Hello fans and
welcome to our latest show (8/30/14). We
are coming to you from Knoxville, TN on the Birthday of the owner of the HWF
and CSWA – Donnie B. GM Hulk Hogan said
he would not be attending the show (kind of a slap in the face, don’t you
think?) so standing in for him (again) is everyone’s favorite hitman – Psycho
Jack Hercules.
Owners
Donnie B and Jeff Meyers arrive onsite and are greeting by a host of wrestlers
including Mr. Suck Up himself Psycho Jack.
Psycho Jack shows the owners to their dressing rooms and then makes his
way out to start up the show. He is
stopped by Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt.
Wyatt tells Jack he has a new stable mate starting tonight and needs to
have his contract signed. Bray tells
Jack that Hogan approved it but forgot to sign.
Psycho Jack signs the form and then hurries to start the show. Bray smiles and turns and says “All right,
let’s get ready.”
Out on stage,
Psycho Jack is getting the crowd excited for today’s show but wandering around
in the back is Malo Leche de Mantequilla.
Malo walks by a dressing room and thinks he hears a familiar voice. He peeks in (creepy stalker) and is shocked
at what he sees. He mutters
“sonofabitch” and then we see the wheels start turning. He pulls out a camera (again, creepy) and
takes some pictures. One of the members
in the room peers outside (we don’t see his face) but no one is there. Hmm.
Back on stage,
Psycho Jack states that GM Hogan has said that each and every member of the
A-Team (Adam Rose, Antonio Cesaro, Abyss and ‘the Man’ Austin Aries) is getting
a title shot tonight. He has faith his
team will bring home some gold.
The first match
of the night is VamChango defending the Tag Team titles against Beer
Money. Before the match can start, Dirk
‘the Pick’ Devon and Psycho Jack Hercules make their way out and say that this
match is now a 3 way battle for the titles.
Before the bell can ring, out comes The Axe and his new partner Roman
Reigns. They chase off Devon and Psycho
Jack. I guess that means the match is
back to a normal tag match. Needless to
say, Beer Money was killing the champs.
I have never seen such a one sided match (since real Brock Lesnar vs
John Cena). The beating continued for 11
minutes. Finally, the champs turned on
the offense. Senor Vampiro handcuffed
Storm to the ringpost. El Chango hurled
Bobby Roode out of the ring and then nailed the Diamond Dust. VamChango gets back in the ring but Roode
can’t make it back in and is counted out.
VamChango retain their titles.
Alexander Rusev,
the Elitist Champion and his new partner Tajiri come out. They tell Prestige Inc. they accept the
challenge for a 6 man tag team match but they are one member short. Rusev tells Prestige that he has some “bad
news” for them and introduces the newest member of their team – Bad New (Wade)
Barrett. Barrett puts himself over as
England’s greatest contribution to wrestling; Rusev as an unbeatable Bulgarian
and Tajiri as Japan’s greatest export.
They will be happy to take on Prestige Inc. and send them packing.
The World’s
Strongest Man and owner of the North American title comes out and says that he
owes the Caped Crusader an apology. He
would like CC to come out but instead, out comes the former NA champion and
A-Team member Abyss. Abyss says he is
invoking his rematch clause and that match is happening now – and it is a no-DQ
match. Abyss began choking out the champ
and the ref couldn’t do anything about it.
Out then comes the Caped Crusader who can’t stand by while wrong doing
is happening in the ring. He hops in and
nails Abyss with the Wam!Bam!Pow! and Abyss goes down. Mark Henry looks over and nods. CC nods back and leaves. Henry climbs to the top rope and hits a
splash. 3 seconds later Mark Henry is
declared the winner and still the North American champion (4 min).
A vignette shows
advertising a new wrestler. Bray Wyatt
comes out and says that Wyatt’s Warriors has just acquired a new member. He introduces…the Aztec Warrior. (Hmm…Looks like Alberto Del Rio to me.) Bray says that Aztec Warrior will have his
first match at the next show. The two of
them then leave.\
It seems that
with all the title matches taking place, that this is another night of
champions show. Psycho Jack sees
X-Division Champion Casey Jones walking around looking like he’s lost. Jack asked him if he’s been reading the memos
that were sent out. Casey said no. Jack didn’t like that and told Casey to head
to the ring for a match. Casey heads to
the ring and then is followed by Professor Cobra. It was determined that after Cobra lost the
X-Division title to The Axe, he never got a rematch so he finally gets
one. There were many near falls in this
22 minute battle but Casey ended up battling back and finished off the
Professor with a slingshot Suplex. Casey
Jones retains.
Adam Rose heads
to the ring for a match against US Champion AJ Styles. This was not a very long match but in just 9
minutes, AJ finishes off Rose with the Styles Clash.
Next up is
Antonio Cesaro getting a shot at Batista’s HWF World title. This one went slightly longer to 12 minutes
but the Beast just dominated Cesaro and pinned him after hitting a devastating
forearm smash.
The final match
is the CSWA World Champion Undertaker taking on Austin ‘the Man” Aries. Unfortunately, being ‘the Man’ sometimes
isn’t enough and Undertaker dominated his challenger getting him to tap out to
the triangle choke in just under 5 minutes.
Bray Wyatt came out on stage and stared but then left.
The ring is
cleaned up and set up for Donnie B’s Birthday Celebration. Jeff ‘the Hawk’ Meyers did something similar
to a “this is your life” segment that included some of the highlights (and
lowlights) from Donnie B’s career in the ring. They are then rudely interrupted
by former Cartel member Malo Leche de Mantequilla. Malo bullies his way in to the ring and says
he has important information. “I have it
on good authority that someone here in the HWF and CSWA isn’t who they claim to
be. There is fraud going on here I tell
you. Two people masquerading as
wrestlers.” Donnie B asks “Who in the
blue hell are you?” Malo puffs out his
chest and says “I am Malo Leche de Mantequilla.” Jeff scrunches his face and asks “Doesn’t
that mean ‘bad buttermilk’?” Malo looks
offended. “Nevertheless, unless these
two people want their identities revealed, I have a few demands. I demand my own title that I don’t have to defend. Second, I want a pay raise. Not some minimum
wage increase; I want money. I also
demand a reduced work schedule.” Donnie
B says “This is extortion. What proof do
you have to back up your claims?” Malo
Leche pulls out some pics. “These. Go ahead.
Keep them. I have plenty.” Donnie B and Jeff look at each other and are
concerned. “I will bring these to GM
Hogan’s attention if you do not act in by the next show.” Malo struts around the ring and then
leaves. Donnie B pockets the pics. Just before we go off the air, Donnie B says
to the Hawk “Something needs to be done.”
Jeff smiles back and says “I know just who to go to.”
Well, I guess we
can’t have a ‘drama free’ show so you’ll need to stay tuned to see what happens
next.
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