Saturday, August 16, 2014

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 08.06 – Day 1 – Clash of the Champions PPV


Hello fans and welcome to Day 1 of our Clash of the Champions Pay Per View.  We are coming to you LIVE in front of a sold out Denver, Colorado audience.  Unbeknownst to most of us, the HWF and CSWA put it out there for some super fans to win free tickets to both days of the event.  Joining us is last year’s winner Superfan Derek but he is now joined by new superfans Kaitlyn Quinn, and a young woman who goes by just P’Nut HBIC.  Our 3 superfans seem to be enjoying themselves as they just got back from visiting with the wrestlers backstage and they are taking their seats.  Derek has his collection of signs (and there are a LOT of them).  Ms. Quinn and P’Nut are rocking out to the music blaring through the speakers.

Pyro goes off and the fans go ballistic.  Lights are flashing and then that all too familiar music hits (Jimi Hendrix) and out comes out GM Hulk Hogan (minus the meat shield).  “The Hulkster is in the house, brother…but so is the HWF and the CSWA.  Denver, Colorado…For the next two days, we are going to blow your socks off with championship matches galore.  We will even have a match for record books with Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar ending their feud in a Hell in the Cell.”  Hogan is getting a good pop and no one has started throwing anything at him…yet.  “I am a little disappointed in my CWO for the lack of representation but that will be addressed at a later time.  Everyone wrestling on the Clash of the Champions card will be expected to put on a show that will go down in history.  Oh, and because of how full the cards are, the championship will be a winner takes all…no rematch.  All champions better be here to retain and challengers better be fighting as this was their last night on this earth.  I will not accept anything less than 100% and you fans don’t deserve any less.  BUT…you are Denver, Colorado; armpit of the mountain range.”  The cheering immediately died down and the fans (yes, every single one of them) became enraged.  Almost on cue, Hogan’s meat shield came out just as the debris started flying.  “Oh settle down.  You know it as well as I or maybe the thin air here has just killed off brain cells.”  He paused a moment.  “Forget it.  You all aren’t worth it.  Time for the show to begin.”  Hogan walks to the back protected by the meat shield.

The GM makes his way to the back and runs into the European Champion Centurion.  “Watch where you’re going, brother.  This is my yard and you are just a part time guest.”  Centurion looks Hogan in the face and says “You can address me as the European Champion as well as 1/3 holder of the 6 man tag team titles.”  “No” Hogan interjects. “What you are is next.  Get your ass to the ring, brother.”  Hogan stares him down and Centurion makes his way to the ring.

Match #1 is European Champion Centurion taking on Jay Lethal in a rematch for the title.  Hogan has mandated that all title defenses will be winner takes all; no rematches.  The Jay Lethal of old is on the scene dressed in his Macho Man getup.  Lethal takes Centurion to school and dominates the champ.  Lethal nails a springboard dropkick that seems to have knocked out Centurion.  Jay then goes to the top rope and nails the Macho Man elbow drop and covers Centurion in the middle of the ring.  1…2….3 and we have a winner and NEW European Champion – Jay Lethal.  Centurion makes his way back with his head hanging in shame.  Lethal celebrates with the fans before he eventually makes his way back.

Match #2 has Prestige Inc member and Internet Media Champion Magnus taking on the 719 Cartel’s Malo Leche de Mantequilla.  The match started off…well, off.  Magnus and Malo were on the outside of the ring within 30 seconds and Malo rammed Magnus’ back into the steel post.  After bringing him back in the ring, Malo turned up the heat…but not the Cartel way…his own.  I wonder if when he trained with Nick Diaz (learning to ‘keep it real’), he took it too far.  Not in a very nice fashion, Malo went to town on the champ.  Magnus never recovered from the post shot he took and in 6:55, Malo nails a snap Suplex and with his feet on the ropes, he gets the 1-2-3.  Another title has just changed hands with Malo Leche de Mantequilla winning the Internet Media title.  Magnus tried to inquire ‘what’s up with that?’ and Malo clocked him one .   Malo grabbed his title and left to the booing from the fans.  He flipped them off all the while flaunting his newly acquired title.

We cut to the back where we see Centurion, flanked by the rest of Wyatt’s Warriors, approach Hogan.  “I don’t know what your malfunction is but you just cost me my title old man.  I demand a rematch.”  Hogan looked at him funny.  “You demand what?  You are nothing.  You and your warrior team are nothing.  The only thing that matters here is Hulk Hogan and what I can and will do in the HWF and CSWA.  If you don’t like it, brother, there is the door.  Don’t let it hit you in the ass on your way out.”  Hogan then closed his office door in the Warrior’s faces.  Centurion looked to his teammates “This isn’t over.”  They all then walked away.

As we go back to the ring for Match #3, before the match can begin, the 60’s Batman music hits and out comes the Caped Crusader.  He is smiling and waving to the fans who cheer him on as he makes his way into the ring .  He is dressed in full Adam West Batman attire and does some running around the ring, bouncing off the ropes and (not sure why) dropkicking the air.  Once he settles down, he grabs a mic.

“Holy awesome pay per view, Denver (cheap pop).  I was brought in to the HWF and CSWA to be the Enforcer of good sportsmanship.  I have been in this federation for 9 weeks and I have seen nothing but cheating and poor sportsmanship by no less than 50% of the wrestlers.  Well, enough is enough!  From here on out, if you insist on tainting our sport with your cheating ways, you had better watch your back, for the Caped Crusader has his eyes on you and will find a way to bring you to justice.”

“And speaking of justice: Mark Henry, you knocked over my ambulance a month ago, with me still in it.  Remember that?  Well, my friend, I believe that act is a crime in the state of Louisiana as well as the city of New Orleans.  My good friend Commissioner Gordon with the New Orleans PD will soon be servicing you with an arrest warrant.”

“Oh, and Mr. Hogan?  Holy switcheroos.  I see how you like to change the rules and the scheduling of matches on a moment's notice, as it suits your whims.  This is not right, sir, and this crapola never happened while Donnie B. was at the helm.  You too, sir, are on notice...”

The Caped Crusader drops the mic, climbs to the top rope, and does an impressive (but pointless) high flying body press onto the mat below before raising his arms triumphantly and exiting the ring much to the delight of the Denver crowd. 

We cut back to the ring for our 3rd match which has X-Division Champion Casey Jones taking on Shield member Roman Reigns.  Right from the get-go, Reigns beat the holy Hell out of Casey.  Jones could not get much in the way of any offense for the entire match.  Reigns started to get a bit frustrated and his Shield teammates Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins came down to the ring.  They could see that Reigns was having issues getting the job done so they did what they do best…interfere.  Ambrose and Rollins jumped in the ring and attacked Roman Reigns!!!  What??? The Shield just imploded with Rollins and Ambrose taking out their former tag team partner.  Casey Jones ends up being disqualified but the title doesn’t change hands on a DQ.  He quickly left the ring as not to have any of the Shield’s anger directed towards him.  Ambrose and Rollins double powerbomb Reigns and then spike piledrive him.  Rollins and Ambrose raise their arms in victory as Roman Reigns is attended to by the ringside doctor.

We cut to the back where the Caped Crusader is approached by Hulk Hogan.  “Listen here little man, you better not do anything to disrupt MY federation.  This is MY show, brother, and I won’t have you stirring the pot.  For the sake of everyone, you have the night off.  In fact, don’t show up here tomorrow either.  I don’t want you jeopardizing what I feel is best for business so take off, eh…BROTHER.”  Hogan walks away and Caped Crusader, bag in hand, leaves the arena.

 Match #4 on our sizzling PPV is up next with the Women’s World Champion Gail Kim (who’s been undefeated as champion since winning the title) takes on Velvet Sky.  Sky is in the ring waiting for the champ who takes her sweet time to walk to the ring.  Gail had control for about the first 3 minutes and then it was all Velvet.  The fans were chanting “This is great” throughout the match as both women gave it their all.  Velvet really took the match to Gail who was just not prepared for the onslaught her opponent brought with her.  In what is probably one of the best matches of the night, Velvet Sky nails the Beauty Mark in 17 minutes and rolls Gail up for the 1-2-3.  Velvet Sky has just won the Women’s Title.  The fans are straining from the rafters and the applause for Velvet is almost deafening.  Gail left the ring to let the new champ celebrate with her title.

With the start of Match #5, we are half way through Day 1 of the Clash.  The second half of the show starts off with Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler taking on Ryback.  This was supposed to be the Miz fighting but Ryback dispensed with Miz pretty easily to win this shot.   Ryback may have had it easy with the Miz but it was quite the opposite with the IC champ.  Dolph never let Ryback get much in the way of offense in.  At one point, the Miz came in through the crowd shielding himself from the in-ring participants and the ref.  After Ryback hit the Meathook, he went for a pin but Dolph had his foot on the ropes.  The ref sends Ryback to the other corner and Miz nails him with a chair.  Dolph recovers enough and without realizing what happened, he hits a german Suplex and gets the 1-2-3 in 18 minutes.  As Dolph is celebrating in the ring, Miz jumps in and hits him with the same chair he used to take out Ryback.  Dolph collapses and Miz picks up the title and stands on the turnbuckles showing off.  The fans boo him but he could care less.  He ends up dropping the title on Dolph before leaving.

We cut to the back where we see Roman Reigns getting stitched up after the attack by his former teammates.  Reigns is VERY PISSED OFF and all he does is stare at the camera as the doctors clean him up.

Match #6 is next with the Tag Team Champions and members of the 719 Cartel VamChango (comprised of Senor Vampiro and El Chango) take on the re-formed Dudley Boys.  Bully Ray is now back to his original name Bubba Ray.  This was one of the shortest matches of the night as it only went 5 minutes.  For 4 of those minutes, all 4 men were in the ring and the ref couldn’t get control.  Bubba ends up going to the outside to set up a table.  He crawls back in and Devon is getting ready to throw Senor Vampiro out of the ring and onto the table.  El Chango ends up knocking down Devon and Bubba Ray was charging and after pulling down the top rope, Bubba goes sailing over the top and through the table.  Bubba ends up getting counted out.  VamChango retain their titles.

Because the tag team match was so short, Hogan told Daniels and Styles to head to the ring for their match.

Match #7 has Christopher Daniels defending the US title against AJ Styles.  This one had MATCH of the Night written all over it.  Daniels and Styles battled in the ring and out of the ring.  The champ had this one locked up for the first 15 minutes of the match and then after being on the receiving end of a Pele kick, the tide turned to the challenger.  AJ battled like a fresh new man and took the fight to his former friend/partner.  AJ nails Daniels with a flying dropkick and then catches the disoriented champ with a  gut buster followed by a roll up.  He gets the 1-2-2 and AJ Styles gets the win and is the NEW US CHAMPION.

Match #8 begins with Batista making his way to the ring.  He is then followed by the HWF World Champion (and holder of the Undisputed Heavyweight title) Bray Wyatt.  Wyatt is accompanied to the ring by Wyatt’s Warriors minus the Undead Warrior (who was preparing for his match next).  Bray gets in the ring and reminds Batista that all of his World title matches are specialty and this one will be Colorado (cheap pop) Death Match.  Dave shrugs his shoulders and attacks the champ.  Bray held his own but so did the challenger.  Dave used strength to counter the chaos brought in by Bray.  The match goes for 13 minutes and Bray nails the Sister Abigail.  Dave bounces up immediately and  nails an Enforcer Spinebuster.  He makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Batista has just defeated Bray Wyatt to become the NEW HWF WORLD CHAMPION.  Wyatt’s Warriors all hit the ring to come to the aid of their leader and Batista takes each and every one of them out.  Dave stands tall to the cheering from the fans.  Congratulations Dave!!!

In the back, just as he was preparing to head to the ring, Bray approaches the Undead Warrior.  “Where were you?  The Warriors are supposed to stand in force and you left us all hanging.  Once this evening is over my friend, we will need to have a conversation.  Remember who you are.”  Bray walked away as Undead Warrior shrugged and continued to stretch.

Hulk Hogan comes out and tells the fans the main event is up next with Undead Warrior and Jeff Hardy battling it out to see who will become the new CSWA World Champion.  Hogan practically promises us that it won’t be the Undead Warrior (he’d better not cheat or else).  Also, because a new HWF World Champion was crowned, a new match is being added to tomorrow’s show that will pit the HWF vs the CSWA World Champion and the winner will go on to meet Bray Wyatt for the Undisputed Heavyweight title.

Match #9 – Our Main Event – is here with the Undead Warrior taking on Jeff Hardy with the winner getting the CSWA World title.  Both men make it to the ring but before the match can begin, we hear Hogan’s voice on the loudspeaker “Before the match can begin, brother, we need a top caliber referee who will call this right down the middle.  He is on his way out now.”

‘Voodoo Child’ hits and out walks the GM in a sleeveless referee shirt.  Fans are confused but no one is throwing anything at him…yet.  Hogan climbs in the ring and on mic, tells us that this match will be a no countout/no DQ match.  “Ring the bell, brother.”

The Undead Warrior was unstoppable. This was like the Undertaker from 20 years ago.  No matter what Jeff Hardy tried to throw at him, nothing would work; not the Twist of Fate, the Swanton, nothing.  Jeff even hit ‘the Enigma’ but Undead would not stay down.  UW glanced at Hogan about 10 minutes in and what he saw took him aback.  He saw Paul Bearer standing there saying “Remember who you are Undertaker.  You have this.  Take what is rightfully yours.”  Undead Warrior had eaten a nasty dropkick from Jeff Hardy when Hogan came over and “Do you know who you are?  Do you know where you are?”  Undead Warrior sat up and beat the stupid body paint off of Jeff.  At the 19 minute mark, Undead Warrior hit the ‘Last Ride’ and made the cover.  Hogan came over and….counted….at normal speed.  1…2…3.   The Undead Warrior has just won/regained the CSWA World Title.  Hogan hands the belt to Undead Warrior and the fans explode.  Undead Warrior turns to Hogan and after a brief staredown, Hogan extends his hand and Undead Warrior accepts it.  The fans erupt even louder until over the loudspeaker we hear “Hold on, hold on a second.”  Out comes Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt.  “Just what the Hell do you think you’re doing, Undead Warrior?  Are you trying to upstage me?  ME?  I’m the F(bleep)ing Undisputed Champion.  You don’t show me up.  I OWN you.”  Undead Warrior yanks the mic out of Bray’s hand.  “No, not anymore.”  He then drags his thumb across his throat and Bray shoves a finger in his face.   Undead Warrior peppers Bray with lefts and rights and the throws him to the ropes where Bray, after bouncing off the ropes, eats a big foot to the face.  Undead Warrior picks up Bray Wyatt and hits the Last Ride followed up by a tombstone piledriver.  Bray is out cold.  “The Undead Warrior is gone and here stands the one and only UNDERTAKER!  Bray Wyatt, you will Rest…In…Peace.”  Wyatt’s Warriors all hit the ring to attack Undertaker but he disposes of each and every one of them in quick, clean fashion.  The show ends with Undertaker celebrating with his title in the ring.


Wow, that was a hell of a show.  Stay tuned as Part 2 will be up tomorrow.  

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