HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2013 08.05 – The Clash is almost upon us.

Hello fans.  We are here live in Humble, TX and on the final leg of our journey to the Clash of the Champions.  The night starts off with Master Bull coming out.  “Well, for those of you who don’t know our past, the HWF began here, in Humble, Tx over a decade ago.  The days of Donnie B running all over the talent and holding key people like the Negronomicon down, well, it’s just time for new blood.  Under my reign, I will take the HWF and CSWA to heights never before experienced.  I’m that damn good.”  Master Bull heads to the ring. “With that out of the way, I want to call down both HHH and Brock Lesnar.  I want the two of you out here now.”  HHH comes out first and heads to the ring.  He is followed by Brock.  “This is the contract for your match at the Clash.  HHH, signing this, you agree that to the stipulation that if you lose, you are done in the ring.  Brock, your world title AND potential shot at the Undisputed title are on the line here.  If you both agree, sign this.”  He hands the document to HHH who looks it over and then signs.  He hands it back and Master Bull then gives it to Brock Lesnar.  Brock goes to sign it and as soon as he finishes, HHH hits him.  HHH pounds down the HWF champ.  He goes for the sledgehammer.  “HANG ON” yells Master Bull.  “HHH, drop the hammer.  If you lay one more finger on him, the title match is off.  Brock, the same goes for you.  Neither of you are allowed to come into any contact with each other.  This means no hitting each other with a chair, no kicking, throwing other wrestlers into each other – Yeah, HHH, I know that is what you were thinking.  Your match is only a few days away.  HHH, I ask you to take off.”  HHH leaves smiling at Brock who is just steaming.  “Brock, I know you want to blow off some steam so you will get to wrestle now against this man.”   Out comes Cowboy Shizzle.  Shizzle does not look pleased.  “Cowboy, if you will, you have a match.”

Brock had fun…29 minutes of it.  He took delight in beating down Cowboy Shizzle but it was not as easy as Brock had expected.  The Cowboy actually fought back and it wasn’t as one-sided as we thought it would.  At one point, Marshall William Pearl came out and tried to distract Brock.  It didn’t work.  Brock jumped out of the ring and chased Pearl around 3x.  Pearl almost got caught but the Cowboy ended up sacrificing himself for his partner.  In the end, Brock gets the win with a Press and Slam.  After the match, Pearl came back out and helped his partner to the back.

King Damian Sandow was interviewed in the back by Flyin Brian.  Sandow had to keep telling Brian how to hold the microphone.  Sandow kept it short and sweet.  The European title was coming to the HWF and there was nothing Medley could do about it.

Marvelous Marc was also in the back mediating a conversation between John Cena and Ryback (not a very good place to be).  He kept trying to get these two to open up on why they hated each other so much but in the end, Marc feared for his life so he left.

Bran-Don-Goh was in the back with Spider Violet and Fusion Valentine.  B was gloating about how he got a win (albeit via countout) over the champion.  The women were just fawning over him; batting their eyes.  In walks Professor Cobra.  He congratulated B and asked if he would be painting a target on himself now that he does have a win over the champ.  Bran-Don-Goh thought about it for a minute and asked if the Professor was trying to stir up trouble.  Cobra said no but B didn’t believe him.  He challenged him to a match.

Both Bran-Don-Goh and Professor Cobra went out to the ring for their match.  B starts off with a flying calf kick and the Professor nails the cobra clutch bulldog.  The Professor goes for the bulldog again but it gets reversed and B hits a leapfrog body guillotine.  He follows it up with a body avalanche and the Professor comes back with the cobra strike spear.  Professor Cobra tosses Bran-Don-Goh from the ring but he is back in at 6.  He gets back in and hits the ‘said so’ stunner and Cobra nails the flying mamba spinning heel kick twice.  Cobra then locks in a clutch of the cobra cross armbar and goes for a pin but B kicks right out.  B is up and nails the stunner.  Cobra hits a king cobra diving headbutt and goes for the pin but B kicks out again.  B is up and hits a leapfrog body guillotine.  Cobra goes for the headbutt again but it gets reversed and B goes for the stunner but the Professor holds the ropes to neutralize the hold.  As he turns around, B nails another guillotine.  Bran-Don-Goh hits two backhand chops and then eats a cobra strike spear.  Cobra follows it up with a Cobra double knee facebreaker.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 at the 14 minute mark.

In the audience, Superfan Derek is holding up a sign “Bran-Don-Goh is a Dancing with the Stars reject” and Joel’s sign says “What in the blue hell am I watching?”

In the back, Marc is interviewing Handsome G with the Mexicali Flyers and El Chango.  Marc congratulates them on their win over the Shield.  Handsome G thanks El Chango for stepping up.  El Chango says that he speaks for the team when he says that they want the 6 Man tag team titles.  Nothing will stop them.

Elsewhere, Brian is interviewing Law and Order with the Negronomicon. Negronomicon says that at the Clash, he will make his own announcement regarding Donnie B.  He says the fans have waited long enough and will get to finally hear the truth.

Bran-Don-Goh was not happy after his loss to Professor Cobra.  He can be heard muttering to himself “Why has the Super Warrior forsaken me?  Was I not his number one fan?  In my time of need, where is he?”

Casey Jones runs into CSWA Internet Media Champion Dean Ambrose.  Ambrose says that Casey better not do anything to get himself disqualified because it is his last chance at the title.  Casey asks what the hell is he talking about.  Ambrose shows the contract stating that it is indeed Casey’s last shot at the title.  Ambrose says he best bring his A game.  Casey stood there looking puzzled.

King Mo Lawal and Mr. Wrestling 4 were being interviewed by Marvelous Marc.  4 stated that the USO’s stuck their noses into King Mo’s business and now, the King was going to make them sorry.  King Mo just stood there looking scary.

Uncle Nova was wandering around the back when all of a sudden, Reid Rothchild attacked him.  He bounced Nova off a couple of walls and then tossed him into the buffet table.  Nova battled back and hit Reid with a chair.  As soon as he went down, Nova ran over and grabbed the Elitist title.  He then ran out the door being chased by Reid.  He hopped into a waiting car (was this planned?) and he took off.  Reid was screaming for his title back.

BJ Whitmer and Jeff Hardy had a match against Sandow and Magnus from Prestige Inc.  The match was pretty even and even with Reid making his way down, BJ and Jeff were able to secure the win in 44 minutes after hitting a wrist-clutch exploder suplex on Sandow.  After the match, Reid gets in the ring and calls for Uncle Nova.  He says that Nova is no better than a thief and he wants his property back.  The camera pan to an upper level and there we see Uncle Nova holding the Elitist title amongst the fans.  He laughs and waves at Reid before taking off.

Ravishing Raquel is in the back waiting for Prestige Inc to return and all of a sudden, in walks the Women’s champion Layla El.  “Sweetheart, I’ve heard the things you’ve been saying but all I can tell you is that you just won’t win.  I am too good.” Raquel fires back. “You are the champ because you got lucky.  That is all.  You are nothing more than a smile.  You could wrestle your way out of a paper bag.”  Oh yeah?” Layla answered. You want a taste of what will happen at the PPV?”  “Why, what will that prove?” Raquel asked.  “I’ve done it once already.  The next time I do it, will be for the Women’s title.”  Layla ended up walking away.

The main event of the night is a preview match that will take place at the Clash.  This match has 2 champions and 2 challengers.  One team consists of the champions Daniel Bryan and Jay Lethal taking on their PPV opponents Christopher Daniels and CM Punk.  Punk started off against Bryan.  Bryan hits a missile dropkick and Punk just gives him a serious moment stare.  Lethal gets tagged in.  Punk brings in Daniels for the double team.  Punk locks in a reverse chinlock but gets the Lethal Injection.  Daniels then tosses Jay to the outside for a 9 count.  Both men are still in the ring.  Punk hits an inverted facelock neckbreaker and Daniels hits the Death Valley Driver.  Lethal hits a springboard dropkick on Daniels sending him to the outside.  Punk hits an inverted Frankensteiner and goes for a pin but only gets a 2 count.  Daniels gets tagged in.  Lethal goes for a flying elbow smash and Daniels nails the Angels wings.  Both men are down but Daniels makes the tag first.  Punk comes back in for more double teaming.  Daniels chokes Lethal on the ropes and then Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice.  Daniels chokes Lethal on the ropes again and then Punk dumps him on the outside.  Punk goes out and hits a split legged moonsault on Lethal through a table.  Holy Shit chants are everywhere.  Daniels gets Bryan tied up in the ropes and the ref counts Lethal down and out.  The team of Daniels and Punk get the win.  At the end of the match, Punk goes out and just seriously stares at Lethal.

That is all for now.  The PPV will be up next.  Stay tuned.  Lots to follow.