Hubers and the Townsends.  Junior takes the mask staring at it momentarily before chucking it into the crowd.  Wilber attacks him.  Wilber gets the upper hand and holds it throughout the match although Junior leveled Wilber with “these hands” before barely missing the 3 count.   Wilber dropped Junior with the GTS and then locked in a rear chinlock and took him to the mat turning into a pin and securing the 3 count.  Wilber gets the win and retains his spot in the top 10.  (25 min)

Dash Woodbrick is backstage.  “Oh ha ha.  The yellow freak thinks he’s funny.  Keep it up funny man and you’ll be eating out of the other side of your peal.  You think you’re so funny, wait until you see your opponent tonight.  And that stupid @$$ logo, what crap!”  Dash then walks off.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  A new logo shows up on the screen:

Hayley comes out accompanied by her manager Matt Preacher.  Hayley has a mic in hand.  “I’ve been around for quite a while now and HCW and their idiot managers can’t seem to get my name right.  My last name is Hailstorm…not Hailstone.  My paycheck says Hailstorm…how hard is it to get it right?  Anyway, the logo is right and you stupid fans can see what it is…if you can read that is.”  She and Preacher laugh and then head to the ring.  After getting into the ring, the music changes and her opponent makes her way out.  

Korbi makes her way out and the fans pop for her.  Korbi heads to the ring and Hayley kicks at the ropes delaying Korbi’s entering the ring.  The bell rings and Korbi hits Hayley with a stiff arm uppercut.  Hayley retaliates with a roundhouse kick.  Hayley then hits a lifting reverse S.T.O.  Hayley hits a second lifting reverse S.T.O but then Korbi locks in an arm triangle lock.  Korbi has her trapped in the center of the ring and it doesn’t look like she will make it to the ropes.  Before she could tap out, Matt Preacher grabbed a towel and threw it into the ring.  The ref then called the match awarding the win to Korbi Kong.  Hayley rolled out of the ring.  Preacher explained that he saved her from the embarrassment of tapping out.   Hayley appeared to be ok with it and they left.  Korbi celebrated with the fans before leaving.  (3 min)

Drew the Canadian Love Machine shows up backstage talking to J9.   He tells her that Jack was a tough competitor but he doesn’t feel he got a good shake.  Drew challenges Jack to a match at the next show (non-title) but if he wins, he will want another title shot.  J9 thinks it’s a great idea.

The third match of the evening begins with “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYONE” and out comes Dr. Red Fang and his manager the Ambassador.  The fans boo and Fang hisses and growls at them.  They head to the ring.  The music changes and a new graphic shows up:

Peach, Pomegranate, Lime Margarita

Green, orange, purple margarita

Salt, rocks, frozen margarita

Hey Margarita!

The Masked Banana makes his way out and stops by the Banana Boat (his fan club) before making his way to the ring.  He is carrying one of the many Nannies and sets it up on the apron (so it can watch).  He enters the ring and Fang goes on the offensive hitting a Vampire Lunge and went for a pin but MB kicked out.  Fang follows it up with a Transylvanian Piledriver and another pin but MB kicked out again.  MB hits the Banana Cream Pie but Fang dropkicks him out of the ring.  Fang drags MB back into the ring and hits an Airplane spin.  He drops MB and goes for the pin but only gets a 2 count.  Fang then wraps MB up in the ropes and then goes over to Nannie.  MB screams for Fang to drop him but instead, Fang snarls and then takes a huge BITE out of Nannie.  MB screams “NO…NANNIE” and then escapes the ropes and hits Fang with the B.A.N.A.N.A.S. locking him up.  Fang has no choice and ends up tapping out.  The Masked Banana gets the win.  The fans pop for him but he is sad over the half eaten banana.  He places it in a trash can at ringside (no one wants a banana with a chunk ripped out of it) and then heads to the back.  A fan in the Banana Boat hands MB a “new” Nannie.  The Masked Banana is happy once again, gives the fan a hug and heads to the back.  Fang and the Ambassador eventually make their way to the back.  (5 min)

Backstage, Scooter J and TNT issue a challenge to the Steel Curtain.  Buzz and Starbuck walk in and after a little jaw jacking, agree to a non-title match.  That match is up next.

The music hits and out comes Scooter J and TNT.  They stop and look up at the Omegatron and see their new logos:

                                           

Hardcore Champion Scooter J and TNT head down to the ring to booing from the fans.  They mostly ignore them.  Once in the ring, the music changes and out comes the World Tag Team Champions – The Steel Curtain.

The fans pop huge as Buzz and Starbuck Steel make their way out.  They interact with the fans as they make their way to the ring.  They enter the ring and climb the turnbuckles as the fans pop louder.  They step down and Scooter J gets right into Buzz’s face.  “When we beat you tonight, we’re getting a title match.”  Buzz laughs.  “Do your best little man.”  The match begins and the Curtain dominate.  Starbuck finishes the match by hitting TNT with the Buckinator in only 12 minutes.  The Curtain leave barely having broken a sweat.  SJ and TNT strategize.  I don’t think this is over.

The British Crippler is backstage with J9 and she tells her that tonight, Catalina leaves with less than she arrived with.  The Crippler walks off and J9 just says “Wow”.

Up next is a title match for the 6 Man tag team titles.  First, the Muscles Trio come out minus their rainbow colored bull horns and boxes of cereal.  They seem to be all action and are ready for their match.   Once in the ring, the music changes and out comes the 6 Man Tag Team Champions.  Only Killa Pops has a logo:

Killa, Maximillian Redbeard and Superquake Ferguson make their way out.  The fans pop as they head down to the ring.  They get in the ring and Ferguson and Redbeard are towering over the Muscles Trio.  The belts are handed to the ref and this one begins pretty quickly.  The match was even between the two teams and neither were able to get much of an advantage over the other.  The match goes to the 30 minute time limit and the bell rings bringing this one to a draw finish.  The champs retain their belts in a very hard fought match. (30 min draw)

We head backstage with J9.  “My guest at this time is the Ladies Champion Catalina Harper.”  Catalina walks into the camera shot.  “I guess it’s time to defend my title again.  Crippler, I’d tell you that you have a chance at beating me, but I would be ‘lion’.  But hey, maybe you’ll get lucky. Stay PAW-sitive!!”  Catalina walks off laughing and J9 just watches her.

It’s time for our Main Event.  First, the British Crippler comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  She makes her way to the ring and enters.  A new logo flashes up on the Omegatron.

The Ladies Champion Catalina Harper comes out to massive booing from the crowd.  She hisses at them as she makes her way down to the ring.  She enters the ring and struts with her title held above her head.  Her lip curls as the fans become more vocal.  She hands her title to the ref and the match begins.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a KNEEDROP ON ARM....

The British Crippler (f) executes a CLOTHESLINE....

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Both Women in rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) executes a CLOTHESLINE....

Catalina Harper (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a SABERTOOTH TACKLE....

The British Crippler (f) executes a SURFBOARD....

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a ARMSTRETCHER....

The British Crippler (f) executes a SURFBOARD....

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a FOREARM UPPERCUT....

The British Crippler (f) neutralizes FOREARM UPPERCUT.

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a TAILSPIN....

The British Crippler (f) executes a NATTIE BY NATURE....

The British Crippler (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Catalina Harper (f) kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW....

The British Crippler (f) attempts to defend against CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a TAILSPIN....

The British Crippler (f) executes a CLOTHESLINE....

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a ARMSTRETCHER....

The British Crippler (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a PURR-FECT STORM....

The British Crippler (f) attempts to defend against PURR-FECT STORM but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled OC.

Catalina Harper (f) executes a JAW JACKER....

The British Crippler (f) executes a DISCUS CLOTHESLINE....

Catalina Harper (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...

The British Crippler (f) kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled DC

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Both Women in rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW....

The British Crippler (f) neutralizes CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Catalina Harper (f) rolled OC.

The British Crippler (f) rolled DC

Catalina Harper (f) executes a CATALINA CRAB....

The British Crippler (f) absorbs the punishment.

Catalina Harper (f) straps in the CATALINA CRAB.

The British Crippler (f) submits!!!

Catalina Harper (f) wins with a CATALINA CRAB over The British Crippler (f)!!!

Catalina gets the win and celebrates as she’s handed her title back.  The fans boo but then her celebration is cut short when a new logo shows up on the Omegatron:

Violet Valkyrie makes her way out and the fans pop huge for her.  She stands on the stage staring daggers at Catalina who is pissed that her celebration was interrupted.  Violet points at Catalina and then motions like she’s going to take Catalina’s title.  The show comes to an end with the champion in the ring screaming “NO, NO, NO!”

More to come so stay tuned.