Hello
fans and welcome back to our show. The
show begins with the lamest lameass, the world’s greatest Jackass, the one and
only #CJ.
#CJ
storms out to the ring and brings the show to a screeching halt.
“once
again another lame show........"the millions and millions
"..........of #CJs fans ohhhh
and both of the rocks fans are left dissatisfied, bored, and outraged that the
true PC is not in the show, and well frankly they are disgusted that he still
isn't THE headliner.....I mean come on I thought.....no I KNEW this show sucked
when Bollywood Bulk Whogan was in charge, but WOW this is really hitting the
crapper........these "owners, and gms" down right suck......they
cater to fan boys, virgins.....12 pack Milwaukees Best swiggin, cousin loving,
Confederate flag hanging inbred rednecks!!!!! Ohhhhh and 8 year
old........thank God that the 1950s home pedophile wasn't part of this show,
giving out ice cream and candy in hopes of luring 1 of these poor daddy's,
uncle, brothers backstage with him...!!!!!!! But what do you expect from the
commercial cooperation that is the HWF/cswa!!!!!!! Ewwwwww 400 shows, big
fricken whoop this place was crap before I showed up, and OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T
WANT TO SEE 500 with shows like this!!!!!! Your line up is crap, get rid of the
has beens and never will be's, yes rock and and Mr mcflurry I am talking about
you!!!!! You know what I don't even know why the he'll I'm even commenting on
this…#CJ OUT!!!!!!!!!
(drops the mic). #CJ power walks to the
back to the booing from EVERY fan in the building.
Now
that that schmuck is done, we can get on with the rest of the show.
Our
first match on the card is Alexander Rusev challenging Jeff Hardy for his spot
ranking for the Intercontinental title.
Rusev attacked Hardy before the match.
Just as the bell rang, Rusev went for a kick to the gut but Hardy
reversed it and hurled Rusev out of the ring.
He then went to the top turnbuckle and nailed a swanton bomb on Rusev on
the floor. Hardy rolls back in and gets
the win after Rusev got counted out. The
whole match took a whopping 30 seconds.
A very pissed off Rusev walked to the back.
In
the back, Ryback called out Big Show for sticking his nose into his match. He said he wants the match tonight.
Next
on the card is two superstars battling for ranking. The Viper Randy Orton is taking on Bobby Lashley. This one went a lot longer and the fans were
ok with that. For 3 minutes, both men
went toe to toe but after Bobby nailed a huge powerslam, that changed
everything. Randy kept the fight going
but he was not on all cylinders. Both
men ended up on the outside of the ring numerous times but made it back in each
time. After taking a beating, Orton
could not continue after being planted with a powerslam from Bobby. Lashley
made the cover and got the 1-2-3. (15
min)
GM
Max McGillicutty says that #CJ is crossing the line with his stupid-ass
attitude. Next show, #CJ will get a
taste of humble pie.
We
head back to the ring for our next match.
Desperado member El Chango comes out and is in singles action
tonight. He is a contender for the
X-Division title held by Tyler Breeze.
El Chango heads down accompanied by his tag team partner the
Stache. X-Division Champ Tyler Breeze
heads down. It is apparent that the
Desperados are the favorites. For 16
minutes, El Chango had the champs number and beat him from pillar to post. However, the tide changed when MJ came out
and spoke into a mic “Desperados, you days are numbered. The 6 Man Tag Team Champs the Ascension want
to remind you that they will want their rematch and one day, you’ll have to pay
the piper.” While El Chango was
distracted, the Stache is attacked by the Ascension and they hit the Fall of
Man on him on the floor. As soon as El
Chango noticed what was going on, Breeze took him down with a massive
chop. Breeze makes the cover and gets
the win. El Chango went to assist the
Stache and they left to get him checked out.
(20 min)
In
the interview area, the Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) say
that it’s time to make a name for themselves again and say they want Jupiter
Jane and Madame Jade in the ring. They
will prove to them who the first ladies of wrestling really are.
Next
on the card is Ryback taking on the Big Show.
Ryback was in the ring first and then came Big Show. Show was laughing at Ryback as he walked to
the ring. Ryback took offense and
immediately went after him. Both men
battled hard and Ryback was definitely more aggressive than he’s been in the
past. At the 8 minute mark, Show throws
Ryback out of the ring. The other
Enforcers (Samoa Joe and Mark Henry) come out on stage. Big Show turns to watch them but then Ryback
hits him with the Meathook. He makes
the cover and gets the 3 count. Ryback stands
over Big Show and then turns and leaves.
(9 min)
GM
Max McGillicutty comes out and says that he won’t make Joe work tonight but
since Mark Henry wants to make his presence known, he has a match tonight. Mark
heads to the ring and asks who his opponent is.
Max introduces John Cena. This
match will be for Henry’s placement for the US title. Cena comes out and is received with mixed
reaction from the fans. Mark cheated
more in hopes of getting more of the boos but Cena went toe to toe with
him. At the 10 minute mark, Henry and
Cena were brawling on the outside of the ring.
Henry then smashed John’s head into the ringside steps. He then rolled back in to beat the 10
count. Mark Henry gets the win at 10:30
via countout. John was bleeding pretty
bad from his nose (we think it may be broken).
Henry laughed as he left the ring.
Hardcore
Champion Magnum Kone was reading a list of those wrestlers who are in a line
for a shot at his title. He looked over
the list once, twice and finally settled on someone. He said that tonight, he is defending his
hardcore title in the main event against…the Nigerian Wraith.
We
go back to the ring for our next match which has Madame Jade & Jupiter Jane
taking on the Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky). Jane & Jade held their own for 7 minutes
until Taylor Bella came out. She took a
chair from one of the fans at ringside and went to swing it at Jupiter Jane in
hopes of taking her out. Jade saw what
was coming and dove in front of the chair shot taking it for her partner. Taylor looked pleased nonetheless and after
returning the chair to the fan, she left. Jane was on her own against the
Beautiful People and try as she could, she could not withstand the double
teaming from the veterans. The end came
after Angelina Love connected with a top rope cross body block rolling Jane up
(and with a handful of tights) gets the 1-2-3.
Love and Sky then leave the ring.
Jupiter Jane was able to recover and she went out to help Madame Jade
(who was busted open from the chair shot) to the back for medical
attention. (10 min)
It
is time for the main event but wait…out comes #CJ. He storms down to the ring but doesn’t get in
the ring. He goes to sit at
commentary. The Nigerian Wraith (Sonic
Blade was not there) came down first and then was followed out by the Champion.
The Hardcore champ gave ice cream to the fans (kids and adults alike) at
ringside before getting in the ring. He
announced that the stipulation for this match would be a Bull Rope match (both
men are connected together by a bull rope).
The bell rings and Wraith immediately tries to choke out Magnum
Kone. Kone battled back (much to the
chagrin of #CJ) and popped Wraith a few times with the cowbell. Wraith just kept kicking out. Magnum hits the Wraith with the popsicle
(piledriver) but Wraith kicked out at the last second. Magnum then threw him into the corner and hit
the Ice Cream Sandwich (splash in corner).
Wraith collapses and Magnum makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3. Magnum Kone is victorious in his title
defense. #CJ gets up from commentary and
rushes the ring attacking the King of Cones.
#CJ blasts Magnum with the ringside bell (GONG!) and then picks up the
hardcore title but then makes like he’s wiping his ass with it. He then drops it on Magnum before
leaving. Before he can leave the ring,
over the loudspeaker blares “If you Smelllllllll….what the Rock…is…cookin” and
#CJ says he won’t be fooled twice. He
turns to go get a mic and standing in front of him is…THE ROCK! Rock blasts #CJ with lefts and rights and
then tosses him to the ropes but #CJ holds on and then jumps out of the ring to
avoid further beating. He swears and
screams at the Rock as he makes his way backwards up the ramp. Rock remains in the ring motioning “Bring It”
but #CJ won’t have any of it. The show
then comes to an end.
Stay
tuned as things are really heating up for the August PPV “Clash of the
Champions”. More to follow.
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