Hello fans and
welcome to the first issue of our December newsletter. There is a bunch of stuff going on so we need
to get right into it.
Before the show
began, we see the Fiend walking backstage.
The Miz walks up to him. “You
know, I’m still questioning you beating me fair and square but I’m willing to
put that aside. I wanted to see if you
would be open to being my tag team partner.
I’ve even come up with the perfect name…’the MIZ-fits’.” The Fiend looked at him and responded “Miz, I
did beat you fair and square and I do like the name…the Miz-fits. It, if you will, fits. But I want to make one thing abundantly
clear…I am not YOUR tag team partner; you are MY tag team partner. I have the wrestling acumen and you have the
entertainment value. We will be a good team led by me. I was going to ask GM Hulk Hogan to wrestle a
singles match tonight but the debut of Miz-fits works here. Let’s give the fans a treat.” They shook hands and then headed toward
Hogan’s office.
The arena lights
dim and the Omegatron lights up again.
“The Greatest Staches in History Part 3:
Entertainment” airs.
The montage rolls
and shows the actors/their characters with some of the best Staches ever seen
on TV: Rob Reiner (All in the Family),
“Mr. Kotter” Gabe Kaplan, Geraldo
Rivera, Robert Goulet, Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck, Wilford Brimley, the
Mythbusters very own Jamie Hyneman, and Groucho Marx.
It then slows down
and then highlights Paul Teutul (Orange County Choppers), Chuck Norris, and Sam
Elliott – 3 TV tough guys - 3 tough guy
staches.
The Stache!
Part 4 to come
later in the show.
We head to the
ring for our first match which has the A-Team (Austin Aries, Antonio Cesaro and
Abyss) - the 6 man tag team titles wrestling against The Band – Dirk ‘the Pick’
Devon & the Axe w/ Psycho Jack Hercules in a non-title match. The band had the edge over the champions and
after a low blow delivered by the Pick, Axe nails a forearm uppercut to Cesaro
and then pins him. The challengers have
a win over the champs and that means they could be due for a title shot. Their
victory is short-lived as Roman Reigns runs down with a chair and chases the
Band out of the ring. Reigns says that
he has found the man who will team with him to destroy the Band once and for
all. “And by the way, you may want to
turn around.” They turn around only to
see Bobby Lashley standing right in front of them. Dirk and Axe panic as Lashley closes in and
they throw Psycho Jack in as bait and run for the hills. Lashley swats Psycho Jack out of the way as
if he were a fly. Lashley charges after the
Band and Reigns joins him and they chase Pain in the Ass through the crowd.
Next up is Daniel Bryan
taking on Curtis Axel. The winner of
tonight’s match will team up with Samoa Joe against the US and IC champions in
a winning team takes all. Both men
wrestled fair for a few minutes but it was Axel who attacked an injured Bryan
while he was down. Bryan didn’t take too
well to that and battled back himself.
In the end, after a flying European uppercut nearly takes Axel’s head
off, Bryan makes the cover and gets the pin.
Daniel Bryan is going to Starcade.
In the back, Casey
Jones, while being interviewed, is interrupted by Adam Rose and Adrian
Neville. Rose challenges Jones for the X-Division
title at Starcade. Adrian Neville says
he wants a match and he says he wants the ‘joke’ who takes the name of a
powerful conqueror – The Joke Conan Jones.
GM Hulk Hogan is
in the back talking to Rocky Lapetus.
They are still finalizing the Starcade card. Hogan hopes to announce all the matches in
the next week. Rocky says that “The
Greatest Staches in History” Parts 2 and 3 are already top trends on
Twitter. Hogan scratches his chin and
says “Tell the production team to run it.”
Rocky looks on in befuddlement. “Are
you sure that is wise? Stache doesn’t
start until next year. You don’t want to
oversaturate him with the audience.”
Hogan says “I know my audience and they’ll eat this up. Just you watch, brother.” “Ok” says Rocky. “I’ll let them know.” Rocky leaves the office to go talk to
production.
Fusion Valentine
is in the back and she welcomes the Southern Belle to the team. “You know chica, I think you’ll make a great
addition to our team. In fact, I wanted
to see if you wanted to accompany me to the ring for my match with Madison
Rayne.” “That would be fantastic. Thanks Fusion. You really are a great mentor.” They then head to the ring.
Madison Rayne comes
out first and then is followed by Fusion Valentine and the Southern Belle. Rayne
was counted out in their last encounter and she wanted a rematch. Before the match could begin, Rayne gets on
the mic. “Hey Southern Belle. I, one half of the team known as the
Beautiful People with my tag partner Velvet Sky also wanted to welcome you to
our happy home. However, I see you’ve
been hanging out with, shall we say, questionable people…Fusion Valentine? Really?
Oh and what about our supposed Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel? Really?
Come on sweetheart. You don’t
belong with those dregs; you belong with us – The Beautiful People. We really are the hottest women in the
industry and you should be with us. We
watch each other’s backs and we don’t turn on our friends. So I’m offering you the chance to join with
us. All you have to do is beat up Fusion
Valentine; right here, right now and we’ll make you one of us. What do you say? The fans were telling her “No, don’t join
them” and for a moment, it looked like she was listening to them but then she
took the mic from Madison. “I agree that
I am one of the most beautiful people in this sport but I don’t get to the top
by stepping on my friends. I would join
you but not at the cost of turning on someone.”
Madison started to get angry. “Listen
sister, this is the one and only time you’ll get this offer. Join us or things will get really tough for
you really fast.” Belle then slapped the
SHIT right out of Madison and the fans erupted.
She left the ring and the match began.
A very pissed off
Madison Rayne then took out her frustrations on Fusion Valentine. Belle tried to help Fusion out but it seemed
to do more harm than good. After a 21
minute fight, Belle gets up on the apron but Madison purposefully swung Fusion
right into her knocking her from the apron.
Madison then straps in an MMA style armbar and an exhausted Fusion
Valentine rested for 1 second too long and got pinned. A victorious Madison left with her arms
raised and Belle got in the ring and helped Fusion to her feet and they left
together.
The lights dim
again and “The Greatest Staches in History Part 4 – ‘alternative entertainment’”
airs. That really odd music plays and I
think everyone knows what’s coming.
First it shows former WWF wrestler Val Venis (who’s gimmick was that he
was a porn star) followed by former WCW wrestler Buff Bagwell (who really went
into porn) and last but not least – Ron Jeremy.
It then said “Big Moustaches and that’s not all… The Stache. To be continued.” This vignette was not well received by the
crowd tonight. In fact, if the Stache
had a fan base, he lost it right after this aired. All that work down the toilet.
Hogan, sitting
behind the curtain senses the displeasure from the audience and says they need
to provide some entertainment. “Hey,
someone go get Brock and Droopy Balls.
They’re on next.”
Brock Lesnar comes
out and this time, he’s dragging a kicking and screaming Droopy Balls
McShonnessay behind him. Droopy Balls no
longer wants to be a part of this but Hogan is not letting him out. Brock doesn’t drag this one out very
long. After 8 minutes, the beast
incarnate nails a powerslam and that is all she wrote. Brock just leaves the broken McShonnessay in
the ring to be attended by medics…again.
Brock walks right
up to Hogan and says he’s had enough. He’s
ready for Cena. He walks away before
Hogan can say anything. Rocky Lapetus
walks up and says he has bad news. The
last Stache vignette has all but killed any momentum he could have had building
up to his debut next year. Rocky says
that there are groups all over twitter calling for Hogan’s resignation after
putting that crap out. “Ok” Hogan says, “Damage
control time brother.”
Hogan goes out and
is immediately booed for airing that last vignette. “Listen here.
I made a judgment call and it apparently was the wrong one. Don’t hate on the Stache until he really
gives you a reason to. I apologize on
behalf of the HWF and CSWA for airing that vignette. I promise, brothers, that it won’t happen
again.” The fans start to change their
tune and Hogan leaves.
Our main event of
the evening is the Miz-fits taking on Bram and MVP. I would definitely say that the Miz was the
weak link of his team but neither Bram nor MVP could capitalize on it. As bad of a showing as Miz had, the teamwork
of the Miz-fits kept their challengers frustrated. Finally, a bell rings singnalling a 30 minute
time limit draw. The Fiend is still
undefeated and he and Miz had words but it was quickly cleared up. However,
Bram and MVP argued who was at fault for not scoring the pin. The show ends with those two pointing fingers
at each other.
We expect the
Starcade card (2 days and both are completely sold out) to be announced in the
next newsletter so stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment