Hello fans and
welcome back to another installment of HCW’s Phoenix Heat. GM Master Bull decided to mix things up and
took the Heat team on the road heading south to Tucson. The sold out show will be headlined by a
defense of the TV title held by the unscrupulous and devious The Unknown
Assassin who is accompanied by his weasel of a manager ‘the Honorable’ (ha,
that’s a laugh) J C Dykes. Also on the card we will see Biceps Bannerman
and Angry Jack Lawson go toe to toe in a brass knuckles match. Finally, making her way from the Tacoma
roster, Kimberly Kiccsass makes her Heat debut.
All this and more so let’s get this party started.
Pyro goes off to
kick off the show. To kick things off,
Starr Vixen makes her way out and down to the ring. The fans pop for her as she high fives them
and then slides under the bottom rope.
She climbs one of the turnbuckles to a pop from the crowd when the music
changes abruptly and Kimberly Kiccsass makes her way down. The fans boo her only because Starr is a
favorite on this roster. She gets on the
mic and questions “I make the trek all the way from Tacoma to here and THIS is
the best you can offer me? Come
on.” She begins to walk away but Starr
grabs her by the shoulder and whips her around.
She and Kimberly begin to jawjack and before you knew it, punches were
being thrown. The bell rings to kick
this one off. Kimberly kept the lead but
only barely. Starr showed her what it
meant to be a representative of Phoenix Heat.
Starr got a near submission after locking in a scissored armbar but
Kimberly made it to the ropes to break the hold. Starr began an offensive run and Kimberly
started to get a little worried. All of
a sudden, in from the crowd came El Gato Negro and she snuck up to the
ring. Kimberly sequestered the ref and
El Gato pounced attacking Starr and choking her on the top rope. She then delivered a kick to Starr’s head and
she staggered back into the ring. El
Gato took off as Kimberly locked in a dragon sleeper. Trapped in the middle of the ring with
nowhere to go, Starr had to tap out.
Kimberly Kiccsass gets the win in her debut match. She and the ref leave quickly and Starr
questions what just happened. She looked
up at the Omegatron and watched the replay of El Gato attacking her. She started to fume and then powerwalked to
the back. (14 min)
Backstage, Leiton
Snake confronts his brother Niven about what transpired during their 6 man
match. Niven tried to blow him off. Leiton tells him they’re going to settle this
in the ring tonight. Niven scoffs at him
and says “whatever”. This prompts Leiton to attack him and they had to have the
stagehands break things up. Niven says
“You want me in the ring? Fine, you got
it!” He then stormed out.
Our next match is
ready to go. First, Muscles Weasley and
Thorpe come out wearing their rainbow colored bull horns and carrying a box of
Booty-O’s and a plate full of pancakes.
They take their breakfast food to the commentary table. Thorpe begins to chow down on the pancakes
while Weasley eats the cereal right out of the box. After a few bites, they get into the ring and
act all goofy. Next, the Machines (the B
and P Machines) come out to a decent pop from the crowd. The Machines started off strong and more than
held their own against the Muscles duo.
At the 9 minute mark, the B-Machine climbed to the top rope and hit a
moonsault onto Weasley. Thorpe then
grabs him and hurls him out of the ring.
All of a sudden, another masked person wearing the same garb as the
Machines comes out and begins to beat down the B Machine. He drops him with a DDT on the floor. He then climbs over the ringside railing and
hides behind some fans. The B Machine
ends up getting counted out. The Muscles
win the match. I wonder if we’ll ever
find out who that masked man is.
Backstage, the
Banker, the Regulators and Ruth Heartless are being interviewed. The Banker says he’s taking the night off so
the Regulators get to take on the Hubers.
Regulator Mammoth says they will break the Hubers and throw them in the
dung heap. Regulator Mule says that in
addition to the Six Man titles, they will win the Tag Team also and then
Regulation will be the most dominant force in HCW. Ruth asks “Whatcha gonna do? Absolutely nothing!” They all laugh as the segment comes to an
end.
Our grudge match
is up next. First Leiton Snake comes out to a mixed reaction from the
crowd. He gets in the ring and motions
for his opponent to come out. Next, Niven
Snake comes out also to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Niven was carrying a bigger grudge so he took
the match to his brother but Leiton hung in there with strategic strikes. The two kept slugging it out and the fans
popped for each big move. Just as the
time limit was nearing, Niven hits a tilt-a-whirl slam but Leiton hit a
pedigree facebuster. Leiton then picked
Niven up and hurled him hard into the corner.
Niven crashed chest first and then fell back into the ring. Leiton made the cover and got the 1-2-3. Leiton gets the win and the crowd pops. He goes over to help Niven to his feet and
his hand is brushed away. Niven is not
happy. Leiton tries to reason with him
but Niven sucker punches him and walks away.
Leiton, pissed, goes after him.
(19 min)
Angry Jack Lawson
is backstage and he says he can’t believe he’s still dealing with the schmuck
Bannerman. Tonight he will knock him out
and that will be it.
First, Butch and
Ferb Huber come out to a so-so reaction from the crowd. Next, Ruth Heartless comes out and leads the
Regulators (Mammoth and Mule) to the ring and the fans boo them. They do their best to ignore them. Ruth directs them to attack the Hubers before
the bell. Once the ref regained control
of the match, he signaled for the match to officially begin. It seemed like the attack didn’t do anything
as the Huber totally owned them. In
fact, for the first 16 minutes of the match, the Huber’s decimated the
Regulators. Finally, Ruth got involved
and that got her team motivated. The
Regulators then took the fight to their opponents and it looked like they were
going to score the win but the Huber’s kept tagging in/out preventing a
pin. Just as the time was getting close
to the end, Regulator Mule hit a DDT but just as he was going for the pin, the
bell rang bringing this one to a draw finish. The Regulators were not happy as
this prevented them from moving up in the tag team rankings. Oh well, that’s
how things go. (30 min draw)
Biceps Bannerman
is backstage and he says that Angry Jack has some serious issues and maybe
needs to have his head examined. He says
a brass knuckles rules match is brutal but he’s confident he’ll put a damper on
that anger of Jack’s.
Our brass knuckles
match is up next. Angry Jack Lawson comes
out first and he is booed. He flips off
the fans as he makes his way down to the ring. Next, Biceps Bannerman comes out
and the fans pop huge for him. The two
beat the holy hell out of each other and used the brass knuckles but didn’t do
much in the way of any serious damage.
As we entered the the 13th minute of the match, things got
interesting.
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
Biceps
Bannerman rolled DC
Angry Jack
Lawson rolled OC.
Angry Jack
Lawson executes a FACE RAKE....
Biceps Bannerman
reverses FACE RAKE!
Biceps
Bannerman executes a BRASS KNUCKLE TO FACE....Angry Jack is busted open!
Angry Jack
Lawson attempts to defend against BRASS KNUCKLE TO FACE but is unsuccessful.
Biceps
Bannerman is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Angry Jack
Lawson was pinned by Biceps Bannerman!!!
Biceps Bannerman wins with a BRASS KNUCKLE TO FACE over Angry Jack Lawson!!!
Biceps Bannerman
gets the win much to the delight of the fans.
A bloodied up Lawson attacked Biceps from behind and began pummeling him
with the brass knuckles also drawing a crimson mask. The ref and a bunch of backstage hands got
Jack off of Biceps and directed him to the back. Biceps had to be helped up and assisted to
the back. I guess nothing was settled
here.
King Rad Gumbo
goes to a baseball game in Phoenix and is leery that Buzz Steel may be lurking
somewhere but as he makes it to the 7th inning stretch, he decides
to go hit the head. Turns out, Buzz is
indeed there standing at the drinking fountain and denies Rad access to the
bathroom. “Come on…” Gumbo complains.
Buzz says “Nope but there is one on the other side of stadium. Best get a movin’ before something unpleasant
happens.” Gumbo gets right up to the 100
foot mark. “Are you threatening me you
gimp?” Buzz smiles. “Of course not but
with all that beer you had to drink, I’d think that bladder of yours would be
mighty full.” Buzz moves ever so
slightly and then pushes the button on the water fountain. With the water running freely, Rad started to
tense up and then started to scurry off.
Buzz gets another good laugh.
It’s time for our
main event. First, Muscles McGuire comes
out wearing his rainbow colored bull horns and carrying his box of Booty-O’s.
The fans pop as he enters the ring. He runs
around a bit before his music is abruptly cut off and out comes manager ‘the
Honorable’ J C Dykes and the TV champion the Unknown Assassin. The duo are booed as they head to the
ring. The Unknown Assassin hits the ring
and attacks McGuire. The bell then rings
officially starting this one off. The
first two minutes of the match were relatively calm but then Dykes interfered and
things just blew up from there. UA beat
the holy hell out of McGuire to the point the poor guy never really had a
chance. Dykes made sure that after 10
minutes in, McGuire was fortunate to get in 4 offensive moves. By the time the 19th minute of the
match rolled around, UA has practically massacred his opponent (180 to 85). Dykes signaled to bring it to a close and the
Unknown Assassin picked McGuire up and nailed a piledriver. He made the cover and got the easiest 1-2-3
in the history of pin attempts. The Unknown
Assassin retains his title.
The show comes to
a conclusion as Dykes and UA bask in the moment that is their title win all the
while the fans throw garbage at them in the ring.
Thanks for
reading. Stay tuned as things heat up
for our PPV.
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