HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 04.02 – Lead up to the PPV

Hello fans and welcome to our latest newsletter.  There are no matches to report as Chicago’s venue is the last before Wrestlemania to give everyone time off to prepare for the 4 biggest nights in the history of this sport.  We do have a newsletters worth of interesting tidbits to pass along. 
 

First off, it had been decided that VamChango (El Chango and Senor Vampiro) impressed the hell out of Master Bull so he opted to put them against Robbie E and Rob Terry with the winner getting a tag team title shot on the final day.  This writer also has to hand it to VamChango as they took the whole “dressing in drag” with class and didn’t let it overshadow the talent they put forth when they enter the ring.  The fans may not care for them but you can’t deny their talent.

 

Next, Master Bull met with Rocky Lapetus (aka Wam Bam Arsonist).  They talked at length about Wam’s deal with the FBI (he is in witness protection) and Bull wanted to make sure that he wanted to move forth with his match against former “band” member Dirk “the Pick” Devon.  Wam said yes so that match will still happen.

 

Master Bull also touched on the subject of automatic rematches (aka best of 3/60 minute time limit). Bull stated that since each day of Wrestlemania week was action packed, there was no way they could do this.  For Wrestlemania, titles will be one fall; winner gets the belt.  Time limits will still apply.  

 

Hulk Hogan has promised that we will experience things unexpected.  Very cryptic.  I wonder what the Hulkster has up his sleeve.

 

Here are the matches taking place each day of Wrestlemania week (each day’s lineup order has  not been set yet):

 

Day 1

Daniel Bryan vs Jeff Hardy                 

ODB vs Alicia Fox

Natalya Neidhart vs Layla El

VamChango vs Robbie E and Rob Terry for a title shot at the tag team titles later in the PPV

Internet Media Champion Austin Aries vs Malo Leche de Mantequilla

US Champion Antonio Cesaro vs Christian

North American Champion Alberto Del Rio vs Sheamus

Zack Ryder and Tyson Kidd vs Joseph Park and Brodus Clay

Batista vs John Cena

 

Day 2

Kevin Steen and Roderick Strong vs Ryback and Curtis Axel

Goldust and Cody Rhodes vs Beer Money

The Bella Twins vs the Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Madison Rayne)

X-Division Champion Casey Jones vs Santino Marella

IC champion Roman Reigns vs Randy Orton in a rematch

The Shield (6-man tag team champs) vs 3MB

Women’s Champion Gail Kim vs Cactus Jackie

Great Khali and Mike Bennett vs Brad Maddox, David Otunga

AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle

 

Day 3

Rey Mysterio and Bully Ray (Lights Out)

Titus O’Neil vs Darren Young (Steel cage)

USO’s with Samoa Joe vs The Colon’s w/ a surprise partner

Diva’s Champion Fusion Valentine vs Ravishing Raquel

Triple Threat: Reid vs Bran-Don-Goh vs Professor Cobra for the Elitist Title

European Champion Dirk Devon vs Wam Bam Arsonist

Spider Violet vs Velvet Sky

Bobby Lashley vs Big Show

Mexicali Flyers vs Great Muta and Jushin “Thunder” Liger for the NJWW Tag Team titles. 

 

Day 4

Women’s Battle Royal

Jack Swagger, Miz and Rockstar Spud vs Kazarian, Tensai and Wade Barrett

Christopher Daniels, Wade Barrett and King Mo vs Jay Lethal , Big E and Big Zeke

Team Master Bull vs Team Hulk Hogan

            Team Bull:  Ken Anderson, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler and Eric Young

            Team Hogan:  Mark Henry, Hernandez, Abyss, plus 2 additional entrants

Tag match (respect) Ultimate Warrior, DDP and a third member (aka Team Respect) vs. the A-team. 

Prestige Inc (tag team champs: Magnus and King Damian Sandow) vs either VamChango or Robbie E/Rob Terry

Champion vs Champion:  Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar

Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Kane vs the winner of the Lesnar/Undertaker match.

Andre the Giant Invitational Battle Royal

 

In an interview conducted by roving reporter Clarkus Kentus Master Bull speaks about what Hogan would do if he were to gain GM Managerial rights to the CSWA and HWF. (As this interview was being conducted, the Ultimate Warrior arrived for his vignette.)  “I’m telling you, he is a ticking time bomb.  That man has self-destruction written all over him.  He leaves the business and then thinks everyone needs to bow down to him like he’s some sort of god when he decides to pull his head out of the sand.  I can tell you that NO man is.  A ‘flash in the pan’ is what he really is.  In the grand scheme of things, I can tell you he’s no more than a minor wave in a giant ocean.  I will put him back out to pasture where he belongs and then we won’t have to worry about him again.”

 

Ultimate Warrior conducted his taped promo.  “Theee Uuultimate Warriahhhh has returned. Parts Unknown have dictated that that it was time for the ONE to return back to the ring.  This time, it is about Respect.  A-Team, you have no respect for those who paved the way in the universe for your existence.  The gods from on HIGH have spoken and they say that the Uuultimate Warriahhhh needs to right a wrong so that the universe can have balance restored.  The warriors from past, present and future will speak to me and fill me with the power that is needed to do what is rightfully right to fix a wrongfully wrong.  The makeup I wear is an indication of the energy my warriors feed me.  I will load the spaceship with the rocket fuel and show you that you are nothing but a guppy in the ocean of life enhabited by the deadliest predator of all – the Uuultimate Warriahhh.  RESPECT will be MINE..”  (yep, he was confusing back in the day and 20+ years later, still is.)

 

Hulk Hogan was also on hand but his vignette was not necessarily planned.  We overheard him talking on the phone.  “Yeah brother, I have every faith you guys will pull it off but I can’t put it past Bull.  I think he has a plan to sabotage the match.”  He listed while the person on the other end spoke.  “A best of 3?  You think he’ll go for it?  How do I make sure he doesn’t rig or pay off someone to throw a match?”  He listened a bit more.  “Let the fans decide.  Ok, but again, if the fans vote, there must be a way..hang on, I think I’ve got it.  The fans can vote BUT their choices will not be unveiled until the final moments of the show…after all the matches have taken place.  That way, Bull-oney can’t rig anything.  That’s BRILLIANT, brother.  Hey, I appreciate it.  See you at Wrestlemania.”

 

Hogan went out and met up with Master Bull.  “Hey Bull.  I have a proposition for you.”  Master Bull turned around. “What do you want Cocoa Puff?”  “I know you are just as concerned about our match for who gets managerial rights to the federation but wanted to throw this out” Hogan said.  “What if we allow the fans to choose 3 matches, ours being one and two others. They pick the match but their choices are not disclosed until the end of the PPV.  This way, there can be no swaying in any of the matches.  We will put 33% stake in each one.  The person who guesses correctly to what the fans think wins each portion until one of us gets the full stake in the company.”  Bull thought about it for a minute.  “So you and I will write down who we think will win before the event begins.  We then compare it to what the fans chose and depending on who chose more accurately, gets the whole damn show.”  Master Bull thought about it for a second.  “Hogan, you are so full of crap.  You’re afraid you’re going to lose and with the team I have assembled, you will. You’re scared you bit off more than you can chew so you’re trying to give yourself as many choices to win as possible.  If you have such little faith in your team, maybe you need a new team.”  Hogan started to get pissed.  “LISTEN brother, we both have a lot on the line.  If you are just too scared to do this…”  Bull put his hand in Hogan’s face.  “Stop.  I’ve had enough of your blubbering.  Fine.  The fans can go online and vote on who they think will win.  You and I will write our choices on paper RIGHT NOW and then give it to a lawyer for safe keeping.  At the end of the PPV, the lawyer will come out and show what we’ve picked but ONLY for 2 additional matches.  They will be picked at random by the lawyer so there can be no favoritism shown.  Also, after this is done, we BOTH go off the grid.  Absolutely no communication with the outside world.  No social media, no calls, personal visits, etc.  NOTHING.  If you do, you forfeit everything and you’re out.”  “You’ve got a deal there, BROTHER.”  They shake on it.  They then look at the lineup and write down the names of who they think will win.  They call in the lawyer (by the way, it was the same lawyer that missed the whole ‘managerial rights’ in the first place…wonder why he didn’t get fired.  It turns out its Master Bull’s brother in law).  They give their choices to the lawyer who immediately locks them up in a briefcase.  “It is done.  I will see you in New York for Wrestlemania.”  “Say goodbye to your federation Bull-other” Hogan said as the two shook hands and went their respective ways.

 

We jump forward now 2 days and we are in New York for Wrestlemania week.  The Fan fest is in full swing and every wrestler is there signing autographs and taking pictures with the fans.  Prestige Inc is there in full with Reid and Raquel sitting at one table and Magnus and King Damian Sandow next to them.  Reid is still charging $500 for an autograph and has no one in his line.  The other three members have a very long line (especially Raquel, she is Ravishing after all).  We’ve even seen some past familiar faces walking around.  Just a few hours in, we’ve seen The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Jake ‘the snake’ Roberts, Sgt. Slaughter, the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff, Ivan and Nikita Koloff, Bret Hart, Mick Foley (by the way, he’s wearing the latest shirt from Casey Jones – a sign of respect, maybe?), Booker T, Nigel McGuiness, Barry Horowitz, Barry O and the Mulkey Brothers.  Huge turnout for the fans here and everyone (except maybe Reid) is having a blast.

 

That is all for now.  We will be back with Wrestlemania.  Stay Tuned.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 04.01 – the Road to Wrestlemania is here

Welcome fans to the latest installment of our newsletter.  This issue will recap the events of the show taped before a sold out audience.  We are here in Chicago, IL – The Windy City.  We can tell you that today’s show is all about teamwork.  That’s right.  Every match taking place at this show is a tag team matchup. 
 

In the back, the team of VamChango approach Hulk Hogan.  Not sure why but he seems a bit disgusted by them…almost like they’re beneath him.  Anyway, they tell Hogan that today is the final day of dressing in drag.  Hogan tells them that they are taking on team HP (Bran-Don-Goh and Casey Jones) tonight.   Hogan then dismisses them and heads to the stage.

 

“Hulkamania is running wild here in Chicago Brother.  The Hulkster is in charge tonight and I’ve got a hell of a line up for you today.  As you saw earlier, VamChango is taking on Jones and B; Team Rob (Rob Terry and Robbie E) are taking on Primo and Epico Colon; The Uso’s are taking on Beer Money (James Storm and Bobby Roode); The Shield w/ Roman Reigns will be taking on Rybaxel (Ryback and Curtis Axel); The A-Team (a hell of a team by the way) is taking on the Mexicali Flyers and Malo Leche de Mantequilla -  a non title match up; Goldust and Cody Rhodes will take on Big E and Big Zeke and finally, Prestige Inc will take on 3MB.  There is a lot of action going on tonight so without further ado, let’s get this show on the road…Brother.”

 

The first match of the night is Robbie E and Rob Terry taking on the Colons.  In a 23 minute ass kicking, Team Rob gets the win after Terry nails Primo with a corner clothesline and then rolls him up (with a handful of tights – not sure why he thought he needed it) for the win.

 

Next up are the Uso’s taking on Storm and Roode.  This one went the distance.  Jimmy Uso was going for a pin on Bobby Roode and just as Storm broke up the attempt, the bell rang signaling the end of the match.

 

After Beer Money made their way to the back, they bumped into Goldust and Cody Rhodes.  Goldust barked at them and Roode jumped them but the brawl quickly ended with the arrival of the backstage help.  Roode yelled at them to watch their backs.

 

Big E and Big Zeke came out next taking on Goldust and Cody Rhodes.  While walking out, Cody kept looking behind them heeding the warning from Bobby Roode.  This was a very short match with Goldust getting the win in only 3 minutes after nailing Langston with the Shattered Dreams.  After the match, Beer Money ran down and attacked the Rhodes boys and they brawled until the “suits” from the back ran out to break it up.  This, of course, brought out Hogan who said that Beer Money would be taking on Cody and Goldust at Wrestlemania.  Both teams seemed happy with that decision.

 

The Shield, represented by Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, came out for their match against Ryback and Curtis Axel.  The Shield were accompanied by the 3^rd member of their team, the Intercontinental Champion Roman Reigns.  Rybaxel followed.  For 15 minutes, the Shield decimated Rybaxel.  About 10 minutes in, while Dean Ambrose was distracting the referee, Rollins and Reigns double teamed Ryback and put him through a table.  This left Axel on his own.  For the next few minutes, the Shield took their time dismantling Axel.  Randy Orton then runs down and attacks Roman Reigns with the two of them fighting all the way to the back.  Ambrose decides to finish off Axel with some knife-edge chops.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Curtis Axel and Ryback are both helped to the back. (15 min)

 

A video is then run showcasing all the CSWA and HWF talent and hyping up Wrestlemania.  This got the crowd popping.

 

VamChango came out for their final match in drag.  They are taking on “The Elitist Champion” Bran-Don-Goh and his Team HP partner Casey Jones.  Robbie E and Rob Terry came and sat at ringside.  VamChango controlled the match almost entirely.  Towards the end, Rob Terry got up and distracted Bran-Don-Goh.  This allowed El Chango to hit a flying spinning heel kick.  He made the cover while Robbie E held B’s leg down.  The ref counts to 3 and awards the match to VamChango. 

 

We cut to the back where VamChango run into the Mexicali Flyers.  El Chango gets into Tornado en Fuego’s face “Listen esse, you may have won that battle but the war is far from over.”  Senor Vampiro steps into El Dragon Insano’s way “You boys have bit off more than you can chew.  I can promise you that this isn’t over…not by a long shot.”  VamChango walk away without further altercation.

 

The next match is the A-Team (Austin Aries, Alberto Del Rio and Antonio Cesaro) taking on the Mexicali Flyers (El Dragon Insano and Tornado en Fuego) with Malo Leche de Mantequilla.   For 16 minutes, the Mexican team was destroying the A-Team.  It looked to me that the A-team were more like a C or D team as they had no cohesion.  The end came after Malo nails Del Rio with a bitch slap dropping him like a wet burlap sack.  El Dragon disposed of Austin Aries while Tornado eliminated Cesaro.  Malo makes the cover and gets the win for his team.  They left pretty quickly while the A-Team argued amongst themselves.

 

The main event of the evening is next with Prestige Inc (King Damian Sandow, Magnus and Reid Rothchild w/Ravishing Raquel) was taking on 3MB (Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal).  This one goes to the time limit and even though Prestige controlled the match, they couldn’t get the pin in time.  After the bell sounded, out run Professor Cobra and Bran-Don-Goh and they attack Reid on the outside of the ring.  The three men brawl as Diva’s Champion Fusion Valentine comes out to fight with Ravishing Raquel.  The evening ends with the ref and a bunch of “shirts” trying to restore order.

 

That’s all we have for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 –03.09

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We are coming to you from Cheyene, WY.  The show begins with Master Bull on the entrance ramp.

 

“Welcome everyone to the show.  We have a great line up for you but wanted to drop a bombshell on you. I am choosing tonight to announce that I have finalized my team to take on Hogan’s Cocoa Puffs.”  At that point, out comes Hulk Hogan.  “Just a minute, Brother.  Team Franks N Beans will not be announced first. Team Hogan, the only team that matters, will be announced first.  BUT, I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  If somehow you pull out of this with a win, you can NOT hold anything against my team.  Just as I would not hold your team liable for the stupidity of their team captain…BROTHER.”  Master Bull gets in his face.  “Listen you roided Cocoa Puff, this is something you will not win.  With the team I’ve assembled, you’ll have no chance in hell.  My team is as follows:  Mr. Ken Anderson, The Jamacian wonder Kofi Kingston, Rapper extrodinaire R-Truth, the master of the zig-zag Dolph Ziggler and Mr. Comedy himself Eric Young.  What do you have Captain Puff?” Hogan nods.  “That’s a pretty good team you got there Beannie Weenie.  Team Hogan will have the World’s strongest Man Mark Henry, the bad-ass Hernandez and the insane Abyss.  But wait, you say that it’s only 3.  I’m glad you can count.  My final two entrants will be announced at Wrestlemania.  We will see you there, BROTHER.”  Master Bull followed up with “Team Master Bull will do me proud when Hogan’s Cocoa Puffs are put to pasture.  Without further ado, let’s get on with the show.

 

The first match of the night is Cactus Jackie taking on Alicia Fox.  As a reminder, Jackie needs to win her next 2 matches in order to proceed to Wrestlemania. This match was definitely in her favor as Alicia underestimated her challenger.  In 5 quick minutes, Jackie locks Fox in the Desert Stretch and Alicia taps out.  Jackie gets another win.  All of a sudden, Master Bull comes out and says that Jackie isn’t getting off that easy.  He says that there is only one final match. If Jackie loses this one, she will be out on the street.  Jackie gets on the mic “Hey Bull-oney, you want me to fight again, send me your best.  When I win, I am going to challenge Gail Kim for the Women’s Title.  I will go to Wrestlemania so let’s get this started.”

 

Out comes former Women’s Champion Layla El.  Jackie’s face goes white.  Oh crap.  Layla makes her way to the ring.  She gets into Jackie’s face and tells her the unemployment line is looking for a few good women.  The bell rings and Layla goes to town.  Jackie just can’t keep up with the former champ.  At 13 minutes in, Layla charges and Jackie ducks pulling the top rope down.  Layla goes sailing over the top and crashing to the floor.  The ref counts and reaches 10.  Cactus Jackie secures her 3^rd win and is going to Wrestlemania to fight for the title.  Hulk Hogan comes out and congratulates CJ on her win. “You’re going to Wrestlemania, congratulations.  There is a great future for you here.”  Jackie is beaming and leaves to some fanfare. 

 

VamChango (El Chango and Senor Vampiro) come out for their Day 2 of Drag vs Robbie E and Rob Terry.  The Rob’s make fun of the “drag queens”.  The match goes a full 30 minutes and prompts Master Bull to come out.  Bull states that these two teams will meet at Wrestlemania and one of them will be going on to receive a World Tag Team title shot also taking place at Wrestlemania.  The Rob’s attack VamChango but they quickly get the upper hand and Robbie and Rob bail faster than a speeding bullet. 

 

Batista comes out demanding a main event match at Wrestlemania.  He complains that no titles are available for him to take.  Batista tells the 2 GM’s that he wants an main event match at Wrestlemania and an opponent that will be equal to none.  John Cena comes out and tells Dave that if he wants a main event opponent, he needs to look no further.  Hulk Hogan comes out and makes the match.

 

We get to delve further into the investigation into Wam Bam Arsonist’s (Rocky Lapetus) past.  It turns out that he got roped into some questionable activity.  Rocky is approached by the FBI and he becomes an informant; eventually turning states evidence against a major crime syndicate.  Rocky goes into witness protection eventually taking on the guise of Wam Bam Arsonist, lead singer of the “band”.  It seems that the “creative differences” that split up the band was a ruse.  It seems that Wam was found by the syndicate he turned in and needed to go back undercover.  I guess he got tired of hiding and decided to take his life back by becoming part of the CSWA and the HWF.  Wam still claims issues with both the Pick and the Axe but we’re not really sure anymore.

 

Out next is the Undisputed Champion Kane “lowering” himself to fight non-champions.   His opponent, is a champion of sorts – in fact, he was an Olympic Gold medalist.  His opponent is none other than Kurt Angle.  The match is a short one as 6 minutes into the match, Kane decides to leave.  After the ref officially counts Kane out, out comes Brock Lesnar.  He begins brawling with Kane and is eventually joined by the Undertaker.  The three men brawl until the refs come out to break it up.

 

The main event is Bully Ray vs Bobby Lashley.  The match is set up as a no-countout battle.  The battle is favoring Bully Ray the entire match but at 20 minutes in, out comes Rey Mysterio.  Bully Ray is flabbergasted.  He turns around and Bobby hits the Dominator.  Bobby makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Rey runs down and begins stomping on Bully until he bails out of the ring.  Bobby and Rey celebrate in the ring to end the show.

 

Thanks for reading.  Wrestlemania will be here before you know it.  Stay tuned.

THE HWF AND THE CSWA PROUDLY PRESENT "WRESTLEMANIA"

Lots of great talent representing the past, present and FUTURE of our sport 

 

4-day extravaganza - matches subject to change.

Shows are expected to sell out fast. Get your tickets now!

Oh, and by the way, Malo Leche de Mantequilla WILL be in action.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 03.08

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  We start off with a bunch of news before talking about show results.
 

After arriving in Sacramento, CA, VamChango immediately went to the back and met up with the Diva’s.  Together, they started to help prepare them for their first “drag” appearance.  All in all, hanging out with hot women isn’t crimping their style at all.

 

Next, we have a retraction to make.  In the last issue, we mentioned that Jackie was 2-1 when in fact, she is only 1-1.  Her first win did not count towards the Best 3 of 5 stipulation Master Bull put forth.  She needs to win 2 more of her next 3 matches in order to go to Wrestlemania.

 

Master Bull is in his office when Clarkus Kentus runs up and is banging on the door.  Clarkus explains the FBI is here and need to speak with him.   Master Bull brings them into his office.  They show him a picture of an individual.  “Yeah, he’s on my roster…so?  They explain that this person is actually in Witness protection and should not be showcased on television.  Master Bull says he will take it under advisement and the FBI leave.  Master Bull places the picture on the table before leaving.  We get a good look at the picture and it is none other than Wam Bam Arsonist.  I’m sure there’s more to this than meets the eye.

 

Raquel, still nursing her foot is talking to Reid about his attitude.  “Listen, sometimes you just need to let things go.  Getting cheered by the fans isn’t a bad thing.”  Reid looks her in the eyes “For you, I’ll think about it.  It’s more than just you and I though.  We are talking about Prestige Inc.  If the King and Magnus aren’t on board, we could be talking about the demise of the very thing that makes us unique.”  “At the end of the day sweetie, it’s about how you feel.  You will do what is right, of course.”  She gives Reid a quick kiss and then leaves.  Reid is left pondering. 

 

Donnie B and Jeff Meyers meet with Board of Directors.  They discuss that having Hogan in a shared GM role is good for business as shows are selling out more frequently.  The board tell the owners that whoever wins between team Bull and team Hogan that it is only for managing rights; they cannot EVER make a play for ownership of the federation (referencing back to Negronomicon’s hostile takeover and subsequently running the company into the ground).  Donnie B promises that will never, eeeeeeever happen aGAIN.

 

Goldust and Cody Rhodes walk up to the Diva’s and starts to proposition them.  All but two walk away.  Cody and Goldust cozy up to the stragglers and as they turn around, they see its El Chango and Senor Vampiro.  Goldust leaps back in surprise and barks at them and starts to walk away.  VamChango attack the Rhodes Brothers.  Cody and Goldust yell they want them in the ring.  Hogan walks up and makes two singles matches for the night.  He turns to VamChango before leaving and says “Nice outfits…SISTERS.”

 

The first match of the night is Wam Bam Arsonist taking on Dirk “the Pick” Devon.  The match never gets underway due to the two brawling and the ref not regaining control.  He ends up throwing the match out.

 

A quick vignette with Diamond Dallas Page and he says that Team Respect is complete but everyone will have to wait until Wrestlemania to see who the remaining partner will be.

 

Bran-Don-Goh comes out to defend the Elitist title against Professor Cobra.  The match is pretty lackluster as there wasn’t a whole lot going on.  About 15 minutes into the match, Reid Rothchild comes out and blasts both men with a chair causing the DQ. However, since both men were attacked, the ref couldn’t award the match to one person so it ended up being a double disqualification.  Master Bull comes out and adds another match to the Wrestlemania card.  It will be Bran-Don-Goh vs Professor Cobra vs “The Elitist” Reid Rothchild in a triple threat match.  None of the men looked happy about it but will just have to deal.

 

The next match has El Chango (in high-class drag) taking on Goldust.  In 24 minutes, El Chango gets the win after hitting a Shooting Star Press.

 

Next up is Senor Vampiro taking on Cody Rhodes.  Vampiro is also dressed in his high-class drag outfit.  In only 5 minutes, Vampiro gets the win after hitting the Mexican Facebuster and rolled Cody up for the 1-2-3.

 

Cactus Jackie comes out for her next match.  Obviously she is unhappy with Master Bull “modifying” her record.  Her opponent is Angelina Love.  About 5 minutes in, Master Bull comes out and stands on the stage.  Jackie sees him and gets thrown off her game.  At 8 minutes in, Angelina hits a top rope cross body block and gets the pin.  This puts Jackie’s win/loss at 1 win, 2 losses.  She needs to win her next two matches or she may not get to participate at Wrestlemania.  She glares at Master Bull from the ring.  Bull smiles and waves.  He has a mic. 

 
“I hope you are all enjoying the show tonight.  We still have a couple of matches left but I have some additional announcements to make.    First, I want to say that with Wrestlemania taking place over 4 days, I am hoping to have everyone on the roster participate in some way, shape or fashion. Now, not everyone is involved in a feud so there will be matches made that may not make sense.  Those not currently involved in a feud will have opponents picked at random.  I will make sure that everyone gets a shot at a payday…Yes, even you Jackie, even if it’s not for a title.”  Master Bull waves to the crowd and then leaves.  Cactus Jackie eventually leaves the ring.
 

Our second to last match has Darren Young taking on Titus O’Neil.  The match goes 22 minutes with Darren kicking his former partner’s butt.  Titus had enough and threw Darren out of the ring.  Darren decided he’d had enough and walked away (not sure why when he was winning the match).  The ref counts him out and awards the match to Titus.  Hulk Hogan came out this time and said that this was not the way things were going down under his watch so he is making another match at Wrestlemania…Darren Young vs Titus O’Neil in a Steel Cage.  Young was not happy about it but Titus couldn’t contain his enthusiasm rubbing his hands together and looked like a lion getting ready to feast on raw flesh.  Darren retreated quickly.  Titus eventually followed.

 

The main event is to determine the #1 contender for the US Title.  This match has Captain Charisma Christian taking on the Great White Hope Sheamus.  In only 6 short minutes, Christian nails Sheamus with a one-man concerto and gets the win.  After the match, US Champion Antonio Cesaro runs down and attacks Christian while North American Champion Alberto Del Rio comes out and attacks Sheamus.  Sheamus nails a Brogue Kick and nearly removes Alberto’s head from his shoulders.  He locks Alberto in a cloverleaf and yells for Del Rio to put his title on the line at Wrestlemania.  Del Rio, screaming in pain, relents.   We now know of 2 people who will be wrestling multiple times at the PPV. 

 

Hulk Hogan comes out again to end the show and thank everyone for coming.  He has a table and chairs set up off the side (it looks a little line the setup from the Tonight Show).  He says that this segment is called HulkNation and what he is gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on Wrestlemania.  He calls out his guest and it is Master Bull.  Master Bull says that he will have his team ready and Hogan’s Cocoa Puffs had better be ready.  Hogan says not to worry that Team Hogan will dismantle Team Franks and Beans and he will be the sole GM.  Hogan gets up and starts to pose.  Master Bull says he has one final announcement and that there will be a battle royal at the PPV and this will be one in remembrance of the late great Andre the Giant.  Hogan looks floored.  “That was gonna be my announcement, BROTHER.  You are stealing my ideas.”  Master Bull looks at him and says “My idea CP (short for Cocoa Puff).  Thank you fans for coming.  Stay tuned as Wrestlemania will be a blockbuster event like no other.”

 

The show ends with Hogan and Master Bull arguing.  Thanks for reading.  Stay tuned for more.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 –03.07

Hello Fans.  Welcome back to our newsletter.  Our show is taped from San Diego, CA.  The show begins with blasting over the loudspeakers “It’s me, it’s me, it’s DDP.  Diamond Dallas Page comes out with microphone in hand.  “Hello San Diego.”  The crowd pops.  “A-Team, last show you told me to go find an army of my own.  Actually, I only need an Army of 2.  So far, one of those has agreed to join in the fight.  He is not able to be here today but he wanted to say hello anyway.  Ladies and Gentlemen…one of my tag team partners is none other than….The ULTIMATE WARRIOR!”  The crowd pops again.  “My friend has a special message for you.”  He points up to the Omegatron.  (We couldn’t do this justice so you’ll just want to visit this link to see what the Ultimate Warrior has to say:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrYwvd6ovCw. )  By the way, UW still has a serious beef with Hogan and that is why he keeps calling him out.
 

We cut to the back where Master Bull is talking to someone in his office.  We only hear the conversation because the door is closed so we can’t see in.

 

Bull:  I’m glad you came.

Mystery Person:  I’m glad you reached out.  Listen, you have to let me participate at Wrestlemania.  I understand it is the chance of a lifetime.  It only makes sense for me to be there.  I can promise that if you allow me to participate, it will take the world by storm.

Bull: Ok.  I think we can make it work.  Next week, we announce your participation.

Mystery Person:  Thanks Bull.  I promise it will be good for business.

Bull: You know, I think you’re right.

We head back to the ring for tonight’s action.

 

Match 1: Uso’s vs the Colon’s.  The bout goes to the 30 minute time limit even though the Uso’s were wiping the mat with their opponents.  After the match, the Colon’s challenged Jimmy and Jey to a 6 man match at Wrestlemania.  The Colon’s would choose a partner of their own and the Uso’s could choose one for themselves.  They agreed and we have another match signed for Wrestlemania.
 

Master Bull then came out for a quick announcement.  “Just a little break in the action but I wanted to make this announcement early.  We just added a new 6 man tag team match to this year’s event.  Last year, Wrestlemania took place over 3 days.  This year, we want all of our roster to be able to partake in our biggest event of the year.   This year, Wrestlemania: The Apocalypse…hang on, that just doesn’t seem to work so I’m dropping the Apocalypse name and just sticking with Wrestlemania” (the crowd pops).  This year, our event will take place over 4 days and will be in….Madison Square Garden in New York City!”  Huge pop from the crowd.  “Ok, back to the action.”  Master Bull then leaves.

 

Next up is Bobby Lashley taking on Rockstar Spud.  In 15 minutes, Lashley gets the win after hitting Spud with a massive kick to the gut.

 

Match #3:  Cactus Jackie taking on Madison Rayne.  In 5 minutes, Jackie gets the submission win after Madison taps out to the Cactus Stretch.  Jackie is now 2 and 1.  She only needs one more win in the next 2 matches.  If she does, she goes on to Wrestlemania.

 

Match #4 is for the #1 contender for the Elitist title with Reid Rothchild taking on Professor Cobra.  In 15 minutes, Professor Cobra gets the countout win over Reid after he was unable (or maybe unwilling) to make it back in the ring.

 

Match #5:  Christian takes on Austin Aries to see who will win the Internet Media title.  Aries is accompanied to the ring by fellow A-Team members Alberto Del Rio and Antonio Cesaro, both of whom hold single titles.  This match was a no DQ match that saw interference from Cesaro and Del Rio.  At the 12 minute mark, Cesaro smashes Christian’s head into the ringpost.  Del Rio slides a table into the ring.  Christian is laid out on the table.  Aries heads to the top rope and nails the Aries 450 onto Christian through the table.  After taking a minute to recover, Aries picks up Christian and hits a Slingshot Corkscrew press.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3 and is declared the Internet Media Champion.

 

We have two main events tonight with one being VamChango (El Chango and Senor Vampiro) taking on the Mexicali Flyers.  The New Japan World Wide tag team titles are on the line here as well as the losers being forced to dress in drag AND appear on camera for 3 shows.  The steel cage is being set up as we cut to the back.

 

Clarkus Kentus is interviewing Ravishing Raquel.  She talks about how she broke her foot skiing and how Master Bull is considering pulling her match from Wrestlemania.  “I promise you, I will be ready for Wrestlemania and the rematch for my title.  Fusion Valentine, no excuses – one of us walks out as the champion.  Bring your A game.  I’ll be bringing mine.”  Clarkus then asks how she is preparing herself for her match.  “Reid buys the best qualify milk and vitamins.  I’ve been building up my system getting myself ready.”  She turns to the camera “It is very important for all you to eat healthy, exercise and take your vitamins in order to live a long and healthy life.”  Clarkus thanks her for her time and we head back to the ring.

 

Senor Vampiro goes on the attack as soon as the bell sounds nailing El Dragon with a Mexican Facebuster. He takes the battle to El Dragon not letting up.  Chango jumps in for the double team but Insano battles back hitting both with a chair.   VamChango continue the double team but Insano keeps using the cage to his advantage.  A flying dropkick to Vampiro allows Insano to tag in Tornado en Fuego.  Tornado takes down Vampiro as Chango makes his way in.  The two battle for 6 minutes; neither giving an inch.  All of a sudden, a masked wrestler makes his way to the ring.  He throws in a chain and Tornado catches it.  He blasts both El Chango and Vampiro with it.  The masked man removes his mask and it’s Malo Leche de Mantequilla.  El Dragon hops in and they tie both members of VamChango to the cage.  They then exit the cage bringing the match to an end.  The Mexicali Flyers retain the titles.  VamChango lose and now must dress in drag for 3 shows.

 

The main event begins as the cage is raised.  CSWA World champion AJ Styles makes his way to the ring.  He takes a mic and calls out whomever would be his opponent since he had yet to be notified.  The lights go off and the eerie blue light comes on and out comes the Undertaker.  He has a mic of his own and says “It’s time.”  He makes his way to the ring for his match.

 

It takes 34 whole minutes before the first fall is decided.  Undertaker hit Styles with a Tombstone piledriver on the floor and he never made it back in.  As the second fall begins, AJ appears almost out on his feet.  He seems unable to continue but the match must go on.  Undertaker tosses him around like a rag doll.  At the 4 minute mark, Taker hits the Last Ride and makes the cover.  AJ is done.  The ref counts 1..2…3.  Undertaker has just won the CSWA World Heavyweight Title.  Undertaker is in the ring celebrating as Brock Lesnar comes out from under the ring and destroys him.  Brock hits 3 consecutive F-5’s before walking away.   Wrestlemania – these two – it’s gonna be a slobberknocker.

 

That’s all for now.  Thanks for reading.  Stay tuned.  More action to come.

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2014 – 03.06

 Hello fans and welcome back.  We are broadcasting live from Las Vegas.  We have an action packed card that promises to keep you glued to your seats.  Clarkus Kentus is backstage and he has an announcement to make.

 

“Hello Fans. Welcome to Las Vegas.  I really didn’t want to start off on such a sour note but it turns out that the dastardly attack by the A-Team on Jake Roberts did a number on him.  It turns out that Jake needed surgery.  After the attack in Albuquerque, Jake went in for emergency surgery.  The good news is that everything went well.  In fact, the hospital let us take a camera in to see ‘the snake’ for a taped video.  Let’s roll it.”

 

We cut to a hospital room and the camera pans until it rest on Jake Roberts laying in his hospital bed.  (The fans cheer in Vegas).  Jake begins. “Hello Vegas.  The Snake here.  I wanted to let you all know that I appreciate the prayers and thoughts you sent my way.  Keep them coming as it will only help me get better faster.  I promise that payback will be a bitch and A-Team, for what you did to me, it will be returned 10-fold.  You see, the snake is a master at the game of manipulation and if for one minute, you think you put me out to pasture, well guess what….you’re wrong.  What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger and the Snake will emerge from this cocoon even deadlier than before.  That is a promise.  Finally, I have one last person to thank and that is DDP.  Page, who knows what they would have done to me had you not shown up.  Thanks brother.  The Snake will return…just you wait.”  Video ends.

 
We are back with Clarkus.  “A very emotional video from the great Jake Roberts.  Now, at this time I would like to bring out the trio responsible for this act…the A-Team.  Del Rio, Aries and Cesaro:  I hope you are all proud of what you did.”  Aries interrupts “We took out the decade old trash.”  Alberto comments “There is no room in this business for has-beens.  The competition is fierce but the A-Team will reign supreme.”   Cesaro takes center stage “Diamond Dallas Page…you stuck your nose in our business.  You put your hands on me.  Well, prepare for YOUR hospital stay as no one does that to me and gets away with it.”  Aries turns and exclaims “What the hell?”  Walking on camera is none other than DDP and he is armed with a steel chair.  “It’s me, it’s me, it’s DDP.  A-Team, you crossed the line attacking my good friend Jake.  Jake sends me in with a message.  Someone needs to teach you three the meaning of the word respect.”  Aries jumps in his face “Really and that is going to be who?  You old man?  You will need an army if you expect to take us on.”  Master Bull comes in and immediately separates the two team.  “Page, I need to see you in my office now.  A-Team, leave.  I had better not see you cause any trouble or I’ll make your lives a living hell.”  The A-Team leaves and Page follows Master Bull.

We cut to one of the dressing rooms and we see Hulk Hogan there talking on the phone…we do not know to whom.  “Listen Brother.  My contract states I get controlling interest in these federations and I need to make my play now.  I can’t give that goofball Bull any time to get his affairs in order.  (he pauses while listening) Yeah, that is a great idea.  I’m going to head down to the ring now and make if official.  Thanks for the chat, Brother.”  The Hulkster gets up and leaves the room not even paying attention to the camera that was there.  I guess what he was talking about is no longer a secret but I think we need to follow him to see what is going on.

“Voodoo Child” hits and out walks Hulk Hogan.  He makes a beeline for the ring.  He gets in and turns on the mic.  “Fans of the CSWA and HWF, the Hulkster is here, live and in person.  Vegas is a betting town and it is time for me to take over the CSWA and HWF.  Bull, you’ve tried; sometimes hitting the mark; sometimes way off.  It is time for the Hulkster to pick up the ball you’ve dropped and run with it.”  Master Bull comes out and he is not happy.  He makes his way to the ring.  “Hogan, you have some nerve.  This is my show; not yours.  You don’t come in here taking over the house I’ve built.”  “Someone has to Brother.  You’re not exactly a wrestling mind but I’ve been in this business for over 30 years and I will tell you, I know how to run it.”  Bull looks confused “So what you are saying is that ‘you had the ball’ when you ran with WCW and proceeded to not only run it into the ground but also cost Ted Turner billions of dollars?  Where were the asses in those seats?  You are NOT taking this from me.”  Hogan shakes his head “You marks will never learn.  I am taking over.  I am already in control.  What you think you have is only a Mirage (pun intended as we are in Vegas after all).  What did the owners actually say to you?  I had you by the ‘franks and beans’”.  The fans begin chanting Franks and Beans.  (A bit of forshadowing:  by the end of the show, Franks and Beans was the #1 tweet around the world).  Master Bull lets the chanting die down.  “You’ll never get this show.  Not while I’m here.  But if you really want me out, go gather a team and at Wrestlemania, Team Master Bull will take on Hogan’s Cocoa Puffs, er, I mean Team Hogan (Hogan’s Cocoa Puffs was a very close #2 tweet)  with the victor’s team awarding 100% managerial rights for the HWF and CSWA.”  “You’re on Brother.”  Hogan stares down at Bull before leaving.  The fans chanted “Cocoa Puffs” at Hogan all the way to the back.  Hogan walks back to his dressing room and picks up the phone.  He dials a number.  “It’s all done.  Time to put the plan into action”.  Hogan then closes the door to his office.

Here are the matches and the results:

Cactus Jackie gets her 2^nd win against Nikki Bella after getting Nikki to tap out to the Cactus Clutch in 12 minutes.

Right after this match, we cut to a commotion in the back.  VamChango seem to be trying to pick a fight with fellow countryman Malo Leche de Mantequilla.  There is a lot of shoving going on until VamChango unloaded on Malo.  They beat him down pretty bad until the Mexicali Flyers jump in for the save.  They chase VamChango off and help Malo up.  He nods in appreciation and all shake hands. 

The next match of the night is Ryback taking on Bobby Lashley in Lashley’s first singles match back.  Bobby is wiping the mat with Ryback.  He hasn’t lost a step.  The tide turns however when Bully Ray makes his way down causing a distraction.  Ryback uses this to his advantage and nails Lashley with the Meathook.  He makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  After the match, Bully jumps in and starts to kick and stomp on Bobby.  Bobby battles back hitting a Dominator.  Bully rolls out of the ring and scurries to the back.

Another backstage commotion is taking place between Dirk “the Pick” Devon and Wam Bam Arosonist.  Dirk is accusing Wam of costing Mike the title, Mike’s livelihood but more importantly, Dirk’s partner and band teammate.  Dirk tells Wam to watch his back but Arsonist does not take too well to the threat so he gets into Dirk’s face.  There’s a bit of shoving and punches thrown but it ends pretty quick when Arsonist hits the Pick with the “Wham Bam Thank you Ma’am” and Dirk falls to the ground; eyes wide in horror.  Dirk exclaims “I want you in the ring, man.  You’ll pay.”  Wam Bam stands over him “You think you scare me?  I’ve seen a lot worse than you.  But if you want me in the ring, you need to put some skin in the game.  That title…it’s on the line whether or not you like it.  When you are ready to lose, you let me know.

US Champion Mark Henry came out for his match next against A-Team member Antonio Cesaro.  In 20 minutes, the first fall goes to Antonio after he hits a cradle facebuster.  The second fall goes 25 minutes.  Henry was setting up for the World’s strongest slam when the other A-Team members – Alberto Del Rio and Austin Aries come out distracting the champion.  Cesaro hits the cradle facebuster again and with his feet on the ropes, gets the 1-2-3.  Antonio Cesaro has just defeated Mark Henry to become the NEW US CHAMPION.  His tag team partners join him in the ring and they all celebrate.

A quick interview with DDP and he says that he will be announcing his tag team partner next week.  With this reveal, everyone will feel the BANG!

Next on the card is Alberto Del Rio taking on Curtis Axel for the North American title.  Del Rio gets the first fall in 22 minutes after pinning Axel with a rolling cross armbreaker.  9 minutes later Del Rio hits a double arm breaker and rolls Axel up for the win.  Alberto Del Rio wins the North American Title.  This is the second singles title won by a member of the A-Team.  Aries and Cesaro comes out to celebrate with their teammate.  Austin Aries acknowledges that he is the final member of the team without a title so he calls out Christian for his title shot at the Internet Media Championship. 

In 16 minutes, Christian gets the first fall after hitting Aries with the Unprettier.  Before the second fall could begin, Del Rio and Cesaro jump in the ring and attack Christian.  The ref eventually gets them out and rings the bell.  The next fall goes 20 minutes and favors Aries.  The beatdown the A-Team put on Christian put him at a disadvantage.  The third round goes the final 22 minutes declaring a time limit draw.  The ref tries to give Christian back his title but Aries steals it and blasts Christian with it.  Austin Aries stands with his teammates and all raise their titles in victory.  Master Bull comes out and it seems that the match was ended prematurely…by 2 minutes. He makes the decision to hold the title up and these two will meet in a week to decide who the champion is. 

The second to last match is the Mexicali Flyers taking on VamCango.  The Flyers NJWW tag team titles are on the line.  Since these belts are not HWF/CSWA authorized, there is no automatic rematch clause.  The battle goes for 5 minutes with Tornado en Fuego getting counted out.  Since the titles can’t change hands on a countout, the Flyers still retain but it is under question if the Flyers (since they lost the match via countout) would have to dress in drag.  Master Bull came out and said no, and said to restart the match. 

The challengers brought the fight to the champs even double teaming them for almost a third of the match.  The flyers just kept fighting back.   Insano hits a Guerrero stomp on El Chango and then tags out to Tornado who hits Chango with a Tornado punch sending him to the outside.  Insano runs over and nails Chango with a  Brainbuster on the floor.  He is out.  Vampiro runs over and brawls with Insano and the ref ends up counting Chango out at the 20 minute mark.  The Mexicali Flyers retain their titles via countout decision but again, we are in the same predicament.  Master Bull comes out again and says that a winner must be decided by pinfall and to avoid anyone getting counted out, at the next show, this would be moved to a steel cage.  The winner of that match will be the NJWW tag team championships.  The losers will have to dress in drag for 3 consecutive shows.

Everyone leaves to make way for the main event.  The challenger Daniel Bryan comes out first and he is followed by HWF World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar.  This will be a best of 3 falls; 60 minute time limit.  In 9 minutes, Brock takes the first fall after nailing Bryan with the F-5.  For the first 19 minutes, Daniel had total control and was dominating the World Champion.  The tide turned however after Bryan got tossed out of the ring and Brock picked him up and rammed his back repeatedly into the steel post.  After that, Bryan could barely stand.  Brock toyed with him for 6 minutes and after a back body drop sent Bryan up 10 feet into the air and he crashed hard on the mat, Brock walked over and with one finger pinned Daniel Bryan.  Brock Lesnar retains the HWF World title. 

All of a sudden, the lights go out and an eerie blue light fills the arena.  The Undertaker’s music hits and Brock is leaning over the ropes hollering for Undertaker to come out.  What he fails to notice is that Undertaker is already there standing behind him.  Brock turns around and eats a big boot.  Undertaker calls for the Tombstone Piledriver but Brock quickly rolls out.  Brock’s eyes are wide with surprise and he backs cautiously back up the ramp.  Undertaker raises his arm and the lights come back up.  Undertaker leaves the ring.

That is all we have for now.  Stay Tuned as we have more great action to report on coming up.