Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
We hope everyone had a great 4th holiday. Well, as expected, #CJ seems to have gotten
his, pardon the phrase, panties in a twist and went on another rant. We cut to that video now.
#CJ:
Are you ficken kidding me, are you serious......you've got to be shitting me,
first the main eventer is not on the card, then you bring in the “peoples
pebble” to TRY and steal MY SHINE, he MAY be the rock, but I #CJ am a monument,
then you put me in the ring without a title shot, and if wasn't for the good
ship ice cream clown, what #CJ IS OUT RAGED, THIS BLATANT. UPSTAGING, fake a$$
under promoting, and general debauchery ....... that's it Bollywood, fat boy,
40yr old virgin, and skipping stone, you are forcing the man the myth the
MONUMENT, the real #PC to pave his own thru this little federation, and blaze
thru anyone, anywhere, at anytime,,,,,,, #cj out (drops the mic)
Today’s
show comes to you from Denver, CO.
First
match Big Show vs. Curtis Axel. Axel
actually took control early on and kept chop blocking the Show’s leg and beat
him down. Show would bounce back up but
Axel wound bring him back down again.
Axel thought he had him in a good
place and tried for the fisherman’s suplex (the same move his father used to
do) and after two tries of almost getting Show off his feet, Big Show back body
drops him. Axel jumps to the ropes to
hit, what we think, a superman punch but Show caught him with an eye rake. Axel reacted like he just had his eyes gouged
out of his head. Talk about
over-selling. Big Show made the cover
and got the win. (16 min) After the match, Axel was still over-selling
so Show just left.
In
the interview area, Prince Devitt says he wants to cash in his title shot
tonight against CSWA World Champ Austin Aries.
Aries can no longer ditch him.
Tonight, he makes history.
The
next match on the card has Roman Reigns defending the X-Division title against
Tyler Breeze. The champ was dominating
the challenger at the beginning of the match but Breeze continued to fight
back. The Enforcers (Ryback, Mark Henry
and Samoa Joe) all came out and surrounded the ring. After causing a distraction, Breeze catches
Reigns (who was coming off the ropes ready to hit a spear) and nailed him with
a superkick. The fans screamed “HOLY
SHIT” as that was an awesome move.
Breeze makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3. Tyler Breeze defeats Roman Reigns to become
the NEW X-Division Champion. After the
match, Shield members Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins run down and with a
recovered Roman Reigns, brawls with the Enforcers all the way to the back. (16 min)
CSWA
GM Hulk Hogan announces he’s signed Jeff Jarrett to a short term contract.
Jack
Swagger comes out to the ring and accuses Kevin Owens of abandoning their team
and challenges him to a fight. “As Kevin
Steen, we were getting title shots. Now
as Owens, you’ve changed and ditched the only person who didn’t mind teaming
with you. You turned your back on me and
now, you get to deal with me.” Kevin Owens comes out and says that he carried
Swagger so if anyone has a right to be pissed off, its Owens. Swagger attacked him and our match begins. Both men were going toe to toe and would
trade back and forth control of the match until, around the 13th
minute in the match, Samoa Joe comes down.
The ref gets bumped and is not able to count. Owens hurls Swagger out of the ring and
brawls with Joe. The other members of the Enforcers come down and beat Owens
down. Joe hits a Muscle Buster on Owens
and he looks finished. The Enforcers
leave and Swagger crawls back in the ring just as the ref is recovering. He picks Owens up and hits the Red, White
& Blue Thunder Driver and gets the pin.
He wipes his hands and then kicks Kevin once more for good measure
before leaving. (21 min)
Roderick
Strong will be in action tonight against Sami Zayn. Strong says that if he can’t win this match,
he’ll quit.
The
next match on the card is Sheamus vs Kofi Kingston. Sheamus was showboating and not giving any
credit to Kofi which backfired. During the very short match, Ken Anderson comes
down to distract Sheamus. Kofi then hit
a schoolboy rollup and stole a win.
Anderson looked at the camera and said “I’m like a bad penny, I always
turn up.” (4 min)
Our
always roving report Clarkus Kentus chimed in with his latest report. “This just in, The Rock has promised to
respond to, and I quote, ‘#ChokanJabroni I'm booking your ass on a vacation to
Shut your Mouthville and making you a reservation at the Smackdown Hotel with a
view of Know Your Damn Role beach.’ Stay tuned fans!” The fans popped at the announcement of the
Rock returning.
We
go back to the ring for our next match.
Sami Zayn vs Roderick Strong.
Strong says if he can’t win, he’ll quit.
This was by far the most interesting and longest match of the
night. Strong looked like a man on a
mission but Zayn was THAT much better.
After surpassing the 20 minute mark, Strong nails Zayn with a
Backbreaker Variation but somehow Zayn hits a wristlock tornado DDT and gets
the 1-2-3 right in the middle of the ring.
Roderick Strong is now out. The
fans gave him a standing ovation as he and Zayn shook hands and then left the
ring together. (21 min)
CSWA
World Champion and leader of the A-Team Austin Aries addressed his title match
in tonight’s main event. “Devitt, you
were something on the independent circuit.
Now, you’re in the major leagues.
You are, at best, bush league material.
You will never see this championship around your waist nor will the ‘the
Man’ lose his title. This belt is with
me till the day I die.”
We
go back to the ring for our next match which is the Uso’s taking on Kenta and
Tajiri. This now became the longest
match of the night going to a 30 minute time limit draw. Both teams are vying for a shot at the World
Tag Team Champions the Desperados but nothing was determined tonight. I am sure these two teams will be meeting
again.
Not
surprising, #CJ heard the announcement Clarkus Kentus made earlier and of
course, had to add his 2 cents:
“Blah
balh blah, smell this smell that, cooking this cooking that, smack down yeah
yeah yeah, you know I think rock......It doesn't matter what you think I
think!!!!!!!! Role role role, I'm going to show you the role the REAL #PC
plays, you’re an actor, an over rated over paid extra in b line flicks whose
over juiced and has no real talent, thank God for scripting, and editing
JABRONI!!!!! Ohhh look out everybody run
ohhhhh panic panic panic, the rock is gonna come lay the WACK down......ohhhh
no his wrestling is worse than his acting.......ohhhhhh ewwwwww SHUT THE HELL
UP and smell your upper lip jackass!!!!!!”
(drops the mic)
It
is time for our main event. First, the
challenger Prince Devitt comes out. He
high fives with the fans before getting in the ring. Next, the CSWA World Champion ‘the Man’
Austin Aries comes out. He promised that
he would not be losing his title tonight.
He said that the world as we know it, will come to an end if he loses. Aries controlled the match as expected but at
every turn, Devitt would kick out or make it to the ropes to break the
hold. As the match progressed, Aries
became more and more frustrated he could not put Devitt down. At the 29th minute of the match,
Aries nails a dropkick but takes his time to make the cover. The ref counts 1…2…KICKOUT. Devitt kicks out again. Devitt manages to hit a falling overhead
kick but cannot capitalize on it as the bell rings to bring this one to an end. The match ends in a draw and Aries
retains.
With
that, the show comes to an end. Stay
tuned to our next issue for more action.
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