HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.11

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We have lots to comment on so let’s get right to it.

After his loss to Bobby Roode, James Storm asks for his unconditional release.  Master Bull declines but says that he will offer to trade Storm to the CSWA.  Storm says that is acceptable.  Bull and Hogan meet and agree to trade Ken Anderson to the HWF.  The trade is effective immediately.

The Fiend follows the Miz to the set of his new film (title unconfirmed).  The Fiend is mistaken for an extra for a scene and gets added to the mix.  During the scene, the Miz is under fire and barely escapes.  As he is moving off-camera, the Fiend stands in his way.  The Miz was not expecting it and falls backwards and sets off explosions that were supposed to be in the next scene.  The director yells at Miz but he complains it wasn’t his fault.  The smoke finally clears but the Fiend is gone…or was he really there in the first place???

The show finally begins with Bram heading to the ring and talking about not being used.  Adam Rose comes out and says the same thing.  The two have a singles match but it ends up getting thrown out after MVP and Adrian Neville get involved.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and makes this a tag team match.  This one almost goes the distance.  For the first two minutes, Rose and Neville were in control.  After that, not so much.  The match went right to the wire.  In the ring, MVP hits Adam Rose with a fisherman’s suplex and starts to go for the pin.  On the outside, Bram sees that the count will expire before the ref counts to 3 so he jumps out of the ring and blocks the timekeeper’s view of the clock.  This allowed MVP to get the 3 count and thus secure a win for his team.  The timekeeper tried to have words with Bram but ended up getting pie-faced.

A vignette airs with Hardcore Champion #cj says he’s taking a break from his hectic wrestling schedule and going out to a nice restaurant.  After making a ruckus (he is an egotistical ass) and orders his food (the waiter made him pay in advance…just because), Big Show (a briefcase in hand) w/ Lil Naitch walk in.  #cj sees him and freaks out.  He bolts through the restaurant, through the kitchen and out the back door.  Big Show and Lil Naitch were only there to eat.  Wonder why #cj ran?  (As a reminder, Show’s Money in the Bank contract allows him to a match anytime, anywhere 24x7 as long as a ref is present).  Show and Lil Naitch end up being seated at what was #cj’s table and are immediately served all the delicious food #cj had ordered for himself…and it was free since #cj already paid for it.  By the way, the briefcase he was carrying was not his money in the bank contract; it was his travel case.

Ken Anderson makes his first 2015 HWF appearance and heads to the ring.  Before he can start talking on the mic, Sheamus comes out and says that he wants to welcome Ken to the HWF the best way he knows how.  Ken asks “Alcohol?”  Sheamus laughs and then hits Ken with a Brogue Kick.  He laughs and walks off.

The Band come out and call out the Ascension. MJ comes out and says that his team is NOT defending the titles tonight and that these impatient no-bodys just have to wait.  Axe suggests a 6 man match.  MJ likes that and says his team with Kane is just unstoppable.  Pick and Axe better go find them a schmuck to team up with them.   Axe looks at Dirk and asks “I didn’t think of that.”  They leave the ring.

Our next match is Bo Dallas vs Stardust.  This was another one that went long (28 minutes).  During the match, both men were in control at different times but it seemed that the longer it went on, the more bored the fans got.  Stardust saw what was happening and they were beginning to lose the crowd’s interest.  Stardust puts Bo on the top turnbuckle and then climbs.  He lifts him via a suplex but then turns it into a jackhammer.  The crowd pops huge for it.  Stardust makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  The fans actually start a Stardust and “that was awesome” chant.  Some of the fans who had left asked their neighbors about what happened and instantly regretted leaving during the match.

The Scorpion Warrior Sting heads out to the ring and calls out Bray Wyatt.  GM Master Bull comes out and says that Bray is not there tonight.  Sting says that Bray is manipulative and will do evil things.  Sting says he will not stoop to Bray’s level and he will fight with honor and with the backing of the fans, he will beat Bray.  Bray needs to watch his back.  Sting then leaves.

‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal makes his way out and says that since losing the X-Division title so long ago, he’s been put on the sidelines. He wants back in the action.  Newly recruited (from HWF) Curtis Axel comes out and challenges him to a fight.  Curtis says that AxelMania is on fire and will help him defeat Lethal right here and now.  Lethal hits a springboard dropkick that sends Axel out of the ring.  He is back in and hits Jay with single leg takedown and follows it up with a running one-handed neckbreaker.  That was it for Lethal.  Curtis rolls him up and gets the 3 count.  Axel does some posing for the crowd (ala Hulk Hogan) and then leaves.  (2 min for the match; 3 for the posing)

AJ Styles is in the back and says that Randy Orton is a sore loser.  Styles beat him fair and square but if Randy wants to make it personal, so be it.  Anytime, anywhere Orton wants to get beat again, he’s game.  Orton runs in and attacks him and drops him with an RKO.   “Anytime…anywhere…damn straight” Orton says before leaving.

Elsewhere backstage, the Band (Axe and Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon) are trying to convince someone…anyone to be their partner tonight.  Absolutely NO one wants to team with them.  Finally, David Otunga comes over and says he’ll team with them on two conditions…1) they pay him an appearance fee and 2) He gets to start off the match.  The Band agrees and they finally have their third member.

We go back to the ring for our Women’s match with the Beautiful People v1 (Belle and Valentine are v2) Madison Rayne and Angelina Love taking on Paige and Natalya.  This one saw both Paige and Natalya get injured (Paige twice) but even with that advantage, the Beautiful People could not stop the onslaught from their opponents.  The match ends up going to a 30 minute time limit draw.  Paige had to be helped by medics when she left the ring.

It is time for the MAIN EVENT.  The Ascension and Kane will be taking on the Band and David Otunga.  As the Band came out, they gave Otunga a briefcase (presumably filled with cash) and they headed to the ring.  MJ comes out next and introduces his team Konnor and Viktor – The Ascension and then introduced Kane.  Otunga got his wish to start off but Kane opted to begin.  Otunga was not happy.  This one went 9 minutes and did not see the Band get involved at all.  Each time Otunga tried to make a tag, the Band would step away.  Otunga got destroyed.  First by Kane and then Viktor and Konnor.  The end finally came after Konnor hurled Otunga out of the ring and he got counted out.  Kane and the Ascension were victorious.   After the match, Axe hits Otunga with the Axe and Dirk hits Otunga with the Pearl drum drop.  They take their briefcase and leave. 

GM Hulk Hogan comes out and thanks the fans for attending but he is interrupted by the familiar music of the Super Warrior.  SW comes out to a pop from the fans (those that didn’t immediately take off).  He heads to the ring.  “ My apologies Mr. Hoooogan but the Suppa Warriah has something to say.   The Suppa Warriah says he’s had a great run and feels that the time of the next generation is on the horizon.  With that said…”  Super Warrior is interrupted by MJ.  “Our time is now you big doof.  Your time has come and gone.  Leave now before you get hurt anymore.”  SW began hulking out in the ring.  “Maggot, you dare interrupt the Suppa Warriah…”  He is cut off after Konnor and Viktor run out and beat him down.  They hit the Fall of Man on him and leave him out.  Viktor takes the mic.  “This is the time of the Ascension.  Anyone who has a problem with that can deal with US.”  Konnor takes the mic “You don’t like it, we don’t care.”  They stand over the prone form of the Super Warrior as the fans throw junk at them in the ring.  They drink in the fans reaction and seem pleased.  MJ was fortunate enough to have an umbrella with him so he didn’t get soaked.

That is all for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.10

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue comes jam packed with more action and will see both the 6 Man Tag Team champs Prestige Inc. defending their titles as well as the CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle.

Wandering around backstage once again is the Caped Crusader.  He is sulking; dragging his feet and not watching where he is going.  He stops when someone steps in his way.  It is none other than CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle.  Angle asks what the h…e…double toothpicks is going on.  What IS his problem anyway?  The Crusader looks up at Kurt with a defeated look in his eyes and says “You were a hero to millions.  Now, you are no better than the scum you used to fight.  You WERE somebody, Kurt.  Now, you’re a no body.”  The Crusader begins to walk away but Kurt grabs his arm.  “Hold on a moment.  I’m the damn World Heavyweight Champion.  You better recognize.”  “Kurt” the Crusader interjected “I recognize you for what you are…a cheat and a coward who deserves everything coming to him.  Enjoy your tainted limelight.”  The Crusader walks away.  Kurt shakes his head and moves on.

We head to the ring for our first match which has former X-Division Champion Tyler Breeze challenging Xavier Woods for his spot for the X-Division title.  Their fight goes 23 minutes and Breeze is whupping Woods’ ass.  Finally, after the ref actually pleaded with Breeze to end it, Tyler nails Xavier with the Implant DDT and this one is over. 

In the back, Austin Aries approaches CSWA GM Hulk Hogan.  “Hey Hulkster, can I have a word?”  Hogan says sure.  “I think I’ve done a great job continuing to lead the A-Team like a leader does but now I feel I deserve more.  I’d like to ask for that title match against Kurt Angle tonight.”  Hogan thinks about it and says “Sure, Brother.  Do the former ‘Hogan’s World Order’ proud.”  Aries promises to get the job done.

Our next match is Sting taking on Buff Austin.  For the first 6 minutes of the match, Sting is beating the HELL out of Austin.  Suddenly, HWF World and Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt comes out.  Sting sees him which causes a distraction.  Wyatt drags his rocking chair behind him and sets it up on the stage and sits in it.  He starts singing “I’ve got the whole world in my hands” when Buff nails Sting with the 3-inch punch and almost gets a 3 count.  Sting then spent most of the match on the defensive.  Right at the 11 minute mark, Bray started to make his way down to ringside.  Sting stopped short of delivering a Stinger splash and ate another 3-inch punch.  Buff rolled Sting up and with his feet on the ropes, gets the 1-2-3.  Buff Austin has just defeated Sting.  Buff sees Bray approaching and leaves the ring.  Bray gets in the ring and starts to help Sting to his feet only to hit him with Sister Abigail.  As Sting is out in the ring, Bray asks for a mic.

"My tongue, my tongue is the scorpion's tail. And when it starts striking, people start getting behind me. And they start getting behind me because I offer them hope. I offer them hope to men like Sting that want to see everything die. Sting, he hides behind that plastic smile. He plays the role of hero while everything around him burns. Well, I promise...all my people, I promise you this fairy tale is going to end. Sting, welcome to your new HELL.”  Bray drops the mic and leaves. Sting recovers and eventually leaves.

A vignette airs for a new wrestler coming soon:  Leon Teremoto from Latin America.  He is expected to debut soon.

Prestige Inc. (King Damian Sandow, Magnus and ‘the Elitist’ Reid Rothchild), the 6 man tag team champions, head to the ring and say they are defending the titles tonight.  The Asian connection (Tajiri, Sanada and Kenta) make their way out.  The Asian connection promises to become the champions or the member of their team who is pinned will quit.  This one is a very hard fought battle and after 11 minutes, Magnus nails Sanada with British Stomps and hits a bridge.  He makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Prestige Inc. retain their titles and Sanada is now out of a job.  He gets a standing ovation from the crowd and his teammates.

We are told that the Super Warrior will be with us live at our next show to make an announcement.  Hmm.  Wonder what that will be.

The Miz comes out and says that tonight is the Fiend’s one and only shot.  After this, he is heading to Hollywood to continue his career as an action/adventure hero. Miz comes out first and is followed by the Fiend.  This is a relatively short match that sees the Miz get pinned after being locked in the Devil’s Lock (figure four).  Miz limped away from the ring but didn’t seem to care as he is off to Hollywood.

In the back, MW3 meets up with the Nigerian Wraith.  The Wraith says he knows that MW3 wants a piece of #cj but it was the arrogance of #cj that cost them their match at Wrestlemania.  He wants a piece of him and feels he should get it first.  MW3 gives him his blessing and tells him to kick that sumbitch’s ass.  The Wraith then meets up with Master Bull and asks for the match to happen.  The title does NOT need to be on the line. He just wants #cj in the ring. 

#cj heads to the ring and he is accompanied by a new “Jones”…this one is former wrestler Nathan Jones.  “Waaah Waaah waaaaah every single time…#cj turned his back on me….are you serious you #Crybaby…I took on 40 something …yeah 40 something supposedly superstars, some simps and crybabies…and came out with the briefcase…and after my cash in, I’m the hardcore champ…now I’ve got a Big Showbaby (refers to Big Show), and casper the friendly wrestler challenging me…if I’ve told you once I’ve told you twice…I am the apex predator…I am at the top of the food chain…yet a 2x loser and a coat tail riding crybaby think they can call me…the #pc out for a shot that neither of them deserve…lmao…you 2 little girls should be fighting to see who should challenge for a women’s title shot…I refuse to defend my title until either 1 of these can actually beat someone…don’t we have a warm up show or something…how did either 1 of these jokers even make it on tv…you know what…someone get me whoever is in charge of this program…(drops the mic).

Master Bull comes out and says that #cj is fighting the Nigerian Wraith…now.  #cj ran from the Wraith for a good portion of the match (showing us what a coward he really is) but after Nathan Jones glared at the Wraith (must have scared him), #cj took the fight to NW.  #cj began a 10 minute beatdown on the Wraith and then called for a mic.  He said that this match which was previously NOT for the title, is NOW for the title.  #cj then locks the Wraith in a guillotine choke and he gets the Wraith to tap out.  #cj gets the win but Master Bull comes out and says that #cj cannot change the rules during a match so this was still a non-title match.  All of a sudden, the Big Show comes out with the ref once known as ‘Lil Naitch’ with his briefcase.  #cj sees this, grabs his title and runs away through the crowd.

The Stache and El Chango appear at Make a Wish Foundation.  They arrive with gifts of Fruit Roll Ups and Slim Jims (not sure the kids should be eating those).  The kids are ecstatic to see these two and the Desperados end up spending the entire day with the kids.  What great guys.

The Band are interviewed and they say that their time is now.  They are demanding their title shot at the Ascension at the next show.

It is time for our main event.  Kurt Angle defends the CSWA World title vs. ‘the Man’ Austin Aries.  Kurt and Austin begin to fight until the Caped Crusader comes out and Kurt is distracted.  Aries capitalizes on it and at the 6 minute mark, catches Kurt with a slingshot corkscrew press.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 to become the NEW CSWA WORLD CHAMPION.  Kurt is shocked and cannot believe what has happened.  Fellow A-Team members Antonio Cesaro and Abyss come out and celebrate with their teammate.  Angle sulks away.  The camera quickly cuts to the Crusader but he still seems as somber as he was before.  What will make this guy happy? 

Stay tuned to find out.  Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.09

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Before the show can begin, the HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt heads to the ring with mic in hand.    

“Sting, every night we lay our heads down to dream, and that's when our minds really start to tick. We start remembering all these things, these horrible things, these travesties that have happened to us in our lives. But in our dreams we are superheroes. In our dreams we can fix everything. We dream of revenge, we dream of payback. Just like that man, just like that we wake up and that's when reality starts to set in. That's when we go to the mirror and we look into it and remember that we are not superheroes and that we cannot fix everything. And so we bottle all this rage up inside of us and we go on living our dismal little lives as if nothing is wrong. But everything, everything, everything is wrong and I plan on fixing that.

You see, I used to have this mean old teacher and this teacher she used to look down upon me and she went to great measures to make sure that I remembered that I was a piece of trash and that I would never amount to anything in my life. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and that everything I believed in was a lie. So I went up to her and I said ‘Ms. Teacher Lady, what is it about you that makes you think that you're so much better than me?  Is it because your Mommy and Daddy paid for you to go to some fancy school so that you could wave this diploma around all of us?  So that you could look down upon children and force feed them propaganda?’ Well I say ‘na uh’.  She looked at me and she said ‘Bray Wyatt you are rotten, you stand for nothing.’ She said ‘Bray Wyatt the first time that I ever looked inside of your eyes I knew there was something inside of you. I knew that you were evil.’

But I'm proud to say that right now somewhere that teacher lady is rotting inside of some retirement home filled up with all of her life's regrets. But I Bray Wyatt stand in front of you here today as a conqueror, as a revolutionary, as the man of a thousand truths and I say ‘Miss teacher lady look at me right now. I got the HWF World title, the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship and the whole damn world in my hands.’

My ends justify my means.  Sting, welcome to Hell.”

Bray then drops the mic and leaves.

Brock Lesnar is pacing like a caged tiger backstage.  Master Bull walks over to him and tells him to chill.  Brock stares at him and says he doesn’t want to be in the main event tonight.  He wants his match right now so that he can leave and head home.  Bull says ok and tells him to head to the ring.

Our first match kicks off with Robbie E heading to the ring. He was wearing a brave façade but we could all see right through it.  Brock then heads to the ring and Robbie E just about peed himself.  Brock gets in the ring and rolls his neck from side to side.  We hear all this crackling at the announcer’s booth it was so loud.  The bell rings and Brock spends the next 22 minutes beating Robbie E down.  Robbie got a few shots in but in the end, it did little for him.  Brock choked Robbie on the ropes and then nails an F-5 for good measure.  He makes the cover and gets the win.  He grabs his title and immediately leaves.

In the back, Solomon Crowe approaches Master Bull and asks if he could get the vacant spot left from the Super Warrior.  Bull says he needs to think about it.

We head back to the ring and the Miz makes his way out.  He challenges Tajiri for his US title spot.  Tajiri comes out and gets in the ring.  Before the match could begin, the Fiend makes his way down and sits at color commentary.  Miz did not seem fazed by his former partner’s appearance.  Miz makes short work of Tajiri and in 11 minutes, catches Tajiri with a kick to the back of the head. He rolls him up and gets the 1-2-3.  The Miz has just taken Tajiri’s spot.  The Fiend gets up and stares at the Miz who just turns and ignores him and heads to the back.

There is a female fan at ringside holding a sign that says “Southern Belle is #1”  Belle comes out and gives her a hug and with a little tap on the chin, tells the fan she can do anything she wants.  Just put her mind to it and get it moving.  Gail Kim comes out and says she’s sorry to break up this little love fest (she is being sarcastically nasty) and says she wants her shot at the Diva’s title.  Belle says she’s not ready.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that Belle can’t hide behind her belt forever.  Belle says she’ll compromise and give Gail a non-title shot right now.  Gail says no and is the #1 contender.  She immediately attacks Belle.  Gail delivers a beating rarely seen.   Belle could not catch her breath.  She did manage for 20 minutes to successfully kick out of each pin attempt from the challenger.  Gail was going for a flying hurricanrana but Belle caught her in mid-air and nailed the Southern Swing.  She rolled her up and with a foot on the ropes, the ref counted 1-2-3.  Southern Belle retains her title.  She takes it and quickly heads to the back. (21 min)

The newest member of the HWF Donnie B meets up with Master Bull.  He tells Bull that the last time he met up with Bray Wyatt, he beat him for the HWF title and Bull ended up stripping him of it.  Donnie B says he can beat Bray and with the vacancy left by the Super Warrior, he wants that spot.  Bull says that lots of people do.  Bull says that Donnie B gets to take on Solomon Crowe and the winner gets that spot.

The next match is ‘The Original Big Daddy’ Donnie B taking on Solomon Crowe for the vacated HWF World title spot.  The match went 16 minutes total.  As each minute progressed, Donnie B got more and more vicious; taking it out on Solomon Crowe.  Finally, after the ref had taken a bump, Donnie B gets a chair and blasts Crowe with it.  Just as the ref is recovering, Donnie B makes the cover and gets the win.  The Caped Crusader appears on stage but just blankly stares and then turns around and leaves.

Master Bull calls both James Storm and Bobby Roode into his office and says that they are headlining the main event tonight.  Their match will be ‘I Quit’ rules. 

We head back to the ring where AJ Styles challenges Randy Orton for his spot.  Orton comes out and questions why he is being called out by Styles – someone who can’t defeat Kurt Angle.  The bell immediately rings and AJ hits him with the Styles Clash.  Orton falls out of the ring and does not answer the count.  AJ gets the win and the spot all under 30 seconds.  As AJ is leaving, Orton (finally recovered) runs up behind him and attacks AJ.  He hits AJ with an RKO on the stage.  Orton yells at him before turning and leaving.

MJ comes out first and says that it is bull that his team – the World Tag Team Champions – are not main eventing yet two schmucks such as Storm and Roode are.  So be it.  MJ introduces the Champs and the Ascension – Konnor and Viktor – make their way to the ring.  They are followed by the American Wolves.  The Ascension immediately attack the Wolves before the bell rings and beats them down.  Finally, the ref restores order and the match begins.  The Wolves battled back and took over early but the longer the match went on, it favored the champs.  Both teams beat the hell out of each other but their fight was interrupted by the familiar sound of a bell ringing.  They reached the 30 minute time limit.  Both teams, exhausted, left the ring on their own without further incident.

It is time for the main event.  This will be an I Quit match between James Storm and Bobby Roode.  Only one will walk away victorious (but really, this brutal match…does someone actually win?)  Storm begins by wrapping the microphone cord around Bobby’s neck and almost choked him out.  Storm stayed on the offense and kept Bobby on the defensive.  About the 8 minute mark, both men made their way out of the ring.  Roode reversed a whip and Storm ran smack into the ringside post.  Bobby picks him up and repeatedly rams his back into the unforgiving post.  Finally he rolls Storm back in.  Bobby locks in a Brutal Backbreaker and with all the damage done, Storm had no choice but to scream ‘I Quit’.  Bobby Roode, exhausted, leaves Storm behind and celebrates on his way up the ramp as the show comes to a close.

That is all we have for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.08

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  After a brief hiatus, we are back on the road with matches. 

With the demise of team Beer Money, both Storm and Roode are out of the tag team line up.  Their spot immediately goes to the Band (Pick & the Axe).  P & A immediately challenge the American Wolves (Davy Richards and Eddie Edwards) for their spot. That match is tonight’s main event.

HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt says he’s set a plague on the HWF and CSWA in the form of his graduated student #ConanJ.  Speaking of the egotistical jackass, #ConanJ taped an interview and had this to say:

“I’ve beaten and slain the giant already…and how I’ve proven he’s beneath me and I’m on to bigger and better things…”

“Poor, poor Paul Wight (aka Big Show)…we all know that this weekend was a bust for him…we all watched as he lost to the greatest sports entertainer and pure athlete in the game…

“I’m the apex predator…and why…why would I even wanna break a sweat to a 2 day 2 time loser like the big slow…I’m the hardcore champion…I’m the reason wrestlemania was a PPV/box office success…I dominated this little 3 day event…without me, you would be relying on the has beens and losers…you would be bringing in every 40 year old virgin, red neck, jenny craig rejects and of course selling advertising time for depends…I’m every woman’s fantasy…a real man’s man (not to be confused with William Regal’s Man’s Man)…not only am I the hardcore champion and the #PC and the undisputed favorite to be the 1 and only true champion!!! I will defend my title next in Dallas, Tx…too bad i will be the only good thing in that nasty, dirty low-life state…#cj has spoken.” (drops the mic)

With the Super Warrior out of action for an unknown period of time, he loses his spot in the World title lineup.  This creates a vacancy that I’m sure many people will be fighting over.

#CaseyJ says that Conan turned his back on him and for that, he is going to challenge him for the Hardcore title.  He is also dumping the (stupid) # but is not going back to Casey Jones.  He says it is time for a new beginning; that he will become like a ghost; a wraith, if you will.  He will now be known as the Nigerian Wraith.

Our show begins with Bo Dallas challenging Prestige Inc. member King Damian Sandow for his spot.  His Lordship ruled the roost here keeping Dallas at bay.  Towards the end of this ass kicking, Sandow got distracted by something and Dallas hit him with a double underhook facebuster.  Bo rolls him up and with his feet on the ropes, gets the 1-2-3.  Bo Dallas has just taken Sandow’s spot for an HWF World title shot.

Our next match has Curtis Axel (HWF) challenging Donnie B (CSWA) for his CSWA World Title spot.  If Axel wins, he moves to CSWA and DB is traded to HWF.  This is just another case of highway robbery.  Donnie B was wiping the mat with Axel until Curtis hit DB with a low blow and then nailed a fisherman’s suplex and with his feet on the ropes (does the ref not notice this stuff?), Axel gets the 1-2-3.  Donnie B is now HWF bound and Axel gets to move to the CSWA.

AJ Styles addresses his loss at Wrestlemania:  “Two years straight, I get a shot at the CSWA World title and both times, it’s against Kurt Angle.  This marks twice now that I’ve lost on the grandest stage of them all.  Kurt, you really are a solid champion but, like the Caped Crusader seems to think, you are missing something. I noticed it too when we fought.  Desperation…anxiety…loss of focus.  You defeated me, yes but the Kurt Angle of old would have done so in a much different fashion.  I realize my loss takes me out of the World title picture for now but I will work my way back up and become a champion once again.”

Tonight appears to be a night of challenges as it continues with Robbie E challenging the Stache for his Intercontinental title spot.  It appears this match is not exempt from the robbery taking place so far for this show.  Just like the others, the Stache was destroying Robbie E and at the 5 minute mark, Stache gets hurled out of the ring.  Robbie E then handcuffs the Stache to the ringside barrier resulting in him getting counted out.  Robbie E takes the Stache’s place.  The Stache is freed pretty quickly and takes the mic.  “Robbie E, you won the match.  Instead of waiting for your turn, you stole my spot.  But, you know, I’m a good hearted guy.  I won’t complain.  What I will do, however, is remind you of EXACTLY who you get to meet next…Brock Lesnar.  Have fun with that.”  Stache walks away and Robbie looks like death warmed over.

Buff Austin is in the back and he says he gets Lucas Johnston tonight.  Tonight, he gets to take out his frustrations on a no body. 

Next up is Tajiri challenging Daniel Bryan for his US title spot.  Bryan’s newly acquired North American Title is not on the line here.  Daniel owned this match and for once, no screw job finish.  The ref was on top of the action and did what he was supposed to.  This one goes 20 minutes and sees Bryan retain his spot after hitting Tajiri with a Regal Suplex. 

The Band say that they are the #1 contenders and not the Wolves.  However, they are being forced into a #1 contenders match against the Wolves but promise to walk out the victors.  Once the Wolves are defeated, it’s on to the Ascension.

Next is Buff Austin vs. Lukewarm’ Lucas Johnston.  Just as the match begins, the fans begin leaving (probably for food or a restroom break).  Buff takes offense and yells at the fans to sit down and watch him beat the crap out of Lukewarm.  Some fans return but others did not.  Johnston then attacked Buff.  Butt battled back and briefly got the fans attention until they got bored with Lucas Johnston and left to do what they needed.  Buff Austin gets the win in 16 minutes after hitting Johnston with a Snake Charmer slither.  After the match, he gets back on the mic and ridicules the fans for leaving during his match.  Those who remained booed.

It is time for our main event with the Band taking on the American Wolves for the #1 contender spot for the Tag Team titles.  First, the Band (Pick & the Axe) come out first and then are followed by the Wolves.  Before the match could begin, the Ascension and MJ come out.  MJ questions why either team wants to be first to get their asses handed to them by the Ascension.  He reiterates that his team is NOT losing the tag team titles anytime soon so it doesn’t matter who wins this match.  Both will get shots and both will be destroyed.  The fans boo MJ and the Ascension as they head down to the ring and sit at commentary.  Neither the Wolves nor the Band like this.  The match begins anyway.  The two teams fight but the Wolves are smaller and faster than their opponents and dazzle the Band with their speed.  At one point, Konnor gets up and drops the Axe with the Fall of Man.  The ref sees him walking around and, not sure what he is up to, sends him from ringside.  While that is going on, Viktor hits Eddie Edwards also with the Fall of Man.  The ref ends up sending the Ascension and MJ from the ring.  Davy Richards catches Dirk Devon with a DR Driver and hooks the leg for the 1-2-3.  The American Wolves retain their title spot. (13 min).

Just as the show is coming to a close, the HWF World/Undisputed Heavyweight Bray Wyatt comes out.  Bray says that the HWF and CSWA will be burned to its very core and only the strongest will survive. Everything and everyone from royalty to the lowest scorpion will meet their demise. Bray says he will survive because he is the lone survivor.  Bo Dallas comes out and says he demands his title shot now.  Before the match could begin, Bray beats the living tar out of him.  The lights go out and when they come back on, the Scorpion Warrior Sting is standing in the ring.  Wyatt, surprised, stares at Sting before walking off.

Stay tuned.  More to come.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.07 – Wrestlemania Fallout

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  THAT was a hell of a PPV.  Lots of surprising wins, loses and title changes.  And, of course, lots of fallout news.

Buff Austin complains about not being on the main show (except the battle royal but he got eliminated early) when a schmuck such as Lukewarm is on it.  Lukewarm Lucas Johnston is walking by and he attacks and beats down Austin.  Not quite sure who to cheer for now.

Southern Belle meets with Ravishing Raquel.  Raquel congratulates her on her win.  She says that Belle just wanted it that much more and therefore deserves it.  However, she’ll want the title back and Belle vs Raquel will happen again.

Miz explains why he turned on the Fiend.  He was tired of the Fiend bossing him around (Fiend kept telling him HE was the team leader when Miz said it should have been him).  Miz said he was tired of being the second half of this team (huh?  His name was the FIRST part of the team name).   Miz says that he will fight the Fiend only once and then he’s moving on.

Bobby Roode explains why he turned on James Storm.  Bobby says that Storm, as he’s always done, has made Beer Money about him and not the team.  Roode continues to give him the benefit of the doubt but Storm always disappoints him.

Dean Ambrose wants Kazarian.  Kazarian is walking backstage with Christopher Daniels when Dean Ambrose jumps out from behind some boxes armed with a chair.  He chases Daniels and Kazarian out of the arena, to their car and they drive off in a panic.  Ambrose hurls the chair at the car as it speeds away and it clatters on the ground.  Ambrose storms off in frustration.

GM Master Bull tells #cj that he won’t be stripped of the title but now has to deal with Big Show who is now in possession of the contract will be able to fulfill it any time in the next 60 days.  “Hey, next time make sure you sign the damn contract.  Big Show now has it and can fulfill it anytime in the next 60 days.”  #cj looks concerned.

The NEW Intercontinental Champion Brock Lesnar didn’t have much to say other than he was using the IC title as a stepping stone and will again become the World Heavyweight Champion.

HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt had this to say:  "You know who you are... I'm talking to you. Your entire life has revolved around dedication but I'm here to tell you that no matter how dedicated you are, you cannot compete with the force of nature. You cannot compete with the power of the wind or the ocean, and you most certainly cannot compete against the greatest power of them all - fear. For it is not your drive for success that molds you... it is your fear of failure. And I know deep behind your skin underneath the flesh and bone holds the key to your undoing. Do I have your attention now?”

The Super Warrior will be out of commission for an undisclosed amount of time.  #cj injured him pretty bad.  Only time will tell if SW will return to the ring.

After their win at Wrestlemania, the Band (the Axe and the Pick) said that they were ready for a tag team title shot and called out the Ascension.  They promised to do what Donnie B and MW3 could not…defeat the Ascension and send them packing.

CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle was asked about what is going on with the Caped Crusader.  Angle says he doesn’t know but he will find out.  He is not happy that CC’s appearance cost him the Undisputed Heavyweight title.

The NEW X-Division champion Roman Reigns thanked the fans for standing behind him and the management for doing what is right.  He is sure he and Kane will tangle but the outcome will not change and Reigns will still stand victorious.

Spider Violet, the winner of the Women’s Battle Royal, has decided she is challenging Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel for her title.  She has yet to decide on when and where.

Dolph Ziggler says John Cena and he fought through hell and he emerged victorious.  Now, it is time for him to concentrate on getting a title around his waist.  He throws out an open challenge to anyone who wants to step in the ring with him.

The American Wolves (Davy Richards and Eddie Edwards) apologized to the fans for not winning their war against Beer Money.  They feel they let the fans down but promise to do better next time when they challenge the Ascension for the Tag Team titles.

Paige says that the Women’s division as a whole is not as strong now that AJ Lee has been forced into retirement.  She says that it had to be one of them and in the end, she is glad she can still wrestle for the fans.

Alexander Rusev says he is being summoned home by Russian President Vladimir Putin.  He lost the title and now has questions he needs to answer.

New North American Champion Daniel Bryan says that ‘Davy finally slayed Goliath’.  He says that he will proudly represent the North American continent as its champion and do the fans proud.

John Cena says that his loss to Dolph Ziggler should never have happened.  The time limit was reached and there was no reason for it to continue.  However, that ship has sailed and now he needs to move on to new heights.

Goldust is asked about finally defeating his brother.  Goldie says that he pained him to beat Cody but Stardust – the character - had total control on his brother and was not letting go.  Goldust says that he hopes Cody finds his way home.

Lastly, the Million Dollar Question on the board:  After his loss to Bray Wyatt, does the Undertaker retire?  Unfortunately, there is no way to answer that question at this time.  Only the Undertaker will know when it is time for him to hang up his boots. 

That is all for now.  The shows are expected to start up again next week.  Stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.06 – Wrestlemania Day 3

Hello fans and welcome to Day 3 of WRESTLEMANIA.  Like the last two days, this one has great potential but does have a lot to live up to (comparison to the past 2 days).  Fireworks start off this show and the Chicago crowd is just electric.  

We first cut to the back for another promo from the egotistical #CJ:  “$$$$$ MONEY IN THE BANK $$$$$$!!!!!! I hate be a told you so.....buut well i told you so....even more epic than your little slam in the 1800s Hulk WHOgan.......the new slam that was not only heard...but felt around the world!!!! WHogan yeah yeah yeah yyou slammed a giant....i slammed a giant ...ohhhh and by the way ALSO beat 49 other no talent hating coat tail riders...to not only prove...but solidify the fact that i am the future of sports entertainment ......so you beat 1 giant ohhhhhhhh good for you......i am the giant slayer!!!!! Ohhhh and im not done...not by a long shot......i promised you that i would make my mark.....and i did.....this little event should be renamed to #wrestlemania, or how about #cjmania.....with all my little egomaniacs.....hahahahhaa ...no....i dont need or want all your little snot nose kids riding my coattails as well…its bad enough i have to carry this company.....but rest assured.....you will not have a doubt that #Cj is the truth!!!! #CJ OUT”.....DROPS THE MIC

GM Hulk Hogan comes out.  “The Hulkster is in the house, brother.  The Hulkster and all his CSWA-maniacs will be tearing the house down.  Tonight, CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle could very well become a 2 time Undisputed Heavyweight Champion.  Rusev vs Bryan in a flag match with the North American title at stake is finally tonight.  Former Tag Champs Donnie B & MW3 get the rematch they’ve been waiting for.  However, tonight is it.   If they lose, they must disband and not go after the tag titles again while the Ascension hold the titles.”  Master Bull then makes his way out.  “The HWF has a very strong presence here tonight.  We will dominate the show.  Speaking of the show, I will be breaking tradition and tonight’s main event will not be the one you would normally expect.  Wrestlemania is about breaking the mold and doing something new and that is exactly what I am doing.  Instead of the Undisputed Championship being our main event, it will be brother vs brother with Goldust vs Stardust in a Hell in a Cell cage.  I think it is time to get this started…brother.”  Pyro goes off again and it is time for our first match.

John Cena makes his way out to the ring for his match against Dolph Ziggler in a ‘last man standing’ rules match.  Cena is booed pretty badly.  Ziggler makes his way out and gets a massive pop.  Ziggler starts to go after John and he bails out of the ring.  The fans boo him and he flips them off.  Finally, he gets back in the ring and the match begins.  The two fight all over the ring and even into audience.  The two just pounded the hell out of each other and I guess they lost track of the time.  Cena started to get the upper hand and he dragged Dolph back to the ring.  He rolls him in and then brings in a chair.  Cena hits the F-U and goes for the pin.  1…2…the bell sounds.  Cena looks up confused.  Awwww, the 30 minute time limit was reached bringing this one to a close.  Master Bull comes out and says that a match of this importance does not end like this and there must be a winner.  He calls for the match to be restarted.  Cena goes for the pin again but Dolph kicks out at 2.  Cena tries to beat him down but Dolph battles back.  Cena grabs the chair but Dolph hits a fireman’s carry and he loses it.  Cena gets up but Dolph nails the Zig-Zag on the chair.  He crawls over and makes the cover.  The ref counts 1…2…3.  Dolph gets the win and basks in the cheering from the fans.  Cena leaves the ring defeated. (34 min total)

#ConanJ is in the back being interviewed by Larry Morton (twice in one day; man he must really love hearing himself spout crap).  Morton asks him why he turned his back on Team Jones.  “#teamjones?  #teamjones?...i should have known that the only person in the world i can trust is me…cowboys…forget you…you’re yesterday’s news…#cj is ready for the big time…money in the bank briefcase…i can claim a shot at the Hardcore title at any time…other’s talk crap about me?...i will deal with you punk ass biatches all in good time…#cj out” (drops the mic).

It is time for the next match.  The challenger, Samoa Joe comes out first.  He is then followed by the Hardcore Champion Big Show. The rules will be ECW rules.  Show beat the snot out of Joe.  It took Joe over 3 minutes before he got his first move in.  Finally, he started to battle back but Show still controlled the tempo.  Joe began to find his groove and nailed Show in the head with a chair drawing blood.  He went for a quick pin but Show kicked out.  Show then hit a Chokeslam and dropped him right on that same chair moments earlier drew blood from Big Show.  Show makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Big Show gets the win and retains his title. 

All of a sudden, #cj runs down with a ref.  He says this is a brass knuckles match and turns in his briefcase.  #cj then blasts Big Show numerous times with the brass knucks until Show is down and out.  #cj makes the cover and the ref counts 1…2…3.  #ConanJ has just defeated Big Show to become the NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION.  #cj parades around with his title and as his “fans” tried to congratulate him, they got spit on.  What an ASS!  I’m thinking he no longer has any admirers at all.  #cj leaves with his title.  Help comes from the back and they assist Big Show.  Show grabs the briefcase on his way back…dejected.  (20 min; 1 min)

In the back, the Caped Crusader is mindlessly wandering around backstage and passes an old fashioned red telephone under a clear dome.  The phone rings.  CC stares at it and then wanders off without ever answering it (throwback to the 60’s Batman series for those who don’t know).

We head back to the ring for our Women’s match: AJ Lee vs Paige – loser must retire.  AJ Lee comes out first followed by Paige.  They waste no time and put on a solid match.  There was probably less than 60 seconds of dead time during the entire match.  When one of the women would do a spectacular move, the crowd would chant “You are Awesome”.  There were lots of these chants directed at both women.  These two had a spectacular 15 minute battle.  Just as AJ was setting up for the Black Widow, Paige reverses it and locks AJ in the PTO (Paige tap out) right in the middle of the ring.  She had it locked in but AJ just wouldn’t quit.  After being locked in the excruciating hold for 60 long seconds, her injuries caught up to her and she tapped out.  Paige gets the win via submission.  AJ is now out of a job.  Both women hug after the match.  AJ leaves on her own.  The fans chant “Thank You AJ…clap, clap, clapclapclap.”  AJ smiled and waved as she left the ring…perhaps for the last time. (16 min)

Big Show is sitting in the back all depressed after losing his belt right after he successfully defended it. He opened up the case and what he saw blew his mind.  “What a dumbass” Show mutters.  He takes the case and walks off.

We head back to the ring for the World Tag Team Championship match between the Ascension vs Donnie B and MW3.  GM Hulk has decreed that if MW3 and Donnie B don’t win the titles, they must disband as a team.  MJ has a mic in hand:  “Your World Tag Team Champions are here gracing you with their presence.  We will retain our belts; I can promise you that.”  For the first 7 minutes of the match, the challengers took the fight to the champs. After multiple double teams on MW3, they took over the lead.  MW3 was kept in the ring for the majority of the match and would not be allowed to make the tag.  One time MW3 did make it, the ref didn’t see it and sent Donnie B back out.  By this time, a very worn out MW3 had been in the ring for 10 minutes – most of those were double teams by the champs.  Viktor pulls MW3 out of the ring and tries to whip him into the steel post but MW3 finds a surge of adrenaline and reverses it and Viktor kisses the steel post instead. MW3 rolls back in the ring just before the 10 count is reached.  The ref hits 10 and counts Viktor out.  MW3 and Donnie B win the match but not the titles.  MJ jumps in the ring and gloats that his team is still the champs.  Donnie B slugs MJ.  MJ rolls out of the ring.  DB and MW3 shake hands as their days as a tag team are over…for now.  They leave the ring; disappointed.

Our next match is up and out comes the North American Champion Alexander Rusev.  Rusev says that tonight, Bryan, as an American icon, will be destroyed and Russia and Rusev will be victorious.  He heads to the ring.  Next, Daniel Bryan comes out with the American Flag and gets probably the biggest pop of the night.  Both men watch as their flags are hoisted above the ring.  The two begin to fight and are pretty even for 10 minutes.  Bryan then loosens some of Rusev’s teeth after hitting an uppercut.  He followed it up with Regal suplex and a Yes lock but Rusev doesn’t tap.  Bryan then bounced off the ropes and blasted Rusev with a forearm smash.  He makes the cover and gets the 3 count but now has to retrieve his flag.  He climbs the turnbuckle and after fighting Rusev off, he snags his flag for the win.  Daniel Bryan wins the match and becomes the NEW North American Champion.  Rusev leaves the ring and Bryan remains behind to celebrate. (13 min; 5 min for celebration)

As the ring is cleaned up, we are getting ready for our next match.  Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt vs Kurt Angle with the UHT on the line.  Kurt, the challenger comes out first.   He is then followed by the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt.  Wyatt gets on a mic and tells Kurt that tonight’s match will be a first Blood match.  The bell rings and Kurt immediately hits an Angle Slam.  Bray begins to battle back and Kurt breaks out his cheating ways.  Kurt begins to choke Bray down and nails a belly to belly suplex.  Suddenly, the Caped Crusader shows up on the stage.  A spotlight shines upon him.  Kurt sees him and sees that the Crusader doesn’t appear to be happy with him.  Kurt stops and yells “What do you want from me?  I have to do everything it takes to WIN.  Can’t you understand that?  I HAVE to be the champion.”  This little soliloquy gave Bray just enough time to recover and grab a chair.  Kurt turns around and Bray knocks him out with a chair.  He then bludgeons Kurt with the chair drawing blood.  The ref rings the bell and calls an end to the match.  Bray Wyatt retains his title.  He then leaves the ring.  The Caped Crusader makes his way down to the ring.  He gets in the ring where Angle, bloodied and beaten, tries to get up.  The Caped Crusader leans over and says "You're just in a slump!  You'll be great again!!!"  He then leaves.  Kurt watches him leave and seems to ponder the words just uttered to him as help from the back come out to assist the CSWA Champion. (20 min)

Big Show walks into the office where Master Bull and Hulk Hogan are.  Master Bull says “Tough luck there big guy.”  Show gets in his face.  “Did no one bother to look at this?”  He pulls out the contract showing where a signature should be…#cj’s to be exact…but there is nothing there.  “The idiot forgot to sign this.  He is not the rightful champion…I am.”  GM Hulk Hogan says “Brother, what’s done is done.  Move on.”  Show replies “You want me to MOVE ON?  Really?  Fine.  But now, in your presence, I am signing this contract.  This give ME a title shot for the Hardcore title anytime in the next 60 days.  Crash Holly rules.  I’ll just hang on to this.  You better break the bad news to him.”  Show walks off laughing.  Bull says “Well…I’ll take care of that later.”

It is time for our main event.  The ring crew have just finished securing together the Hell in a Cell for the Goldust vs Stardust match.  Goldust makes his way down and enters the structure.  Stardust makes his way down and walks around the giant structure before entering.  Stardust gets in the ring and the match is finally underway.  One final time, Goldust pleads with his Stardust to “let Cody go” but Stardust just stares blankly back at him.  Goldie says “whatever happens, happens”.  Stardust then attacks Goldust.  Goldust beats his brother down but Stardust battles back.  The two fight in and out of the ring; along the cage wall using it as a weapon but are restricted to the confines of this hellacious structure.  While the two were fighting, Goldust throws Stardust through the door.  Stardust then begins to scale the structure and Goldust follows him.  The two battle on top of the cage.  Stardust kicks Goldust and he almost falls off the top.  He hangs on and climbs down.  Stardust follows him down.  Goldust beats Stardust as he re-enters the cage.  Goldust pleads again to let his brother go.  Stardust hits a bionic elbow and tries for a pin but Goldust kicks out.  Goldust hits Stardust with his own Bionic Elbow and Stardust is down.  Goldie pleads again as Stardust struggles to get to his feet.  Goldust kicks Stardust in the gut and he goes back down.  Goldie pleads again but Stardust ignores him.  Goldie hits the Shattered Dreams but Stardust won’t stay down.  Goldust asks one final time but Stardust shakes his head no.  Goldust then drops Stardust with a DDT.  He sadly makes the cover and the ref counts 1 (Goldust says ‘please stay down’), 2 (‘don’t make this any worse’), and 3.  Goldust gets the win over his brother.  Goldust has his hand raised in victory and he leaves the ring to the cheering from the fans.  (25 min)

And with that, Wrestlemania 2015 comes to an end.  Thank you for joining us on the journey.  We hope you enjoyed the show as much as our performers enjoyed bringing you the action.  Stay tuned as I’m sure there will be fallout.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.05 – Wrestlemania Day 2

WRESTLEMANIA CONTINUES!!! 

Pyro goes off and the fans pop.  Man, if today and tomorrow meet or excel yesterday’s show, I think we may set some Guinness Book records.  GM’s Hulk Hogan and Master Bull make their way to the ring.  Larry Morton is standing there waiting to interview them.  Before it can begin, Rockstar Spud makes his way to the ring.  He takes the mic from Larry.  He goes on to explain why he interfered in Kane’s match.  Spud explains that the title is designed for Cruiserweights, not dumb weights.  He should have been on the PPV, NOT Roman Reigns.  He pauses as Roman Reigns rushes the ring and Spud bails.  Reigns says Spud cost him his match.  Roman says he is challenging Spud for his spot in the X-Division lineup.  GM Hulk Hogan takes the mic and says since both Kurt and Bray retained, the match ‘HWF vs CSWA World Champion to see who gets a shot at the Undisputed Heavyweight Title’ will not take place.  Instead, Roman Reigns gets Rockstar Spud tonight and is challenging Spud for the very title shot he himself was just robbed of.  That match is happening NOW, brother.

The first match of the night is Rockstar Spud vs Roman Reigns for his X-Division title spot.  Why Spud continues to bite off more than he can chew; we’ll never know.  Reigns beat the snot out of Spud 6 minutes longer than he needed to (the match was only 7 min in length).  After destroying Spud, Reigns nails a superman punch and knocks him out.  Reigns makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  X-Division champion Kane makes his way out and mockingly claps for Reigns.  Kane asks why Reigns wants another shot when all he’ll do is lose.  Reigns says that he is challenging Kane AGAIN and NOW.  Kane tries to back out but GM Master Bull comes out and says…”We’ve got time.  Head to the ring.”

Our second match is Kane vs Reigns II with the X-Division title on the line…again.  This time, however was much different with Reigns dominating the champion.  Kane was just not ready for the onslaught Reigns brought to this table.  Reigns immediately began with a superman punch and a 1 count and that is what gave Roman the confidence he needed.  Kane tried for a Chokeslam from Hell but Reigns was able to reverse it and hit some clubbing blows.   Kane manages to connect with a CfH but Reigns is up immediately and tosses Kane out of the ring.  Kane re-enters the ring and as Roman charges him, he gets sent out.  He takes a bit longer to recover.  Roman nails a spear but then gets sent out of the ring again.  He hits the steel steps and barely makes it back in before the 10 count.  Reigns begins to ‘hulk up’ and Kane sends him repeatedly back out of the ring.  Roman is quickly back in each time.  Kane shoves Reigns down but Roman pops up and nails a Spear.  He makes the cover and the ref counts 1…2…3.   Roman Reigns has just defeated Kane to become the NEW X-Division Champion.  He celebrates at ringside with the fans and then leaves.  (16 min)

Larry Morton meets up with 1/3^rd of the 6 man champions the Super Warrior.  SW says he is the future of this sport and he and his teammates will successfully defend their titles and show their dominance.  The camera cuts quickly to the left where someone is hiding in the shadows.  We don’t get to see who it is.

We head back to the ring for our next match which is the Women’s Battle Royal.  All 16 women, including AJ Lee, Paige, Southern Belle and the Undisputed Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel all participated.  Raquel, Paige and Belle all went out relatively early.  AJ wasn’t far behind.  Everyone thought Awesome Kong or Gail Kim were going to win this one but both got eliminated by someone we didn’t expect…Spider Violet.  Spider had eliminated ½ of the Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Madison Rayne) before assisting Gail in eliminating Kong.  It finally came down to Gail and Spider and Ms. Violet was on the top of her game and sent the former Women’s champion flying.  Spider Violet is the winner of the battle royal and she will get her own ‘money in the bank’ briefcase and can cash it in within 60 days for a title match.

Backstage, Clarkus Kentus sees Brock Lesnar walking around and goes to interview him.  Before he can get one word out, Brock glares at Clarkus and our roving reporter high tails it out of there.

Larry Morton is interviewing the Hardcore Champion Big Show.  Show says he’ll deal with #ConanJ all in good time for costing him the battle royal win.  Tomorrow though, it is about him vs Samoa Joe and he promises to show Joe the meaning of hardcore.

It is time for our next title match with Six Man Champions the Warriors taking on Prestige Inc.  Prestige Inc. (King Damian Sandow, Magnus and ‘the Elitist’ Reid Rothchild) with Undisputed Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel all head to the ring first.  Next the champions (Super Warrior, Warrior of Truth and the Scorpion Warrior) head out.  Both teams got an equal sized pop.  SW begins with hitting a warrior powerbomb on Reid and goes for the quick cover but Reid kicks out.  Truth gets tagged in and Reid hits him with a Reid-bottom.  He tags out to Magnus.  After a little singles fighting, all of Prestige hit the ring and triple team Truth.  Magnus remains behind and hits a slingshot elbow drop.  He makes the cover but Truth kicks out at 2.  All of a sudden, #ConanJ runs out with his briefcase and smashes both the Scorpion Warrior and Super Warrior with it. #cj then nails the Super Warrior with a piledriver on the exposed concrete.  #cj yells at him that HE is the future of the sport, not him.  #ConanJ runs off through the crowd with his dented briefcase.  Truth, looking for his teammates and doesn’t see them, turns and eats a kick to the midsection and a DDT from Magnus.  Magnus makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Prestige Inc. have just won the match and are the NEW 6 Man TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.  The new champs celebrate before heading to the back.  Sting and Truth were able to make it back on their own but Super Warrior was taken out on a stretcher. (8 min)

Caped Crusader is wandering around backstage and suddenly, the bat-signal flares up on a wall in front of him.  CC sadly gazes upon it before walking away.

Up next is the Desperados (the Stache and El Chango) taking on the Jones Boys (#ConanJ and #CaseyJ).  The Desperados come to the ring first.  Next, for whatever reason, #CaseyJ comes out next.  Finally, #ConanJ graces us with his presence.  He is accompanied to the right by a “Jones of the Night.”  This one just so happens to be Jon “Bones” Jones from UFC fame.  The fans do NOT like Conan and he flips them off without a care.  You may remember that there were some #ConanJ fans who got tossed for trying to start a CM Punk chant.  Those fans were allowed back but were told that if they became unruly, they would be banned for good.  The match took a while to start as #ConanJ (who was supposed to start this off) refused to get in the ring.  Finally, the ref convinced him and he immediately tagged out to Casey.  This was a pretty evenly fought battle that saw lots of tagging in and out.  At the 12 minute mark, Conan got locked in a camel clutch by El Chango but he didn’t tap.  As soon as El Chango let up, #ConanJ jumped out of the ring and kept walking.  The fans booed him as he deserted his partner.  #ConanJ gets counted out and costs his team their match.  The Desperados win the match; maybe not the way they wanted but a payday is a payday.  (12 ½ min)

The American Wolves say that tonight, Beer Money gets theirs.  They have nowhere to run and they finally get the revenge they’ve been waiting all year for.

We go back to the ring for our next match.   Brock Lesnar power walks to the ring and as soon as he’s there, he starts pacing; waiting for his opponent.  Intercontinental Champion Tyler Breeze makes his way down.  He gets in the ring and Brock goes right at him.  Ever since the 2^nd minute of the match, Brock owned this one.  He hits Tyler with an F-5 3 minutes in but Tyler, to his credit, kicks out and continues.  For the next 11 minutes, there was not one single submission or pin attempt.  Both men just kept fighting.  Brock hits a press & slam for a one count; a back bodydrop for a 2 count; a powerbomb and a power clothesline.  Brock finally makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Brock Lesnar has just defeated Tyler Breeze to become the NEW IC Champion.  Brock wastes no time as he takes his belt and immediately leaves the ring.  (19 min)

The ring crew comes out and begins to attach the steel cage being lowered from the ceiling to the ring.  This takes about 5 minutes.

Our second to last match of the night is The American Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davy Richards) vs. Beer Money (James Storm and Bobby Roode) in a Steel Cage.  The Wolves come down first and actually scale the cage and are bouncing around the ring waiting for Beer Money.  The music hits and out comes Storm and Roode.  They swagger down to the ring but are reluctant to get in the cage.  Richards holds the door open but Storm and Roode just circle the ring.  Finally, GM Hulk Hogan comes out and tells Beer Money to get in the ring and get this match started.  They enter the ring and it is immediately locked.  Both teams went in and beat the holy hell out of each other.  This was nothing short of an old fashioned street fight within the confines of a steel structure.  16 minutes into the match, Bobby Roode gets injured and for the remaining 9 minutes of the match, James Storm carried the entire match.  As the end of the match came, Eddie Edwards begins to climb the cage and stands on the very top of the cage.  He launches himself at Storm who catches him and nails a Pecos power slam.  HOLY SHIT chants echo throughout the arena.  Storm finally is able to crawl over and drape an arm on Edwards.  The ref counts 1…2…3.   Beer Money has just got the pin and now Storm needs to get out of the ring.  A recovering Bobby Roode sandwiches Davy Richards between the ropes and the ring.  Storm crawls out of the ring and Beer Money officially win the match.  Bobby Roode picks up James Storm and helps him to the back.  All of a sudden, Roode TURNS on Storm and hits his with the Roode Awakening.  Roode stands over his former partner and then turns and leaves. (25 min)

The cage is being removed and the ring is being cleaned up before our main event.  (5 min)

It is time for our MAIN EVENT.  First, the challenger the Southern Belle comes out and heads to the ring to a pretty big pop.  She is then followed out by the Undisputed Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel. The two end up in the ring and shake hands before the bell rings.  Before the match could begin, Belle takes the mic and says that the one thing a main event doesn’t need is a countout or DQ finish.  She asks Raquel to make this a NO DQ/CO rules match.  Raquel agrees but says that if she does this, then only one of the belts will be defended tonight and not both.  Raquel says that the Diva’s title will be on the line and Belle accepts.  Belle begins with offering friendship but kicks Raquel in the gut.  Raquel hits a power full nelson and Belle hits a flying body press.  Raquel nails a moonsault (and got ‘THAT WAS AWESOME’ chants) and Belle hits another flying body press. Everything the champ threw at Belle was answered by something equally as powerful.  This went on for a few minutes.  Raquel was finally setting Belle up for the Simply Ravishing but Belle somehow managed to power out of it and hit the Moonshine.  She then quickly rolled Raquel up and the ref counted 1…2….3.  Southern Belle has just won the match and is the NEW DIVA’S CHAMPION.  Belle remains in the ring as balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling. She celebrates her title with the fans as the show comes to an end.  As a side note, Raquel is still the Women’s Champion.  Looks like we’re going back to 2 separate women’s championships.

Stay tuned as there is one more day of Wrestlemania greatness.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 04.04 – Wrestlemania Day 1

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Wrestlemania Pre-Show

Cutting back to the dressing room area, an interview is seen taking place between roving reporter Clarkus Kentus and GM’s Master Bull and Hulk Hogan when suddenly, the camera picks up the Caped Crusader in the background, slowly wandering into the picture.  He is moving slowly and cautiously, but he keeps bumping into things for some reason.  Finally he bumps into Clarkus himself, who scolds the Caped Crusader.  "Hey!  Can't you SEE you are interrupting an interview?!" asks Clarkus.

"I SEE nothing these days, Mr. Kentus... and that is exactly why I have bumped into you...  I no longer SEE the heroics of true champions, like the old Kurt Angle I once knew and respected... I no longer SEE and stand up to all the cheating and underhandedness that happens here in the wrestling world, but rather turn a blind eye to it... For I am blind as a bat with no sense of direction, Mr. Kentus...  And when a superhero like myself loses his moral compass, he ceases to be a Bat-MAN and instead becomes a Bat-BUM... one who might as well just sit around all day in his own guano... But what would YOU know about being a superhero, Mr. Kentus?"

C.C. sighs heavily and shakes his head sadly. He continues.

"At Wrestlemania, I will be participating in the Battle Royal.  In a Battle Royal, you don't need to be able to see in order to win.  You just need to reach over and toss out whoever happens to be standing next to you.  It doesn't matter if that person is good, bad, or ugly. It's all the same to me, for as anyone can see, nothing really matters much to me."

C.C. staggers off, and the camera catches him accidentally bumping into and knocking over a trash can further down the hall, getting a bunch of gunk all over himself.  The Caped Crusader doesn't really seem to care and just continues on...

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WELCOME TO…WRESTLEMANIA!!!  The biggest PPV of the year is finally here and we are ready to rumble.  Pyro goes off for almost 30 seconds and the arena is filled with the smell of fireworks and smoke.   GM’s Master Bull and Hulk Hogan make their way out to the stage.

Master Bull:  Welcome one and all to WRESTLEMANIA…the show of shows…the SuperBowl of super bowls.  Starting tonight and 2 more nights to follow, we will put on a show that will blow the roof off anything that has been done to date.

Hulk Hogan:  You are right Master Bull.  The Hulkster is in the HOUUUUSSSEEE, brother and that means the CSWA is here in force.  We promise that everything you’ve seen to date will pale in comparison. 

Master Bull:  The HWF has every one of its guns in play tonight including the self-proclaimed savior - #ConanJ.  And, ‘brother’, I can promise some very exciting matches with much unexpected turnouts.

Hulk Hogan:  It’s time to get this party started, brother and WHATCHA GONNA DO…when the HWF, CSWA and WRESTLMANIA all run WILD…on YOU?

Before the matches begin, there seems to be a ruckus in the audience.  The camera pans over and it’s those fans who were hanging out with #ConanJ. They were getting rowdy and then tried to start a CM Punk (retired wrestler who lives in Chicago) chant and security did not like it.  The fans end up getting removed from the building.

We start off with our first match which is the men’s Money in the bank Crash Holly Memorial battle royal.  Elimination comes when someone is tossed over the top rope.  The winner of the battle royal will receive a title shot at the hardcore title currently held by the Big Show but with Crash Holly rules.  Basically, that means that the holder of the contract can challenge the champion at any time 24/7.   The participants all made their way to the ring. 

The Caped Crusader sulked his way to the ring and basically sat in the corner.  There are 50 competitors in tonight’s battle royal…wait, what’s this?  Looks like someone is trying to get themselves added in at the last minute.  It’s #ConanJ.  He rushes the ring just as the bell sounds and is immediately kicked out of the ring. 

There were many double eliminations in this match and what was expected to take almost 60 minutes got cut almost in half due to all the weapons that were used.  During the match, Jeff Hardy charged at the Caped Crusader (who was still sulking in the corner) and started pounding on him.  Both men eliminated each other by dragging themselves over the top rope.  CC sulked to the back.

The battle royal came down to the final four:  Hardcore Champion Big Show, Bobby Lashley, Big E Langston and Adam Rose.  Big Show eliminated Lashley and Langston and Rose both eliminated each other.  The winner of the match – the Big Show…but wait…#ConanJ never got eliminated.  He snuck in behind Show and blasted him with a steel chair.  Show fell forward and Conan dumped him over the top rope.  #ConanJ just won the battle royal and he NEVER broke a sweat.  #ConanJ is awarded his “Money in the Bank contract” and he celebrated until a very pissed off Big Show chases him from the ring.  (30 min match time; 5 min of #ConanJ showboating).

Match #2:  Asian Connection vs the A-Team is next.  The A-Team (‘the Man’ Austin Aries, Abyss and Antonio Cesaro) come out first.  Their music is interrupted by the Asian Connection (Kenta, Sanada & Tajiri).  Neither team wasted any time and immediately went after each other as soon as the bell rang.  The Asian connection started off double teaming Abyss for 2 minutes.  After Abyss made the hot tag to Aries who was in the ring for less than 10 seconds and tagged Cesaro in, the A-Team started to take control of the match.  After many double and triple teamings, it finally came down to Aries and Kenta.  Aries catches Kenta coming off the ropes and hits a corkscrew slingshot press and rolled him up for the 1-2-3.  The A-Team are victorious.  Aries, of course, took all the credit.  Finally, after some prodding from the ref, they left the ring.  (22 min) 

In the back, #ConanJ is celebrating with his briefcase.  #CaseyJ is nowhere to be found.  Conan says that it is all about strategy and he is on the road to success.  “Desperados…15 minutes of fame.......15 minutes of fame.....my 15 minutes of fame is 10xs better than your lifetime of LAME.....look here el flamingo, and snatch or whatever you 2 bit kroney fake, non talent, wanna be actors/sports entertainers...i see your little lame ass promos, and homo jello wrestling matches.....you better hope your acting career takes off ....cuz after wrestlemania i, I mean, we #THEJONES' are gonna end your lame ass careers!!!! Ohhhhh and mrs wrestling 2.2, and donnie the drag queen, 100%.....100% hahahahaha you 2 flabboys have not begun to feel the wrath of the future kings of sports entertainment!!!! I hope you 2 drag queens do win....that way when we do whip your asses again the entire world will know we are the future of this lame little organization.....#cj out”  (drops the mic)

We make our way back to the ring for the match for the US title.  First, the challenger Dean Ambrose makes his way down.  He is then followed by the US Champ Christopher Daniels.   It looks like we have a special guest ref for this match.  Hang on…it’s Daniels’ partner Kazarian.  HEY, how did this happen?  Ambrose tried to complain but Kaz rang the bell.  Ambrose locks in a chinlock and Daniels powers out and hits an enzuiguri.  Ambrose tries to shake it off and locks in another chinlock but Daniels powers out again and hits a double jump moonsault.  Kaz makes the (very quick) count and immediately awards the match to Christopher Daniels.  The two celebrate until Ambrose, armed with a chair, chases the two from the ring. (2 min)

We cut to the back where Band members Dirk Devon and the Axe are talking with reporter Larry Morton.  Dirk says “Man, it is time to send these miz-fits back to the land of misfits and be done with them.”  Axe then chimes in “You are so right.  The Band will be victorious and we’ll be back on our way to the tag team titles.”

In another part of backstage, the Miz-fits (the Miz and the Fiend) are being interviewed by Clarkus Kentus. The Miz says that he and the Fiend are ready to finally retire this Band.  The Fiend adds in “And for good measure, I think it’s safe to say that Pick and the Axe will finally cease to be a pain in our ass.” 

Next on the card is Sonic Blade taking on ‘Lukewarm’ Lucas Johnston.  Johnston came out wearing a shirt that said “PC” on the front and “PBM” on the back.  The fans just didn’t care.  However, when Sonic Blade made his way out, he got a really good pop.  Blade charged the ring and Lucas bailed (coward).   The ref in the ring couldn’t get Johnston to stay put so a new ref (I think this one is in the pocket of Lukewarm) comes down and was able to get Johnston in the ring and the match could start.   This new ref did absolutely NOTHING for Johnston except stand back and let Sonic Blade just beat the snot out of him.  If this was a match based on points, it would have been an almost total domination (95-19).  After beating the tar out of Lucas, Sonic hits an Atomic Drop and makes the cover for the 1-2-3.  Sonic Blade gets the win.  He leaves to cheering from the fans and doesn’t even turn around to acknowledge Johnston anymore.  (11 min)

HWF World Champion (and also the Undisputed Heavyweight champion) Bray Wyatt said that tonight, the Undertaker will be buried and that character will be no more. 

X-Division Champion Kane and his opponent Roman Reigns run into each other backstage.  Reigns tells Kane his reign of terror comes to an end tonight.  Kane says that much like his Hollywood alter ego Jacob Goodnight, tonight will be a slaughter fest and Reigns won’t be walking out of here in one piece.  The two had a stare down before the segment ended.

Our next match is up and it is the Miz-Fits (the Miz and the Fiend) taking on the Band (Pick and the Axe).  P&A hit the ring first to disgust of the fans.  Man, Chicago does NOT like these guys.  All four men took turns beating each other down.  This match was pretty even and none would give an inch.  The Fiend was in the ring and Miz did a blind tag much to the confusion of his partner.  For that, he ended up eating the Axe from the Axe.  As he was falling out of the ring, Miz tags the Fiend back in.  Fiend, questioning what Miz was doing, turned around and ate an Axe from the Axe.  Axe drags the Fiend to the middle of the ring, hooks the leg, and gets the 1-2-3.  Dirk Devon and the Axe are victorious.  They leave the ring.  Miz crawls back in the ring and then hits the Skull Crushing Finale on the Fiend before walking away.  The Fiend is helped from the ring.  (17 min)

AJ Styles tells Larry Morton that his time is now.  He’s admired Angle for years and now it’s his time to shine.  AJ promises to win the title at all costs.

Next up is the X-Division Champion Kane vs Roman Reigns.   Kane tried to light Reigns up but the challenger stood toe to toe with the champ for about 8 minutes.  After that, Kane got in a few lucky shots and the tide turned.  All of a sudden, Rockstar Spud ran down to the ring and attacked Kane resulting in a DQ.  Reigns was PISSED.  Reigns hits Spud with a Superman punch and then hits Kane with a spear.  Reigns raises his arms but he is not the winner tonight.  (10 ½ min)

The Undertaker says that tonight Bray will lose the HWF title; tomorrow, he defeats the CSWA champion and then will go on and take the Undisputed Title.  Every one of his opponents will be resting in peace.

The first of our two main events is up now.  First, the challenger AJ Styles makes his way down to the ring.  Angle’s music hits and the CSWA World Champ comes down to the ring.   GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that this match must end in a pinfall or submission.  He will not allow this match to have a countout or DQ decision.  This had to be the hardest fought match these two have had in a very long time.  For 12 minutes, AJ and Kurt were even – no one could get the upper hand.  Kurt started to get agitated and started to cheat.  The camera just happens to pan up to the rafters and there, perched, is the Caped Crusader; watching this from his roost.  Kurt looks up and sees CC up there and hesitates.  In a moment of desperation, AJ hits the Styles Clash but is slow to make the cover.  Finally, as AJ drapes his arm over the champ, the ref counts 1 but then Kurt kicks out.  AJ can’t believe it.  Exhausted, as AJ gets to his feet, Kurt stands on AJ’s throat, eye rakes him and then nails an Angle Slam.  He hooks the tights and the ref counts 1-2-3.  Kurt Angle has successfully defended his title.  Kurt looks back up and the Crusader just looks disappointed.  Kurt’s moment of celebration becomes more somber.  Kurt finally leaves the ring.  (17 min)

A dump truck back in and dumps a ton of dirt outside the ring.  Bray comes out and watches all this.  His moment of solitude is interrupted when Master Bull comes out.  Bull says that this could be Bray’s moment to shine or fail.  He says he hopes Bray is ready for the world of destruction the Undertaker is getting ready to unload on him.   Bray and Bull both leave letting the set get finalized.

It is time for our main event.  The Undertaker challenges HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt to a Buried Alive match for the HWF World Title.  Undertaker makes his way out first; his music playing and his eerie blue light shining on him following him to the ring.   He finally arrives and raises his arms and the lights come on.   Weird music plays and the champion comes out.  He makes his way to the ring without taking his eyes off of the Undertaker.  He gets in the ring and our match begins.  Bray immediately throws Undertaker out of the ring and then knocks out the ref.  Bray hits a scoop slam and Undertaker bashes him with the urn.  Bray battles back and bashes Taker in the head with a shovel drawing blood.  Undertaker chokes Bray and Bray hits Sister Abigail.  UT knocks the ref out and Bray hits a gravedigger DDT.  Bray hits a forearm smash and UT tries to stomp Bray into the grave with no success.  Bray then hits UT with a headstone knocking UT almost out.  UT connects with a weak clothesline but Bray nails Sister Abigail and then hits a burial backdrop.  Bray makes the cover and the ref counts 1…2…3.  Bray then drags UT over to the burial site and then dumps him in.  He cackles as he picks up the shovel and starts shoveling dirt on top of UT.  The bell rings and this one has come to a close with Bray Wyatt burying the Undertaker alive.  Bray Wyatt has defeated Undertaker in a very hellacious match.   

What a night.  Come back tomorrow as we get into Day 2 of our Wrestlemania weekend.  Stay Tuned.