Hello fans. Well, I really got to tell you that things are getting weird around here. Stuff is happening back stage and as we dig deeper into the craziness, we will be sure to report it here for you first.
As of the last newsletter, William Regal accepted the challenge from MW3 but put stipulations on his referee-performing duties. He came out to address the fans and had this to say: “Ok Sunshine (speaking to MW3), you wanted me in the ring, you’ve got it. I’m not sure how you found out about the matches still on my contract but that doesn’t matter now. What does matter is that as GM, I get to make matches and by the time our match happens, you will be nothing better than a tenderized piece of meat. Over the next few days, I will be putting your ass in matches. Now, don’t start whining about (in child talk) “I’m hurt and I can’t wrestle”. Sorry, but that won’t fly. So here’s what we are going to do. Here, in this very ring, in front of all these fans, I am putting you in a match against an opponent that you are very familiar with. In fact, I don’t believe this feud ever came to an end. Your match tonight will be against the monster UMAINGA (yes, it’s Umaga but Regal can’t pronounce it correctly). In fact, your very livlihood will be on the line here as this is a retirement match. The loser of this match MUST retire from wrestling for good…no referee duties, no wrestling for the competition, etc. You are done. That’s it. And don’t think that you could come back under another mask. That won’t happen either. No attacking outside in the parking lot for retaliation. You will be done. If you don’t come out, you will be automatically fired. So without further ado, let’s get this ball rolling.”
The monster Umaga came out first and did his typical garbled speak. He was shortly followed by MW3 who still has not recovered fully from his battle against Shawn Michaels. He limped pretty bad and was not really in shape to be wrestling here tonight especially against a monster like Umaga. Now, if it was someone like Barry Horowitz, he may do ok. I don’t think things will go MW3’s way tonight. Regal came down with mic in hand and had this to add: “Oh, by the way Sunshine, I will be the Ref in this match. Ring the bell.” The bell sounds and Umaga goes to work on poor MW3 beating him from pillar to post. Umaga hit the Samoan spike twice and MW3 was not moving. Regal then pulled out some brass knuckles and asked Umaga to pick up MW3. Regal ran against the ropes and as he swung to hit MW3 with the brass knuckles, MW3 dropped. Like a brick. Regal nailed Umaga in the face with the foreign object and Umaga dropped. Regal looked horrified. MW3 crawled over and covered Umaga. Regal had no choice but to make the count. Both men scowled at each other as Regal’s hand came down 3 times to signal the end of the match and the forced retirement of Umaga. MW3 started to laugh maniacally and Regal, still holding the brass knuckles, nailed MW3 in the face knocking him out. MW3 was helped from the ring and Regal just stewed.
In the ongoing saga between the Tag Team champions Super Warrior and Handsome G came to another boiling point when SW was walking around the back grumbling and speaking in some foreign Warrior talk (that’s how we’ll refer to if from now on) and Handsome G heard this and lost his mind. He attacked his partner (from behind since we know Handsome G doesn’t take the fight to anyone’s face) and kept yelling “WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!” After a minute, he cooled down and walked away. A few minutes later, SW got up, looked confused, and just wandered away wondering what happened. These two men have to put their titles on the line at the PPV against John Morrison and Christopher Daniels so it will be interesting to see if they can indeed work together.
And of course, the mess between Donnie B and the Negronomicon, I mean, Honkronomicon, just keeps getting more confusing. The word from the back is that at the PPV, both men put their “rides” on the line and will have to trash it themselves if they lose the match. Now, this reporter is totally confused at how this turn in their fued came about but I’m sure we will learn more as time progresses.
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