Hello
fans and welcome back to our first newsletter of 2015. For those of you who are joining us for the
first time, welcome aboard. We are
entering our 10th year of publishing these wonderful pieces of
journalism you read 2x a week. Last
year’s Starcade PPV exceeded all expectations and even allowed the owners to
distribute bonuses to everyone AND still take home a nice profit. After the last newsletter posted on Christmas
Eve, Donnie B and Jeff Meyers gave everyone the remainder of the year off. For those who stayed and wrestled in Glasgow,
Scotland, they too got an early gift…they all got to fly home first class to
the destination of their choice. Everyone
was expected to return and be ready to go when the HWF and CSWA were ready to start
the shows back up. Master Bull and Hulk
Hogan have been having conversations about possibly running federation specific
shows. Nothing has been decided upon as
of this writing but that is how everything started off in 2003. It will be interesting to see if they go back
to that format. I, for one, like the
idea of mixed cards.
After
Hulk Hogan lost the full GM rights, it also means his CWO (Corporate World
Order) has been disbanded. The 6 Man tag
team champions the A-Team (Antonio Cesaro, Austin Aries & Abyss) were
integrated into the CSWA roster so Hogan still can ‘manage’ them if he chooses. Pick and the Axe, when they return from
England (if they return), will be integrated into the HWF. Also being added to the HWF roster is
newcomer The Stache. He will be teaming
with El Chango and their team name will be the Desperados.
The
first show of the year takes place in Nashville, TN – the home of the Southern
Belle. Belle comes out to kick off the
show. She gets a big pop but is
interrupted by Madison Rayne. Madison
says that she is looking forward to beating that smile right off her face. She bitch slaps Belle who begins to ‘Hulk’ up
and Madison bails out of the ring laughing at her. These two will face off later tonight.
Master
Bull makes his way out and says that Sting and Brock Lesnar will have a ‘Best
of 7’ series to determine who gets the next title shot at HWF World Champion
Bray Wyatt. Brock Lesnar comes out and
basically threatens to tear Bull’s arms out of its sockets. Brock says he is the #1 contender and this
best of series is all CRAP. Sting comes
out and chases Brock from the ring.
Sting says he’s just fine with beating the Beast as many times as it
takes for him to get the World title shot.
Everyone eventually leaves and we have our first match of the night.
First,
out comes Madison Rayne who is flipping off the Nashville crowd calling them
hicks. Country music begins to play and
out comes The Southern Belle who is accompanied to the ring by Fusion
Valentine Belle is high-fiving the fans
as Fusion waves. Belle gets in the ring
but Madison attacks her before the bell.
All of a sudden, the Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and Angelina Love)
make their way down to the ring. Fusion
sees them as begins to wonder. Madison
sees them and jumps out of the ring to meet her former teammates (Madison used
to be a member of the Beautiful People).
Angelina says they are wanting to expand their rankings and are looking
for good, powerful women to join them.
Both women pulled out all the stops but neither could get the 3
count. Madison had Belle trapped in the
ropes and then started to hit her with chops to the chest. Belle began to lose it. She ‘hulked’ up, freed herself and then tore
into Madison. After choking Madison on
the ropes, she nailed a vicious eye rake and then rolled her up for the
1-2-3. Southern Belle gets her first
ever win in 19 minutes. Fusion jumps in
the ring to calm her down. As Belle is
settling down, they look and notice that Velvet and Angelina left. I wonder if that means she isn’t being
considered.
Christian
comes out and says that he has had a fantastic run in the HWF and CSWA but due
to injuries just not healing like they’re supposed to, he has decided to end
his career. He has spoken to GM Hulk
Hogan and the agreed that Christian’s next match will be his last. Captain Charisma requests his final match be
against World Champion Kurt Angle. GM
Hulk Hogan says that Christian is not a top contender so it won’t be for the
title but this would be a good way to start off 2015 and this is made the main
event of the night.
We
are ready for our second bout and Team Rob (Robbie E and Rob Terry) come out
for their match. Old west music plays
through the speakers and out comes their opponents The Desperados – The Stache
and El Chango. Stache is wearing a mask
that only reveals his eyes and, of course, his stache. El Chango is dressed very similar. The Stache and El Chango hit the ring and the
match begins. This was another very
close match that saw several near falls but no one securing the win. At the 23 minute mark, the Stache rakes the
head of Robbie E with some spurs and El Chango nails a diving spear that drives
Robbie E right out of the ring. The ref
counts and reaches 10 counting Team Rob out and awarding the win via CO to the
Desperados.
All
of a sudden, two HUGE guys hit the ring and blow right through the Stache and
El Chango. As Robbie E and Rob Terry
were leaving, these two behemoths plowed through them too and then ran to the
back. We didn’t get a good look at who
they are. HMMM.
In
the back, the Beautiful People are being interviewed and Angelina says she
wants a shot at AJ’s Women’s title. Once
she wins it, the Beautiful People will have gold once more. When asked about what they thought of
Southern Belle, Velvet replied “Ehh, I’ve seen better. I will tell you, Madison, sweetie, you really
need to brush up on your game.” They
laughed and left.
We
are ready for the next match which has Wyatt’s Warriors (Super Warrior and
Warrior of Truth) making their way to the ring.
As they are waiting for their opponents, those two HUGE guys ran down
and decimated the Warriors. A tall man
is walking down to the ring. Wait, I
recognize him…that’s Superfan Marc. What
is he doing here? Marc gets in the ring.
“That’s enough.” The two big guys end
their assault. “My name is MJ. This here is MY team. I call them Konnor and Viktor. You can call them the Ascension. The Ascension is here to put the Tag Team
world on notice and send out a FedEx to the champs Donnie B and MW3 that THESE
guys are the future of the sport. Hide
behind your belts all you want because MY team wants those titles and as soon
as you step in the ring with them, they will be ours.” MJ and the Ascension then leave the massacre
behind.
Master
Bull is being interviewed and he says that the contract signing between Brock
and Sting is coming up next.
We
make our way back to the ring where a table and chairs have been set up. Master Bull makes his way out first and then
is followed by Sting. Brock’s music hits
but he doesn’t show up. Bull gets on the
mic and tells Brock that if he doesn’t come out here and sign this contract, he
will be fired for neglect of duty. Brock
then storms down to the ring. Sting had
already signed the document. Brock grabs
the pen and then signs it too. Sting
then jumps on top of Brock but Brock hurls him out of the ring. He then turns and looks at Master Bull. He grabs the GM and then sets him up for the
F-5 but Sting is back in for the save.
The two brawl until a dropkick from the Stinger sends Brock out of the
ring. Brock is pissed. I’m sure he’ll be taking that aggression out
on the Icon.
Next
on the card is the Miz w/The Fiend vs Ken Anderson. The Fiend was on hand to offer advice to his
tag team partner and it paid off in spades.
Anderson could not figure out Miz’s wrestling method and was thrown off
the entire match. This one went 20
minutes with the latter half of the match being spent schooling Anderson. Finally, Miz nails a snap DDT and makes the
cover for the 1-2-3. The Miz gets a win.
Back
in the interview area, the HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt has words for Kurt
Angle. Bray says he was cheated out of
the Undisputed Heavyweight title. He
claims he never should have lost it. He
promises to make Kurt Angle’s life a living hell.
Back
to the ring for more action with the new team of #ConanJones & Casey Jones (aka
Brothas from diff’rent muthas) taking on Adrian Neville and Adam Rose. Neville and Rose came out first. # came out with a mic. “We are the team of the decade. We are…Brothas from diff’rent muthas!” Casey turns to him and says “we’re NOT
brothers. How many times do I have to tell
you that?” The Jones Boys hit the ring
and are ready for action. This one goes
the distance but if wrestling matches were judged on points like MMA is, the
Jones Boys would have had the edge.
After the grueling 30 minute battle and 4 exhausted men in the ring, the
Ascension hit the ring again and destroy all 4 men. They stand tall and call out the champs. After no response from the tag team champs,
the Ascension eventually leave.
It
is time for the main event. First out is
Captain Charisma Christian taking on the CSWA World Champion and Undisputed
Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle. GM Hulk
Hogan has said this would be a non-title match.
The match started off even but then HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt came
out. He sat at ringside (he had a
ticket) and scouted the match. Every
once in a while he would stand up and that would throw Kurt off his game. Finally, Kurt had enough and jumped out of
the ring. He got in Bray’s face and
hurled him into the crowd. He got back
in the ring and Christian nailed a diving European uppercut to the champ. Christian makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3
at the 14 minute mark. Christian wins
his final match. We wish him all the
best in his future endeavors. This
brings an end to our first show of the year.
2015 promises to be better than 2014 so stay tuned.
Editor’s
note: The HWF and CSWA have made some
roster changes.
To
the HWF: Zack Ryder, the Ascension,
& Curtis Axel
To
the CSWA: Bram, MVP & Chris Jericho
Also,
for those of you who are joining us for the first time or just need a refresher,
here is a list of the characters who are made up. If someone is not on this list, then they are
considered “real”.
Male
Wrestlers
#ConanJones,
‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild, Casey Jones, Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon, El Chango,
Master Bull, MW3, Senor Vampiro, Super Warrior, The Axe, ‘The Original Big
Daddy’ Donnie B, the Stache & MJ.
Female
Wrestlers
Cactus
Jackie, Fusion Valentine, Ravishing Raquel, Southern Belle, & Spider Violet
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