Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
The show begins with a limo pulling up in the garage. The door opens and we hear “Turn that damn
thing off!” The camera goes dark so we
don’t know who just arrived. Is it
perhaps one of our mystery callers?
Today’s
show kicks off with a title match with Diva’s Champion Brie Bella taking on
Summer Rae. Brie is accompanied to the
ring by her sister Nikki but Taylor is not there. Brie says that since she agreed to kick off
the show, she says that the best of 3 falls, 30 min time limit applies. Summer Rae then proceed to beat the crap out
of Brie and it only took her 9 min after choking her in the corner with her
foot to pull her to the center of the ring and get the pin. Summer is up 1-0 right now. Summer continued the beatdown (never thought
she had it in her) and in a move of desperation, while Brie was on the outside
of the ring, Nikki pulled a switch and immediately rolled her up for the 1-2-3
at the 10 minute mark. Nikki immediately
rolled out of the ring to avoid being caught.
Summer was very pissed off and once again took it out on the champ for
the remaining 11 minutes. However, it wasn’t enough to score a pin so this one
ends in a time limit draw. Brie takes
her title and she and Nikki hightail it to the back. (30 min)
In
the back, GM Max McGillicutty is giving guidance on running the show when a
voice from off camera says “We need to talk…now!” Before the camera can turn and show us who it
is, Max asks the cameraman to turn it off.
The picture goes black and Max says “My office is this way.”
Resuming
in ring action, Diva Maria takes on Naomi.
Maria is accompanied to the ring by Mike Bennett. The match begins with Maria taking the lead
and about half way through tosses Naomi out of the ring. After dusting herself off, she tries to go
back into the ring but Mike Bennett stands in her way. She tries to go around but he matches her
moves. Finally she sneaks by and gets in
the ring by the 8 count only to be attacked by Maria. Naomi gets in a good shot that led to a 2
count but Maria came back and after hitting a Seeing Stars calf kick, she
covered Naomi who put her foot on the bottom rope but Mike Bennett was quick to
push it off and Maria gets the win.
Maria kicked Naomi out of the ring and she and Mike celebrated and then
left. (17 min)
Back
in Max’s office, Max is sitting down and the camera turns and it’s…what the
hell…Stephanie McMahon from the WWE.
What the hell is she doing here?
Stephanie berates Max for not returning the calls that the WWE had been
making to them over the last few weeks.
Max says that he passed along the messages to the owners. Stephanie asks “Just who runs this CRAP-ASS
show anyway?” and has an evil smirk on her face. Max stands up and SLAMS his hands on the desk
and tells Stephanie to leave. “This is
the only time I’ll ask nicely. Next
time, you’ll be escorted out.”
Stephanie’s sneer expands and she storms out of the office. Max starts rubbing his eyes and forehead and
after letting out a huge sigh, picks up the phone as the camera fades out.
Elsewhere
in the back, Maria and Mike Bennett are still celebrating when Layla El walks
over. She chides Maria for winning in
such fashion and Maria gets in her face and says “Anytime, Anywhere” and Layla
responds “Good, next week it is” and walks away. Maria looks at Mike who says “Don’t
worry…you’ve got this.”
Our
next title match up is next. Challenger
and member of the Varsity Club Frankie Kazarian heads to the ring. Music changes and out comes the Hardcore
Champ the Stache. The Stache is getting
a very mixed reaction from the fans which is very confusing to this
writer. The ref asks the Stache what
kind of Hardcore rules he wants this to be and he responds with “Ladder
match”. The ref takes the title and has
it hoisted above the ring. Kazarian and
the Stache went at it with the champ controlling the match. The Stache hit a baseball slide into the
ladder and went for a quick pin but Frankie kicked out at 1. This went on for 9 minutes until Stache
climbed the ladder and hit a top rung legdrop.
It looks like he may have hurt himself with that move. He makes the cover (slowly) and gets the 3
count. Now he has to climb the
ladder. He starts up slowly which gives
Frankie time to recover and stop him.
Stache pulls Frankie up with him and nails a 12’ facebuster. Frankie’s head hits the ladder and he’s
bloodied up. HOLY SHIT chants ring throughout the building. Stache puts Frankie in between the ladder and
then locks in the Handlebar (camel clutch but Frankie won’t tap. Stache goes for the tombstone piledriver but
Frankie wiggles out. Stache hits
Frankie with the whiplash (snap suplex) onto the ladder. He drops a forearm to Kazarian’s face. Stache then climbs the ladder and retrieves
his belt and this one is over. The Stache
retains the title and now the fans actually pop for him. Very weird.
Stache makes his way to the back as medics tend to Kaz. (15 min)
In
the back, the Desperados (El Chango and Leon Teremoto) respond to challenge
from CJ/Kane/Big Show. They say they
will accept the challenge. A battered
Stache enters the picture and El Chango questions if he is really with them or
not. The Stache says he was just in a
hellacious match but El Chango tells him to quit making excuses and man
up. El Chango and Leon then leave
without him.
We
head back to the ring for the next match which has The Fiend taking on Erick
Rowan in a cross promotional match. The
Miz makes his way out and tells the Fiend he’ll be sitting at ringside and he’d
better not screw this one up. It really
took no time at all for Rowan to pummel the crap out of the Fiend and finish
him off with a Full Nelson Slam. (5
min). After the match, the Miz enters
the ring and tells the Fiend that he is no longer associated with him and the MizFits
are done for good this time. He turns
his back and starts to leave. The Fiend,
who seems to be fed up with the Miz grabs him by the shoulder and spins him
around. He starts to yell at the Miz and
when Miz turned away again, the Fiend hits him with the Devil’s Rain
(neckbreaker). The Fiend yells at the
Miz a bit more before leaving. (5 min
for the segment)
The
Ascension with MJ are in the back and they say that tonight, they cash in their
Money in the Bank contract for this title match. They say to make it as fair as possible so
the Desperados don’t cry about it, they will agree to a best of 3 falls 60 min
time limit match. MJ says that tonight,
the Ascension goes back to the top where they belong.
The
next match on the card is Eric Young taking on Adam Rose. Rose said he didn’t need Abyss as he was the
weight holding him back. Rose
immediately took the battle to Eric who just couldn’t find his groove. Rose beat him from pillar to post for 18
minutes and finally put an end to the match after hitting a Hangman’s
Facebuster. Rose gets the 3 count but
then in from the crowd runs Abyss. He
attacks Adam Rose and the two fight all the way to the back.
The
fight continues backstage. Police were
on hand and Rose says that Abyss assaulted him and wants to press charges. He has Abyss arrested and escorted out of the
building. Rose dusts himself off and
smiles before walking off camera.
It
is time for our Main Event: The
Desperados defend the tag titles against the Ascension (MitB cash in). The Desperados and MJ come out first and they
are booed heavily. MJ flips off the fans
as he guides his team to the ring. Music
changes and out comes the World Tag Team Champions El Chango & Leon
Teremoto – the Desperados (minus the Stache).
This will be a best of 3 falls, 60 min time limit match. Right off the bat, the Desperados attack El
Chango and injure him. Oh CRAP, he is
out of commission. Viktor and Konnor
then doubleteam Leon and hit the Fall of Man.
Viktor then tosses Leon out of the ring where he gets counted out at the
2 minute mark. The Ascension get the
first fall. Konnor tosses Leon back in
the ring and the bell sounds. Leon just
got dominated and with El Chango still hurt, he wasn’t able to help his partner
at all. He Ascension just demolished
Leon. El Chango finally made the hot tag
but double teaming from the Ascension limited his ability to get anything
done. Leon, seeing that El Chango was
hurt, tagged himself in to prevent any further damage to his tag team
partner. The Ascension were on him like
sharks in blood soaked waters. Leon
wasn’t in much better shape and then Konnor nearly takes off Leon’s head with
an European uppercut. Leon was out cold. Konnor made the cover and at the 16 minute
mark, gets the 1-2-3 and the Ascension are now the NEW World Tag Team
Champions. MJ runs around the ring
screaming “I told you so” as the new champs dispose of Leon and El Chango and
stand victorious in the ring. The show
then comes to an end.
Thanks
for reading. Stay tuned as the action is
really heating up.
LATE
BREAKING NEWS: Phat Sol has a taped
response for Dr. Red Fang. “Fang, you
attacked me but you didn’t get the job done.
You want me in the ring?
Fine! You want a shot at my
title? Fine. You ready for the beatdown of a lifetime? You bet!
I’ll see you in the ring.” Fade
out.
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