Sunday, March 16, 2014

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 03.06

 Hello fans and welcome back.  We are broadcasting live from Las Vegas.  We have an action packed card that promises to keep you glued to your seats.  Clarkus Kentus is backstage and he has an announcement to make.

 
“Hello Fans. Welcome to Las Vegas.  I really didn’t want to start off on such a sour note but it turns out that the dastardly attack by the A-Team on Jake Roberts did a number on him.  It turns out that Jake needed surgery.  After the attack in Albuquerque, Jake went in for emergency surgery.  The good news is that everything went well.  In fact, the hospital let us take a camera in to see ‘the snake’ for a taped video.  Let’s roll it.”

 
We cut to a hospital room and the camera pans until it rest on Jake Roberts laying in his hospital bed.  (The fans cheer in Vegas).  Jake begins. “Hello Vegas.  The Snake here.  I wanted to let you all know that I appreciate the prayers and thoughts you sent my way.  Keep them coming as it will only help me get better faster.  I promise that payback will be a bitch and A-Team, for what you did to me, it will be returned 10-fold.  You see, the snake is a master at the game of manipulation and if for one minute, you think you put me out to pasture, well guess what….you’re wrong.  What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger and the Snake will emerge from this cocoon even deadlier than before.  That is a promise.  Finally, I have one last person to thank and that is DDP.  Page, who knows what they would have done to me had you not shown up.  Thanks brother.  The Snake will return…just you wait.”  Video ends.

 
We are back with Clarkus.  “A very emotional video from the great Jake Roberts.  Now, at this time I would like to bring out the trio responsible for this act…the A-Team.  Del Rio, Aries and Cesaro:  I hope you are all proud of what you did.”  Aries interrupts “We took out the decade old trash.”  Alberto comments “There is no room in this business for has-beens.  The competition is fierce but the A-Team will reign supreme.”   Cesaro takes center stage “Diamond Dallas Page…you stuck your nose in our business.  You put your hands on me.  Well, prepare for YOUR hospital stay as no one does that to me and gets away with it.”  Aries turns and exclaims “What the hell?”  Walking on camera is none other than DDP and he is armed with a steel chair.  “It’s me, it’s me, it’s DDP.  A-Team, you crossed the line attacking my good friend Jake.  Jake sends me in with a message.  Someone needs to teach you three the meaning of the word respect.”  Aries jumps in his face “Really and that is going to be who?  You old man?  You will need an army if you expect to take us on.”  Master Bull comes in and immediately separates the two team.  “Page, I need to see you in my office now.  A-Team, leave.  I had better not see you cause any trouble or I’ll make your lives a living hell.”  The A-Team leaves and Page follows Master Bull.


We cut to one of the dressing rooms and we see Hulk Hogan there talking on the phone…we do not know to whom.  “Listen Brother.  My contract states I get controlling interest in these federations and I need to make my play now.  I can’t give that goofball Bull any time to get his affairs in order.  (he pauses while listening) Yeah, that is a great idea.  I’m going to head down to the ring now and make if official.  Thanks for the chat, Brother.”  The Hulkster gets up and leaves the room not even paying attention to the camera that was there.  I guess what he was talking about is no longer a secret but I think we need to follow him to see what is going on.


“Voodoo Child” hits and out walks Hulk Hogan.  He makes a beeline for the ring.  He gets in and turns on the mic.  “Fans of the CSWA and HWF, the Hulkster is here, live and in person.  Vegas is a betting town and it is time for me to take over the CSWA and HWF.  Bull, you’ve tried; sometimes hitting the mark; sometimes way off.  It is time for the Hulkster to pick up the ball you’ve dropped and run with it.”  Master Bull comes out and he is not happy.  He makes his way to the ring.  “Hogan, you have some nerve.  This is my show; not yours.  You don’t come in here taking over the house I’ve built.”  “Someone has to Brother.  You’re not exactly a wrestling mind but I’ve been in this business for over 30 years and I will tell you, I know how to run it.”  Bull looks confused “So what you are saying is that ‘you had the ball’ when you ran with WCW and proceeded to not only run it into the ground but also cost Ted Turner billions of dollars?  Where were the asses in those seats?  You are NOT taking this from me.”  Hogan shakes his head “You marks will never learn.  I am taking over.  I am already in control.  What you think you have is only a Mirage (pun intended as we are in Vegas after all).  What did the owners actually say to you?  I had you by the ‘franks and beans’”.  The fans begin chanting Franks and Beans.  (A bit of forshadowing:  by the end of the show, Franks and Beans was the #1 tweet around the world).  Master Bull lets the chanting die down.  “You’ll never get this show.  Not while I’m here.  But if you really want me out, go gather a team and at Wrestlemania, Team Master Bull will take on Hogan’s Cocoa Puffs, er, I mean Team Hogan (Hogan’s Cocoa Puffs was a very close #2 tweet)  with the victor’s team awarding 100% managerial rights for the HWF and CSWA.”  “You’re on Brother.”  Hogan stares down at Bull before leaving.  The fans chanted “Cocoa Puffs” at Hogan all the way to the back.  Hogan walks back to his dressing room and picks up the phone.  He dials a number.  “It’s all done.  Time to put the plan into action”.  Hogan then closes the door to his office.


Here are the matches and the results:

Cactus Jackie gets her 2nd win against Nikki Bella after getting Nikki to tap out to the Cactus Clutch in 12 minutes.


Right after this match, we cut to a commotion in the back.  VamChango seem to be trying to pick a fight with fellow countryman Malo Leche de Mantequilla.  There is a lot of shoving going on until VamChango unloaded on Malo.  They beat him down pretty bad until the Mexicali Flyers jump in for the save.  They chase VamChango off and help Malo up.  He nods in appreciation and all shake hands. 


The next match of the night is Ryback taking on Bobby Lashley in Lashley’s first singles match back.  Bobby is wiping the mat with Ryback.  He hasn’t lost a step.  The tide turns however when Bully Ray makes his way down causing a distraction.  Ryback uses this to his advantage and nails Lashley with the Meathook.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  After the match, Bully jumps in and starts to kick and stomp on Bobby.  Bobby battles back hitting a Dominator.  Bully rolls out of the ring and scurries to the back.


Another backstage commotion is taking place between Dirk “the Pick” Devon and Wam Bam Arosonist.  Dirk is accusing Wam of costing Mike the title, Mike’s livelihood but more importantly, Dirk’s partner and band teammate.  Dirk tells Wam to watch his back but Arsonist does not take too well to the threat so he gets into Dirk’s face.  There’s a bit of shoving and punches thrown but it ends pretty quick when Arsonist hits the Pick with the “Wham Bam Thank you Ma’am” and Dirk falls to the ground; eyes wide in horror.  Dirk exclaims “I want you in the ring, man.  You’ll pay.”  Wam Bam stands over him “You think you scare me?  I’ve seen a lot worse than you.  But if you want me in the ring, you need to put some skin in the game.  That title…it’s on the line whether or not you like it.  When you are ready to lose, you let me know.


US Champion Mark Henry came out for his match next against A-Team member Antonio Cesaro.  In 20 minutes, the first fall goes to Antonio after he hits a cradle facebuster.  The second fall goes 25 minutes.  Henry was setting up for the World’s strongest slam when the other A-Team members – Alberto Del Rio and Austin Aries come out distracting the champion.  Cesaro hits the cradle facebuster again and with his feet on the ropes, gets the 1-2-3.  Antonio Cesaro has just defeated Mark Henry to become the NEW US CHAMPION.  His tag team partners join him in the ring and they all celebrate.


A quick interview with DDP and he says that he will be announcing his tag team partner next week.  With this reveal, everyone will feel the BANG!


Next on the card is Alberto Del Rio taking on Curtis Axel for the North American title.  Del Rio gets the first fall in 22 minutes after pinning Axel with a rolling cross armbreaker.  9 minutes later Del Rio hits a double arm breaker and rolls Axel up for the win.  Alberto Del Rio wins the North American Title.  This is the second singles title won by a member of the A-Team.  Aries and Cesaro comes out to celebrate with their teammate.  Austin Aries acknowledges that he is the final member of the team without a title so he calls out Christian for his title shot at the Internet Media Championship. 


In 16 minutes, Christian gets the first fall after hitting Aries with the Unprettier.  Before the second fall could begin, Del Rio and Cesaro jump in the ring and attack Christian.  The ref eventually gets them out and rings the bell.  The next fall goes 20 minutes and favors Aries.  The beatdown the A-Team put on Christian put him at a disadvantage.  The third round goes the final 22 minutes declaring a time limit draw.  The ref tries to give Christian back his title but Aries steals it and blasts Christian with it.  Austin Aries stands with his teammates and all raise their titles in victory.  Master Bull comes out and it seems that the match was ended prematurely…by 2 minutes. He makes the decision to hold the title up and these two will meet in a week to decide who the champion is. 


The second to last match is the Mexicali Flyers taking on VamCango.  The Flyers NJWW tag team titles are on the line.  Since these belts are not HWF/CSWA authorized, there is no automatic rematch clause.  The battle goes for 5 minutes with Tornado en Fuego getting counted out.  Since the titles can’t change hands on a countout, the Flyers still retain but it is under question if the Flyers (since they lost the match via countout) would have to dress in drag.  Master Bull came out and said no, and said to restart the match. 


The challengers brought the fight to the champs even double teaming them for almost a third of the match.  The flyers just kept fighting back.   Insano hits a Guerrero stomp on El Chango and then tags out to Tornado who hits Chango with a Tornado punch sending him to the outside.  Insano runs over and nails Chango with a  Brainbuster on the floor.  He is out.  Vampiro runs over and brawls with Insano and the ref ends up counting Chango out at the 20 minute mark.  The Mexicali Flyers retain their titles via countout decision but again, we are in the same predicament.  Master Bull comes out again and says that a winner must be decided by pinfall and to avoid anyone getting counted out, at the next show, this would be moved to a steel cage.  The winner of that match will be the NJWW tag team championships.  The losers will have to dress in drag for 3 consecutive shows.


Everyone leaves to make way for the main event.  The challenger Daniel Bryan comes out first and he is followed by HWF World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar.  This will be a best of 3 falls; 60 minute time limit.  In 9 minutes, Brock takes the first fall after nailing Bryan with the F-5.  For the first 19 minutes, Daniel had total control and was dominating the World Champion.  The tide turned however after Bryan got tossed out of the ring and Brock picked him up and rammed his back repeatedly into the steel post.  After that, Bryan could barely stand.  Brock toyed with him for 6 minutes and after a back body drop sent Bryan up 10 feet into the air and he crashed hard on the mat, Brock walked over and with one finger pinned Daniel Bryan.  Brock Lesnar retains the HWF World title. 


All of a sudden, the lights go out and an eerie blue light fills the arena.  The Undertaker’s music hits and Brock is leaning over the ropes hollering for Undertaker to come out.  What he fails to notice is that Undertaker is already there standing behind him.  Brock turns around and eats a big boot.  Undertaker calls for the Tombstone Piledriver but Brock quickly rolls out.  Brock’s eyes are wide with surprise and he backs cautiously back up the ramp.  Undertaker raises his arm and the lights come back up.  Undertaker leaves the ring.


That is all we have for now.  Stay Tuned as we have more great action to report on coming up.

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