Hello fans and welcome back to Day 3 of our Critical Mass PPV live from Columbia, SC. Tonight’s show, like all the others, has been sold out but replays will be available on different streaming services so if you need to catch up, you surely can.
GM
Max McGillicutty comes out to a nice reaction from the crowd. Max says that the fans are in for a treat
tonight. All the matches on the card
will be specialty rules.
Anytime/Anywhere Champion Brash Toothpick will defend the title against
the former champion Catalina Harper in a Street Fight Rules match. The Banker defends the TV title against
Azrael in an ECW rules match. Goldie
Locks and Penny Hall will square off with the rules for their match to be
determine at match time. The Snake Pit
will take on the Muscles Trio and that takes place inside a steel cage. Finally, the World Title is up for grabs when
Champion Jack Lumber (who has held the title since 4/18/21) defends it against
his nemesis The Wicked Prophet. This one
will also take place inside a steel cage however, it will be a best of 3 falls
match; much like the Ladies Title was last night.
Although
we didn’t mention it last night, former Ladies Champion Violet Valkyrie also
was one of the longest reigning champions having won the title 5/9/21 till her
loss to bestie Korbi Kong. Violet, in a
class act, left the ring allowing Korbi to enjoy her win sharing it with her
fans.
Pyro
goes off and today’s card is underway.
Our
first match of the evening is a Street Fight Rules match for the
Anytime/Anywhere championship. First,
the challenger and former champion Catalina Harper comes out first to a nice
pop from the crowd. She enters the ring
and waits. The music changes and out
comes the AA champ Brash Toothpick. He
gets a nice pop from the crowd. He makes
his way to the ring and enters. The
match starts immediately.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a Swanton Bomb....
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a SABERTOOTH TACKLE....
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a BACKDROP INTO BLEACHERS....
Catalina
Harper (f) attempts to defend against BACKDROP INTO BLEACHERS but is
unsuccessful.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a KNEEDROP ON ARM....
Brash
Toothpick attempts to defend against KNEEDROP ON ARM but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a Kip Up Evasion & Taunt....
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a SABERTOOTH TACKLE....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a HEAD SMASH ON EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE AND
CATALINA
CRAB....
Brash
Toothpick attempts to defend against HEAD SMASH ON EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE AND
CATALINA
CRAB but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a High Knee to Face....
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a JAW JACKER....
Catalina
Harper (f) is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Brash
Toothpick kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a Hammerlock Powerbomb....
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW....
Brash
Toothpick is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Catalina
Harper (f) kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a Chest Stomp....
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a PURR-FECT STORM....
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a Leapfrog Spear....
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a THE CAT'S MEOW....
Catalina
Harper (f) is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Brash
Toothpick kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a Kip Up Evasion & Taunt....
Catalina
Harper (f) neutralizes Kip Up Evasion & Taunt.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick executes a Throw out of Ring.... but Catalina holds on to the ropes,
swings back in and…
Catalina Harper
(f) executes a JAW JACKER....
Brash
Toothpick scores 4 points.
Catalina
Harper (f) is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Brash
Toothpick kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
Brash
Toothpick gets up and he’s acting all pissed off. He pushes Catalina….
Catalina
Harper (f) executes a CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW....
Brash
Toothpick attempts to defend against CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW but is unsuccessful.
Catalina
Harper (f) is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Brash
Toothpick was pinned by Catalina Harper (f)!!!
Catalina
Harper (f) wins with a CAT-ASTROPHIC BLOW over Brash Toothpick!!!
Catalina
Harper gets the win and becomes the NEW Anytime/Anywhere Champion. Brash gets all pissed and gets in her face
again. He pushes her once again but this
time, she headbutts him and grabs a handful of Brash’s mask. She yanks and it comes off in one fell swoop
revealing Dash Woodbrick underneath.
Dash is supposed to be suspended and should not have been here. GM Max McGillicutty comes out and tells Dash
he is FIRED. The fans pop and Dash
storms off. Catalina gets on the mic
and announces that she has made the hard decision to retire. She says she has had a great run but has
decided that it was time for her to leave and thanks HCW and its fans for the
great run. Max says that with Catalina
retiring as the champion, he announces that the belt will be officially
retired. The fans give Catalina a “thank
you” chant as she makes her way backstage.
Our
next match is ready to go. First, Azrael
comes out accompanied by his manager the Ambassador. The Ambassador gets on the mic and tells the audience
that they are looking at the next TV Champion and the Banker will be foreclosed
on. He laughs as they make their way to
the ring to the chorus of boos from the crowd.
Azrael gets in the ring and makes some obscene gestures at the fans and
that riles them up more. The music
changes and out comes the TV Champion the Banker. He is accompanied by his manager Ruth
Heartless. He has the TV title slung
over his shoulder. He gets in the ring
and hands his briefcase to Ruth. The ref
announces the match will have ECW rules and rings the bell starting this one
off.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....
The Banker
attempts to defend against SLINGSHOT SUPLEX but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a Golf Clubs to gonads AND REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....
Azrael
reverses Golf Clubs to gonads AND REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER!
Azrael
executes a SIDE HEADLOCK....
The Banker
reverses SIDE HEADLOCK!
The Banker
executes a LATE CHARGE CON-CHAIR-TO....
Azrael
neutralizes LATE CHARGE CON-CHAIR-TO.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a CREDIT CHECK CHOP....
Azrael
reverses CREDIT CHECK CHOP!
Azrael
executes a SPEAR....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
Azrael
is attempting a pin!!!
1...
The
Banker kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a NA....
Azrael
executes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a HURL OUT OF RING....
Azrael
executes a NA....
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a VENGEANCE....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
Azrael
is attempting a pin!!!
1...
The
Banker kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a HURL OUT OF RING....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a ATM FEE ARMBAR....
Azrael
executes a HURL OUT OF RING....
The
Banker straps in the ATM FEE ARMBAR.
Azrael
does not submit!
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a Throw Opponent off Eagles's Nest....
Azrael
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a DROPKICK....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
Azrael
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Banker kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....
The Banker
attempts to defend against SLINGSHOT SUPLEX but is unsuccessful.
Azrael
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Banker kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a RAM HEAD INTO RINGSIDE Barriers!....
Azrael
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a SIDE HEADLOCK....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 14th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....
The Banker
neutralizes SLINGSHOT SUPLEX.
=====
In the 15th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a DEPOSIT DIVING DDT....
Azrael
executes a SIDE HEADLOCK....
=====
In the 16th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a TAX AUDIT TURNBUCKLE THRUST....
Azrael
executes a VENGEANCE....
=====
In the 17th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....
Azrael
neutralizes REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER.
=====
In the 18th minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....
Azrael
executes a Suplex on Thumbtacks....
The Banker
is on defense for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 19th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a HURL OUT OF RING....
The Banker
neutralizes HURL OUT OF RING.
The Banker
is on defense for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 20th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a VENGEANCE....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
Azrael
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Banker kicks out of the pin!
The Banker
is no longer on defense.
=====
In the 21st minute of the match: =====
Azrael
executes a LEG DROP....
The Banker
attempts to defend against LEG DROP but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 22nd minute of the match: =====
The Banker
executes a DEPOSIT DIVING DDT....
Azrael
executes a RAM HEAD INTO RINGSIDE Barriers!....
Azrael
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
The
Banker was pinned by Azrael!!!
Azrael
wins with a RAM HEAD INTO RINGSIDE Barriers! over The Banker!!!
Azrael
gets the win and becomes the NEW TV Champion.
He stands over the bloody body of the Banker and holds the title
high. The Ambassador gets on the mic and
says that Azrael isn’t even winded after 22 minutes and immediately throws out
a challenge to any competitor who wants a shot at him but only has 8 minutes to
try to make something happen.
Just
then, Apollo Gyze comes out and says he will challenge Azrael and begins
walking to the ring. Biceps Bannerman
also comes out and says he will answer the challenge of the demon angel. GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that
this will now be a triple threat match for the TV title and he is making the
time limit 30 minutes with the ECW rules still in place.
The
match got to the 24 minute mark and Biceps was owning the match. Apollo just got tossed out of the ring. He knew he had no chance at winning so he
reached under the ring and grabbed a steel chair. Biceps hit a huge powerslam on Azrael and was
going for the pin but Apollo slid back in and blasted Biceps with the chair
causing the delay in the pin. Biceps got
up and stared daggers at Apollo. Apollo
threw him the chair which he was not expecting and then threw a fireball into
Biceps face blinding him. He then jumped
out of the ring. Biceps, blinded, could
not see anything including the spear that came from Azrael. Azrael went for the pin and got the 3 count
securing his first win as champion. The
Ambassador, fearful someone else might come out, grabbed the champ and his
title and made their way to the back.
Biceps was helped to the back by medics but by the time he got to the
stage, he seemed to be seeing ok. Apollo
better watch out.
Penny
Hall makes her way out and demands to know the match type she will be having
with Goldie Locks. Goldie makes her way
out to a huge pop and says that it will be a lights out match. Goldie starts to make her way to the ring and
Penny jumps out of the ring and attacks Goldie before she got to the ring and
started this one off. Penny rolls Goldie
back into the ring and then brings a table into the ring. She sets it up in the corner leaning against
the turnbuckles.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Goldie
Locks (f) executes a ONE-HANDED BULLDOG..
Penny Hall
(f) reverses ONE-HANDED BULLDOG!
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Penny Hall
(f) executes a DIVING SHOULDER BLOCK....
Goldie
Locks (f) reverses DIVING SHOULDER BLOCK but sends Penny crashing through the
table in the corner; She then drags her
to the middle of the ring.
Goldie
Locks (f) executes a LOCK BREAKER....
Penny Hall
(f) absorbs the punishment.
Goldie
Locks (f) straps in the LOCK BREAKER.
Penny
Hall (f) submits!!!
Goldie
Locks (f) wins with a LOCK BREAKER over Penny Hall (f)!!!
This
one is over before it really even began.
The fans pop huge as Goldie has her arm raised in victory. Penny limps out of the ring and to the
back. Goldie ends up staying out at
ringside to interact with the fans before finally heading to the back.
The
steel cage gets lowered and our next match is ready to get underway. First, the Muscles Trio make their way out to
a nice pop from the crowd. They have
their boxes of Booty O’s cereal. They enter
the cage through the open door. Next,
the Snake Pit make their way out. The fans
boo as Leiton, Tobias and Niven all make their way to the ring. They enter and the ref reminds us this is a
no time limit match and that all 3 members of a team must make their way out of
the ring for them to win the match. This
was a pretty close match but as we entered the 17th minute of the
match, Leiton had dropped Thorpe with a Pedigree Facebuster. Weasley was triple teamed and was effectively
taken out of the match. That left
McGuire pretty much on his own. Leiton
hit him with the Sling Blade and scored the 3 count. The Pit members then easily walked out the
cage door and that was the end of this one.
The fans did not like seeing the Pit win but they did what they had to
in order to secure the win. The fans
booed them as they made their way to the back.
The Muscles Trio all had to be helped from the ring.
It’s
time for our Main Event. This will be a
best of 3 falls match up for the World Title.
First, the challenger the Wicked Prophet makes his way out first. The fans boo the crap out of him but he doesn’t
care. He walks to the ring and enters
through the door. Next, the music
changes and the fans pop HUGE for the World Champion Jack Lumber as “TIMMMMMBERRRRR”
echoes from the speakers. Jack stops to
briefly interact with the fans in the Lumber Lounge before heading to the
ring. Prophet went ahead and locked the
door so Jack had to enter the cage by going over the top. He made it to the inside but stopped; standing
on the top turnbuckle holding the World Title high. He climbed down and handed the title to the
ref. The match began.
The
Wicked Prophet got the first fall after hitting the Baphomet Bruiser at the 9
minute mark.
Jack
Lumber got the second fall after an atomic drop from Jack sent Prophet flying
into the steel cage. Jack got the pin at
the 27 minute mark.
We
are down to the final fall. It is worth
noting that Jack Lumber is one of the longest reigning champs in the history of
HCW. He won the title on 4/18/21.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Jack
Lumber executes a ATOMIC DROP....
The Wicked
Prophet reverses ATOMIC DROP!
The Wicked
Prophet executes a USE BRASS KNUCKLES -- DRAW BLOOD....
Jack
Lumber absorbs the punishment.
The
Wicked Prophet is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Jack
Lumber kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Jack
Lumber executes a SPLASH FROM TOP ROPE....
The Wicked
Prophet absorbs the punishment.
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Wicked Prophet kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a YUKON BODYSLAM....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a BAPHOMET BRUISER....
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet executes a BAPTISM OF FIRE....
Jack
Lumber attempts to defend against BAPTISM OF FIRE but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a YUKON BODYSLAM....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a BAPTISM OF FIRE....
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a STIFF UPPERCUT....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a ELBOW SMASH....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a THE AXE....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
The
Wicked Prophet kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Jack
Lumber executes a STIFF UPPERCUT....
The Wicked
Prophet attempts to defend against STIFF UPPERCUT but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a TIMMMMMBEEERRRRR....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....
Jack
Lumber absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a KICK TO MIDSECTION....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a KICK TO MIDSECTION....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a UNRIGHTEOUS DOMINION....
=====
In the 14th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a ATOMIC DROP....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....
The
Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.
Jack
Lumber does not submit!
=====
In the 15th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a THE AXE....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....
=====
In the 16th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Jack
Lumber executes a STIFF UPPERCUT....
The Wicked
Prophet executes a UNRIGHTEOUS DOMINION....
The
Wicked Prophet is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Jack
Lumber was pinned by The Wicked Prophet!!!
The
Wicked Prophet is attempting to climb out of the cage!
The
Wicked Prophet climbs out of the cage!
The
Wicked Prophet wins with a Climb out of steel cage over Jack Lumber!!!
The
Wicked Prophet has done it. He wins the third
fall and become the NEW WORLD CHAMPION!
The cage is lifted and Jack rolls out of the ring. He makes his way to the back knowing that he
will be back in the title hunt and at some time, knows the title will be his
once again.
The
Wicked Prophet stands tall as most of the fans boo him but a very small
contingent (sounds like it was coming from around the Lumber Lounge) was
cheering him on. Prophet remained in the
ring holding the title high as the show came to a conclusion.
Thanks
for reading fans. We hoped you enjoyed
the show. We will be on hiatus for a
while but look to come back better than ever.
Stay tuned.
