HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.07

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Last episode, GM Max McGillicutty said that today’s show will be hosted by a familiar face.  He comes out to start off the show and welcomes the fans for attending.  Max then introduces the host for tonight’s show…here…in Nashville.

“If you smellllllllllll…what the Rock…is…cookin’” blares over the speakers and the Rock comes out to a HUGE pop.  It is deafening.  Rock saunters down to the ring and climbs the turnbuckles soaking in the adulation from the millions…and millions…of the Rock’s fans.  The Rock says he is the host for tonight’s show.  “Finally, the ROCK has come BACK to Nashville.  The Rock says that he and #CJ will have a showdown in the ring tonight with a contract signing.  #CJ had best put on his ‘big boy pants’ and show up.  And make sure they’re your brown pants because the Rock isn’t going to be responsible for what will happen when you finally come face to face with the People’s Champion.  The Rock is here to #TCB (take care of business). #CJ, you got what you wanted. You Finally got the People’s Champion’s attention so just BRING IT.  If you smeellllllalalalalalala…what the ROCK…is…cookin’.”  #BrownPants begins trending almost immediately.

Backstage, Daniel Bryan meets up with GM Max McGillicutty.  He says that he doesn’t want to wait any longer and wants his rematch now instead of waiting for the PPV.  Max thinks about it for a moment and agrees but says that with this change, it becomes one fall…winner takes all.  If Daniel loses, there are no more rematches.  Bryan agrees.

It is time for our first match which has Charlotte vs Cactus Jackie for her spot ranking for the Diva’s title.  These two have met before when Charlotte debuted but Jackie did not come out ahead and now she has something at stake.  Charlotte took the match to Jackie who was getting schooled pretty badly but would not lay down long enough for a 3 count.  Finally, as we were nearing the time limit, Charlotte locked Jackie in a Figure Four Necklock and used that to finally get that elusive 1-2-3.  Charlotte moves up in the rankings and Jackie drops.  (24 min)

In the back, X factor member Christopher Daniels cuts a promo saying he’s next in line for the hardcore title shot and will bring gold to the X-Factor.  He’ll see Magnum Kone at the PPV.

Our next match is also for ranking with Prince Devitt vs Heath Slater for his spot ranking for the North American title.  This one was a relatively short match that saw Slater Gator actually put on a good showing but after attempting a flying dropkick and missing, Devitt caught him with an ankle lock and got Heath to tap out.  Prince Devitt moves up in the rankings.  (4 min) 

While being interviewed backstage, HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt offers a world title shot to Bobby Roode tonight.  Bobby Roode walks over and accepts and says the Reign of Wyatt ends tonight.  Bray watches as Bobby walks away and starts to laugh.          

We head back to the ring for our next match which is Nikki Bella challenging Alicia Fox for her spot ranking for the Women’s title.  This one went 15 minutes and was very one-sided as Alicia beat the tar out of Nikki.  Even with interference from her twin Brea, it didn’t help as Fox was on fire for this.  Alicia ends up catching Nikki with a tiltawhirl backbreaker and then made the cover to get the 1-2-3.  Alicia retains her spot.  (15 min)

In the back, Miz is being interviewed and he mocks the Fiend for 1) stealing his belt like a coward and not returning it and 2) he couldn’t get the job done.  The interviewer points out that Miz didn’t get the job done either and Miz gets all mad and storms off.

In ring action continues Kenta vs Daniel Bryan for the North American championship.  Bryan definitely brought his A game but it wasn’t enough to keep up with the new champion.  The two battled hard with Kenta having the slight edge.  Bryan managed to lock in the Yes Lock but Kenta was quickly able to get to the ropes.  After a bit of more back and forth action, Bryan hits Kenta with a forearm smash and Kenta blasts back with the Go To Sleep.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Kenta retains the NA title (7 min)

GM Max McGillicutty comes out for the World title contract signing between current champ Samoa Joe and the previous champ Austin Aries.  Aries comes out first with the X-Factor followed by the champ who was accompanied by the Enforcers.  Aries immediately grabbed the contract from Max and signed it.  Samoa Joe then also signed it and before we knew what was happing, they were brawling in the ring.  Their teammates all joined in the fray as all hell breaks loose.  Max finally gets everyone to separate and then The Rock comes out and says that these teams will fight tonight in our main event…in a steel cage.

#CJ arrives and GM Max McGillicutty says that the host of the evening has called for a contract signing after the next match and #CJ is required to head to the ring.  If he shows his true cowardice, he will be FIRED.  Max walks away and just as reporter Larry Morton is walking by, #CJ goes into Promo Mode: 

“Once again the unstoppable force that is CJ is cheated by the forces that be........I've defeated giants and slayed monsters, only to be upstaged by actors, imposters, ice cream socials, and powder puffs!!!!!! we have wretches dead beats and leprechauns continually stroking literally and figuratively the powers that be for title shots, main events and false victories!!!!! Yet you the paying public continue to be the pubic hairs that cheer, comfort and hide all these pricks!!!!! This whole federation, collaboration....... abomination is like a cheap thrill, a $2 prostitute!!!!!! but all you have witnessed the greatness of the REAL PC!!!!!! AND AT YOUR RASH OF CHUMPIONS #CJ will show all of you what a real entertainer is capable of!!!!! I will change the face of sports entertain like no other!!!!!! CJ out.”  #CJ then goes off to get ready for his showdown with the Rock.

We go back to the ring for our World Title Match between the champion Bray Wyatt and Bobby Roode for the HWF World title.  The champ had Bobby’s # and kept him on the defensive for a lot of the match,  During the match, Brock Lesnar comes out and stands on the ramp.  Bray ignores him but Roode gets distracted and when he turns around, gets hit with Sister Abigail.  Bray makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Bray retains his title.  Brock runs down and hurls Roode out of the ring before brawling with Bray.  The two are finally separated when the suits came down from the back to break it up.  (7 min for the match, 10 for the segment)

After everyone was cleared out, #CJ comes out with Bubba Horowitz (“son” of former real life jobber Barry Horowitz) and they are dressed like boxers.  They saunter down to the ring to the music “Eye of the Tiger” and #CJ pretend boxes the air.  Both men are wearing jean shorts hanging half the way down their asses.  Before #CJ could get on the mic and open his big mouth again, out comes our guest host for the evening.  Rock comes out to a pop that was louder than before (not sure that was even possible) and Rock gets on the mic. 

“The Rock says He says he is calling #CJ out for calling himself #PC (People’s Champion).  There is only one People’s Champion and that is the Rock.  Hell, #CJ isn’t even the Peep’s Champion as that moniker was held by Christian who by the way was a much better wrestler than #CJ could ever hope to be.  Conan (#CJ gets mad when Rock doesn’t refer to his proper name) only thinks of himself…me, me, me…therefore he is now known as the “Meeples Champion”. (#1 trend worldwide by the end of the night). 

#CJ interrupts and starts signing the contract.  “Finally ........big wiff oh air....the rock has brought his candy ass out of Hollywood and into the squared circle to meet his maker....but guess what Mr Hollywood this ain't a movie......no writers and this isn't gonna end well for you.... sorry rocky no happy ending for you...... so I suggest you take your ass back up that ramp, very fast, before I get very furious.....maybe call up Marky mark beg him to be part of his lil funky bunch......!!!!!!  Ahahahahaha you see rock,  you had your shot, your moment to shine, but guess what.....that moment is over.....don't come down here and try to steal my shine, just cuz the spot light is now on me don't look to me to resurrect your career....I'm cool your big Hollywood now, and ewww your buff... been hitting the weights but guess what..... down here in the ring we hit back....and I'm not gonna let the gm, the writers, and I ain't for Damn sure gonna let the owners tell me how it's gonna go down...so when you step in here with me rocky Miavia best believe it's for real....... so better call your agent check your schedule ....make sure this move doesn't interfere with Hollywood…”

Rock cuts #CJ off with holding his hand up.  Rock says that the Meeples Champion likes to flap his gums and even though he no longer goes by the name “Jones”, he was never a real Jones.  The only real Jones (Rock points to the Omegatron) is this guy and on the screen comes Osmosis Jones (from the Animated series).  Osmosis Jones (voiced by Chris Rock who did the character in the movie) backs up the Rock saying that #CJ can’t beat him and won’t and when he loses, and loses bad, #CJ will be the one leaving.  #CJ attacks the Rock and the two start brawling.  #CJ hits a low blow on the Rock and then stands over him.  Rock gets back up pretty quick (#RocksStones begins to trend) and he hits #CJ with a Rock Bottom.  However, he hit him SO HARD that #CJ’s pants fell down.  Rock turns #CJ over and then puts the contract on his back and signs it.  Rock poses one last time to the cheering from the crowd before leaving.  Bubba Horowitz came in after it was all done and helped #CJ to the back.  Osmosis Jones was still on the screen saying “Boy, you got yourself in a world of trouble” and the fans cheered.  As a reminder to all…#CJ put his career on the line and he must win or he’s out a job.

It is time for our Main event:  The X-Factor vs the Enforcers in a steel cage.  The Enforcers came out first as the cage was being assembled and waited in the ring.  Once assembly was completed, the X-Factor came out.  This one saw that after a triple team on Mark Henry, he gets injured and doesn’t participate in the rest of the match.  That did not stop the Enforcers from controlling the match.  Aries had made the hot tag to AJ Styles who cleaned house.  After Aries got a few minutes to rest, he was back in fighting Joe.  He hits Joe with a Slingshot corkscrew press and then tags out to Daniels.  Daniels nails a double jump moonsault and lands on Joe.  AJ and Aries then took out Ryback.  Daniels makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  The X-Factor make it to the door and exit.  They win the match in a 21 minute fight.  With that, the show comes to an end.  Next issue is our milestone so stay tuned.

Before we sign off, here is how the PPV is looking as of right now (card subject to change)

Magnum Kone vs Christopher Daniels for the Hardcore title.

The Desperados vs the Steel Curtain for the tag team titles

Taylor Bella vs Jupiter Jane for the Diva’s title

The Ascension & Kane vs Prestige Inc in a rematch for the 6 man titles

Samoa Joe vs Austin Aries for the CSWA World title

Ravishing Raquel vs Southern Belle for the Women’s title

The Peoples Champ vs the Meeples Champ:  The Rock vs #CJ.  There will be a special guest referee.

Miz vs the Fiend in a Rematch for the US title in a Steel Cage

Bray Wyatt vs Brock Lesnar for the World title in a steel cage.  

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.06

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue is mostly about challenges for ranking spots which means, yep, you guessed it, no #CJ. 

The first match of the night has Alberto el Patron challenging Jeff Jarrett for his spot ranking for the CSWA World title.  Patron is accompanied to the ring by his A-Team teammates Antonio Cesaro and Adrian Neville.  This was a very evenly matched throughout the entire match.  At one point, Alberto is tossed out of the ring but makes it back in quicker than anyone expected and locked JJ in a rolling cross armbar.  His proximity to the ropes are all that saved him.  As the match progressed, JJ dragged Alberto’s face across the ring rope but instead of Alberto holding his face in pain, he grabbed JJ and locked in the rolling cross armbar a second time.  Luck again was on JJ’s side as he made it to the ropes to break the hold.  As the match was nearing its conclusion, Alberto hits a scoop powerslam but JJ pops up and hits Alberto with the Stroke.  JJ makes the cover and with a bit of tight pulling, gets the 1-2-3.  Jeff Jarrett retains his spot.  (12 min)

Southern Belle cut a promo saying that Raquel disrespected her and wants her in the ring.  Max comes over to make the match for tonight.

Our next match is Sonic Blade & the Nigerian Wraith challenge Crowe & Kalisto for their title shot.  Blade and the Wraith aren’t even in the top 10 so a win here gets them one step closer to realizing a dream.  For 9 minutes, Blade and the Wraith were controlling the tempo of the match but as time went on, Crowe and Kalisto figured things out and ended up taking the match to their challengers.  As the match went on, the Wraith hit Solomon Crowe with a chairshot to the head.  The ref only caught the tail end and questioned Wraith to what he was doing.  He of course pleaded innocent.  This gave Crowe enough time to hit a headlock driver and roll the Wraith up for the 1-2-3.  Crowe and Kalisto retain their spot. (19 min)

In the back, the Fiend is being interviewed by Larry Morton.  He says he knows the location of Miz’s US title but will not disclose it.  Morton pointedly asks if the Fiend was the one in disguise who actually took the belt.  The Fiend says No, it wasn’t him but he did have a hand in it.  The Fiend says that tonight, he gets the Miz one on one and hopes to be the one who shuts the Miz’s mouth for good.

Taking a break from tag team action, Sami Zayn challenges Buzz Steel (Steel Curtain) for his spot (ranking) for the X-Division title.  For 10 minutes, Buzz controlled the match but started to run out of steam and that allowed Zayn to open the flood gates.  Zayn dazzled everyone with his high flying moves and kept the fans on the edge of their seats.  Zayn nails Buzz with a scoop slam piledriver but Buzz kicks out at the very last second.  Zayn then proceeds to climb the corner turnbuckle.  Buzz struggles to his feet and hits the ropes and Zayn crotches himself on the top turnbuckle.  Buzz pulls him partially off the corner and then hits the Buzz Cut (Diamond Cutter).  He rolls Zayn up and gets the 1-2-3.  Buzz Steel retains his spot.  After the match, he helps Zayn to his feet and shake hands in a mutual sign of respect.  Both leave at the same time.  (17 min)

The Miz is being interviewed and calls the Fiend a cheat, a stealer and a liar.  He will eliminate the Fiend from the HWF and CSWA once and for all and will be able to show off his title wherever he goes.

So far, it seems that everyone who’s been defending their ranking spot have succeeded.  Next up is Starbuck Steel (the other half of the Steel Curtain) challenging Big E for his spot (ranking) for the IC title.  Big E wasn in control for practically the entire match.  Starbuck just couldn’t catch a break until his partner Buzz Steel came out.  Buzz provided some words of wisdom to his tag team partner and sent him back in.  Little good it did.  Big E blasts Starbuck with a big foot to the face.  He makes the cover but Starbuck gets his leg on the rope.  Langston then hits a military press and drop.  He goes over to yell at Buzz Steel telling him to take a hike while he finishes destroying his tag team partner.  Starbuck rolled Big E up with a small package and (with a hook of the tights), got the 3 count.  Starbuck Steel gets the win and moves up in the rankings while Big E drops.  The rest of the New Day run out but the Steel Curtain leave them stewing in the ring.  (20 min)

Jupiter Jane cuts a promo on Taylor saying she almost ended the career of her tag team partner.  She promises that at the Clash of the Champions, she’ll make Taylor pay…in blood.

Next up is two of the most interesting female performers on the roster…Southern Belle vs Ravishing Raquel in a non-title match.  If Belle wins, she will be next in line for a title shot at the PPV.  The challenger took the match to the champion right off the bat.  However, the longer the match went on, the champ would gain ground back.  The two fought a really tough match for a whopping 28 minutes and just as Raquel was setting up for the Simply Ravishing, Belle caught her with a flying body press and with a hook of the leg, gets the 1-2-3.  Belle will be receiving a title shot at the Clash of the Champions PPV.  After the match, Raquel attacked her and locked in the Ravishing Chickenwing and refused to let up.  She held on long enough till she heard a ‘POP’.  She then let go and Belle rolled around in the ring holding her arm.  She looks to be in excruciating pain.  Raquel leaves without further incident. 

Ken Anderson approaches GM Max McGillicutty and asks for his unconditional release after his humiliating loss to Sheamus in under 60 seconds.  Max says no but he will allow him to move to the CSWA.  Ken thinks about it for a minute and accepts.  Max says Sonic Blade will be moved to the HWF so he can be with his teammate the Nigerian Wraith.

Just when we thought we’d get through the show without #CJ, a video with him rears its ugly head. 

“I was just in the bathroom, and i smelt what the rock has been cooking, and its worse than his career!!!!!  Why, oh why we’ve seen hogan retain belts for waaaay to long, run companies a muck and into the ground, we’ve seen corpses literally rise from the dead, and stick around way after his entire career rotted!!!!  I’ve seen hermorphodites and lil homos (x pac) last way longer then his 1 2 3 career should have, I’m seeing soft serve pedophiles, and reborn recycled wraiths emerge as talent?????  Next thing you know Caitlyn Jenner is gonna be your main event ahahahahahaha, is she gonna hold the belt and the womens title at the same time hahahahaha.....I CANNOT WAIT to show this entire circus what heights i can and will bring it too when i face this ex loser, turn chumpion, actor!!!!!!  I ran 1 hollywood out of here, watch me run this hollywood outta here.  #CJ OUT!!!!!” (We hear a toilet flush in the background.)

Next up on the card Bobby Roode challenges Viktor (the Ascension) for his spot (ranking) for the world title.  Viktor starts off pummeling Roode for about 3 minutes until the Desperados come out and distract Viktor.  Bobby jumps up and hits the Northern Lariat and rolls him up for the 1-2-3.  Bobby moves up in the rankings and Viktor moves down.  (4min)

In the back, Belle is being tended to my medical who say her shoulder is dislocated.  Belle tells the medic to hold she shoulder down and the forcibly twists her body popping her shoulder back in the socket.  You can see the anger, pain and frustration radiating off her.  Belle says she gets her hands once again on Ravishing Raquel and it will be at the PPV and once and for all, she will prove why she is Women’s Champion material…bum shoulder or not.

We head back to the ring for the next match which has Leon Teremoto vs Bram for his spot (ranking) for the North American title.  This was another close match that saw Leon keep up with Bram move for move.  The fans were surprised to see this guy get up and move.  At the 15 minute mark, Bram is thrown out of the ring and he was just too tired (or so it seemed) to continue.  Bram ends up getting counted out and Leon gets the win via countout.  He moves up the ranking and Bram moves down.  (15 ½ min)

GM Max McGillicutty says the next show will have a special host and that you all need to tune in to see who it is.

It is time for the Main Event:  The Miz vs the Fiend for the US title (and the location of the belt).  GM Max McGillicutty comes out first and introduces the Fiend.  He comes out and hands the GM a piece of paper (presumably with the location of the title).  Max looks it over and nods.  The Fiend heads to the ring.  The Miz comes out next and grabs the paper from Max and his eyes go all wide with shock.  He looks at the Fiend in the ring and immediately charges him.  Max stops him before he got in the ring and tells Miz that this will be a specialty match.  It was determined to be a Lights Out match.  The two fought tooth and nail and beat the holy hell out of each other for what seemed like an eternity (was actually 28 min).  Neither could get a leg up over the other.  As we got to that 28 minute mark, the Miz hits the Fiend with a haymaker and Fiend hits Miz with the Last Caress at the exact same time.  Both men went down.  The ref counted 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10.  Both men are counted out and the match comes to an end as a double countout.  GM Max McGillicutty comes back down with the US title in his possession.  Max says these two put on a hell of a fight but this one is not over.  Max says these two will indeed meet one more time and this time will be in the confines of a steel cage.  Max says he is holding up the title and will award it once these two have their final confrontation in the unforgiving structure.  Both Miz and the Fiend had to be helped from the ring.

With that, the show comes to an end.  Stay tuned as this is really starting to get good.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.05

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  The show begins with GM Max McGillicutty coming out.  He thanks the fans for coming out to the show and says that after flapping his gums and ranting and raving, #CJ will have a match right here and now.  He calls #CJ out who comes out and gets into the GM’s face.  Max orders #CJ to the ring or he will be fired.  #CJ heads down to the ring.  Max then introduces his opponent and it is none other than…BROCK LESNAR.  #CJ bolts out of the ring and grabs a mic.  He says that if he has to fight Lesnar now, he wants the IC title on the line.  Max thinks about it for a second and says “No”.  Brock gets in the ring and tells #CJ to man up and get in the ring.    Max then announces that this will be a No DQ match.  Uh Oh…not good for #CJ.  #CJ kept running from Brock but finally fell to the awesome power that is the Beast Incarnate.  HWF World and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt came out.  Lesnar threw #CJ out of the ring.  Wyatt runs in and brawls with Lesnar until he drops Brock with Sister Abigail.  Bray then left the ring.  #CJ sneaks back in and drops an elbow on Brock and makes the cover on Brock and what is the biggest upset of the YEAR if not the decade, he gets the pin.  #CJ gets the win but there was no title on the line so he walks away with nothing. (Editor’s note: HAHAHAHAHAHHA) (8 min)

We just got an update on Madame Jade who got busted open after taking a chair shot from Taylor Bella.  It appears that the injury was not as severe as it initially looked and she will make a speedy recovery.  Madame Jade says that after Jupiter Jane gets her shot at Taylor, win or lose, she wants the Bella sister after that.

The next match on the card is Curtis Axel (NA) challenges Zack Ryder (IC) for his spot ranking.  Zack barely outperformed Axel who was doing pretty well on his own.  The two fought with no one really getting a substantial advantage over the other.  This one came to a close when the 30 minute mark was reached.  Axel remains in the North American top 10 and Ryder retains his spot for the Intercontinental title. (30 min)

North American Champion Daniel Bryan says he’s putting the title on the line today against one of Japan’s greatest young talent Kenta Kobayashi.  He is looking forward to the match later on.

We go back to the ring for our next spot ranking match.  Eric Young is challenging Tajiri for his spot.  For 14 minutes, EY looked to be the favorite of the match but the Japanese Buzzsaw turned that around after nearly taking off EY’s head with a kick.  Tajiri then took over beating down EY and after blinding him after spitting green mist in his eyes, Tajiri hits a german suplex and pins EY’s shoulders to the mat for the 1-2-3.  Tajiri retains his spot.  (23 min)

We cut back to the interview area where Natalya and Ravishing Raquel are having a faceoff.  Natalya challenges Raquel for a shot at her title and after some prodding from Natalya, Raquel finally agreed.  That match will be later.

Next on the card is Team WTF (Jack Swagger, Bo Dallas and Frankie Kazarian) facing off against Robbie E, Ethan Carter III and Rockstar Spud.  Team WTF was on fire.  They took the match to the challengers but after a lot of cheating by ECIII, Spud and Robbie E (which included attacking all of them on the outside of the ring, ECIII rams Frankie (the legal man) into the ringpost and he was unable to answer the 10 count.  Spud and ECIII were dancing and pissing people off until Bo and Swagger recovered enough to chase them away.  They forgot Robbie E who was trapped in the corner.  Bo and Swagger both beat on Robbie until ECIII and Spud made the save and pulled him to safety.  (4 ½ min) 

Once in the back, Team WTF regathered, and making his way over is the Olympic Hero Kurt Angle.  Kurt says that they were actually looking really good but are in need of some leadership.  Kurt says he can help them all be all they can be.  Kurt points out that Jack Swagger is All-American.  He moves on to Bo Dallas and says that he comes from a solid family (Son of Mike Rotundo and nephew to Barry Windham) and says Frankie is the ass-kicker of the team.  Kurt suggests they drop the name Team WTF and become the NEW Varsity Club.  Swagger is on board and so is Frankie.  Bo is the one hold out.  Kurt reminds him that his dad (Mike Rotundo) was a founding member of the original Varsity Club and that he would do his family proud taking on this legacy.  Bo agrees and it seems we have a new team led by Kurt Angle…The Varsity Club. 

It’s time for more action with another 6 man tag team match.  The New Day (Xavier Woods, Big E Langston and Kofi Kingston) heading to the ring and they say they want a match and will take on anyone who wants a piece of them.  The Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) come out and introduce their partner for the evening…Stardust.  This was nothing short of an ass kicking.  The Steel Curtain and Stardust were wiping the mat with the members of New Day but, to their credit, constant tagging kept their hopes alive.  This went on for a whopping 30 minutes and we have ourselves another draw.  The New Day hightailed it out of there as they wanted no further embarrassment.  (30 min)

Mr. Anderson is in the back and he says “Finally, I get my hands on Sheamus and after this match, one of us will be the victor and the other a loser.  I say loser because that person will have quit…Not from tapping out mind you but yelling into a microphone that he gives up.  Once I beat Sheamus and make him scream, I will be free to pursue any title of my choice without worrying about that white ghost attacking me at every turn.  Now, it’s the time for Missssssstttttteeeeerrrrrrrrrrr Aaaaannnnddddeeeerrrrssssssoooooonnnnnnnnn.”

It’s time for our next title match which has the Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel defending the title against Natalya.  Raquel took control and for the first 10 minutes, owned the match.  After that, Natalya hit the Nattie by Nature but only got a one count.  Natalya’s run only lasted a few minutes and the champ took over again.  Raquel ate another Nattie by Nature but had enough intestinal fortitude to toss Natalya out of the ring.  Nattie went sailing over the top rope and landed on the steps.  She ended up getting counted out and the match was awarded to the champ Ravishing Raquel.  Raquel posed in the ring with her title as the fans booed and she flipped them off and left.

In the back, Southern Belle approaches Ravishing Raquel as she returns from the ring and asks for a match.  Raquel pie faces her and the two begin to brawl until it is broken up by the backstage workers.

A promo from Bray Wyatt was then shown.  "She taught me. She taught me from a young age. She said 'you got to get them before they get you. A rattlesnake's skin is the same color as the leaves,' she said. And we all understood her. She led us with her love but she taught us that the fires, well, they were our friends too. 'The world is an evil place,' she said. And we agreed. And I was there, I was there when she took her final breath. She pulled me in close and she said, 'you're the one.' She said, 'They chose you, long before you were ever in existence.' And I understood what she meant. Her touch could save the world but her kiss burns it to the ground. I love you, Sister Abigail.  Brock, you will feel MY pain."  Creepy.

Next on the card is our next title match.  Kenta Kobayashi comes out first and then is followed by the North American Champion Daniel Bryan.  Bryan was the more aggressor but Kenta was just amazing.  The fans were on the edges of their seats for the entire match. What few moves Kenta was able to whip out just dazzled the mind.  Daniel was wearing Kenta down and he picked him up and set him on the top corner turnbuckle.  He then went to the other side, ran and jumped like he was going to hit a hurricanrana but Kenta caught him in mid-air and nailed a powerbomb.  He crawled over and made the cover.  The ref counted 1...2…3.  Kenta has just become the NEW North American Champion!  Daniel Bryan gets ready for the next fall (assuming this is a best of 3 falls) but then GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that Daniel is not getting his rematch tonight but will get it at the next show.  Bryan isn’t happy about it but accepts it. (9 min)

‘Black Machismo’ Jay Lethal comes out and says that he wants the next match after Bryan gets his rematch.  The challenge has been made.

In the back, #CJ says that he should be the rightful champion and after he destroys the Rock at Clash of the Champions, he wants Lesnar back in the ring to teach him who the ‘real beast’ is….whatever #CJ.

It is time for our Main Event:  Ken Anderson vs. Sheamus in an I Quit match.  This is the end to their feud and a pretty pathetic way to finish off the show.  Ken connects with a lariat but Sheamus chops the knee right out from under Ken.  Sheamus locks in the Irish Cloverleaf and using the ropes for additional leverage, got Ken to start screaming.  The ref walks over with a mic and Ken screams “I Quit!”…all in under a minute.  Sheamus gets up, looks one last time at Ken and then leaves.  Ken limps to his feet and then walks back with his head held low.  With that, the show comes to an end.

Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.04

Hello fans and welcome back to our show.  The show begins with the lamest lameass, the world’s greatest Jackass, the one and only #CJ.

#CJ storms out to the ring and brings the show to a screeching halt.

“once again another lame show........"the millions and millions "..........of #CJs fans ohhhh and both of the rocks fans are left dissatisfied, bored, and outraged that the true PC is not in the show, and well frankly they are disgusted that he still isn't THE headliner.....I mean come on I thought.....no I KNEW this show sucked when Bollywood Bulk Whogan was in charge, but WOW this is really hitting the crapper........these "owners, and gms" down right suck......they cater to fan boys, virgins.....12 pack Milwaukees Best swiggin, cousin loving, Confederate flag hanging inbred rednecks!!!!! Ohhhhh and 8 year old........thank God that the 1950s home pedophile wasn't part of this show, giving out ice cream and candy in hopes of luring 1 of these poor daddy's, uncle, brothers backstage with him...!!!!!!! But what do you expect from the commercial cooperation that is the HWF/cswa!!!!!!! Ewwwwww 400 shows, big fricken whoop this place was crap before I showed up, and OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE 500 with shows like this!!!!!! Your line up is crap, get rid of the has beens and never will be's, yes rock and and Mr mcflurry I am talking about you!!!!! You know what I don't even know why the he'll I'm even commenting on this…#CJ OUT!!!!!!!!! (drops the mic).  #CJ power walks to the back to the booing from EVERY fan in the building.

Now that that schmuck is done, we can get on with the rest of the show.

Our first match on the card is Alexander Rusev challenging Jeff Hardy for his spot ranking for the Intercontinental title.  Rusev attacked Hardy before the match.  Just as the bell rang, Rusev went for a kick to the gut but Hardy reversed it and hurled Rusev out of the ring.  He then went to the top turnbuckle and nailed a swanton bomb on Rusev on the floor.  Hardy rolls back in and gets the win after Rusev got counted out.  The whole match took a whopping 30 seconds.  A very pissed off Rusev walked to the back.

In the back, Ryback called out Big Show for sticking his nose into his match.  He said he wants the match tonight. 

Next on the card is two superstars battling for ranking.  The Viper Randy Orton is taking on Bobby Lashley.  This one went a lot longer and the fans were ok with that.  For 3 minutes, both men went toe to toe but after Bobby nailed a huge powerslam, that changed everything.  Randy kept the fight going but he was not on all cylinders.  Both men ended up on the outside of the ring numerous times but made it back in each time.  After taking a beating, Orton could not continue after being planted with a powerslam from Bobby. Lashley made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  (15 min)

GM Max McGillicutty says that #CJ is crossing the line with his stupid-ass attitude.  Next show, #CJ will get a taste of humble pie.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  Desperado member El Chango comes out and is in singles action tonight.  He is a contender for the X-Division title held by Tyler Breeze.  El Chango heads down accompanied by his tag team partner the Stache.  X-Division Champ Tyler Breeze heads down.  It is apparent that the Desperados are the favorites.  For 16 minutes, El Chango had the champs number and beat him from pillar to post.  However, the tide changed when MJ came out and spoke into a mic “Desperados, you days are numbered.  The 6 Man Tag Team Champs the Ascension want to remind you that they will want their rematch and one day, you’ll have to pay the piper.”  While El Chango was distracted, the Stache is attacked by the Ascension and they hit the Fall of Man on him on the floor.  As soon as El Chango noticed what was going on, Breeze took him down with a massive chop.  Breeze makes the cover and gets the win.  El Chango went to assist the Stache and they left to get him checked out.  (20 min)

In the interview area, the Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky) say that it’s time to make a name for themselves again and say they want Jupiter Jane and Madame Jade in the ring.  They will prove to them who the first ladies of wrestling really are.

Next on the card is Ryback taking on the Big Show.  Ryback was in the ring first and then came Big Show.  Show was laughing at Ryback as he walked to the ring.  Ryback took offense and immediately went after him.  Both men battled hard and Ryback was definitely more aggressive than he’s been in the past.  At the 8 minute mark, Show throws Ryback out of the ring.  The other Enforcers (Samoa Joe and Mark Henry) come out on stage.  Big Show turns to watch them but then Ryback hits him with the Meathook.   He makes the cover and gets the 3 count.  Ryback stands over Big Show and then turns and leaves.  (9 min)

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that he won’t make Joe work tonight but since Mark Henry wants to make his presence known, he has a match tonight. Mark heads to the ring and asks who his opponent is.  Max introduces John Cena.  This match will be for Henry’s placement for the US title.  Cena comes out and is received with mixed reaction from the fans.  Mark cheated more in hopes of getting more of the boos but Cena went toe to toe with him.  At the 10 minute mark, Henry and Cena were brawling on the outside of the ring.  Henry then smashed John’s head into the ringside steps.  He then rolled back in to beat the 10 count.  Mark Henry gets the win at 10:30 via countout.  John was bleeding pretty bad from his nose (we think it may be broken).  Henry laughed as he left the ring. 

Hardcore Champion Magnum Kone was reading a list of those wrestlers who are in a line for a shot at his title.  He looked over the list once, twice and finally settled on someone.  He said that tonight, he is defending his hardcore title in the main event against…the Nigerian Wraith.

We go back to the ring for our next match which has Madame Jade & Jupiter Jane taking on the Beautiful People (Angelina Love & Velvet Sky).  Jane & Jade held their own for 7 minutes until Taylor Bella came out.  She took a chair from one of the fans at ringside and went to swing it at Jupiter Jane in hopes of taking her out.  Jade saw what was coming and dove in front of the chair shot taking it for her partner.  Taylor looked pleased nonetheless and after returning the chair to the fan, she left. Jane was on her own against the Beautiful People and try as she could, she could not withstand the double teaming from the veterans.   The end came after Angelina Love connected with a top rope cross body block rolling Jane up (and with a handful of tights) gets the 1-2-3.  Love and Sky then leave the ring.  Jupiter Jane was able to recover and she went out to help Madame Jade (who was busted open from the chair shot) to the back for medical attention.  (10 min)

It is time for the main event but wait…out comes #CJ.  He storms down to the ring but doesn’t get in the ring.  He goes to sit at commentary.  The Nigerian Wraith (Sonic Blade was not there) came down first and then was followed out by the Champion. The Hardcore champ gave ice cream to the fans (kids and adults alike) at ringside before getting in the ring.  He announced that the stipulation for this match would be a Bull Rope match (both men are connected together by a bull rope).  The bell rings and Wraith immediately tries to choke out Magnum Kone.  Kone battled back (much to the chagrin of #CJ) and popped Wraith a few times with the cowbell.  Wraith just kept kicking out.  Magnum hits the Wraith with the popsicle (piledriver) but Wraith kicked out at the last second.  Magnum then threw him into the corner and hit the Ice Cream Sandwich (splash in corner).  Wraith collapses and Magnum makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Magnum Kone is victorious in his title defense.  #CJ gets up from commentary and rushes the ring attacking the King of Cones.  #CJ blasts Magnum with the ringside bell (GONG!) and then picks up the hardcore title but then makes like he’s wiping his ass with it.  He then drops it on Magnum before leaving.   Before he can leave the ring, over the loudspeaker blares “If you Smelllllllll….what the Rock…is…cookin” and #CJ says he won’t be fooled twice.  He turns to go get a mic and standing in front of him is…THE ROCK!  Rock blasts #CJ with lefts and rights and then tosses him to the ropes but #CJ holds on and then jumps out of the ring to avoid further beating.  He swears and screams at the Rock as he makes his way backwards up the ramp.  Rock remains in the ring motioning “Bring It” but #CJ won’t have any of it.  The show then comes to an end.

Stay tuned as things are really heating up for the August PPV “Clash of the Champions”.  More to follow. 

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.03

Hello fans and welcome back to the newsletter.  The show begins backstage with Tyson Kidd storming into GM Max McGillicutty’s office.  He demands a match with Xavier Woods tonight.  Max says the match will happen but with the dawning of a new day (pun intended), Tyson better find backup…just in case.

The first match of the evening is tag team action with Sonic Blade & the Nigerian Wraith taking on the A-Team’s Antonio Cesaro and Adrian Neville.  The A-Team go on the offensive immediately and after only two offensive moves from Blade and Wraith, the A-team beat them mercilessly…for 5 minutes.  Cesaro gets the pin on Blade after hitting him with a cradle facebuster.

In the interview area in the back, The Steel Curtain say that with their last non-title match over the champs, they are next in line for a title shot.  The Ascension with MJ walk over and say that they have yet to get their rematch.   They challenge the Steel Curtain for their shot at the PPV. Max comes over and says if they win tonight, they will pull double duty at the PPV as Prestige Inc. have already demanded their rematch at the PPV.

Next on the card is Southern Belle vs Cactus Jackie.  Jackie immediately attacked Belle before the bell and the ref finally got the match officially started.  Belle battled back and for the first 4 minutes, took control but after Jackie eye raked her, she then took over on the offensive for the next 7 minutes.  Belle finally caught a break and evened the score.  Jackie pulled Belle out of the ring and then repeatedly rammed her back into the steel post.  She rolled her back in and then locked in the desert stretch.  Holding the ropes for leverage, she got Belle, who was in excruciating pain, to tap out.  Jackie gets the win via submission in 17 minutes and takes her spot in the Diva’s top 10 while Belle moves down in the rankings.

R-Truth and Sting are in the back talking about how things have not gone their way since Wyatt’s Warriors broke up.  Truth and Sting say they should give it a shot on their own as a team and see how things go.

Enforcer member Ryback comes out and says he’s destroyed everyone in his path and screams “Feed Me More”.  He mocks the performers backstage when no one immediately comes out.  Just as he is getting ready to leave the ring, out comes Bobby Lashley.  Bobby says “You want more?  I’ll give you more.”  He gets in the ring and our next match begins.  Bobby owns the match until Big Show makes his way down.  Ryback is distracted and yells at Show.  Bobby then grabs Ryback and hits a Full Nelson lift and slam and covers Ryback for the 1-2-3.  The other Enforcers (Samoa Joe and Mark Henry) run down but Bobby gets out of there pretty quick.  The Enforcers help Ryback to his feet and then leave.

In the back, Big Van Vader is saying that Brock was directly responsible for him not winning the World title.  He issues a challenge to Brock (who is not here) saying he will defeat the Beast for the IC title or he will leave.

Next on the card is the ‘revenge’ match between Tyson Kidd and Xavier Woods.  Xavier came to the ring with this New Day teammates first.  Tyson came out second alone but stopped on the ramp.  He said that he had to search high and low but he found two guys who agreed to watch his back…out comes R-Truth and Sting.  Truth and Sting force Big E and Kofi Kingston part of the way up the ramp to keep them from the ring.  The match stayed pretty even for 9 minutes until Tyson hit Xavier with a slap to the face and Xavier countered with a Lost in the Woods.  2 minutes later, Xavier nails a swinging cradle suplex and gets the 1-2-3.  Woods is victorious.  He leaves and then pushes his way past Sting and R-Truth and celebrates with his teammates on the ramp.  R-Truth and Sting help Tyson up and then leave.  (11 min)

Brock arrives in the back and is met by GM Max McGillicutty.  He tells Brock about Vader’s comments.  Lesnar agrees to fight him tonight and after Vader loses, he will go back to the obscurity he came from.

The World Tag Team Champions the Desperados came out and said that they were there to scout the next two matches since all the teams eventually want title shots. 

First, out comes the Attitude Adjustment (Abyss and Adam Rose).  Abyss is scolding Rose telling him that he will start and Rose can just sit on the outside…this one time.  Their opponents come out at it is R-Truth and Sting.  What started off as a sleeper really turned into one of the best matches of the night.  All 4 men saw action in the ring and held their own.  Both teams traded the lead but neither could score the pin.  After a 30 minute beatdown, the bell rings bringing this one to an end via time limit draw.  The fans really enjoyed what they saw here (as well as the Tag Team Champs) and gave both teams a standing ovation.  All 4 men actually shook hands after the match.  (30 min draw)

As those teams left, our next match begins.  This time it’s the Ascension with MJ taking on the Steel Curtain.  At risk is the title shot that the Steel Curtain are supposed to get.  If the Ascension win, they will be wrestling twice on the card.  This was another hard fought match that actually saw Starbuck Steel get injured at the hands of MJ.  Towards the end of the match, MJ had snuck behind Starbuck and hit him in the head with a steel chair knocking him out.  The Desperados tried to intervene and inform the ref but was too busy attending to Starbuck.  The Ascension then attacked the Desperados and had the upper hand till Buzz Steel ran over with a chair of his own and knocked out Konnor and Viktor.  Buzz rolled Viktor back in and got the ref’s attention.  He then hit a german suplex and hooked the leg for the 1-2-3.  The Steel Curtain will still get their title shot at the PPV.  MJ, who had gotten mouthy with Buzz Steel, didn’t see a recovered Starbuck standing behind him.  As MJ started to back off, he bumped into Starbuck who hit MJ with some lefts and rights and threw him to the ropes but Konnor pulled MJ from harm and they and Viktor left the ring swearing and telling the Steel Curtain they’d get even.  (23 minutes for the match; 30 for the segment)

In the back, GM Max McGillicutty reprimands the Ascension and MJ for their cowardly attacks and MJ threatens Max saying he’d better watch himself or he’d be out on disability before he knows it.

It is time for the main event.  Intercontinental Champion Brock Lesnar is taking on Big Van Vader for the IC title.   Just as both men got to the ring, out comes the HWF World and Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt.  He is dragging his rocking chair behind him.  He angles it towards the ring and sits down to watch.  Vader started off strong for 2 minutes and then ran out of gas.  Lesnar then took over and beat the holy hell out of him.  Both men hit some power moves (Vader hit the Vader bomb a few times but couldn’t capitalize on it) and Brock watched as Vader kicked out of the F-5.  Finally, an exhausted Vader stumbled into a Press and Slam (pretty vicious slam at that) and Brock covered him for the 1-2-3.  Brock Lesnar retains his title and Vader is now gone.  Brock looks up the ramp only to see that Bray is no longer there.  Bray, in fact, was standing behind him in the ring and then swung the rocking chair at Brock and it exploded.  Brock drops and Bray picks him up and hits Sister Abigail.  He makes a mock cover and counts 1…2…3 by himself and then stands over Lesnar with both titles raised high as the show comes to an end.

We want to also point out that we are approaching our 400^th issue of this newsletter since I started all this over a decade ago.  Issue 8.8 (right before the PPV) will be the 400^th issue and starting with that one, we will change from using a monthly designation to the ongoing number of the issue.  The PPV will end up being Issue #401. 

Stay tuned as we know this is only going to get more interesting as time goes on.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.02

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  It is official that #CJ vs The Rock will indeed take place at the Clash of the Champions PPV and joins Brock vs Bray and the Ascension & Kane vs Prestige Inc. on the card.  Over the next few shows, the remaining matches will be decided. 

The show begins with a taped vignette from Bray Wyatt:

“At Payback, Brock locked me in a box. And as I peered into the darkness, my memories began to haunt me. And I felt the cold hand of the reaper breathe down. I was afraid. But then I began to remember her (Abigail) face. And how she used to warn me about this evil place. And how she said that 'they're going to circle you in the water, Bray, just until they see red. But those sharks, they're the ones who are going to help you realize that death is real. And in death, Bray, you will find your rest. But in your rebirth, you will grow much stronger and you will learn to accept these new great responsibilities. You will become their leader,' she said. 'Your voice will soothe their ears and your hand will lead their armies. For you are the way into the City of Woe. You are the way to go among the lost. Beyond time, Bray, you stand.' There's nothing left to fear. Brothers and sisters... I am reborn. Join me.”

The first match on the card is Xavier Woods and Tyson Kidd taking on the team of Kofi Kingston and the newly arrived Big E. Langston.  Big E gets injured leaving Kofi by himself.  Xavier and Tyson double team Kofi and then toss him out of the ring where he gets counted out.  Xavier Woods and Tyson Kidd get the win in 3 ½ minutes via Countout.  Tyson Kidd was standing on the second rope showboating until a recovered Big E attacked Kidd.  Xavier steps in front of Big E and gets him to stop.  Xavier turns around and kicks Tyson in the face.  WHAT THE???  Xavier Woods and just turned on his partner.  Woods then stands with Kofi and Big E.  Xavier takes a mic.  “Today is a NEW DAY.  We are going to take the 6 Man team by storm.  We ARE ‘the New Day’.  We are the Future.”  The three pose for the crowd and leave to the booing from them.

Kevin Owens cuts a promo and tells Joe not to forget about him.  Joe walks up to him and says he wants Owens to go away.  Joe agrees to a title match but if Owens loses, Joe is done with him.  Owens agrees and say he wants that match tonight.  Joe agrees.

We head to the ring for our next match.  Mr. Wrestling #5 comes out first.  He is then followed by the newest HWF acquisition Uhaa Nation.   Nation gets a pretty decent pop but Mr. Wrestling 5 took the match to Nation and beat him silly.  MW5 schooled the youngster for 16 minutes and ended up nailing a front chancery to get the 1…2…3.  MW5 is victorious. 

#CJ is backstage kicking over boxes and tables.  He paces back and forth as he waits for his next match.

We head back to the ring for the next match.  Wade Barrett comes out first and is followed by his opponent Rockstar Spud.  Barrett begins the match with nearly taking off Spud’s head with a big boot to the face.  He continued the beatdown until Jack Swagger, the newest member of Team WTF, came out.  Barrett, distracted by Jack’s appearance, climbs the turnbuckle to yell at Swagger. Spud charges him and nails a running corner forearm shot.  Barrett falls down and Spud makes the cover to get the 1…2…3.  Spud gets the win and takes off just as Barrett starts to stir.  (14 min).  Swagger leaves with a smirk on his face.

In the interview area, Paige approaches Diva’s champion Taylor Bella and says she wants a match tonight.  Before Taylor could say anything, GM Max McGillicutty walks over and makes the match.  However, the title will not be on the line tonight.

We go back to the ring for our next match.  Ethan Carter III makes his way out and is booed.  His opponent, #CJ, follows and is booed even louder.  #CJ flips everyone off as he makes his way to the ring.  He still has that over-emphasized eyebrow still drawn on his face.  He immediately attacks ECIII and the match begins.  Everything that #CJ threw at Carter was met with equal ferocity.  At about the 7 minute mark, over the loud speaker blares “If you smellllll….”.  #CJ gets all pissed off and jumps outside the ring.  He hollers for the Rock to come down.  The ref counts and finally reaches 10 and counts #CJ out.  The match is awarded to ECIII.  #CJ, realizing he just got trumped, jumps back in the ring and hits ECIII with a hangman’s DDT.   He yells at practically everyone before giving up and leaving the ring. 

CSWA champ Samoa Joe says that tonight, this whole thing between him and Kevin Owens ends tonight. 

Diva’s Champion Taylor Bella comes out first and then is followed by Paige.  Madame Jade and Jupiter Jane both come out and sit at commentary.  Taylor looks nervous.  It was just a façade.  Taylor immediately took the match to Paige which put her on the defensive.  At the six minute mark, Taylor hits a sunset flip and with a hook of the tights, gets the 3 count.  Taylor gets the win.  Madame Jade and Jupiter Jane both stood up and stared at the champ but ended up leaving first without altercation.   Taylor celebrated before leaving on her own.

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that our main event, up next, will be the final showdown between Joe and Kevin Owens.   If Owens does not win here, he is out of the title hunt and Joe can then move on to other business. This will be a best of 3 falls, 60 minutes match. Owens comes out first and then is followed by the champ Samoa Joe.  Joe starts off with choking Kevin on the top rope.  He then immediately locks in a rear naked choke and Kevin taps out…just after 2 minutes.  Joe gets the first fall.  The next fall goes 21 minutes and is also dominated by the champ.  Joe secures the second fall after hitting Kevin with a running knee to the face.  Joe retains the title in a combined 23 minute match.  Kevin leaves as Joe celebrates with his title in the ring.

Austin Aries then comes out and makes his way to the ring while Joe is celebrating.  Austin climbs in the ring and gets a mic.  He then tells Joe that he did not earn that title by defeating him, the rightful champion.  Aries says he is still the champ as Hogan stole the belt from him.  Joe pie-faces Austin and the two start to brawl.  Suits from the back came out and broke the fight up.  The two kept trying to go after each other but the appearance of the Enforcers (Ryback and Mark Henry) and the X-Factor (Christopher Daniels & AJ Styles) saw this one settle down pretty quick as the show came to an end.

That’s all for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 08.01

The show begins with the announcement that wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper has passed away.  The bell rings 10 times in a moment of silence. We at the HWF and CSWA extend our condolences to his family.

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  After reviewing all the evidence and with the help of (our forensic accountant and investigator) Gardenia Blue, Hulk Hogan has been fired as GM of the CSWA.  The evidence provided shows that Hogan acted inappropriately with intent of malice and bias overstepping his bounds as a General Manager.  Effective immediately, GM Max McGillicutty is now the sole GM for both brands.  The owners will contemplate if they want to hire a replacement for the CSWA GM position but for now, Max has got both groups.

Our first match of the night is the Band (the Axe and Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon) vs Sami Zayn and Dolph Ziggler.  The Band comes out and are booed.  Ziggler and Zayn come out to a nice pop.  Zayn and Ziggler took the match to the Band and was well on their way to victory until Axe and Zayn began brawling on the outside of the ring.  Axe nails Zayn with the Axe and then threw him into the steps.  Axe rolls back in as the ref counts 9 and Zayn gets counted out.  The Band pick up a victory.  Devon tried to go after the injured Zayn but Ziggler stood in his path and Dirk ended up backing off.

Roving reporter Clarkus Kentus is in the ring and says that his guest tonight is the #1 box office sensation.  Music hits…If you Smellllllllllll what the Rock is cookin.  But it’s not the Rock who comes out.  Its #CJ dressed as the Rock.  #CJ has a raised eyebrow DRAWN on his face but (looks like part of the M from McDonald’s logo) (the rock likes to stare at the camera with an eyebrow raised) and he struts down to the ring.  Clarkus looks confused.  #CJ takes the mic.  “Finally, the people’s pebble has come back to…where the hell are we…the stinkpot of the US?”  The crowd boos.  “It doesn’t matter what you like or don’t like.  The People’s Pebble has spoken.  The People’s Pebble says that you all SUCK.  The People’s Pebble says that Pebblewood (Hollywood) isn’t for me but I’m going to run back there with my tail tucked between my legs because…why you ask?  IT DOESN’T MATTER but I AM afraid of #CJ.  I’m afraid of what he’ll do to my pretty little face.  He IS the man’s man and I can’t hold a candle to him.  However, a challenge was issued and if I don’t want to look like a pansy, I must accept.  #CJ will kick my ass; no doubt.  I will run back to Pebblewood; no doubt.  I can’t go to my home at the CRAPdown Hotel; but will go to my other home at Know MY role Blvd and I’m Afraid St.  #CJ, the former hardcore champion, will beat me from pillar to post and you know what, like a chump, I’ll take it.  I’ll lay down when I’ve had enough because the REAL #PC will show me that I’m…not…worthy.  If you smell…what the pebble…has in his pants…whoa, glad I wore brown today.”  #CJ drops the mic and leaves. (#People’sPebble and #poopypants were both trending).

We cut to the back where Layla El is hollering that she hasn’t been used lately and calls out Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel.  Natalya walks over and tells her to shut her trap.  Layla challenges her to a match but the loser must quit wrestling.  Natalya looks concerned but then agrees to the match.  Layla storms off.

Next on the card is Sonic Blade & the Nigerian Wraith vs the Steel Curtain for placement in the tag team rankings.  At the beginning of the match, the Wraith gets “hurt” and a concerned Buzz Steel goes to check on him.  Sonic Blade dropkicks him out the ring and he lands hard on the steel steps.  Buzz ends up getting counted out.  (3 ½ min)  The Wraith was faking the injury.  Both had a laugh at the Steel Curtain’s expense.  Starbuck Steel gets in their face and immediately challenges them to another match.  Wraith and Blade accept.  This time, the Steel Curtain didn’t hold back and they battled with the Wraith and Blade to a 30 minute draw.  The Curtain were destroying Blade and Wraith and fortunately for them, the bell rang to prevent any further beat downs.  Blade & Wraith hightailed it out of there as soon as the match was declared a draw.

In the back, ‘Main Event’ Buff Austin purposely runs into Kurt Angle.  Austin berates Angle telling him to watch where he’s going or he’d have to teach him a lesson.  Angle says “Ok, teach me a lesson Mr. Main Event.  By the way, we’re the main event tonight.”  Angle walks away and Austin is left pondering what he just got himself into.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  The Bulgarian Bully Alexander Rusev vs. Big E Langston.  This is the shortest match of the night that sees Rusev get the win after he powerbombed Big E on the exposed concrete floor and Big E got counted out.  (90 seconds)  Rusev proudly waves his flag as he leaves the ring.

Buff Austin, in talking to reporter Larry Morton, says that Kurt Angle has made it REAL, DAMN REAL and he’s going to show him the meaning of respect even if he has to beat the tar out of him to get it. 

We go to the ring for the match with a career on the line.  Natalya vs Layla El for a contender shot at the Women’s title.  Layla attacks Natalya before the bell and the ref finally starts the match.  Max comes out and says that with a career on the line, this has to carry more weight so the person losing her job will be the one who says ‘I Quit’.   Natalya starts off with hitting the Nattie by Nature for a 2 count.  She hits a discuss punch for another 2 count but Layla hits the Layout and in a nonchalant cover, only gets 2.  She gets up and starts to threaten the ref.   Natalya hits another Nattie by Nature and then locks Layla in an octopus stretch in the middle of the ring.  Try as she might, Layla could not reach the ropes.  She had no choice but to tap out.  Layla El is now gone from the HWF/CSWA.  Natalya now is in line for a title shot at the Women’s title.  (7 min)

GM Max McGillicutty has hired a new wrestler for the HWF.  His name is Uhaa Nation.  He will be debuting at the next show.  Max is then approached by Big E who asks to be traded to the HWF where he can find new challenges.  Max agrees and moves Goldust to the CSWA.  Goldust was in line for an IC title shot but now that spot will go to Big E and Goldust gets Big E’s Hardcore title shot.

It is time for the main event.  First, out comes the Olympic Hero Kurt Angle.  Then, over the loudspeaker blares “It’s time for the MAIN EVENT” and out comes Buff Austin.  The match took a while to start because Austin refused to get in the ring.  Finally, after Angle chased him around the ring (pretty silly looking on Buff’s part), he got in the ring.  The ref rang the bell and Austin began beating Angle down as he entered the ring.  He continued the beat down for 5 minutes.  Finally, Angle had enough and hit an Angle Slam.   He lowered his shoulder strap and then waited for Buff to get up.  As soon as Buff got to his feet, Kurt hits a second Angle Slam and gets the 1.2.3 in the middle of the ring.  (7 min).  Kurt celebrates in the ring until Buff Austin attacks him beating him down.   Austin drops him with the Pain Killer and then incapacitates him with the 5 point palm explosion.  Austin stands over Angle as the show comes to a close.

Thanks for reading.  Stay tuned as there is sure to be fallout from all of this.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2015 – 07.09

We immediately begin with Austin Aries calling for an emergency meeting with GM Max McGillicutty and asks for the owners Donald Bychowski and Jeff Meyers to be present.  Aries presents evidence (procured with the assistance of our forensic accountant / investigator Gardenia Blue) that for no reason, Hogan stripped him of his title and suspended him causing him loss of pay, face and stature.  The owners, after reviewing the evidence at hand, see this as a huge injustice and put Hogan on administrative leave effective immediately pending further investigation.

The show begins with Brock Lesnar heading to the ring and he calls out Bray Wyatt.   Bray’s voice comes over the loudspeaker.

Wyatt: In the morning, two stars will rise. One speaks the truth, the other tells lies.

Lesnar: Shut your mouth and get out here now!

Bray comes out. (laughs) “Hello to you too, Brock -- and what a fiery temper it is you have. Huh? You know -- you want answers but haven't the capacity to comprehend their meaning. Oh how quickly we forget! It should have been me last night, ascending that ‘ladder of greatness’, and cementing my destiny. But, you Brock...you locked me in a damn box.”

“Not long ago, you meddled in my fight against Sting!  I could've been that beacon of truth that this world so desperately needs -- But you selfishly denied me. My fight with Vader…denied.  I think it's that ego of yours, that ego that makes you do such crazy things. Come to think of it, you remind me of someone I knew a very very long time ago. He too was the chosen one, and his people, they believed -- they believed that this chosen one would lead them to paradise. He was chosen, but was then cast aside.  Take your pick – John Cena, Sting, Undertaker…

Now we know they made the wrong choice in taking ME on -- and if you don't believe me, all you have to do is look outside your window -- because then you will see that this, that all of this, is no paradise. In fact I call it total destruction, don't you think?

Just like you and I Brock, opposites.

I am the yin to your yang -- we balance this whole thing out, man. Whether you're willing to admit it or not, we feed off each other. That's how I knew. That's how I knew at the Bash when I saw you come down and attack Sting and at Payback, you stole my spotlight.

I will tempt you. I will lie to you. I will haunt you, and ultimately I will destroy you – just like I’ve done with everyone else man. But not tonight, no. I mean, what kind of an example would we be setting if we…?

Bray starts to laugh and then sings: “I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. Mhm.  Patience Brock, (he gets serious) our fun is just getting started. He laughs again but then becomes serious.  “RUN”.

Brock actually starts to back off and Bray continues to laugh but that ends with Brock BLASTING Bray with a spear and then drops him with the F-5.  .  He sees both the HWF World and Undisputed Championships on the ground.  He picks them both up.  Brock then stands over Bray Wyatt with both titles raised as the fans explode out of their seats.  Brock looks at Bray on the ground and just says “YOU Run.”  He drops the titles and leaves.

In the back, Prestige Inc. (with Ravishing Raquel) demand their rematch but they want it at the PPV.

We head back to the ring for our first match which has the Miz defending the US title against A-Team member Antonio Cesaro.  The Miz still has not found his title (was taken by someone in disguise.  We never did figure out who it was).  Enforcer member Mark Henry attacked Cesaro before the match hitting a huge powerslam on the floor.  He then rolled Cesaro into the ring.  It only took 3 minutes for Miz to nail the ‘Mizard of Oz’ and get the 1-2-3.  The Fiend comes out and tells Miz he knows who took the title (still claims it wasn’t him) but the only way he’ll ever see the title again is to give him a title match at the Clash.  Before Miz could turn him down, GM Max McGillicutty came out and made it official.  Miz had no say in the matter.

In the back, Women’s champion Ravishing Raquel says that she’s beaten everyone thrown in front of her and says that there isn’t anyone else for her to beat.  Over walks Awesome Kong.  Kong reminds her that they have unfinished business and since Raquel is due to defend her title tonight, Kong accepts and says she’ll meet her in the ring.

Wade Barrett comes out and calls out Jack Swagger to account for his actions.  Swagger comes out and tries to apologize but Barrett won’t let him finish.  He says that Swagger cost them their match and it is all his fault.  Barrett then attacks Swagger but a save comes from an unlikely source.  Team WTF run down and chase Barrett away.   Team WTF ask Swagger if they want to join their ranks.  Swagger says that it is better to have teammates who have your back then try to go solo.  He accepts.

Austin Aries makes his way out and calls out the A-Team.  Antonio Cesaro, Adrian Neville and Alberto el Patron all come out.  Aries asks why his team abandoned him.  Adrian Neville says that the A-Team, in order to be an effective force, needs to be complete.  Since Aries was gone (or so they thought at the time), they turned to the one man who knows what it’s like to be a member of the A-Team.  Alberto says that he has brought stability to the team and they are a cohesive unit; unlike Aries and his ‘all about me’ attitude.   Aries says he understands but if that is the way they want to play it, he says fine.  Aries then says that he has always been about being eXemplary.  He says that he has two new teammates who also personify that X-Factor.  He says that the people he’s about to introduce are not friends but have a common goal.  He then says that his new team is the X-Factor and his team now includes….music hits and out comes Christopher Daniels – the Fallen Angel.  The crowd pops.  Aries says “can’t forget one more” and out comes…AJ Styles.  Aries, AJ and Daniels are the X-Factor and they will take on any team any time but they have their sights set on, first, the A-Team’s destruction and then winning the 6 man titles.  The A-Team back off and leave.

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that tonight, the X-Factor will debut against the team of the Uso’s and Eric Young.  The X-Factor remained at ringside as their opponents made their way to the ring. During the match, EY stayed in the ring doing a lot of the fighting but he was just no match for the X-Factor.  Lots of quick tags from the X-Factor warranted desperation from their opponents.  In the end, Daniels nails EY with a double knee gutbuster and rolls him up for the 1-2-3.  The X-Factor are victorious in their debut. (12 min)

Our next match on the card is Tajiri taking on Lucas Johnston.  This one went a lot longer than expected and was pretty darn close the entire match.  Both men visited the outside of the ring numerous times but were able to make it back in.  As the match was winding down, Lucas was running out of steam.  Finally he succumbed to the Kick of Death from Tajiri and was pinned clean in the middle of the ring.  (21 min)

In the back, Ryback tells GM Max that he wants Randy Orton tonight.  Max agrees and makes it the main event tonight.

Next up is the match for the Women’s Title.  Champion Ravishing Raquel is taking on Awesome Kong.  Max comes out and makes this a best of 3 falls match; 60 minute match.  This one went almost half the distance in just the first fall.  Raquel was looking as dominating as ever.  She took the match to Kong but it took her a long time to wear Kong down.  At the 28 minute mark, she locked in the Ravishing chickenwing and got Kong to tap out.  The second fall went an amazing 24 minutes and this time favored the challenger and after Kong bodyslammed Raquel in the ring, she got the pin.  This only leaves 6 minutes left and as expected, the time limit was reached.  This one ends in a draw.  Raquel looked beat up after all this and she grabbed her title and left quickly (60 min).

In the back, Randy Orton says that he welcomes the challenge from Ryback and will put him out to pasture.

Next up we have the American Wolves (Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards) taking on A-Team members Adrian Neville and Alberto el Patron.  In 16 minutes, the Wolves got the win after the X-Factor came out and caused a distraction for the A-Team.  Alberto was pissed.  Neville got pinned after Davey hit him with the Lungblower.

GM Max McGillicutty says that Samoa Joe will remain the CSWA World Champion but will be required to defend his title at the Clash against Austin Aries.

It is time for our main event.  Randy Orton vs. the Enforcers’ Ryback.  This one only went 7 minutes but Ryback was taking the match to the 3rd generation wrestler.  The tide turned, however, when the Shield (Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns) attacked Ryback on the outside of the ring.  Ryback ends up getting counted out after he could not answer the count.  Randy Orton wins this one.  He doesn’t seem to care too much as a win is a win for him.

That’s all for now.  Stay tuned as the road to the Clash of the Champions begins here.