Sunday, June 3, 2018

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2018 #682 – Tacoma Thunder


Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of HCW’s Tacoma Thunder show.  Just as pyro goes off kicking off today’s show, we are interrupted by “Gumbo 7:30 says its suppa time, bitch” and out comes our new (God help us all) interim World Champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ King Rad Gumbo.  Gumbo comes out on stage with Queen Alexandria and the two mockingly wave to the crowd which just riles them up all the more.  Gumbo has a mic and says that a new era has begun that doesn’t involve anyone with the last name Steel.  He laughs.  This “standby” title is just a holding spot until the coward Buzz Steel puts away his walker and meets him in the ring and this time, without any outside interference, he will take what is rightly his and will be the undisputed World Champion.  He is then interrupted by GM Max McGillicutty much to the fan’s delight.  Max tells Gumbo that as a world champion, he has to show that he’s above all pettiness and should be on his best behavior especially here, in Tacoma, WA. (pop from the crowd) Gumbo compares the entire Tacoma roster to dumpster divers (man, that lit the fans up pretty good).  Gumbo then says that he’s done said what he needed to and now he’s going to take a shower to wash off the stench.  (Man, this guy better watch himself of there may be a lynching in the parking lot). Gumbo leaves and Max tells us that we are starting off the show tonight with a battle royal that does not include anyone wrestling in an official match this evening.  The winner of that battle royal will get the first shot at Gumbo’s title.  He says that will begin now.

The men’s roster (not involved in a match later on) filed out and headed to the ring.  The battle royal began and immediately people went flying over the top rope to the floor.  The ones doing the most eliminations were the Axe and his tag team partner TNT.  It finally came down to the final 3 which included Axe, TNT and Perfect Pecs Stoddard.  Stoddard sent TNT through the ropes crashing into the steel post.  He fell out of the ring but since he didn’t go over the top, he’s not eliminated.  Axe almost had Pecs eliminated but he was able to hang on.   Axe then got Pecs tied up in the ropes and then went to the other side of the ring and rushed looking to connect with the Axe.  Pecs moved as the last second and sent Axe flying out of the ring and crashing to the floor…eliminated.  Pecs began to celebrate but then realized that TNT hadn’t been eliminated yet.  He exited through the middle rope as to not disqualify himself and grabbed TNT and brought him back into the ring.   Pecs called for a Celtic kick but TNT ducked and picked him up in a fireman’s carry and dumped him over the top rope.  Pecs hit the floor with a resounding crash.  TNT gets the win and will be the first person to challenge Gumbo for his belt.  (30 min)

We go backstage and King Rad Gumbo is taunting the roster about to incite a riot.  World Champion Buzz Steel just so happens to be there and confronts his royal pain in the ass-ness.  Gumbo calls Buzz a “gimp” and feigns wiping tears out of his eyes calling Buzz a “sorry excuse for a human being”.  Rad tells him that he will be Buzz’s worst nightmare and everywhere Buzz goes, he will have to look over his shoulder because he’ll never know when the Ragin Cajun will strike.  He laughs and walks off.  Buzz’s brother Starbuck just so happened to be there also and says it sounded like Buzz threatened him.  Buzz smiles and says he has an idea and tells ‘Buck to follow him.  The brothers walk off in the direction of the GM’s office.

Pyro goes off and our first match begins with “Born in the USA” playing and out comes Dude USA Mick Rude. Rude makes his way down to the ring high fiving the fans.  He gets into the ring and an explosion abruptly ends the music and out comes Bob ‘Powder’ Keg.  Keg is booed all the way down to the ring.  Keg feigns an early attack but then backs off waiting for the bell to ring. Rude was able to control the tempo of the entire match until the last few minutes.  Keg caught Rude with a powerslam and Rude seemed to be hurt.  Then, Keg began putting the heavy boots to Mick and then seemed to bust him open the hard way.  Keg pulled Rude to his feet but he seemed he could barely stand.  Keg picked him up and hit another powerslam.  He didn’t need to hook the leg as Rude was not kicking out of anything.  Bob Keg gets the win.  He celebrates briefly before leaving.  Medics were called out and they took Dude USA out on a stretcher.  The fans looked on in concern.  (19 min)

We head backstage where we see Hardcore Hensen and Magnum Kone fighting backstage.  Nix Anderson joins in the fray but the double team is short lived as Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister joins in and evens the odds.  Anderson cursed at Davis for sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong.  Davis threw out a challenge with him and Magnum taking on Hensen and Anderson.  Hardcore was quick to accept.  The two teams were separated and I guess we got ourselves another match for tonight.

We head to the ring again for 6 man tag team action.   First, Ant Graham walks out just as “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYONE” blares through the loudspeakers and he is followed out by Graham’s Ghouls – Dr. Red Fang, Mason the Mangler and Wolfman Keg.  The dastardly trio make their way to the ring amidst booing from the fans.  Next, Ovaltine Jackson and Ghee Buttersnaps come out to a huge pop from the crowd.  They wait for the 3rd member of their team and joining them is Jesse California.  Ovaltine and Ghee don’t seem to trust Jesse but they head collectively down to the ring.  Once in the ring, the Ghouls attack Ghee to start things off.  Quick tags with Ovaltine and Jesse kept the damage to a minimum.  Graham managed to slip a foreign object to Wolfman Keg when he was in the ring.  After Jesse got the hot tag from Ovaltine, he started to showboat a bit not paying attention.  He turned around only to get blasted with the object Keg had in his hand.  He quickly discarded it and then viciously eye raked Jesse before rolling him up for the 1-2-3.  The Ghouls get the win but leave without much showboating.  Jesse then began to lambast Ghee and Ovaltine for not making the save.   He hits Ovaltine with a standing drop kick and then drops Ghee with a Famouser Leg drop bulldog.  He looks on in disgust and walks out on his team leaving Ghee and Ovaltine down in the ring.  He is booed all the way to the back but he doesn’t care.  (10 min)

Phoenix roster member Scooter J is in the locker room reading a wrestling magazine.  He makes out-loud comments about it like “Really” and “No Way”. Finally, he throws the magazine down and as he walks out of the locker room.  On his way out, he shoulder blocks his former teammate the Axe, who watches him walk off.   Axe sees the magazine and picks it up. After glancing at it, he looks back to the door with a quizzical look on his face.

Drew is backstage with Jacques and says he’s not sure Jacques is ready for someone the caliber of Ice Dagger.  Jacques tells him he’s ready.  “Don’t you trust me?” Jacques asks.  “Of course but just watch out for him.  Dagger can be a crafty individual.”  “I’ve got this Drew.  You taught me well.  Tonight, I prove it.”

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, manager ‘The Singapore Sensation’ Matt Preacher comes out and he introduces HARDCORE HENSEN and Nix Anderson.  The trio are booed as Matt holds up one of each of their arms and then they head to the ring.  Next, we hear the all-to-familiar sound of an ice cream truck bell and out comes ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone and his tag team partner of the night Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister.  The duo head to the ring.  Davis climbs up on the apron but doesn’t enter.  He waits for Magnum to finish distributing ice cream to the fans at ringside.  Once completed, the two of them enter the ring.  The match began and to everyone’s surprise, the team of Magnum and Davis was a perfect pairing.  The duo used quick tags to keep Nix and Hensen on the defensive.  Matt Preacher got involved a few times but it didn’t seem to help that much.  We now join the match at the 11 minute mark.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Nix Anderson rolled OC/TT

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

Nix Anderson,  HARDCORE HENSEN double teaming for 1 rounds.

Nix Anderson is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Nix Anderson executes a VICIOUS EYERAKE ....

HARDCORE HENSEN is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

HARDCORE HENSEN executes a HARD TIMES....

Magnum Kone executes a ICE CREAM SANDWICH (SPLASH)....


===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

Magnum Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....

Nix Anderson absorbs the punishment.

Magnum Kone tags out to Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister


===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Nix Anderson rolled DC

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a ROUNDHOUSE KICK....

Nix Anderson attempts to defend against ROUNDHOUSE KICK but is unsuccessful.

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister attempts to retaliate against "The Singapore Sensation" Matt Preacher!!!

"The Singapore Sensation" Matt Preacher is attacked by Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister and is unavailable for 8 rounds!!!

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Nix Anderson was pinned by Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister!!!

Davis "the Hoff" Hoffmeister and Magnum Kone win with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK over Nix Anderson!!!

Magnum and Davis get the win.  As they are celebrating, Nix and Hensen attack them both beating them down.  Nix drops Davis with the Nixinator and Hensen dropped Magnum with the Hard Times.  Preacher and his team stood victorious over the crumpled forms of Magnum and Davis and the trio left without further incident. 

Back in the locker room, the Axe has finished changing as Scooter J re-enters.  The Axe makes a show of closing his locker as a card falls out, then starts to leave.  SJ picks up the card, it reads ' don't be a jerk'’.  SJ confronts the Axe. "So you think I'm a jerk?"  Axe responds “I saw the magazine. If that is something you really want, have some redeeming qualities first.”  Axe then walks off with Scooter J pondering what to do next.

The Duchess is backstage with Lady Hermann and says she can’t believe the two of them lost to the newbies.  Tonight, that changes.  The Duchess says she’s turning up the heat and will show ‘the Zombie Rose’ what it means to tangle with the best.

Back the ring, our next match is ready to begin.  First, the Duchess and Lady Hermann make their way out to booing from the fans.  The Duchess takes the time to flip off those who boo her (editor’s note:  it’s a LOT).  Once in the ring, music changes and out comes Vanilla Zombie and Ruby Rose.  The fans pop and we notice that the once small gathering of people wearing zombie-like makeup has grown exponentially.  There are now at least 100 people there wearing the makeup.  Vanilla tilts her head giving them a quizzical look.  Before she turned, you could see an ever so slight smile cross her lips.   Ruby and Vanilla enter the ring but are immediately attacked by the Duchess and Lady Hermann.  The Duchess pulls Vanilla to the corner and wraps her arm around the steel post.  Vanilla looks to be in a lot of pain. The ref finally gets order restored and officially kicks this one off.  The Duchess immediately grabs Vanilla and locks in the All Hail her Majesty.  Vanilla, to her credit, held in there are long as she could but ended up tapping out.  The Duchess and Lady Hermann get the win in just under a minute.  The Duchess and Lady Hermann leave as the Duchess points to her head showing she outsmarted the two of them and the crowd boos them pretty heavily.  Ruby goes to check on Vanilla and ends up helping her to the back.

Madame Jade is backstage and she says that she got duped into putting her career on the line tonight.  She says that she had a great run but that this was only the beginning.  She has no intention of losing tonight and expects to walk out with the championship. 

Backstage, Scooter J is still lurking around and confronts his former teammate TNT challenging him to a match in Phoenix.  TNT accepts.

Next up, we have Jacques Beannot coming out to a pop from the crowd.  He makes a beeline for the ring and slides under the bottom rope.  His opponent’s music hits and “Ice Dagger Baby” (a bad rip off of Ice Ice Baby) plays through the loudspeakers as Ice Dagger makes his way to the ring.  The fans boo him as he takes his sweet time entering the ring.  As soon as the bell rang, Jacques was the aggressor and took the fight to the unsuspecting Ice Dagger.  Jacques controlled the match barely letting ID get any offense in.   After a few minutes, Jacques hits the Spreadsheet but doesn’t go for the pin.  Instead, he climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for ID to struggle to his feet.  He then launches connecting with a flying body and connecting.  He hooks the leg and gets the 3 count.  Jacques gets the win and moves up in the rankings while Ice Dagger drops.  (7 min)

Backstage in the GM’s office and after a lengthy conversation with Max, Buzz is granted a restraining order against King Rad Gumbo that says that Rad cannot get within 100 feet.  Buzz and Starbuck shake hands with the GM and then leave.

Ladies Champion Candice Charisma is pacing.  She looks to the camera and reminds Jade that no one can beat her…not the Duchess and not Ravishing Raquel.  Those two were supposed to be the best in the business and where are they now…at the bottom while she sits at the top.  Candice says that Jade is not in her level and that tonight, Jade’s final match in HCW will be a pathetic loss.  She tells Jade that no one will remember her after she’s gone while Candice will be here…forever.

It’s time for the MAIN EVENT!  This will be a title vs career match.  First, the challenger Madame Jade comes out and the fans pop crazy for her.  She takes the time to shake the hands with the fans at ringside before getting into the ring.  Next, the music changes and out comes the Ladies Champion Candice Charisma.  The fans boo her louder than anything we’ve heard all night.   The referee announces that Jade can only lose by pin or submission.  Since this will be a no DQ/no Count out match, if this goes to the time limit, Jade will be safe.  Candice goes over to the ref and slips him what looks to be like a wad of cash.  Hang on, I think she’s bribing the ref to fast count for her. 

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled DC

Both Women in rolled DC

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) executes a VICIOUS UPPERCUT....

Candice Charisma (f) absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) executes a HEADLOCK....

Candice Charisma (f) reverses HEADLOCK!

Candice Charisma (f) executes a LEGSWEEP....

Madame Jade (f) absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) executes a VICIOUS UPPERCUT....

Candice Charisma (f) absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled DC

Candice Charisma (f) executes a DIVING CROSSBODY....

Madame Jade (f) absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC/TT

Candice Charisma (f) executes a DIVING CROSSBODY....

Madame Jade (f) executes a HEADLOCK....


===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a LEGSWEEP....

Madame Jade (f) executes a FLYING DROPKICK....


===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled DC

Candice Charisma (f) executes a TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS....

Madame Jade (f) attempts to defend against TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled DC

Candice Charisma (f) executes a TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS....

Madame Jade (f) absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a ELBOW DROP....

Madame Jade (f) executes a FLYING DROPKICK....


===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a DIVING CROSSBODY....

Madame Jade (f) executes a DROPKICK FROM THE TOP ROPE....


===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) executes a FLYING DROPKICK....

Candice Charisma (f) attempts to defend against FLYING DROPKICK but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC/TT

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a DIVING CROSSBODY....

Madame Jade (f) executes a DRAG FACE ON RINGROPE....


===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) executes a HEAD SMASH INTO CORNER....

Candice Charisma (f) absorbs the punishment.


===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled DC

Both Women in rolled DC

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a NA....

Madame Jade (f) executes a JADE BREAKER....

Madame Jade (f) straps in the JADE BREAKER.

Candice Charisma (f) does not submit!


===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) executes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX....

Candice Charisma (f) attempts to defend against SLINGSHOT SUPLEX but is unsuccessful.

Madame Jade (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Candice Charisma (f) kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled DC

Both Women in rolled DC

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) executes a DRAG FACE ON RINGROPE....

Candice Charisma (f) absorbs the punishment.

Madame Jade (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Candice Charisma (f) kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC/TT

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a ELBOW DROP....

Madame Jade (f) executes a DRAG FACE ON RINGROPE....


===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a ELBOW DROP....

Madame Jade (f) executes a DRAG FACE ON RINGROPE....


===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS....

Madame Jade (f) executes a DRAG FACE ON RINGROPE....


===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC.

Madame Jade (f) rolled DC

Candice Charisma (f) executes a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX....

Madame Jade (f) attempts to defend against NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX but is unsuccessful.


===== In the 21st minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC/TT

Madame Jade (f) executes a ARM DRAG TAKE DOWN....

Candice Charisma (f) absorbs the punishment.

Madame Jade (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Candice Charisma (f) kicks out of the pin!


===== In the 22nd minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled OC/TT

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC.

Candice Charisma (f) executes a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX....

Madame Jade (f) executes a HEADLOCK....


===== In the 23rd minute of the match: =====

Candice Charisma (f) rolled DC

Madame Jade (f) rolled OC/TT

Madame Jade (f) executes a HEAD SMASH INTO CORNER....

Candice Charisma (f) attempts to defend against HEAD SMASH INTO CORNER but is unsuccessful.

Madame Jade (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Candice Charisma (f) was pinned by Madame Jade (f)!!!


Madame Jade (f) wins with a HEAD SMASH INTO CORNER over Candice Charisma (f)!!!


Madame Jade gets the win and becomes the NEW LADIES CHAMPION.  She celebrates in the ring as balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling.  She climbs each of the turnbuckles to pops from the crowd and the show comes to an end with her hugging her title in the middle of the ring. 

Stay tuned.  Much more to come.

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