HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.08 – Starcade is here – Day 1:

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We are coming to you LIVE from Starcade in merry ol’ London, England.  Wembley Stadium is packed to the rafters.  This place is literally busting at the seams.   I can tell you the fans here are electric.  Although we haven’t seen them yet, rumor has it that the ROYAL Family is in attendance.  The buzz that is going on here – you can feel it down into your bones.  It’s very exciting.  Pyro starts to go off and with that, the show begins.

GM Hulk Hogan makes his way to the stage. “Hello London Brothers.  The Hulkster is in the HOUSE.”  The fans pop and it takes almost a full minute before he can continue.  “The HWF and CSWA are proud to bring you STARCADE.  We will have 3 full days of action and I can promise you that no one is going to leave disappointed.  Each and every on-staff performer will be putting on a show like none other.  I invite you to sit back and enjoy the show.  WHATCHA GONNA DO, LONDON, WHEN THE HWF, CSWA AND HULKAMANAIA RUN WILD ON YOU?”  The fans pop again and we are ready for our first match of the evening.

The first event is going to be our Battle Royal where the winner will receive a future title shot. Participants include Bo Dallas, the Caped Crusader, David Otunga, Ethan Carter III, Kevin Steen, Jack Swagger, Kazarian, Malo Leche de Mantequilla, Mike Bennett, Robbie E, Rob Terry, Rockstar Spud, Tyson Kidd, Xavier Woods, Big E Langston, Christian, Christopher Daniels, Curtis Axel, Dean Ambrose, Epico Colon, Eric Young, Heath Slater, Jeff Hardy, Jey & Jimmy Uso, Ken Anderson, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, Primo Colon, Prince Devitt, Roderick Strong, Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, Tajiri, Tyler Breeze and Zack Ryder.  But wait, there is one person missing.  Yep, there he is…Droopy Balls McShonnessay.  The double ring is set up but just before it can begin, new music hits.  “BREAK THE WALLS DOWN” blares and out comes Chris Jericho.  “Welcome to London…is…Jericho.  I know I needed time off but I could not pass at making a contribution to our first ever overseas PPV.  Now that I’m here, we can get started.”  The bell rang.

The eliminations began almost immediately and within the first 5 minutes, over half had been eliminated. The surprise elimination of the night is Droopy Balls McShonnessay eliminating Malo Leche de Mantequilla.  The eliminations continued until there were 4 left…Mark Henry, Chris Jericho, Christopher Daniels and Curtis Axel.  (side note Tyler Breeze eliminated quite a few people).  Chris Jericho laid the chops on Henry and Mark got eliminated.  After a strong run of his own, Curtis Axel is suplexed outside the ring and is eliminated.  Jericho and Daniels put on a 5 star match that was practically even through their battle.  Jericho had been doing a lot of back damage to Daniels so when the Fallen Angle went for a dropkick, Jericho caught him mid-air and dropped him into the Walls of Jericho.  Chris locked Daniels in the middle of the ring but then slingshotted him right out of the ring for the win.  Chris Jericho is the winner of the Battle Royal.

We head to the back where Senor Vampiro is pacing.  He says that tonight, El Chango will feel the pain that comes from barb wire.  El Chango will suffer like none other and tonight, win or lose, this is their final battle.

We go back to the ring for our next match with Prestige Inc. members King Damian Sandow and Magnus taking on Goldust and Stardust.  The Dust Brothers have been trying to bring back the ferocity that Prestige Inc of old had and in this match, I think they succeeded.  Prestige turned on the heat and really beat the pants off the Dust Brothers.  In 15 minutes, Goldust is pinned after King Damian hits him with a spinning elbow drop.  His lordship is cheered by the fans and he and Magnus celebrate in the ring as the Dust Boys sulk to the back.

Alexander Rusev is backstage and as soon as he shows up on the Omegatron, the entire stadium boos him.  “You English dogs…you are just as bad as the American dogs.  I will destroy the Olympic champion Kurt Angle and will take his title to Mother Russia where President Putin will bestow on me the greatest of honors.  This I promise you.”  We couldn’t hear much after that as the fans were so loud, they drowned him out.  

We go back to the ring for our first title match of the night.  Casey Jones is defending the X-Division title against Adam Rose.  About 6 ½ minutes in, Adam Rose is on the outside of the ring and Tyler Breeze jumps in from the crowd and drops Rose resulting in a countout.  Tyler gets on the mic and tells Casey Jones that he was defending the title against the wrong person (meaning Rose never deserved it) and he wants the shot now.   However, Breeze says that Casey wins a lot of his matches by countout so he wants their match to be no DQ/CO.  Hulk Hogan comes out and says that Breeze is on the CSWA roster, not the HWF.  Hogan asks Tyler if he is willing to forgo a future US title shot to move rosters. Tyler says yes.  Hogan makes the move official and we have our next match.

Casey Jones vs Tyler Breeze for the X-Division title went 17 minutes and Casey was not prepared for the onslaught that followed.  Casey fought back but Tyler was uber-determined that tonight is his night.  Tyler catches Casey with an Implant DDT and 3 seconds later, we have a NEW X-DIVISON CHAMPION.  Tyler takes the belt, poses for a few moments and then leaves.  Casey is helped up and out of the ring.

CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle is in the back.  He says that he is looking forward to fighting Bray Wyatt for the Undisputed title; a title he hasn’t held in a very long time but he is not looking past Alexander Rusev.  Once Rusev is taken care of (It’s True, it’s DAMN true), Angle will look to his next fight.

We go back to the ring for our next title shot.  The North American Champion Big Show vs Ryback is a rematch for the title.  Ryback is accompanied to the ring by Shield teammates Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins.  Big Show is looking worried.  Ambrose and Rollins jump Big Show before the bell rings but Show shrugs them off and nails both with knockout punches.  The ref then sends them to the back and now Ryback is looking worried.  The champ showed why he was able to defeat Ryback the first time and had little issue doing it again.  Big Show retains the title after nailing a chokeslam and then stands tall with his foot on Ryback as the 1-2-3 is counted.  Big Show celebrates his win.

We cut backstage to an altercation transpiring. Tyler Breeze is flaunting his win saying that there was no way Casey jones would win once the CO stipulation is removed.  Casey walks into the dressing room and Tyler gets in his face saying “this is the guy who ended your streak…no FanBrongo or whatever his name was.  Me…Tyler Breeze.  Remember that name.”  It looked like the fight was going to continue but then #ConanJones walked in and got Casey out of there before anything else could go down.

Back in the ring, the barbwire cage is being put together. This is a nasty way of ending ones feud/career.  The structure is very unforgiving and we can promise you, blood will be spilt tonight.  El Chango comes out first and climbs into the structure.  Before Senor Vampiro makes his way out, the lights go off and a spotlight shines in the center of the ring…like the bat symbol but it’s not a bat…its…a….STACHE.  El Chango looks on in confusion.  Senor Vampiro comes out and now it’s on like Donkey Kong…or is it.  El Chango starts right off with an eye rake and a shooting star press and PINS Senor Vampiro in the ring.  He carefully climbs out of the cage and is victorious.  All this in under a minute.  Senor Vampiro is not happy.  El Chango tries to run but Vampiro catches up to him.  He whips him into the barbwire structure and El Chango is bleeding.  Vampiro drags him back into the ring and proceeds to wrap him in barb wire.  He then hits him with a barbwire bat, a barbwire steel chair and a barbwire kendo stick. By now, El Chango is bleeding profusely.  Vampiro nails a 3 inch punch that drops El Chango.  He then hits the 5 point palm explosion and El Chango is out.  Senor Vampiro, satisfied with his revenge, leaves the bloody mess that is El Chango behind.  El Chango is helped out of the ring by medics…Hey, that’s odd…one of the medics is wearing a mask. Why is a medic wearing a mask.  He turns and…Holy Cow…is that…The STACHE?  He helps take El Chango to the back.

As the ring is being cleaned and that abomination of a structure is being dismantled, we cut to the back for two separate interviews.   One is by Sting.  Sting is happy to be in London and knows that a title match could be in his future, but that means a loss has to be in Randy Orton’s.  Sting says he has one good solid run left in him and he will go out on top.

We cut to another interview area where Randy Orton is being interviewed.  Orton says he keeps getting passed up for title shots even though he is the only man capable of being the ‘face’ of any organization.  He wants, nay, deserves a title shot and if that means he goes through Sting, then so be it.  You can take it to the bank that Orton will have gold in his future.

The ring is cleaned up and we are ready for our next title match which is the Six Man Tag Team Champions the A-Team taking on Jay Lethal, Kenta and Sanada for the titles.  The A-team brought the A-game but it wasn’t enough to get a 3 count.  Abyss, Cesaro and Aries all hit their ending moves but the quick work of their opponents kept them still in the game.  Just as the 30 minute time limit bell rang, Cesaro hits a cradle facebuster and we think he’s got it but when the ref counted to 2, the bell rang signaling a time limit draw.   Lethal and the Asian Exchange could be in line for a future rematch.

GM Hulk Hogan says that so far, he’s extremely pleased and impressed by these wrestlers.  He says that Sting vs Orton is pivotal but Angle has so much more on the line than just the title.  He is representing all of America and he will have his hands full.  Hogan says that he will have a special surprise for Kurt Angle.

We go to the ring for the first of our two main events.  First, out comes Randy Orton.  Orton is getting booed as he makes his way to the ring. He is then followed by the ICON – Sting.  Sting gets one of the best pops of the night.  The two men meet in the ring and are staring nose to nose.  The bell rings and we are off.  This one was nothing short of a good ol’ fashioned fight.  Orton nailed an RKO right off the bat but could not keep the Stinger down.  Sting battled back and got Orton into the Scorpion death lock.  Orton, screaming in pain, somehow made it to the ropes but his back was never the same after that.  Sting got Orton up to the top turnbuckle and then nailed a side slam down to the mat.  Orton was squirming in pain.  Sting made the cover and got the 1-2-3.  Sting defeated Randy Orton in 12 minutes to win a future title shot.

It is time for the Best of 3 Falls MAIN EVENT.  First, the challenger: hailing from Bulgaria and Russia (he claims to have dual citizenship now), the Bulgarian Bully Alexander Rusev!  Rusev makes his way down to the ring carrying both the Russian and Bulgarian flag.  Around his neck is a chain and attached to that is an 8x10 of President Vladimir Putin.   The London fans do not like Rusev and they are sure to make their voices heard.  Kurt’s music hits and the CSWA World Champion makes his way to the ring.  He has a smaller version of the American Flag draped across his shoulders.  His pyro goes off and then his music stops.  Hogan comes out and says “This is for you, brother” and then leaves.  All of a sudden, new music comes on and it is ‘Real American’.  Kurt turns to offer the Peace sign to Hogan and then heads to the ring.  The London fans are 100% behind Kurt.  Kurt hands off the flag and his title.  The ref attaches the Russian chain to Kurt but before it can be attached to Rusev, the Bulgarian Bully bashes Kurt with the chain.  The ref is trying to get him to back off  but Rusev is relentless.  All of a sudden, the old 60’s Batman music begins to play and out comes the Caped Crusader.  “Rusev, you bully.  I told you I would not stand for this and it appears to me you need to be taught a lesson.  I’ve gotten permission from GM Hulk Hogan to also make this a Lumberjack style match.  Let me introduce you to the lumberjacks.”  All of a sudden 20 people come out all dressed like the different versions of Batman.  There’s the Christian Bale Batman, the Clooney, Kilmer, Frank Miller’s version, along with a slew of others.  “Justice.  We will be here to keep the peace.”  Angle went on the offensive but then so did Rusev.  The Batmen on the outside didn’t get involved; only made sure the fight would be a fair one.  After Angle lowered his straps, he turned on the intensity and then walked right into the Accolade and got pinned in the middle of the ring in 19 minutes. Angle was busted up.  The second fall was all Kurt Angle and after choking Rusev with the chain, Kurt covered him for the 1-2-3 in 17 minutes.  The third fall was the shortest of them all.  Kurt kept the intensity up and in only 5 minutes, nailed Rusev with the Siberian Husky head smash and covered him for the pin.  Kurt Angle retains the CSWA World title in a battle from Hell.  The ref freed Kurt from the chain and the Batmen got in the ring and paraded Angle around on their shoulders as confetti and Real American played again.

That is the end of Day 1.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.07 – the Road to Starcade

Hello fans, this is going to be a short issue as we recap the happenings on the road to Starcade.  As we mentioned in the last issue, Droopy Balls McShonnessay was only able to get a flight to London (he is not an official member of the roster so he had to cover his own airfare) via a prop plane.  As of day one of the Fan Fest, he still is not here. 

On the plane ride over, there was a bit of comedy relief going on as it turns out that Axe and Dirk Devon’s seats were all the way in the back and both sat right next to the restroom for the ENTIRE flight.  I guess Rocky Lapetus got the last laugh on that one.

During day one of the fan fest, a couple of altercations occurred.  Even though the performers were spread throughout the venue, most of the newbies (new to the federations) sat close to each other.  Apparently, MVP thought he was a true MVP and deserved to be in the same room as the champions but that was not the case.  MVP and Bram decided to interrupt the signings at the Miz-fit table.  Jealous that they didn’t have anyone at their table, they tried to start something with the Fiend and the Miz.  Security was on hand and diffused the situation before someone did something they might regret.  An interesting note, the Fiend had a LOT of people (mostly Misfit fans) at his table and Miz got to partake some of that by association.  Also noteworthy, the Caped Crusader, Southern Belle and (making his first public appearance) the Stache all had an abundance of fans at their tables.  Speaking of Caped Crusader, you’ll never guess who actually approached him for an autograph…it was none other than our past and present ‘Batman’ actors.  In attendance were Ben Affleck, Christian Bale, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and, yes, Adam West.  All the actors took pictures with the Caped Crusader in what was surely the biggest surprise / highlight of the fan fest.   

In a separate part of the building, ‘the original Big Daddy’ Donnie B and MW3 were signing autographs but they were rudely interrupted by Malo Leche de Mantequilla and his phony Phlyers.   Malo caused such a ruckus that it caused GM Hulk Hogan to come over and along with his meat shield, physically removed the team.

Day 2 of the fan fest had no major complaints.  The place was packed and everyone on the HWF and CSWA rosters made some extra spending money.  There was a bit of tension between Cactus Jackie and Fusion Valentine who happened to be sitting next to each other but they both acted like professionals.  Droopy Balls McShonnessay finally arrived and looked like death warmed over.  He was able to sign just enough autographs to cover cab fare back to the airport much less a flight home.  (Editor’s note: his ‘GoFundMe’ page is still live if you feel sorry enough for him and want to donate.)

Here is how the 3 day card will go.  The card line up is subject to change.  If one day runs short, matches could be moved between days.

Friday

·         Battle Royal for anyone not in a single or tag team match

·         Prestige Inc. vs the Dust Brothers

·         Casey Jones vs Adam Rose for the X-Division title

·         North American Champion Big Show vs Ryback in a rematch for the title

·         Senor Vampiro vs El Chango in a barb wire match.

·         Six Man Champions the A-Team vs Jay Lethal, Kenta and Sanada for the title

·         Cross Promotional Match - Sting vs Randy Orton

·         CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle vs Alexander Rusev in a Russian Chain match

Saturday

·         Women’s battle Royal (Fusion Valentine, Gail Kim, Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Angelina Love, Natalya Neidhart, and Layla El.)

·         HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt vs Kane

·         Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel vs Cactus Jackie

·         #Conan Jones vs Adrian Neville

·         The Elitist Reid Rothchild vs Professor Cobra.  The title was held up and they will battle for the championship.

·         Wyatt’s Warriors vs Beer Money

·         Champs AJ Styles (US) and Dolph Ziggler (IC) vs.  Samoa Joe & Daniel Bryan. Champions must score the pin or they both lose their titles.

·         John Cena vs Brock Lesnar in a steel cage match

Sunday

·         The Miz-Fits vs Bram & MVP

·         HWF vs CSWA World Champions to see who will fight for the Undisputed title.  If Bray retains against Kane, then whomever wins between Angle and Rusev will meet Bray for the Undisputed Heavyweight title.

·         Women’s Champion AJ Lee vs Spider Violet

·         Dirk ‘the pick’ Devon & the Axe vs Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley

·         Hardcore Champion Sheamus vs Wade Barrett

·         Master Bull vs Hulk Hogan for the full managerial rights for the HWF and CSWA - Master Bull vs Psycho Jack (representing Hogan) for the title GM

·         Donnie B and MW3 vs the ‘phony’ Phlyers w/ Malo Leche de Mantequilla for the tag team titles

·         Undisputed Heavyweight Championship Bray Wyatt vs HWF or the CSWA champion

The show is just around the corner so stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.06

Hello fans and welcome back.  This will be our final newsletter before everyone heads off to London for Starcade.  We will be covering the fan fest and Starcade LIVE.  For all you who are unable to attend in person, be sure to catch the event on PPV.

The show begins with Malo Leche de Mantequilla begging and pleading with GM Hulk Hogan.  Malo is asking for ‘executive protection’ from anyone on the roster who wants to do him harm.  Hogan scoffs at him and says “Too bad brother.  Deal with it.”  He then shows Malo the door and then slams it in his face.

The first match of the night has Professor Cobra taking on Sami Zayn.  Almost immediately, out comes ‘the Elitist’ Reid Rothchild and he stood at the top of the ramp.  About 2 ½ minutes in, Cobra finally sees him and starts to complain.  Zayn nails a spike brainbuster and at the 3 minute mark, gets the 1-2-3.  Reid turns and leaves.

GM Hulk Hogan says his major announcement will be after the main event so if you want to hear what it is, brother, you have to stick around.

Next on the card is The Fiend w/the Miz  vs. Jimmy Uso.  At the 6 minute mark, the Fiend clotheslines Jimmy out of the ring.  The Miz then hits Jimmy with a Skull Crushing Finale.  Jimmy Uso ends up getting counted out just before the 7 minute mark.

CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle comes out and calls out his opponent for Starcade Alexander Rusev.  Rusev no shows so Angle goes on to promote America and how the “greatest nation in the world” will be victorious. 

Next up is Curtis Axel taking on Wade Barrett.  Hardcore champion Sheamus also comes out and sits at ringside assisting with commentary.  Both Barrett and Axel gave it their all and for 28 minutes, neither could get an advantage.  Finally Axel hits a vertical Suplex but collapses under Barrett.  Wade then hooks the leg and gets the 3 count.  Wade Barrett is going on to meet Sheamus for the Hardcore title.  Barrett and Sheamus are staring at each other and then finally part.

HWF World Champion and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt says he will be defending the HWF title tonight.  When asked who it would be against, he said we would have to wait and find out.

Back to the ring for more action.  Next, Mark Henry takes on Shield member Seth Rollins.  For 5 minutes, Rollins was slippery and Henry just couldn’t catch him.  Finally. Rollins went for a flying bodypress and Henry caught him in a bearhug.  Rollins, not wanting to risk injury tapped out.  Mark Henry gets the win in 6 minutes via submission.

As a quick recap, over the last few weeks, Droopy Balls McShonnessay has been trying to raise money between getting his ass kicked by Brock Lesnar, starting a ‘GoFundMe’ page and sitting outside the stadiums with a tin cup so he could go to Starcade in London.   Finally, it seems he has made enough to get there but it’s not the most convenient.  Turns out all he could afford is a prop jet.  Well, if he leaves tomorrow, maybe he’ll get there by the end of the fan fest.

Next, in what was supposed to be held off for the PPV, Jay Lethal vs Kenta in a No DQ match will take place tonight. Turns out that both Lethal and Kenta are participating in the 6 man title match against the A-Team and Hogan really wanted this one to happen so he put in on for tonight.  The match was really close for 14 minutes but then Lethal turned up the heat and 4 minutes later, nails a snap Suplex for the 1-2-3.  After the match, both men shook hands.

Rocky Lapetus is walking around handing everyone their tickets.  He approaches the Band (Dirk Devon & the Axe).  Dirk immediately begins to berate him.  Rocky hands them their tickets (wrapped in a first class envelope) and then leaves.  Dirk and Axe begin to celebrate until Axe notices that only the wrapper says First Class.  Dirk grabs the tickets and sees that they are not first class (as he demanded) but are coach and they are all the way at the back of the plane.  Dirk begins to get very angry and yells “Roooooooooooooocky!”

We head back to the ring for our next match with Shield member Dean Ambrose taking on Christian.  This match was pretty close for 16 minutes until Christian nailed back to back One Man Concertos and then turned up his game.  At the 25 minute mark, Christian nails a dropkick and makes the cover for the win.

Alexander Rusev (I guess he was here all along) makes his way out and says he’s here for a warm up match before he goes to Starcade to defeat the Olympic Icon Kurt Angle and take his title.  His opponent is Eric Young.  Rusev hit Young with everything he could muster but Young would not stay down.  He kept pounding and smashing but EY would not give up.  Finally, we got down to the final few seconds of the match and Rusev, who looked like he loaded something in his arm pad, hit EY with a clothesline that almost decapitated him.  Rusev makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 just before the time limit ran out.  Rusev wanted to inflict more damage on EY but then the Caped Crusader appeared and Rusev ended up backing off.

The HWF World Champion (and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion) Bray Wyatt came out and said that someone special on the roster was going to get a title shot.   In probably the biggest surprise of the night, his opponent is…Droopy Balls McShonnessay.  HUH?  How the HELL does this schlub get a title shot?  Oh, I get it. Wyatt probably wanted a warm up match too (much like how Lesnar used him for a punching bag).  This one only went 8 minutes and ended after Bray dropped Droopy Balls with a scoop powerslam.  Droopy Balls rolls out of the ring and Bray stands tall for a moment before leaving.

GM Hulk Hogan comes out to make his announcement.  “The Hulkster is in the house, brother.  The announcement I wanted to make is that the entirety of both rosters will be making the trip to London.”  He stopped and let the fans express their positive reaction to the news.  “Those not in a scheduled match will participate in a battle royal.  I have received confirmation from our contacts in London that all shows are sold out as well as the Fan Fest.  If you want to catch the action, be sure to turn in to PPV to catch what I expect to be the best show of the year.  However, it’s gonna cost you a bit more than $9.99, brother.”

That is all for now.  Next week, there will be one issue covering the fanfest and then action from our 3 day PPV – Starcade.  Stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.05

Hello fans and welcome back to the newsletter.  Let’s get right to the action.

The first match of the night is Wade Barrett taking on Bo Dallas.  As hard as Wade tried, he could not keep Bo down for a consecutive 3 seconds.  The match ends up going the distance ending in a time limit draw.  Before he could leave, out comes Curtis Axel who says that Barrett cost him the title.  He is challenging Barrett to a match and if he wins, he gets the shot at Sheamus at the PPV.  Barrett agrees to the match but says he has some bad news…he still isn’t going to Starcade so he needs to just accept that and go away.

GM Hulk Hogan says that there will a huge announcement at the end of this week and he feels both performers and fans alike will like that but they have to tune into the final show of the week to get that information.

           

We head back to the ring for our next match with Jeff Hardy vs Ken Anderson.  This was pretty much a cake walk for Hardy as he owned the match but it went on longer than he would have liked as Anderson kept kicking out.  Finally, Hardy nails a Swanton Bomb from the top turnbuckle and gets the win at the 20 minute mark.

Malo Leche de Mantequilla and the Phoney Phlyers are cutting a promo how they’re gonna take down Donnie B and MW3 once and for all.  King Damian Sandow walks by but cuts in front of the camera.  Malo takes offense and challenges his Royalness to a match.  Sandow accepts.

Back to the ring for some tag team action with the Dust Brothers taking on Kenta and Sanada.  The Asian Exchange (the new name for Kenta and Sanada) really turned it up a notch and took the battle to the Dust Brothers.  Half way through the match, all the members of Prestige Inc. came out for scouting purposes and that did the Dust Brothers no favors.  Sanada catches Stardust in an abdominal stretch and then rolled him up for a pin at the 17 minute mark.  Both Goldust and Stardust weren’t happy but if you looked close enough, you could see the beginnings of a smile start to creep up their faces.

Prestige Inc. say they are united and will be there for his Lordship as he takes on Malo Leche de Mantequilla.

Back in the ring, we have Adrian Neville taking on ‘The Original Big Daddy’ Donnie B.  This one went 25 minutes and both men held their own.  It wasn’t until Malo Leche made his way out and blasted Donnie B with a chair then the tide turned in Neville’s favor.  This allowed Neville to connect with a back heel kick and with DB’s feet being held down (by Malo), Adrian collects the win.  Malo retreats up the ramp laughing.

MW3 meets Donnie B in the back.  He says that he has Adam Rose up next.   Donnie B says he’s going to go find Malo and make sure he does not interfere in MW3’s match.

MW3 vs Adam Rose is the next match and both men head to the ring.  This one was a bit closer but didn’t go as long.  At the 7 minute mark, MW3 is tossed out of the ring.  In from the audience run the Phoney Phlyers and they put the beat down on MW3.  The Phlyers scurry through the crowd and MW3 ends up getting counted out.  Adam Rose gains a victory although a tainted one.

MVP makes his way to the ring and begins talking smack about both the HWF and CSWA rosters.  He questions if there is even one man capable of taking him on, well, maybe he’d better show his face.  This prompts John Cena to come out and accept the challenge.  This one goes 12 minutes and after having his ass handed to him, MVP decides he’s had enough and leaves.  As soon as he is counted out, Brock Lesnar hits the ring and he and Cena brawl all the way to the back.

Now it is time for our main event with Malo Leche de Mantequilla taking on King Damian Sandow.  This one never really got started as Malo had the Phlyers attack and beat down his Lordship.  Out of nowhere, in pops the Caped Crusader.  With a WAM!BAM!POW! for the Phlyers and one for Malo, CC clears the ring.  CC suggests to the ref that instead of this being 1:1, maybe it should be made into a 6 man.  Hulk Hogan comes out and says he likes the suggestion. 

Malo Leche de Mantequilla and the Phoney Phlyers vs Prestige Inc (King Damian Sandow, Magnus & the Elitist Reid Rothchild).  Prestige Inc were kicking everyone’s asses until Malo got a chair and got his team disqualified.  Malo and the Phlyers bailed and as there were leaving, Donnie B and MW3 came down and fought with them.    Prestige Inc. ended up eliminating the Phlyers and left Malo to Donnie B and MW3.  A superkick followed by a top rope superplex had Malo counting stars.  Donnie B held him and MW3 removed his mask but Malo was quick to cover up and high tail it out of there.  Donnie B says “I KNEW IT” and tells MW3 who it is.  I guess they’re not going to share that with us.

That is all for now.  There is one final show before everyone participating heads off to London.  Stay Tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.04

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  All final house shows will be wrapping up this week and then everyone will be packing up to head out to London starting next week.

The show begins with Sting making his way to the ring.  He gets on a mic and says that Kane needed half the locker room and Bray Wyatt to put him down.  He is then interrupted by Randy Orton and the Viper complains that he is not on the card and should be headlining Starcade.  Orton pie faces Sting as he is crossing the ring and a brawl ensues.  GM Hulk Hogan comes out and tells them to break it up.  Hogan says that he is giving them both an early Christmas present.  They are both going to Starcade and their opponents will be…each other.  Hogan says he will grant a world title shot to either man who win this match.  It must be a pin or submission as he will not accept a count out win as an official win.  Sting and Randy have a stare down as the segment ends.

After a quick commercial break, we go to the ring for our first match and has Tajiri taking on Roderick Strong.  In what was a very one-sided match, Tajiri gets the win after hitting Strong with a Kick of Death at the 18 minute mark.

We head to the back where Kane is being interviewed.  Kane says that Bray attacking him at the end of the last show only went to show his insecurities.  Kane will defeat Bray at Starcade and will walk out with the World Heavyweight title.  He’ll then go on and win the Undisputed title.  Bray will burn in Hell.

Our next match is up and it is #Conan Jones vs Tyson Kidd.  Jones has been on a losing streak as of late and he is hoping to turn this one around.  This one went 17 minutes and even though he tried, # was unsuccessful.  He gets pinned after Kidd hits him with the Code Blue.  #Conan Jones is still on a losing streak.

Hogan announces they secured a 3^rd date for Starcade and those tickets are now on sale.  Get yours now before they too are gone.  The 2 day fanfest is also set up and those tickets are almost sold out. 

Match #3 is on and it is Senor Vampiro taking on Mike Bennett.  Vampiro was holding his own with Bennett up until the 14 minute mark and that is when El Chango came out.  After getting tossed to the outside of the ring, Bennett was getting reprimanded by the ref and El Chango nails Vampiro with a barbwire kendo stick.  Vampiro is tossed back in the ring and Bennett beats on the defenseless Vampiro for 3 minutes before pinning him with an armbar.  Hogan comes back out and says that he forgot about these two but is making amends now.  These two will be in a barbwire cage match at Starcade.  Only one will survive.

Match #4 has Prince Devitt taking on Tyler Breeze.  This was a short match as Breeze was more like a hurricane.  He ran all over Devitt and in just 4 short minutes, gets the win with a superkick.  After the match, Breeze gets on the mic and says he’s coming after the US title.  It doesn’t matter who has it; he will be taking it.

Kurt Angle is in the back and he calls Rusev a coward for attacking him like he did.  Angle says the only reason Rusev is not suspended is because Angle wants to kick his ass from post to post.  Rusev will have nowhere to go once Angle smacks him around with the Russian chain.

Match #5 is up next and has The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels taking on Heath Slater.  Right off the bat, Daniels neutralized a flapjack from Slater and then nails a Death Valley Driver. Slater rolls out of the ring and after trying to get back in the ring but Daniels kept scaring him off, he just gave up and walked out.  Daniels gets the win via CO.

Alexander Rusev is cutting a promo and says that Hogan made the best decision of his entire career and Angle made the worst.  The Bulgarian-turned-Russian says he will break Angle and then take the World title home to the Motherland where Putin himself will bestow him with honor and privilege only a World Champion deserves.  “Oh, and if that costume freak wants a piece of me, I’ll break him in half and send him to his cave in a pine box.”

Match #6 has Roman Reigns taking on Kevin Steen.  This one was an 11 minute ass beating with Steen on the receiving end.  This pathetic match came to an end after Reigns hit Steen with a Samoan drop.  Thank God.

GM Hulk Hogan says that he expects the 3^rd day of Starcade to be sold out by the end of the week.  Anyone who wants to attend need to get their butts in gear, brother.  Also, he says that there will be a Fan Fest that will take place over two days before the extravaganza. 

We head to the ring for our Main event which is for the Hardcore Title.  Champion Sheamus is taking on Curtis Axel.  This was another short match which saw Wade Barrett make his way out.  Sheamus didn’t seem to mind but it threw Axel off his game.  Wade ends up sliding in a steel chair into the ring.  In 4 minutes, Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick onto a steel chair.  Sheamus makes the cover and gets the win.  After the match, Barrett and Sheamus have words but Barrett leaves before it gets physical.   Once revived, Axel was NOT in a good mood.

Thanks for reading. There will be more action coming so stay tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.03

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s issue starts off with GM Hulk Hogan addressing the cowardly attack by Alexander Rusev on Kurt Angle.  Hogan says that Angle is demanding the match at Starcade even though Rusev lost his title match.  The Hulkster thought about it and has decided to grant the match anyway.   However, this is going to be a specialty match that Kurt asked for.  This one will actually be a Russian Chain match.

HWF World and Undisputed Champion Bray Wyatt comes out.  He addresses the comments made by Sting. Wyatt says that even though he struggles to find someone worthy of a title shot, there are still more qualified performers on the active roster than ‘the Crow’.  Sting then walks out and heads to the ring.  Sting says he’s more than qualified and even the crowd pops for him when he asks them if they want to see him fight for the HWF World title.  Wyatt says he will consider it but first, Sting must wrestle someone who Wyatt feels is already a top contender.  Sting accepts whomever that will be.  Wyatt says he will make a decision and that match will be our main event tonight.  Both men then leave.

The first match of the night is Big E vs Dean Ambrose.  For 11 minutes, Ambrose was holding his own but then Big E amped up the power.  Big E ends up with the win after pinning Ambrose after executing a leveraged two hand chinlock. (13 min)

We head right into our next match with Jay Lethal taking on Kenta.  This one only went 2 minutes and ended after Kenta, who had gotten hit with the Lethal Injection on the outside of the ring, got counted out.  GM Hulk Hogan came out and said that this match was supposed to be a 5 Star and obviously wasn’t.  Hogan asks for the match to be restarted.  The exact same thing happens.  2 minutes in, outside the ring, another Lethal Injection and another countout.  Hmm, I wonder if this match just isn’t supposed to happen.  Hogan comes back out and says that the 3^rd time will be a charm but that will happen at Starcade (he’s adding a match to the already beefy lineup) and that one will be a no DQ/CO match.  He expects great things from these two.

We cut to the back and see numerous people talking to Bray Wyatt about taking on Sting in tonight’s main event for a shot at the HWF World title at Starcade.  So far, we’ve seen Super Warrior, Kane, and Bobby Roode approach the champ.  All were sent away.

We go back to the ring for our next match.  “The Elitist” Reid Rothchild makes his way out for his match against Rockstar Spud.  The title is not on the line here.  This one goes 19 ½ minutes and sees Professor Cobra come out.  Cobra paces around the ring watching the action.  The ref goes down and Cobra tells Spud to hold Reid.  Cobra grabs a chair and swings…but hits Spud instead after Reid dropped to the mat.  Spud falls out of the ring.  Reid nails Cobra with a  Rothchild Stunner and he falls out of the ring.  The ref gets up and sees Spud on the outside.  He makes the count and after reaching 10, awards the match to Reid.    Cobra gets the chair again and tries to go after Reid but then the lights flicker and then standing in the ring is the Caped Crusader.  Cobra is stunned and goes to swing the chair at the CC but he is the one who is stunned after he hits Cobra with the Wam!Bam!Pow!.  The lights flicker again and the Caped Crusader is gone.  Cobra leaves but yells at Reid as he backs up the ramp.

More people approach Bray trying to qualify for the World title match.  El Chango, Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar all approach Bray and he sends them all away however Brock said that after he destroys Cena, he is coming back after HIS title.

We go back to the ring for more action and this one has Conan Jones (who by the way, changed his name on the marquee to #ConanJones – I wonder if that means we start calling him #) and he is taking on Kazarian.  This one only goes 7 minutes and comes to an end after Kaz hits # with a snap Suplex and rolls him up for the 1-2-3.  It seems #ConanJones is continuing his losing ways.  Poor Guy.

The final batch of wrestlers approach Bray trying to make their case.  They are John Cena, James Storm and Jack Swagger.  Cena and Wyatt have a stare down but all are sent on their way.

The lights dim and the Omegatron lights up once again.  This appears to be the final installment of  The Greatest Staches in History.  This one is titled Part 6: Inspirational leaders.  The montage begins and shows people who have made great contributions to the world…who have great staches.  Author Mark Twain, Albert Einstein, Sheriff Wyatt Earp, Presidents Grover Cleveland, William H. Taft and Teddy Roosevelt.  The tag line reads “All Great Men…All Great Staches.”

Then it reads: “One Stache to rule them all.”   The Stache.

We head back to the ring for our next match which has Seth Rollins taking on Curtis Axel.  This one goes 8 minutes and was controlled by the Shield member. Axel ends up eating a Superkick at the 8 minute mark and that was all for him. 

HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt comes out and says he’s made a decision.  He tells Sting to come out.  Sting makes his way out and asks who tonight’s opponent will be. Bray introduces this man….the lights go out and FLAMES rise.  Yep, it is Kane.  Kane makes his way to the ring.  Bray leaves as Kane enters and the match begins.  However, before the match could start, every one of those wresters who were lobbying for a match came out.  Sting had to fight all of them off.  Cena and Brock fought between themselves and actually fought all the way to the back.  The others pounded Sting as well as each other but finally the ref cleared house.  Sting and Kane had 4+ star match and really put on a good show.  Bray ended up interfering and hit Sting with the Sister Abigail.  Kane then climbed to the top turnbuckle and nailed a clothesline on Sting.  Kane makes the cover and gets the win in 18 minutes.  Kane is exhausted.  Bray Wyatt gets in the ring and hits Kane with the Sister Abigail.  Bray stands tall holding the HWF title over his head as the show comes to a conclusion. 

Stay tuned as Starcade is two weeks away and there will be tons of action before heading to London.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 12.02

Hello fans.  Well, the action just keeps going and going and going so we have to do what we do best and that is report each and every morsel.

This show begins with Alexander Rusev vs Tyler Breeze.  Before the match begins, Hogan comes out and says that Rusev is bullying everyone and that needs to stop.  Rusev asks what an old, wrinkled has-been is going to do.  “Well, brother, this old, diseased, has-been is GM and with that power I can do anything which includes taking away your title shot.  If you lose this match, you lose your shot at the World Title and Kurt Angle.  Rusev flips out in the ring.  Rusev starts to beat down on Breeze but then Kurt Angle comes out and throws Rusev off his game.  Breeze takes advantage and nails a hurricanrana and gets the quick 1-2-3.  Breeze celebrates in the ring but Rusev explodes on him.  He nails the Accolade and nearly breaks Breeze in half.  Kurt Angle jumps in and tries to come to Tyler’s aid but Rusev catches him and begins to pummel him.  He locks Kurt in a camel Clutch and Hogan comes out threatening to fire him if he doesn’t let up.  Rusev drops Angle and leaves the ring (I guess he lost his title match).

Following the match, the Caped Crusader suddenly appears, rappelling from the rafters and touching down in the ring.  He asks for a microphone.

"First things first:  Rappelling down from the rafters is not easy.  I have to be hoisted up to the ceiling before any fans are admitted to the event, and then I have to just wait and wait and wait for some injustice to occur in the ring.  Seriously, this giant hook in my back is really uncomfortable..."

C.C. pauses a moment to take in the crowd reaction, which is murmuring in quiet confusion as to where exactly C.C. is going with this bit.

"You see, folks, the Caped Crusader shouldn't have to wait around in the rafters.  He should be able to move NOT ONLY up and down, but also left, right, forward, backward, diagonally, and EVERY WHICH WAY NECESSARY to combat the continuing injustices he sees in the ring..."

Again, more confused murmurs from the crowd.

"Like my good friend Kal-El, whom many of you know as Superman, I, too, believe in Truth, Justice, and the American Way.  And Alexander Rusev - Mr. Bulgarian-turned-Russian - you my friend, have NONE of those three qualities!  All I see in you is a big crybaby who jumps into the ring after matches are over and attacks the legitimate winner of the match.  And why?  Because you, sir, are a sore loser.  And if there is one thing that the Caped Crusader tolerates even less than rule breakers, it is sore losers!  So Rusev, and all you like him, beware!  The Caped Crusader may strike you from above, from below, from the front, or from behind.  You have been warned!"

With that, the Caped Crusader removes the giant hook from his back and begins to run around in the ring, bouncing back and forth off the ropes before climbing to the top rope and triumphantly raising his arms in salute to the fans, who are just now starting to cheer a little.  He then leaves through the crowd – much to the delight of the fans.

The lights go dim and yep, time for another vignette of “The Greatest Staches in History Part 5 – Fictional Characters.”  The montage rolls and this time we see Snidely Whiplash and Boris Badenov (from Rocky & Bullwinkle), Sasha Cohen as Borat, J. Jonah Jameson (from Spider-Man). Ron Burgandy, Isaac from “the Loveboat”, Ned Flanders (Simpsons), and Yosemite Sam (Looney Toons).

As Looney as it sounds, there is none like…

The Stache.

Coming soon to an arena near you in 2015.

Malo Leche de Mantequilla comes out with his (supposed) tag champs the (phony) Phlyers.  Malo says that these champions will defeat the evil-doers that are Donnie B and MW3.  Donnie B and MW3 come out and say that no time is like the present and that Malo needs to put up or shut the HELL UP.  Malo takes offense and says he wants to teach them a lesson.  Malo tells them to go find a partner and meet his team in the ring.  Donnie B says they already did that and brings out Prince Devitt as their partner. 

Donnie B, MW3 and Prince Devitt defeat Malo Leche de Mantequilla and the phony Phlyers via DQ after Malo brought a chair in to the ring and hit MW3 with it.  After the match, the Phlyers are disposed of quickly and MW3 hits Malo with a  MW2 Kneelift.  Donnie B follows it up with a brainbuster and then Prince Devitt joined in the fun and locks in an ankle lock and Malo is screaming in pain and tapping out.  He lets go and the Phlyers grab Malo and drag him to the back.

In the back, MVP and Bram are talking all kinds of smack. They say how they are the best team in the sport and per the graciousness of GM Hulk Hogan, they will get a rematch against Miz-fits at Starcade but for now, they want some fodder.  In walk the Shield (Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins) and they say that if Bram and MVP want an ass-beating, the Shield will give it to them.

We go back to the ring for our next match of Prestige Inc. (King Damian Sandow & Magnus) taking on the Dust Brothers (Goldust and Stardust).  The Dust brothers continue to be a thorn in the side of Prestige Inc.  For the first part of the match, the Dust boys owned their opponents.  Finally, the façade of Prestige Inc. began to crack.  After 16 minutes of abuse, Prestige had enough and started to get dirty.  Goldust kept egging them on.  Just past the 23 minute mark, Goldust plants a pair of brass knuckles on Magnus. When Magnus sees them, so does the ref and Prestige Inc. are immediately disqualified.  The Dust Brothers win this one by DQ.  After the match, a pissed off Magnus belts both Goldie and Star with the brass knuckles knocking them out much to the delight of the fans.  Eventually the Dust boys wake up and leave.

Randy Orton storms out and demands in-ring time. Kofi Kingston comes out to oblige.  For 7 minutes Kofi went toe to toe with Orton.  He didn’t like that.  Orton pulls Kofi to the outside and hits the RKO. Randy rolls back in to beat the 10 count and wins this one via countout.

We go to our next match almost immediately with Bo Dallas taking on Xavier Woods.  In a 13 minute ass-kicking, Woods gets the win after hitting a military press double knee gutbuster.

Sting appears on the Omegatron and says that if HWF World Champ Bray Wyatt needs an opponent for Starcade, he’ll step up.  We will have to wait and see either what Wyatt or Hogan say.

We just keep moving with the matches with MVP and Bram taking on the Shield.  This was another match that went to a 30 minute time limit and the Shield just couldn’t keep their opponents down for the 3. After the match was over, the Miz and the Fiend came out and brawled with Bram and MVP. Security had to separate all of them.

The show is winding down as we head into our last 2 matches of the night.  First, we have the A-Team defending the 6 man titles against the Band and Psycho Jack Hercules.  Before the match could begin, out comes Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley.  A pissed off Dirk Devon tosses Abyss from the ring and the A-Team just walked out. They get counted out at 2 minutes but the belts don’t change hands. Psycho Jack gets eliminated and Reigns, Lashley, Axe and Pick all brawl up the ramp and didn’t stop till they got to the back.

It is time for our main event with US Champion AJ Styles defending the title against Ken Anderson.  The end came at 12 minutes when Anderson who reversed a Styles Clash, tried for the Mic Check but that got reversed and ended up eating a spin kick.  AJ made the cover and got the win. AJ will be going to Starcade to team with Dolph Ziggler where the champs must win to retain their titles.

Here is how the Starcade cards looks (practically finalized – no particular order over 2 days):

John Cena vs Brock Lesnar in a steel cage match

Donnie B and MW3 vs the ‘phony’ Phlyers w/ Malo Leche de Mantequilla for the tag team titles

Dirk ‘the pick’ Devon & the Axe vs Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley

North American Champion Big Show vs Ryback in a rematch for the title

Wyatt’s Warriors vs Beer Money

Prestige Inc. vs the Dust Brothers

Women’s Champion AJ Lee vs Spider Violet

CSWA World Champion Kurt Angle vs Alexander Rusev

Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel vs Cactus Jackie

The Elitist Reid Rothchild vs Professor Cobra.  The title was held up and they will battle for the championship.

Master Bull vs Hulk Hogan for the full managerial rights for the HWF and CSWA - Master Bull vs Psycho Jack (representing Hogan) for the title GM

The Miz-Fits vs Bram & MVP

IC champion and US Champion team up.  As long as one of the champs gets the pin, both retain.  If an opponent pins one of the champs, both belts are lost.  Champs AJ Styles (US) and Dolph Ziggler (IC) vs.  Samoa Joe & Daniel Bryan.

Hardcore Champion Sheamus vs Wade Barrett

Casey Jones vs Adam Rose for the X-Division title

Conan Jones vs Adrian Neville

Still to be determined:

HWF World Champion Bray Wyatt vs ???

Six Man Champions the A-Team vs

Undisputed Heavyweight Championship Bray Wyatt vs ???

There will be a 2 day fan fest in London before Starcade.  To allow all wrestlers time to relax, there will be no house shows before they have to leave for London.  Stay Tuned.   Things are really heating up.