Friday, April 24, 2015

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.09


Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Before the show can begin, the HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt heads to the ring with mic in hand.    

“Sting, every night we lay our heads down to dream, and that's when our minds really start to tick. We start remembering all these things, these horrible things, these travesties that have happened to us in our lives. But in our dreams we are superheroes. In our dreams we can fix everything. We dream of revenge, we dream of payback. Just like that man, just like that we wake up and that's when reality starts to set in. That's when we go to the mirror and we look into it and remember that we are not superheroes and that we cannot fix everything. And so we bottle all this rage up inside of us and we go on living our dismal little lives as if nothing is wrong. But everything, everything, everything is wrong and I plan on fixing that.

You see, I used to have this mean old teacher and this teacher she used to look down upon me and she went to great measures to make sure that I remembered that I was a piece of trash and that I would never amount to anything in my life. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and that everything I believed in was a lie. So I went up to her and I said ‘Ms. Teacher Lady, what is it about you that makes you think that you're so much better than me?  Is it because your Mommy and Daddy paid for you to go to some fancy school so that you could wave this diploma around all of us?  So that you could look down upon children and force feed them propaganda?’ Well I say ‘na uh’.  She looked at me and she said ‘Bray Wyatt you are rotten, you stand for nothing.’ She said ‘Bray Wyatt the first time that I ever looked inside of your eyes I knew there was something inside of you. I knew that you were evil.’

But I'm proud to say that right now somewhere that teacher lady is rotting inside of some retirement home filled up with all of her life's regrets. But I Bray Wyatt stand in front of you here today as a conqueror, as a revolutionary, as the man of a thousand truths and I say ‘Miss teacher lady look at me right now. I got the HWF World title, the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship and the whole damn world in my hands.’

My ends justify my means.  Sting, welcome to Hell.”

Bray then drops the mic and leaves.

Brock Lesnar is pacing like a caged tiger backstage.  Master Bull walks over to him and tells him to chill.  Brock stares at him and says he doesn’t want to be in the main event tonight.  He wants his match right now so that he can leave and head home.  Bull says ok and tells him to head to the ring.

Our first match kicks off with Robbie E heading to the ring. He was wearing a brave façade but we could all see right through it.  Brock then heads to the ring and Robbie E just about peed himself.  Brock gets in the ring and rolls his neck from side to side.  We hear all this crackling at the announcer’s booth it was so loud.  The bell rings and Brock spends the next 22 minutes beating Robbie E down.  Robbie got a few shots in but in the end, it did little for him.  Brock choked Robbie on the ropes and then nails an F-5 for good measure.  He makes the cover and gets the win.  He grabs his title and immediately leaves.

In the back, Solomon Crowe approaches Master Bull and asks if he could get the vacant spot left from the Super Warrior.  Bull says he needs to think about it.

We head back to the ring and the Miz makes his way out.  He challenges Tajiri for his US title spot.  Tajiri comes out and gets in the ring.  Before the match could begin, the Fiend makes his way down and sits at color commentary.  Miz did not seem fazed by his former partner’s appearance.  Miz makes short work of Tajiri and in 11 minutes, catches Tajiri with a kick to the back of the head. He rolls him up and gets the 1-2-3.  The Miz has just taken Tajiri’s spot.  The Fiend gets up and stares at the Miz who just turns and ignores him and heads to the back.

There is a female fan at ringside holding a sign that says “Southern Belle is #1”  Belle comes out and gives her a hug and with a little tap on the chin, tells the fan she can do anything she wants.  Just put her mind to it and get it moving.  Gail Kim comes out and says she’s sorry to break up this little love fest (she is being sarcastically nasty) and says she wants her shot at the Diva’s title.  Belle says she’s not ready.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that Belle can’t hide behind her belt forever.  Belle says she’ll compromise and give Gail a non-title shot right now.  Gail says no and is the #1 contender.  She immediately attacks Belle.  Gail delivers a beating rarely seen.   Belle could not catch her breath.  She did manage for 20 minutes to successfully kick out of each pin attempt from the challenger.  Gail was going for a flying hurricanrana but Belle caught her in mid-air and nailed the Southern Swing.  She rolled her up and with a foot on the ropes, the ref counted 1-2-3.  Southern Belle retains her title.  She takes it and quickly heads to the back. (21 min)

The newest member of the HWF Donnie B meets up with Master Bull.  He tells Bull that the last time he met up with Bray Wyatt, he beat him for the HWF title and Bull ended up stripping him of it.  Donnie B says he can beat Bray and with the vacancy left by the Super Warrior, he wants that spot.  Bull says that lots of people do.  Bull says that Donnie B gets to take on Solomon Crowe and the winner gets that spot.

The next match is ‘The Original Big Daddy’ Donnie B taking on Solomon Crowe for the vacated HWF World title spot.  The match went 16 minutes total.  As each minute progressed, Donnie B got more and more vicious; taking it out on Solomon Crowe.  Finally, after the ref had taken a bump, Donnie B gets a chair and blasts Crowe with it.  Just as the ref is recovering, Donnie B makes the cover and gets the win.  The Caped Crusader appears on stage but just blankly stares and then turns around and leaves.

Master Bull calls both James Storm and Bobby Roode into his office and says that they are headlining the main event tonight.  Their match will be ‘I Quit’ rules. 

We head back to the ring where AJ Styles challenges Randy Orton for his spot.  Orton comes out and questions why he is being called out by Styles – someone who can’t defeat Kurt Angle.  The bell immediately rings and AJ hits him with the Styles Clash.  Orton falls out of the ring and does not answer the count.  AJ gets the win and the spot all under 30 seconds.  As AJ is leaving, Orton (finally recovered) runs up behind him and attacks AJ.  He hits AJ with an RKO on the stage.  Orton yells at him before turning and leaving.

MJ comes out first and says that it is bull that his team – the World Tag Team Champions – are not main eventing yet two schmucks such as Storm and Roode are.  So be it.  MJ introduces the Champs and the Ascension – Konnor and Viktor – make their way to the ring.  They are followed by the American Wolves.  The Ascension immediately attack the Wolves before the bell rings and beats them down.  Finally, the ref restores order and the match begins.  The Wolves battled back and took over early but the longer the match went on, it favored the champs.  Both teams beat the hell out of each other but their fight was interrupted by the familiar sound of a bell ringing.  They reached the 30 minute time limit.  Both teams, exhausted, left the ring on their own without further incident.

It is time for the main event.  This will be an I Quit match between James Storm and Bobby Roode.  Only one will walk away victorious (but really, this brutal match…does someone actually win?)  Storm begins by wrapping the microphone cord around Bobby’s neck and almost choked him out.  Storm stayed on the offense and kept Bobby on the defensive.  About the 8 minute mark, both men made their way out of the ring.  Roode reversed a whip and Storm ran smack into the ringside post.  Bobby picks him up and repeatedly rams his back into the unforgiving post.  Finally he rolls Storm back in.  Bobby locks in a Brutal Backbreaker and with all the damage done, Storm had no choice but to scream ‘I Quit’.  Bobby Roode, exhausted, leaves Storm behind and celebrates on his way up the ramp as the show comes to a close.


That is all we have for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

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