Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
We have a lot of action for you today.
King CJ was told he had to participate in the gauntlet match today
without making any more excuses or he’d be stripped of the World title and
fired. We did see him sulking around
backstage so we know he’s here. Also, we
know that both the Stache and the Wraith will be in the building today so it
will be interesting to see what happens next.
Our
action kicks off with the Crocodile Hunter taking on Adam Jameson in a
non-title match. These two put on a hell
of show and was a great way to kick off the show. The fans were on the edges of their seats for
the entire match. Lots of back and forth
action. Adam dropped Croc with lots of
Pele kicks and the Adam Clash but Croc battled back with lots of submission
attempts. Just as the time limit was
winding down, Croc hit Adam with the Croc’s Throne but then Ivan Dragovich came
out for the distraction. He jawjacked
with Croc just long enough for the time limit to expire. This one ends in a time limit draw. Ivan gets in the ring and beats down on Croc
but the Hunter battles back and dropkicks Ivan out of the ring. Croc grabs a mic and tells Ivan that he’s
poked the bear enough and at the next show, he will put the title on the line
and embarrass the hell out of Ivan so he tucks his tail between his legs and
runs back to Russia. (20 min draw)
We
cut to the back where we see the Stache enter the building. The fans pop for him based on his little
“home invasion” on the Wraith last episode.
As he gets further into the building, police officers meet him and then
ask “Is this the guy?” The Wraith comes
out from the shadows (hiding maybe) and says “Yes, this is the lunatic that
broke into my home, destroyed it and almost killed me.” The police then arrest the Stache all the
while the Wraith is laughing like a hyena.
As the Stache is escorted out, the Wraith hollers after him “Can you did
that sucka? HAHAHAHAHA. He turns around
and standing right there is GM Max McGillicutty. Max is not happy. The Wraith complains “Well, he did attack me
and destroy my property so he gets what’s coming to him.” Max tells the Wraith that he is wrestling
tonight. “Oh yeah, I got the perfect
opponent already in mind. He’s such a
badass that I’ll have a tough time with him.”
Max asks who. The Wraith replies
“Turnip. He is my opponent
tonight.” The Wraith walks away
laughing. Max heads back to his office.
Hollywood
Star & Bruce Biltmore head to the ring and say that they want another shot
at Hernandez and Wendell and this time they want a no DQ/CO match. Handsome Hernandez and Wendell Hammerschmidt
comes out saying that they’ve beaten the Star and “so-called gold standard”
twice now and they feel they have nothing to prove. Bruce questions their manhood until Hernandez
and Wendell accept. Bruce and the Star
tried their damndest but Hernandez and Wendell controlled the match for the
most part. Wendell slaps Bruce with the
Red Arrow but ends up getting tossed out of the ring. Wendell gets back in immediately tries for a
pin but the Star breaks it up. Hernandez
is back in and he and Wendell doubleteam Bruce.
Star tries for another save but keeps getting sent out of the ring. Wendell pulls Star out of the ring and hurls
him into the steel steps. Finally,
Hernandez climbs to the top rope and hits a moonsault. He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3. Handsome Hernandez and Wendell Hammerschmidt
win this one in solid fashion. (17 min)
Back
in his office, Max finishes a phone call and snickers. “Oh, this is going to be great” Max says
before getting up and walking out of his office.
The
Desperados (El Chango and Leon Teremoto) head to the ring. El Chango says that the one true Desperados
team needs to see action. They call out
for any challengers. Superquake &
Angry Jack accept and it looks like we have ourselves an impromptu match. The
Desperados totally owned Angry Jack and didn’t allow him to get any offense
in. After being beaten down for a few
minutes, he made the hot tag to Superquake and he began cleaning house. At the 5 minute mark, Superquake hurled Leon
out of the ring in a huge show of strength that got the fans chanting “Holy
S*it”. El Chango, not one to see his
team manhandled, grabbed a chair and blasted Superquake with it resulting in a
DQ. ‘Quake turned, seemingly unaffected
by the chair shot and nailed El Chango with a chokeslam. El Chango rolled out of the ring and he and
Leon crept up the ramp in shock.
Superquake and Jack sort of celebrated by posing and flexing in the ring
but the fans really didn’t care. (5 min)
The
Steel Curtain and Biceps talk about their match tonight against the
Hubers. Starbuck says that this match
will be no different than against the 5th Column and they will be
victorious again tonight. Biceps is in
the back going Woo Woo Woo and Buzz ends with “Word”.
We
go back to the ring and the Wraith makes his way out. He points to his head (presumably telling us
how smart he is) and gets in the ring.
Turnip comes out and he does not want to be in this match but he is told
he has no choice. The Wraith says to
give Turnip a change, it will be a no DQ match.
He laughs. The Wraith began
beating Turnip all over the ring. Poor
Emerson only got in 4 moves for the entire match. The Wraith kept dropping Turnip with backhand
chops and when going for the pin, he would pull Turnip up after a two
count. The fans by now are trying to
start a “Turnip” chant but it doesn’t do any good. Commotion erupts from the crowd as the Stache
(freed from the police, I’m guessing, from Max’s phone call) rushes the ring
and nails the Wraith with multiple clotheslines and then a piledriver. The Stache pulls Emerson over and drops him
on top of the Wraith. He leaves the ring
as the ref counts 1…2….3. Turnip gets
the win! UNBELIEVABLE! The Stache gets back in the ring and raises
Emerson’s arm and then helps him from the ring.
(11 min). The Wraith eventually
recovers and heads to the back all pissed off.
The
Omegatron lights up again with the announcement of the 3rd member of
the 2016 Hall of Fame. It is none other
than the Negronomicon. For those who
don’t remember, Negronomicon left to go start his own federation but his plane
got caught in the Bermuda Triangle and was never seen from again. We assume his induction will be In
Memoriam. It is then announced that the
Super Warrior will be inducted by his one-time rival Mohammed Hassan.
It
is time for our Gauntlet Match. The
rules are announced. King CJ has to
wrestle 3 times tonight and if he loses, he will have to defend his title
against the man who beat him. Each match
will have a 20 minute time limit. If he
wins, he does not have to defend the World title until the PPV next month. King CJ makes his way out and is booed pretty
heavily. His first opponent tonight is
the Axe. Axe comes out and the two go
toe to toe. CJ proved his stamina by
taking the Axe to a 20 minute draw. Axe
left disappointed. Next, Outback Oscar
made his way out and that match basically went the same way but Wilber Townsend
made his way out and distracted Oscar.
CJ then threw Oscar out of the ring and distracted the ref. Wilber then dropped Oscar with the “Brother
Love’s Traveling Salvation Show” and Oscar ended up getting counted out at the
15 minute mark. Finally, Sonic Blade
came out for the third match. CJ was
definitely dragging and Sonic looked fresh.
Sonic bounced CJ all of the ring and looked really strong. CJ got lucky when Sonic tossed him into the
corner and then charged but CJ moved and Sonic hit the corner hard. He staggered out of the corner and CJ nailed
him with a flying dropkick. He then
hooked the tights (ref didn’t see) and put his feet on the middle rope for
leverage. The ref counted 1..2..3. King CJ wins this one in crooked
fashion. Sonic tried to tell the ref the
tights were hooked but the ref left with CJ.
CJ handed something to the ref (a payout???) and the two of them
left. Sonic left the ring pissed
off. (48 min total for all 3 matches)
We
got an update on the Fiend after the attack by Phat Sol. The Fiend seems to have recovered pretty well
but was not happy about the fact that the Ambassador bought his contract only
to bury him. He said he had some stuff
to think about before returning to the ring.
It
is time for the Main Event. First, the
Huber Clan (Butch, Junior and Ferb) came out with Wilber Townsend. Wilber got on the mic and said that tonight,
the Hubers will make him proud when they bring that 6 man tag team trophy home
to them. He is interrupted when Biceps
Bannerman and the Steel Curtain made their way out. As
they make their way to the ring, the Muscles Trio attack them and beat them
down before tossing them into the ring.
It only took about a minute for the champs to shake off the cobwebs and
they just dismantled the Hubers. Outback
Oscar ended up brawling with Wilber Townsend and the two fought to the
back. In the middle of the horrendous
beating, somehow Junior Huber had the presence of mind to throw Starbuck Steel
out of the ring. The Muscles Trio were
on him line flies at a BBQ. They beat
him down while the Hubers distracted the ref.
Finally Buzz and Biceps had enough and chased off the Muscles Trio but
the damage was done. Starbuck ended up
getting counted out. The Huber Clan gets
the win via a countout but the trophy does not change hands. The Hubers tried to attack Starbuck but Buzz
and Biceps grabbed chairs and chased them from the ring. Starbuck called for a mic. “Muscles Trio! You scumbags!
You run around pretending to be a tough team but all you do is cheat and
lie. Eddie Guerrero, none of you are.” (the crowd pops) “Listen, Buzz here loves to talk on the mic
and has a real knack for it and normally I’d let him go to town on your sorry
asses but I feel I just has to give my two cents. Huey, Dewey and Louie are nothing more than
cartoon characters posing as wrestlers.
Listen, the gist of this is… Muscles Trio…I am putting the challenge out
there RIGHT NOW that we – The Steel Curtain and the biggest man in the sport
Biceps Bannerman want YOU at Reign of Champions. Plain and simple…we will beat the crap out of
you and you will become an afterthought.”
Buzz steps over and says “WOO WOO WOO” and Biceps leans in and says “Word”. The three leave the ring. (21 /2 min for the match; 30 for the segment)
Just
as the show is coming to an end, we hear a commotion taking place
backstage. The Wraith attacks Emerson
backstage and beats him down. The Stache
(not sure why he didn’t help this time) was standing by with Police of his own
and after witnessing the beatdown, they arrested the Wraith for assault and
battery. This time, the Stache laughed
as the Wraith was taken away in handcuffs. The show ends with the Stache smiling and
waving as the Wraith departs in the back of the police car.
That’s
all for now. Be sure to stay tuned for
more action.
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