Sunday, July 3, 2016

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2016 #486


Hello fans and welcome back to our special Independence Day show.   Today’s show will be a must-see as King CJ makes his return to the ring.  The show kicks off with his Royalness’ music obnoxiously blasting through the speakers and the Hashtag – King CJ – makes his way to the ring.  

“Finallllllly the king....the hash tag has made it back to live television” (he waits for the cheers)…“and wow what a waste of time it is!!!!” (The fans seem confused.  They stop cheering and begin booing him.) “Truly the .hwf...xfl...pms...wait what the hell is this even called??!!! The cheap short sided visions of 2 wannabees behind the desk has left a once reputable, respectable, proud rock in the sports entertainment to what a couple of geeky tech and fan boys in tights??? Ohhh and dont forget the names these losers are coming up with...this looks like the discount rack at your neighborhood piggly wiggly in this podunk back woods town...why am i even here...ohhhh i know because they want to use my name and talent as their new rise to fame!!!! Once again the hashtag is not amused...you 2 morons didnt have enough sense or balls to try to resurrect some washed up old time like hollywood WHOgan or a member of the original four decades ago horsemen...bring back the lame-os from the totally nonsense action crap (shakes his head in disbelief)... so as your king of the ring ...the only legitimate talent and superstar here i am here to DEMAND answers, respect and a gold strap!!! So geek fan boy and fat a55 make this happen or believe me your king...the hashtag maybe taking his talents, and any chance you have at being close to relevant, elsewhere...so ill give you a minute to swallow that burger...get your fat a55 from behind that buffet you call a desk and roll your asses down the isle way..and hopefully it doesnt take all night or you might lose both the losers in the audience and the fat chicks with them”....(he waits for like 5 seconds and then drops the mic rolls out the ring flipping everyone off).

World Champion Axe is backstage and he says he will accept the match.  GM Max McGillicutty says this will be our main event.

The Muscles Trio arrive and tell the cabbie to bring their luggage to their dressing room while they go check out the match lineup for the night.  Just as the cabbie was unloading the bags, the Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) arrive.  They tip the cabbie and say they’ll take care of the bags.  Buzz and Starbuck smile and nod and haul the stuff in.

Our first match of the night kicks off with Ant Graham coming out. He introduces Karl Braun and says he will destroy Biceps Bannerman and then the 5th Column will challenge for the 6 Man Tag Team Titles.  Graham and Braun head to the ring amidst the booing from the fans.  Biceps Bannerman comes out and the fans pop huge.  As expected, Ant Graham interfered multiple times but it was the last one that spelled doom for the manager.  After Graham was done choking Biceps in the corner, Biceps hit Ant with an elbow smash that sent him flying to the floor.  He followed him out and nailed Ant with a Dominator on the floor.  He was done and out.  Biceps re-entered the ring and cleaned house just annihilating Braun.  Before we knew it, the time limit was almost out.  Bannerman caught Braun in a Biceps Crunch (bearhug) but Braun didn’t tap.  Biceps then hit a full nelson lift & slam.  He made the cover and the ref counted 1...2…3 just before the time limit ran out.  Biceps gets the win at 19:57.   The rest of the 5th Column (Ivan, Oswald and the Baron) ran down but Biceps left before they could do anything.  Baron von Blood gets on the mic and tells Biceps and the Steel Curtain to prepare for the 5th Column.
                                                                
Backstage, the Steel Curtain dropped off the Muscles Trio bags and after zipping the bags back up, they looked around before leaving the room.

We go back to the ring for the next match.  Former Hardcore Champion Drew, the Canadian Love Machine came out and called out Chic Monroe for interfering in his match.  He challenged the US champion right then and there but Chic said now that Drew was no longer a champion, he didn’t deserve anything.  Drew says he’ll take a non-title match and if he wins, he wants his title shot.  Chic agrees and we have our next match.  Drew took the match to Chic and he was not prepared for the onslaught that Drew brought to this match.  It only took 13 minutes and a Lover Bomb to put Chic down for the 3 count.  Drew wins and it looks like he will be next in line for a shot at the US title.  Chic better be prepared.

Ravishing Raquel is backstage with Master Bull and she says that the only thing Lady Hermann had right was that she underestimated the Ladies Champion.  She says that tonight, she takes on Lady Hermann in challenge for her spot in the top 10.  Raquel says she will not make the same mistake twice.

We go back to the ring for our next match.  First, Ant Graham comes out with the 5th Column (Ivan Dragovich, the Iron Cross Oswald Zimmerman and Baron von Blood).  Graham says that this match is to see who gets the next shot at the 6 Man titles.   Next, the Muscles Trio (Muscles McGuire, Weasley and Thorpe) make their way out but they appear to have issues.  They are scratching all over.  It appears that someone (I wonder who) put itching powder in the outfits of the Muscles. It was pretty funny watching them scratch each other as well as rub up against the ring trying to get that elusive itch.  Baron and Thorpe start off but Thorpe can’t get rid of his itch.  He jumped out of the ring and the Muscles Trio ran to the back presumably to take showers.  The 5th Column get the win here in just 30 seconds and will be first in line for a shot at the 6 man tag team trophy.

Clarkus Kentus is backstage with the World Champion the Axe.  Axe says that he’s ready to take on the King but only one of them get to walk out with the title.  Axe says with confidence that he will be the one with his arm raised.

It’s time to go back to the ring for the next match.  Ravishing Raquel comes out with her advisor Master Bull first to a pop from the crowd.   Lady Hermann comes out next and the fans react negatively.  Lady Hermann stops at the stage and she is joined by the Queen’s Court (Queen Beckett and the Ladies Champion the British Crippler).  All make their way to ringside and the Queen and the champ sit at commentary.   Both women fought like the world is at stake.  Master Bull was able to assist but the time limit was not on either person’s side.  Both put their all into the match but time quickly ran out and this one ended in a draw.  Lady Hermann said that she is proud to take on her Court teammate but the Crippler actually seems a bit disappointed as she was (secretly) pulling for Raquel to win.  (20 min draw)

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that tonight’s match is one for ages.  He says he’s making a change to tonight’s main event.  Tonight, the Axe will have 60 minutes and 3 falls to win or lose the match tonight. 

Music hits and out comes the Hashtag King CJ.  He is booed heavily and he smirks at Max as he saunters down to the ring. Music changes and out comes the World Champion.  The Axe is once again accompanied by his son to the ring.  King CJ wasted no time in immediately attacking the champ before he could get to the ring but the Axe fought him off and once both men entered the ring, the match began.

This was a true slobberknocker that saw King CJ pull out every dirty trick from the book.  He would choke the Axe in the corner, eye gouge and flail away with punches.  At the 4 minute mark, CJ took the Axe to the outside of the ring and after slamming him into the steel steps, he rolled back in to beat the 10 count.  King CJ wins the first fall by countout.  The Axe recovered and re-entered the ring.  Before the second fall could begin, GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that the first fall cannot be the tie as a title would not change hands anyway on a countout so he removes the no DQ rule.  Max says that in order to win the belt, CJ has to win the next two falls.  The second fall began and this must have turned something on within the King. He really went to town on the Axe and try as he could, he could not stop the ferocity that CJ brought to the ring.  After stunning the Axe with a neck snap, he removed the padding on the top turnbuckle.  He then hurled Axe into it but Axe reversed it and tried to hurl CJ into the corner but he reversed it again and Axe hit the exposed bracket hard.  CJ then went out of the ring and grabbed the arms of the Axe and pulled him hard into the steel post.  CJ then climbed back in and pulled Axe to the center of the ring where he applied the guillotine choke.  After about 15 seconds of struggling, Axe tapped out.  CJ just got the next fall but still has one left to go.  (15 min)  The third fall was by far the longest but once again, the King controlled the match.  The Axe got close to a pin after nearly taking off the King’s head with the Axe but CJ knew where he was at all times and instantly grabbed the ropes.  The battle would go on for 20 minutes until King CJ hit the Axe with another neck snap.  Axe picked up King CJ and tried to lock him in a bearhug but the King weaseled out of it and hit a low blow (the ref did not see it) and locked in the guillotine choke again.  The Axe struggled to get to the ropes but CJ had him dead center in the ring.  The Axe then tapped out once again and the third fall came to an end and so did the Axe’s run as champion.  King CJ is awarded the final fall and has become the NEW WORLD CHAMPION!!!  The Axe and his son made their way to the back.  The fans were irate and began throwing anything not bolted down at him in the ring.   CJ didn’t care as he put his robe and crown back on and stood in the ring holding the World title as the show came to an end.  (39 min total)


That’s all for now.  Stay tuned for more action to come.

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