HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.08 – It’s Payback time

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Tonight, live from Portland, OR is Payback.  Our super show begins with GM’s Max McGillicutty and Hulk Hogan coming out to address the crowd.  The crowd is hot tonight.  Hogan reiterates that a new CSWA World Champion will be crowned tonight.  It will either be Samoa Joe or Big Show.  Both men actually had good showings in their respective battle royals.  Max says tonight’s main event – Sting vs Brock Lesnar for the Intercontinental title, since it is following Angle /Jarrett in a cage, will also take place in that same steel structure. 

To kick off the show, Bray Wyatt cuts a promo.  "The nature of man has always fascinated me. I mean look at y'all, running around like a bunch of blind mice chasing a piece of cheese. But riddle me this: what shall happen when the snake enters the maze? I'll play your childish little game for now, boys, but let it be known I am the king. I am the designer of chaos. I decide who does what and where they do it. I deal the cards. The world spins on axis above my jagged teeth and when I clamp down, believe me, the world will shake. Tonight, at Payback, I will put an end to this child-like charade. Vader, once all is said and done, I’ll have accomplished exactly what I said I would do and close the ‘box’ of this pointless feud.  The era of Wyatt continues. Run."

Our first match on the card is The Desperados vs the Steel Curtain in a non-title match.  Originally, this was supposed to be a title match but both GM’s said that they determine who gets a title shot and when.  The Desperados (El Chango and the Stache) have since agreed that if the Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) can defeat them, they will be granted a title shot.  The Steel Curtain had a really great showing and took the match in dominating fashion to the champs.  However, the Ascension made their presence known and that threw the champs off even more.   8 minutes in and the ref takes a bump.  The Steel Curtain get dumped out of the ring and the Ascension beat down Stache and El Chango dropping them both with the Fall of Man.  They leave as the ref recovers.  Buzz Steel is back in the ring (he didn’t see the beatdown) and hits the Stache with the Buzzkill.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  The Steel Curtain win the match and will be in line for a future title shot.  The Ascension are on the ramp laughing at the champs.  They then make their way to the back.

In the back, the Ascension with MJ and Kane say they are ready for their 6 man tag team title shot.  Tonight, they will destroy Prestige Inc and walk out with the titles.

The next match on the card is Big Van Vader vs Bray Wyatt (the title is not on the line).  Vader comes out first.  Bray then follows but is dragging a box (like a crude casket) behind him.   Vader says he’s going to bury Bray in that box but Bray immediately attacks him as the match begins.  This one didn’t go as long as we expected but we were not surprised when Intercontinental Champion Brock Lesnar came out and stood on the ramp.  Bray threw Vader out of the ring and then stood in the ring motioning to Brock to “bring it”.  Vader slides back in the ring and splashes Bray in the corner.  He then climbs the turnbuckles (he could only get to the second one) and hits a Vadersault.  Vader makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Vader is the winner.  Brock makes his way to the ring as Vader is leaving.  Brock picks up Bray and nails an F-5.  He then drags Bray out of the ring and puts him in that very box Bray brought out earlier.  He then dragged it up the ramp and then pushed it off the stage to the floor below.  The box explodes on impact with the floor and Bray is down and out.  Lesnar glares at the camera and then leaves.  (8 min for the match; 15 for the segment.)

We cut to the back where the Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone is cutting a promo telling #CJ to keep is #certifiedjabroni ass out of his business or he will light him up (but not in the 4:20 sense).

It is time for the 6 Man titles to be defended.  The champs – The Ascension w/ MJ and Kane come out first.  Konnor mocks Prestige Inc calling them closet champs.  Viktor takes the mic and says that it will be a “RRRRUSH” when they becomes the new champs.  Kane says they are here to do one thing and that is win.  The champs (King Damian Sandow, Magnus and Reid Rothchild) head to the ring.  The Ascension immediately attack but are stopped by GM Max McGillicutty.  Max says that this match will be a best of 3 falls, 60 minute time limit match.  Kane and the Ascension go on a tear and annihilate Prestige.  After being beat down for about 13 minutes, Kane shoves Reid who go flying into the steel post busting him open.  Kane rolls him up for the first fall.  The annihilation continued with Prestige Inc. barely putting up a fight.  This time, Kane was beating the tar out of King Damian and after standing on his throat, quickly tagged out to Konnor who, along with Viktor, hit Sandow with the Fall of Man.  They then dispatch Reid and Magnus.  Quick tag back to Kane who hits a chokeslam and makes the cover for the 1-2-3.  (11 min).  The Ascension and Kane are the NEW 6 Man tag team champions.  Viktor gets on the mic and says they are unstoppable and that no team on earth can beat them.  MJ says that no A-team, no Enforcers, no one can beat this team.  They then head to the back.

We cut to the back where Kurt Angle is cutting a promo.  He says that Jeff Jarrett is a no good, wife-stealing (in real life, Jarrett is married to Kurt’s ex) sonofabitch.  Jarrett walks over and asks if he’s taken a page out of Donald Trump’s playbook (one of name calling) and gone back to the 5^th grade.  Jarrett says that he’s tired of Angle being around and says tonight, he puts the Olympic hero away for good.

We go back to the ring for our next match.  Madame Jade, accompanied by Jupiter Jane, heads to the ring.  Jane goes over and sits at commentary.  The Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella comes out.  She says that her title is not on the line tonight but then GM Hulk Hogan comes out to correct her.  He says Taylor has been hiding behind her title and as a champion, needs to step up.  Jade, looks ecstatic.   This one practically went the distance.  28 ½ minutes in, Taylor is being beaten up by Madame Jade.  Just when it appears Jade is going to go for the pin, Taylor rolls out of the ring and walks to the back resulting in a countout.  Madame Jade gets the win but the title does not change hands on a Countout.  Jade is pissed off but she knows she can beat Taylor.  She and Jupiter Jane leave.  

Brock is walking around backstage and says tonight is the end of Sting.  He then walked away.

We head back to the ring for our next title match.  Hardcore champion Magnum Kone is defending his title against Prince Devitt.  Kone  - the King of Cones – owned this match which had lights out rules (also no DQ).  The ref basically stood back while the two fought it out.  Magnum hurt Devitt early on after splashing him in the corner.  After a few minutes of just beating him down, Magnum then hits Devitt with the Ice Cream Sandwich and rolled him up for the 1-2-3.  (15 min)  Magnum gave out some ice cream to the kids at ringside (and one to Prince Devitt) and then headed to the back.

Roving reporter Larry Morton runs down to the ring.  “#CJ…#CJ…how about that interview?  We’ve got the ring.”

Music hits and out comes #CJ…wait, that’s not #CJ…it’s the ROCK dressed as #CJ.  He struts down to the ring all gangsta like (like a really bad Flava Flav – grill and all).  He gets in the ring with Larry.

Morton:  Um, you’re not #CJ.

Rock:  No, jabroni, er I mean, Mr. Morton.  I am #CJock.  I am the gangsta’s gangsta.  The People’s Gangsta, if you willllllll.

Morton:  Well, since you’re here, what do you have for us Rock, I mean, #CJock?

#CJock:  I’m here to call out that no good Rock.  He hurt my feelings.  You see, I’m a pretty sensitive guy and he, well, he just irks me to no end.  The Rock, the baddest man in Hollywood, the People’s Champion, well, I’m afraid of him.  I don’t want no piece of him, man.  That is why I’ve been absent from TV.  You see, I can’t handle pressure.  I lost my title to an Ice Cream Man (no offense Magnum Kone).   I am not worthy of even being in the HWF and CSWA and therefore I have decided to tuck my tail between my legs and run away. 

Morton:  So are you saying you’re quitting?

#CJock:  I am a quitter but I have to say, I’m going to man up.  I’m going to challenge the Rock to a match at the Clash of the Champions PPV in August.

Morton:  But that PPV is only for people with a title.  You don’t have one.

#CJock:  Ah but I do have something to put on the line against the Rock more valuable than a title. I have what’s left of my pitiful career.  Rock the Almighty, I challenge you (starts shaking a bit) to a match at the PPV.  If you have the guts, you’ll accept.

Morton:  There you have it folks.  #CJ has challenged the Rock to a match at the PPV.  Thank you #CJock for your time.

#CJock:  No, thank you Larry.  Now, I better skedaddle before Rock comes out here and kicks my ass.

#CJock and Larry Morton leave the ring.  The fans were laughing hysterically throughout the entire segment.

We cut back to the interview area where Big Show and Samoa Joe as participating in a joint interview.  Joe says that he will do what it takes to win even if that means bringing in the Enforcers.  Show says to make this no DQ so he can fight all 3 and knock each and every one of them out.  The two stare intently at each other as the segment ends and both men head to the ring.

It is time for the match to crown a new CSWA World Champion.  The first battle royal winner Big Show comes out first and is followed by Samoa Joe.  When the bell rang, it was all business in the ring. Both men fought the closest fight this writer has ever seen.  Big Show would blast Joe with punches and chokeslams but Joe would counter with rear naked chokeholds and DDT’s.  At one point (not at the invitation of Joe), the Enforcers (Ryback and Mark Henry) come out.  As Ryback was trying to interfere (this was determined to be a no DQ match), Kevin Owens runs out and takes Ryback out.  Mark Henry eats a big punch from Big Show taking him out.  Owens gets in the ring and goes after Joe who blasts him and he crashes into Big Show.  Show hurls Owens over the top rope.  Joe kicks Show in the gut and plants him with a DDT.  He hooks the leg and with feet on the ropes, gets the count 1…2…KICKOUT!  Joe can’t believe it.  Show struggles to his feet and Joe hits him with a second DDT.  He then locks in the rear naked choke trying to drain any strength left in the Big Show.  He makes the cover but Show kicks out again.  Joe then drops him with a Tornado DDT and he makes the cover again.  The ref counts 1…2…3.  Samoa Joe gets the win in 17 minutes and becomes the NEW CSWA World Champ.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and presents Joe with the World title.  Joe begins to celebrate in the ring but then leaves somewhat unexpectedly. 

Sting is interviewed in the back and says that he’s ready for anything Brock can conjure up and he will win.  Aaooowwwwwww (scream)

The crew are setting up the steel cage.  Kurt Angle comes out and sits at commentary talking with the announcers.  As soon as it’s completed, he climbs up the cage and at the top, he calls out Jeff Jarrett.   Jarrett comes down and enters the cage through the door.  Angle climbs down and the match immediately begins.  Jarrett immediately grabbed a guitar that was sitting at ringside and BLASTED Kurt with it busting him open in the early seconds of the match.  He goes for the pin but Kurt kicks out at 2.  JJ stuns Angle with chops.  He goes for a second guitar but Kurt hits the Angle Slam for a 2 count.  JJ grinds Angle’s face in the cage and then struts across the ring.  Kurt grabs him and hits another Angle Slam.   JJ kicks out at 1.  The two continue to slug it out for 15 minutes.  A masked wrestler came down and threw a chain in to JJ.  Kurt yanked it away and threw it out of the ring.  After Angle got crotched on the top rope, JJ pulled out some brass knuckles.  He went to hit Kurt who deflected the blow that sent the brass knucks flying.  Kurt hits a DDT and JJ actually impacted the very weapon he tried to use earlier.  Kurt makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 and then starts to climb the cage.  JJ shakes it off and follows Kurt.  The two battle at the top of the cage and Kurt headbutts JJ who falls back into the ring.  Kurt goes over the top and drops to the floor winning the match.  Kurt wins and JJ ends up leaving disappointed. 

As Kurt was getting ready to leave, the Bat signal shines on the floor in front of him and the Caped Crusader repels down.  CC says that he’s proud Kurt did not resort to illegal tactics but used his Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence to win.  Kurt says he now understands what CC was trying to do for him and shakes his hand in thanks.  The two then part – Kurt heading up the ramp and is cheered by the fans and CC repelling back up to the rafters.   (20 min for the match; 25 for the whole segment).

In the back, #CJ just got done watching the Rock make a mockery of him (and the fans LOVED it) and he mutters to himself “pebble wants a piece of me…he’ll get more than he can handle.”

It is time for the main event.  Brock Lesnar is taking on Sting for the Intercontinental title in a steel cage.   GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that this will be one fall…to the end.  He is also removing the time limit so there is no cap on this one.  This one was nothing short of a sloberknocker.  Both men put their hearts, souls, blood, sweat and tears (maybe not from the Beast Incarnate).  Ref’s had to change 3 times in this match as one would get knocked out and needed a replacement.  Brock and Sting fought a war over this title and potentially another shot at the World title.  The cage was used by both as a nasty weapon and by the 15^th minute in the match, both were wearing crimson masks.  At the 23^rd minute, Brock nails an F-5 but Sting somehow kicked out.  2 minutes later, Sting hits Brock with a Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) and score the 1-2-3 but he has to get out of the ring.  He crawls to the cage wall and starts to slowly make his way up. Brock recovers and has just enough in the tank to stop him.  Brock pulls him off the cage wall and nails a powerbomb.  Sting finds the chain that was brought out during the Kurt/JJ match and blasted Brock with it.  He then locked Brock in an abdominal stretch but Brock powered out and nailed a press and slam.  Brock makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Now it’s his turn to get out.  He begins to scale the cage wall as Sting makes for the door.  He sees Sting getting ready to drop out of the ring when he swings to another cage wall and kicks the door of the cage right into Sting’s face.  Sting falls back in the ring and Brock drops to the floor.  Brock Lesnar retains his title in an outstanding 5 star match.  Brock makes his way to the back and suits come out and help Sting.  Both men got a standing ovation from the fans.  (27 min)

Just as the show is getting ready to end, Hogan comes back out and re-introduces the new CSWA World Champion Samoa Joe.  Hogan and Joe goes to the ring to celebrate until… New music hits…AUSTIN ARIES walks out.  ARIES IS BACK!!!  HOLY CRAP.  Aries stares at Hogan and Joe as Hulk looks on with his eyes open wide in surprise as the show comes to an end.

Thanks for reading.  There sure is to be fallout at the next show so stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.07

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue, except for the main event and the battle royal, will all be about tag team action.  Both tag team and 6-man tag action will occupy the card.

Tonight’s first match is The Uso’s vs Dolph Ziggler & Sami Zayn.  Ziggler had been feeling empty after his feud with John Cena came to an end and felt the need to get in on tag team action.  He found Sami Zayn a willing and ready to go tag team partner.  The match is a relatively short match and the new singles teammates who now find themselves as partners did really well against the established team of the Uso’s.  At the 9 minute mark, Ziggler throws Jimmy Uso out of the ring and then Sami Zayn nails a suicide dive on him from the top rope taking Jimmy out.  Jimmy is unable to get up and ends up getting counted out.  Ziggler & Zayn have their first win as a team.  (9 ½ min)

Zack Ryder doesn’t feel the HWF is giving him a fair shake and wants to be transferred to the CSWA.   He approaches GM’s Max McGillicutty and Hulk Hogan and after a very brief discussion, agree to the move.

Next on the card is the A-Team (Antonio Cesaro, Adrian Neville and Alberto el Patron) vs the Enforcers (Ryback, Samoa Joe & Mark Henry) in a no-DQ match.   Almost immediately, the Shield runs out and begins brawling with the Enforcers.  Finally, the ref regains control and sends the Shield to the back.  However, Randy Orton walks down while action is resuming in the ring.  He strokes his chin, points to the Enforcers and says “eenie, meenie, miney mo” and then jumps in the ring just as Ryback is going for a spear on Alberto el Patron and drops him with an RKO.  The ref begins to reprimand him but Orton just throws his hands in the air like “what did I do?” and then turns around to see Alberto hitting Ryback with an arm drag hot shot.  He makes the cover and gets the win.  The A-Team are victorious.  (8 min)

Taylor Bella is in the back with her sisters Nikki and Brie and says that she feels sorry for Jupiter Jane and actually pities her. Since Jane wants to wait till the PPV, Taylor says she will take it all out on Jane’s tag team partner Madame Jade at Payback.  Taylor says it will be a blood bath and then stares creepily at the camera.

Our next match is Bo Dallas & Frankie Kazarian (dubbed by the fans as Team WTF) vs Wade Barrett and Jack Swagger.  Before the match begins, a clip is shown of Bo scratching Wade’s Bugatti Veyron and that led up to this match.  Barrett says Frankie, because of his association, will pay the price also.  For the first 8 minutes, Wade and Swagger took turns beating down both Frankie and Bo.  After that though, they had enough and took the match to their opponents with constant and quick double teams.  As the match went on, Bo and Frankie looked better and better.  As the match was nearing the end, Wade nailed Frankie with a backbreaker but Frankie hit him with a hurricanrana that sent him crashing into Jack Swagger who was trying to enter the ring.  Swagger fell out of the ring and Wade looked pissed off.  Frankie makes the hot tag to Bo who nails a bulldog headlock on Wade and rolls him up for the 1-2-3.  Bo and Frankie are victorious.  They leave the ring celebrating while a pissed off Wade tries to recover in the ring.  After the match, Swagger asked Wade what he thought he was doing and shoving ensued.  Wade kicks Swagger in the gut and then hits him with a Brainbuster elbow.  He leaves his “partner” in the ring to recover.

Back in the relaxation lounge, The Desperados meet up with the Steel Curtain and say they are thankful for the assistance the other night and ask if Buzz and Starbuck want a title match at the Payback.  The Steel Curtain accept and all shake hands.

ECIII & Rockstar Spud vs the Band is up next.  The Band (Dirk Devon and the Axe) came out first and were booed pretty heavily.  ECIII and Spud came out next and they weren’t quite as bad.  It took a few minutes for the Band to find their rhythm (pun intended) and took the match to ECIII and Spud.  It was a lot closer than one would think and then Axe hurled Spud out of the ring right into the arms of his partner Dirk who then dropped Spud with the Pearl Drum Drop.  Spud was not able to make it back in the ring and got counted out.  The Band get a win via countout. 

Sting cuts a promo saying that the Beast Incarnate will be slain the Scorpion Warrior walks out with the IC title around his waist.  Aaawwwoooooooooo (Sting’s scream).

We head back to the ring for our next match with Solomon Crowe & Kalisto vs the Attitude Adjustment (Abyss & Adam Rose).  What was funny about this match is when Abyss was in the ring, AA did well.  When Rose got in, things went to shit.  Crowe and Kalisto on the other hand looked great all along.  As the match neared the end, Abyss was calling for a Blackhole slam when Rose blind tagged himself in.  Abyss looked pissed.  Rose says “I’ve got this” and then turns around and gets hit by the Del Sol Driver from Kalisto.  Abyss doesn’t even try for a save.  Kalisto gets the 1-2-3 and his team secures the win.  After the match, Abyss goes in and picks up Rose, puts him over his shoulder and then leaves.

Jupiter Jane, Madame Jade and Summer Rae say that they are ready for the Bellas and will send them back to their precious little TV show embarrassed.

We go back to the ring for our next match with The Shield (Ambrose, Reigns & Rollins) vs the Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) w/ Kane for a shot at the 6 man titles at Payback.  The Shield looked great tonight whereas the Ascension, led by Kane for this match, didn’t.  Fortunately for them, the Enforcers came out to cause enough of a distraction that allowed Kane to hit a Chokeslam from Hell for the win.  MJ gets on the mic and promises to deliver a beating Prestige Inc. has yet to experience.

Brock Lesnar, via taped segment, says Sting will feel pain and suffering like never before.  Brock is leaving with his title intact.  “Payback’s a bitch, bitch!”

Sasha Banks, Charlotte and Paige vs Madison Rayne, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky.  The Beautiful People start off by injuring Paige effectively taking her out of the match.  After that, the veterans schooled newbies Sasha and Charlotte in in just 7 minutes, Madison nails a headscissors takedown and with a hook of the tights, gets the 1-2-3.  (7 min)

Via live satellite feed, Bray Wyatt cuts a promo. "We all must learn to survive in a world so wicked. They cast them out, tossed them aside like a sack of garbage. But I took them in, I embraced them. We grew together, and we united together as brothers in the name of cause. Now it appears that Vader has become just another pawn in Brock’s sick little game. He’s guilty by association, and together they will burn."

We go back to the ring for our Battle Royal #2 to determine who will be taking on the Big Show for the CSWA World Championship.  Everyone was in this one including Big Show but the Enforcers took him out early.  The Shield eliminated Mark Henry while Randy Orton and Ryback eliminated each other.  One person was missing though.  *GONG*!  The Undertaker makes his return and the crowd pops HUGE!  Undertaker makes his way to the ring (there are still about 6 people left in the ring).  Taker eliminates the Fiend and Zack Ryder.  Joe then superkicks Kevin Owens who goes crashing into Undertaker eliminating him.  Joe dispatches Jay Lethal.  That leaves Owens, Leon Teremoto and Joe left.  Owens and Joe actually team up and dump Leon over the top rope.  Kevin immediately turns on Joe but Joe catches him with a Muscle buster and then hurls him over the top rope to get the win.  Samoa Joe wins this battle royal. GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says Joe vs Show will be at Payback to determine the new champ…brother.

Roving reporter Larry Morton says he will have a sit down interview with the world class jackass himself #CJ (if #CJ ever decides to show up at another event…the coward).

It is time for the main event.  Kurt Angle is taking on John Cena.  This one was very short (kind of a let-down) as Kurt hit two Angle Slams on Cena on the outside of the ring and John gets counted out at the 4 minute mark.  Cena makes his way to the back to pack his stuff.  As Kurt is getting ready to leave, he is attacked by Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett beats Kurt silly and then kicks him out of the ring.  Jarrett gets a mic and says he came to the CSWA to challenge Kurt and bring an end to their feud but Kurt then “bolted to the other side”.   Jarrett says he wants a match at Payback against Angle.  GM’s Max McGillicutty and Hogan come out.  Max says he’s game if Hogan is.  Hogan agrees that this is best for business.  Max says “however, it will be in the confines of a steel cage.”  Hogan, looking perturbed that Max stole his thunder just turned and said “Brother.”

That is all for now.  Our next show will be Payback coming to you live from Portland, OR.  Stay Tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.06

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We left off a very valuable piece of information last issue and that was #CertifiedJabroni was trending worldwide within 30 minutes after the Rock’s promo.  Rumor has it that #CJ was embarrassed by the Rock that he decided to no-show today’s event.

Our first match of the night is Jeff Hardy vs. Big E Langston.  Both men stayed toe to toe for about 10 minutes but Hardy’s heart just didn’t seem to be in it.  Big E then hurled Jeff over the top rope.  He followed him to the floor and as Hardy began to battle back, he jumped on the apron going for a suicide dive but Langston caught him and powerbombed him on the floor.  Big E rolled back in just before the 10 count but he turned and reprimanded Langston for taking the fight to the floor.  This allowed Jeff to regain some composure and roll back in the ring.  Big E immediately picks him up and hits an over the shoulder gut breaker.  He folds Jeff up like a sandwich and gets the 1-2-3.  Big E gets the win.  After the match, Jeff walked out with his head low. (12 min)

HWF GM Max McGillicutty meets with Kurt Angle and welcomes him to the HWF.  Angle says he’s pissed off and wants the Caped Crusader again.  Max tells Kurt that CC has officially hung up the cape and cowl and that he is no longer around.  Kurt says that the Crusader cost him a really good gig and that he wants to take it out on someone…anyone.  Max says ok and books him in a match against John Cena for the next show.  If Cena loses, he moves to the CSWA.

We head back to the ring for our next match of Dean Ambrose vs. Alexander Rusev.  What was surprising is that Ambrose was NOT accompanied by his Shield teammates.  Ambrose apparently didn’t need it.  He controlled the match only allowing Rusev limited control.  Finally, Ambrose locked in the Crossface forearms and maneuvered it into a pin.  Ambrose gets the win.   Rusev tried to complain that his foot was  under the rope but the ref just ignored him. (20 min)

Frankie Kazarian is called into the GM’s office and is told that he will no longer be teaming with Christopher Daniels.  Daniels is CSWA and Frankie is HWF.  Frankie is not happy about this and wonders where his (now former) tag team partner is.  Max and Hogan say this is best for business. 

The next match on the card has MVP taking on Jeff Jarrett.  Jarrett is beating the holy hell out of MVP and 8 minutes in, he gets frustrated and walks out.  The bell rings awarding Jarrett the count out win but MVP doesn’t care and keeps walking.

In the back, Jeff Hardy is seen to be carrying his bags and making his way to the door.  CSWA GM Hulk Hogan asks where he is going.  “I’ve lost my ‘smile’ Hulkster.  I have to go find it.”  Hogan approaches him and says “Brother, if you walk out that door, don’t come back.”  Hardy turns to look and Hulk and then leaves the building.  I guess that means Jeff Hardy is no longer employed with the CSWA.

Just as Hogan is making his way back to his office, he approaches MVP and asks “What the hell was that, brother?  You did not represent the CSWA. You are an embarrassment.”  MVP then pops Hogan with a right hook and Hogan yells “Brother, you’re FIRED.  Get your CRAP and get out.  I never want to see you again.”  MVP grabs his stuff (which so happened to be feet away) and then storms out of the building.  2 down…how many to go?  (Doesn’t this stuff happen in 3’s?)

James Storm comes out and says that that Bobby Lashley’s win over him was a fluke.  He challenges him to come out and fight him right now.  Storms says if he doesn’t’ win, he’ll quit.  Bobby comes out for their match.  As soon as the bell rings, Storm grabs a mic and a kendo stick.  “Oh, by the way…anything goes.”  He immediately begins striking Bobby with the kendo stick and Bobby ends up catching it in mid swing and yanks out of Storm’s hands.  He then begins walloping Storm with it.  The match goes on for 14 minutes and Bobby just beat the shit out of Storm.  James almost got lucky when he was using the cane to try and choke out Bobby but Bobby powered out of it and destroyed Storm with a Dominator.  Bobby gets the win and Storm is out of a job.  (there’s #3).

GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says there will be 2 battle royals (one tonight and one the following show) where the winners of each will square off at Payback to crown a new CSWA World Champion…Brother.

Next up is Bo Dallas taking on ‘Main Event’ Buff Austin.  In 21 minutes, Bo gets the win after pinning Austin with a full arm drag and twist.  After the match, Austin beat Bo down dropping him with the 5 point palm explosion.  He leaves Bo moaning in pain behind in the ring.  Bo is helped to the back.

Frankie Kazarian is sitting in the back just stewing.  Different people walk by to say ‘hey’ but he just ignores them.

Next on the card is Bram taking on Heath Slater.  In crushing fashion, Bram gets the win after incapacitating Slater with a vertical suplex.  (13 min)

Bo Dallas is walking out to the parking garage and sees a Bugatti Veyron (we’re sure it’s a rental) being used by Wade Barrett and Jack Swagger.  Bo, in his excitement of seeing such a unique vehicle, scratches the car accidentally.  Wade Barrett and Jack Swagger threaten to rip him limb from limb.  GM Max McGillicutty witnesses this and Barrett and Swagger say they want him in a handicap match.  Max says it will be handicap unless Bo can find himself a willing partner.  Bo runs off looking for someone to have his back. (good luck)

Samoa Joe is in the ring and calls out Kevin Owens.  Joe tells Kevin to stop looking for him as he is right here.  If he wants Joe, come get Joe.  Owens runs down and the two begin to brawl.  The ref rings the bell and we have ourselves a match.  This is the shortest match of the night and was the most even.  Blow for blow, the two stood their ground.  Just past the 5 min mark, Joe and Kevin are fighting on the outside of the ring.  Joe whips Kevin into the ringside barrier (CRASH) and then he handcuffs him to the barrier.  Joe then nonchalantly rolls back in the ring resulting in Kevin getting counted out.  The bell rings and the match is over.  (5 ½ min).  A ref uncuffs Kevin as GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that the two of them need to say right there as the battle royal is up next.

Bo Dallas is walking around the back and sees Frankie Kazarian sitting there.  Bo asks him if he’d be his tag team partner against Barrett and Swagger.  Kazarian stares at him and says “Hell no”.  Bo asks again, same response.  Bo turns and sees GM Max McGillicutty walking his way.  He asks a third time but a bit louder.  “Come on, be my partner.”  Max looks over.  Frankie stares daggers at Bo.  Bo leans over and whispers “Do you want me to leave?”  Frankie yells “Hell yes” just as Max is walking by.    Max says “Done, you’re a team now.”  Bo runs away happy and Max leaves.  Frankie looks at the camera and says “What…the…

F…(the sound went out so we didn’t hear what he was finishing saying).

The battle royal (to determine the first of those individuals who will be fighting) for the World title begins.  Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens immediately were eliminated as they fought and fell over the top rope.  After all the “smoke” cleared, one person was standing tall in the middle of the ring…the Big Show.  It came down to Show vs Bram.  After delivering a knockout punch that sent Bram flying (over the top rope), Big Show gets the win and will go on to Payback to fight someone for the CSWA World title.

That is all for now.  Stay tuned as the action is really heating up.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.05

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s show begins with CSWA GM Hulk Hogan coming down and saying that, following tonight, there will be 2 separate battle royals.  The winner of each battle royal will meet at the supershow and crown a new CSWA World Champion.  HWF GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that the supershow will be known as “Payback”.  He turns to Hogan and says “And that’s the bottom line…brother.”

Our first match is Jupiter Jane vs Southern Belle.  Jane was in control of the majority of the match until Taylor Bella, the Diva’s Champion came down and pie faced Belle.  The ref rang the bell and disqualified Jane.  After the match, Jane cuts a promo about Taylor Bella hiding but eventually she won’t be able to hide for much longer.  (15 min)

The next match is up and it is “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. Leon Teremoto.  Leon has not been on a good roll as of late.  Tonight was no different.  Lethal owned Teremoto and finished him off with the flying elbow drop.  (14 min)

In the back, Kevin Owens says he takes on Mark Henry tonight and will put him down and out.  If any of the enforcers show up, he will deal with each one of them.

We head to the ring for the next match which is The USO’s vs Kenta and Tajiri.  This one is owned by
Asian Connection.  Kenta and Tajiri controlled the tempo of the match and after Tajiri hits Jey with a german suplex, he makes the cover to get the 1-2-3.  Kenta and Tajiri looked good enough to possibly go after the tag team titles.

GM Hulk Hogan meets up with Kurt Angle in the back.  Hogan says that this feud really hasn’t generated much interest as was expected.  Angle says that he finishes this tonight.  Hogan asks “What if you don’t, brother?”  “I will finish this with the Crusader or…I know…I’ll leave the CSWA” Kurt says.  Hogan says the stipulation will be official. 

We go back to the ring where Enforcer member Mark Henry comes out accompanied by Samoa Joe.  Joe goes to sit at ringside.  Kevin Owens comes out to a good pop from the crowd.  Kevin was surprisingly taking the match to the World’s Strongest Man until Joe got involved.  Henry got eye raked by Owens who then dragged the ref to the other side of the ring.  Joe gets up and hits Owens with a superkick.  Kevin falls out of the ring.  Joe then nails a Muscle Buster and Owens is out.  Henry lets the ref go who then counts Kevin out awarding the match to Mark Henry via count out.  Joe gets in the ring and says that the Enforcers will be a force to be reckoned with.  Joe calls out the World Tag Team Champions the Desperados who come out but are immediately attacked by the Ascension (Konnor and Viktor).  The Ascension beat down the champs who are then joined by the Enforcers but out comes the Steel Curtain for the save.  Buzz and Starbuck Steel, armed with ‘steel’ (aka chairs) chase the Enforcers and the Ascension away.  The Desperados recover pretty quickly and thank the Steel Curtain for their assistance. (12 ½ min for the match; 18 minutes total for the segment).

In a taped vignette, everyone’s favorite jackass #CJ cuts a promo calling Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone the “soft serve champion” and says he will also deal with “the pebble” (aka the Rock) all in good time.   “Bitches” (drops the mic).

We go back to the ring for our next match which has Mr. Wrestling 5 vs. ‘The All-American’ Jack Swagger.  Swagger controlled the majority of the match but in the end, a Million $ Kneelift connecting to Swaggers’ jaw dropped him like a rock.  MW5 made the cover and got the win.  (19 min)

Cowboy James Storm bitches about his loss to Bobby Lashley and says he was robbed.  He says he wants Lashley in the ring again.  This time, if he doesn’t win, he’ll quit wrestling.

Kurt Angle vs CC #5 is up next.  Angle comes out and is all cocky.  The Caped Crusader repels from the rafters.  The Crusader pleads with Angle to “look deep and remember who he really is” but Angle starts to pepper him with lefts and rights and chokes him in the ring.  Angle says that the Crusader will be no more after he is done beating him up.  Kurt hits some german suplexes and an Angle Slam.  He goes for the cover but pulls the Crusader up.  He beats him up some more and, while attempting a pin, pulls him up again.  Kurt throws CC to the ropes and just as he connects with a haymaker, CC hits the WAM!BAM!POW! and both men go down.  Kurt for some reason had trouble getting to his feet.  The ref began counting and at the count of 8, CC makes it to his feet.  Angle, almost there, wobbles a bit and falls back down.  The ref counts to 10 and the Caped Crusader wins the match.  Kurt Angle is OUT of the CSWA!  ‘Shirts’ from the back come out and escort Kurt to the back.  The Crusader gets on the mic.  “Fans of the HWF and CSWA, I, the Caped Crusader, made it my goal to show the Olympic Hero the errors of his ways but alas, I could not accomplish that goal.  Tried as I must, I could not get him to turn from his evil ways.  Lost, he is, to his dark side.  Since I have failed in my mission, I have decided to hang up my cape and cowl for now.   The HWF will get to deal with Kurt Angle as they see fit as he is no longer a concern to the CSWA.  With that, I bid you adieu and wish you all the best.  Alfred, get the Batmobile ready.  I’m finished here.”  CC then hooks himself to a rope and zips up to the rafters where he is then consumed by the absence of light.  (33 min)

The Rock (via taped vignette) cuts a promo.  “The Great One…The People’s Champion, is coming.  The Rock says that #CJ has been calling the Rock names…#CJ…that is the dumbest nickname in all sports entertainment.”  He stops while the fans applaud. “#CJ…what exactly does that stand for?  “#Complete Jackass”?  No, no, no.  The Rock says we already knew that.  The Rock knows what it is.  The Rock, and the People, say that #CJ stands for ‘#CertifiedJabroni’. Yes, that’s it.  Fans of the HWF and CSWA, get that out on twitter; on Facebook and any other media platforms you can think of.  #CJ…Certified Jabroni…Can you smellllllalalalalalalala…what the Rock…is…cookin?”  He stares at the camera with a raised eyebrow.

It is time for our main event.  A-Team member Adrian Neville is taking on Daniel Bryan for the North American title.  Neville is accompanied to the ring by teammates Alberto el Patron and Antonio Cesaro.  This will be a best of 3 falls match.  In just a short 9 minutes, Bryan gets the first pin after catching Neville with a European uppercut.  This time, Neville had a better showing but the champ was just too much for him.  In 21 minutes, Bryan catches Adrian with a flying forearm smash and pins him in the middle of the ring.  The A-Team did not interfere.  Daniel Bryan retains the title and celebrates in the ring as the show comes to an end.

That’s all for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.04

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  The show begins with CSWA GM Hulk Hogan coming out and he looks very somber.  The Hulkster says he comes out with news that serves as a huge blow to the CSWA.  Hulk Hogan announces that CSWA World champion and member of the A-Team Austin ‘the Man’ Aries, while on vacation overseas, had an altercation that had him end up in jail.  At the same time, his passport expired.  Because he will not be able to defend the title as required at least once every 30 days, he will be stripped of the title.  He is also being suspended indefinitely for actions unbecoming a World Champion.  It is unsure if/when Aries will return.  Over the next few weeks, a tournament will be held to see who will become the new World Champion…Brother.

HWF GM Max McGillicutty comes out to announce that in 2 weeks, there will be a “supershow” headlined by Lesnar/Sting for the IC title.  Hogan leans in and says that the CSWA will crown a new champion at this super show.

The show starts off with a title match. Christopher Daniels, the US Champion, is defending against the Miz.  Miz comes out first and looks as cocky as ever.   He passes someone holding a sign “The Fiend > the Miz” and he takes it from the fan, looks at the camera and says “not anymore”.  He then tears it up.   He gets in the ring and then the champ comes out.  This is a best of 3 falls match.  Miz gets the first fall in 12 minutes after hitting a skull crushing finale. The next fall goes to Daniels who takes Miz down with the Angel’s Wings. (17 min).  The third fall is completely owned by the Miz and in 19 minutes, hits another Skull Crushing Finale and with a hook of the leg, gets the 1-2-2.  Miz is the NEW US Champion!  While he is celebrating in the ring, the fan who’s sign got torn up climbs the barricade and heads to the ring.  Miz, unaware of what is happening, lays the title in the ring so he can showboat more.  The fan gets in the ring, takes the title and then leaves.  Miz is none the wiser until he goes to grab it and it is gone.  He starts to freak out but has no idea what happened to his belt.  It’s kind of funny watching him tear up ringside, look under the ring, yell at the fans, etc to find out what happened.  As he is leaving, he notices the sign he tore up on the ground with the remains of a disguise.  Miz runs to the back.  (48 min)

Antonio Cesaro and Adrian Neville come out representing the A-Team.  Cesaro says that no one person knows the full truth except Austin Aries but he is suspended.  With that suspension, he says that there is a vacancy in the A-Team that simply cannot exist.  Cesaro says that void is being filled immediately by none other than this man.  Out comes…Alberto El Patron.  Patron was a founding member of the A-Team (under the name Alberto Del Rio) but he was kicked out by Aries.  Patron says that the A-Team will be better than ever without Aries’ arrogance and lack of team support.  His first course of action is to get them a shot at the 6 Man titles.  They leave the ring together.

Our next match is the #4 showdown between Kurt Angle and the Caped Crusader.  This is another short match which really saw Kurt up his game.  In just 5 minutes, he gets the Caped Crusader to tap out to the Angle Lock.  After the match, instead of trying to inflict more damage, he backed off and left the ring. (5 min)

In the back interview area, the Fiend issues a challenge to A-Team member Adrian Neville for his spot at the North American title.

Our next match is tag team action with Kalisto and Solomon Crowe taking on the Ascension with MJ.  The Ascension were all over their opponents and dominated them.  At one point, Konnor and Viktor hit Solomon Crow with the Fall of Man on the outside of the ring taking him out.  Konnor gets back in the ring and hits Kalisto with a powerbomb and hooks the leg for the 1…2…3.  The Ascension are victorious and are on their way to getting a rematch for the titles they lost.  (16 min)

Bray Wyatt is in the back and cuts a promo.  "We all fall victim to the games wicked men play. I am no different. For instance, I have spent the majority of my life trying to understand why these horrible things happen to me. Why me? I would wake and wonder if this nightmare of mine was ever going to end. But it never did. And now, finally, I understand what I must do. One-by-one they will all fall down. Vader, you’re next.  Follow the buzzards."

Our next match is John Cena taking on Vader.  Cena was taking the fight to Vader but then an appearance by Bray Wyatt, which was meant to distract Vader, did the exact opposite.  It lit a fire in him and beat Cena almost into unconsciousness.  He nails him with 3 consecutive Vader Bombs and got the pin. Vader yelled “It’s Time…it’s Time…it’s Vader Time.”  Bray looks nervous and backs up the ramp as Vader exists the ring and starts to go after him. (6 min)

In the back, Layla El says that tonight, she is getting a shot at the Women’s title and unlike anyone before her, she will be walking out with the title.

The Fiend comes out next for his match against Neville for Adrian’s shot at the North American title.  This one goes 23 minutes and is pretty one sided as the Miz came back out yelling at the Fiend “Where’s my title?”  He wouldn’t leave ringside until some suits from the back came and escorted him from the ring. Adrian uses the distraction to hit the Red Arrow and roll up the Fiend for the pin.  Adrian retains his spot.  (23 min)

Back to the interview area, Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel says that tonight, she owns the Main Event and this match will do nothing but embarrass Layla when she leaves empty handed.

Our second to last match is Bobby Lashley taking on James Storm.  In 14 minutes, Lashley ends the match after hitting Storm with a spinebuster and gets the pin in the middle of the ring.

It is time for our main event.  First, the challenger Layla El comes out.  She is then followed by the Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel.   The match was dominated by the challenger but she couldn’t get Raquel to stay down for the 3 count.  A costly mistake made by Layla allowed Raquel to lock in the Ravishing Chickenwing and with a bit of leverage from the ropes, got Layla to tap out.  Ravishing Raquel retains the Women’s title.  (10 min)

That’s all we have for now.  Stay Tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.03

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  This show takes place in San Diego, CA right before the annual phenomenon known as Comic Con.  The show begins with HWF GM Max McGillicutty coming out to welcome everyone to the show.  Max then introduces CSWA GM Hulk Hogan and they say that tonight’s show will have some very interesting surprises in store for the fans.

They are interrupted by #CJ who just bullies himself past the GM’s and makes his way to the ring amidst the booing and hissing from the fans.  He stops, and flips them off.  He gets in the ring with a mic.  “The show can now begin now that the #PC is here.  GM’s…you say tonight is a night of announcements…well guess what…#CJ has an announcement of his own…”  He is interrupted by the fans chanting “YOU SUCK.”  He doesn’t seem to care.  “#CJ is here to throw out the first challenge for the August PPV ‘Clash of the Champions’.  I am officially challenging that THIEF Magnum Dope who STOLE my belt to a rematch.  AND, I want the stipulation to be a ‘Coleminer’s Glove’ match.”  #CJ who was carrying the glove, drops it and then stops as he sees someone in the audience.  He walks over and it’s a fan dressed as Indiana Jones (He must have taken a wrong turn instead of going to a comic-con event).  #CJ asks if he is Indiana Jones.  The fan responds “I am Indiana Jones.”  #CJ shakes his head. “no, no, no.  You’re not.” (Fan) “I’m the character of Indiana Jones”. 

#CJ:  NO, I want the real Indiana Jones.  What is his name?  Harrison Wells?  NO, that’s not it…Ford Fairlane…no, that’s not it.  Oh, I remember now. It’s that old has been with the senior citizens license who can’t fly an airplane.  Hahahaa.”  He rolls back in the ring.

Out comes Harrison Ford much to the surprise of #CJ and the fans.  He gets a huge pop and #CJ looks put off.  Harrison gets in the ring and takes the mic from #CJ.  “Senior, huh?  Just remember this… (he picks up the glove)…Han shot FIRST, bitch.”  He hits #CJ with a loaded glove and gets a huge pop from the crowd and then walked away.  #CJ grabs the mic and screams that’s assault and hollers for the GM’s to call the police.  The cops meet up with Ford in the back and question him but he shows them the “script” where it says “Ford hits #CJ with a right hook”.  The police let him go.

Our first match of the card is Jupiter Jane and Madame Jade vs the Bellas.  During the match, it appeared that Madame Jade got injured after she went flying over the top rope and crashed on the floor.  Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella ran down and hit Jupiter Jane with a chair.  Nikki Bella the locked in a front facelock and then turned it into a cradle to get the 1-2-3.  The Bella are victorious in their match. After the match, Jane helped Madame Jade to the back.  (11 min)

In the back, Taylor Bella is having a laugh with her sisters when newcomer Summer Rae walked over.  Summer said that she would like a shot at the Diva’s title but Taylor told her she is not a contender…not even a blip on her radar.  Summer said that GM Hulk Hogan authorized a match and that will be happening later.  Taylor was left speechless.

Our next match is a tag team match with The Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) taking on Abyss and Adam Rose who now call themselves the Attitude Adjustment.  This one was a hard fought match but stayed pretty even throughout the match.  Abyss was standing on Starbuck’s throat and then got dumped out of the ring.  Starbuck then hit a suicide dive on Abyss into the ringside barrier.  Buzz ran over and dragged his partner back in the ring.  Abyss ends up getting counted out awarding the match to the Steel Curtain.  (22 ½ min)

We go back to the interview area where the Fiend is saying that tonight, he gets the chance of a lifetime where he gets to take on Daniel Bryan for the North American title.  He says it’s an honor and he is ready.

We go back to the ring for our next match R-Truth (no longer the Warrior of Truth) vs Stardust.  R-Truth has reverted back to his original name after the demise of Wyatt’s Warriors.  Truth looked a bit lost for the first 8 minutes of the match but then finally found his way but it was too little too late.  Stardust ended up blasting him with a Bionic Elbow smash and then locked in headlock that he turned into a pin.  Stardust gets the win.  (15 min)

Bray Wyatt cuts a promo on Vader.  “I have no followers. I have only brothers and sisters, all in the name of cause. People are sheep, you understand me. They can't lead themselves, they need to be led. People buy and sell fear. They worship war, they crave war, but I'm not afraid of their wars. I created war. And I think it's time for the masses to wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP! Wake up and look at this lie they're living in, man! The world is deteriorating between their toes and they do nothing about it. They only stand there. They whisper and wonder but they never do anything about it. I've seen it all in my dreams and in my thoughts and above everything else I understand that this is not a beginning; it's the end.  Vader, you stuck your nose in my business and it is time for me to show you the errors of your ways.  Follow the buzzards."

Our next match is Summer Rae taking on Taylor Bella in a non-title match.  I would have to say that Summer had the slight advantage over the Diva’s Champion in terms of wrestling ability but in the end, a sunset flip and a hook of the tights got Taylor the 1-2-3.  As Taylor started to leave, Jupiter Jane came out and Taylor looked worried.  She backed up to the ring and called for her sisters but no one answered.  Madame Jade came out looking a bit beat up and said that the Bella twins were indisposed and could not help her.  Jane got in the ring but immediately received a slap across the face from Taylor.  She immediately bolted as Madame Jade joined her in the ring.  Jane took a mic and said that she is officially challenging Taylor for her title at the Clash of the Champions PPV.  Yes, she knows it’s still about 2 months away but she is putting it out there now.  Taylor is speechless and takes off as Jane and Jade leave the ring to head to the back.  (15 min for the match, 20 min for the whole segment)

Brock Lesnar arrives and says that he is defending the Intercontinental title against Kane tonight.  He keeps walking towards his dressing room. 

We head back to the ring for our next match which has Daniel Bryan defending the North American title against the Fiend.  Before the match even began, the Miz rand down and beat down the Fiend with a chair.  After the refs came out and escorted Miz to the back, Bryan asked the Fiend if he wanted to continue and the answer was yes.  Unfortunately, that beatdown took everything out of the Fiend and even though he went 20 minutes, he never amounted much of an offense.  Bryan ends up getting the win after nailing a double underhook suplex and pinning the Fiend in the middle of the ring.  After the match, Bryan helped the Fiend up and they left at the same time. (20 min)

Kane is pacing in the back and he is approached by GM Max McGillicutty.  Max tells Kane that this very well could be his last shot at this title and he better put on a good performance.  Kane asked what that’s supposed to mean but the GM walked off.

It is time for our main event with Brock Lesnar defending the Intercontinental title against Kane.  Kane did not have a good showing in this match – well either that or he was average and Lesnar was a behemoth.  Lesnar basically beat the holy hell out of Kane and I really doubt there was anything he could do about it.  Brock ends up getting the win after hitting a press and slam.  Just as the bell rang bringing the match to a close, the lights go out briefly and then when they come back on, Sting is standing in the ring with his baseball bat.  Sting hits Brock with the bat a few times till Brock bails out of the ring.   He stares daggers at Sting and the two exchange words as the show comes to a close.

That’s all for now.  Stay tuned.  More action to follow.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.02

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We hope everyone had a great 4^th holiday.  Well, as expected, #CJ seems to have gotten his, pardon the phrase, panties in a twist and went on another rant.  We cut to that video now.

#CJ: Are you ficken kidding me, are you serious......you've got to be shitting me, first the main eventer is not on the card, then you bring in the “peoples pebble” to TRY and steal MY SHINE, he MAY be the rock, but I #CJ am a monument, then you put me in the ring without a title shot, and if wasn't for the good ship ice cream clown, what #CJ IS OUT RAGED, THIS BLATANT. UPSTAGING, fake a$$ under promoting, and general debauchery ....... that's it Bollywood, fat boy, 40yr old virgin, and skipping stone, you are forcing the man the myth the MONUMENT, the real #PC to pave his own thru this little federation, and blaze thru anyone, anywhere, at anytime,,,,,,, #cj out (drops the mic)

Today’s show comes to you from Denver, CO. 

First match Big Show vs. Curtis Axel.  Axel actually took control early on and kept chop blocking the Show’s leg and beat him down.  Show would bounce back up but Axel wound bring him back down again.  Axel thought he had him in a  good place and tried for the fisherman’s suplex (the same move his father used to do) and after two tries of almost getting Show off his feet, Big Show back body drops him.  Axel jumps to the ropes to hit, what we think, a superman punch but Show caught him with an eye rake.  Axel reacted like he just had his eyes gouged out of his head.  Talk about over-selling.  Big Show made the cover and got the win.  (16 min)  After the match, Axel was still over-selling so Show just left.

In the interview area, Prince Devitt says he wants to cash in his title shot tonight against CSWA World Champ Austin Aries.  Aries can no longer ditch him.  Tonight, he makes history.

The next match on the card has Roman Reigns defending the X-Division title against Tyler Breeze.  The champ was dominating the challenger at the beginning of the match but Breeze continued to fight back.  The Enforcers (Ryback, Mark Henry and Samoa Joe) all came out and surrounded the ring.  After causing a distraction, Breeze catches Reigns (who was coming off the ropes ready to hit a spear) and nailed him with a superkick.  The fans screamed “HOLY SHIT” as that was an awesome move.  Breeze makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Tyler Breeze defeats Roman Reigns to become the NEW X-Division Champion.  After the match, Shield members Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins run down and with a recovered Roman Reigns, brawls with the Enforcers all the way to the back.  (16 min)

CSWA GM Hulk Hogan announces he’s signed Jeff Jarrett to a short term contract.

Jack Swagger comes out to the ring and accuses Kevin Owens of abandoning their team and challenges him to a fight.  “As Kevin Steen, we were getting title shots.  Now as Owens, you’ve changed and ditched the only person who didn’t mind teaming with you.  You turned your back on me and now, you get to deal with me.” Kevin Owens comes out and says that he carried Swagger so if anyone has a right to be pissed off, its Owens.  Swagger attacked him and our match begins.  Both men were going toe to toe and would trade back and forth control of the match until, around the 13^th minute in the match, Samoa Joe comes down.  The ref gets bumped and is not able to count.  Owens hurls Swagger out of the ring and brawls with Joe. The other members of the Enforcers come down and beat Owens down.  Joe hits a Muscle Buster on Owens and he looks finished.  The Enforcers leave and Swagger crawls back in the ring just as the ref is recovering.  He picks Owens up and hits the Red, White & Blue Thunder Driver and gets the pin.  He wipes his hands and then kicks Kevin once more for good measure before leaving.  (21 min)

Roderick Strong will be in action tonight against Sami Zayn.  Strong says that if he can’t win this match, he’ll quit.

The next match on the card is Sheamus vs Kofi Kingston.  Sheamus was showboating and not giving any credit to Kofi which backfired. During the very short match, Ken Anderson comes down to distract Sheamus.  Kofi then hit a schoolboy rollup and stole a win.  Anderson looked at the camera and said “I’m like a bad penny, I always turn up.”  (4 min)

Our always roving report Clarkus Kentus chimed in with his latest report.  “This just in, The Rock has promised to respond to, and I quote, ‘#ChokanJabroni I'm booking your ass on a vacation to Shut your Mouthville and making you a reservation at the Smackdown Hotel with a view of Know Your Damn Role beach.’ Stay tuned fans!”  The fans popped at the announcement of the Rock returning.

We go back to the ring for our next match.  Sami Zayn vs Roderick Strong.  Strong says if he can’t win, he’ll quit.  This was by far the most interesting and longest match of the night.  Strong looked like a man on a mission but Zayn was THAT much better.  After surpassing the 20 minute mark, Strong nails Zayn with a Backbreaker Variation but somehow Zayn hits a wristlock tornado DDT and gets the 1-2-3 right in the middle of the ring.  Roderick Strong is now out.  The fans gave him a standing ovation as he and Zayn shook hands and then left the ring together.  (21 min)

CSWA World Champion and leader of the A-Team Austin Aries addressed his title match in tonight’s main event.  “Devitt, you were something on the independent circuit.  Now, you’re in the major leagues.  You are, at best, bush league material.  You will never see this championship around your waist nor will the ‘the Man’ lose his title.  This belt is with me till the day I die.”

We go back to the ring for our next match which is the Uso’s taking on Kenta and Tajiri.  This now became the longest match of the night going to a 30 minute time limit draw.  Both teams are vying for a shot at the World Tag Team Champions the Desperados but nothing was determined tonight.  I am sure these two teams will be meeting again.

Not surprising, #CJ heard the announcement Clarkus Kentus made earlier and of course, had to add his 2 cents: 

“Blah balh blah, smell this smell that, cooking this cooking that, smack down yeah yeah yeah, you know I think rock......It doesn't matter what you think I think!!!!!!!! Role role role, I'm going to show you the role the REAL #PC plays, you’re an actor, an over rated over paid extra in b line flicks whose over juiced and has no real talent, thank God for scripting, and editing JABRONI!!!!!  Ohhh look out everybody run ohhhhh panic panic panic, the rock is gonna come lay the WACK down......ohhhh no his wrestling is worse than his acting.......ohhhhhh ewwwwww SHUT THE HELL UP and smell your upper lip jackass!!!!!!”  (drops the mic)

It is time for our main event.  First, the challenger Prince Devitt comes out.  He high fives with the fans before getting in the ring.  Next, the CSWA World Champion ‘the Man’ Austin Aries comes out.  He promised that he would not be losing his title tonight.   He said that the world as we know it, will come to an end if he loses.  Aries controlled the match as expected but at every turn, Devitt would kick out or make it to the ropes to break the hold.  As the match progressed, Aries became more and more frustrated he could not put Devitt down.  At the 29^th minute of the match, Aries nails a dropkick but takes his time to make the cover.  The ref counts 1…2…KICKOUT.  Devitt kicks out again.   Devitt manages to hit a falling overhead kick but cannot capitalize on it as the bell rings to bring this one to an end.  The match ends in a draw and Aries retains. 

With that, the show comes to an end.  Stay tuned to our next issue for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.01

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  The first issue of July starts off with a BANG!  GM Hulk Hogan comes out with owners Mr. Bychowski & Mr. Meyers.  The owners let the GM take the mic.  “Welcome to the HWF and CSWA brother.  The Hulkster, alongside the owners, has a major announcement to make.  The HWF will be hiring a new GM…and he will be here tonight.  Hogan pauses as “IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLL....What the ROCK is COOKIN.”  Hogan looks to the owners who look perplexed.  Out walks…#CJ.  The fans who were cheering did a 180 and booed the CRAP out of #CJ.  He is standing there laughing.  He has a mic.

“All of you dopes…#CJ should be the GM as I am the only one who knows what truly is best for business.  But I digress.  Once again, the #PC is NOT on the card.  Old Man Hogan…what’s the deal?  You’re keeping me down because you don’t want me showing everyone up.  Fat Man Meyers and Donnie Flabby B, you two are no better.  #CJ is the #PC and you better realize before I make your lives a living hell…”  Hogan walks over and yanks the mic from #CJ.   “Just who do you think you are, brother, coming out and interrupting us like this?  You want to see action tonight?  Guess what…curtain jerking (refers to the first match of the card) it is for you BROTHER.  Get your ASS out of here and get yourself ready.  You’ve got a HUGE challenge ahead of yourself.”  #CJ looks worried and then heads to the back. 

“Now that that fool is dealt with, The Hulkster wants to introduce you to the NEW GM for the HWF.”  New music hits and out comes an unfamiliar face.  He gets a decent reaction.  “Fans of the HWF, my name is Max McGillicutty.  I’ve been hired to replace Master Bull as GM for the HWF.  I can guarantee you, like my predecessor, I won’t take bull crap from anyone and I will make sure that what transpires under my watch will be what is best for business.”  He gets a small reaction; mostly positive.  He shakes hands with the owners and Hulk Hogan and they all leave the stage.

The first match of the card is #CJ taking on a mystery opponent.  #CJ is pacing in the ring until out comes…Roman Reigns.  Reigns, the X-Division champion, comes out but his title is not on the line tonight much to the dismay of #CJ.  5 minutes into the match, the Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone comes out to hand out ice cream to the kids at ringside.  #CJ takes offense and yells at him.  Reigns then nails #CJ with the Moment of Silence and scores the win.  #CJ yelled at Magnum as he sulked to the back.  (6 min)

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that he has hired a brand new team who will be debuting tonight.  He introduces the team called ‘The Steel Curtain’ and they are Buzz Steel and Starbuck Steel.  They come out to a decent pop and shake hands with the fans.  Max says that the Steel Curtain has their work cut out for them in their debut match.  Out comes Konnor and Viktor – The Ascension.  They are accompanied by their manager MJ.  MJ says that the Ascension will make examples of these newbies and will work on getting their titles back.  The Ascension looked very aggressive and put on a great show but the Steel Curtain wouldn’t lay down.  At the 25 minute mark, the World Tag Team Champions the Desperados come out and that causes a distraction for Konnor and Viktor.  As they are hollering at the champs, Buzz Steel nails Viktor with the Buzzkill (an insuguri) and gets the 1-2-3.  The Steel Curtain are victorious in their first match.  The Ascension are pissed off and the Desperados walk away laughing.  (26 min)

In the back, the Band – Dirk Devon and the Axe – say they are getting their title match tonight and they will take the belts from champs.  Axe warns the Ascension to stay out of their business.

Kane makes his way down to the ring.  He calls out Sting and says he is challenging him for his spot in the lineup for the Intercontinental title held by Brock Lesnar.  The Scorpion Warrior comes out and accepts the challenge.  Kane was surprisingly taking the match to Sting and things got worse for the Scorpion Warrior when IC champion Brock Lesnar came out.  He went to sit at ringside commentary.  Part way through the match, Sting hops out of the ring and gets in Brock’s face.  As Kane distracts the ref, Lesnar blasts Sting with the F-5.  He then leaves. Sting ends up getting counted out.  Kane gets the win via CO and moves up in the rankings while Sting moves down. (10 ½ min)

Kurt Angle is being interviewed and says that in his next match, he will make the Caped Crusader bleed.  The new GM Max McGillicutty overhears this and says that he is adding a stipulation to their match and that will be First Blood rules (the first person to bleed loses).

The next match on the card is #3 in our best of 7 between the Caped Crusader and Kurt Angle.  So far, CC has not put up much of a fight.  He repels down to the ring and looks determined.  As with their other matches, Kurt owned this one.  After hitting 2 Angle Slams on CC, Kurt goes to the corner and removed the padded turnbuckle exposing the metal brackets.  Music hits and Kurt is startled to see who comes out.  It’s none other than…JEFF JARRETT!!!  Kurt questions what is going on as Jarrett is not a member of either the HWF or CSWA roster.  The Caped Crusader recovers and nails Kurt with the Wam!Bam!Pow! but Kurt recovers and charges CC.  CC trips Kurt and he bashes his head into the exposed metal brackets busting him open.  The ref rings the bell and awards this fall to the Caped Crusader. Jeff Jarrett helps the Crusader up and helps him to the back while Kurt, sporting a crimson mask, stews in the ring.  (10 min)

 

The Beautiful People (Southern Belle, Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne and Angelina Love) all meet in the interview area.  They talk about going after the Women’s title except one person will not.  They all look at Belle and say that ever since she lost the Diva’s title, she’s become a liability they no longer want to be associated with. Velvet Sky ends up firing Belle from the team.  She is no longer one of them.  Belle leaves with her head held low.

Bray Wyatt says that he and Austin Aries will meet one more time and it will be in tonight’s main event for the Undisputed Heavyweight title.  He cuts a promo. 

"They say that patience is a virtue. But in my estimation, it's a lost art. People want everything now, now, now and they want more, and more, and more of it. They don't realize that beyond their precious city walls there is another world and it's full of animals just like yours: my world. And in my world, when one of my animals is sick or hurt we don't let them fumble around in agony. We put 'em down. Hey, you want to see something really scary? Don't you worry about a thing, Abigail. I'm going to put 'em all down. I'm going to put 'em down.  Austin Aries, tonight, you become one less threat to my championship."

The next match on the card is for the Diva’s title.  The challenger Brie Bella comes out first followed by her sister the Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella.  Before the match can begin, Taylor pleads with her sister to not go through with this.  The bell rings and Taylor pokes Brie in the chest (dreaded finger of doom) and Brie lays down in the ring.  Taylor laughs as she goes for the cover.  The ref counts 1…music hits and out runs Jupiter Jane.  She rushes the ring but Taylor bails out.   She ends up chasing her to the back resulting in an unexpected count out victory for Brie.   (30 seconds)

In the back, CSWA World Champion Austin Aries says that he will make headline news tonight when he takes the Undisputed Heavyweight title from Bray…something no one has been able to do.  He says that everyone in Vegas can bet on him to lock this up as a sure thing.

We head back to the ring for the Tag Team title match between the challengers the Band (Dirk Devon and the Axe) vs the champions the Desperados (El Chango and the Stache).  No time is wasted as the Band goes on the attack right off the bat.  This was nothing short of total domination.  I’ve never seen a team do so poorly as the Band did.  The Desperados beat the holy hell out of their opponents and in 14 minutes, comes to and end after El Chango caught Dirk Devon with a shooting star press. The champs retain but they have little time to celebrate as the Ascension run down and attack all 4 men.  The band were in no shape to defend themselves so they got destroyed pretty easily.  The champs were taken out by chair shots from MJ and then dropped with the “Fall of Man”.  The Ascension pick up the titles and pose with them before dropping them amid the destruction they just caused.  MJ says the Ascension will get a rematch however they are holding off invoking their rematch clause…until they’re ready.

In the back, Big Show is being interviewed and is interrupted by Curtis Axel.  Axel says that “Axel-mania is running wild” and it should be he being interviewed.  Axel makes fun of Big Show for losing to #CJ.  Show replies with “Well, at least I didn’t’ get pinned in a title match by my FATHER’S signature wrestling move.”  Show laughs and Axel slaps him across the face.  Big Show begins to hulk up.  GM Max McGillicutty hops in and says that there will be no backstage brawling.  The two of them will meet in a ring next week.

It is time for our main event and the steel cage has finished being constructed.  Bray Wyatt and Austin Aries fight for the Undisputed Heavyweight title and only one will walk away with the belt.  Bray dominated the match.  Aries could not get any real offense started. After smashing Austin’s face in the cage, he blinded him by raking his face across the ring rope.  He then climbed the cage and just as he was about to go over the top, he turned and lept nailing a B-52 kneedrop from the top of the cage to a prone Aries on the mat.  More HOLY SHIT chants went out.  Bray manages to make the cover for the 1-2-3 and then makes his way out of the cage to win the match.  Bray Wyatt retains the Undisputed title.  After the match, Bray got on the mic and said that Brock’s time right now is being occupied by Sting so in the meantime, he wants to address someone who stuck their nose in his business last show…Big Van Vader.  Bray acknowledges that Vader is only there on a short term contract and he will deal with him soon enough.  Vader runs out and blasts Bray.  Vader hits Bray with a Vader Bomb on the exposed metal ramp and Bray is in pain.  Vader stands over him to the cheering of the fans as the show comes to an end.

Stay tuned for more action.