Thursday, August 29, 2013

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2013 08.08 – Fallout from the Clash

Hi Fans.  Sorry about the little hiatus there but after the fabulous show we had, Master Bull actually gave the wrestlers a week off.  Who knew this old grouch has a soft spot.

We start off with news about one of CSWA’s own calling it quits.  Ted Dibiasi Jr has decided to hang up his tights to go spend time with his family and possibly pursue some more acting gigs.  We wish him the best in his future endeavors.   One person, however, does not.  Yep, you guessed it.  Master Bull.  Master Bull was not willing to let Dibiasi leave on his own.  He told Ted that he had one more match he needed to work.  Ted tried to explain that he was done but Master Bull would not hear of it.  He sent Ted down to the ring and told him his opponent would be following shortly.

Master Bull scrounged around the back looking for a schmo to send to the ring and he came across Mike “the Axe” Medley.  Even though Medley had time off, he was still smarting from his title loss to King Damian Sandow.  Master Bull sent Medley to the ring and told him that he wanted Dibiasi punished for abandoning the federation (even though Dibiasi hasn’t been involved in any feuds for some time).

The Axe gets in the ring and just before the bell can ring, Master Bull gets on the mic “Now Teddie, I don’t want you to think you can skip out of here and get DQ’d so I am making this match a No Countout or DQ match.  You have a match and I expect you to wrestle.”  Also, I am bringing back one person who was forced into retirement early.  He will be the special guest referee for this match.  The ref comes down and it is Brad Maddox.  The bell rang and the Axe closed in.  He then executed the most devastating move in all of professional wrestling…the finger poke of doom.  Axe pokes Ted and he falls.  Axe makes the cover and the ref quickly counts 1-2-3.  Dibiasi actually celebrates in the ring with Medley and Maddox.  Master Bull is on the outside and he is livid.  He says that both Medley and Maddox will pay.

Next up was a pre-taped conference held by the Negronomicon.  Here is his follow up  following the retirement announcement from Donnie B.

·         Cut to a press conference:

"I'd like to read from a prepared statement.

Big Daddy Donnie B is a bastard. Always has been. He has consistently under paid his most talented employees when he ran his unbelievably pathetic wrestling federation and, as a wrestler, managed to stick up match after match after match no matter how many more talented opponents he faced.

Nevertheless, being that I am the bigger man, I will say something nice about him.

He smells like lavender. All the time. Very girlish, but who am I to speak ill of one man's "hobbies".

In all seriousness...you SUCK Donnie B. I hope you rot.”  End conference.

Now, we all know that the Negronomicon is very bitter but I think he took this too far.  I don’t know if he was dropped on his head as a kid or what but he seems to hate the world and everyone in it.  I’m very surprised Law and Order got him to agree to work with them.

Next, we wanted to discuss the health of El Chango.  As you may remember, El Chango got hurt at the PPV but he was immediately checked out and short of a few bumps and bruises, he is in good shape.

Our next match on the card is a rematch between Kevin Steen and Hernandez.  These two had a great 24 minute battle.  Steen controlled the match for the first 8 minutes and then Hernandez took over. At the 24 minute mark, Hernandez nails a nasty shoulder smash and rolled Steen up for the pin.  After the match, Hernandez went to shake Kevin’s hand and at first he didn’t want to shake it but eventually gave in.

Announcer Marc announced his good fortune.  He played the Lotto and he scored a whopping $600.  Good for him.

Cowboy James Storm then came out.  He said that his win in the tournament gives him a shot at any HWF title he wants.  He started off with the European Champion King Damian Sandow.  He said that he was all American and wasn’t interested in that belt.  He then brought up the World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar.  He said that Christian beat the beast so anything is possible but he wasn’t ready for that challenge.  He then zeroed in on the Intercontinental Championship held by Jay Lethal.  He said that Lethal, like him, was a consummate professional and he would like the opportunity to meet him in the ring.  He then announced he would cash in his title shot against Lethal.  The IC Champ then came out to “Pomp and Circumstance” dressed like the Macho Man.  He gets to the ring still mimicking his idol Randy “Macho Man” Savage.  Lethal said he accepts the challenge.  Storm then goes to shake Lethal’s hand and receives a superkick to the face for his efforts.  Lethal climbs to the top turnbuckle and goes flying connecting with a elbow smash to Storm’s throat.  He then goes to the outside and grabs the ringside bell.  He helps Storm to his feet and then nails him in the head with the bell (GONG!).  Storm is busted open.  Lethal stands over the fallen Cowboy holding his title.  Eventually he leaves.  Storm is helped up but refuses to be carried to the back. He storms (pun intended) to the back looking for Lethal.

Master Bull meets up with James Storm and tells him that, yes, what happened was tragic but he was to go cool off.  He told Storm to leave the arena and go to the hospital and get checked out.  Storm reluctantly agreed.

Next we have a tournament working towards our 6 man tag team champions.  Tonight, it is Prestige Inc with the Women’s champion Ravishing Raquel taking on 3MB.  This one went 19 minutes.  After a triple team on Magnus, Drew McIntyre turned and started making lewd comments to Ravishing Raquel.  Reid jumped in and nails a ReiDDT.  Magnus picks Drew up and nails a Samoan drop for the 1-2-3.  Prestige Inc is one step closer to the title finals.

Our next 6 man tag team match has the Mexicali Flyers with El Chango taking on the Colon’s and Zack Ryder.   This one went 13 minutes with El Chango and Tornado en Fuego doing all the work.  For some reason, El Dragon did not get tagged in as he looked worse for wear.

The main event of the night is the HWF World Champion Brock Lesnar defending against the Intercontinental Champion Jay Lethal.  This was a short one.  Brock was beating the snot out of Lethal until Lethal dumped the champ over the top rope. Lethal followed him out and hit a superkick sending Brock into the audience.  He jumps back in the ring just beating the 10 count.  Lethal gets the win via countout.  Brock is standing outside the ring but he is smirking.  Lethal asks what he is grinning at.  Brock moves out of the way and standing there is James Storm.  He rushes the ring and Lethal bails.  The show ends with Storm yelling at the champ as Lethal backed up cautiously up the ramp.

Stay tuned.  More to follow.

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