Hello fans and welcome to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. We are quickly closing on issue #900 but for now, we continue our build up to April’s 3 day PPV – Critical Mass.
Our
show begins backstage in the office of GM Max McGillicutty, we see a board laid
out with tonight’s matches. We see that
Ladies Champion Korbi Kong is teaming with Violet Valkyrie to take on ‘Sassy’
Maxine DeVito and J9. Korbi walks in and
says that Violet is missing. She texted
she was on her way but has not shown up yet.
Max says it’s probably just traffic and bad cell coverage.
Pyro
goes off kicking off today’s show. First
out is 5th Column member Baron von Blood. He is booed heavily as he makes his way to
the ring. He flips off the fans which
just gets them more riled up. He gets
into the ring and continues to taunt the fans until the music changes and out
comes Derek Deveraux. He gets a nice pop
from the local crowd as he makes his way ringside. He gets into the ring only to be ambushed by
the Baron. The ambush took all the wind
out of Derek’s sails as he was fortunate to get in only 3 offensive moves. Baron von Blood dominated even though Derek
managed to hit the Whiplash and went for a pin only for Baron to kick right
out. Baron turned up the heat and
eventually locked in the Brain Klaw and he got Derek to tap out. Baron von Blood gets the win in dominating
fashion. (12 min)
The
World Champion the Wicked Prophet makes his way out and responds to losing the
crown. “Everyone knows Ragin Cajun is not truly worthy of the Crown. I was
dominating the Hell in the Cell match, it was more like a stroll in the park.
The Bumbling Bayou Bastard and that diabolical Buzz Steel won’t know what hit
‘em. VENGENCE WILL BE MINE! In regards
to challengers to my title, no one is worthy.”
Davis Hoffmeister comes out stating he’s a multi-title holder and
Prophet calls him a multi-time has been.
Prophet tells Davis to put his career on the line. Davis agrees.
Our
next match is ready to being. The winner
gets the next shot at the World Tag Team titles held by Dash Woodbrick and
Apollo Gyze. First, Buzz and Starbuck
Steel – the Steel Curtain come out to a huge pop from the crowd. They get their time to interact with the
fans. Next, The Regulators – Mule and
Mammoth – come out to a mixed reaction from the crowd. They make their way down to the ring and
enter. We don’t have to wait long for
the match to begin. This one went longer
than expected with the Regulators taking the fight to the Steel Curtain. At the 14 minute mark, Mammoth got injured
after eating a superkick from Buzz that sent him over the top rope crashing to
the floor. This left Mule to take on the Steel Curtain. He did pretty well dropping Buzz with a DDT
and going for the pin. Starbuck made the
save. Starbuck is tagged in. Mule drops Starbuck with an inverted
superplex. He goes for the pin but Buzz
made the save. The Curtain tried to
double team Mule but he reversed it sending Buzz to the outside and hitting
Starbuck with another inverted superplex.
He went for the cover and Buzz barely made it in for the save. Buzz is tagged in and Mule immediately drops
him with a DDT. He makes the cover and
gets the 1-2-3. The Regulators get the
win and be meeting Apollo and Dash in a week. (18 min)
The
Banker is backstage with his manager Ruth Heartless and he says that he’s
taking it all home tonight. He’s making
a special deposit to ensure maximum withdrawal.
Ladies
Champion Korbi Kong comes to the ring and the fans pop. She gets on the mic and says that her tag
team partner Violet Valkyrie has gone missing.
She knows that Maxine and J9 had something to do with that. She is interrupted by ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito
who comes out mockingly crying. “Oh, what’s the matter? Your widdle friend left you high and
dry?” She begins to laugh. J9 says that Violet is and will always be a
non-factor. J9 tells Korbi that it looks
as if she’s on her own in this handicap match.
The 2 ladies begin laughing until music hits and out comes Catalina
Harper. Catalina tells Korbi that if she
wants a partner in this match, she’d be happy to step up. Korbi welcomes her to the ring. Once in the ring, the match begins. Korbi and Catalina worked well together and
nullified the threat that Maxine and J9 thought they had. J9 had a near win when she locked Catalina
in a modified STF but Catalina made it to the ropes to break the hold. She immediately hit J9 with the Cat’s Meow
and went for the pin but Maxine broke the attempt before a one count. J9 tags out to Maxine who comes in and mocks
Catalina. Just then, the fans popped as
Violet Valkyrie rushed out carrying a chair.
J9 saw her coming and immediately took off. Violet dropped the chair and chased her
through the crowd. Maxine, stunned that
her partner left her, turned around into a Jaw Jacker from Catalina. She went for the pin and got the 1-2-3. Korbi and Catalina get the win. Maxine struggled to her feet and continued
her smack talk only for Korbi to hit her with a flying dropkick that sent
Maxine to the floor. Catalina and the
Ladies Champion celebrated while Maxine muttered to herself on the walk to the
back. (14 min)
We
cut to the back with TV Champion Texas Wildfire. TW says he and the Banker have had a history
and a lot of it revolved around the TV title.
Wildfire tells the Banker that he, like the Million Dollar Man Ted
Dibiasi before him, that money can’t buy everything and tonight, that check the
Banker is trying to cut will bounce.
Also
backstage in his dressing room, Davis ‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister is pacing. He says tonight is make it or break it for
him. Either he unseats Prophet and takes
the World title or he’s done. He’s held
multiple titles in HCW and tonight, he gets another belt for the shelf. Davis says that when you back an animal into
a corner, you’d better be prepared for what comes next.
It’s
time for the TV title defense. First,
the Banker and Ruth Heartless come out to “Money, money, money, moneeeeeeeey”
plays and they are booed loudly. He
doesn’t seem to care. He just pats his
briefcase and continues walking to the ring.
He hands the briefcase to Ruth who remains on the outside of the
ring. The music changes and out comes TV
Champion Texas Wildfire. The fans give
him probably the loudest pop of the night so far. He high fives the fans and makes his way to
the ring. Before he can enter, he is
blindsided by Dr. Red Fang who hurls him into the steel post and the steel
steps repeatedly. Wildfire is busted
open, battered and bruised. Fang picks
him up and nails a Transylvania Piledriver on the floor. Wildfire is out. Fang picks up the body and rolls him into the
ring. Ruth demands the time keeper ring
the bell to get this one started.
Texas
Wildfire is on defense for 3 more rounds.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
Texas
Wildfire rolled DC
The
Banker rolled OC.
The Banker
executes a FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER....
Texas
Wildfire attempts to defend against FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER but is
unsuccessful.
Texas
Wildfire is on defense for 2 more rounds.
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
Texas
Wildfire rolled DC
The Banker
rolled OC.
The Banker
executes a FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER....
Texas
Wildfire attempts to defend against FORECLOSURE FRANKENSTEINER but is
unsuccessful.
Texas
Wildfire is on defense for 1 more rounds.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
Texas
Wildfire rolled DC
The Banker
rolled OC.
The Banker
executes a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER....
Texas
Wildfire absorbs the punishment.
The
Banker is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Texas
Wildfire was pinned by The Banker!!!
The
Banker wins with a REPOSSESSION RIB-BUSTER over Texas Wildfire!!!
The
Banker gets the win and steals the TV title.
Unbelievable. I am sure that Texas
Wildfire will want to get even with Fang.
The Banker and Ruth stand tall with the title while the fans boo. Eventually, they leave. Wildfire had to be helped to the back by
medics. He refused to get on a gurney.
Backstage,
the World Champion the Wicked Prophet says that one by one, all the ‘humpty
dumpties’ will fall off the wall and shatter leaving them a broken mess and an
afterthought. Prophet laughs when he
says that Drew the Canadian Love Machine is gone and ‘the Hoff’ will be next.
It’s
time for our Main Event. First, Davis
‘the Hoff’ Hoffmeister comes out to a very loud pop from the crowd. He walks to the ring and shakes hands with
the fans along the way. He climbs the
steps and enters the ring. He begins
doing some light stretches. The music
changes and out comes the World Champion the Wicked Prophet. Prophet is booed heavily and as he walked to
the ring, fans threw their stuffed (soft plush) Masked Banana toys at him. He just laughed at them. He climbed into the ring and got into Davis’
face holding the World Title right in front of him. He stepped back and handed the title to the
ref. Before the bell could ring, GM Max
McGillicutty came out. He said that the
importance of this match could not be decided on a single fall so he was making
this a ‘Best of 3 falls – 60 minute match’.
The bell then rang to get this one going.
The
first fall goes to Davis Hoffmeister who managed to reverse a SMITE and put the
champion down with a piledriver. 16
minutes elapsed; 44 remaining.
The
second fall goes to the Champion the Wicked Prophet who hit the Devil’s Snare
at the 17 minute mark.
We
now join the 3rd and final fall – 27 minutes remaining.
=====
In the 1st minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a CHOKE IN CORNER....
=====
In the 2nd minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a PILEDRIVER....
The Wicked
Prophet neutralizes PILEDRIVER.
=====
In the 3rd minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a CLOTHESLINE....
The Wicked
Prophet absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 4th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC/TT
The Wicked
Prophet executes a BAPHOMET BRUISER....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a ROUNDHOUSE KICK....
=====
In the 5th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet executes a BAPHOMET BRUISER....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a CLOTHESLINE....
=====
In the 6th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a CLOTHESLINE....
The
Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister does not submit!
=====
In the 7th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet executes a DEVIL'S SNARE....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 8th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled OC.
The Wicked
Prophet executes a BAPHOMET BRUISER....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister executes a HOLLYWOOD CLUTCH (CAMEL)....
=====
In the 9th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet executes a EXILE FROM THE RING....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister absorbs the punishment.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister is on the outside. The ref begins the count.
1...2...3...4...5...6...
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister makes it back into the ring at the 6 count.
=====
In the 10th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet rolled DC
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
Both Men in
rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet executes a GNASHING OF THE TEETH....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister neutralizes GNASHING OF THE TEETH.
=====
In the 11th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet executes a SMITE....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister attempts to defend against SMITE but is
unsuccessful.
The
Wicked Prophet is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister kicks out of the pin!
=====
In the 12th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet executes a THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister absorbs the punishment.
The
Wicked Prophet straps in the THE CRUCIFIX CLUTCH.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister does not submit!
=====
In the 13th minute of the match: =====
The Wicked
Prophet rolled OC.
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister rolled DC
The Wicked
Prophet executes a UNRIGHTEOUS DOMINION....
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister absorbs the punishment.
The
Wicked Prophet is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Davis
"the Hoff" Hoffmeister was pinned by The Wicked Prophet!!!
The
Wicked Prophet wins with the UNRIGHTEOUS DOMINION over Davis "the
Hoff" Hoffmeister!!!
Wicked
Prophet gets the win in a very hard fought battle. Prophet takes his title from the ref, looks
and Davis and then turns and leaves.
Davis eventually makes it to his feet and the fans begin a “Thank you
Davis” chant. The Hoff makes his way up
the ramp, turns and waves to the fans before disappearing behind the curtain.
Wow,
two retirement matches and two veterans gone.
It seems that the Wicked Prophet is becoming a ‘Legend Killer’. Who will stop him?
Stay
tuned.
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