**********************
Wrestlemania
Pre-Show
Cutting
back to the dressing room area, an interview is seen taking place between
roving reporter Clarkus Kentus and GM’s Master Bull and Hulk Hogan when
suddenly, the camera picks up the Caped Crusader in the background, slowly
wandering into the picture. He is moving
slowly and cautiously, but he keeps bumping into things for some reason. Finally he bumps into Clarkus himself, who
scolds the Caped Crusader.
"Hey! Can't you SEE you are
interrupting an interview?!" asks Clarkus.
"I
SEE nothing these days, Mr. Kentus... and that is exactly why I have bumped
into you... I no longer SEE the heroics
of true champions, like the old Kurt Angle I once knew and respected... I no
longer SEE and stand up to all the cheating and underhandedness that happens
here in the wrestling world, but rather turn a blind eye to it... For I am
blind as a bat with no sense of direction, Mr. Kentus... And when a superhero like myself loses his
moral compass, he ceases to be a Bat-MAN and instead becomes a Bat-BUM... one
who might as well just sit around all day in his own guano... But what would
YOU know about being a superhero, Mr. Kentus?"
C.C.
sighs heavily and shakes his head sadly. He continues.
"At
Wrestlemania, I will be participating in the Battle Royal. In a Battle Royal, you don't need to be able
to see in order to win. You just need to
reach over and toss out whoever happens to be standing next to you. It doesn't matter if that person is good,
bad, or ugly. It's all the same to me, for as anyone can see, nothing really
matters much to me."
C.C.
staggers off, and the camera catches him accidentally bumping into and knocking
over a trash can further down the hall, getting a bunch of gunk all over
himself. The Caped Crusader doesn't
really seem to care and just continues on...
************************
WELCOME
TO…WRESTLEMANIA!!! The biggest PPV of
the year is finally here and we are ready to rumble. Pyro goes off for almost 30 seconds and the
arena is filled with the smell of fireworks and smoke. GM’s Master Bull and Hulk Hogan make their
way out to the stage.
Master
Bull: Welcome one and all to
WRESTLEMANIA…the show of shows…the SuperBowl of super bowls. Starting tonight and 2 more nights to follow,
we will put on a show that will blow the roof off anything that has been done
to date.
Hulk
Hogan: You are right Master Bull. The Hulkster is in the HOUUUUSSSEEE, brother
and that means the CSWA is here in force.
We promise that everything you’ve seen to date will pale in
comparison.
Master
Bull: The HWF has every one of its guns
in play tonight including the self-proclaimed savior - #ConanJ. And, ‘brother’, I can promise some very
exciting matches with much unexpected turnouts.
Hulk
Hogan: It’s time to get this party
started, brother and WHATCHA GONNA DO…when the HWF, CSWA and WRESTLMANIA all
run WILD…on YOU?
Before
the matches begin, there seems to be a ruckus in the audience. The camera pans over and it’s those fans who
were hanging out with #ConanJ. They were getting rowdy and then tried to start a
CM Punk (retired wrestler who lives in Chicago) chant and security did not like
it. The fans end up getting removed from
the building.
We
start off with our first match which is the men’s Money in the bank Crash Holly
Memorial battle royal. Elimination comes
when someone is tossed over the top rope.
The winner of the battle royal will receive a title shot at the hardcore
title currently held by the Big Show but with Crash Holly rules. Basically, that means that the holder of the
contract can challenge the champion at any time 24/7. The participants all made their way to the
ring.
The
Caped Crusader sulked his way to the ring and basically sat in the corner. There are 50 competitors in tonight’s battle
royal…wait, what’s this? Looks like
someone is trying to get themselves added in at the last minute. It’s #ConanJ.
He rushes the ring just as the bell sounds and is immediately kicked out
of the ring.
There
were many double eliminations in this match and what was expected to take
almost 60 minutes got cut almost in half due to all the weapons that were used. During the match, Jeff Hardy charged at the
Caped Crusader (who was still sulking in the corner) and started pounding on
him. Both men eliminated each other by
dragging themselves over the top rope.
CC sulked to the back.
The
battle royal came down to the final four: Hardcore Champion Big Show, Bobby Lashley, Big
E Langston and Adam Rose. Big Show
eliminated Lashley and Langston and Rose both eliminated each other. The winner of the match – the Big Show…but
wait…#ConanJ never got eliminated. He
snuck in behind Show and blasted him with a steel chair. Show fell forward and Conan dumped him over
the top rope. #ConanJ just won the
battle royal and he NEVER broke a sweat.
#ConanJ is awarded his “Money in the Bank contract” and he celebrated
until a very pissed off Big Show chases him from the ring. (30 min match time; 5 min of #ConanJ
showboating).
Match
#2: Asian Connection vs the A-Team is
next. The A-Team (‘the Man’ Austin
Aries, Abyss and Antonio Cesaro) come out first. Their music is interrupted by the Asian
Connection (Kenta, Sanada & Tajiri).
Neither team wasted any time and immediately went after each other as
soon as the bell rang. The Asian
connection started off double teaming Abyss for 2 minutes. After Abyss made the hot tag to Aries who was
in the ring for less than 10 seconds and tagged Cesaro in, the A-Team started
to take control of the match. After many
double and triple teamings, it finally came down to Aries and Kenta. Aries catches Kenta coming off the ropes and
hits a corkscrew slingshot press and rolled him up for the 1-2-3. The A-Team are victorious. Aries, of course, took all the credit. Finally, after some prodding from the ref,
they left the ring. (22 min)
In
the back, #ConanJ is celebrating with his briefcase. #CaseyJ is nowhere to be found. Conan says that it is all about strategy and
he is on the road to success. “Desperados…15
minutes of fame.......15 minutes of fame.....my 15 minutes of fame is 10xs
better than your lifetime of LAME.....look here el flamingo, and snatch or
whatever you 2 bit kroney fake, non talent, wanna be actors/sports
entertainers...i see your little lame ass promos, and homo jello wrestling
matches.....you better hope your acting career takes off ....cuz after
wrestlemania i, I mean, we #THEJONES' are gonna end your lame ass careers!!!!
Ohhhhh and mrs wrestling 2.2, and donnie the drag queen, 100%.....100%
hahahahaha you 2 flabboys have not begun to feel the wrath of the future kings
of sports entertainment!!!! I hope you 2 drag queens do win....that way when we
do whip your asses again the entire world will know we are the future of this
lame little organization.....#cj out” (drops
the mic)
We
make our way back to the ring for the match for the US title. First, the challenger Dean Ambrose makes his
way down. He is then followed by the US
Champ Christopher Daniels. It looks like we have a special guest ref for
this match. Hang on…it’s Daniels’
partner Kazarian. HEY, how did this
happen? Ambrose tried to complain but
Kaz rang the bell. Ambrose locks in a
chinlock and Daniels powers out and hits an enzuiguri. Ambrose tries to shake it off and locks in
another chinlock but Daniels powers out again and hits a double jump
moonsault. Kaz makes the (very quick)
count and immediately awards the match to Christopher Daniels. The two celebrate until Ambrose, armed with a
chair, chases the two from the ring. (2 min)
We
cut to the back where Band members Dirk Devon and the Axe are talking with
reporter Larry Morton. Dirk says “Man,
it is time to send these miz-fits back to the land of misfits and be done with
them.” Axe then chimes in “You are so
right. The Band will be victorious and
we’ll be back on our way to the tag team titles.”
In
another part of backstage, the Miz-fits (the Miz and the Fiend) are being
interviewed by Clarkus Kentus. The Miz says that he and the Fiend are ready to
finally retire this Band. The Fiend adds
in “And for good measure, I think it’s safe to say that Pick and the Axe will
finally cease to be a pain in our ass.”
Next
on the card is Sonic Blade taking on ‘Lukewarm’ Lucas Johnston. Johnston came out wearing a shirt that said
“PC” on the front and “PBM” on the back.
The fans just didn’t care.
However, when Sonic Blade made his way out, he got a really good
pop. Blade charged the ring and Lucas bailed
(coward). The ref in the ring couldn’t
get Johnston to stay put so a new ref (I think this one is in the pocket of
Lukewarm) comes down and was able to get Johnston in the ring and the match
could start. This new ref did absolutely NOTHING for
Johnston except stand back and let Sonic Blade just beat the snot out of
him. If this was a match based on
points, it would have been an almost total domination (95-19). After beating the tar out of Lucas, Sonic
hits an Atomic Drop and makes the cover for the 1-2-3. Sonic Blade gets the win. He leaves to cheering from the fans and
doesn’t even turn around to acknowledge Johnston anymore. (11 min)
HWF
World Champion (and also the Undisputed Heavyweight champion) Bray Wyatt said
that tonight, the Undertaker will be buried and that character will be no
more.
X-Division
Champion Kane and his opponent Roman Reigns run into each other backstage. Reigns tells Kane his reign of terror comes
to an end tonight. Kane says that much
like his Hollywood alter ego Jacob Goodnight, tonight will be a slaughter fest
and Reigns won’t be walking out of here in one piece. The two had a stare down before the segment
ended.
Our
next match is up and it is the Miz-Fits (the Miz and the Fiend) taking on the
Band (Pick and the Axe). P&A hit the
ring first to disgust of the fans. Man,
Chicago does NOT like these guys. All
four men took turns beating each other down.
This match was pretty even and none would give an inch. The Fiend was in the ring and Miz did a blind
tag much to the confusion of his partner.
For that, he ended up eating the Axe from the Axe. As he was falling out of the ring, Miz tags
the Fiend back in. Fiend, questioning
what Miz was doing, turned around and ate an Axe from the Axe. Axe drags the Fiend to the middle of the
ring, hooks the leg, and gets the 1-2-3.
Dirk Devon and the Axe are victorious.
They leave the ring. Miz crawls
back in the ring and then hits the Skull Crushing Finale on the Fiend before
walking away. The Fiend is helped from
the ring. (17 min)
AJ
Styles tells Larry Morton that his time is now.
He’s admired Angle for years and now it’s his time to shine. AJ promises to win the title at all costs.
Next
up is the X-Division Champion Kane vs Roman Reigns. Kane tried to light Reigns up but the
challenger stood toe to toe with the champ for about 8 minutes. After that, Kane got in a few lucky shots and
the tide turned. All of a sudden,
Rockstar Spud ran down to the ring and attacked Kane resulting in a DQ. Reigns was PISSED. Reigns hits Spud with a Superman punch and
then hits Kane with a spear. Reigns
raises his arms but he is not the winner tonight. (10 ½ min)
The
Undertaker says that tonight Bray will lose the HWF title; tomorrow, he defeats
the CSWA champion and then will go on and take the Undisputed Title. Every one of his opponents will be resting in
peace.
The
first of our two main events is up now.
First, the challenger AJ Styles makes his way down to the ring. Angle’s music hits and the CSWA World Champ
comes down to the ring. GM Hulk Hogan
comes out and says that this match must end in a pinfall or submission. He will not allow this match to have a
countout or DQ decision. This had to be
the hardest fought match these two have had in a very long time. For 12 minutes, AJ and Kurt were even – no
one could get the upper hand. Kurt
started to get agitated and started to cheat.
The camera just happens to pan up to the rafters and there, perched, is
the Caped Crusader; watching this from his roost. Kurt looks up and sees CC up there and
hesitates. In a moment of desperation, AJ
hits the Styles Clash but is slow to make the cover. Finally, as AJ drapes his arm over the champ,
the ref counts 1 but then Kurt kicks out.
AJ can’t believe it. Exhausted,
as AJ gets to his feet, Kurt stands on AJ’s throat, eye rakes him and then nails
an Angle Slam. He hooks the tights and
the ref counts 1-2-3. Kurt Angle has
successfully defended his title. Kurt
looks back up and the Crusader just looks disappointed. Kurt’s moment of celebration becomes more
somber. Kurt finally leaves the
ring. (17 min)
A
dump truck back in and dumps a ton of dirt outside the ring. Bray comes out and watches all this. His moment of solitude is interrupted when
Master Bull comes out. Bull says that
this could be Bray’s moment to shine or fail.
He says he hopes Bray is ready for the world of destruction the
Undertaker is getting ready to unload on him.
Bray and Bull both leave letting the set get finalized.
It
is time for our main event. The
Undertaker challenges HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt to a Buried Alive match for
the HWF World Title. Undertaker makes
his way out first; his music playing and his eerie blue light shining on him
following him to the ring. He finally
arrives and raises his arms and the lights come on. Weird music plays and the champion comes
out. He makes his way to the ring
without taking his eyes off of the Undertaker.
He gets in the ring and our match begins. Bray immediately throws Undertaker out of the
ring and then knocks out the ref. Bray
hits a scoop slam and Undertaker bashes him with the urn. Bray battles back and bashes Taker in the
head with a shovel drawing blood.
Undertaker chokes Bray and Bray hits Sister Abigail. UT knocks the ref out and Bray hits a
gravedigger DDT. Bray hits a forearm
smash and UT tries to stomp Bray into the grave with no success. Bray then hits UT with a headstone knocking
UT almost out. UT connects with a weak
clothesline but Bray nails Sister Abigail and then hits a burial backdrop. Bray makes the cover and the ref counts
1…2…3. Bray then drags UT over to the
burial site and then dumps him in. He
cackles as he picks up the shovel and starts shoveling dirt on top of UT. The bell rings and this one has come to a
close with Bray Wyatt burying the Undertaker alive. Bray Wyatt has defeated Undertaker in a very
hellacious match.
What
a night. Come back tomorrow as we get
into Day 2 of our Wrestlemania weekend.
Stay Tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment