Hello fans and
welcome back to our newsletter. Today’s
episode comes from Baltimore, MD. In a
surprising move, GM Hulk Hogan does NOT start off the show. Instead, we are treated to a backstage
event. What we see is someone
approaching a door that has the name “Brock Lesnar” on it. The person puts something on the floor and
knocks. They leave before Brock
answers. He opens the door and curses
when no one is there but he looks down and sees a box. He takes the box with him. The camera man follows him in. Brock opens the box and inside is a DVD. He puts it in the player and what he sees
makes him shake his head in disbelief.
Malo Leche de Mantequilla is being interviewed and he says “Brock Lesnar
is a joke. He may be something in the octagon
but here, in our ring, he’s nothing.
Hell, Bobby Lashley beat the crap out of him and look at where he is
now.” Brock stands up and kicks the DVD
player and the TV. He storms out of the
dressing room. Uh Oh.
We cut to the
ring for our first match. Kevin Steen is
on hand and he is wrestling the Aztec Warrior.
As we mentioned in the past, this guy is a dead ringer for Alberto Del
Rio (who by the way is supposed to be out of the HWF/CSWA). Steen comes out first followed by Aztec
Warrior. As Aztec is making his way down
to the ring, GM Hulk Hogan runs up from behind and yanks off the mask of the
Aztec Warrior revealing him to be Alberto Del Rio. “I KNEW it was you, Del Rio. You are banned from working here. You need to leave right this very minute.” Del Rio yanked the mic from Hogan’s
hand. “You know, Hogan, I could sue you
right now for discrimination and a hostile work environment. You and your A-team – you can all go right to
HELL.” Del Rio storms out and the fans
are applauding his attitude. Hogan can’t
understand the fans reaction so he says “Oh shut the hell up. Send someone else down for this match.” Hogan then leaves.
Hogan makes it
to the back and says that each and every match will be a “drawn at random”
match. He will pick who gets to wrestle
who (as he feels he knows what is best for business).
Prestige Inc.
member King Damian Sandow comes out and says he’ll take the match. The match is dominated by his Royalness and
in 11 minutes, Sandow gets the pin after hitting a swinging neckbreaker.
Next up is a
match for the Intercontinental title held by Dolph Ziggler and he is taking on
Bran-Don-Goh. B comes out and fans are
holding signs that say “I only want to win” (in reference to the last time he
won a title). B put up a hell of a fight
but was no match for the champ. Ziggler
gets the win after hitting the Zig Zag bulldog at the 24 minute mark.
Next up is a 10
man match which puts Hogan’s CWO (Corporate World Order) comprised of the
A-Team (Adam Rose, Austin Aries, Antonio Cesaro & Abyss) plus Dirk “the
Pick” Devon taking on the 719 Cartel comprised of the Mexicali Flyers, World
Tag Champs VamChango and Rey Rey). The
ref said there were too many people for this match so the Flyers and
Abyss/Devon were told to sit this one out.
This of course didn’t keep Abyss from getting involved. El Chango got thrown out of the ring and
Abyss nailed a nasty Black Hole Slam on the concrete. El Chango was not able to beat the count and
the A-Team gets the win in 10 minutes.
The A-Team was
sent away along with Rey Rey and VamChango and that left the Mexicali Flyers to
take on Abyss and Dirk Devon. In 21
minutes, the Flyers did what the other Cartel members could not and that was
get a win. Tornado en Fuego gets the
pin on Dirk after hitting a Dragonscrew leg whip.
In the back,
Samoa Joe and John Cena are having a staredown.
Joe says that the last time they met, it ended way too soon. Cena agreed and offered Joe a rematch at MSG
in New York. Joe accepted. They glared at each other for a moment before
separating.
Jay Lethal comes
out to defend his Hardcore title and his opponent today is Brad Maddox. In 22 minutes, Lethal gets the win via
knockout after Maddox could not get back to his feet after a 10 count. Jay Lethal retains his title.
Goldust w/
Stardust comes out to take on David Otunga.
After taking a beating for 10 minutes, the Golden one battled back and
with some encouraging words from his brother, he gets the win at the 25 minute
mark after hitting Otunga with a golden slam.
Brock Lesnar
makes his way down to the ring with someone slung over his shoulder. Hey, it’s Malo Leche de Mantequilla. Malo got in a little offense but that was
only because Brock felt sorry for him.
Brock basically pummeled Malo for 20 minutes hitting multiple F-5’s,
powerslams and powerbombs. At the 20
minute mark, Brock hits the final powerbomb and mercifully pins Malo. He brushes himself off, wipes the sweat and
blood (Malo’s, not his) from his body, smears it on Malo and leaves. EMT’s are standing by and help Malo out of
the ring and stretcher him to the ambulance waiting in the back.
As the crew
clean the ring from the massacre that just transpired, Prestige Inc. (King
Damian Sandow, Magnus and Reid Rothchild w/Ravishing Raquel) comes down for
their 6 Man tag team title shot against Wyatt’s Warriors (Centurion, Warrior of
Truth and Super Warrior). This match was
basically even for the entire 16 minutes it went on. All men got their chance to shine but it was the
Warrior of Truth who was able to get a pin on Magnus with a sitout gourdbuster. After the match, Rusev and team attack
Prestige Inc and the champs with Rusev hitting haymakers on everyone. Rusev hits a double chokeslam on Super
Warrior and Reid Rothchild at the same time bringing the show to a close.
That’s all for
now. Stay tuned for more action.
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