Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. Tonight, we bring you Day of the Critical Mass PPV extravaganza. Tonight’s lineup includes 3 title matches, an I Quit match and a specialty rules match. Pyro goes off as the show kicks off the action. GM Max McGillicutty comes out and thanks the fans for attending and says this weekends’ event is dedicated to Jeff Meyers, former co-owner of HCW. He leaves so the show can begin.
The show begins
with Madman Mason coming out and storms down to the ring amidst the booing and
heckling from the crowd. He flips them
off effortlessly. He gets on the mic and
calls tonight’s match a waste of time and he has better things to do. The music changes and out comes his opponent
Kroman the Barbarian. Kroman gets on the
mic and says that the crowd here and watching from home deserve the chance to
see Mason get his ass kicked all over the place. Mason then stipulates that their match should
be a ‘Falls Count Anywhere’ match.
Kroman agrees and rushes down to the ring. He enters and immediately begins brawling
with Mason as the bell rings starting off this match. The match started off Strong but Mason got
some cheap shots in early and that gave him the slight advantage for the
match. The two gave it their all. We join the match at the 21 minute mark.
=====
In the 21st minute of the match: =====
Madman
Mason rolled DC
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled OC.
Kroman the
Barbarian executes a Diving Lariat....
Madman
Mason attempts to defend against Diving Lariat but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 22nd minute of the match: =====
Madman
Mason rolled DC
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled OC.
Kroman the
Barbarian executes a Backbreaker....
Madman
Mason attempts to defend against Backbreaker but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 23rd minute of the match: =====
Madman
Mason rolled DC
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Madman
Mason rolled DC
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Madman
Mason rolled DC
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Madman
Mason rolled DC
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled OC.
Kroman the
Barbarian executes a Leg Drop....
Madman
Mason neutralizes Leg Drop.
=====
In the 24th minute of the match: =====
Madman
Mason rolled DC
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled OC.
Kroman the
Barbarian executes a Backbreaker....
Madman
Mason absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 25th minute of the match: =====
Madman
Mason rolled OC.
Kroman the
Barbarian rolled DC
Madman
Mason executes a SHORT CLOTHESLINE....
Kroman the
Barbarian attempts to defend against SHORT CLOTHESLINE but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 26th minute of the match: =====
Madman
Mason rolled OC.
Kroman
the Barbarian rolled DC
Madman
Mason executes a GERMAN SUPLEX THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE....
Kroman the
Barbarian absorbs the punishment.
Madman
Mason is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Kroman
the Barbarian was pinned by Madman Mason!!!
Madman Mason wins with a GERMAN SUPLEX
over Kroman the Barbarian!!!
Madman Mason gets
the win and the fans are not happy.
Mason flips them off and sets up a table in the ring. He drags Kroman to the ring and starts to set
up a power bomb. He gets him up but
Kroman struggles out of it and drops to the mat. He rushes to the other side of the ring
bouncing off the ropes just as Mason turns around and Kroman spears Mason
through the table. The fans pop for
Kroman who may have hurt himself on that move.
He climbs the turnbuckle with his arms raised and the fans pop. Mason rolls out of the ring and limps to the
back. Kroman follows moments later.
We go backstage
with Missy Chick. Missy says that
tonight, the Hailstorm she thought was coming will be proven to be nothing more
than a mild breeze and she will defeat Hayley to earn the spot at the Ladies
title on night 3. Hayley walks in to the
picture and the two almost come to blows.
They are told to keep it in the ring tonight. Hayley leaves with some departing words and
says that Missy will be the Quitter tonight.
Missy gets all pouty.
We head to the
ring for our next match. The Banker
comes out first accompanied by his manager Ruth Heartless. The fans give him a mixed reaction as
tonight’s bout is heel vs heel. He gets
into the ring and hands the briefcase to Ruth.
The music changes and out comes the TV Champion Azrael with his manager
the Ambassador. The fans boo him but
Azrael ignores them. He enters the ring
with a looming presence. The Banker gets
on the mic. “Listen, you have your
manager who cheats and, well, I’ve been known to break the rules myself so
instead of sending our managers to the back, how about we just make this a no
DQ match. That way, if I cheat to win,
you can’t complain and vice a versa.
What do you say?” The Ambassador
spoke with his charge and they agreed to the stipulation. Just as the bell rang and the Banker was
helping Ruth out of the ring, the Ambassador ran over and smacked the Banker
right between the eyes with his lead cane.
Dazed, the Banker stumbled back in and Azrael rolled him up for the
1-2-3. Azrael gets the win in under 60 seconds.
This was a major travesty. The
Ambassador hands Azrael his title and the two get ready to leave laughing all
the while. The Banker gets on the mic
and says “Well played. You beat me at my own game. However, this ain’t over. Get your sorry ass back in this ring and
defend that title. This time, how about
ECW rules?” Azrael immediately agreed
against the Ambassador’s wishes and we now have a rematch for the title.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Azrael
rolled OC.
The Banker
rolled OC.
Azrael
executes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....
The Banker
executes a DEPOSIT DIVING DDT....
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Azrael
rolled DC
The Banker
rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Azrael rolled
DC
The Banker
rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Azrael
rolled DC
The Banker
rolled OC.
The Banker
executes a TAX AUDIT TURNBUCKLE THRUST....
Azrael
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Azrael
rolled DC
The Banker rolled
DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Azrael
rolled OC.
The Banker
rolled OC.
Azrael
executes a FLYING HEAD SCISSORS....
The Banker
executes a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
rolled OC.
The Banker
rolled OC.
Azrael
executes a THE DARKNESS....
The Banker
executes a CREDIT CHECK CHOP....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
rolled DC
The Banker
rolled OC.
The Banker
executes a CREDIT CHECK CHOP....
Azrael
absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
rolled OC.
The Banker
rolled OC.
Azrael
executes a LEG DROP....
The Banker
executes a ATM FEE ARMBAR....
The
Banker straps in the ATM FEE ARMBAR.
Azrael
does not submit!
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Azrael
rolled DC
The Banker
rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
Azrael
rolled OC.
The Banker
rolled DC
Azrael
executes a SMASH WITH KITCHEN SINK AND A SPEAR....
The Banker
absorbs the punishment.
Azrael
is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
The
Banker was pinned by Azrael!!!
Azrael
wins with a SPEAR over The Banker!!!
Azrael gets the
win for a second time in one evening.
The TV Champion snatches his title from the ref and leaves with the
Ambassador. Ruth Heartless goes into the
ring to help the Banker to his feet. He
mutters “I should have seen that coming” and tries to shake off the
cobwebs. “Next time” he mutters, “Next
Time”. He and Ruth head to the back.
Jack Lumber is
backstage and says he is excited about his match against Wilber Townsend. He knows he has the fans on his side and the
Wrestling Universe willing, he walks out with the gold.
Our next match is
to see who will go on to meet Korbi Kong for the Ladies Title on Day 3. First, Missy Chick comes out and is
booed. She yells back at the fans and
gets into the ring. The music changes
and Hayley’s music plays but she doesn’t come out. Missy starts to laugh and says that she will
win by default because Hayley is a coward.
The lights flicker for a moment and then we see Hayley standing in the
ring. Missy freaks out and bails out of
the ring. Eventually, she makes it back
in and our I Quit match can begin.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Missy Chick
(f) rolled DC
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled DC
Both Women
in rolled DC
Missy Chick
(f) rolled OC.
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled OC.
Missy
Chick (f) executes a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a WHAT THE HAIL?....
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Missy Chick
(f) rolled OC.
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled OC.
Missy
Chick (f) executes a EXPLODER SUPLEX....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER....
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Missy Chick
(f) rolled OC.
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled OC.
Missy
Chick (f) executes a DIVING BACK ELBOW....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER....
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Missy Chick
(f) rolled DC
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled DC
Both Women
in rolled DC
Missy Chick
(f) rolled DC
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled OC.
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a BRUTAL BACKBREAKER....
Missy
Chick (f) reverses BRUTAL BACKBREAKER!
Missy
Chick (f) executes a DIVING BACK ELBOW....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) reverses DIVING BACK ELBOW!
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a RUNNING LARIAT....
Missy
Chick (f) reverses RUNNING LARIAT!
Missy
Chick (f) executes a RUNNING ONE-HANDED BULLDOG....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) neutralizes RUNNING ONE-HANDED BULLDOG.
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Missy Chick
(f) rolled OC.
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled OC.
Missy
Chick (f) executes a DIVING BACK ELBOW....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER....
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Missy Chick
(f) rolled OC/TT
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled DC
Missy
Chick (f) executes a RUNNING ONE-HANDED BULLDOG....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) reverses RUNNING ONE-HANDED BULLDOG!
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER....
Missy
Chick (f) attempts to defend against DEATH VALLEY DRIVER but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Missy Chick
(f) rolled OC.
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) rolled OC.
Missy
Chick (f) executes a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) executes a TAPED THUMB TO ESOPHAGUS....
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) straps in the TAPED THUMB TO ESOPHAGUS.
Missy
Chick (f) submits!!!
Hayley
Hailstorm (f) wins with a TAPED THUMB TO ESOPHAGUS over Missy Chick (f)!!!
Hayley Hailstorm
gets the win and she goes on to day 3 to meet Korbi Kong for the Ladies
Title. Hayley gets a nice pop as she
heads to the back.
Backstage, we are
with US Champion Wilber Townsend. He
goes on about how the buzzards will feast on the bones and flesh of Jack Lumber
and all his fans. Wilber says tonight he
retains.
Our next match is
ready to go. The loudspeakers blare out “TIMMMBERRRRR”
and out comes the flannel wearing lumberjack Jack Lumber. The pop he gets is by far the loudest of the
night and we can barely hear anything over the noise. Jack makes his way to the Lumber Lounge to
shake hands with fans and then proceeds to the ring. He gets into the ring and climbs the
turnbuckle. The pop continues. He steps down and waits. The lights dim and a single lantern casts an
eerie shadow as Wilber Townsend makes his way to the ring. The fans boo but I think the creepy music has
them second guessing their choices.
Wilber gets into the ring and extinguishes the lantern as the lights
come up. He hands the title to the ref
and stares at Jack. The bell rings and
this one is underway.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a KNEE LIFT....
Wilber
Townsend absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a CHOP TO CHEST....
Wilber
Townsend absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a BEARHUG....
Wilber
Townsend reverses BEARHUG!
Wilber
Townsend executes a MOUNTED ELBOW SMASHES....
Jack
Lumber attempts to defend against MOUNTED ELBOW SMASHES but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Wilber
Townsend executes a SHORTARM CLOTHESLINE....
Jack
Lumber executes a ATOMIC DROP....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a YUKON BODYSLAM....
Wilber
Townsend neutralizes YUKON BODYSLAM.
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a CHOP TO CHEST....
Wilber
Townsend absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Wilber
Townsend hits the ropes but runs into ....
Jack
Lumber executes a KICK TO MIDSECTION....
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Wilber
Townsend kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a YUKON BODYSLAM....
Wilber
Townsend absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a KICK TO MIDSECTION....
Wilber
Townsend attempts to defend against KICK TO MIDSECTION but is unsuccessful.
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Wilber
Townsend kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Wilber
Townsend executes a REAR CHINLOCK....
Jack
Lumber executes a SPEAR....
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Wilber
Townsend executes a LIFTING FOREARM SMASH....
Wilber
Townsend scores 7 points.
Jack
Lumber absorbs the punishment.
Jack
Lumber scores 0 points.
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a YUKON BODYSLAM....
Wilber
Townsend attempts to defend against YUKON BODYSLAM but is unsuccessful.
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Wilber
Townsend kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
Wilber
Townsend executes a LIFTING SIDESLAM....
Jack
Lumber executes a ELBOW SMASH....
Wilber
Townsend is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Jack
Lumber kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 14th minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a YUKON BODYSLAM....
Wilber
Townsend attempts to defend against YUKON BODYSLAM but is unsuccessful.
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Wilber
Townsend kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 15th minute of the match: =====
Jack
Lumber executes a ATOMIC DROP....
Wilber
Townsend reverses ATOMIC DROP!
Wilber
Townsend executes a GO TO SLEEP....
Jack
Lumber attempts to defend against GO TO SLEEP but is unsuccessful.
=====
In the 16th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
executes a KICK TO MIDSECTION....
Wilber
Townsend attempts to defend against KICK TO MIDSECTION but is unsuccessful.
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Wilber
Townsend kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 17th minute of the match: =====
Jack Lumber
executes a KICK TO MIDSECTION and TIMMMBERRRRR....
Wilber
Townsend attempts to defend against the moves but is unsuccessful.
Jack
Lumber is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Wilber
Townsend was pinned by Jack Lumber!!!
Jack
Lumber wins with a KICK TO MIDSECTION and TIMMMBERRR over Wilber Townsend!!!
Jack Lumber gets
the win and becomes the NEW US CHAMPION!!!
The fans pop for their hero and once again, the deafening crowd drowns
anything and everything out. Jack
celebrates with the fans at ringside while Wilber makes his way to the back.
While Jack is
celebrating, we are shown a quick recap on the Tag Team title situation. With the passing of Buzz Steel/Jeff Meyers,
Starbuck opted to vacate the belts rather than find a new tag team partner. We see all the advances which brings us to
our Main event for the evening. The
Snake Pit (Niven and Tobias Snake) (who eliminated the 5th Column to
get to this point) taking on the Regulators – Mule and Mammoth with the winners
taking home the tag team titles. After
Jack had left (actually, he went to hang out in the Lumber Lounge), both teams
made their way out and our final match of the night is getting ready to begin.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Tobias
Snake executes a SNAP ELBOW DROP....
Regulator
Mule executes a ELBOW SMASH....
Tobias
Snake tags out to Niven Snake
Regulator
Mule tags out to Regulator Mammoth
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Niven
Snake executes a DEADLIFT POWERBOMB....
Regulator
Mammoth neutralizes DEADLIFT POWERBOMB.
Regulator
Mammoth tags out to Regulator Mule
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule executes a REGULATOR ROUNDHOUSE....
Niven
Snake attempts to defend against REGULATOR ROUNDHOUSE but is unsuccessful.
Niven Snake
tags out to Tobias Snake
Regulator
Mule tags out to Regulator Mammoth
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule, Regulator Mammoth double teaming
for 3 rounds.
Regulator
Mule executes a ELBOW SMASH....
Regulator
Mammoth executes a RAM INTO TURNBUCKLE....
Tobias
Snake neutralizes Double Teaming..
Regulator
Mule, Regulator Mammoth are double teaming for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Regulator
Mule executes a DDT....
Regulator
Mammoth is a defensive (DC) double teamer.
Regulator
Mammoth does nothing for the round.
Tobias
Snake executes a LARIAT....
Regulator
Mule, Regulator Mammoth are double teaming for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule is a offensive (OC) double teamer.
Regulator
Mule executes a REGULATOR ROUNDHOUSE....
Regulator
Mammoth does nothing for the round.
Tobias
Snake executes a LARIAT....
Double
teaming ends.
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mammoth executes a BOOT TO FACE....
Tobias
Snake absorbs the punishment.
Regulator
Mammoth is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Tobias
Snake kicks out of the pin!
Regulator
Mammoth tags out to Regulator Mule
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule executes a BODY SLAM....
Tobias
Snake absorbs the punishment.
Tobias
Snake tags out to Niven Snake
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
Everyone in
the ring for one round!!!
Tobias
Snake executes a RUNNING CROSSBODY....
Niven
Snake executes a DEADLIFT POWERBOMB....
Regulator
Mule executes a INVERTED SUPERPLEX....
Regulator
Mammoth executes a REGULATOR ROUNDHOUSE....
Double
teaming ends.
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule, Regulator Mammoth double teaming
for 3 rounds.
Regulator
Mule executes a INVERTED SUPERPLEX....
Regulator
Mammoth executes a BOOT TO FACE....
Niven
Snake reverses Double Teaming.!
Regulator
Mule does nothing for the round.
Regulator
Mammoth does nothing for the round.
Niven
Snake executes a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM....
Regulator
Mule, Regulator Mammoth are double teaming for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule does nothing for the round.
Regulator
Mammoth executes a INVERTED SUPERPLEX....
Niven
Snake executes a DRIVE BY APRON DROPKICK....
Regulator
Mule, Regulator Mammoth are double teaming for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mule executes a BODY SLAM....
Regulator
Mammoth executes a BOOT TO FACE....
Niven
Snake attempts to defend against Double Teaming. but is unsuccessful.
Double
teaming ends.
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
Niven
Snake executes a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM....
Regulator
Mule executes a INVERTED SUPERPLEX....
Niven Snake
tags out to Tobias Snake
Regulator
Mule tags out to Regulator Mammoth
=====
In the 14th minute of the match: =====
Tobias
Snake, Niven Snake double teaming for 1
rounds.
Tobias
Snake executes a NECK DROP ON TOP ROPE....
Niven
Snake executes a CORNER CLOTHESLINES....
Regulator
Mammoth neutralizes Double Teaming..
Double
teaming ends.
=====
In the 15th minute of the match: =====
Regulator
Mammoth executes a DDT....
Tobias
Snake neutralizes DDT.
Regulator
Mammoth tags out to Regulator Mule
===== In
the 16th minute of the match: =====
Tobias
Snake executes a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPERPLEX....
Regulator
Mule executes a INVERTED SUPERPLEX....
Tobias
Snake tags out to Niven Snake
=====
In the 17th minute of the match: =====
Just then,
the 5th Column members Baron Von Blood and Oswald Zimmerman rush out
and attack the Snake Pit. Tobias is
thrown into the ringside barricade and Niven is pummeled with a steel chair
before being rolled back into the ring.
Regulator
Mule executes a ELBOW SMASH....
Niven Snake
absorbs the punishment.
Regulator
Mule is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Niven
Snake was pinned by Regulator Mule!!!
Regulator
Mule wins with a ELBOW SMASH over Niven Snake!!!
The winners of the
match and the NEW World Tag Team Champions are the Regulators. They don’t seem to mind how they won the
belts; just that they won them. The fans
were somewhat indifferent on their feelings to how this ended. I would not be surprised to see the Pit get a
rematch in the future.
Thanks for
reading. That is the end of Day 1. Tomorrow will come soon enough so stay tuned.
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