Hello fans and welcome to the first newsletter in the month of August. August promises to be filled to the brim with new hires, a PPV, wrestling, and of course (we couldn’t do without) DRAMA.
The first day in the month of August introduces a new performer from south of the Border. His name is El Chango. We received a taped interview from our new hire and this is what he had to say (unlike the Mexicali Flyers, this one speaks English – Master Bull made sure of that):
“My name is El Chango. For the uneducated, Chango is Spanish for monkey, and after you see me fight you will understand why. I hail from the small town of Juarez in Mexico. Do not let my small size fool you, I have taken down many a large opponent as I grew up in this very rough town.
There is no one specific wrestler I have a beef with; primarily because I have a beef with everyone. I have few friends; my only goal is to rise to the top and be the best fighter in the world. At times I may pretend to be someone’s friend, but most likely I will stab them in the back if they turn away from me.
Crowds love me because I’m mean. Even when they cheer for me, I still usually flip them off because I pretty much hate all people. If I was not such a good fighter they would probably not cheer for me. Due to my smaller size, aerial attacks are my specialty. Though, in a pinch I CAN use a wrestling hold.
Gracias.
Yours truly,
El Chango”
We look forward to seeing this unique individual in the ring.
With the addition of El Chango to our fold, he will be drafted to CSWA also and (we were just informed) that he too will be managed by Handsome G and will team (willingly or reluctantly) with the Mexicali Flyers. The MF’ers vs Law and Order will now be a 6 man tag team match with El Chango siding with the MF’ers and Negronomicon will team with Law and Order.
Also of note, in case it hasn’t been announced yet (can’t remember) by the high and mighty Master Bull, King Mo Lawal, MMA champion, was signed to a part time contract and will be drafted to the CSWA. He will come in and is expected to be teamed with Mr. Wrestling 4. Apparently, they have a friendship dating back years and so 4 asked for this and was reluctantly granted.
As we pan ringside, we see Superfans Derek, Marc, and Brian joined by the 4th member of their clique Joel. Joel proudly shows off the signs he has. “Big Show + ODB = OMG”, “The Axe is pretty dull”, “King Damian Sandow is the ruler of the world” and “Bring on the Gobbledy Gooker”. A visiting Jim Ross was backstage and referred to them as “Rat Bastards”. I think that will be a name that will stick.
On to some matches.
The first match had Mark Henry getting the win over Mike Bennett after Bennett got rammed into the ring post and Henry rolled him up for the win.
Ted Dibiasi Jr gets a win over Wade Barrett in 4 minutes after Barrett falls asleep and doesn’t respond to the Million Dollar Dream.
In a 21 minute battle, Kurt Angle got a win over Curtis Axel after Axel (who had been dumped to the outside 4x in this match) walked out thereby giving Angle the win via count out.
David Otunga and Ezekiel Jackson went to a 30 minute draw.
Great Khali gets a count out win over Mankind after Casey Jones got involved – sort of. Khali and Mankind were both on the outside of the ring when Casey popped out from under the ring and handcuffed Mankind to the steel steps. Khali made it back in just before the 10 count. After the match, Casey started to wallop Mankind with his hockey stick but Mankind hit Casey in the face with the steel steps. The handcuffs broke and Mankind then hit Casey with the Mandible Claw. Casey was fading but somehow pulled out brass knuckles and hit Mankind. He then took off.
We have a break and then out comes Handsome G with the Mexicali Flyers. G goes on to say that the Flyers would have been tag team champions if Law and Order had not interfered in their match. He then announces the third man in his stable – El Chango who comes out to a mixed reaction from the fans (due to his mixed message in his vignette). Handsome G says that these 3 Mexican superstars will bring law and order by eliminating Law and Order and that scrub Negronomicon. They are then interrupted by Law and Order. Marshall William Pearl is out with Cowboy Shizzle. They say that they will be ready to send these three homies back to where they came from – under some rock in the middle of nowhere. Out then comes Negronomicon and he looks different. We can’t put our finger on it but something is definitely different about him. Pearl says that it is time to show these chumps who runs the show around here. The MF’ers head to ringside for their match.
The Mexicali Flyers (w/ Handsome G and El Chango) went toe to toe with Law and Order (who had Negronomicon at ringside). This is a short one with Law and Order getting the win via countout. Negronomicon got involved and hit Tornado en Fuego with a chair. El Chango then attacked Negronomicon while the Flyers took out the Cowboy and Marshall. Handsome G got in the ring with his guys and they celebrated.
Next up has Sin Cara squaring off against Santino Marella. After a 19 minute battle, Sin Cara gets the win after hitting multiple arm drags and Santino could not retain his balance.
Mr. Wrestling 4 then comes out for his match against Zack Ryder. At the 11 minute mark, 4 catches Zack with the “original Mr. Wrestling kneelift” and gets the 1-2-3. The lights go out again and come back on seconds later and the man in black (not from the Princess Bride) is standing in the ring with a chair – but so is Mr. Wrestling 4. 4 is yelling at him to do something but he ends up backing down and leaving.
We just received an update about Donnie B and MW3. Well, it turns out that their injuries are worse than expected. It seems that the years of wear and tear on their bodies could be too much to handle. Both men are conscious but have been told by their doctors that it may be likely they will never set foot in the ring again. The doctor tried to explain that they may not have a choice. Donnie B and MW3 getting back in the ring may result in them not getting out of the ring. They have a choice to make.
The main event tonight has Dolph Ziggler taking on Sheamus. Both former WWE champions had a solid match but the pale Celtic Warrior kept overpowering his opponent. At the 19 minute mark, both men were brawling on the outside of the ring. Sheamus hits a white noise piledriver and then makes it back in before the 10 count. Dolph gets counted out and Sheamus adds a win to his record.
Thanks for reading. Stay tuned; much more to follow.
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