Hello fans and
welcome back to our newsletter. We are
coming to you LIVE from Starcade in merry ol’ London, England. Wembley Stadium is packed to the rafters. This place is literally busting at the
seams. I can tell you the fans here are
electric. Although we haven’t seen them
yet, rumor has it that the ROYAL Family is in attendance. The buzz that is going on here – you can feel
it down into your bones. It’s very
exciting. Pyro starts to go off and with
that, the show begins.
GM Hulk Hogan makes
his way to the stage. “Hello London Brothers.
The Hulkster is in the HOUSE.”
The fans pop and it takes almost a full minute before he can continue. “The HWF and CSWA are proud to bring you
STARCADE. We will have 3 full days of
action and I can promise you that no one is going to leave disappointed. Each and every on-staff performer will be
putting on a show like none other. I
invite you to sit back and enjoy the show.
WHATCHA GONNA DO, LONDON, WHEN THE HWF, CSWA AND HULKAMANAIA RUN WILD ON
YOU?” The fans pop again and we are
ready for our first match of the evening.
The first event is
going to be our Battle Royal where the winner will receive a future title shot.
Participants include Bo Dallas, the Caped Crusader, David Otunga, Ethan Carter
III, Kevin Steen, Jack Swagger, Kazarian, Malo Leche de Mantequilla, Mike
Bennett, Robbie E, Rob Terry, Rockstar Spud, Tyson Kidd, Xavier Woods, Big E
Langston, Christian, Christopher Daniels, Curtis Axel, Dean Ambrose, Epico
Colon, Eric Young, Heath Slater, Jeff Hardy, Jey & Jimmy Uso, Ken Anderson,
Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, Primo Colon, Prince Devitt, Roderick Strong, Sami
Zayn, Seth Rollins, Tajiri, Tyler Breeze and Zack Ryder. But wait, there is one person missing. Yep, there he is…Droopy Balls McShonnessay. The double ring is set up but just before it
can begin, new music hits. “BREAK THE
WALLS DOWN” blares and out comes Chris Jericho.
“Welcome to London…is…Jericho. I
know I needed time off but I could not pass at making a contribution to our
first ever overseas PPV. Now that I’m
here, we can get started.” The bell
rang.
The eliminations
began almost immediately and within the first 5 minutes, over half had been
eliminated. The surprise elimination of the night is Droopy Balls McShonnessay eliminating
Malo Leche de Mantequilla. The
eliminations continued until there were 4 left…Mark Henry, Chris Jericho,
Christopher Daniels and Curtis Axel.
(side note Tyler Breeze eliminated quite a few people). Chris Jericho laid the chops on Henry and Mark
got eliminated. After a strong run of
his own, Curtis Axel is suplexed outside the ring and is eliminated. Jericho and Daniels put on a 5 star match
that was practically even through their battle.
Jericho had been doing a lot of back damage to Daniels so when the
Fallen Angle went for a dropkick, Jericho caught him mid-air and dropped him
into the Walls of Jericho. Chris locked
Daniels in the middle of the ring but then slingshotted him right out of the
ring for the win. Chris Jericho is the
winner of the Battle Royal.
We head to the
back where Senor Vampiro is pacing. He
says that tonight, El Chango will feel the pain that comes from barb wire. El Chango will suffer like none other and
tonight, win or lose, this is their final battle.
We go back to the
ring for our next match with Prestige Inc. members King Damian Sandow and
Magnus taking on Goldust and Stardust.
The Dust Brothers have been trying to bring back the ferocity that
Prestige Inc of old had and in this match, I think they succeeded. Prestige turned on the heat and really beat
the pants off the Dust Brothers. In 15
minutes, Goldust is pinned after King Damian hits him with a spinning elbow
drop. His lordship is cheered by the
fans and he and Magnus celebrate in the ring as the Dust Boys sulk to the back.
Alexander Rusev is
backstage and as soon as he shows up on the Omegatron, the entire stadium boos
him. “You English dogs…you are just as
bad as the American dogs. I will destroy
the Olympic champion Kurt Angle and will take his title to Mother Russia where
President Putin will bestow on me the greatest of honors. This I promise you.” We couldn’t hear much after that as the fans
were so loud, they drowned him out.
We go back to the
ring for our first title match of the night.
Casey Jones is defending the X-Division title against Adam Rose. About 6 ½ minutes in, Adam Rose is on the
outside of the ring and Tyler Breeze jumps in from the crowd and drops Rose
resulting in a countout. Tyler gets on
the mic and tells Casey Jones that he was defending the title against the wrong
person (meaning Rose never deserved it) and he wants the shot now. However, Breeze says that Casey wins a lot of
his matches by countout so he wants their match to be no DQ/CO. Hulk Hogan comes out and says that Breeze is
on the CSWA roster, not the HWF. Hogan
asks Tyler if he is willing to forgo a future US title shot to move rosters.
Tyler says yes. Hogan makes the move
official and we have our next match.
Casey Jones vs
Tyler Breeze for the X-Division title went 17 minutes and Casey was not
prepared for the onslaught that followed.
Casey fought back but Tyler was uber-determined that tonight is his
night. Tyler catches Casey with an
Implant DDT and 3 seconds later, we have a NEW X-DIVISON CHAMPION. Tyler takes the belt, poses for a few moments
and then leaves. Casey is helped up and
out of the ring.
CSWA World
Champion Kurt Angle is in the back. He
says that he is looking forward to fighting Bray Wyatt for the Undisputed
title; a title he hasn’t held in a very long time but he is not looking past
Alexander Rusev. Once Rusev is taken
care of (It’s True, it’s DAMN true), Angle will look to his next fight.
We go back to the
ring for our next title shot. The North
American Champion Big Show vs Ryback is a rematch for the title. Ryback is accompanied to the ring by Shield
teammates Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins.
Big Show is looking worried.
Ambrose and Rollins jump Big Show before the bell rings but Show shrugs
them off and nails both with knockout punches.
The ref then sends them to the back and now Ryback is looking
worried. The champ showed why he was
able to defeat Ryback the first time and had little issue doing it again. Big Show retains the title after nailing a
chokeslam and then stands tall with his foot on Ryback as the 1-2-3 is
counted. Big Show celebrates his win.
We cut backstage
to an altercation transpiring. Tyler Breeze is flaunting his win saying that
there was no way Casey jones would win once the CO stipulation is removed. Casey walks into the dressing room and Tyler
gets in his face saying “this is the guy who ended your streak…no FanBrongo or
whatever his name was. Me…Tyler
Breeze. Remember that name.” It looked like the fight was going to
continue but then #ConanJones walked in and got Casey out of there before
anything else could go down.
Back in the ring,
the barbwire cage is being put together. This is a nasty way of ending ones
feud/career. The structure is very
unforgiving and we can promise you, blood will be spilt tonight. El Chango comes out first and climbs into the
structure. Before Senor Vampiro makes
his way out, the lights go off and a spotlight shines in the center of the
ring…like the bat symbol but it’s not a bat…its…a….STACHE. El Chango looks on in confusion. Senor Vampiro comes out and now it’s on like
Donkey Kong…or is it. El Chango starts
right off with an eye rake and a shooting star press and PINS Senor Vampiro in
the ring. He carefully climbs out of the
cage and is victorious. All this in
under a minute. Senor Vampiro is not
happy. El Chango tries to run but
Vampiro catches up to him. He whips him
into the barbwire structure and El Chango is bleeding. Vampiro drags him back into the ring and
proceeds to wrap him in barb wire. He
then hits him with a barbwire bat, a barbwire steel chair and a barbwire kendo
stick. By now, El Chango is bleeding profusely.
Vampiro nails a 3 inch punch that drops El Chango. He then hits the 5 point palm explosion and
El Chango is out. Senor Vampiro,
satisfied with his revenge, leaves the bloody mess that is El Chango
behind. El Chango is helped out of the
ring by medics…Hey, that’s odd…one of the medics is wearing a mask. Why is a
medic wearing a mask. He turns and…Holy
Cow…is that…The STACHE? He helps take El
Chango to the back.
As the ring is
being cleaned and that abomination of a structure is being dismantled, we cut
to the back for two separate interviews.
One is by Sting. Sting is happy
to be in London and knows that a title match could be in his future, but that
means a loss has to be in Randy Orton’s.
Sting says he has one good solid run left in him and he will go out on
top.
We cut to another
interview area where Randy Orton is being interviewed. Orton says he keeps getting passed up for
title shots even though he is the only man capable of being the ‘face’ of any
organization. He wants, nay, deserves a
title shot and if that means he goes through Sting, then so be it. You can take it to the bank that Orton will
have gold in his future.
The ring is
cleaned up and we are ready for our next title match which is the Six Man Tag
Team Champions the A-Team taking on Jay Lethal, Kenta and Sanada for the titles. The A-team brought the A-game but it wasn’t
enough to get a 3 count. Abyss, Cesaro
and Aries all hit their ending moves but the quick work of their opponents kept
them still in the game. Just as the 30
minute time limit bell rang, Cesaro hits a cradle facebuster and we think he’s
got it but when the ref counted to 2, the bell rang signaling a time limit
draw. Lethal and the Asian Exchange could be in line
for a future rematch.
GM Hulk Hogan says
that so far, he’s extremely pleased and impressed by these wrestlers. He says that Sting vs Orton is pivotal but
Angle has so much more on the line than just the title. He is representing all of America and he will
have his hands full. Hogan says that he
will have a special surprise for Kurt Angle.
We go to the ring
for the first of our two main events.
First, out comes Randy Orton.
Orton is getting booed as he makes his way to the ring. He is then
followed by the ICON – Sting. Sting gets
one of the best pops of the night. The
two men meet in the ring and are staring nose to nose. The bell rings and we are off. This one was nothing short of a good ol’
fashioned fight. Orton nailed an RKO
right off the bat but could not keep the Stinger down. Sting battled back and got Orton into the
Scorpion death lock. Orton, screaming in
pain, somehow made it to the ropes but his back was never the same after
that. Sting got Orton up to the top
turnbuckle and then nailed a side slam down to the mat. Orton was squirming in pain. Sting made the cover and got the 1-2-3. Sting defeated Randy Orton in 12 minutes to
win a future title shot.
It is time for the
Best of 3 Falls MAIN EVENT. First, the
challenger: hailing from Bulgaria and Russia (he claims to have dual
citizenship now), the Bulgarian Bully Alexander Rusev! Rusev makes his way down to the ring carrying
both the Russian and Bulgarian flag.
Around his neck is a chain and attached to that is an 8x10 of President
Vladimir Putin. The London fans do not
like Rusev and they are sure to make their voices heard. Kurt’s music hits and the CSWA World Champion
makes his way to the ring. He has a
smaller version of the American Flag draped across his shoulders. His pyro goes off and then his music
stops. Hogan comes out and says “This is
for you, brother” and then leaves. All
of a sudden, new music comes on and it is ‘Real American’. Kurt turns to offer the Peace sign to Hogan
and then heads to the ring. The London
fans are 100% behind Kurt. Kurt hands
off the flag and his title. The ref
attaches the Russian chain to Kurt but before it can be attached to Rusev, the
Bulgarian Bully bashes Kurt with the chain.
The ref is trying to get him to back off
but Rusev is relentless. All of a
sudden, the old 60’s Batman music begins to play and out comes the Caped
Crusader. “Rusev, you bully. I told you I would not stand for this and it
appears to me you need to be taught a lesson.
I’ve gotten permission from GM Hulk Hogan to also make this a Lumberjack
style match. Let me introduce you to the
lumberjacks.” All of a sudden 20 people
come out all dressed like the different versions of Batman. There’s the Christian Bale Batman, the
Clooney, Kilmer, Frank Miller’s version, along with a slew of others. “Justice.
We will be here to keep the peace.”
Angle went on the offensive but then so did Rusev. The Batmen on the outside didn’t get
involved; only made sure the fight would be a fair one. After Angle lowered his straps, he turned on
the intensity and then walked right into the Accolade and got pinned in the
middle of the ring in 19 minutes. Angle was busted up. The second fall was all Kurt Angle and after
choking Rusev with the chain, Kurt covered him for the 1-2-3 in 17
minutes. The third fall was the shortest
of them all. Kurt kept the intensity up
and in only 5 minutes, nailed Rusev with the Siberian Husky head smash and
covered him for the pin. Kurt Angle
retains the CSWA World title in a battle from Hell. The ref freed Kurt from the chain and the
Batmen got in the ring and paraded Angle around on their shoulders as confetti
and Real American played again.
That is the end of
Day 1. Stay tuned for more action.
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