Saturday, April 20, 2019

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2019 #768 – Critical Mass PPV Day 3 (4/21) – Seattle, WA


Hello fans and welcome to Day 3 of our PPV extravaganza Critical Mass.  The sold out show in Seattle is packed to the rafters with fans from across the globe.

As a recap from Day 2:

Matches Malone stole a countout win over Texas Wildfire

Hayley Hailstone and Tempest Fortune were victorious over Sassy Maxine DeVito and Vanilla Zombie

The 6 Man Tag team champions the Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman took Tommy Lightning and the Smashers to a time limit draw.

The Masked Man won the men’s battle royal to get tonight’s shot at Anthony Boom and the US title and after removing his mask, he was revealed as the Wicked Prophet.

In the main event, Mean Jack Mason and Angry Jack Lawson stole the win over Scooter J and TNT and with that, became the NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.



So far for the weekend, we’ve also seen Apollo Gyze retain the Hardcore title; Drew the Canadian Love Machine become the new TV Champion and Violet Valkyrie become the NEW LADIES CHAMPION;


The show kicks off with some pyro and then GM’s Max McGillicutty and Master Bull make their way out. They thank the fans watching the show live on PPV as well as those who came out for 3 days of insane action.  Max reminds us that after tonight’s show, we will be taking a 2 week hiatus to allow for the talent to rest and recuperate and be ready for action down in Tacoma on May 12.  They are then interrupted on stage by the Ambassador and Dr. Red Fang.  The Ambassador says that a challenge was issued and no one is man enough to accept.  Master Bull tells him not to worry as they will find an opponent.  The Ambassador and Fang walk off.  Bull turns to Max and shrugs his shoulders.  One more “Thank you” to the fans and they leave the stage.


Our first match of the night is the Ladies Battle Royal with the winner getting a “Money in the Bank” title shot at Violet’s belt.  The women come out one by one and get into the ring.  Just before the bell rang, a surprise entrant came out and it is former Ladies Champion Ruby Rose.  She is booed as she makes her way to the ring. 


Lavender Gooms (f) was eliminated by Betsy Cummings (f) with SITOUT FACEBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 5 minutes
Felicia Cummings (f)
was eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with KNIFE EDGE CHOPS - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Sarona Reiher (f)
was eliminated by Kimberly Kiccsass (f) with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Betsy Cummings (f)
was eliminated by The British Crippler (f) with SHARPSHOOTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Kimberly Kiccsass (f)
was eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with KNIFE EDGE CHOPS - Throw Out Of Ring after 7 minutes


Lady Hemann then went on a tear taking out competitor after competitor.


The British Crippler (f)
was eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with SITOUT WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Leslie Grimes (f)
was eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with SITOUT WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Missy Chick (f)
was eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with KNIFE EDGE CHOPS - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Sassy Maxine DeVito (f)
was eliminated by Lady Hermann (f) with SPEAR - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Lady Hermann (f)
was eliminated by Vanilla Zombie (f) with FOREIGN OBJECT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Tempest Fortune (f)
was eliminated by Vanilla Zombie (f) with VERTICAL SUPLEX - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Vanilla Zombie (f)
was eliminated by Ruby Rose (f) with THE RED WEDDING FACEBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Hayley Hailstone (f)
was eliminated by Ruby Rose (f) with PENDULUM BACKBREAKER after 18 minutes

Ruby Rose (f) wins the 2019 Critical Mass Ladies Battle Royal!!!

The former Ladies champion grabs the briefcase and calls out Violet Valkyrie.  Violet makes an appearance on stage.  Ruby says she’s cashing in her contract right now.  Violet says she’d love to oblige but she’s heading to the airport as she has to hop a plane.  She’s going to celebrate her win at Disney World.  The fans pop.  Ruby begins hurling insults and then the final straw…she insults Soccer.  Violet said she’d accept and heads to the ring.  Looks like we have an impromptu match.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Violet Valkyrie (f) executes a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE....

Ruby Rose (f) executes a RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP....

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Violet Valkyrie (f) executes a SCISSORED ARMBAR....

Ruby Rose (f) attempts to defend against SCISSORED ARMBAR but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Violet Valkyrie (f) executes a SCISSORED ARMBAR....

Ruby Rose (f) executes a ROUNDHOUSE KICK....

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

Violet Valkyrie (f) executes a EXPLODER SUPLEX....

Ruby Rose (f) executes a ROUNDHOUSE KICK....

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Ruby Rose (f) executes a ROUNDHOUSE KICK....

Violet Valkyrie (f) reverses ROUNDHOUSE KICK!

Violet Valkyrie (f) executes a RUNNING DOUBLE AXE HANDLE....

Ruby Rose (f) attempts to defend against RUNNING DOUBLE AXE HANDLE but is unsuccessful.

Violet Valkyrie (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Ruby Rose (f) was pinned by Violet Valkyrie (f)!!!


Violet Valkyrie (f) wins with a RUNNING DOUBLE AXE HANDLE over Ruby Rose (f)!!!

Violet retains her title in a pretty short match.  She takes her title and leaves high fiving with the fans all the way to the back.  Ruby begins yelling at the ref calling shenanigans and the ref just shrugged his shoulders and left.  Ruby gets on the mic and says “If this is how you scumbags treat people, then I QUIT!”  She throws down the mic and leaves the ring.  The fans begin a chant “Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye”.  Ruby has a look of disgust on her face and walks up the ramp and out of the building.


We cut over to the office occupied by the GM’s and in walk Leon Teremoto. Leon demands to be on the show.  Master Bull tells him he is not medically cleared and therefore cannot wrestle for the title.  Leon says he understands about the title and wouldn’t want to fight for it injured but he will waive any medical liability if he is given a match tonight.  Max says that Dr. Red Fang is still looking for an opponent.  Leon says “SOLD” slamming his fist on the desk.  Leon says he’s going to go get ready.

While all of this was going on, the ring crew were setting up the steel cage for the match between Red Hot King Lucas Johnston and Ned Rhyerson III.  They got it completed pretty quickly.  First, Ned comes out and is booed.  The ring announcer begins to introduce him as Ned but he says that is not his name and wants to be introduced by his FULL name.  The ring announcer rolls his eyes and then introduces him as Nathan Edward David Rhyerson III.  Ned smirks and makes his way down to the ring as the fans boo the crap out of him.  He enters the cage and with a mic still in hand, calls out Lucas.  The music changes and out comes King Lucas. He is wearing his cape and crown and has his scepter in hand.  He high fives the fans as he makes his way down to the ring.  He removes his cape and crown and hands everything to the ringside attendant.  Lucas then begins to scale the cage.  He reaches the top and the fans pop for him.  He then climbs into the ring dropping the last couple of feet. 

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston executes a CHOKE BETWEEN ROPES AND CAGE....

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a PUNCH TO HEAD....

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston executes a Flying Dropkick....

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a KNEE LIFT....

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston executes a Arm Drag....

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a KNEE LIFT....

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a SIDE HEADLOCK....

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston attempts to defend against SIDE HEADLOCK but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston executes a Arm Drag....

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a FLYING DROPKICK....

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston executes a Quick Forearms....

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a USE BRASS KNUCKLES -- DRAW BLOOD....

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a ELBOW SMASH....

Lucas is wearing a crimson mask now.

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston executes a Flying Body Press....

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III executes a RUNNING POWER SLAM ONTO CAGE....

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston executes a USE BRASS KNUCKLES -- DRAW BLOOD....

Ned Rhyerson falls to the mat knocked out and is also wearing the crimson mask.

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III was pinned by "Red Hot" Lucas Johnston!!!


"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston is attempting to climb out of the cage!

Lucas looks down at Ned who is still out cold.

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston climbs out of the cage!

"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston wins with a Climb out of steel cage over "Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III!!!

King Lucas gets the win and the fans pop huge for him.  He cleans himself up and then interacts with the fans as he makes his way up the ramp.  A medic and two helpers come out from the back to check on Ned.  The cage is raised and they go check on Ned.  He’s stirring and sits up wondering what the hell just happened.  He’s helped to his feet and taken to the back.  The fans boo him.

The Ambassador and Dr. Red Fang are with Larry Morton.  The Ambassador says that either Leon is very brave or very stupid for accepting the match against Fang.  He tells Leon that this will be the biggest mistake of his career.

We head back to the ring for our next match which is announced as “No holds barred” as to avoid any medical liability if Leon gets hurt further.  First, Leon Termoto comes out and he’s limping and the fans give him a huge pop.  That seems to get lift his spirits.  His music is abruptly turned off and we hear “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYONE” and out comes Dr. Red Fang and his manager.  Fang snarls and growls at the fans as they make their way to the ring.  The Ambassador gets a mic and tells Leon he has one more chance to change his mind and leave now.  Leon responds by running the ropes and then goes flying through them right onto Fang and the Ambassador.  The fans popped HUGE and the match officially begins.  Fang controlled the match in this “street fight rules” brawl and the Ambassador was able to interfere without risk of disqualifying Fang. That went on for 12 minutes until after an attempted interference, Leon grabbed the Ambassador and knocked his and Fang’s heads together.  After that, Leon began controlling the pace of the match.


===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang executes a FLYING ELBOW RAM....

Leon Teremoto absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang executes a FLYING ELBOW RAM....

Leon Teremoto executes a HAIRPULL....

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Leon Teremoto executes a HEAD SMASH ON EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE AND

GORILLA HUG....

Dr. Red Fang absorbs the punishment.

Leon Teremoto is attempting a pin!!!

1...

The Ambassador puts Dr. Red Fang’s foot on the bottom rope to stop the count.

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang executes a FLYING ELBOW RAM....

Leon Teremoto executes a SPINEBUSTER....

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Leon Teremoto executes a HAIRPULL....

Dr. Red Fang attempts to defend against HAIRPULL but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Leon Teremoto executes a POWERBOMB....

Leon Teremoto attempts to go for a pin but the Ambassador grabs his foot preventing him from doing it.  Just then, Dr. Red Fang sneaks up from behind and hits Leon with a low blow before…

Dr. Red Fang executes a TRANSYLVANIAN PILEDRIVER....

Dr. Red Fang is attempting a pin (and has a handful of tights)!!!

1...2...3

Leon Teremoto was pinned by Dr. Red Fang!!!


Dr. Red Fang wins with a TRANSYLVANIAN PILEDRIVER over Leon Teremoto!!!


Dr. Red Fang steals a win and laughs maniacally along with the Ambassador for outsmarting Leon.  While they were gloating, they didn’t see Leon roll out of the ring and grab a steel chair.  Leon gets back into the ring and smashes Fang with the chair sending him out of the ring.  The fans pop.  Leon then corners the Ambassador who is quaking in his boots.  He tries to get away but Leon blocks all attempts.  Leon puts his hands up and drops the chair kicking it over to the Ambassador.  The Ambassador quickly makes an attempt to grab it but Leon steps on it and then grabs the Ambassador.  He calls it and hits a powerbomb in the middle of the ring.  The Ambassador is out.  The fans pop once again and Leon makes his way to the back with the fans cheering him on.

Backstage, Roderick Rothchild is with Clarkus Kentus and says that even though his manager is out of commission, it will not change the fact that tonight, he will make Magnum Kone utter those words “I Quit” and then he will have to leave HCW in disgrace.  Rothchild walks off.

Larry Morton is with the King of Cones Magnum Kone.  Magnum says that Leon did good taking out the Ambassador because now, it is him vs Roderick one on one and Roderick will be the one screaming “I Quit”.

We head to the ring for our next match.  First, Roderick Rothchild comes out to booing from the fans.  He doesn’t seem to care.  He gets right into the ring and begins flipping off the fans.  The chime from a bell sounds and out comes the King of Cones Magnum Kone.  Like normal, he gives out the ice cream treats to the kids at ringside before entering the ring.  The ref explains the rules saying that the only way a winner is declared is by one man yelling “I quit” into the microphone.  The ref says that the mic he has will be the only live one to prevent someone from using a pre-taped “I Quit” and stealing a win.  Roderick looks like he just had his hand caught in the cookie jar.  The match begins.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....

Roderick Rothchild executes a ROTHCHILD STUNNER....

Roderick Rothchild stands around gloating without following up on it. 

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Roderick Rothchild executes a ROTHCHILD STUNNER....and still stands there looking at Magnum.  He picks Kone up from the mat and Magnum pulls him over the top rope and they both tumble to the floor.  Magnum reverses a whip attempt by Roderick into the steel steps and Roderick ends up hitting the steps with great velocity.  Magnum picks him up and powerslams him onto a table (it does not break).  Magnum then rolls Roderick back into the ring and grabs the microphone and cord.

Magnum Kone straps in the WRAP MICROPHONE CORD AROUND FOE'S THROAT.


Roderick Rothchild struggles but eventually submits gurgling out “I QUIT”!!!


Magnum Kone wins with a WRAP MICROPHONE CORD AROUND FOE'S THROAT over Roderick Rothchild!!!

This one is over FAST with Magnum Kone getting the win.  The fans pop huge for him.  He stays and interacts with the fans spending more time with them than his match went.  Roderick is helped to the back all the while saying that he did not say I quit.

The Wicked Prophet is backstage with his manager ‘The Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher and Larry Morton.  Larry says that he and the fans are beside themselves with this betrayal.  Preacher tries to say something but the Wicked Prophet holds up a hand.

“This is not the final judgement. My followers know I am bound for glory- together we will be exalted. Every obstacle is a learning experience, and every setback proffers perspective. Now I am more determined than ever to rise and prove to everyone I am worthy. I will do whatever it takes. There is a beast in my soul. That beast is WRATH – and I am about to unleash it.”  Preacher smiles as the two walk off.  Larry stands there shaking his head.

Clarkus Kentus welcomes US Champion Anthony ‘Static’ Boom.  Boom says that he thought the Prophet was better than this and that Preacher is warping his mind.  Prophet may have turned his back on the fans but he has not and the fans will be supporting him in his title defense tonight.  Clarkus says “May the best man win” and Boom answers with “I will”.

We head to the ring for the next match.  It is announced as a no DQ/no countout match.  First, the Wicked Prophet makes his way out with his manager ‘the Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher.  Prophet gets a mixed reaction from the crowd as some still like him while others feel betrayed.  Prophet gets in the ring and climbs one of the turnbuckles.  The music changes and out comes the US Champion Anthony ‘Static’ Boom.  Boom gets on stage and at first we hear static over the loudspeakers followed by a “BOOM” from what sounds like a cannon.  Boom gets a pop as he heads down to the ring.  He gets into the ring and shakes his head at Prophet.  WP doesn’t take too kindly to the slight and attacks Boom before he can get his jacket off.  The ref rings the bell to start this.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a FOREARM SMASH....

The Wicked Prophet neutralizes FOREARM SMASH.

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK....

The Wicked Prophet absorbs the punishment.

Anthony 'Static' Boom straps in the FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK.

The Wicked Prophet does not submit!

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a LOU THESZ PRESS....

The Wicked Prophet neutralizes LOU THESZ PRESS.

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....

Anthony 'Static' Boom absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a FIREMAN'S CARRY....

The Wicked Prophet executes a EXILE FROM THE RING (Throw out of ring)....

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....

Anthony 'Static' Boom absorbs the punishment.

The Wicked Prophet is attempting a pin!!!

1...

Anthony 'Static' Boom kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet executes a BAPHOMET BRUISER....

Anthony 'Static' Boom reverses BAPHOMET BRUISER!

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a STATIC SHOCK....

The Wicked Prophet absorbs the punishment.

==== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a POWER CLOTHESLINE....

The Wicked Prophet absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a FOREARM SMASH....

The Wicked Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....

The Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.

Anthony 'Static' Boom does not submit!

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a STATIC SHOCK....

The Wicked Prophet attempts to defend against STATIC SHOCK but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a TILT A WHIRL ARM DRAG....

The Wicked Prophet executes a UNRIGHTEOUS DOMINION....

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a TILT A WHIRL ARM DRAG....

The Wicked Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet executes a BAPTISM OF FIRE....

Anthony 'Static' Boom absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a FOREARM SMASH....

The Wicked Prophet absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Anthony 'Static' Boom executes a SUNSET FLIP....but Matt Preacher gets involved and hits Anthony with a chair across the back.

The Wicked Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....

The Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.

Anthony 'Static' Boom submits!!!

The Wicked Prophet wins with a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH over Anthony 'Static' Boom!!!

The Wicked Prophet gets the win and becomes the NEW US CHAMPION!  The fans boo heavily as Preacher puts the title around the Prophet’s waist.  Leon Teremoto comes out and power walks down to the ring.  He gets right into Prophet’s face but then we hear over the loudspeakers “APOLLO GYZE DON’T APOLOGIZE” and out comes the Hardcore Champion.  He runs down and attacks Leon from behind.  Prophet looks on and then joins in the attack.  Anthony Boom tries to help Leon but gets overwhelmed also.  Apollo and Prophet hurl both Leon and Anthony out of the ring and Preacher raises both men’s arms in victory.  The fans are now solidly booing Preacher’s Posse and Apollo and Prophet mock the fans and then leave as a united team.  Crazy.

We head backstage with Clarkus Kentus who is with ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo and his manager Ms. Alexandria.  Gumbo says that after all this time being patient, the time has come for him to regain the World title.  The Banker, the little snot that he is, isn’t even good enough to be an interim champion much less a representative as the World Champion.  Tonight after he wins the belt, he’s heading to New Orleans to celebrate.  Gumbo and his manager leave.

Larry Morton introduces the World Champion the Banker who comes in with his manager Ruth Heartless.  Ruth reminds us that Ms. Alexandria is barred from ringside.  When Larry asks why she gets to be, the Banker turns and admonishes Larry for making such a stupid remark.  “She’s my manager you dolt, that is why.  Tonight, Gumbo, you’ll get to see why I am the champion and you are nothing more than an uneducated, Cajun-botom feeder and he’ll be swept away with the current that is the awesomeness of his talent.  Larry shakes his head as the Banker and Ruth leave.

It’s time for our main event.  Over the loudspeakers blare “Gumbo 7:30 means its suppa time, bitch” and out comes the Ragin Cajun and his manager Ms. Alexandria.  She hands him something and he makes his way down to the ring by himself.  He gets a decent pop from the crowd and he paces in the ring waiting for his opponent.  Next, the World Champion the Banker comes out with his manager Ruth Heartless and they are booed loudly.  He sneers at them as they make their way down to the ring.  He tries to enter but Gumbo is standing right there.  The Banker begins to complain that Gumbo won’t let him in the ring.  The ref directs Rad to the other side of the ring.  The Banker climbs the stairs but then jumps down when Rad takes one step towards him.  The Banker complains again.  Secretly, maybe he doesn’t want any part of the Cajun…maybe.  Finally, he gets into the ring.  He hands his briefcase to Ruth and the title to the ref who holds it high for the fans to see.  Gumbo takes a mic and tells the Banker that he didn’t want him trying to hide behind a DQ loss tonight so he petitioned the GM’s to make this one a no DQ/no countout match.  The Banker was livid.  He tried to complain but it did no good.  The ref called for the bell to ring and start the match.  The Banker immediately grabbed his briefcase and smashed it into the ribs of Gumbo taking the air out of him.  That allowed the Banker to stay one step ahead.  Gumbo came back with ferocity and the Banker started to get worried.  We join the match at the 12 minute mark.

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

The Banker executes a DEPOSIT DIVING DDT....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo neutralizes DEPOSIT DIVING DDT.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

The Banker reverses VOOODOO DRIVER!

Ruth Heartless executes a Point out weakness in foe....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.

The Banker is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

The Banker executes a FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BAYOU ROLL (GATOR ROLL)....

The Banker absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to retaliate against Ruth Heartless but she stays one step ahead!!!

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

The Banker executes a DEPOSIT DIVING DDT....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BAYOU ROLL (GATOR ROLL)....

The Banker absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK)....

The Banker reverses ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK) and then throws some powdered cayenne pepper into Gumbo’s eyes blinding him before hitting him in the ribs again with his briefcase and then…

The Banker executes a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER but is unsuccessful.

The Banker is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo was pinned by The Banker!!!

The Banker wins with a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER over "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!


The Banker gets the cheap win and retains the World Title.  The fans practically lose it throwing cups and stuff at the Banker in the ring.  He grabs his title and leaves with Ruth making their way up the ramp (and out of range from the garbage).  He stands on the stage and holds the title high mocking the fans as the show comes to an end.

Thank you for sticking with us and reading the newsletter.  We will be taking a break to allow the talent time to recuperate and time for the creative juices to flow once again.  More to come so stay tuned.

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2019 #767 – Critical Mass PPV Day 2 (4/20) – Seattle, WA


Hello fans and welcome to another installment of HCW’s wrestling newsletter.  Tonight, Critical Mass is in day 2 of our huge Pay Per View.  In a recap of yesterday’s event:

The 5th Column defeated the Snake Pit

Maximillian Redbeard and Superquake Ferguson defeated Shawn ‘Abs of Stone’ Austin and Perfect Pecs Stoddard in a falls count anywhere match

Nix Anderson defeated the Axe

Apollo Gyze retained the Hardcore title against the Wicked Prophet

Drew the Canadian Love Machine defeated Davis Hoffmeister to become the NEW TV champion

Violet Valkyrie defeated Ruby Rose to become the NEW Ladies Champion.

When asked what their plan was after winning the titles, Drew the Canadian Love Machine said he was trading in his old ‘love machine’ and buying a Tesla 3.  Violet Valkyrie was not so extravagant as she opted for a trip to Disneyworld.

It will be interesting to see what unfolds in today’s show.  Kicking things off will be an all-men battle royal to see who will go on to meet Anthony ‘Static’ Boom tomorrow for the US title.  Also on the show today:


Texas Wildfire vs Matches Malone

Hayley Hailstone & Tempest Fortune vs Vanilla Zombie & Maxine DeVito

6 Man tag team title match:  Steel Curtain & Biceps Bannerman vs the Smashers & Tommy Lightning

Main Event:  World Tag Team Title match:  Scooter J & TNT vs Angry Jack Lawson & Mean Jack Mason


Pyro goes off and our show begins with the battle royal.  Only those wrestlers on tonight’s show and the champions from last night are not on the card.  As the wrestlers begin to file out to the ring, the camera goes backstage and we see Hardcore Champion Apollo Gyze driving a forklift.  He gets yelled at for not being authorized for driving it and is told to shut it off.  He inches forward just a bit more before turning off the machine and then walks off.  The camera zooms in and we see he parked it in front of a door.  The name on the door…The Wicked Prophet.  The door tries to open but it is blocked.  A voice yells from behind the door but no one is around (plus Apollo walked off with the keys).  The bastard.

The wrestlers all make it out to the ring and the action begins.

"Bad News" Marvin Barnes was eliminated by Adam Jameson with SINGLE LEG TAKE DOWN - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
"Red Hot" Lucas Johnston was eliminated by Bishop Ripley with ENZUIGURI - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Jesse California
was eliminated by Baron Von Blood (Reinhardt Schmitt) with GAS CHAMBER (MODIFIED SLEEPER) - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Karl Braun
was eliminated by Muscles McGuire with HURRICANRANA - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Outback Oscar
was eliminated by Otto Ruthless with SWINGING NECKBREAKER - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Dr. Red Fang
was eliminated by "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Magnum Kone
was eliminated by Leiton Snake with DIVING SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes

The Masked Man makes his way down to the ring but remains on the outside watching.

Ovaltine Jackson was eliminated by Nix Anderson with THE NIX STRUT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes

Roderick Rothchild was eliminated by Muscles Thorpe with RUNNING SPLASH - Throw Out Of Ring after 5 minutes
Bob "Powder" Keg
was eliminated by Butch Huber with SPINNING SIDE SLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Superquake Ferguson
was eliminated by Regulator Mule with BOOT TO FACE - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Superstar Chic Monroe
was eliminated by Talon McFrost with THE YUKON CLOVERLEAF - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Oswald Zimmerman (The Iron Cross)
was eliminated by Muscles Thorpe with OVERHEAD SUPLEX - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Tobias Snake
was eliminated by Wilber Townsend with LIFTING SIDESLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 5 minutes
Regulator Mammoth
was eliminated by Shawn 'Abs of Stone' Austin with INVERTED DDT - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Wendell Hammerschmidt
was eliminated by The Crocodile Hunter with VERTICAL DROP DDT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Otto Ruthless
was eliminated by Mountain Man Junior Huber with MILITARY PRESS DROP - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Wilber Townsend
was eliminated by The Axe with FOREARM UPPERCUT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Regulator Mule
was eliminated by Travis 'Dark Storm' Ryzing with DARK STORM RYZING - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Talon McFrost
was eliminated by Leiton Snake with ENZUIGIRI - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Ivan Dragovich
was eliminated by Leiton Snake with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Ice Dagger
was eliminated by Leiton Snake with CURB STOMP - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Baron Von Blood (Reinhardt Schmitt) was eliminated by Leiton Snake with
BUCKLE BOMB - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Travis 'Dark Storm' Ryzing
was eliminated by Leiton Snake with ROPES - Throw Out Of Ring after 1 minutes
Adam Jameson
was eliminated by Leiton Snake with PEDIGREE FACEBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Bishop Ripley
was eliminated by Leiton Snake with DIVING SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Leiton Snake
was eliminated by Butch Huber with SPINNING SIDE SLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Niven Snake
was eliminated by Terra Ryzing with POSE FOR THE FANS - Throw Out Of Ring after 6 minutes
Billy Robbins
was eliminated by "Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III with ELBOW SMASH - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Muscles McGuire
was eliminated by Butch Huber with DISCUS LARIAT - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
Muscles Weasley
was eliminated by Ferb Huber with GATOR ROLL - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Ferb Huber
was eliminated by The Crocodile Hunter with ANKLE LOCK - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Perfect Pecs Stoddard
was eliminated by Butch Huber with EUROPEAN UPPERCUT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes

Just then, we hear some music play and the spotlights begin lighting up the rafters and we see…hey… it’s the Caped Crusader (for those who may not know, the Caped Crusader looks just like the ‘Adam West’ Batman) .  He repels down to the ring to a pop from the crowd.  The Caped Crusader begins to point at all the heels in the ring and begins to scold them telling them that they need to turn over a new leaf.  Just then, Ned Rhyerson III rushes over and begins pummeling the Caped Crusader before hurling him over the top rope.  He starts to laugh until…

"Big Money" Nathan Edward 'Ned' Rhyerson III was eliminated by Butch Huber with SPINNING SIDE SLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes

The Caped Crusader walks over and tells Ned that he should have listened.  CC then looks to the ceiling and hooks a wire to himself and he begins to zip back up to the rafters.  Thanks Caped Crusader!

Muscles Thorpe was eliminated by Mountain Man Junior Huber with LIFTING ARM TRIANGLE CHOKE - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
Mountain Man Junior Huber
was eliminated by Butch Huber with DISCUS LARIAT - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Butch Huber
was eliminated by The Crocodile Hunter with SHEERDROP BRAINBUSTER - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes and an assist by Junior Huber from the outside
Terra Ryzing
was eliminated by Shawn 'Abs of Stone' Austin with NECKBREAKER - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Shawn 'Abs of Stone' Austin
was eliminated by The Crocodile Hunter with BODYSLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
The Axe
was eliminated by The Crocodile Hunter with BODYSLAM - Throw Out Of Ring after 3 minutes
The Crocodile Hunter
was eliminated by Nix Anderson with THE NIX STRUT - Throw Out Of Ring after 4 minutes
"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo
was eliminated by Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister with THROW OUT OF RING after 1 minutes
Maximillian Redbeard
was eliminated by Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister with HOLLYWOOD CLUTCH (CAMEL) - Throw Out Of Ring after 1 minutes
Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister
was eliminated by Nix Anderson with SWINGING NECKBREAKER - Throw Out Of Ring after 2 minutes
Nix Anderson
was eliminated by The Masked Man with Hurl out of Ring after 19 minutes

The Masked Man wins the Battle Royal!!  The Masked man gets on the mic and introduces his new manager – ‘The Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher.  Preacher calls out GM Max McGillicutty and demands the contract for the title match tomorrow.  Max comes out but he tells the masked man that no unknown characters are going to be allowed to fight for the title.  Preacher begins to complain but the masked man steps in.  He says that he, at the advice of his new manager, took out Leon and it’s nothing personal, just business.  Max demands he removes his mask before he will be granted the title shot and it’s…the Wicked Prophet.  WHAT!!!!!!!  The fans are shocked and the Wicked Prophet leaves with his new manager.  Prophet takes his contract and leaves with Preacher while the fans look on in total shock.

Wow, that was a hell of a surprise.  It’s hard to believe that the Wicked Prophet has aligned himself with Matt Preacher.  We hope he has a reason for his change of attitude.

We head backstage where Clarkus Kentus is with Matches Malone.  Malone flicks matchsticks at both the cameraman and Clarkus.  Malone says that he’s going to embarrass Wildfire tonight and he’ll be nothing more than a smoldering ember.

Over with Larry Morton is Texas Wildfire.  The fans pop as he walks into shot. Wildfire says that Malone is nothing more than a bully and once he’s done with him, another mouth will be shut.

Pyro goes off and our first singles match of the night is ready to go. Matches Malone comes out to booing from the crowd.  He begins flicking matchsticks at the fans and smirks as he makes his way to the ring.  He gets in and begins to taunt the fans.  The music changes and the fans pop huge as Texas Wildfire makes his way out.  He interacts with the fans as he makes his way to the ring; never taking his eyes off of Malone.  He gets into the ring and begins to climb one of the turnbuckles but Malone runs over and yanks him off the turnbuckle and he lands on the mat.  Wildfire gets up and goes after Matches but Malone bails out of the ring.  He hangs out on the outside even after the bell is rung but finally gets into the ring so the match can start.  The two fought tooth and nail but it was Malone who had the upper hand.  Wildfire got a near fall after hitting a DDT but Malone got his foot on the bottom rope at the last moment.  At one point, Malone hit a turnbuckle smash on Wildfire but Wildfire reciprocated doing the exact same move on Malone and Matches acted like his head was going to fall off his shoulders.  Wildfire then took control of the match demolishing Matches.  At the 19 minute mark, Wildfire hit a superplex from the top rope.  It took a moment but he finally made the cover but Malone somehow got his shoulder up at the last second.  TW picked Malone up and called for a DDT but Malone threw him out of the ring.  Malone followed him out and pulled out a pair of handcuffs and locked TW to the ringside barrier.  TW was trapped.  Malone rolled back in and stood back as a helpless Wildfire got counted out.  Malone robs TW of a victory tonight and he laughs as Wildfire can only look on.  Malone leaves while the ref tries to get him free.  Once free from the handcuff, TW heads to the back.  (20 min)

We go backstage with Larry Morton and he is with Hayley Hailstone and Tempest Fortune.  Hayley says she is happy to be on the grand stage and couldn’t think of a better partner than Tempest.  Tempest calls Hayley an uncrowned champion and says good things will happen for her.  Tempest says that Vanilla Zombie and Maxine DeVito think they’re all that but tonight, she and Hayley show why they will be the better team.  Hayley smiles and says good things come to those who wait.

Clarkus Kentus is with Vanilla Zombie, Maxine DeVito and ‘the Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher.  Preacher said the world has been turned on its ear with him signing Apollo Gyze and (much to the fans dismay) the Wicked Prophet.  Preacher says that those goody two shoes will never amount to a hill of beans and it will be Vanilla and Maxine that will be the future of the sport.

Our next match is ready to go and Hayley Hailstone and Tempest Fortune come out to a loud pop from the crowd.  They shake hands with the fans as they make their way down to ringside.  They get in the ring and begin psyching up the crowd until the music changed and out comes ‘the Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher and he introduces Vanilla Zombie and ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito.  The two ladies come out and the fans go sour on them.  Maxine glares at (the stupidity of) the fans and she and Vanilla walk down to the ring with Preacher following behind.  The ladies get in the ring and Maxine starts mouthing off to Hayley.   Hayley slugs Maxine knocking her from the ring.  Vanilla stands there with her head cocked staring at Tempest (in a creepy way).  Preacher leaves the ring and the bell rings starting this one off.  Maxine runs to the other side of the ring and pulls Tempest off the apron.  The two slug it out while the match takes place in the ring.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a ROUNDHOUSE KICK....

Vanilla Zombie (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Vanilla Zombie (f) executes a ATOMIC DROP....

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a LIFTING REVERSE S.T.O.....

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a LOVELACE CHOKER NECKBREAKER....

Vanilla Zombie (f) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

Vanilla Zombie (f) executes a VERTICAL SUPLEX....

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a TORNADO D.D.T.....

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Vanilla Zombie (f) executes a HEADBUTT....

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a FLIRTING WITH DANGER KNEE....

Hayley Hailstone (f) tags out to Tempest Fortune (f)

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

Vanilla Zombie (f) executes a VERTICAL SUPLEX....

Tempest Fortune (f) executes a SPINNING HEEL KICK....

Tempest Fortune (f) tags out to Hayley Hailstone (f) and then goes back to brawling with Maxine

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER....

Vanilla Zombie (f) absorbs the punishment.

Hayley Hailstone (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Vanilla Zombie (f) was pinned by Hayley Hailstone (f)!!!

Hayley Hailstone (f) wins with a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER over Vanilla Zombie (f)!!!

Maxine pulls Vanilla out of the ring and they head to the back.  Preacher is speechless and follows them asking “What the hell just happened?”  (7 min)

Larry Morton is joined backstage by Tommy Lighting and the Smashers.  Tommy says that the Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman have been making them look like fools long enough and tonight, when they take the 6 Man titles, they will be the ones laughing last.

Clarkus Kentus is with the 6 Man Tag Team Champions the Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman.  Biceps calls Tommy a crybaby for not getting what he feels the universe owes him.  Starbuck Steel says that he and Buzz had singles matches on Monday but they are much better as a tag team for sure.  Buzz laughs and says “Fo Sho”.  Buzz says that he’s surprised the Smashers have put up with Tommy’s crap this long and it’s only a matter of time before they turn on him.  Starbuck adds that they are not giving up the titles until a team worthy enough comes along but he knows it’s not their opponents tonight.  Buzz and Biceps lean in and say “Word” and the three of them head to the ring.

Tommy Lightning and the Smashers come out to booing from the crowd.  All three flip off the fans which only incites them all the more.  They get into the ring and mock the fans drawing more and more heat.  The fans do a 180 and pop huge as the champs the Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman make their way out to the ring. They take time to shake hands with the fans and make their way down to the ring.  The Smasher act like they want to attack but its Tommy who holds them back.  Buzz looks at him suspiciously.   The bell rings and the match is a go.  For the first 12 minutes of the match, the teams were pretty even but after that point, Tommy got injured and became a non-factor for the next 5 minutes.  All 6 men took turns beating the hell out of each other but it was the champs who owned the match till its end.  As the time limit ran out, it was apparent that there wasn’t going to be a pin attempt so the champs took turns beating the snot out of Tommy.  Tommy locked Buzz up with a headlock on Buzz but Buzz nailed the Buzzer.  He tagged out to Starbuck who got locked up in his own headlock but he tagged right out to Biceps.  Tommy locked him up too with a headlock but Biceps dropped him with a Full Nelson & Slam.  The bell then rang bringing this one to a time limit draw.   The Smashers pulled Tommy from the ring and limped to the back.  The champs retain their belts via a draw decision.  They stayed and interacted with the fans before leaving. (30 min time limit draw)

We have one match left on the card and it is our main event for the evening.  Before we head to the ring, Clarkus Kentus introduces the challengers – Mean Jack Mason and Angry Jack Lawson.  Mean Jack says that Scooter J and TNT had a good laugh at their expense and asked Clarkus if they have a secret desire to dress in drag.  Angry Jack (who is angry all the time) says he wants to go to the ring and beat the living hell out of them.  Mean Jack agrees and the two head to the ring.

Larry Morton introduces the Tag Team Champions Scooter J and TNT.  Scooter J laughs wondering if the Jack’s got their feelings hurt.  TNT says that it’s not only their feelings that will be hurt.  He says that they have been successful in defending the belts and the Jacks will only be a stepping stone for them.  Scooter J goes all serious and says that the Jacks get this one shot and they better make it count but it won’t matter as they, as the champs, “have this”.  The champs head to the ring.

It’s time for our main event.  First, the Jacks comes out and the booing they get is really loud.  To make matters worse, they grab signs from the fans (random) and begin tearing them apart and throwing the pieces into the crowd.  They laugh.  They get in the ring and remove their jackets and await their opponents.  The music changes and out comes the World Tag Team champions Scooter J and TNT.  They high five with the fans and then make their way to the ring but stop short of entering.  Scooter J and TNT each grab a chair and enter the ring armed.  The Jacks bail.  Scooter J and TNT each took turns climbing separate turnbuckles to pops from the fans and the other stood guard to ensure no sneak attacks happened.  They got rid of the chairs and handed the belts to the ref.  The Jacks re-entered the ring and this one is ready to go.  The ref announces that the match will have a 60 minute time limit.  For the first part of the match, both teams held the advantage at times with one gaining the upper hand (normally by some illegal move from both teams).  About 11 minutes in, the champs were going strong until Scooter J and TNT were taken out of the ring and both got introduced the hard way into the steel posts.  Both men were bloodied up.  That didn’t hold them down for long though as a superkick from Scooter J to Mean Jack who was on the apron sent him flying and crashing through the Spanish announce table.  They held the advantage until 38 minutes into the match when both Jacks (by now are bloodied also) hit low blows on SJ and TNT (the ref got bumped and didn’t see it).  The ref got back to his feet.   

===== In the 38th minute of the match: ====

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) executes a JAW JACKER....

Angry Jack Lawson executes a ANGRY CHOKESLAM.... He does not make a cover.

===== In the 39th minute of the match: =====

Mean Jack Mason executes a OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX....

Angry Jack Lawson executes a SHOVE DOWN....

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) absorbs the punishment.

Double teaming ends.

===== In the 40th minute of the match: =====

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) executes a VICIOUS EYE RAKE....

Angry Jack Lawson executes a STAND ON THROAT....

===== In the 41st minute of the match: =====

Angry Jack Lawson executes a RAM INTO RINGPOST....TNT is wearing the crimson mask now.

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) attempts to defend against RAM INTO RINGPOST but is unsuccessful.

Angry Jack Lawson is attempting a pin!!!

1...

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 42nd minute of the match: =====

Mean Jack Mason rushes over and hits a clothesline on Scooter J taking them both out to the floor.

Angry Jack Lawson executes a ANGRY CHOKESLAM....

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) attempts to defend against ANGRY CHOKESLAM but is unsuccessful.

Angry Jack Lawson is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) was pinned by Angry Jack Lawson!!!

Angry Jack Lawson wins with a ANGRY CHOKESLAM over TNT (Templeton N. Townsend)!!!

HOLY CRAP!  Angry Jack and Mean Jack have just become the NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!  The fans are pissed.  Mean Jack yells at the ref to give them their titles and to raise their arms in victory.  The fans get so riled up they being throwing stuff at them in the ring and garbage begins to pile up.  They don’t care.  They are the champs and they flip off the fans and leave as the show comes to an end.

Thank you for reading.  Tomorrow is the final day of our PPV extravaganza and we don’t want you to miss out so stay tuned.