Hello
fans and welcome to our 575th issue.
We have a stacked card today with 2 title matches on the line. Both the Ladies title and World title will be
on the line with our main event taking place within the confines of a steel
cage.
Kicking
off the show is a challenge for a future shot at the World title. First, Sonic Blade comes out to a huge pop
from the crowd. Next, the man that cost
him his spot in the lineup is King Wilber Townsend. Wilber comes out on his own having forsaken
the ride in his throne. He wants this
match just as bad as Sonic does.
For
the first 10 minutes of the match, Sonic took the fight to Wilber who struggled
just to keep up with him. Sonic then got
tossed out of the ring. Wilber followed
him out and then rammed his back into the steel post 3 times. Sonic looks to be
hurt. Wilber rolls back in but somehow
Sonic also makes it back in before the 10 count. Wilber is astonished. Wilber then went on an offensive run that saw
Sonic hit 2 offensive moves in the following 8 minutes. With the backing of the fans, Sonic started
to battle back and even hit Wilber with the Alhambra Attack (tackle) but could
not make the cover. Sonic went for a
Brazilian Press (Lou Thesz) but Wilber held on and dumped Sonic out of the ring
again. Wilber threw Sonic into the steel
steps and then dragged him back in. He
then delivered hammering blows to Sonic’s back.
Wilber then made the quick cover and got the 1-2-3. King Wilber retains his title shot and now
Sonic is out of any future title matches.
Wilber begins to cackle and laugh but Sonic hits him with the Alhambra
Attack that sent his royalness flying out of the ring. (23 min)
Backstage,
Larry Morton is with the Super Shockmaster.
SS says that he will utterly destroy Adam Jameson in this match and then
he can put this feud to rest. SS says
that he never received the rematch he was due for the US title so that will be
next on his list.
Adam
Jameson is backstage with Clarkus Kentus and AJ says that he is absolutely tired
of the Super Shockmaster running ruckshot over the roster including him. Tonight, this ends their feud and this time
he promises to be the one standing at the end.
Our
next match is ready to begin. The Super
Shockmaster makes his way out first in his glitter-covered Stormtrooper
helmet. He cackles and laughs as he
makes his way into the ring. Next, Adam
Jameson comes out to a nice pop from the crowd.
He wastes no time and gets in the ring immediately. The ref reminds us that this will be a
Phoenix death match rules and the only way someone can win is on a pin
attempt. Adam owned SS in this
match. AJ kept SS off his feet with the
Adam Bomb and the Adam’s Clash. Just as
Adam was setting up SS for a smack with a 2x4, SS threw salt in AJ’s eyes blinding
him. SS then connected with a power
headbutt from the top rope. He made the
cover and got the 1-2-3. Super
Shockmaster gets the win much to the disappointment of the fans. SS stands and cackles and mocks the
crowd. He doesn’t see AJ get to his feet. AJ turns him around nailing the Adam’s
Clash. Adam then went and removed SS’s
helmet. The guy underneath was wearing a
cloth mask over his head so his face was not revealed. He did roll out of the ring and take off to
the back in a hurry. Adam may have lost
this war but at least he walked out with a trophy. (10 min)
We
head to the back again and ScooterJ is with Clarkus Kentus. ScooterJ tells Clarkus that with all the crap
he had to put up with against Prestige Inc., he finally gets the nod from the
championship committee (actually just GM Max McGillicutty) for a shot at the
world title. ScooterJ addresses Texas
Wildfire and tells him that he is not the Stache; he is not Drew the Canadian
Love Machine…he is ScooterJ and he will be walking out the World Champion
tonight.
Back
with Larry Morton is the World Champion Texas Wildfire. TW says that ScooterJ is right; he has not
faced anyone like him but then again, neither has ScooterJ. TW says that the fans are on his side and
after their match, he walks out with his title intact.
We
head back to the ring for our next match.
The challenger ScooterJ comes out first to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Next, the World Champion’s music hits and out
comes Texas Wildfire to a huge pop from the crowd. TW gets in the ring and he and ScooterJ stare
eye to eye. TW extends his hand but
ScooterJ does not shake it. TW owns the
match and try as he could, ScooterJ could not keep up with him. About 12 minutes in, Prestige Inc. members
TNT, Chic Monroe and Bishop Ripley came out with Master Bull. Bull directed TNT to do something but he
seemed reluctant to do it. Bull had to
yell at him to get him moving. Chic distracted
the ref long enough for TNT to jump in the ring, look at Bull and then hit
ScooterJ with a massive clothesline.
Instead of inflicting more punishment, he left the ring. ScooterJ eventually made it back to his feet
but TW also recovered and hit a snap powerslam.
The ref (no longer distracted) counted 1…2…3. Texas Wildfire is victorious and retains his title. Prestige Inc. then storm the ring dumping TW
out of the ring and went on to attack ScooterJ.
Wendell Hammmerschmidt ran down with a chair and cleared Prestige Inc.
from the ring. GM Max McGillicutty comes
out and says he’s tired of Master Bull and Prestige Inc. interfering in matches
so he’s making a six man match right now…TW, ScooterJ and Wendell vs Prestige
Inc. and that is happening now!
ScooterJ
started off against Bishop Ripley as immediately got double teamed. TNT joined Bishop and hit ScooterJ with the
TNT. He then left the ring. Bishop hurled ScooterJ out of the ring. TW and Wildfire jumped in the ring to fight
with Chic and Bishop. TNT ran to where
ScooterJ was but was in for a shock when ScooterJ surprised him with a spear
that sent them both through the ringside barrier. Just then, the Huber Clan ran down and
attacked Prestige Inc. and the bell was rung ending this in a disqualification
against the team of TW, Wendell and ScooterJ.
The Hubers were eventually chased off after TNT recovered and went after
them. ScooterJ then joined TW and
Wendell in the ring and he once again had a staredown with the world champion. He then extended his hand to the champ who
shook it. The fans pop as the three
celebrate a few moments before leaving.
Backstage,
Figaroa “Figgy” Newton is with Taylor Bella and Larry Morton. Figgy says that in two weeks, he’ll have a
team that will defeat all teams but for now, it is Taylor’s night and he
motions to her. Taylor says that the
only reason Starr is the Ladies Champion is because of luck…not skill. You want to see skill, you’re looking at her.
Figgy nods and laughs. Taylor says
tonight is her night and she becomes the champion whether Starr likes it or
not. Taylor then looks at the camera and
says “Oh, and hey sis, congrats and Thanks…NOT…for inviting me to see the
baby. She then storms off and Figgy
follows.
The
Ladies Champion Starr Vixen is with Clarkus Kentus and she says that Taylor has
some issues. Nevertheless, tonight is
her night when she becomes a defending champion. Taylor can bring in all her sisters but none
of that will help her after she’s flat out on the mat counting the ceiling
lights for 3 seconds.
It’s
time for the next match. Taylor Bella
comes out to a mixed reaction from the crowd accompanied by her manager Figgy
Newton. Figgy points to one fan’s sign
that says “Starr’s the real champ” and Figgy tells him to hold onto it as it
will be a collector’s item once Taylor defeats her for the title. He laughs and heads to the ring. Next, the Ladies Champion Starr Vixen comes
out to a huge pop from the crowd. Starr takes
her time interacting with the fans and an impatient Taylor paces in the ring
hollering for her to get in there. Taylor
went on the attack and held the advantage over Starr for the entire match. Starr didn’t seem prepared for the ferocity
that Taylor brought. 9 minutes in,
Taylor hit Starr with the sitout facebuster.
Figgy hollered to go for the pin but Taylor shook her head no. She wanted to hit her move again. Taylor set Starr up and was ready to hit the move
but Starr weaseled out of it and locked in a scissored armbar right in the
middle of the ring. Taylor, caught off
guard, had no choice but to tap out.
Starr Vixen retains her belt and holds it high but Taylor attacks her
from behind and drops her again with a Sitout Facebuster. She screams and kicks the bottom rope and
then leaves with Figgy in tow. Starr
recovers and takes her title and leaves as the fans pop for her. (10 min)
The
ring crew begin assembling the Steel Cage for our main event.
Backstage,
Magnum Kone is with Larry Morton. He
tells Larry that Pete is a lost soul who needs to be put away for his own good. He doesn’t condone this normally but Pete is
just one of those who doesn’t understand the meaning of control and although he
can handle what Pete can dish out, someone else may not so it is up to him
right here…right now…to rid HCW of Pete the PUN-isher and all his insanely bad
puns.
Pete
the PUN-isher is backstage with Clarkus Kentus.
Pete asks Clarkus “Do you know when a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.” Ha ha.
“Here’s another one. Your
calendar days are numbered”. HAHA. “Wait, here is the best one. If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer ever team
up, they’d be alloys”. HAHHAHA. “Greatest
Puns in history aside, Magnum, you call me unstable you Good Humor reject? You are the one who dresses like he should be
in a loony bin and after I beat your ass in the cage that is where you’ll need
to go to recover your sanity. PUNS
FOREVER!”
From
the loudspeakers blares “8:13 and it’s time for dessert” and out comes Magnum
Kone to a huge pop from the crowd. He is
pushing the ice cream cart and he empties it giving all the goodies to the kids
and fans at ringside. He makes his way
in the cage and begins to warm up. Next “PUNS
FOREVER” blares and out comes the PUN-isher.
Pete Punsher makes his way down and seeing a fan enjoying their ice
cream, he forcibly grabs it and smashes in on the ground. He motions to Magnum that is what he’ll do to
him. Pete enters the cage and the door
is locked. For 19 minutes, these two
beat the holy hell out of each other not giving an inch. Pete tried to use brass knuckles on Magnum early
but he got them off of Pete’s fist and ended up in the corner. Magnum went for only one pin attempt during
this time after hitting the Push Pop but Pete kicked out. Pete then dragged Magnum’s face across the
cage drawing blood but that didn’t stop the King of Cones. We join the match now at the 19 min mark.
=====
In the 19th minute of the match: =====
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher executes a COMBING THE DESERT....
Magnum
Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....
=====
In the 20th minute of the match: =====
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher executes a PUN-T TO HEAD....
Magnum
Kone executes a THE CHOCO TACO (BACKBREAKER)....
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...
Magnum
Kone kicks out of the pin!
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher gets -7 points for the pin attempt.
=====
In the 21st minute of the match: =====
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher rolled DC
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
Both
Men in rolled DC
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher executes a COMBING THE DESERT....
Magnum
Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....
=====
In the 22nd minute of the match: =====
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone rolled DC
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher executes a DAZZLE FANS WITH BAD PUNS....
Magnum
Kone absorbs the punishment.
=====
In the 23rd minute of the match: =====
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher rolled OC.
Magnum
Kone rolled OC.
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher executes a DAZZLE FANS WITH BAD PUNS....
Magnum
Kone executes a THE POPSICLE (PILEDRIVER)....
Magnum
Kone is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Pete
Punsher aka the Pun-isher was pinned by Magnum Kone!!!
Magnum
Kone is attempting to climb out of the cage!
Magnum
Kone climbs out of the cage!
Magnum
Kone wins with a Climb out of steel cage over Pete Punsher aka the Pun-isher!!!
Magnum
Kone makes it to the floor and is declared the winner of this feud. Pete is still in the ring and is slow to get
up. Two men dressed in white come out
and enter the cage. They appear to wrap
Pete up in what appears to be a straightjacket.
Pete recovers and sees what they are doing and freaks out. “IT WAS ALL AN ACT…I WAS PLAYING A CHARACTER…IT’S
NOT REAL” and he is hauled to the back screaming all the way. Magnum celebrates with the fans (although he
is a bit scary with his crimson mask) and then eventually leaves bringing the
show to an end.
That’s
all for now. Thanks for reading. Be sure to join us for our next episode.
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