Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
We left off a very valuable piece of information last issue and that was
#CertifiedJabroni was trending worldwide within 30 minutes after the Rock’s
promo. Rumor has it that #CJ was
embarrassed by the Rock that he decided to no-show today’s event.
Our
first match of the night is Jeff Hardy vs. Big E Langston. Both men stayed toe to toe for about 10
minutes but Hardy’s heart just didn’t seem to be in it. Big E then hurled Jeff over the top rope. He followed him to the floor and as Hardy
began to battle back, he jumped on the apron going for a suicide dive but
Langston caught him and powerbombed him on the floor. Big E rolled back in just before the 10 count
but he turned and reprimanded Langston for taking the fight to the floor. This allowed Jeff to regain some composure
and roll back in the ring. Big E
immediately picks him up and hits an over the shoulder gut breaker. He folds Jeff up like a sandwich and gets the
1-2-3. Big E gets the win. After the match, Jeff walked out with his
head low. (12 min)
HWF
GM Max McGillicutty meets with Kurt Angle and welcomes him to the HWF. Angle says he’s pissed off and wants the
Caped Crusader again. Max tells Kurt
that CC has officially hung up the cape and cowl and that he is no longer
around. Kurt says that the Crusader cost
him a really good gig and that he wants to take it out on someone…anyone. Max says ok and books him in a match against
John Cena for the next show. If Cena
loses, he moves to the CSWA.
We
head back to the ring for our next match of Dean Ambrose vs. Alexander Rusev. What was surprising is that Ambrose was NOT
accompanied by his Shield teammates. Ambrose
apparently didn’t need it. He controlled
the match only allowing Rusev limited control.
Finally, Ambrose locked in the Crossface forearms and maneuvered it into
a pin. Ambrose gets the win. Rusev tried to complain that his foot
was under the rope but the ref just
ignored him. (20 min)
Frankie
Kazarian is called into the GM’s office and is told that he will no longer be
teaming with Christopher Daniels.
Daniels is CSWA and Frankie is HWF.
Frankie is not happy about this and wonders where his (now former) tag
team partner is. Max and Hogan say this
is best for business.
The
next match on the card has MVP taking on Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett is beating the holy hell out of MVP
and 8 minutes in, he gets frustrated and walks out. The bell rings awarding Jarrett the count out
win but MVP doesn’t care and keeps walking.
In
the back, Jeff Hardy is seen to be carrying his bags and making his way to the
door. CSWA GM Hulk Hogan asks where he
is going. “I’ve lost my ‘smile’
Hulkster. I have to go find it.” Hogan approaches him and says “Brother, if
you walk out that door, don’t come back.”
Hardy turns to look and Hulk and then leaves the building. I guess that means Jeff Hardy is no longer
employed with the CSWA.
Just
as Hogan is making his way back to his office, he approaches MVP and asks “What
the hell was that, brother? You did not
represent the CSWA. You are an embarrassment.”
MVP then pops Hogan with a right hook and Hogan yells “Brother, you’re
FIRED. Get your CRAP and get out. I never want to see you again.” MVP grabs his stuff (which so happened to be
feet away) and then storms out of the building.
2 down…how many to go? (Doesn’t
this stuff happen in 3’s?)
James
Storm comes out and says that that Bobby Lashley’s win over him was a
fluke. He challenges him to come out and
fight him right now. Storms says if he
doesn’t’ win, he’ll quit. Bobby comes
out for their match. As soon as the bell
rings, Storm grabs a mic and a kendo stick.
“Oh, by the way…anything goes.”
He immediately begins striking Bobby with the kendo stick and Bobby ends
up catching it in mid swing and yanks out of Storm’s hands. He then begins walloping Storm with it. The match goes on for 14 minutes and Bobby
just beat the shit out of Storm. James
almost got lucky when he was using the cane to try and choke out Bobby but
Bobby powered out of it and destroyed Storm with a Dominator. Bobby gets the win and Storm is out of a
job. (there’s #3).
GM
Hulk Hogan comes out and says there will be 2 battle royals (one tonight and
one the following show) where the winners of each will square off at Payback to
crown a new CSWA World Champion…Brother.
Next
up is Bo Dallas taking on ‘Main Event’ Buff Austin. In 21 minutes, Bo gets the win after pinning
Austin with a full arm drag and twist.
After the match, Austin beat Bo down dropping him with the 5 point palm
explosion. He leaves Bo moaning in pain
behind in the ring. Bo is helped to the
back.
Frankie
Kazarian is sitting in the back just stewing.
Different people walk by to say ‘hey’ but he just ignores them.
Next
on the card is Bram taking on Heath Slater.
In crushing fashion, Bram gets the win after incapacitating Slater with
a vertical suplex. (13 min)
Bo
Dallas is walking out to the parking garage and sees a Bugatti Veyron (we’re
sure it’s a rental) being used by Wade Barrett and Jack Swagger. Bo, in his excitement of seeing such a unique
vehicle, scratches the car accidentally.
Wade Barrett and Jack Swagger threaten to rip him limb from limb. GM Max McGillicutty witnesses this and
Barrett and Swagger say they want him in a handicap match. Max says it will be handicap unless Bo can
find himself a willing partner. Bo runs
off looking for someone to have his back. (good luck)
Samoa
Joe is in the ring and calls out Kevin Owens.
Joe tells Kevin to stop looking for him as he is right here. If he wants Joe, come get Joe. Owens runs down and the two begin to
brawl. The ref rings the bell and we
have ourselves a match. This is the
shortest match of the night and was the most even. Blow for blow, the two stood their
ground. Just past the 5 min mark, Joe
and Kevin are fighting on the outside of the ring. Joe whips Kevin into the ringside barrier
(CRASH) and then he handcuffs him to the barrier. Joe then nonchalantly rolls back in the ring
resulting in Kevin getting counted out.
The bell rings and the match is over.
(5 ½ min). A ref uncuffs Kevin as
GM Hulk Hogan comes out and says that the two of them need to say right there as
the battle royal is up next.
Bo
Dallas is walking around the back and sees Frankie Kazarian sitting there. Bo asks him if he’d be his tag team partner
against Barrett and Swagger. Kazarian
stares at him and says “Hell no”. Bo
asks again, same response. Bo turns and
sees GM Max McGillicutty walking his way.
He asks a third time but a bit louder.
“Come on, be my partner.” Max
looks over. Frankie stares daggers at
Bo. Bo leans over and whispers “Do you
want me to leave?” Frankie yells “Hell
yes” just as Max is walking by. Max says “Done, you’re a team now.” Bo runs away happy and Max leaves. Frankie looks at the camera and says “What…the…
F…(the
sound went out so we didn’t hear what he was finishing saying).
The
battle royal (to determine the first of those individuals who will be fighting)
for the World title begins. Samoa Joe
and Kevin Owens immediately were eliminated as they fought and fell over the
top rope. After all the “smoke” cleared,
one person was standing tall in the middle of the ring…the Big Show. It came down to Show vs Bram. After delivering a knockout punch that sent
Bram flying (over the top rope), Big Show gets the win and will go on to Payback
to fight someone for the CSWA World title.
That
is all for now. Stay tuned as the action
is really heating up.
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