Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
Well, there were quite a few shocks that happened at Warzone. Donnie B and MW3 lost the tag team titles to
the Ascension; Bray Wyatt surprisingly defeated Brock Lesnar; and finally the
heel turn of Kurt Angle and his beating down CSWA World Champion MW3. Angle has seemed to align himself with fellow
turncoats John Cena and the Caped Crusader.
Our show comes from New Orleans after a day of reprieve after the PPV. We were given a scoop that there will be a
couple of surprises tonight.
The
show begins with MJ and the NEW World Tag Team Champions the Ascension making
their way down to the ring sporting their new championships. The fans boo as MJ takes the mic. “Shut up and sit down. We’ve got something to say. The Ascension promised that we would shake
the tag team foundation to its core and we did what we said we would do. Konnor…”
Konnor takes the mic. “OOOOOHHHH
What a rush! HA HA. We ARE the World Tag
team champions. Do you losers know what
that means? How about I use small words
so you can understand. WE…WON.” The fans turn the hatred up a notch. Viktor takes the mic. “Ohhhhh Yeaahhhhhh. Dig it.
These belts, which we easily took from those placemats show that we are
unstoppable. We blew through the current
roster with ease. I guess that means if
we’re going to defend these titles, it may have to be against some old,
retired, has-been team. Know of
any? HA HA.” Music interrupts “IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLL…WHAT
THE ROCK…IS….COOKIN.” The Rock makes his
way out to a deafening pop. Rock stands
on the stage and the place is just electric.
Rock holds up his hand and his music stops. We hear a car screech and then Mick Foley
comes out and the place blows up again.
The Rock N Sock Connection are here…in New Orleans.
Rock: well, well….glad you could take time out to
join me Mick…being on your comedy tours and all.
Mick
Foley: Thanks Rock…how’s Hollywood?
Rock: Great Mick….getting ready for Fast and
Furious 7 (cheap POP).
MF: I heard you were filming….right down
here…..in The BIG Easy, New Orleans, LA!
(Cheaper Pop).
Rock
and Mick Foley make their way down and get in the ring.
Konnor: Whoa-whoa…what the hell is this?
Viktor: Field trip from the old folks home, Konnor. (Laughs)
Rock: (raising eyebrow): Oh, Mick, look at this. Junior and his buddy Skippy here are
interrupting our conversation.
MJ: Hey-hey!
These men are-
Rock: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THEY ARE!
MF: Know your role Jabroni.
Rock
(to MF): Whoa-whoa-whoa Mick, this ain’t
sing along with the Rock….
MJ: You clowns get out of here. No one want to see a pair of broken down
has-beens…
MF: Has beens….?
HAS BEENS???? Mama Foley’s baby
boy may have a bit of mileage on him, but he’s far from a has-been…
Rock: Did the Rock hear that correctly? Did these two pancake assed, slack-jawed, LOD
rejects just call the Rock and Mankind, Has-Beens?
Crowd
chants “Rocky….Foley….Rocky….Foley….)
MJ: Hey-
Rock: (hold up hand in a Stop Motion): -is for Jackasses….now….shut your damn mouth
Jabroni. If the Rock, or Mankind want to
hear anything out of you….one of us will beat it out of you. Now, to the two trained chimps in the
shoulder pads behind you….just because you dress up in your little make-up….put
on your Pop Warner shoulder pads…..start running around, stick out your tongues
and yelling ‘oh what a rush’ like a pair of jackasses….and you call the Rock n
Sock Has-beens….the man to my right is a multiple time Heavyweight Champion,
WWE CHAMPION, Tag Team Champion and the Original Hardcore Legend . Cactus Jack….Mankind….Dude Love….MICK FOLEY….
(cheers….huge
POP)
Rock: And you are looking at the MOST ELECTRICFYING
MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT, BASIC CABLE, EXPANDED CABLE, HBO, THE SILVER
SCREEN- ONE OF THE BIGGEST BOX OFFICE
DRAWS ON THE PLANET. A WWE CHAMPION,
WORLD CHAMPION, UNDISPUTED CHAMPION AND…….THE PEOPLE CHAMPION…..(huge pop)….AND
HE IS KNOWN BY ONLY ONE NAME JABRONI….
(crowd
chants ROCK! Rock!)
Rock: THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
LALALALALALALALALALALALLALALA ROCK!
MF: You two think that cuz you had to cheat to be
the Champs…and get those shiny belts that you are somehow the New LOD. Well girls, I have faced, ON MANY
OCCASSIONS…..The REAL LOD, and you GIRLS ARE NO LOD! BANG-BANG!!
Rock: I heard that for Mardi Gras, you
pancake-asses couldn’t find a hotel here in Da Big Easy…..well, the Rock has a
place for you….and he’s gonna tell you where in a little song…
MJ: We don’t have time….
Rock: Know your Role…..and shut your MOUTH!
(Rock
gets guitar and starts playing Heart Break Hotel):
Rock:
Well
since you came on The Rock Show….
Started running your big fat
mouths….
Trying to talk some smack about
Rock and Sock….
Looking as stupid as all
Hell…..
Well, you traveled the whole
damn city,
Couldn’t find a room for rent….
But come on down to Jabroni
Drive,
And check your ass into
the….Smackdown Hotel…
You’re gonna get Socko’ed baby…..you’re
gonna get Rock-Bottomed…
You’re gonna get your ass beat
so bad…MJ’s gonna cry….
MJ: We’re not going to defend our newly won
titles against two has-beens who only show up when they need an extra pay
day. You have to EARN it. Just like we did.
Mick
Foley: Rock, I seem to think that they are afraid of putting the titles on the
line against us. If we are has-beens,
what is there to fear?
Rock: Come on you LOD knockoffs, put the title on
the line. What’s the worst that can
happen? We prove you are a flash in the
pan?
MJ: Fine. We accept. (The Ascension look at him awkward) Show us how big and bad you really are.
Mick
Foley: Have a nice day.
The
Ascension and MJ leave the ring and then are eventually followed out by Rocky
and Mick.
We
are shown a clip from the PPV that has Velvet Sky telling Angelina Love that
she got fired and Angelina hugs her but secretly smiles. Angelina helps Velvet
with her bags, and she tries to hold back her excitement, she hugs Velvet one
last time. As Velvet Sky is walking
away, we hear Angelina say ‘finally’.
Not sure what is going on here.
Why is she happy about her partner losing her job?
We
finally get our first match of the night which has Beer Money taking on two new
guys. The new guys are called Kalisto
and Solomon Crowe and they are accompanied to the ring by a young lady – HEY,
that’s the woman who distracted AJ Lee at the PPV. We learn her name is Paige. Paige leads her team to the ring and they are
followed out by Beer Money. The American
Wolves then made their way out and sat at ringside. This definitely threw Storm and Roode off
their game. Kalisto and Crowe took Beer
Money to the limit and even was out wrestling them at multiple times during the
match. Finally the bell rings ending
this match with a draw and the Wolves hit the ring and attacked Beer
Money. Eddie Edwards catches James Storm
with a superkick (which Storm also uses as a move) and Richards hits Roode with
the DR Driver. Beer Money bail and have
shocked looks on their faces as the Wolves try to get them back in the ring but
eventually Beer Money leaves. (30 min draw)
John
Cena comes out and the crowd starts to get worked up. John has a mic. “Simmer down, simmer down. I really don’t know why you are all getting
worked up over my change of heart.
You’ve been chanting ‘Cena Sucks’ for years and now when I try to figure
out where I want my career to go, you all get in an uproar. Well, I’ve had enough. You want to chant that I suck, well guess
what…YOU SUCK. That’s right. All you dumb-ass IWC marks; you suck. You know what, instead of camping out in your
mother’s basement eating chips off your chest and playing Halo 2, go get a
life. Instead of trolling the internet
looking for things to complain about; get a life. I don’t give a rats-ass what you think, what
you want or what you think you’re entitled to.
From now on, like my friend Kurt Angle said at the PPV, it is all about
the ‘I’; or in this case, ME. I will be
teaming up with my new bud the Caped Crusader and we will turn the world of
wrestling on its ear.” Cena drops the
mic and walks out to the booing from the fans.
The
American Wolves (Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards) storm into GM Hulk Hogan’s
office and they demand the heads of Beer Money (James Storm and Bobby
Roode). Hogan tries to get them to calm
down but they say that these cowardly attacks from Storm and Roode have hit
their limit. They tell Hogan to make
something happen soon or they will. They
storm out of his office.
Paige
is walking around the back when she is approached by AJ Lee. Lee confronts her about the distraction at
the PPV. Paige just shrugs it off but AJ
won’t let her off that easy. AJ grabs
her by the shoulder and whips her around.
Paige doesn’t like that and hits AJ with a forearm smash across AJ’s
face. Paige just skips off.
HWF
World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt makes his way to the
ring. Wyatt says that he has found 2 new
wrestlers to bring under his wing and lead them on to glory. He introduces…Casey Jones and
#ConanJones. The Jones boys come out and
the fans are confused. Why would they
team with Bray. Casey gets on the mic
and tells us he is changing his name. He
will now be known as #CaseyJ. Conan
takes the mic and says he will be known as #ConanJ. He then goes on a rant.
“We....the
Jones' are the meat and potatoes...and maybe we got left off the PPV.......will
the fluff...and spoiled milk made the show????? Wtf......glitz and glam, hot
air and smoke being blown ..... the C@cksucker Wussie and Fluff/ Hasbeen
Wishywashy Fagazis have it out for the REAL talent......that’s ok.....I’m sure
jerry springer has more non-stop action than these guys......or maybe we should
just tune into the 1980s wwf animated superstars to see hogan and these clowns
in their prime.” (Editor’s note: we just figured out he was talking about
former Tag team champs Donnie B and MW3). Bray took the mic from him and just shook his
head. They are up next in 6 man
competition.
Bray
Wyatt and the Jones boys are taking on Kevin Steen, Curtis Axel and Jack
Swagger. These guys (Steen seem to have
addressed whatever issue was going on between them. We saw a LOT of triple teaming from both
teams but it was the Jones Boys, led by Bray Wyatt, who owned the match. At the end of the match, Axel was beating
down on Wyatt but then Kevin Steen did a blind tag and said that “he’s got
this”. Bray recovered and hit a short
arm clothesline. #CaseyJ took out Curtis
Axel and #ConanJ took out Jack Swagger.
Bray then connected with Sister Abigail and rolled Steen up for the
1-2-3. Bray and the Jones boys are
victorious in their first team up. (22
min)
In
the back, Master Bull (aka the Bullster) and Hulk Hogan are chatting about a
future Beer Money / American Wolves match.
Both men agree that this needs to happened sooner rather than later and
agree that at the next show, all four men will see action but it will be in
singles competition.
Our
next match is another 6 man competition.
This time, the Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Ryback) are taking
on the newly formed ‘Team Me’ of John Cena, Kurt Angle and the Caped
Crusader. Team Me was definitely in
control of the match until Dolph Ziggler came out and rushed the ring with a
steel chair. He went right after John
Cena which caused the DQ. Cena, Angle
and CC get the win. Cena took a chair shot
but the Caped Crusader hit Dolph with the WAM!BAM!POW and it was enough for
them to get out of the ring and off to safety.
Kurt was further up the ramp than his teammates and he was met by the
CSWA World Champion MW3. MW3 caught
Angle and hit the MW2 kneelift. Cena and
CC grabbed Kurt and they booked it out of there. (16 min)
We
are ready for the next match that pits Adam Rose and Adrian Neville against the
Dust Brothers. The Dust Brothers were in control for 24 minutes but then double
teaming on Goldust changed the pace of the match. Rose beat down on Goldie until he (Goldust)
hit the Shattered Dreams. Stardust then
tagged himself in. There were words
between the Dust Brothers and Goldust shoved Stardust. Stardust turned around and got caught with a
swinging fisherman’s Suplex. Rose made
the cover and got the 1-2-3. After the
match, Stardust got into a yelling match with Goldust and walked out on
him. (29 min)
GM’s
Master Bull and Hulk Hogan come to an agreement on tonight’s main event. It
will be the Rock N Sock connection taking on the Ascension in a non-title
match.
We
go back to the ring where David Otunga is already waiting. His opponent tonight is Kane and their match
is for the X-Division Title. Otunga got
ONE offensive move in and that was a clothesline that did little against
Kane. Kane shrugged it off and hit the
Chokeslam from Hell and pinned Otunga in just under 2 minutes.
We
are treated to a live stream interview with the American Dream Dusty
Rhodes. Rhodes says he will be at the
next show to address the situation going on between Goldust and Stardust.
It
is time for our Main Event: Rock N Sock Connection vs the Ascension for the
World Tag Team Titles. Before the match
could begin, GM Master Bull came out and told us that the match was created
without the approval from the GM’s but this is what is best for business so he
will allow this match to happen. Unless
they win the titles, this will be the only time we’ll see this team again. GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that the
match needs to be called fair and square and says we need a special guest referee. He introduces the Caped Crusader. CC says he will call it right down the middle
as he fights for Justice. The Rock N
Sock Connection are introduced and the place just goes crazy. Rock and Foley (dressed up as Mankind) head
down to the ring. Next, MJ comes out and
introduces the NEW World Tag Team Champions Konnor and Viktor – The
Ascension. All 3 men head down to the
ring.
The
bell rings and Konnor charges the Rock who immediately hits a Rock Bottom.
Konnor immediately tags out to Viktor.
Viktor comes in and receives a kick to the gut and then is dropped with
a DDT. He tags back out. Finally, the Ascension get their heads on
right and take the fight to the Rock.
All 4 men end up slugging it out in the ring. Mankind locks Viktor in the Mandible Claw and
Konnor throws Rock out of the ring.
Viktor is tagged in and Rock immediately hurls him out of the ring. Viktor is back in and hits a Russian leg
sweep. He tags back out and Konnor is
immediately DDT’d. Rock goes for the pin
but Viktor breaks it up. MJ creeps
behind Mankind and hits him with a chair.
(on a side note, Caped Crusader let the Ascension tag in an out as they
saw fit. He would not pay attention when
Foley would try to get in but he claims to have not seen the tag so he would
send Mick to the outside time and time again).
Foley jumps down and goes after MJ who scurries off. Konnor and Viktor take Rock out of the ring
and hit the Fall of Man on the floor.
All of a sudden, #CaseyJ and #ConanJ make their way out. They rush the ring and attack the Ascension
causing the DQ. The Ascension retain
their tag team titles via DQ. Mick makes
his way back down and attacks the Ascension.
Konnor and Viktor beat him down until the Rock is back in for the
save. Rock Bottom to Konnor and Viktor
(the Jones boys ran away after their interference) and they roll out of the
ring. Rock turns to the Caped Crusader
who has a look of fear in his eyes. Rock
stops just short of another Rock Bottom and gives him to Mick Foley. Foley hits a DDT and then locks in the
Mandible (Socko) claw. CC eventually
gets away. The show comes to an end Rock
and Foley celebrating with the fans.
Stay
tuned as things are starting to get interesting.
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