Saturday, March 1, 2014

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 03.01

Pre-event taped vignette. 

 
Owners Donnie B and Jeff Meyers arrive at the arena and are immediately shown to a room.  The door is closed behind them.  In the room is a TV.  On the tv it says “Turn on”.  It shows Master Bull is standing in a room talking to someone who is off camera.  “Ok, I’ve kept you under wraps now so don’t say anything as I don’t want to blow the surprise.  Just nod.  This is the contract, right?  Ok, let me sign it.”
 

We cut over to Donnie B turns to Jeff and asks “Did he read that contract?”  Jeff replies “I don’t think so.”  Donnie B continues “Uh, oh, this may not be good.  What has Bull gotten himself into?”
 

Cut to the show.
 

Hello fans and welcome to the first newsletter of March.  We are live in Orlando, FL and the show begins with more pyro than we’ve seen in the past.  I wonder if this has to do with Master Bull’s announcement.  Master Bull comes out as the pyro finishes.  “Welcome everyone to the HWF and CSWA show here live in Orlando, Florida.  Tonight’s show will be action packed but before the show begins, I have an announcement of EPIC proportions to make.  After some serious wheeling and dealing, I am proud to announce the first person to receive a Legend’s contract.  What that means is that he or she will be an ambassador to the HWF and CSWA organizations.  It is my pleasure and an honor to introduce our FIRST Legend…..”   The music from “Real American” blares through the arena and everyone is on their feet.  Master Bull finishes “HULK HOGAN!”  He then leaves the stage.

 
The noise is deafening.  Pyro is going off; spotlights are moving all over the stage.  The curtains part and its…hang on…it’s a short person version of Hulk Hogan…Mini Hogan.  Mini Hogan is on the stage flexing his muscles and doing the typical things the adult version does.  The crowd begins to boo as Mini Hogan puts his hand to his ear.  The music then stops.  Mini Hogan is confused.  Voodoo Child from Jimi Hendrix begins to blare and out comes the real deal, the Immortal Hulk Hogan.


Hogan strolls down to the ring and gets inside.  He does the classic Hogan poses (flexing, pointing, hand to the ear and the air guitar).  After about 5 minutes, the music and noise finally dies down.


Hogan has a microphone.  “Hulk Hogan is in the house, Brother.”  The fans blow up again and it takes another minute for them to calm down.  “I am here, brother, because the Hulkster wants to make another IMPACT; first it was taking the world of wrestling by storm with the birth of Hulkamania.  Then it was changing the face of how fans perceived our sport; with professional wrestling becoming a sports entertainment empire and the Hulkster taking Hollywood by storm.  Finally, it is returning back to the scene of the crime to once again turn wrestling on its ear.”  The fans go ape-shit again.  Hogan interjects “The Hulkster is here to put even MORE asses in seats, BROTHER and to bring back to the CSWA and HWF the dominating force that is HULKAMANIA.”  Hogan poses some more before finishing off with “Watcha gonna do when the Hulkster picks apart the CSWA and HWF BROTHER and HULKAMANIA runs wild on YOU????”
 

Hulk Hogan then leaves the ring with a swagger in his step.  He gets to the top of the ramp and stops and stares at Mini Hogan.  We didn’t notice it before but MH is wearing a Hogan mask.  The Hulkster walks over and yanks it off and…hang on…its none other than our very own Malo Leche de Mantiquilla.  Hulk stares him down and Malo rushes off to the back.


The event kicks off with our first match of the evening.  First out comes Jack Swagger. His opponent comes out and it’s Roman Reigns from the Shield.  Looks like he’s running solo today.  Swagger gets the upper hand early by hurling Roman into the steel steps where it looks like he’s injured his ribs.  Swagger brings him back in and locks in an abdominal stretch.  Using the ropes for leverage, Swagger gets Reigns to tap out.  Jack Swagger gets the win in just 4 minutes.


We cut to the back and see the Pick and the Axe just sitting around.  Pick turns around and sees Wam Bam Arsonist standing behind him.  “Long time no see fellas” Wam begins.  “Uh yeah, man” Dirk mumbles “it’s been awhile.”  Wam continues “So I heard you wanted to put the band back together.  Well, I just wanted to let you know in person that I would NOT be rejoining the band.  In fact, I’ve actually aligned myself with a new team.  I think you know them.” All of a sudden, HP runs in with Bran-Don-Goh pounding on Dirk Devon and Casey Jones stomping on Medley.  Dirk then hurls B into some stacked boxes and he stays down.  Mike hits Casey with the Axe and he goes down.  Pick and the Axe then walk over to Wam.  Mike starts “Well, you’ve made your bed, now leave.”  Dirk turns and looks at Mike with a confused look on his face.  “What?”  “Never mind” Mike replies.  Dirk and Mike leave while Wam goes over to check on Bran-Don-Goh and Casey Jones.
 

We head back to the ring for our first title match of the night.   The US title is on the line with the champion Sheamus taking on the World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry.  Before Henry gets in the ring, he sets up a table at ringside.  He gets in the ring and as the bell sounds, Henry charges but Sheamus hits an Irish Curse back breaker and follows it up with a Celtic Cross Bomb.  Henry is up and hurls Sheamus over the top rope and he goes through the table.  Sheamus does not get back up before the 10 count so the first fall goes to Henry.  Sheamus makes it back into the ring but he is in no shape to wrestle.  The bell sounds and Henry beats him down for almost 10 minutes.  Henry then hits the World’s Strongest Slam in the middle of the ring and the ref counts 1…2…3.  Mark Henry has won the match and is the NEW US Champion.  Henry celebrates while an injured Sheamus is helped out.
 

In the back, El Chango and Senor Vampiro are preparing for their match and they notice that their ring gear is missing.  “Vampiro, my stuff is missing.  Do you have your stuff?”  Senor Vampiro replies “No, my stuff is missing too.  Hey, what is this?”  He starts rummaging through a box.  “You have got to be kidding me?”  Chango walks over and picks up what looks like a pink bunny suit.


Back in the ring, we are preparing for the next match.  Kurt Angle comes out to take on Ryback.  This was another short match.  Ryback started off on fire but as soon as Kurt knocked him out of the ring, he walked out.  A very short match with the win going to Kurt Angle.


Backstage, El Chango and Senor Vampiro are complaining about their gear missing.  Master Bull walks over “What’s the hold up?  You two are on next.”  Senor Vampiro says “Master Bull, someone stole our wrestling gear and left us this.”  He holds up a pink bunny suit (similar to the one from A Christmas Story) that had “I love Senor Vampiro” on the chest and Vampiro held up shorts and tights that said “I love El Chango”.  El Chango says “It’s those damn Mexicali Flyers, I just know it.”  Master Bull says “You know what, it really doesn’t matter. Get out to the ring…now.”


The next match begins with El Chango and Senor Vampiro making their way to the ring wearing their new outfits.  The fans are laughing and both stopped several times to tell the fans to “shut their pie holes”. They get in the ring and out comes their opponents Eric Young and Zack Ryder.


The match goes to a 30 minute time limit draw but Chango and Vampiro will KILLING them.  Neither man would not stay down for the 3 count.  After the bell rang, the camera pans to the audience and we see El Dragon Insano and Tornado en Fuego in the audience with what seems like Chango and Vampiro’s wresting outfits.  El Dragon and Tornado toss the clothes to the fans who team them to shreds.  Chango and Vampiro jump out of the ring and into the audience where they chase the Flyers away.


Tensai then comes out and heads to the ring.  He enters and picks up a microphone.  “I challenge anyone in the back to come face me in the ring for my European title.  Anyone?”  Out then comes Dirk “the Pick” Devon.  He is accompanied by X-Division champion Mike “the Axe” Medley.  “The Pick is here man and ready for competition. I challenge you Tensai.  And it will be more apropos when I take that title off you.”  Tensai replies “come on down.  Hell, I’ll even let you bring your little friend but make no mistake, I will NOT tolerate any interference.  One of you stick your noses in my business and you can kiss your precious little asses goodbye.


The first fall goes 20 minutes.  Dirk really put up a good show.  About 2/3’s into the match, the Axe removes one of the turnbuckles.  Dirk rams Tensai’s head into the exposed metal disorienting him.  The Pick hits the ropes and nails the Fender 5-Arm.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  First fall goes to Dirk.  Tensai then starts to battle back but gets tossed out of the ring.  Medley joins in the fun and they hit a double powerbomb on Tensai on the floor.  Dirk rolls back in the ring and goes to sit in the far corner.  The ref makes the count and as soon as he hits the number 10, he rings the bell signifying the end of the match.  He then raises Dirk’s arm to not only award him the match but the European title also.  Dirk and Medley stand in the ring with their singles titles while the fans boo and throw stuff at them.     


Our second to last match is Rey Mysterio taking on Bully Ray.  First, out comes Rey Mysterio and he is followed by Bully Ray.  This match will be for an upcoming title shot.  In 2 ½ minutes, Bully walks out of the match ending it in a countout win for Rey.  New music hits and it is Tornado en Fuego.  He comes down to the ring and joins Mysterio.  “Rey, I respect you and all but I was entitled to a title match.  El Chango cost me that opportunity after he forced El Dragon Insano and I out of here.  You took my title match when I wasn’t prepared for it.  I am asking you now for another shot for redemption.  You got my title shot and became champion.  I am back and now want a similar chance.  What do you say?”  Rey turns and says “Ring the bell.”  They shake hands as the match begins.
 

Bully Ray turns around and heads back to the ring.  Rey starts off with a flying dropkick.  Tornado hits a whirlwind that sends Rey to the outside.   Bully Ray then attacks Mysterio and puts him through a table.  Rey does not make it back in before the 10 count.  The countout win and future title shot are awarded to Tornado en Fuego.  Bully tries to jump in the ring but El Dragon comes out and Bully backs down and walks away. 


Our main event of the evening is for the CSWA World title.  The challenger comes out first and it is Christopher Daniels.  The champion AJ Styles follows.  Both have a brief staredown in the ring as the bell rings.  The match goes on for 18 ½ minutes and only ends after Christopher Daniels gets counted out of the ring.  AJ retains the title but it is the second time he has retained because of a countout.  Interesting.


We cut to the back for one final vignette.  It is between Master Bull and Hulk Hogan.  “Well, the Hulkster is here now and ready for action.”  “Um, Hulk, I didn’t sign you to a performer’s deal, just the Legend” Master Bull replied.  Hulk came back.  “AH, you didn’t read the contract, did you?  Well, Brother, it just so happens that you signed over to me ½ of the control here.  Heh, well, I guess the two of us will be working together for sure.”  “Hang on a sec Hulk, I did not sign any control to you.  The contract states….”  He opens it up and starts reading.  “Oh CRAP.”  Hulk continues “And as part of my new found control, I made my own executive decision on the hiring of a new face.  In fact, I think the two of you know each other.”  In walks Cactus Jackie.  She has a smirk on her face.  She doesn’t say anything but just walks over and shakes Hulk’s hand.  Hulk slaps Master Bull on the back.  “I’ll be seeing you…BROTHER.”  Hogan walks off and the camera zooms in on Master Bull.  “Oh Crap.”

 
That’s all for now.  I am sure that Hogan will be mixing things up now.  Stay Tuned.

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