HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 05.06

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.   Today’s issue starts right off with Velvet Sky and Southern Belle heading down to the ring.  Belle says Velvet Sky, an original member of the Beautiful People is back where she belongs.  Velvet says she’s happy to be back and now she’s back in the Beautiful People where she belongs.  Belle says that Fusion Valentine never belonged in the Beautiful People.  She always seemed awkward and tended to hot the limelight.  Angelina Love and Madison Rayne come out and welcome Velvet back into the fold.  The four of them leave together.

Our first match of the night has the Nigerian Wraith taking on Tyler Breeze.  This one only went 5 minutes but came to a quick end after Breeze viciously bodyslammed the Wraith on the concrete ground and he got counted out. 

In the back, the Desperados (El Chango and the Stache) meet up with Master Bull. They ask if they are in action tonight and Bull says that they are but it will be singles action.  Stache and Chango appear to be ok with it.

The next match is the Stache w/El Chango taking on Solomon Crowe w/ Kalisto.  After much interference, Crowe gets the win after hitting a Leap Frog Lariat.  El Chango was pissed off enough that he challenged Kalisto to a match right then and there.  Kalisto agreed.  In a very close match, this one goes the distance and ends in a 30 minute time limit draw.  After the match, Solomon attacks El Chango and Kalisto beats down the Stache.  Master Bull comes out and says that these two will meet again in the main event of tonight’s show.

In the back, Adam Rose meets up with Abyss and again asks if they can form a team.  Abyss said he thought about it and says that he is ok with doing it.  Abyss says they can try out against a tag team but Rose says that he can’t tonight as he is getting a title shot and he’s not giving that up.   Rose walks away and Abyss contemplates if this was the right move for him.

We head back to the ring for our title match with North American Champion Daniel Bryan defending the title against Adam Rose.  Rose immediately calls for Abyss to come down but the Omegatron comes on and Abyss is shown talking to GM Hulk Hogan so he doesn’t hear Adam’s call.  Daniel Bryan takes the kid to school and in 5 minutes, traps Adam in the Yes Lock and gets him to tap out.  Daniel Bryan retains.  Adam Rose, pissed off, stomps to the back.

Our next match is up and it is Sami Zayn taking on Band member The Axe.  This was a very hard fought match that saw The Axe going toe to toe with his opponent for a good 12 solid minutes.  After that, Axe’s tag team partner Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon came down hoping to cause a distraction but Zayn was not fazed by it at all.   Dirk tried to interfere in the match and ended up getting sent away from ringside.  Zayn then hits the Axe with a Slam Piledriver and gets the 1-2-3.  Sami Zayn gets the win.  After the match, Axe tried to attack him but Zayn left the ring before Axe could do any damage.  He was not happy.

In the back, Adam Rose confronts Abyss but Abyss said that he had something to do (talk to Hogan) while Rose had his thing going in the ring.  Now that he got that (match) out of his system, Abyss asks Adam if he is ready to become a tag team.  Rose chills out and says yes and it looks like they are now on the same page.

Kevin Steen makes his way out and says that he is ready for a change and that change will include a name change.  He will now be known as Kevin Owens and he is ready to take on any challenger.  Samoa Joe makes his way out to the ring.  Kevin says that Joe is not in the same league (a play on words and the fact that Owens is in the HWF and Joe is in the CSWA) as he is.  Joe says that’s ok and that Kevin can be moved at any time that GM Master Bull wants it to happen.  Kevin says that he will take on the next HWF person to come out from behind the curtain.  If he loses the match, he will agree to be moved to the CSWA.

To a lot of people’s surprise, out walks John Cena.  The crowd boos and Cena tells them to shut up and sit down.  Cena then starts to rap on how pathetic both Owens and Joe are and he decided that tonight, Cena will start clearing house and get rid of the trash (talking about Owens).  Owens vs Cena is NEXT.

For a good 10 minutes, Cena and Owens go toe to toe.  Kevin then gets tossed out of the ring in front of the commentary booth where Joe is assisting with calling the action.  Kevin starts to jaw jack with Joe and Cena comes out and whips him into the steel post.  Owens almost gets knocked out.  He is disoriented and unable to get any offense in.  2 minutes later, John hits a Five Knuckle Shuffle and hooks the leg for the 1-2-3.  Kevin Owens is now out of the HWF.  Joe gets in the ring and picks up Owens and hits a muscle buster before leaving him in a heap in the ring.

In the back, Paige approaches Brie Bella and says that she wants her title spot for the Women’s title.  Brie tries to get out of it by faking an injury but Paige calls her out and says that tonight, Paige will chase Ravishing Raquel’s title.

GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that the CSWA is a little heavy and says that with the next match, the loser will be traded to the HWF.

For the next match, Kofi Kingston takes on Jeff Hardy with the loser being traded to the HWF.  This one goes 18 minutes and ends after Hardy catches Kofi with a suicide dive.  Kofi gets the loss and is traded.

The next match has Paige challenging Brie Bella for her spot for the Women’s title.  If Brie were to lose, she would move over to the Diva’s title contention.  I wouldn’t go as far as saying that Paige totally dominated the match but she sure controlled the majority of the 23 minute fight.  In the end, Paige traps Brie in the PTO (Paige tap out) and Brie submits.  Paige and Brie switch places in their respective top 10’s.  Paige gets on the mic and tells Ravishing Raquel she is coming for the Women’s title.

It is time for our main event…hang on…something happening.  #CJ is running out to the ring.  Abyss is walking out after him.  It seems that Abyss was getting tired of waiting for his title shot and is making #CJ give it to him now.  Big Show also came out but did not have the briefcase nor Lil’ Naitch with him.  Needless to say, #CJ was getting his ass handed to him in this Bullrope match.  Many times, it looked like Abyss was going to get the win only to have #CJ miraculously kick out or reach the ropes.   Just when it looked like Abyss was going to get the win, Show hits Abyss with a knockout punch.  #CJ then wraps the bullrope around Abyss’s throat choking him out.  Just as Abyss looked to be going nighty night, #CJ makes the cover and (with both a hook of the tights AND his feet on the ropes) gets the 1-2-3.  #CJ is victorious in his title defense.   Big Show starts to climb in the ring and #CJ, even exhausted from this match, bolts out of the ring and runs to the back.

Ok, now it is time for our main event.  First, Solomon Crowe and Kalisto make their way down to the ring and then they are followed by the Desperados – The Stache and El Chango.  For 11 minutes, the Desperados held their own but it wasn’t until the World Tag Team Champions the Ascension (Konnor and Viktor) and MJ made their way down to scout the match.  The Desperados are the #1 contenders however, the presence of the champs put them off their game.  In 18 minutes, Solomon Crowe hits the Stache with a double Axehandle smash and covers him for the 1-2-3.  After the match, Crowe says that they beat the #1 contenders and therefore they should be next in line for a title match against the champs.  MJ gets on the mic and says that he concurs as only the worthy should get a shot at the champs and the Desperados looked pathetic in this match.  MJ says that the Ascension will defend the titles next against Solomon Crowe and Kalisto.  The show ends with the 4 men (and MJ) standing in the ring staring at each other.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 05.05

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s event comes to you Live from Dallas, TX…home of the Mavericks and the Cowboys.   The show begins with #CJ coming on stage.  “men...sit down or go get a beer.  The heartthrob of the decade is here to give the ladies a present that they can take home with them…me in all my glorious wonder looking as good as only the Hardcore champion can.”  #CJ then introduces his “Jones of the night” which is former Cowboy Ed ‘Too Tall’ Jones and the owner of the Cowboys Jerry Jones.”  The two come out to a nice pop and as they are escorting #CJ to the ring, he starts to get jealous of the attention HIS guests are getting.  In the ring, he takes a mic.  “Tonight, I’m here to defend my title which is rare for all you skunkweed half-wits half-breeds.”  He pauses as the boos become deafening.  “I’m surprised you no-nothings can figure out how to make any noise.”  Ed Jones and Jerry Jones question what #CJ is doing.  “You two planned all along to steal my limelight.  #CJ doesn’t need your sorry asses in my ring.  GET the HELL out!”  Too Tall and Jerry Jones leave.  “Now, as I was saying…”.  #CJ is interrupted by Tyler Breeze.  “Defending your title?  How about trying on a real wrestler?  Think you can handle it?”  Breeze rushes the ring but #CJ bails.  Finally a ref comes out and the match can begin.  #CJ says that Breeze is not in line for his title.  “Ok, then how about your spot for the Intercontinental title?  I’ll fight you for that.”  GM Master Bull comes out and tells #CJ if he takes on Breeze for this match, then he won’t have to defend the Hardcore title tonight.  #CJ seems ok with that.  “You know who I am, right?” #CJ asks.  “I’m the DAMN #PC (still calls himself the people’s champion.  I think the Rock may take offense if he gets wind of this.)

The champ seemed to hold his own for the first 5 minutes of the match until an appearance by the Big Show on stage threw him off his game.  Breeze then dismantled the Hardcore champion and in 20 minutes, pinned #CJ after hitting a nasty back suplex.  Breeze takes over #CJ’s spot for the IC title.  He apparently wants another piece of Brock Lesnar.  After the match, Big Show makes his way down.  He goes to help #CJ up but ends up nailing a chokeslam instead.  Big Show picks up the Hardcore title and poses with it before dropping it on the champ and then leaving.

We head backstage where ½ of the Beautiful People Fusion Valentine says she is getting a shot at the Women’s Championship and champ Ravishing Raquel tonight.  She promises that gold is coming to the Beautiful People.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, out comes Adam Rose and then he is followed by his opponent Adrian Neville who is accompanied to the ring by his A-Team mates Austin Aries and Antonio Cesaro.  Rose, not happy with the extra muscle at ringside, attacks Neville before the bell.  This was a pretty hard fought match on both sides.  Abyss ends up running down to ringside and chases Austin Aries and Antonio Cesaro to the back.  Neville ends up hitting Rose with the Red Arrow and at the 20 minute mark, gets the win.  While Neville is showboating in the ring, Rose recovers and hits Neville with the Party Foul.  Adrian bails and yells at Rose who is in the ring celebrating. 

In the back, Shield member Ryback runs into Samoa Joe.  Ryback gives Joe a hard time about not being able to close the deal when it really matters.  Joe asks if he wants to test him tonight and he’ll show Ryback the meaning of pain.  Ryback laughs it off and says “Sure, whatever” and walks off. 

We head to the ring for our next match.  First, out comes ‘Luke Warm’ Lucas Johnston who the crowd just goes quiet for.  Man, this guy cannot get over with the fans.  His opponent tonight is newcomer Leon Teremoto.  Leon begins with a side headlock and Lucas hits him with repeated dropkicks.  Leon then locks in an armbar scissor lock and Johnston struggles to get to the ropes.  Leon makes like he’s going to charge at Johnston and Lucas just bails out of the ring.  He appears to have had enough and walks away.  He gets counted out and the newcomer Leon Teremoto is victorious in his first HWF/CSWA outing.  He asks for a mic.

“Thank you for welcoming me to your new family.  I am proud to be wrestling for you.  As you may or may not know, I hail from Latin America.  My name means ‘the quiet one’.  However, I was not always quiet as I used to weigh over 400lbs.  I am sad to say that I overindulged in tacos and soymilk.  No more…I am in the best shape of my life thanks to a steady diet of cucumbers and water.  I am here to make a name for myself and you will not forget who I am.  Stay tuned as I promise to bring honor to the honorless; courage to the cowards; appreciation for those who struggle with thanklessness.  Thank you.”  Leon gets a nice pop from the crowd as he leaves.  Looks like we’ve got another fresh face.

2 members of Prestige Inc. King Damian Sandow and ‘the Elitist Reid Rothchild head down to the ring to a nice pop from the crowd.  Sandow says how they are in line for a shot at the World Tag Team titles.  Champions The Ascension head to the ring and cuts things off. Konnor says this isn’t entertaining, and these delusional idiots in the ring are just trying to jump start their careers. Viktor says there’s a difference between laughed at and laughed with, and this is the dawning of their time. They scream ‘welcome to the wasteland’ and attack Sandow and Reid and beat them down.  Konnor eliminates Reid and Viktor nails Sandow with the Fall of Man.  Konnor yells “OHHHH What a rush” and the fans toss junk at them in the ring.  MJ makes his way down and escorts his team to the back.

Next on the card is Heath Slater taking on Kofi Kingston.  This was a pretty close match going 23 minutes.  Kofi ends up catching Slater with the Cool Runnings Kick and gets the 3 count.

In the back, Adam Rose meets up with Abyss and asks if they can team together.  Abyss says he’ll consider it.

We go back to the ring for our next match with Samoa Joe taking on Shield member Ryback.  This was another close match that had both men putting their all into this.  At the 23 minute mark, Ryback reverses a Rear Naked Choke attempt and nails a marching cradle suplex.  Ryback puts his feet on the ropes and the ref counts 1...2...3.  Ryback gets the win.  Joe is up and starts shoving Ryback and the two come to blows again.   A bunch of suits from the back came out and had to break this up.  I doubt it is over between these two.

Back to the interview area and Sheamus is here but Ken Anderson is not.   Sheamus says that Anderson may take things too far and if he does, The Great White (and man is he white) Hope will destroy Anderson and send him back to the trailer park.

Prestige Inc. member Magnus comes out for his X-Division title match against the champion Roman Reigns. 

In 19 minutes, Reigns nails Magnus with a powerbomb and that is all she wrote in this very one sided match up.

Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel says that her husband ‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild and his Lordship King Damian Sandow are up next.  Prestige Inc. will finally put the Ascension to rest and she, in tonight’s main event, will send Fusion Valentine home empty handed.

Prestige Inc. members Reid Rothchild and King Damian Sandow come out first.  Then MJ and the World Tag Team Champions come out next.  12 minutes into the match, Konnor and Viktor injure Sandow leaving Reid on his own.  Reid did a good job but in the end was no match for the power from the Ascension.  Viktor and Konnor took Reid outside the ring and hit the Fall of Man.  They get back in the ring and Reid ends up getting counted out.  The Ascension retain their titles in a 15 ½ minute match.

It is time for our Main Event.  Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel vs Fusion Valentine with the title on the line is next.  The challenger Fusion Valentine comes out first and then is followed by the champ.  Fusion gets on the mic and tells the crowd that if she doesn’t win the title tonight, she will retire.  Raquel says that if Fusion is willing to put her career on the line, she’ll make this a best of 3 falls. The first fall goes to Raquel after Fusion ends up getting counted out of the ring at 3 ½ min.  Raquel then says that she’ll throw out the count out stipulation and now the winner must get the other to tap out or be pinned.  For 16 minutes, Fusion went toe to toe with the champ but after Raquel threw Fusion to the corner and she hit the ringpost, her offense went out the window.  Raquel kept trying to capitalize on the injury trying to get Fusion to tap out but she wouldn’t.  Finally, as we get to the 24 minute mark, Raquel manages to trap Fusion in the middle of the ring with the Ravishing Armbar.  After all the damage that had been done, Fusion just couldn’t keep going.  She taps out.  Ravishing Raquel retains her title.  She ends up helping Fusion to her feet and gives her a hug.  She then leaves and lets Fusion interact with the fans to bring the show to a close. 

After the camera went off the air, Diva’s Champion and Fusion’s partner in the Beautiful People Southern Belle comes out and starts to yell at her. “What do you think you were doing?  You just ruined our team.  You selfish BITCH.  Belle then slaps her across the face.  Fusion starts to fight back until someone from the audience runs in and attacks her.  She removes her hood and it’s…hang on…that’s Velvet Sky.  She is back.  Velvet drops Fusion and then she and Belle celebrate in the ring.  The fans boo them.

Thanks for reading.  Stay Tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 05.04

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue begins with Adam Rose storming into GM Hulk Hogan’s office.  He demands to know where Adrian Neville is.  Hogan says that the A-team doesn’t answer to him and he is not their babysitter.  Rose says that he wants Neville to explain his actions.  He then storms out.

Our first match is for the Intercontinental title held by Brock Lesnar and he is defending it tonight against Tyson Kidd.  This one was short and really would have been surprised otherwise.  Brock gets the win in 4 short minutes after hitting a press and slam.  Brock puts his face in front of a camera and says he’s coming after the World title. 

The A-Team (CSWA World Champ Austin Aries, Antonio Cesaro and Adrian Neville) arrive.  They are met by GM Hulk Hogan who tells Neville that Adam Rose is looking for him.  Neville is about to brush him off but Aries says that the A-Team doesn’t back down from a challenge and tells Neville to deal with it tonight.  Adrian agrees to.

Next on the card is The American Wolves vs the Usos (Jimmy and Jey).  In 7 minutes, Jey Uso catches Davey Richards with the Island Nerve pinch and uses that to get the pin.  The Uso’s obtain a very rare win.

In the back, Alicia Fox purposefully bumps into Paige.  Paige takes offense and then Paige challenges Alicia for her title spot.  Alicia agrees and they head down to the ring.  This was another short match that showed Paige totally dominating her challenger.  Alicia didn’t even get in one offensive shot.  In 5 minutes, Paige nails the Paige Turner and secures the win.

Adam Rose heads to the ring and calls out Adrian Neville.   Adam asks Neville what he’s doing and Adrian says he needs to be on a winning team with 2 of the greatest superstars on the planet.  Rose gets all mad and starts poking him in the chest (who do you think you are abandoning me?).  Neville retaliates with a tornado DDT.  He wipes his hands together and walks off leaving Rose unconscious in the ring.  A ref comes out and helps Adam up and out.

Next on the card is Bray Wyatt vs Bo Dallas for the HWF World title,  Bray decides that he will not make this match a specialty rules match and says he’ll give Bo a match straight up.  Bray hits a lifting sideslam and follows it up with Sister Abigail for the win in 17 min.  He picks up a mic.  "He's got the whole world in his hands. He's got the whole wide world in his hands. He's got the whole world in his hands. He's got the whole world in his hands. Never, ever, have those words been more true than they are right now. I've truly got the whole world in my hands, yeah. The world has come to lean on me, and they lean on me because they know that somewhere deep down I only want what's best for all of you. The problem with that is sometimes what is best for us is not the easiest path. In this life, we all must make sacrifices. Most of us don't even know it but we do it every day. We go to work and we break our backs just so we can keep our children’s fed. And we sulk and we suffer while another man put his finger in our face and tells us who to be and how to act.  Sting must make sacrifices.”

"But when are you going to understand that all that is pointless? Sting, the poison has already set in. And we all know the only way to cure a snakebite is with the anti-venom. So what say you? Am I the snake or am I the cure? I know what role I must play in this world. I am the necessary evil that this world so badly needs. And in the end, in the end, if you are my brother or my sister you will stand right beside me. But if you are my enemy, you will fall at my feet. And I think it's clear, I think we all understand right here right now, that Sting is enemy to us all.

"Why? That has a question that has plagued me my entire life. Why does a man do what he does? Why does a man say what he says? Why don't the sheep run from the hungry wolf? Why am I different? I enter the threshold of battle without my brothers but I am never alone, Sting. Her hand guides me and the world follows behind. You can ask whatever you want but I am to ask you this, Sting: How can you save what is already dead? How can you forget what is already burned in your memory? What will be left of you, Sting? What am I? Well I'm Bray Wyatt, and I'm the nightmare at the end of your dream. Beyond time I stand."  Bray drops the mic and then leaves.

In the back, Dean Ambrose approached Antonio Cesaro and challenges him for his spot.  Antonio accepts and that match is next.

Dean Ambrose vs. Antonio Cesaro for his spot in the US title hunt.  Cesaro is next in line but Ambrose wants to move up in the rankings.  The Shield (Seth Rollins and Ryback) come out to show support for Ambrose and fellow A-Team members Adrian Neville and the CSWA World Champion Austin Aries comes out to support their teammate.  Ambrose kept the edge for the entire match and after attempted interference from both teams, the A-Team and Shield were sent to the back.  Ambrose gets the win in 28 minutes with knife edge chops followed by the Dirty Deeds.  Dean moves up in the rankings.

Ken Anderson comes out and he’s looking odd.  He is covered in white paint or something (making fun of Sheamus’ pasty white skin).  He also is wearing a funky red wig with a single ponytail.  He mocks Sheamus’ accent (Sheamus is Irish but Anderson was speaking with a very lousy British accent) and gets a pop from the crowd.  Sheamus is not there tonight or I’m sure he’d retaliate.

Warrior of Truth (R-Truth) vs Abyss for his hardcore title spot. The match ends up going 30 minutes and then the newest member of the A-Team Adrian Neville comes out and immediately challenges Abyss for his spot.  We know that Abyss wanted revenge so he accepted.  Before the match could begin, Abyss attacked Adrian.  Neville opted to just walk out robbing Abyss of a match he so very much wanted.  Abyss ends up hitting the ref with the Black Hole Slam…just because he was there.

Coming Next Week: the debut of Leon Teremoto

It is time for our main event and this one is a cross promotional match.  GM’s Hulk Hogan and Master Bull both come out and they say they will pick names at random and that will be who is headlining tonight’s show.  Master Bull draws a name and it is John Cena.  Hulk Hogan draws a name and it is Kurt Angle.  Both men tried to complain that they are “teammates” but neither GM bought it.  John definitely took control of the match after the Olympic Hero saw the Caped Crusader up in the rafters.  Angle could not regain his composure.  Cena controlled the match and kept Kurt on the defensive.  After a dominating performance by Cena (he and Kurt were both booed), John ends it with an F-U.  John gets win and then leaves.  The Caped Crusader then repels down from the rafters.  He approaches Kurt and whispers something to him.  He then leaves as quickly as he arrived zipping back up to the rafters.  Kurt watches him go and then leaves the ring.

Thanks for reading.  Stay Tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 05.03

Hello fans.  We have another action packed show for you.  There are title matches, a new member of the A-Team possibly being inducted and of course, everyone’s favorite person to hate…#CJ.

Our first match of the night is Jay Lethal vs. James Storm.  Storm controlled the beginning of the match but Lethal battled back with a vengeance.  This one goes 24 minutes and the score was even (if this was based on points).  Lethal gets the win after connecting with the flying elbow smash (ala Macho Man Randy Savage).

In the back, Awesome Kong approaches Southern Belle and says that she is the #1 contender and tonight, she is taking the Diva’s Championship…like it or not.  Belle looks worried.

We head back to the ring for our first title match of the night…Prestige Inc w/Ravishing Raquel vs Robbie E, Rockstar Spud and ECIII for the 6 man titles.  The challengers owned this one completely however they could not prevent the constant tagging and saves from the champs.  Just as the match was winding down, Reid manages to hit Spud with the Rothchild Stunner.  Spud kicks out just as the bell rings signaling a time limit draw.  Since the challengers were destroying the champs, I would not be surprised to see them get another title shot. (30 min)

We head back to the interview area where Dean Ambrose is interviewed.  He says he will be at ringside for the upcoming US title match between Daniel Bryan and Christopher Daniels.  GM Hulk Hogan walks over and warns Ambrose not to interfere in the match.  His reply:   “Who…ME?”

Our next title match is up next with US Champion Christopher Daniels vs Daniel Bryan for the title.  Ambrose makes his way down and sits at commentary.  This was the shortest match of the night.  Right as the bell rings, Daniels throws Bryan into the crowd and handcuffs him to the railing.  Daniels then goes over to Ambrose and throws him a chair.  He immediately drops to the floor making it look like Ambrose hit him with the chair.  The ref looks over and sees this and rings the bell signaling a DQ.  Christopher Daniels retains via DQ.  Dean drops the chair and tries to explain he didn’t use it.  Ambrose picks up the chair and chases Daniels from ringside.  Eventually, Bryan is freed and he heads to the back.

We head outside the arena for our next video.  #CJ goes to McDonald’s because he KNOWS Big Show won’t go there.  He orders two mcDoubles, a super-size fries but asked them to fill his “Big Mug” cup as he didn’t want to pay extra for theirs.  As he is sitting down to eat, he hears the familiar voice of Big Show as he places his order.  Lil’ Naitch is with him and the briefcase is present.  #CJ, realizing he just recently gave the beatdown of a lifetime to the Big Show (with a chair, that cheater), a healthy Big Show is not to be messed with.  He tries to slink out but Show sees him.  “Hey Champ.  Mind if we sit with you?”  Show and Lil’ Naitch sit at #CJ’s table.  #CJ is looking nervous.  “Why so nervous champ?” Big Show asked.  “Ah, you’re afraid that after you beat me down with that chair, you’d think I’m here for revenge...at the McDonald’s.  Well…you’re right.”  Big Show goes on the attack and smacks #CJ with the briefcase.  Before he can hand it over to Lil’ Naitch for the cash in, #CJ bolts out of the building.  “Coward.  Soon, he won’t be able to run.”  Big Show and Lil’ Naitch sit quietly and finish their lunch.  #CJ sneaks back in, grabs his food and then bolts again before Big Show can react.

Before the show began, Xavier Woods & Tyson Kidd challenged the Desperados for their tag team spot.  Now, the match is taking place.  El Chango and the Stache barely held their own as Woods & Kidd owned this match.  This one almost went the distance.  At the 29:30 mark, Tyson Kidd gets tossed out of the ring by the Stache and he ends up getting counted out.  The Desperados retain their spot.  After the exhausting match, the Desperados visited with fans at ringside.  It was kind of funny that the Stache, on one side of the ring started a “Fruit Roll Up” chant and on the other, El Chango got a “Slim Jim” chant going.  For a few minutes, the crowd really got into it and eventually the ref had to come down and ask the two to leave.

It is time for our next match which has Diva’s Champion Southern Belle taking on Awesome Kong for the title.  Kong towers over Belle and at first, Belle looks intimidated.  She then realizes she is the Diva’s champion and beats the snot out of Kong.  Her “Beautiful People” partner Fusion Valentine makes her way down and sits at commentary.   In a 17 minute total annihilation, Belle retains her title after she catches Kong with a flying body press and a 3 count.  Belle got on the mic “See, big or small, only one stands as the Diva’s Champion and that is ME…Southern Belle.”  Fusion joins her in the ring and they celebrate for a moment before leaving.

It is time for the Main event:  Abyss vs Alexander Rusev vs Adam Rose vs Adrian Neville for the #3 spot in the A-Team.  Abyss eliminated Rusev (his heart wasn’t in it and he left immediately thereafter).  Neville eliminated his tag team partner Adam Rose.  The final two battle it out until Abyss hits Neville with a Blackhole slam to get the win and retain his spot in the A-Team.  Aries and Cesaro come out and congratulate him.  Then they attack Abyss and beat him down.  Aries introduces the newest member of the A-Team:  Adrian Neville.  Neville stands with the A-Team over a beaten Abyss while Adam Rose (his now former tag team partner) looks on in bewilderment.

That is all for now.  Stay Tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 05.02

Welcome back to our newsletter.  Our show tonight is chock full of action so let’s get right down to it.

The show begins backstage where HWF Bray Wyatt beat the tar out of Sting.  He cradles Sting in his arms and says that he will ease Sting’s pain.  He then breaks out “I’ve got the whole world…in my hands.”

CSWA Austin ‘the Man’ Aries walks in accompanied by A-Team members Antonio Cesaro and Abyss.  They are met by GM Hulk Hogan.  Hogan once again congratulates Aries on his world title win but informs him that the title must be defended tonight.  Aries begins to complain and then stops.  He says that he is the World Champion and will not let his team or Hogan down.  Hogan also tells the others that they will also be in action tonight.  They all seem to be ok with it.

Our first match has Alberto el Patron challenging AJ Styles for his spot for the US title.  AJ destroyed Alberto for the 15 minutes this went on.  AJ ends up getting the pin after hitting Alberto with the Styles Clash.  After the match, Randy Orton shows up on stage and makes likes he going to run down to the ring but he stops short and then leaves.

The Miz comes out and says he got fired from his movie all thanks to the Fiend.  Miz says the Fiend cost him a lot of money and even though he said one match between them and they were done, this changes things.  Now he is going to teach the Fiend a lesson he’ll never forget.  He drops the mic and storms out.

We head to the ring for our next match which is supposed to be Big Show challenging Brock Lesnar for his spot for the Hardcore title.  Lesnar comes out and says that he has no interest in pursuing this title so he says that Big Show can have the spot.  As Brock walks away, GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that it is Brock’s right to refuse a title shot but he cannot just give that spot away.  Hogan tells Big Show that later tonight, he fights Bobby Lashley and the winner gets that spot.

A Bray Wyatt vignette airs.  “You always told me that the war to bring down this machine would be a long and daunting process, and you were right. You're always right. The man called Sting is a coward. He is but a miniscule ant trying to pierce the armor of a scorpion. I felt him, I held him, I held him right here in my arms, the same way you did for me. I offered him a way out of this hell, I told him I can take the pain away. All I was able to feel was his empty heart beating. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever doubting you, Abigail. I understand now what you expect from me, I understand what it is we must do. If Sting refuses to walk with the reapers then he will burn with the saints."

The next match is Antonio Cesaro vs Adrian Neville for Neville’s IC title shot.  If Neville loses, he trades spots with Cesaro and moves over to the North American top 10.   Neville had control early on but then Cesaro kicked it up a notch.  He and Neville battled for 21 minutes and Cesaro sneaks out a win after hitting Adrian with the Cradle facebuster.  Cesaro is now in line for the IC title and Neville moves to the NA.

Buff Austin comes out and says that everyone who’s been put in front of him has been taken out.  First it was legend Sting, then Legend-Killer Randy Orton and finally the not-so-great MW3.  Austin says that he will continue on this path until he once again wears gold around his waist.

We have our first title match of the night with the champs the Ascension taking on the Band (Pick & the Axe).  The Ascension and MJ come out to Black Sabbath’s ‘Iron Man’ (this was at one time the music for the Road Warriors).  The fans are pissed and throws crap at them.  The Band comes out and they are using ‘Hellraiser’ by Ozzy Osborne (music also used by the Road Warriors at one time).  These fans must be old-school to have caught these references and the Band got booed and crapped on just as bad as the champs did.  Right before the match could begin, the Ascension attacked the Axe by hitting the Fall of Man on the exposed concrete floor.  He looks to be hurt.  Dirk says he will continue on for his team.  He started off with a bang but double teaming from the champs slowed him down.  Dirk held his own for 15 minutes but after Konnor hit him with a DDT in the middle of the ring, it was all over.  The Ascension retain their titles.  Viktor gets on the mic and tells the band “You may suck but we don’t’ care.”

GM Hulk Hogan conducts a very rare interview talking to Kenta Kobayashi.  He asks Kenta if he is ready for his match against ‘The Man’ Austin Aries for the CSWA World title and Kenta responds that he is honored to be given this shot and will give nothing short of 100% in the ring.

We head back to the ring for our next match which is Big Show vs Bobby Lashley with the winner getting the vacated title spot for the Hardcore title (Show still has his money in the bank contract).  Bobby Lashley comes out first and then is followed by Big Show who has his briefcase with him.  Before the match could begin, Hardcore Champion #cj comes out and sits at the commentary booth.  #cj says that now that he is a champion, his name needs to reflect importance and now he is #CJ…all caps to reflect his importance (in his own mind that is).  Show and Lashley look on with trepidation.  Both men go in and start blasting each other with lefts and rights.  Lashley hits the ropes setting up a spear but Show catches him and hits a very impressive chokeslam.  Big Show gets the win in just 4 minutes.  #CJ hits the ring with a chair and begins blasting Show with it.  After what seemed like an eternity of chair shots, Show somehow manages to get to his feet.  #CJ decides to leave and sees the briefcase sitting there.  He makes for it but out runs lil’ Naitch and #CJ decides to leave it alone. 

The third member of the A-Team Abyss is up next taking on Eric Young.  Abyss underestimated the spryness of EY and it cost him dearly. Abyss would try to overpower EY but he was just too quick some of the times.  Towards the end of the match, EY climbed to the second turnbuckle and hit a second rope piledriver.  Abyss is out.  EY makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 at the 19 minute mark.  Abyss struggled to his feet.  Fellow teammates Antonio Cesaro and Austin Aries came out.  Aries said that this wasn’t working out and said that Abyss is out of the A-Team.  They need someone more capable of holding their own.  Abyss pleads with them that he wasn’t ready for tonight’s show and Aries says that is the reason this split needs to happen.  Abyss asks for one more chance.  He suggests a mini battle royal with 3 other wrestlers and the winner can get that coveted 3^rd spot.  Aries asks who Antonio thinks should be the other 3 and he says Adam Rose, Adrian Neville and Alexander Rusev.  Aries agrees.  They all leave at the same time.

Next on the card is Dean Ambrose vs. Kazarian.  If Ambrose wins, he will get another shot at Daniels and the US title.  The US Champion Christopher Daniels comes down and sits at commentary.   This match was nothing short of an ASS-Whipping.  Ambrose was a man on a mission.  He beat the snot, the holy hell and the kitchen sink out of Kazarian.  And he did so for 24 whopping minutes.  Ambrose kept motioning to Daniels each and every time he incapacitated Kaz.  After Kaz caught Ambrose with an eye rake, he signaled to Daniels who removed one of the padded turnbuckles.  Ambrose saw this and reversed a whip and blasted Kaz’s head into the exposed bracket.  Kaz collapsed and while Daniels had a tantrum on the outside of the ring, Ambrose made the (very lax) cover and got the 1-2-3.  Daniels pulled Kaz out of the ring and helped him to the back.  Ambrose gets another title shot.

It is time for our main event.  CSWA World Champion Austin ‘the Man’ Aries defends his title against Kenta Kobayashi.  This is a best of 3 falls.  The first fall goes to the champ who, in 26 minutes, gets the pin after hitting a slingshot corkscrew press.  The second fall goes to Kenta who gets a rollup after hitting a neckbreaker in 5 min.  The final fall goes 16 minutes and was pretty darn close the entire way.  Aries got a break and was able to hit the Aries 450 and pick up the final fall.  Aries retains his title after a very hard fought, impressive performance.  As the show was coming to an end, Abyss, Cesaro and GM Hulk Hogan come out and celebrate with the champ.

That is all for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 05.01

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue begins with activity happening outside.  A father brings his son to tonight’s wrestling event for his very first show.  They hold out hope that tickets may be available even though the show is sold out.  It just so happens that the owners of 2 ringside seats had to cancel and the dad was able to get those seats for his ecstatic son.  They head inside.

Master Bull comes out to kick off the show.  He tells the audience that with the injuries sustained by the Super Warrior, he will be put on the injured reserve list.  He cannot confirm nor deny if the Super Warrior will ever step foot in a wrestling ring ever again.  He apologizes for starting off on such a somber note but says things will start taking off…starting now.

#cj goes to the ring accompanied by retired wrestler SD ‘Special Delivery’ Jones and sees the kid from our opening segment opening up an ice cream sandwich.  #cj walks over and takes it (forcibly) from the kid before he has a chance to take a bite and takes a bite himself.  He seems repulsed by it, spits it out and throws it on the ground.  Camera zooms in on kid crying.  Booing from the fans.  #cj doesn’t appreciate it so he just leaves.   The father hurled a fountain drink at #cj and just drenched him in Pepsi.  SD Jones had to hold #cj back before he did something he may regret.  #cj yells at the father “do you know who I am old man?  I am the Rock, Ric Flair and Barry Horowitz all rolled in to one.”  SD escorts #cj to the back.

There seems to be almost a riot going on backstage.  MW3 walks up to a camera and says that #cj opens his mouth and crap just keeps coming out.  He says that he wants #cj in a match tonight – title or no title…doesn’t matter.  Somebody’s getting their ass beat.

Spider Violet comes out and says she wants to cash her MITB contract in against Ravishing Raquel tonight.  She is in the ring waiting but doesn’t wait for long as the Women’s Champion comes out to a good pop and heads to the ring.  This match is pretty even until Violet got cocky and when going for a dropkick, Raquel pulls the rope down and the Spider goes sailing over the top rope.  She appears to land awkward and ends up getting counted out.  Raquel retains her title via countout in 7:30.

Big Show says that #cj has gone too far and he’s going to attempt to fix this right now.  Big Show comes out with a bag.  He goes over to the little kid who was just disrespected by #cj.  He opens the bag and there are multiple types of Ice Cream (cups, cones, sandwiches) all inside.  With the dad’s permission, he let the kid choose as many as he wanted.  Show gets on a mic and calls #cj a total ass.

Almost immediately, “#cj_is_a_total_ass” begins to trend worldwide.

Our next match is The Viper Randy Orton taking on Buff Austin.  Austin surprisingly goes toe to toe with the Viper for 5 minutes.  AJ Styles then comes out and Orton gets distracted.  Buff hurls Orton out of the ring and he goes right after AJ resulting in a countout.  AJ nails Orton with the Styles Clash and Orton is down.  He then leaves.  Back in the ring, Buff takes the mic and says that he’s beaten two main eventers in Sting and Randy Orton.  He is now Buff “Main Event” Austin.  MW3 comes out and tells him to shut the hell up.  He then leaves.  Buff becomes sad and leaves.

As Buff Austin leaves the ring, the Desperados make their way out.  They go visit the kid and give him some goodies. The kid actually gives both of them a hug in appreciation.  The Desperados enter the ring and say that they want in the tag team title hunt.  Kalisto and Solomon Crowe come out and say that the Desperaods don’t deserve anything.  El Chango made mention that there was one spot left for a contender for the tag team titles.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that if the Desperados could be Kalisto and Crowe, then they can have that final spot.  This was another very close match but after Kalisto got tossed out of the ring, he and Crowe opted to walk away.  The Desperados get the win and are now in line for a tag team title shot.  6 ½ minutes.

HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt comes out and gets in the ring with a mic.  “Sting, my friend, the time has come for me to teach you a lesson. Sister Abigail has spoken…”  He is interrupted by ‘The Original Big Daddy’ Donnie B.  Donnie B has his own mic.  “Bray, I’ve beaten you once and because of a technicality, I was stripped of that belt.  I can beat you again and once again become the HWF Champion.  Don’t look to the future for a match against Sting; pay attention to my match…now.”  Donnie B heads to the ring.  Bray agrees to the match but says that like all his matches, this one will be a specialty.  Bray reveals it will be Boot Camp rules.  For 6 minutes, Donnie B went toe to toe with the champ and Bray couldn’t believe it.  Then, Bray turned up the heat.  He continued to blast Donnie B with a german helmet over and over.  He too used a chair and hit Sister Abigail numerous times but Donnie B just kept kicking out.  Bray then locks Donnie B in a B-52 backbreaker and held DB in it for over 90 seconds but DB wouldn’t tap out.  Finally Bray lets up with the damage done.  He brings in a chair and hits Sister Abigail right on the chair.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  15 minutes.  Donnie B had to be helped out of the ring by medics.  STING repels down from the rafters and with a baseball bat in hand, starts knocking Bray around until Bray hightailed it out of there.  Bray backed up cursing at Sting as the Scorpion Warrior stood his ground in the ring.

In the back, Ken Anderson says that GM Master Bull is giving him Sheamus tonight and he will make the most of it…whether the Great White Dope likes it or not.

Next on the card is the Fiend challenging Adam Rose for his spot.  This one goes 28 minutes and sees Rose get the win after connecting with the Party Foul.  After the match, Rose’s tag team partner Adrian Neville comes out and celebrates with his friend.  The camera pans the crowd and up in an executive box is the Miz and he does NOT look happy.

MW3 makes his way down to the ring and calls out #cj.  #cj makes his way out with tonight’s ‘Jones’ SD (Special Delivery) Jones.  The match ends up going to a 30 minute time limit draw and was controlled more and more by the Hardcore Champion.  MW3, though, just kept kicking out of every pin attempt #cj went for.  After the bell rang signaling the end of the match, Buff “Main Event” Austin ran down and nailed MW3 with the Pain Killer not once, not twice but 3 times.  Austin brushed off his shoulders and gave MW3 one final stomp before leaving (it was a version of what former superstar Ronnie Garvin used to do).  (30 min)

GM Hulk Hogan makes an announcement that Daniel Bryan is here tonight to defend the North American Title against ‘The Enigma’ Jeff Hardy.  That will be our main event tonight.

Ken Anderson makes his way down first and ask for a mic.  “My name is MISSSSTTTTEEEEERRRRR…” and he is interrupted as Sheamus makes his way out.  Sheamus hits the ring and attacks Anderson and this one is off.  This one didn’t take long at all as it only took 2 minutes for Sheamus to lock in an Irish Clover Leaf (and holding the ropes) and get Ken Anderson to tap out.  Sheamus gets the win and showboats but Anderson get up pretty quick and hits Sheamus with a Kenton Bomb.  Sheamus rolls out and heads to the back.  (2 min)

It is time for the main event.   Jeff Hardy makes his way out first and then is followed out by the North American Champion.  This is going to be a best of 3 falls, 60 minute match.  Jeff Hardy scores the first pin fall in 16 minutes after hitting a dropkick from the top rope. Daniel Bryan scores the second fall after a 35 minute battle.  He scored the pin after hitting a double underhook suplex.  There is one fall left but only 9 minutes.  The final fall ends up going the distance and ends up with a time limit draw.  Daniel Bryan retains his title.  Both men get a standing ovation as the show comes to an end.

Thanks for reading.  Stay tuned as there will be more to follow.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.11

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We have lots to comment on so let’s get right to it.

After his loss to Bobby Roode, James Storm asks for his unconditional release.  Master Bull declines but says that he will offer to trade Storm to the CSWA.  Storm says that is acceptable.  Bull and Hogan meet and agree to trade Ken Anderson to the HWF.  The trade is effective immediately.

The Fiend follows the Miz to the set of his new film (title unconfirmed).  The Fiend is mistaken for an extra for a scene and gets added to the mix.  During the scene, the Miz is under fire and barely escapes.  As he is moving off-camera, the Fiend stands in his way.  The Miz was not expecting it and falls backwards and sets off explosions that were supposed to be in the next scene.  The director yells at Miz but he complains it wasn’t his fault.  The smoke finally clears but the Fiend is gone…or was he really there in the first place???

The show finally begins with Bram heading to the ring and talking about not being used.  Adam Rose comes out and says the same thing.  The two have a singles match but it ends up getting thrown out after MVP and Adrian Neville get involved.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and makes this a tag team match.  This one almost goes the distance.  For the first two minutes, Rose and Neville were in control.  After that, not so much.  The match went right to the wire.  In the ring, MVP hits Adam Rose with a fisherman’s suplex and starts to go for the pin.  On the outside, Bram sees that the count will expire before the ref counts to 3 so he jumps out of the ring and blocks the timekeeper’s view of the clock.  This allowed MVP to get the 3 count and thus secure a win for his team.  The timekeeper tried to have words with Bram but ended up getting pie-faced.

A vignette airs with Hardcore Champion #cj says he’s taking a break from his hectic wrestling schedule and going out to a nice restaurant.  After making a ruckus (he is an egotistical ass) and orders his food (the waiter made him pay in advance…just because), Big Show (a briefcase in hand) w/ Lil Naitch walk in.  #cj sees him and freaks out.  He bolts through the restaurant, through the kitchen and out the back door.  Big Show and Lil Naitch were only there to eat.  Wonder why #cj ran?  (As a reminder, Show’s Money in the Bank contract allows him to a match anytime, anywhere 24x7 as long as a ref is present).  Show and Lil Naitch end up being seated at what was #cj’s table and are immediately served all the delicious food #cj had ordered for himself…and it was free since #cj already paid for it.  By the way, the briefcase he was carrying was not his money in the bank contract; it was his travel case.

Ken Anderson makes his first 2015 HWF appearance and heads to the ring.  Before he can start talking on the mic, Sheamus comes out and says that he wants to welcome Ken to the HWF the best way he knows how.  Ken asks “Alcohol?”  Sheamus laughs and then hits Ken with a Brogue Kick.  He laughs and walks off.

The Band come out and call out the Ascension. MJ comes out and says that his team is NOT defending the titles tonight and that these impatient no-bodys just have to wait.  Axe suggests a 6 man match.  MJ likes that and says his team with Kane is just unstoppable.  Pick and Axe better go find them a schmuck to team up with them.   Axe looks at Dirk and asks “I didn’t think of that.”  They leave the ring.

Our next match is Bo Dallas vs Stardust.  This was another one that went long (28 minutes).  During the match, both men were in control at different times but it seemed that the longer it went on, the more bored the fans got.  Stardust saw what was happening and they were beginning to lose the crowd’s interest.  Stardust puts Bo on the top turnbuckle and then climbs.  He lifts him via a suplex but then turns it into a jackhammer.  The crowd pops huge for it.  Stardust makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  The fans actually start a Stardust and “that was awesome” chant.  Some of the fans who had left asked their neighbors about what happened and instantly regretted leaving during the match.

The Scorpion Warrior Sting heads out to the ring and calls out Bray Wyatt.  GM Master Bull comes out and says that Bray is not there tonight.  Sting says that Bray is manipulative and will do evil things.  Sting says he will not stoop to Bray’s level and he will fight with honor and with the backing of the fans, he will beat Bray.  Bray needs to watch his back.  Sting then leaves.

‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal makes his way out and says that since losing the X-Division title so long ago, he’s been put on the sidelines. He wants back in the action.  Newly recruited (from HWF) Curtis Axel comes out and challenges him to a fight.  Curtis says that AxelMania is on fire and will help him defeat Lethal right here and now.  Lethal hits a springboard dropkick that sends Axel out of the ring.  He is back in and hits Jay with single leg takedown and follows it up with a running one-handed neckbreaker.  That was it for Lethal.  Curtis rolls him up and gets the 3 count.  Axel does some posing for the crowd (ala Hulk Hogan) and then leaves.  (2 min for the match; 3 for the posing)

AJ Styles is in the back and says that Randy Orton is a sore loser.  Styles beat him fair and square but if Randy wants to make it personal, so be it.  Anytime, anywhere Orton wants to get beat again, he’s game.  Orton runs in and attacks him and drops him with an RKO.   “Anytime…anywhere…damn straight” Orton says before leaving.

Elsewhere backstage, the Band (Axe and Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon) are trying to convince someone…anyone to be their partner tonight.  Absolutely NO one wants to team with them.  Finally, David Otunga comes over and says he’ll team with them on two conditions…1) they pay him an appearance fee and 2) He gets to start off the match.  The Band agrees and they finally have their third member.

We go back to the ring for our Women’s match with the Beautiful People v1 (Belle and Valentine are v2) Madison Rayne and Angelina Love taking on Paige and Natalya.  This one saw both Paige and Natalya get injured (Paige twice) but even with that advantage, the Beautiful People could not stop the onslaught from their opponents.  The match ends up going to a 30 minute time limit draw.  Paige had to be helped by medics when she left the ring.

It is time for the MAIN EVENT.  The Ascension and Kane will be taking on the Band and David Otunga.  As the Band came out, they gave Otunga a briefcase (presumably filled with cash) and they headed to the ring.  MJ comes out next and introduces his team Konnor and Viktor – The Ascension and then introduced Kane.  Otunga got his wish to start off but Kane opted to begin.  Otunga was not happy.  This one went 9 minutes and did not see the Band get involved at all.  Each time Otunga tried to make a tag, the Band would step away.  Otunga got destroyed.  First by Kane and then Viktor and Konnor.  The end finally came after Konnor hurled Otunga out of the ring and he got counted out.  Kane and the Ascension were victorious.   After the match, Axe hits Otunga with the Axe and Dirk hits Otunga with the Pearl drum drop.  They take their briefcase and leave. 

GM Hulk Hogan comes out and thanks the fans for attending but he is interrupted by the familiar music of the Super Warrior.  SW comes out to a pop from the fans (those that didn’t immediately take off).  He heads to the ring.  “ My apologies Mr. Hoooogan but the Suppa Warriah has something to say.   The Suppa Warriah says he’s had a great run and feels that the time of the next generation is on the horizon.  With that said…”  Super Warrior is interrupted by MJ.  “Our time is now you big doof.  Your time has come and gone.  Leave now before you get hurt anymore.”  SW began hulking out in the ring.  “Maggot, you dare interrupt the Suppa Warriah…”  He is cut off after Konnor and Viktor run out and beat him down.  They hit the Fall of Man on him and leave him out.  Viktor takes the mic.  “This is the time of the Ascension.  Anyone who has a problem with that can deal with US.”  Konnor takes the mic “You don’t like it, we don’t care.”  They stand over the prone form of the Super Warrior as the fans throw junk at them in the ring.  They drink in the fans reaction and seem pleased.  MJ was fortunate enough to have an umbrella with him so he didn’t get soaked.

That is all for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.10

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue comes jam packed with more action and will see both the 6 Man Tag Team champs Prestige Inc. defending their titles as well as the CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle.

Wandering around backstage once again is the Caped Crusader.  He is sulking; dragging his feet and not watching where he is going.  He stops when someone steps in his way.  It is none other than CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle.  Angle asks what the h…e…double toothpicks is going on.  What IS his problem anyway?  The Crusader looks up at Kurt with a defeated look in his eyes and says “You were a hero to millions.  Now, you are no better than the scum you used to fight.  You WERE somebody, Kurt.  Now, you’re a no body.”  The Crusader begins to walk away but Kurt grabs his arm.  “Hold on a moment.  I’m the damn World Heavyweight Champion.  You better recognize.”  “Kurt” the Crusader interjected “I recognize you for what you are…a cheat and a coward who deserves everything coming to him.  Enjoy your tainted limelight.”  The Crusader walks away.  Kurt shakes his head and moves on.

We head to the ring for our first match which has former X-Division Champion Tyler Breeze challenging Xavier Woods for his spot for the X-Division title.  Their fight goes 23 minutes and Breeze is whupping Woods’ ass.  Finally, after the ref actually pleaded with Breeze to end it, Tyler nails Xavier with the Implant DDT and this one is over. 

In the back, Austin Aries approaches CSWA GM Hulk Hogan.  “Hey Hulkster, can I have a word?”  Hogan says sure.  “I think I’ve done a great job continuing to lead the A-Team like a leader does but now I feel I deserve more.  I’d like to ask for that title match against Kurt Angle tonight.”  Hogan thinks about it and says “Sure, Brother.  Do the former ‘Hogan’s World Order’ proud.”  Aries promises to get the job done.

Our next match is Sting taking on Buff Austin.  For the first 6 minutes of the match, Sting is beating the HELL out of Austin.  Suddenly, HWF World and Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt comes out.  Sting sees him which causes a distraction.  Wyatt drags his rocking chair behind him and sets it up on the stage and sits in it.  He starts singing “I’ve got the whole world in my hands” when Buff nails Sting with the 3-inch punch and almost gets a 3 count.  Sting then spent most of the match on the defensive.  Right at the 11 minute mark, Bray started to make his way down to ringside.  Sting stopped short of delivering a Stinger splash and ate another 3-inch punch.  Buff rolled Sting up and with his feet on the ropes, gets the 1-2-3.  Buff Austin has just defeated Sting.  Buff sees Bray approaching and leaves the ring.  Bray gets in the ring and starts to help Sting to his feet only to hit him with Sister Abigail.  As Sting is out in the ring, Bray asks for a mic.

"My tongue, my tongue is the scorpion's tail. And when it starts striking, people start getting behind me. And they start getting behind me because I offer them hope. I offer them hope to men like Sting that want to see everything die. Sting, he hides behind that plastic smile. He plays the role of hero while everything around him burns. Well, I promise...all my people, I promise you this fairy tale is going to end. Sting, welcome to your new HELL.”  Bray drops the mic and leaves. Sting recovers and eventually leaves.

A vignette airs for a new wrestler coming soon:  Leon Teremoto from Latin America.  He is expected to debut soon.

Prestige Inc. (King Damian Sandow, Magnus and ‘the Elitist’ Reid Rothchild), the 6 man tag team champions, head to the ring and say they are defending the titles tonight.  The Asian connection (Tajiri, Sanada and Kenta) make their way out.  The Asian connection promises to become the champions or the member of their team who is pinned will quit.  This one is a very hard fought battle and after 11 minutes, Magnus nails Sanada with British Stomps and hits a bridge.  He makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Prestige Inc. retain their titles and Sanada is now out of a job.  He gets a standing ovation from the crowd and his teammates.

We are told that the Super Warrior will be with us live at our next show to make an announcement.  Hmm.  Wonder what that will be.

The Miz comes out and says that tonight is the Fiend’s one and only shot.  After this, he is heading to Hollywood to continue his career as an action/adventure hero. Miz comes out first and is followed by the Fiend.  This is a relatively short match that sees the Miz get pinned after being locked in the Devil’s Lock (figure four).  Miz limped away from the ring but didn’t seem to care as he is off to Hollywood.

In the back, MW3 meets up with the Nigerian Wraith.  The Wraith says he knows that MW3 wants a piece of #cj but it was the arrogance of #cj that cost them their match at Wrestlemania.  He wants a piece of him and feels he should get it first.  MW3 gives him his blessing and tells him to kick that sumbitch’s ass.  The Wraith then meets up with Master Bull and asks for the match to happen.  The title does NOT need to be on the line. He just wants #cj in the ring. 

#cj heads to the ring and he is accompanied by a new “Jones”…this one is former wrestler Nathan Jones.  “Waaah Waaah waaaaah every single time…#cj turned his back on me….are you serious you #Crybaby…I took on 40 something …yeah 40 something supposedly superstars, some simps and crybabies…and came out with the briefcase…and after my cash in, I’m the hardcore champ…now I’ve got a Big Showbaby (refers to Big Show), and casper the friendly wrestler challenging me…if I’ve told you once I’ve told you twice…I am the apex predator…I am at the top of the food chain…yet a 2x loser and a coat tail riding crybaby think they can call me…the #pc out for a shot that neither of them deserve…lmao…you 2 little girls should be fighting to see who should challenge for a women’s title shot…I refuse to defend my title until either 1 of these can actually beat someone…don’t we have a warm up show or something…how did either 1 of these jokers even make it on tv…you know what…someone get me whoever is in charge of this program…(drops the mic).

Master Bull comes out and says that #cj is fighting the Nigerian Wraith…now.  #cj ran from the Wraith for a good portion of the match (showing us what a coward he really is) but after Nathan Jones glared at the Wraith (must have scared him), #cj took the fight to NW.  #cj began a 10 minute beatdown on the Wraith and then called for a mic.  He said that this match which was previously NOT for the title, is NOW for the title.  #cj then locks the Wraith in a guillotine choke and he gets the Wraith to tap out.  #cj gets the win but Master Bull comes out and says that #cj cannot change the rules during a match so this was still a non-title match.  All of a sudden, the Big Show comes out with the ref once known as ‘Lil Naitch’ with his briefcase.  #cj sees this, grabs his title and runs away through the crowd.

The Stache and El Chango appear at Make a Wish Foundation.  They arrive with gifts of Fruit Roll Ups and Slim Jims (not sure the kids should be eating those).  The kids are ecstatic to see these two and the Desperados end up spending the entire day with the kids.  What great guys.

The Band are interviewed and they say that their time is now.  They are demanding their title shot at the Ascension at the next show.

It is time for our main event.  Kurt Angle defends the CSWA World title vs. ‘the Man’ Austin Aries.  Kurt and Austin begin to fight until the Caped Crusader comes out and Kurt is distracted.  Aries capitalizes on it and at the 6 minute mark, catches Kurt with a slingshot corkscrew press.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 to become the NEW CSWA WORLD CHAMPION.  Kurt is shocked and cannot believe what has happened.  Fellow A-Team members Antonio Cesaro and Abyss come out and celebrate with their teammate.  Angle sulks away.  The camera quickly cuts to the Crusader but he still seems as somber as he was before.  What will make this guy happy? 

Stay tuned to find out.  Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.09

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Before the show can begin, the HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt heads to the ring with mic in hand.    

“Sting, every night we lay our heads down to dream, and that's when our minds really start to tick. We start remembering all these things, these horrible things, these travesties that have happened to us in our lives. But in our dreams we are superheroes. In our dreams we can fix everything. We dream of revenge, we dream of payback. Just like that man, just like that we wake up and that's when reality starts to set in. That's when we go to the mirror and we look into it and remember that we are not superheroes and that we cannot fix everything. And so we bottle all this rage up inside of us and we go on living our dismal little lives as if nothing is wrong. But everything, everything, everything is wrong and I plan on fixing that.

You see, I used to have this mean old teacher and this teacher she used to look down upon me and she went to great measures to make sure that I remembered that I was a piece of trash and that I would never amount to anything in my life. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and that everything I believed in was a lie. So I went up to her and I said ‘Ms. Teacher Lady, what is it about you that makes you think that you're so much better than me?  Is it because your Mommy and Daddy paid for you to go to some fancy school so that you could wave this diploma around all of us?  So that you could look down upon children and force feed them propaganda?’ Well I say ‘na uh’.  She looked at me and she said ‘Bray Wyatt you are rotten, you stand for nothing.’ She said ‘Bray Wyatt the first time that I ever looked inside of your eyes I knew there was something inside of you. I knew that you were evil.’

But I'm proud to say that right now somewhere that teacher lady is rotting inside of some retirement home filled up with all of her life's regrets. But I Bray Wyatt stand in front of you here today as a conqueror, as a revolutionary, as the man of a thousand truths and I say ‘Miss teacher lady look at me right now. I got the HWF World title, the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship and the whole damn world in my hands.’

My ends justify my means.  Sting, welcome to Hell.”

Bray then drops the mic and leaves.

Brock Lesnar is pacing like a caged tiger backstage.  Master Bull walks over to him and tells him to chill.  Brock stares at him and says he doesn’t want to be in the main event tonight.  He wants his match right now so that he can leave and head home.  Bull says ok and tells him to head to the ring.

Our first match kicks off with Robbie E heading to the ring. He was wearing a brave façade but we could all see right through it.  Brock then heads to the ring and Robbie E just about peed himself.  Brock gets in the ring and rolls his neck from side to side.  We hear all this crackling at the announcer’s booth it was so loud.  The bell rings and Brock spends the next 22 minutes beating Robbie E down.  Robbie got a few shots in but in the end, it did little for him.  Brock choked Robbie on the ropes and then nails an F-5 for good measure.  He makes the cover and gets the win.  He grabs his title and immediately leaves.

In the back, Solomon Crowe approaches Master Bull and asks if he could get the vacant spot left from the Super Warrior.  Bull says he needs to think about it.

We head back to the ring and the Miz makes his way out.  He challenges Tajiri for his US title spot.  Tajiri comes out and gets in the ring.  Before the match could begin, the Fiend makes his way down and sits at color commentary.  Miz did not seem fazed by his former partner’s appearance.  Miz makes short work of Tajiri and in 11 minutes, catches Tajiri with a kick to the back of the head. He rolls him up and gets the 1-2-3.  The Miz has just taken Tajiri’s spot.  The Fiend gets up and stares at the Miz who just turns and ignores him and heads to the back.

There is a female fan at ringside holding a sign that says “Southern Belle is #1”  Belle comes out and gives her a hug and with a little tap on the chin, tells the fan she can do anything she wants.  Just put her mind to it and get it moving.  Gail Kim comes out and says she’s sorry to break up this little love fest (she is being sarcastically nasty) and says she wants her shot at the Diva’s title.  Belle says she’s not ready.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that Belle can’t hide behind her belt forever.  Belle says she’ll compromise and give Gail a non-title shot right now.  Gail says no and is the #1 contender.  She immediately attacks Belle.  Gail delivers a beating rarely seen.   Belle could not catch her breath.  She did manage for 20 minutes to successfully kick out of each pin attempt from the challenger.  Gail was going for a flying hurricanrana but Belle caught her in mid-air and nailed the Southern Swing.  She rolled her up and with a foot on the ropes, the ref counted 1-2-3.  Southern Belle retains her title.  She takes it and quickly heads to the back. (21 min)

The newest member of the HWF Donnie B meets up with Master Bull.  He tells Bull that the last time he met up with Bray Wyatt, he beat him for the HWF title and Bull ended up stripping him of it.  Donnie B says he can beat Bray and with the vacancy left by the Super Warrior, he wants that spot.  Bull says that lots of people do.  Bull says that Donnie B gets to take on Solomon Crowe and the winner gets that spot.

The next match is ‘The Original Big Daddy’ Donnie B taking on Solomon Crowe for the vacated HWF World title spot.  The match went 16 minutes total.  As each minute progressed, Donnie B got more and more vicious; taking it out on Solomon Crowe.  Finally, after the ref had taken a bump, Donnie B gets a chair and blasts Crowe with it.  Just as the ref is recovering, Donnie B makes the cover and gets the win.  The Caped Crusader appears on stage but just blankly stares and then turns around and leaves.

Master Bull calls both James Storm and Bobby Roode into his office and says that they are headlining the main event tonight.  Their match will be ‘I Quit’ rules. 

We head back to the ring where AJ Styles challenges Randy Orton for his spot.  Orton comes out and questions why he is being called out by Styles – someone who can’t defeat Kurt Angle.  The bell immediately rings and AJ hits him with the Styles Clash.  Orton falls out of the ring and does not answer the count.  AJ gets the win and the spot all under 30 seconds.  As AJ is leaving, Orton (finally recovered) runs up behind him and attacks AJ.  He hits AJ with an RKO on the stage.  Orton yells at him before turning and leaving.

MJ comes out first and says that it is bull that his team – the World Tag Team Champions – are not main eventing yet two schmucks such as Storm and Roode are.  So be it.  MJ introduces the Champs and the Ascension – Konnor and Viktor – make their way to the ring.  They are followed by the American Wolves.  The Ascension immediately attack the Wolves before the bell rings and beats them down.  Finally, the ref restores order and the match begins.  The Wolves battled back and took over early but the longer the match went on, it favored the champs.  Both teams beat the hell out of each other but their fight was interrupted by the familiar sound of a bell ringing.  They reached the 30 minute time limit.  Both teams, exhausted, left the ring on their own without further incident.

It is time for the main event.  This will be an I Quit match between James Storm and Bobby Roode.  Only one will walk away victorious (but really, this brutal match…does someone actually win?)  Storm begins by wrapping the microphone cord around Bobby’s neck and almost choked him out.  Storm stayed on the offense and kept Bobby on the defensive.  About the 8 minute mark, both men made their way out of the ring.  Roode reversed a whip and Storm ran smack into the ringside post.  Bobby picks him up and repeatedly rams his back into the unforgiving post.  Finally he rolls Storm back in.  Bobby locks in a Brutal Backbreaker and with all the damage done, Storm had no choice but to scream ‘I Quit’.  Bobby Roode, exhausted, leaves Storm behind and celebrates on his way up the ramp as the show comes to a close.

That is all we have for now.  Stay tuned for more action.