Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
Tonight, live from Portland, OR is Payback. Our super show begins with GM’s Max
McGillicutty and Hulk Hogan coming out to address the crowd. The crowd is hot tonight. Hogan reiterates that a new CSWA World
Champion will be crowned tonight. It
will either be Samoa Joe or Big Show.
Both men actually had good showings in their respective battle
royals. Max says tonight’s main event –
Sting vs Brock Lesnar for the Intercontinental title, since it is following
Angle /Jarrett in a cage, will also take place in that same steel
structure.
To
kick off the show, Bray Wyatt cuts a promo.
"The nature of man has always fascinated me. I mean look at y'all,
running around like a bunch of blind mice chasing a piece of cheese. But riddle
me this: what shall happen when the snake enters the maze? I'll play your
childish little game for now, boys, but let it be known I am the king. I am the
designer of chaos. I decide who does what and where they do it. I deal the
cards. The world spins on axis above my jagged teeth and when I clamp down,
believe me, the world will shake. Tonight, at Payback, I will put an end to
this child-like charade. Vader, once all is said and done, I’ll have
accomplished exactly what I said I would do and close the ‘box’ of this
pointless feud. The era of Wyatt
continues. Run."
Our
first match on the card is The Desperados vs the Steel Curtain in a non-title
match. Originally, this was supposed to
be a title match but both GM’s said that they determine who gets a title shot
and when. The Desperados (El Chango and
the Stache) have since agreed that if the Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck
Steel) can defeat them, they will be granted a title shot. The Steel Curtain had a really great showing
and took the match in dominating fashion to the champs. However, the Ascension made their presence
known and that threw the champs off even more.
8 minutes in and the ref takes a bump.
The Steel Curtain get dumped out of the ring and the Ascension beat down
Stache and El Chango dropping them both with the Fall of Man. They leave as the ref recovers. Buzz Steel is back in the ring (he didn’t see
the beatdown) and hits the Stache with the Buzzkill. He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3. The Steel Curtain win the match and will be
in line for a future title shot. The
Ascension are on the ramp laughing at the champs. They then make their way to the back.
In
the back, the Ascension with MJ and Kane say they are ready for their 6 man tag
team title shot. Tonight, they will
destroy Prestige Inc and walk out with the titles.
The
next match on the card is Big Van Vader vs Bray Wyatt (the title is not on the
line). Vader comes out first. Bray then follows but is dragging a box (like
a crude casket) behind him. Vader says
he’s going to bury Bray in that box but Bray immediately attacks him as the
match begins. This one didn’t go as long
as we expected but we were not surprised when Intercontinental Champion Brock
Lesnar came out and stood on the ramp.
Bray threw Vader out of the ring and then stood in the ring motioning to
Brock to “bring it”. Vader slides back
in the ring and splashes Bray in the corner.
He then climbs the turnbuckles (he could only get to the second one) and
hits a Vadersault. Vader makes the cover
and gets the 1-2-3. Vader is the
winner. Brock makes his way to the ring
as Vader is leaving. Brock picks up Bray
and nails an F-5. He then drags Bray out
of the ring and puts him in that very box Bray brought out earlier. He then dragged it up the ramp and then
pushed it off the stage to the floor below.
The box explodes on impact with the floor and Bray is down and out. Lesnar glares at the camera and then
leaves. (8 min for the match; 15 for the
segment.)
We
cut to the back where the Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone is cutting a promo
telling #CJ to keep is #certifiedjabroni ass out of his business or he will
light him up (but not in the 4:20 sense).
It
is time for the 6 Man titles to be defended.
The champs – The Ascension w/ MJ and Kane come out first. Konnor mocks Prestige Inc calling them closet
champs. Viktor takes the mic and says
that it will be a “RRRRUSH” when they becomes the new champs. Kane says they are here to do one thing and that
is win. The champs (King Damian Sandow, Magnus
and Reid Rothchild) head to the ring.
The Ascension immediately attack but are stopped by GM Max
McGillicutty. Max says that this match
will be a best of 3 falls, 60 minute time limit match. Kane and the Ascension go on a tear and
annihilate Prestige. After being beat
down for about 13 minutes, Kane shoves Reid who go flying into the steel post
busting him open. Kane rolls him up for
the first fall. The annihilation
continued with Prestige Inc. barely putting up a fight. This time, Kane was beating the tar out of
King Damian and after standing on his throat, quickly tagged out to Konnor who,
along with Viktor, hit Sandow with the Fall of Man. They then dispatch Reid and Magnus. Quick tag back to Kane who hits a chokeslam
and makes the cover for the 1-2-3. (11
min). The Ascension and Kane are the NEW
6 Man tag team champions. Viktor gets on
the mic and says they are unstoppable and that no team on earth can beat
them. MJ says that no A-team, no Enforcers,
no one can beat this team. They then
head to the back.
We
cut to the back where Kurt Angle is cutting a promo. He says that Jeff Jarrett is a no good,
wife-stealing (in real life, Jarrett is married to Kurt’s ex) sonofabitch. Jarrett walks over and asks if he’s taken a
page out of Donald Trump’s playbook (one of name calling) and gone back to the
5th grade. Jarrett says that
he’s tired of Angle being around and says tonight, he puts the Olympic hero
away for good.
We
go back to the ring for our next match.
Madame Jade, accompanied by Jupiter Jane, heads to the ring. Jane goes over and sits at commentary. The Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella comes
out. She says that her title is not on
the line tonight but then GM Hulk Hogan comes out to correct her. He says Taylor has been hiding behind her
title and as a champion, needs to step up.
Jade, looks ecstatic. This one
practically went the distance. 28 ½
minutes in, Taylor is being beaten up by Madame Jade. Just when it appears Jade is going to go for
the pin, Taylor rolls out of the ring and walks to the back resulting in a
countout. Madame Jade gets the win but
the title does not change hands on a Countout.
Jade is pissed off but she knows she can beat Taylor. She and Jupiter Jane leave.
Brock
is walking around backstage and says tonight is the end of Sting. He then walked away.
We
head back to the ring for our next title match.
Hardcore champion Magnum Kone is defending his title against Prince
Devitt. Kone - the King of Cones – owned this match which
had lights out rules (also no DQ). The
ref basically stood back while the two fought it out. Magnum hurt Devitt early on after splashing
him in the corner. After a few minutes
of just beating him down, Magnum then hits Devitt with the Ice Cream Sandwich
and rolled him up for the 1-2-3. (15
min) Magnum gave out some ice cream to
the kids at ringside (and one to Prince Devitt) and then headed to the back.
Roving
reporter Larry Morton runs down to the ring.
“#CJ…#CJ…how about that interview?
We’ve got the ring.”
Music
hits and out comes #CJ…wait, that’s not #CJ…it’s the ROCK dressed as #CJ. He struts down to the ring all gangsta like
(like a really bad Flava Flav – grill and all).
He gets in the ring with Larry.
Morton: Um, you’re not #CJ.
Rock: No, jabroni, er I mean, Mr. Morton. I am #CJock.
I am the gangsta’s gangsta. The
People’s Gangsta, if you willllllll.
Morton: Well, since you’re here, what do you have for
us Rock, I mean, #CJock?
#CJock: I’m here to call out that no good Rock. He hurt my feelings. You see, I’m a pretty sensitive guy and he,
well, he just irks me to no end. The
Rock, the baddest man in Hollywood, the People’s Champion, well, I’m afraid of
him. I don’t want no piece of him,
man. That is why I’ve been absent from
TV. You see, I can’t handle
pressure. I lost my title to an Ice
Cream Man (no offense Magnum Kone). I
am not worthy of even being in the HWF and CSWA and therefore I have decided to
tuck my tail between my legs and run away.
Morton: So are you saying you’re quitting?
#CJock: I am a quitter but I have to say, I’m going
to man up. I’m going to challenge the
Rock to a match at the Clash of the Champions PPV in August.
Morton: But that PPV is only for people with a
title. You don’t have one.
#CJock: Ah but I do have something to put on the line
against the Rock more valuable than a title. I have what’s left of my pitiful
career. Rock the Almighty, I challenge
you (starts shaking a bit) to a match at the PPV. If you have the guts, you’ll accept.
Morton: There you have it folks. #CJ has challenged the Rock to a match at the
PPV. Thank you #CJock for your time.
#CJock: No, thank you Larry. Now, I better skedaddle before Rock comes out
here and kicks my ass.
#CJock
and Larry Morton leave the ring. The
fans were laughing hysterically throughout the entire segment.
We
cut back to the interview area where Big Show and Samoa Joe as participating in
a joint interview. Joe says that he will
do what it takes to win even if that means bringing in the Enforcers. Show says to make this no DQ so he can fight
all 3 and knock each and every one of them out.
The two stare intently at each other as the segment ends and both men
head to the ring.
It
is time for the match to crown a new CSWA World Champion. The first battle royal winner Big Show comes
out first and is followed by Samoa Joe. When
the bell rang, it was all business in the ring. Both men fought the closest
fight this writer has ever seen. Big
Show would blast Joe with punches and chokeslams but Joe would counter with
rear naked chokeholds and DDT’s. At one
point (not at the invitation of Joe), the Enforcers (Ryback and Mark Henry)
come out. As Ryback was trying to interfere
(this was determined to be a no DQ match), Kevin Owens runs out and takes
Ryback out. Mark Henry eats a big punch
from Big Show taking him out. Owens gets
in the ring and goes after Joe who blasts him and he crashes into Big
Show. Show hurls Owens over the top
rope. Joe kicks Show in the gut and
plants him with a DDT. He hooks the leg
and with feet on the ropes, gets the count 1…2…KICKOUT! Joe can’t believe it. Show struggles to his feet and Joe hits him
with a second DDT. He then locks in the
rear naked choke trying to drain any strength left in the Big Show. He makes the cover but Show kicks out
again. Joe then drops him with a Tornado
DDT and he makes the cover again. The
ref counts 1…2…3. Samoa Joe gets the win
in 17 minutes and becomes the NEW CSWA World Champ. GM Hulk Hogan comes out and presents Joe with
the World title. Joe begins to celebrate
in the ring but then leaves somewhat unexpectedly.
Sting
is interviewed in the back and says that he’s ready for anything Brock can
conjure up and he will win. Aaooowwwwwww
(scream)
The
crew are setting up the steel cage. Kurt
Angle comes out and sits at commentary talking with the announcers. As soon as it’s completed, he climbs up the
cage and at the top, he calls out Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett comes down and enters the cage
through the door. Angle climbs down and
the match immediately begins. Jarrett
immediately grabbed a guitar that was sitting at ringside and BLASTED Kurt with
it busting him open in the early seconds of the match. He goes for the pin but Kurt kicks out at
2. JJ stuns Angle with chops. He goes for a second guitar but Kurt hits the
Angle Slam for a 2 count. JJ grinds
Angle’s face in the cage and then struts across the ring. Kurt grabs him and hits another Angle
Slam. JJ kicks out at 1. The two continue to slug it out for 15
minutes. A masked wrestler came down and
threw a chain in to JJ. Kurt yanked it
away and threw it out of the ring. After
Angle got crotched on the top rope, JJ pulled out some brass knuckles. He went to hit Kurt who deflected the blow
that sent the brass knucks flying. Kurt
hits a DDT and JJ actually impacted the very weapon he tried to use
earlier. Kurt makes the cover and gets
the 1-2-3 and then starts to climb the cage.
JJ shakes it off and follows Kurt.
The two battle at the top of the cage and Kurt headbutts JJ who falls
back into the ring. Kurt goes over the
top and drops to the floor winning the match. Kurt wins and JJ ends up leaving disappointed.
As
Kurt was getting ready to leave, the Bat signal shines on the floor in front of
him and the Caped Crusader repels down.
CC says that he’s proud Kurt did not resort to illegal tactics but used
his Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence to win. Kurt says he now understands what CC was
trying to do for him and shakes his hand in thanks. The two then part – Kurt heading up the ramp
and is cheered by the fans and CC repelling back up to the rafters. (20
min for the match; 25 for the whole segment).
In
the back, #CJ just got done watching the Rock make a mockery of him (and the
fans LOVED it) and he mutters to himself “pebble wants a piece of me…he’ll get
more than he can handle.”
It
is time for the main event. Brock Lesnar
is taking on Sting for the Intercontinental title in a steel cage. GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that
this will be one fall…to the end. He is
also removing the time limit so there is no cap on this one. This one was nothing short of a
sloberknocker. Both men put their
hearts, souls, blood, sweat and tears (maybe not from the Beast
Incarnate). Ref’s had to change 3 times
in this match as one would get knocked out and needed a replacement. Brock and Sting fought a war over this title and
potentially another shot at the World title.
The cage was used by both as a nasty weapon and by the 15th
minute in the match, both were wearing crimson masks. At the 23rd minute, Brock nails an
F-5 but Sting somehow kicked out. 2
minutes later, Sting hits Brock with a Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) and
score the 1-2-3 but he has to get out of the ring. He crawls to the cage wall and starts to
slowly make his way up. Brock recovers and has just enough in the tank to stop
him. Brock pulls him off the cage wall
and nails a powerbomb. Sting finds the
chain that was brought out during the Kurt/JJ match and blasted Brock with
it. He then locked Brock in an abdominal
stretch but Brock powered out and nailed a press and slam. Brock makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3. Now it’s his turn to get out. He begins to scale the cage wall as Sting
makes for the door. He sees Sting
getting ready to drop out of the ring when he swings to another cage wall and
kicks the door of the cage right into Sting’s face. Sting falls back in the ring and Brock drops
to the floor. Brock Lesnar retains his
title in an outstanding 5 star match.
Brock makes his way to the back and suits come out and help Sting. Both men got a standing ovation from the
fans. (27 min)
Just
as the show is getting ready to end, Hogan comes back out and re-introduces the
new CSWA World Champion Samoa Joe. Hogan
and Joe goes to the ring to celebrate until… New music hits…AUSTIN ARIES walks
out. ARIES IS BACK!!! HOLY CRAP.
Aries stares at Hogan and Joe as Hulk looks on with his eyes open wide
in surprise as the show comes to an end.
Thanks
for reading. There sure is to be fallout
at the next show so stay tuned.
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