HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – #401…Clash of the Champions (8/30)

Hello fans and welcome to our PPV the Clash of the Champions coming to you live from the home of the Christmas Story house…Cleveland, OH.  Tonight’s card will be action packed with lots riding the outcomes.  Jupiter Jane has been waiting for months now to finally get her shot at ‘Fabulous’ Taylor Bella’s Diva’s title.  The Steel Curtain have overcome many obstacles to get the tag team title shot they deserve against champs The Desperados.  Both teams are fan favorites so it will be interesting to see how this plays out.  Also to note, Southern Belle was taken out by Ravishing Raquel at the milestone show and we are still unsure she’ll make it tonight.  Former world champion Austin ‘the man’ Aries gets his shot at the title he never lost (but was stripped of by former GM Hulk Hogan) against the current title holder Samoa Joe.  The Fiend’s career is on the line against the Miz; only one walks out with the US title.  Hardcore champion Magnum ‘King of Cones’ Kone defends his title against X-Factor member Christopher Daniels.  Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt finally face off for the HWF World title.  Prestige Inc. get a rematch for the 6 man titles against the team of the Ascension & Kane with MJ.  And the one I think most people are waiting for (not because of his self-proclaimed greatness but that we want to see him gone) the Rock vs. the Meeples Champion #CJ with the loser out of a job when he screams I Quit. 

The show begins with pyro exploding and the fans here are hanging from the rafters.  This is going to be one hell of a slobber knocker.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and welcomes everyone in attendance as well as those tuning in on PPV.  Max says that this show promises to blow everyone’s socks off.  Max says that FINALLY…#CJ gets what’s coming to him and once he screams I quit, he’s done.  However…#CJ does have a win over Brock Lesnar so we guess anything is possible however unlikely.  Max says it’s time to get this party started.  Pyro goes off again and our show officially begins.

Our first match kicks off with the Hardcore title on the line.  First, the challenger X-Factor member Christopher Daniels comes out accompanied by teammate AJ Styles.  Following him out is the Hardcore champion Magnum Kone.  As Kone gets to the ring, it is announced that the rules for this match will be ECW Rules.  Daniels had the slight edge for the entire match but the champ stayed right there with him.  Try as they might, though, neither man could get the pin.  This hard fought match had the fans cheering both men on.  As the match neared its conclusion, both men ended up on the outside.  Daniels had his head rammed into the guardrails but battled back with a death valley driver.  He rolled Kone back in but Magnum popped up and hit the popsicle (piledriver) and covered Daniels for the 1-2-3.  Magnum Kone retains his title.  (23 min).

We cut to the back with Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel and with her is Prestige Inc.  Raquel says that she’ll win by forfeit as Southern Belle is not showing up.  The Elitist Reid Rothchild says that Prestige had the belts stolen from them by the Ascension and Kane and tonight, they take their titles back.

Next on the card is the match for the Diva’s title.  Jupiter Jane finally gets her hands on ‘Fabulous’ Taylor Bella and tonight, all the pain and suffering she went through will be worth it after she wins the title.  Jupiter Jane made her way out accompanied by her tag team partner Madame Jade.  Jane was pacing in the ring like a caged tiger.  The Diva’s champ comes out next.  Taylor immediately attacks Jane before the bell rings and this one is off to the races.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says this one will be best of 3 falls.  The first fall goes to Jane who got Taylor to tap out to the Tarantula in 7 ½ min.  The next fall went for 6 minutes with the champ battling back and pinning Jane after hitting a sunset flip.  (6 min)  The third and final fall  started off with Taylor locking in an armbar but Jane got Taylor in the Tarantula again and would not let up.  Taylor screamed in pain and with nowhere to go, she tapped out a second time.   Jane however would not let up.  The ref and Madame Jade tried to get Jane to let her go.  Finally she did.  Jupiter Jane has just become the NEW DIVA’s Champion.  Madame Jade raises the hand of her partner and then both leave.  Taylor’s sisters the Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki) come out and they help their sister to the back.

In the back, the World Tag Team Champs the Desperados and the Steel Curtain are all being interviewed and all say they are excited about this match and look forward to the better team winning.  They are then interrupted by MJ & the Ascension.  Konnor says it doesn’t matter who wins; they will be coming for those belts next.  Viktor says “Can you dig that, Sucka?” (the fans boo them for stealing yet another catchphrase).  MJ says it’s only a matter of time and the Ascension will hold all the belts.  They then leave.

Ravishing Raquel then makes her way out and tells everyone that Southern Belle won’t be here tonight as she’s too busy with parties and such.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and tells her that Belle is in fact, not here but instead of Raquel skating out with a forfeit win, a local talent is being given an opportunity.  Raquel laughs when a masked women’s wrestler comes out.  Raquel comments that this one will be easy.  Raquel starts to beat her down for a few minutes and then hurls her over the top rope and she gets counted out.  Max comes out and says “oops, since you didn’t defend your title, now you have to…and it’s against this person.”  Out comes Southern Belle to a huge pop.  Raquel is stunned.  Belle rushes the ring and the match is immediately started.  Belle took the fight to the champ who held her own but struggled against the ferocity Belle brought forth.   Belle nailed a dropkick with cowboy boots that sent Raquel tumbling out of the ring.  She tried to leave but Belle dragged her back by her hair.  She then slammed Raquel’s face hard on the mat and then threw her into the steel steps.  She rolled Raquel back in just before the 10 count.  She then climbed the turnbuckle and nailed the Moonshine.  She makes the cover and the ref counted 1…2…3.  Southern Belle has just become the NEW WOMEN’s Champion.  Streamers fell from the roof and she basked in the adulation from the fans.  Raquel left with her head held low.

CSWA World Champion Samoa Joe says that he is looking forward to his match with Aries.  Once and for all, he will put the notion that Aries thinks he’s the uncrowned champion to rest and will continue his reign as world champion. 

It is time for the next match which is for the World Tag Team Titles with the champs the Desperados defending their titles against the Steel Curtain.  The Steel Curtain started off like wildfire and it took a while for the champs to get their stuff going.  As the champs would get an offense going, the Steel Curtain would shut them down.  About half way through the match, the ref takes a bump and goes down.  The Ascension run down and attack the champs but the Desperados and the Steel Curtain end up teaming together and eliminate the Ascension sending them to the back.  The two teams resumed their fight.  El Chango ends up tossing Buzz Steel from the ring but he landed on the apron.  He’s back over the ropes and blasts El Chango with a superman punch.  Buzz makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  The Steel Curtain have just become the NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!  All men shook hands and the Desperados said that they would like to get a rematch soon and Buzz and Starbuck said absolutely.  When pressed for a date, Starbuck said that it was up to GM Max McGillicutty and the championship committee.  (26 min)

Austin Aries cuts a promo saying that among other things, Joe is full of hot air.  He will take all the air out of Joe’s sails once he regains what was stolen from him…the CSWA World Championship.

Next in the line up is our six man tag team match between the champions the Ascension & Kane vs Prestige Inc.  Prestige Inc. come out first and are booed.  Reid takes time to flip as many people off as he can.  The champs come out next and are booed equally as heavy.  This match was about keeping down the perceived weakest link and that was determined to be Reid Rothchild.  With the exception of a double team in the first minute of the match with Sandow, Reid was kept in the ring the entire team while Kane, Konnor and Viktor made constant tags.  Reid would try for a tag but their opponents kept Reid sequestered.  At the 12 minute mark, Viktor and Kane took out Sandow and Magnus leaving Konnor to drop repeated knee smashes on Reid.  Konnor then makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  The Ascension and Kane retain their titles.  Sandow and Magnus help Reid out of the ring and to the back.  The Ascension say that they are wanting their overdue tag team title shot and Kane then mentions that they are all in line for a World title shot and soon, very soon, they will own all the gold in the HWF. (12 min for the match; 15 for the segment)

The Rock arrives and says he will have a treat for the fans when he hits the ring.

A pre-taped promo from Bray Wyatt then airs.  "I have won wars without so much as lifting a finger, man. And I bet, I bet you think I don't know you, Brock, but oh I do. Now tell me something, friend, if I may: Do you believe in the creator? Life after death? I do. But I am not here to convince you that hell is a real thing, man, no, no, no; I am just here to lead you to the gates and drop you off.  Brock, it is time.  Follow the buzzards."

It is time for our first World title match with Champion Samoa Joe taking on Austin Aries for the CSWA World title.  Aries comes out first to a huge pop.  ‘The Man’ makes his way to the ring.  New music hits and the champ makes his way to the ring.  The two men come face to face and the match begins.  The two are throwing lefts and rights and Joe drops him with knee strikes.  Aries was not able to stop the onslaught Joe threw at him.  Joe totally dominated Aries and then locked him in the rear naked clutch.  Aries had nothing left in his tank and had no choice but to tap out.  Samoa Joe wins the match and retains the World title.   Joe stays and celebrates while Aries makes his way to the back.  (14 min)

Several superstars were asked who they thought will win between Rock and #CJ and the only comment worthy to note came from The Stache.  He said that if #CJ were to win, it would be a true miscarriage of justice and that people will revolt.

It’s time for one of the most highly anticipated match between The Peoples Champ vs the Meeples Champ:  The Rock vs #CJ.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and announces a special guest referee for tonight’s match:  Roy Jones Jr. Max reminds us that #CJ’s career is on the line.  #CJ had requested the ‘I Quit’ stipulation for this match. He who screams ‘I quit’ is never seen again.

The Rock comes out first to a pop that is totally deafening.  Rock makes his way to the ring carrying a guitar.  Rock tells us he’s going to sing a song.  He sets up in the ring and starts off.

GM Max threw a party and he spent some bucks

No one cared about #CJ cause he totally sucks

#CJ tried to wrestle and it all went south

Know your role Jabroni and shut your mouth

Let’s Rock…everybody let’s Rock

#CJ got a menstrual clock

And here in Cleveland, everyone knows CJ is a Cock

#CJ comes out next and is mock clapping to the Rock.  #CJ has a mic of his own.  “Rock, guess what, I’ve got a surprise for you too.  I fancy myself a rap mogul and I have one specially created for you.

Finally the Rock came back; let me recap

Said I was talking trash; that I was full of crap

Rock, I wasn’t talking trash, I was talking the truth

You left your fans behind…to play a fairy with a tooth.

And then you walk into this ring and tell these people I suck, jack

You wore lipstick in Get Shorty; that mountain…less witch; more brokeback

This joke you’re dealing with; I’m not your average jabroni

I am the whole F’n show here so just blow me.

Roy Jones Jr. brings the two performers to the center of the ring and explains the rules.  The person who says the words “I Quit” will be out of the HWF and CSWA forever.  As soon as the bell rings, Rock and #CJ jaw jack and #CJ bitch slaps the Rock and laughs at him.  Rock smiles, nods his head, starts to unload on #CJ and pummels in the corner then lays the smack down on him (spits in his hand and then delivers a bitch slap of his own).   After some blows, #CJ locks the Rock in a guillotine choke but Rock reaches the ropes to break the hold.  Both men hit some high impact moves such as a superplex from #CJ and the Rock hitting a Rock Bottom from the top rope.  Rock then grabs a towel and tries to choke out #CJ but he doesn’t tap out.  Rock then begins delivering a beatdown as we’ve not seen in a long time.  Rock tried every trick in the book but he couldn’t get #CJ to tap out.  For a whopping 15 minutes, Rock beat the holy hell out of CJ and he took it.  Rock got CJ  trapped in the sharpshooter and held it in for a good 3 minutes but CJ wouldn’t tap out.  Rock was getting increasingly frustrated.  Rock then Rock Bottom’s CJ on the exposed concrete floor and then threw him into the stairs.  Rock throws CJ to the ropes and nails a spinebuster.  After a missed pin attempt, Rock goes to pick up CJ but CJ rolls through it and manages to lock in the figure four leglock and used the ropes for leverage but Rock was able to break the hold fairly easy.   CJ eye rakes Rock and then hits Rocky with his own Rock Bottom.  He locks the Rock in the sharpshooter and Rock is in the middle of the ring.  Rock claws his way to the ropes and just before he tapped out, he made it to the ropes.  Rock reverses a german suplex and drops the People’s Elbow on CJ.   Rock then climbs the ropes to get the cheers from the fans to fill him with intestinal fortitude.  Rock then lays the smack down on CJ and then locks him in a sharpshooter in the middle of the ring.  CJ is trapped and is screaming in pain.  Rock cinches it in and CJ is ready to tap out.  Rock leans back just a little further and CJ, in a moment of extreme pain…passes out.  The ref goes over and lifts CJ’s hand once, twice and the third time his hand hit the mat, the ref calls this one over.  The Rock has won the match.  Rock celebrates in the ring but then Max McGillicutty comes out.  As CJ is being taken back on a stretcher, Max says that it is with a somber voice, that CJ is…NOT out of a job.  Rock won the match but CJ never quit.  Rock went from elation to disappointment in knowing that CJ will be back to fight another day.  DAMN.  That was a hell of a match.  (25 min)

The Ascension (minus Kane) make their way back out and are flaunting their 6 man titles.  Viktor says that the Steel Curtain have to defend those titles against them and that no one will stand in their way.  They are interrupted by new music and blaring over the speakers “WWHAHHHHHHSSAAAAAPPPPPP” and the Dudley Boys rush the ring.  The Dudley Boys are BACK in the CSWA and HWF.  Bubba and Devon brawl briefly with the Ascension before Viktor and Konnor bail and run to the back all the while being chased by the Dudleys.

The ring crew are setting up the Steel Cage for our next two matches.  First, the Miz and the Fiend will meet one last time with the US title on the line.  Max comes out and presents the US title to the ref and then leaves.  The Fiend comes out first to music from the Misfits.  The Miz comes out next and as soon as he entered the ring, the bell rings starting this one off.  The two of these guys beat the crap out of each other for a solid 30 minutes and by the end of the match, both were wearing crimson masks.  Nothing was finalized in this match and Max came back out and said that the Miz had a better showing than the Fiend and he should award the title to Miz.  Miz began to celebrate but Max cut him off.  “Just because you had a better outing doesn’t mean you get the belt.  I will sanction one final match between you two and it will be a “falls count anywhere” stipulation.  There will be one winner in that and then the belt will be awarded.  Fiend, you held on here so the stipulation with your career on the line is null and void.  We WILL have a winner and that will be next weekend.”

As CJ is being put into the ambulance, quite a few wresters from the back watch on in amazement that this guy is still alive and they nod to him as he passes by on the stretcher.

It is time for the main event.  Rounding out the evening will be Bray Wyatt taking on Brock Lesnar for the World Title.  Max heads down to the ring and announces both men.  They both head down to the ring.  Max says that this will be 3 falls….Brock interrupts him.  Brock says that this will be one fall as he doesn’t want Bray to have any excuses after he trashes his ass.  Max says he appreciates Brock’s point of view but it is his rule as GM that stands.  Best of 3 falls.  It is time.  All of Bray’s psychology against the brawn of Lesnar.  The bell rings.  Early on Bray climbs to the top of the cage and hits a B-52 kneedrop from the top of the cage but Brock caught him mid fall and press and slammed him to the mat.  Brock makes the cover and Bray barely kicked out just before the 3 count.  Brock pummels Bray some more but out of desperation, Bray hits Sister Abigail.  Both men are down.  Brock is to his feet first and levels Bray with a powerslam.  Brock makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Bray somehow attacks Brock and starts off strong.  Bray hits Brock with a flying double loaded elbow to the groin.  He makes the cover but Brock kicks out at 1.  After Bray pummeled Brock for a few minutes, he nailed a running powerslam into the cage.  Brock hits a powerslam and Bray hits a catapult into the cage.  Bray makes the cover but Brock kicks out at 2.  Bray hits Sister Abigail but Brock hits a press and slam.   Brock makes the cover but Bray kicks out at 2.   Bray tries for Sister Abigail again but Brock reverses it and nails an F-5.   Brock makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Now it’s a race to see if he can get out of the cage.  Brock scales the cage but Bray grabs his leg.  Brock pulls Bray up and standing on the top turnbuckle, puts Bray on his shoulders and hits an F-5.  Brock then makes for the door and makes it out the door.  Brock Lesnar wins the match and becomes the NEW WORLD CHAMPION.  Brock takes the world title and his Intercontinental title and walks up the ramp to the cheering from the crowd.

With that, the show comes to an end.  Thanks for reading.  Stay tuned as we are sure there will be tons of fallout from this show.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.08 (issue #400)

Hello fans and welcome to our 400^th issue of the HWF/CSWA Wrestling newsletter.  Today’s issue is indeed a milestone that took us over 11 years to get to.  Thanks for sticking with us all this time.  (Side note from the editor:  with the exception of female wrestler Sasha Banks, World/Undisputed champion Bray Wyatt, Brock Lesnar and the Rock, everyone involved in today’s show are made up characters). 

Before the show begins, the camera pan the audience and it sees one fan at ringside was wearing a “I’m a Meeple.  Who will join me?” t-shirt.  Uh Oh, this better not become a trend.  The fan tried to get those around him doing a “Meeple, Meeple” chant and they all looked at him like he was insane.  Does this guy not remember #CJ calling all fans ‘pubic hairs’?

Our first match begins with a women’s six person battle.  Southern Belle, Madame Jade & Jupiter Jane vs Cactus Jackie, Spider Violet and Sasha Banks.  Belle, Jade and Jane all come out to cheering from the fans.  One fan held a “Madame Jade is hardcore” sign and she stopped and signed it for the fan.  Following them are Jackie, Violet and Sasha.  Sasha actually stopped and took that sign from the fan that Madame Jade just signed and tore it to pieces and threw it on the ground.  The booing and hissing that followed was excruciatingly loud.  Sasha would not get in the ring at all with Jade.  Jane, Jade and Belle destroyed the competition but constant saves kept the heel’s team alive.  As we closed in on that 30 minute time limit, Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel came out and forcibly pulled Belle down from the ring and she smacked her face against the ring practically knocking her out.  Raquel then left laughing.  Madame Jade tended to Belle as Jane continued to clean house.  Finally, the bell rang signaling the end of the match as a draw but this was hardly an even fight.  Madame Jade did manage to get in one shot on Sasha before she bolted out of the ring.  I’m sure these ladies will all meet again.  (30 min draw)

The Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel says that Taylor Bella is playing with forces beyond her comprehension and if not careful, will end up hurt crawled up in a ball like Southern Belle was.  Raquel promises that Belle will NOT be at the Clash of the Champions.

Next on the card, The Band (The Axe and Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon) come out and throw down a challenge to the Steel Curtain for their title shot at the PPV.  Starbuck and Buzz Steel come out to a pop from the fans and accept.  9 minutes into the match, both Starbuck and Buzz get injured and the Band doesn’t let up.  Try as they could though, they could not get the pin.  Finally, the Steel Curtain recovered enough to take the match back to the Band.  Axe and Dirk could not believe the resilience that this team possessed.  Finally, they determined there was no way they were going to win so Dirk and the Axe left the ring and walked to the back resulting in a countout.  The Steel Curtain retain their spot at the PPV.

Backstage, Leon Teremoto says he wants his shot at the hardcore title tonight.  He tells Magnum Kone that his time is now and nothing will keep him from fulfilling a dream.

Our next match is #CJ vs ‘Luke Warm’ Lucas Johnston. While making his way to the ring, a fan taunts #CJ “Rocks gonna kill you”.  #CJ turns to the fan and say “shut your mouth you f*****g moron.”  The fan stood there for a moment and his only reply was “same to you”.  Rock cuts a quick promo.

“Hey Horowitz, if your gonna accompany the most interesting man in ALL of sports entertainment , you better for damn sure be something more than a ring decoration, I mean damn if I just wanted someone to stand there and look stupid I would still be with that other Jones guy (now known as the Nigerian Wraith)… you rocky I'll give it to ya... you we're a little more than I expected.....I figured the lifestyle and these gms changed you and had you all gassed up.......but thats what I like, I want to beat you the pc at his best, so I CJ can once and for all prove that I am the REAL PC!!!!!!! SO AT THE CLASH ROCKY BELIEVE CJ IS COMING FOR YOU, NO TRICKS, NO GIMMERICKS (spelling errors left in intentionally) 110% REAL, RAW AND UNCUT......... CJ OUT”. 

As he drops the mic, Lucas immediately attacked #CJ before he could get anything started but soon found his way.  After beating down on Lucas for 10 minutes, the Rock makes his way out and #CJ is none too happy.  Lucas takes the opportunity to blast #CJ with a flying dropkick.  He then started pummeling #CJ with quick forearm smashes.  He then hooked the tights and got the win.  Lucas Johnston gets his 2^nd win of the year (this guy really sucks so that means #CJ is worse).  How this schmuck beat Brock Lesnar is beyond me.  (15 min)

Clarkus Kentus tells us the main event will be Champ vs Champ with Ravishing Raquel taking on Taylor Bella but the belts are NOT on the line.

“Main Event’ Buff Austin comes out and says that he should be in the main event as his name signifies.  He is tired or getting looked over and tells someone in the back to come out and fight him.  He says he will defeat whomever it is or will call it quits.  Mr. Wrestling #5 comes out and Buff seems ok with it.  For the first 14 minutes of the match, Buff held his own but after eating 2 consecutive million $ kneelifts, he started to struggle…and struggle he did for the next 16 minutes without submitting or getting pinned.  The match ends in a time limit draw but at the end, Buff was getting destroyed.  Since Buff didn’t lose the match, he doesn’t have to retire but I’m sure MW5 will want another shot at putting him out for good.  Mr. Wrestling #5 says that he will challenge Buff Austin to another match on another day and wants Buff’s career on the line.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that if Buff were to do this again, Mr. Wrestling #5 would have to do the same.  After thinking about it for a minute, he agreed.  That match will happen at a later date.  (30 min draw; 35 min for the segment)

The cameras immediately pan to the back where there is a commotion.  The camera man breaks through the crowd only to see the Rock on the ground laid out.  On him there is a sign that reads “#CJ knocked your candy ass out bitch.”  Max is standing there and is furious.  He screams “CJ!!!” (think Star Trek’s Captain Kirk (or Spock from the reboot) screaming “Khan!”)

We make it back to the ring for the next match of the Fiend vs ‘the Elitist’ Reid Rothchild.  After both men got in the ring, Fiend went to shake Reid’s hand and got bitch slapped instead.  The Fiend took the ‘can of whoppass’ from Reid and used it on him beating the tar out of him for 7 minutes.  Finally, he nails the Last Caress and gets the 3 count.  The Fiend looks to the camera and tells the Miz he’s next.  Reid is all kinds of pissed off and storms out of the ring.

We are back in the interview area where The Desperados are approached by the Nigerian Wraith and Sonic Blade.  They say they want, nay, deserve a title shot.  Max, still furious, comes over and tells the Wraith and Blade that they suck and if they don’t start getting some wins, he’s going to pull a ‘Dana White’ and put them to pasture. Since he’s in this ‘mood’, all they get is a non-title match instead.

Leon Teremoto comes out first and then is followed by Hardcore Champion ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone.  This match is for the Hardcore title.  The ref announces that this match will be a Tables, Ladders and Chairs stipulation.  For the first 10 minutes of the match, Leon used the ladder to beat down the champ in hopes of softening him up.  All it did was make him more motivated.  The longer the match went on, the more rabid the fans became screaming for tables to be broken and blood to be spilt.  The match continued with only one table being used and it didn’t break.  The match ends up hitting the 30 minute mark and we have ourselves yet another draw.  After the match, both men continued to shove each other but finally relented and reluctantly shook hands afterwards.  (30 min draw)  

In the back, the Fiend responds to the Miz’s comments.  He says at the Clash, he walks out as the champ or walks out permanently. 

We are back in the ring for our next match The Desperados vs Nigerian Wraith & Sonic Blade.  The Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) come down and sit at commentary.  Max comes out and says that they need time for the main event so the time limit on this match is cut down to 20 minutes.  Following suit to 3 other matches, this one went the distance with the Desperados KILLING them.  Wraith and Blade are very lucky this one ended in a draw or Max could very well see them put on the chopping block. (20 min draw)

Backstage, as Taylor Bella is walking towards the ring, she responds to Raquel’s comment and says that Raquel should underestimate her just like Jupiter Jane did and she’ll show everyone who the better champ really is. 

It is time for our Main Event.  Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella comes out first to a mixed reaction from the crowd.  Next, the Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel comes out and is booed all the way to the ring.  We are reminded that this is a non-title match.  This match really was the highlight of the night and truly lived up to being a main event.  Raquel started off strong and like it was assumed, she underestimated the Diva’s Champion.  After hitting a face plant, Taylor took over and controlled the match.  Raquel tried on a few occasions to sneak out but Taylor wouldn’t let her.  After a few minutes, Raquel hit a hammer smash (not a literal hammer) to the back of Taylor’s head and took back over.  Jupiter Jane came down during the match and distracted Taylor.  Raquel then hit her with the Simply Ravishing and rolled her up for the 1-2-3.  Just as the bell rang, Southern Belle, all bandaged up, runs down and attacks Raquel.  Taylor attacks Jane and the 4 of them all fight up the ramp and to the back.  (22 min; 25 for the segment)

Just when we thought the show was going to be over, HWF World and Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt comes out for one last promo:

"A leader that does not glorify the triumphs of his peers is no leader at all. As I look down upon the destruction I’ve wrought, I see what is left from the trampling over all the bodies of my fallen enemies.  Soon, you will all see me climb that majestic ladder. My victory over Brock Lesnar will bring forth a glorious new era, an era in which the Eater of Worlds retains his spot in this world as champion of all those desperate little needy souls that he had to trample along the way. And I will not be alone, for Abigail is always at my side.  As I gather new disciples to help spread the word, we will annihilate all these unworthy little creatures. United in splendor, we will roam the Earth like giants, casting out the light of our message: Follow the buzzards." 

4 people dressed in robes (druid-like) come out and they are carrying…what the hell… an unconscious Brock Lesnar.  The hooded individuals roll Brock in the ring and then depart.  Bray places his foot on Brock and while holding his titles over his head, he begins to laugh manically.  The show then ends.

Stay Tuned.  The PPV is up next. 

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.07

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Last episode, GM Max McGillicutty said that today’s show will be hosted by a familiar face.  He comes out to start off the show and welcomes the fans for attending.  Max then introduces the host for tonight’s show…here…in Nashville.

“If you smellllllllllll…what the Rock…is…cookin’” blares over the speakers and the Rock comes out to a HUGE pop.  It is deafening.  Rock saunters down to the ring and climbs the turnbuckles soaking in the adulation from the millions…and millions…of the Rock’s fans.  The Rock says he is the host for tonight’s show.  “Finally, the ROCK has come BACK to Nashville.  The Rock says that he and #CJ will have a showdown in the ring tonight with a contract signing.  #CJ had best put on his ‘big boy pants’ and show up.  And make sure they’re your brown pants because the Rock isn’t going to be responsible for what will happen when you finally come face to face with the People’s Champion.  The Rock is here to #TCB (take care of business). #CJ, you got what you wanted. You Finally got the People’s Champion’s attention so just BRING IT.  If you smeellllllalalalalalala…what the ROCK…is…cookin’.”  #BrownPants begins trending almost immediately.

Backstage, Daniel Bryan meets up with GM Max McGillicutty.  He says that he doesn’t want to wait any longer and wants his rematch now instead of waiting for the PPV.  Max thinks about it for a moment and agrees but says that with this change, it becomes one fall…winner takes all.  If Daniel loses, there are no more rematches.  Bryan agrees.

It is time for our first match which has Charlotte vs Cactus Jackie for her spot ranking for the Diva’s title.  These two have met before when Charlotte debuted but Jackie did not come out ahead and now she has something at stake.  Charlotte took the match to Jackie who was getting schooled pretty badly but would not lay down long enough for a 3 count.  Finally, as we were nearing the time limit, Charlotte locked Jackie in a Figure Four Necklock and used that to finally get that elusive 1-2-3.  Charlotte moves up in the rankings and Jackie drops.  (24 min)

In the back, X factor member Christopher Daniels cuts a promo saying he’s next in line for the hardcore title shot and will bring gold to the X-Factor.  He’ll see Magnum Kone at the PPV.

Our next match is also for ranking with Prince Devitt vs Heath Slater for his spot ranking for the North American title.  This one was a relatively short match that saw Slater Gator actually put on a good showing but after attempting a flying dropkick and missing, Devitt caught him with an ankle lock and got Heath to tap out.  Prince Devitt moves up in the rankings.  (4 min) 

While being interviewed backstage, HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt offers a world title shot to Bobby Roode tonight.  Bobby Roode walks over and accepts and says the Reign of Wyatt ends tonight.  Bray watches as Bobby walks away and starts to laugh.          

We head back to the ring for our next match which is Nikki Bella challenging Alicia Fox for her spot ranking for the Women’s title.  This one went 15 minutes and was very one-sided as Alicia beat the tar out of Nikki.  Even with interference from her twin Brea, it didn’t help as Fox was on fire for this.  Alicia ends up catching Nikki with a tiltawhirl backbreaker and then made the cover to get the 1-2-3.  Alicia retains her spot.  (15 min)

In the back, Miz is being interviewed and he mocks the Fiend for 1) stealing his belt like a coward and not returning it and 2) he couldn’t get the job done.  The interviewer points out that Miz didn’t get the job done either and Miz gets all mad and storms off.

In ring action continues Kenta vs Daniel Bryan for the North American championship.  Bryan definitely brought his A game but it wasn’t enough to keep up with the new champion.  The two battled hard with Kenta having the slight edge.  Bryan managed to lock in the Yes Lock but Kenta was quickly able to get to the ropes.  After a bit of more back and forth action, Bryan hits Kenta with a forearm smash and Kenta blasts back with the Go To Sleep.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Kenta retains the NA title (7 min)

GM Max McGillicutty comes out for the World title contract signing between current champ Samoa Joe and the previous champ Austin Aries.  Aries comes out first with the X-Factor followed by the champ who was accompanied by the Enforcers.  Aries immediately grabbed the contract from Max and signed it.  Samoa Joe then also signed it and before we knew what was happing, they were brawling in the ring.  Their teammates all joined in the fray as all hell breaks loose.  Max finally gets everyone to separate and then The Rock comes out and says that these teams will fight tonight in our main event…in a steel cage.

#CJ arrives and GM Max McGillicutty says that the host of the evening has called for a contract signing after the next match and #CJ is required to head to the ring.  If he shows his true cowardice, he will be FIRED.  Max walks away and just as reporter Larry Morton is walking by, #CJ goes into Promo Mode: 

“Once again the unstoppable force that is CJ is cheated by the forces that be........I've defeated giants and slayed monsters, only to be upstaged by actors, imposters, ice cream socials, and powder puffs!!!!!! we have wretches dead beats and leprechauns continually stroking literally and figuratively the powers that be for title shots, main events and false victories!!!!! Yet you the paying public continue to be the pubic hairs that cheer, comfort and hide all these pricks!!!!! This whole federation, collaboration....... abomination is like a cheap thrill, a $2 prostitute!!!!!! but all you have witnessed the greatness of the REAL PC!!!!!! AND AT YOUR RASH OF CHUMPIONS #CJ will show all of you what a real entertainer is capable of!!!!! I will change the face of sports entertain like no other!!!!!! CJ out.”  #CJ then goes off to get ready for his showdown with the Rock.

We go back to the ring for our World Title Match between the champion Bray Wyatt and Bobby Roode for the HWF World title.  The champ had Bobby’s # and kept him on the defensive for a lot of the match,  During the match, Brock Lesnar comes out and stands on the ramp.  Bray ignores him but Roode gets distracted and when he turns around, gets hit with Sister Abigail.  Bray makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Bray retains his title.  Brock runs down and hurls Roode out of the ring before brawling with Bray.  The two are finally separated when the suits came down from the back to break it up.  (7 min for the match, 10 for the segment)

After everyone was cleared out, #CJ comes out with Bubba Horowitz (“son” of former real life jobber Barry Horowitz) and they are dressed like boxers.  They saunter down to the ring to the music “Eye of the Tiger” and #CJ pretend boxes the air.  Both men are wearing jean shorts hanging half the way down their asses.  Before #CJ could get on the mic and open his big mouth again, out comes our guest host for the evening.  Rock comes out to a pop that was louder than before (not sure that was even possible) and Rock gets on the mic. 

“The Rock says He says he is calling #CJ out for calling himself #PC (People’s Champion).  There is only one People’s Champion and that is the Rock.  Hell, #CJ isn’t even the Peep’s Champion as that moniker was held by Christian who by the way was a much better wrestler than #CJ could ever hope to be.  Conan (#CJ gets mad when Rock doesn’t refer to his proper name) only thinks of himself…me, me, me…therefore he is now known as the “Meeples Champion”. (#1 trend worldwide by the end of the night). 

#CJ interrupts and starts signing the contract.  “Finally ........big wiff oh air....the rock has brought his candy ass out of Hollywood and into the squared circle to meet his maker....but guess what Mr Hollywood this ain't a movie......no writers and this isn't gonna end well for you.... sorry rocky no happy ending for you...... so I suggest you take your ass back up that ramp, very fast, before I get very furious.....maybe call up Marky mark beg him to be part of his lil funky bunch......!!!!!!  Ahahahahaha you see rock,  you had your shot, your moment to shine, but guess what.....that moment is over.....don't come down here and try to steal my shine, just cuz the spot light is now on me don't look to me to resurrect your career....I'm cool your big Hollywood now, and ewww your buff... been hitting the weights but guess what..... down here in the ring we hit back....and I'm not gonna let the gm, the writers, and I ain't for Damn sure gonna let the owners tell me how it's gonna go down...so when you step in here with me rocky Miavia best believe it's for real....... so better call your agent check your schedule ....make sure this move doesn't interfere with Hollywood…”

Rock cuts #CJ off with holding his hand up.  Rock says that the Meeples Champion likes to flap his gums and even though he no longer goes by the name “Jones”, he was never a real Jones.  The only real Jones (Rock points to the Omegatron) is this guy and on the screen comes Osmosis Jones (from the Animated series).  Osmosis Jones (voiced by Chris Rock who did the character in the movie) backs up the Rock saying that #CJ can’t beat him and won’t and when he loses, and loses bad, #CJ will be the one leaving.  #CJ attacks the Rock and the two start brawling.  #CJ hits a low blow on the Rock and then stands over him.  Rock gets back up pretty quick (#RocksStones begins to trend) and he hits #CJ with a Rock Bottom.  However, he hit him SO HARD that #CJ’s pants fell down.  Rock turns #CJ over and then puts the contract on his back and signs it.  Rock poses one last time to the cheering from the crowd before leaving.  Bubba Horowitz came in after it was all done and helped #CJ to the back.  Osmosis Jones was still on the screen saying “Boy, you got yourself in a world of trouble” and the fans cheered.  As a reminder to all…#CJ put his career on the line and he must win or he’s out a job.

It is time for our Main event:  The X-Factor vs the Enforcers in a steel cage.  The Enforcers came out first as the cage was being assembled and waited in the ring.  Once assembly was completed, the X-Factor came out.  This one saw that after a triple team on Mark Henry, he gets injured and doesn’t participate in the rest of the match.  That did not stop the Enforcers from controlling the match.  Aries had made the hot tag to AJ Styles who cleaned house.  After Aries got a few minutes to rest, he was back in fighting Joe.  He hits Joe with a Slingshot corkscrew press and then tags out to Daniels.  Daniels nails a double jump moonsault and lands on Joe.  AJ and Aries then took out Ryback.  Daniels makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  The X-Factor make it to the door and exit.  They win the match in a 21 minute fight.  With that, the show comes to an end.  Next issue is our milestone so stay tuned.

Before we sign off, here is how the PPV is looking as of right now (card subject to change)

Magnum Kone vs Christopher Daniels for the Hardcore title.

The Desperados vs the Steel Curtain for the tag team titles

Taylor Bella vs Jupiter Jane for the Diva’s title

The Ascension & Kane vs Prestige Inc in a rematch for the 6 man titles

Samoa Joe vs Austin Aries for the CSWA World title

Ravishing Raquel vs Southern Belle for the Women’s title

The Peoples Champ vs the Meeples Champ:  The Rock vs #CJ.  There will be a special guest referee.

Miz vs the Fiend in a Rematch for the US title in a Steel Cage

Bray Wyatt vs Brock Lesnar for the World title in a steel cage.  

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.06

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue is mostly about challenges for ranking spots which means, yep, you guessed it, no #CJ. 

The first match of the night has Alberto el Patron challenging Jeff Jarrett for his spot ranking for the CSWA World title.  Patron is accompanied to the ring by his A-Team teammates Antonio Cesaro and Adrian Neville.  This was a very evenly matched throughout the entire match.  At one point, Alberto is tossed out of the ring but makes it back in quicker than anyone expected and locked JJ in a rolling cross armbar.  His proximity to the ropes are all that saved him.  As the match progressed, JJ dragged Alberto’s face across the ring rope but instead of Alberto holding his face in pain, he grabbed JJ and locked in the rolling cross armbar a second time.  Luck again was on JJ’s side as he made it to the ropes to break the hold.  As the match was nearing its conclusion, Alberto hits a scoop powerslam but JJ pops up and hits Alberto with the Stroke.  JJ makes the cover and with a bit of tight pulling, gets the 1-2-3.  Jeff Jarrett retains his spot.  (12 min)

Southern Belle cut a promo saying that Raquel disrespected her and wants her in the ring.  Max comes over to make the match for tonight.

Our next match is Sonic Blade & the Nigerian Wraith challenge Crowe & Kalisto for their title shot.  Blade and the Wraith aren’t even in the top 10 so a win here gets them one step closer to realizing a dream.  For 9 minutes, Blade and the Wraith were controlling the tempo of the match but as time went on, Crowe and Kalisto figured things out and ended up taking the match to their challengers.  As the match went on, the Wraith hit Solomon Crowe with a chairshot to the head.  The ref only caught the tail end and questioned Wraith to what he was doing.  He of course pleaded innocent.  This gave Crowe enough time to hit a headlock driver and roll the Wraith up for the 1-2-3.  Crowe and Kalisto retain their spot. (19 min)

In the back, the Fiend is being interviewed by Larry Morton.  He says he knows the location of Miz’s US title but will not disclose it.  Morton pointedly asks if the Fiend was the one in disguise who actually took the belt.  The Fiend says No, it wasn’t him but he did have a hand in it.  The Fiend says that tonight, he gets the Miz one on one and hopes to be the one who shuts the Miz’s mouth for good.

Taking a break from tag team action, Sami Zayn challenges Buzz Steel (Steel Curtain) for his spot (ranking) for the X-Division title.  For 10 minutes, Buzz controlled the match but started to run out of steam and that allowed Zayn to open the flood gates.  Zayn dazzled everyone with his high flying moves and kept the fans on the edge of their seats.  Zayn nails Buzz with a scoop slam piledriver but Buzz kicks out at the very last second.  Zayn then proceeds to climb the corner turnbuckle.  Buzz struggles to his feet and hits the ropes and Zayn crotches himself on the top turnbuckle.  Buzz pulls him partially off the corner and then hits the Buzz Cut (Diamond Cutter).  He rolls Zayn up and gets the 1-2-3.  Buzz Steel retains his spot.  After the match, he helps Zayn to his feet and shake hands in a mutual sign of respect.  Both leave at the same time.  (17 min)

The Miz is being interviewed and calls the Fiend a cheat, a stealer and a liar.  He will eliminate the Fiend from the HWF and CSWA once and for all and will be able to show off his title wherever he goes.

So far, it seems that everyone who’s been defending their ranking spot have succeeded.  Next up is Starbuck Steel (the other half of the Steel Curtain) challenging Big E for his spot (ranking) for the IC title.  Big E wasn in control for practically the entire match.  Starbuck just couldn’t catch a break until his partner Buzz Steel came out.  Buzz provided some words of wisdom to his tag team partner and sent him back in.  Little good it did.  Big E blasts Starbuck with a big foot to the face.  He makes the cover but Starbuck gets his leg on the rope.  Langston then hits a military press and drop.  He goes over to yell at Buzz Steel telling him to take a hike while he finishes destroying his tag team partner.  Starbuck rolled Big E up with a small package and (with a hook of the tights), got the 3 count.  Starbuck Steel gets the win and moves up in the rankings while Big E drops.  The rest of the New Day run out but the Steel Curtain leave them stewing in the ring.  (20 min)

Jupiter Jane cuts a promo on Taylor saying she almost ended the career of her tag team partner.  She promises that at the Clash of the Champions, she’ll make Taylor pay…in blood.

Next up is two of the most interesting female performers on the roster…Southern Belle vs Ravishing Raquel in a non-title match.  If Belle wins, she will be next in line for a title shot at the PPV.  The challenger took the match to the champion right off the bat.  However, the longer the match went on, the champ would gain ground back.  The two fought a really tough match for a whopping 28 minutes and just as Raquel was setting up for the Simply Ravishing, Belle caught her with a flying body press and with a hook of the leg, gets the 1-2-3.  Belle will be receiving a title shot at the Clash of the Champions PPV.  After the match, Raquel attacked her and locked in the Ravishing Chickenwing and refused to let up.  She held on long enough till she heard a ‘POP’.  She then let go and Belle rolled around in the ring holding her arm.  She looks to be in excruciating pain.  Raquel leaves without further incident. 

Ken Anderson approaches GM Max McGillicutty and asks for his unconditional release after his humiliating loss to Sheamus in under 60 seconds.  Max says no but he will allow him to move to the CSWA.  Ken thinks about it for a minute and accepts.  Max says Sonic Blade will be moved to the HWF so he can be with his teammate the Nigerian Wraith.

Just when we thought we’d get through the show without #CJ, a video with him rears its ugly head. 

“I was just in the bathroom, and i smelt what the rock has been cooking, and its worse than his career!!!!!  Why, oh why we’ve seen hogan retain belts for waaaay to long, run companies a muck and into the ground, we’ve seen corpses literally rise from the dead, and stick around way after his entire career rotted!!!!  I’ve seen hermorphodites and lil homos (x pac) last way longer then his 1 2 3 career should have, I’m seeing soft serve pedophiles, and reborn recycled wraiths emerge as talent?????  Next thing you know Caitlyn Jenner is gonna be your main event ahahahahahaha, is she gonna hold the belt and the womens title at the same time hahahahaha.....I CANNOT WAIT to show this entire circus what heights i can and will bring it too when i face this ex loser, turn chumpion, actor!!!!!!  I ran 1 hollywood out of here, watch me run this hollywood outta here.  #CJ OUT!!!!!” (We hear a toilet flush in the background.)

Next up on the card Bobby Roode challenges Viktor (the Ascension) for his spot (ranking) for the world title.  Viktor starts off pummeling Roode for about 3 minutes until the Desperados come out and distract Viktor.  Bobby jumps up and hits the Northern Lariat and rolls him up for the 1-2-3.  Bobby moves up in the rankings and Viktor moves down.  (4min)

In the back, Belle is being tended to my medical who say her shoulder is dislocated.  Belle tells the medic to hold she shoulder down and the forcibly twists her body popping her shoulder back in the socket.  You can see the anger, pain and frustration radiating off her.  Belle says she gets her hands once again on Ravishing Raquel and it will be at the PPV and once and for all, she will prove why she is Women’s Champion material…bum shoulder or not.

We head back to the ring for the next match which has Leon Teremoto vs Bram for his spot (ranking) for the North American title.  This was another close match that saw Leon keep up with Bram move for move.  The fans were surprised to see this guy get up and move.  At the 15 minute mark, Bram is thrown out of the ring and he was just too tired (or so it seemed) to continue.  Bram ends up getting counted out and Leon gets the win via countout.  He moves up the ranking and Bram moves down.  (15 ½ min)

GM Max McGillicutty says the next show will have a special host and that you all need to tune in to see who it is.

It is time for the Main Event:  The Miz vs the Fiend for the US title (and the location of the belt).  GM Max McGillicutty comes out first and introduces the Fiend.  He comes out and hands the GM a piece of paper (presumably with the location of the title).  Max looks it over and nods.  The Fiend heads to the ring.  The Miz comes out next and grabs the paper from Max and his eyes go all wide with shock.  He looks at the Fiend in the ring and immediately charges him.  Max stops him before he got in the ring and tells Miz that this will be a specialty match.  It was determined to be a Lights Out match.  The two fought tooth and nail and beat the holy hell out of each other for what seemed like an eternity (was actually 28 min).  Neither could get a leg up over the other.  As we got to that 28 minute mark, the Miz hits the Fiend with a haymaker and Fiend hits Miz with the Last Caress at the exact same time.  Both men went down.  The ref counted 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10.  Both men are counted out and the match comes to an end as a double countout.  GM Max McGillicutty comes back down with the US title in his possession.  Max says these two put on a hell of a fight but this one is not over.  Max says these two will indeed meet one more time and this time will be in the confines of a steel cage.  Max says he is holding up the title and will award it once these two have their final confrontation in the unforgiving structure.  Both Miz and the Fiend had to be helped from the ring.

With that, the show comes to an end.  Stay tuned as this is really starting to get good.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.05

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  The show begins with GM Max McGillicutty coming out.  He thanks the fans for coming out to the show and says that after flapping his gums and ranting and raving, #CJ will have a match right here and now.  He calls #CJ out who comes out and gets into the GM’s face.  Max orders #CJ to the ring or he will be fired.  #CJ heads down to the ring.  Max then introduces his opponent and it is none other than…BROCK LESNAR.  #CJ bolts out of the ring and grabs a mic.  He says that if he has to fight Lesnar now, he wants the IC title on the line.  Max thinks about it for a second and says “No”.  Brock gets in the ring and tells #CJ to man up and get in the ring.    Max then announces that this will be a No DQ match.  Uh Oh…not good for #CJ.  #CJ kept running from Brock but finally fell to the awesome power that is the Beast Incarnate.  HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt came out.  Lesnar threw #CJ out of the ring.  Wyatt runs in and brawls with Lesnar until he drops Brock with Sister Abigail.  Bray then left the ring.  #CJ sneaks back in and drops an elbow on Brock and makes the cover on Brock and what is the biggest upset of the YEAR if not the decade, he gets the pin.  #CJ gets the win but there was no title on the line so he walks away with nothing. (Editor’s note: HAHAHAHAHAHHA) (8 min)

We just got an update on Madame Jade who got busted open after taking a chair shot from Taylor Bella.  It appears that the injury was not as severe as it initially looked and she will make a speedy recovery.  Madame Jade says that after Jupiter Jane gets her shot at Taylor, win or lose, she wants the Bella sister after that.

The next match on the card is Curtis Axel (NA) challenges Zack Ryder (IC) for his spot ranking.  Zack barely outperformed Axel who was doing pretty well on his own.  The two fought with no one really getting a substantial advantage over the other.  This one came to a close when the 30 minute mark was reached.  Axel remains in the North American top 10 and Ryder retains his spot for the Intercontinental title. (30 min)

North American Champion Daniel Bryan says he’s putting the title on the line today against one of Japan’s greatest young talent Kenta Kobayashi.  He is looking forward to the match later on.

We go back to the ring for our next spot ranking match.  Eric Young is challenging Tajiri for his spot.  For 14 minutes, EY looked to be the favorite of the match but the Japanese Buzzsaw turned that around after nearly taking off EY’s head with a kick.  Tajiri then took over beating down EY and after blinding him after spitting green mist in his eyes, Tajiri hits a german suplex and pins EY’s shoulders to the mat for the 1-2-3.  Tajiri retains his spot.  (23 min)

We cut back to the interview area where Natalya and Ravishing Raquel are having a faceoff.  Natalya challenges Raquel for a shot at her title and after some prodding from Natalya, Raquel finally agreed.  That match will be later.

Next on the card is Team WTF (Jack Swagger, Bo Dallas and Frankie Kazarian) facing off against Robbie E, Ethan Carter III and Rockstar Spud.  Team WTF was on fire.  They took the match to the challengers but after a lot of cheating by ECIII, Spud and Robbie E (which included attacking all of them on the outside of the ring, ECIII rams Frankie (the legal man) into the ringpost and he was unable to answer the 10 count.  Spud and ECIII were dancing and pissing people off until Bo and Swagger recovered enough to chase them away.  They forgot Robbie E who was trapped in the corner.  Bo and Swagger both beat on Robbie until ECIII and Spud made the save and pulled him to safety.  (4 ½ min) 

Once in the back, Team WTF regathered, and making his way over is the Olympic Hero Kurt Angle.  Kurt says that they were actually looking really good but are in need of some leadership.  Kurt says he can help them all be all they can be.  Kurt points out that Jack Swagger is All-American.  He moves on to Bo Dallas and says that he comes from a solid family (Son of Mike Rotundo and nephew to Barry Windham) and says Frankie is the ass-kicker of the team.  Kurt suggests they drop the name Team WTF and become the NEW Varsity Club.  Swagger is on board and so is Frankie.  Bo is the one hold out.  Kurt reminds him that his dad (Mike Rotundo) was a founding member of the original Varsity Club and that he would do his family proud taking on this legacy.  Bo agrees and it seems we have a new team led by Kurt Angle…The Varsity Club. 

It’s time for more action with another 6 man tag team match.  The New Day (Xavier Woods, Big E Langston and Kofi Kingston) heading to the ring and they say they want a match and will take on anyone who wants a piece of them.  The Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) come out and introduce their partner for the evening…Stardust.  This was nothing short of an ass kicking.  The Steel Curtain and Stardust were wiping the mat with the members of New Day but, to their credit, constant tagging kept their hopes alive.  This went on for a whopping 30 minutes and we have ourselves another draw.  The New Day hightailed it out of there as they wanted no further embarrassment.  (30 min)

Mr. Anderson is in the back and he says “Finally, I get my hands on Sheamus and after this match, one of us will be the victor and the other a loser.  I say loser because that person will have quit…Not from tapping out mind you but yelling into a microphone that he gives up.  Once I beat Sheamus and make him scream, I will be free to pursue any title of my choice without worrying about that white ghost attacking me at every turn.  Now, it’s the time for Missssssstttttteeeeerrrrrrrrrrr Aaaaannnnddddeeeerrrrssssssoooooonnnnnnnnn.”

It’s time for our next title match which has the Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel defending the title against Natalya.  Raquel took control and for the first 10 minutes, owned the match.  After that, Natalya hit the Nattie by Nature but only got a one count.  Natalya’s run only lasted a few minutes and the champ took over again.  Raquel ate another Nattie by Nature but had enough intestinal fortitude to toss Natalya out of the ring.  Nattie went sailing over the top rope and landed on the steps.  She ended up getting counted out and the match was awarded to the champ Ravishing Raquel.  Raquel posed in the ring with her title as the fans booed and she flipped them off and left.

In the back, Southern Belle approaches Ravishing Raquel as she returns from the ring and asks for a match.  Raquel pie faces her and the two begin to brawl until it is broken up by the backstage workers.

A promo from Bray Wyatt was then shown.  "She taught me. She taught me from a young age. She said 'you got to get them before they get you. A rattlesnake's skin is the same color as the leaves,' she said. And we all understood her. She led us with her love but she taught us that the fires, well, they were our friends too. 'The world is an evil place,' she said. And we agreed. And I was there, I was there when she took her final breath. She pulled me in close and she said, 'you're the one.' She said, 'They chose you, long before you were ever in existence.' And I understood what she meant. Her touch could save the world but her kiss burns it to the ground. I love you, Sister Abigail.  Brock, you will feel MY pain."  Creepy.

Next on the card is our next title match.  Kenta Kobayashi comes out first and then is followed by the North American Champion Daniel Bryan.  Bryan was the more aggressor but Kenta was just amazing.  The fans were on the edges of their seats for the entire match. What few moves Kenta was able to whip out just dazzled the mind.  Daniel was wearing Kenta down and he picked him up and set him on the top corner turnbuckle.  He then went to the other side, ran and jumped like he was going to hit a hurricanrana but Kenta caught him in mid-air and nailed a powerbomb.  He crawled over and made the cover.  The ref counted 1...2…3.  Kenta has just become the NEW North American Champion!  Daniel Bryan gets ready for the next fall (assuming this is a best of 3 falls) but then GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that Daniel is not getting his rematch tonight but will get it at the next show.  Bryan isn’t happy about it but accepts it. (9 min)

‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal comes out and says that he wants the next match after Bryan gets his rematch.  The challenge has been made.

In the back, #CJ says that he should be the rightful champion and after he destroys the Rock at Clash of the Champions, he wants Lesnar back in the ring to teach him who the ‘real beast’ is….whatever #CJ.

It is time for our Main Event:  Ken Anderson vs. Sheamus in an I Quit match.  This is the end to their feud and a pretty pathetic way to finish off the show.  Ken connects with a lariat but Sheamus chops the knee right out from under Ken.  Sheamus locks in the Irish Cloverleaf and using the ropes for additional leverage, got Ken to start screaming.  The ref walks over with a mic and Ken screams “I Quit!”…all in under a minute.  Sheamus gets up, looks one last time at Ken and then leaves.  Ken limps to his feet and then walks back with his head held low.  With that, the show comes to an end.

Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.04

Hello fans and welcome back to our show.  The show begins with the lamest lameass, the world’s greatest Jackass, the one and only #CJ.

#CJ storms out to the ring and brings the show to a screeching halt.

“once again another lame show........"the millions and millions "..........of #CJs fans ohhhh and both of the rocks fans are left dissatisfied, bored, and outraged that the true PC is not in the show, and well frankly they are disgusted that he still isn't THE headliner.....I mean come on I thought.....no I KNEW this show sucked when Bollywood Bulk Whogan was in charge, but WOW this is really hitting the crapper........these "owners, and gms" down right suck......they cater to fan boys, virgins.....12 pack Milwaukees Best swiggin, cousin loving, Confederate flag hanging inbred rednecks!!!!! Ohhhhh and 8 year old........thank God that the 1950s home pedophile wasn't part of this show, giving out ice cream and candy in hopes of luring 1 of these poor daddy's, uncle, brothers backstage with him...!!!!!!! But what do you expect from the commercial cooperation that is the HWF/cswa!!!!!!! Ewwwwww 400 shows, big fricken whoop this place was crap before I showed up, and OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE 500 with shows like this!!!!!! Your line up is crap, get rid of the has beens and never will be's, yes rock and and Mr mcflurry I am talking about you!!!!! You know what I don't even know why the he'll I'm even commenting on this…#CJ OUT!!!!!!!!! (drops the mic).  #CJ power walks to the back to the booing from EVERY fan in the building.

Now that that schmuck is done, we can get on with the rest of the show.

Our first match on the card is Alexander Rusev challenging Jeff Hardy for his spot ranking for the Intercontinental title.  Rusev attacked Hardy before the match.  Just as the bell rang, Rusev went for a kick to the gut but Hardy reversed it and hurled Rusev out of the ring.  He then went to the top turnbuckle and nailed a swanton bomb on Rusev on the floor.  Hardy rolls back in and gets the win after Rusev got counted out.  The whole match took a whopping 30 seconds.  A very pissed off Rusev walked to the back.

In the back, Ryback called out Big Show for sticking his nose into his match.  He said he wants the match tonight. 

Next on the card is two superstars battling for ranking.  The Viper Randy Orton is taking on Bobby Lashley.  This one went a lot longer and the fans were ok with that.  For 3 minutes, both men went toe to toe but after Bobby nailed a huge powerslam, that changed everything.  Randy kept the fight going but he was not on all cylinders.  Both men ended up on the outside of the ring numerous times but made it back in each time.  After taking a beating, Orton could not continue after being planted with a powerslam from Bobby. Lashley made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  (15 min)

GM Max McGillicutty says that #CJ is crossing the line with his stupid-ass attitude.  Next show, #CJ will get a taste of humble pie.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  Desperado member El Chango comes out and is in singles action tonight.  He is a contender for the X-Division title held by Tyler Breeze.  El Chango heads down accompanied by his tag team partner the Stache.  X-Division Champ Tyler Breeze heads down.  It is apparent that the Desperados are the favorites.  For 16 minutes, El Chango had the champs number and beat him from pillar to post.  However, the tide changed when MJ came out and spoke into a mic “Desperados, you days are numbered.  The 6 Man Tag Team Champs the Ascension want to remind you that they will want their rematch and one day, you’ll have to pay the piper.”  While El Chango was distracted, the Stache is attacked by the Ascension and they hit the Fall of Man on him on the floor.  As soon as El Chango noticed what was going on, Breeze took him down with a massive chop.  Breeze makes the cover and gets the win.  El Chango went to assist the Stache and they left to get him checked out.  (20 min)

In the interview area, the Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) say that it’s time to make a name for themselves again and say they want Jupiter Jane and Madame Jade in the ring.  They will prove to them who the first ladies of wrestling really are.

Next on the card is Ryback taking on the Big Show.  Ryback was in the ring first and then came Big Show.  Show was laughing at Ryback as he walked to the ring.  Ryback took offense and immediately went after him.  Both men battled hard and Ryback was definitely more aggressive than he’s been in the past.  At the 8 minute mark, Show throws Ryback out of the ring.  The other Enforcers (Samoa Joe and Mark Henry) come out on stage.  Big Show turns to watch them but then Ryback hits him with the Meathook.   He makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Ryback stands over Big Show and then turns and leaves.  (9 min)

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that he won’t make Joe work tonight but since Mark Henry wants to make his presence known, he has a match tonight. Mark heads to the ring and asks who his opponent is.  Max introduces John Cena.  This match will be for Henry’s placement for the US title.  Cena comes out and is received with mixed reaction from the fans.  Mark cheated more in hopes of getting more of the boos but Cena went toe to toe with him.  At the 10 minute mark, Henry and Cena were brawling on the outside of the ring.  Henry then smashed John’s head into the ringside steps.  He then rolled back in to beat the 10 count.  Mark Henry gets the win at 10:30 via countout.  John was bleeding pretty bad from his nose (we think it may be broken).  Henry laughed as he left the ring. 

Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone was reading a list of those wrestlers who are in a line for a shot at his title.  He looked over the list once, twice and finally settled on someone.  He said that tonight, he is defending his hardcore title in the main event against…the Nigerian Wraith.

We go back to the ring for our next match which has Madame Jade & Jupiter Jane taking on the Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky).  Jane & Jade held their own for 7 minutes until Taylor Bella came out.  She took a chair from one of the fans at ringside and went to swing it at Jupiter Jane in hopes of taking her out.  Jade saw what was coming and dove in front of the chair shot taking it for her partner.  Taylor looked pleased nonetheless and after returning the chair to the fan, she left. Jane was on her own against the Beautiful People and try as she could, she could not withstand the double teaming from the veterans.   The end came after Angelina Love connected with a top rope cross body block rolling Jane up (and with a handful of tights) gets the 1-2-3.  Love and Sky then leave the ring.  Jupiter Jane was able to recover and she went out to help Madame Jade (who was busted open from the chair shot) to the back for medical attention.  (10 min)

It is time for the main event but wait…out comes #CJ.  He storms down to the ring but doesn’t get in the ring.  He goes to sit at commentary.  The Nigerian Wraith (Sonic Blade was not there) came down first and then was followed out by the Champion. The Hardcore champ gave ice cream to the fans (kids and adults alike) at ringside before getting in the ring.  He announced that the stipulation for this match would be a Bull Rope match (both men are connected together by a bull rope).  The bell rings and Wraith immediately tries to choke out Magnum Kone.  Kone battled back (much to the chagrin of #CJ) and popped Wraith a few times with the cowbell.  Wraith just kept kicking out.  Magnum hits the Wraith with the popsicle (piledriver) but Wraith kicked out at the last second.  Magnum then threw him into the corner and hit the Ice Cream Sandwich (splash in corner).  Wraith collapses and Magnum makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Magnum Kone is victorious in his title defense.  #CJ gets up from commentary and rushes the ring attacking the King of Cones.  #CJ blasts Magnum with the ringside bell (GONG!) and then picks up the hardcore title but then makes like he’s wiping his ass with it.  He then drops it on Magnum before leaving.   Before he can leave the ring, over the loudspeaker blares “If you Smelllllllll….what the Rock…is…cookin” and #CJ says he won’t be fooled twice.  He turns to go get a mic and standing in front of him is…THE ROCK!  Rock blasts #CJ with lefts and rights and then tosses him to the ropes but #CJ holds on and then jumps out of the ring to avoid further beating.  He swears and screams at the Rock as he makes his way backwards up the ramp.  Rock remains in the ring motioning “Bring It” but #CJ won’t have any of it.  The show then comes to an end.

Stay tuned as things are really heating up for the August PPV “Clash of the Champions”.  More to follow. 

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.03

Hello fans and welcome back to the newsletter.  The show begins backstage with Tyson Kidd storming into GM Max McGillicutty’s office.  He demands a match with Xavier Woods tonight.  Max says the match will happen but with the dawning of a new day (pun intended), Tyson better find backup…just in case.

The first match of the evening is tag team action with Sonic Blade & the Nigerian Wraith taking on the A-Team’s Antonio Cesaro and Adrian Neville.  The A-Team go on the offensive immediately and after only two offensive moves from Blade and Wraith, the A-team beat them mercilessly…for 5 minutes.  Cesaro gets the pin on Blade after hitting him with a cradle facebuster.

In the interview area in the back, The Steel Curtain say that with their last non-title match over the champs, they are next in line for a title shot.  The Ascension with MJ walk over and say that they have yet to get their rematch.   They challenge the Steel Curtain for their shot at the PPV. Max comes over and says if they win tonight, they will pull double duty at the PPV as Prestige Inc. have already demanded their rematch at the PPV.

Next on the card is Southern Belle vs Cactus Jackie.  Jackie immediately attacked Belle before the bell and the ref finally got the match officially started.  Belle battled back and for the first 4 minutes, took control but after Jackie eye raked her, she then took over on the offensive for the next 7 minutes.  Belle finally caught a break and evened the score.  Jackie pulled Belle out of the ring and then repeatedly rammed her back into the steel post.  She rolled her back in and then locked in the desert stretch.  Holding the ropes for leverage, she got Belle, who was in excruciating pain, to tap out.  Jackie gets the win via submission in 17 minutes and takes her spot in the Diva’s top 10 while Belle moves down in the rankings.

R-Truth and Sting are in the back talking about how things have not gone their way since Wyatt’s Warriors broke up.  Truth and Sting say they should give it a shot on their own as a team and see how things go.

Enforcer member Ryback comes out and says he’s destroyed everyone in his path and screams “Feed Me More”.  He mocks the performers backstage when no one immediately comes out.  Just as he is getting ready to leave the ring, out comes Bobby Lashley.  Bobby says “You want more?  I’ll give you more.”  He gets in the ring and our next match begins.  Bobby owns the match until Big Show makes his way down.  Ryback is distracted and yells at Show.  Bobby then grabs Ryback and hits a Full Nelson lift and slam and covers Ryback for the 1-2-3.  The other Enforcers (Samoa Joe and Mark Henry) run down but Bobby gets out of there pretty quick.  The Enforcers help Ryback to his feet and then leave.

In the back, Big Van Vader is saying that Brock was directly responsible for him not winning the World title.  He issues a challenge to Brock (who is not here) saying he will defeat the Beast for the IC title or he will leave.

Next on the card is the ‘revenge’ match between Tyson Kidd and Xavier Woods.  Xavier came to the ring with this New Day teammates first.  Tyson came out second alone but stopped on the ramp.  He said that he had to search high and low but he found two guys who agreed to watch his back…out comes R-Truth and Sting.  Truth and Sting force Big E and Kofi Kingston part of the way up the ramp to keep them from the ring.  The match stayed pretty even for 9 minutes until Tyson hit Xavier with a slap to the face and Xavier countered with a Lost in the Woods.  2 minutes later, Xavier nails a swinging cradle suplex and gets the 1-2-3.  Woods is victorious.  He leaves and then pushes his way past Sting and R-Truth and celebrates with his teammates on the ramp.  R-Truth and Sting help Tyson up and then leave.  (11 min)

Brock arrives in the back and is met by GM Max McGillicutty.  He tells Brock about Vader’s comments.  Lesnar agrees to fight him tonight and after Vader loses, he will go back to the obscurity he came from.

The World Tag Team Champions the Desperados came out and said that they were there to scout the next two matches since all the teams eventually want title shots. 

First, out comes the Attitude Adjustment (Abyss and Adam Rose).  Abyss is scolding Rose telling him that he will start and Rose can just sit on the outside…this one time.  Their opponents come out at it is R-Truth and Sting.  What started off as a sleeper really turned into one of the best matches of the night.  All 4 men saw action in the ring and held their own.  Both teams traded the lead but neither could score the pin.  After a 30 minute beatdown, the bell rings bringing this one to an end via time limit draw.  The fans really enjoyed what they saw here (as well as the Tag Team Champs) and gave both teams a standing ovation.  All 4 men actually shook hands after the match.  (30 min draw)

As those teams left, our next match begins.  This time it’s the Ascension with MJ taking on the Steel Curtain.  At risk is the title shot that the Steel Curtain are supposed to get.  If the Ascension win, they will be wrestling twice on the card.  This was another hard fought match that actually saw Starbuck Steel get injured at the hands of MJ.  Towards the end of the match, MJ had snuck behind Starbuck and hit him in the head with a steel chair knocking him out.  The Desperados tried to intervene and inform the ref but was too busy attending to Starbuck.  The Ascension then attacked the Desperados and had the upper hand till Buzz Steel ran over with a chair of his own and knocked out Konnor and Viktor.  Buzz rolled Viktor back in and got the ref’s attention.  He then hit a german suplex and hooked the leg for the 1-2-3.  The Steel Curtain will still get their title shot at the PPV.  MJ, who had gotten mouthy with Buzz Steel, didn’t see a recovered Starbuck standing behind him.  As MJ started to back off, he bumped into Starbuck who hit MJ with some lefts and rights and threw him to the ropes but Konnor pulled MJ from harm and they and Viktor left the ring swearing and telling the Steel Curtain they’d get even.  (23 minutes for the match; 30 for the segment)

In the back, GM Max McGillicutty reprimands the Ascension and MJ for their cowardly attacks and MJ threatens Max saying he’d better watch himself or he’d be out on disability before he knows it.

It is time for the main event.  Intercontinental Champion Brock Lesnar is taking on Big Van Vader for the IC title.   Just as both men got to the ring, out comes the HWF World and Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt.  He is dragging his rocking chair behind him.  He angles it towards the ring and sits down to watch.  Vader started off strong for 2 minutes and then ran out of gas.  Lesnar then took over and beat the holy hell out of him.  Both men hit some power moves (Vader hit the Vader bomb a few times but couldn’t capitalize on it) and Brock watched as Vader kicked out of the F-5.  Finally, an exhausted Vader stumbled into a Press and Slam (pretty vicious slam at that) and Brock covered him for the 1-2-3.  Brock Lesnar retains his title and Vader is now gone.  Brock looks up the ramp only to see that Bray is no longer there.  Bray, in fact, was standing behind him in the ring and then swung the rocking chair at Brock and it exploded.  Brock drops and Bray picks him up and hits Sister Abigail.  He makes a mock cover and counts 1…2…3 by himself and then stands over Lesnar with both titles raised high as the show comes to an end.

We want to also point out that we are approaching our 400^th issue of this newsletter since I started all this over a decade ago.  Issue 8.8 (right before the PPV) will be the 400^th issue and starting with that one, we will change from using a monthly designation to the ongoing number of the issue.  The PPV will end up being Issue #401. 

Stay tuned as we know this is only going to get more interesting as time goes on.