Thursday, January 7, 2016

HWF/CSWA Wrestling Newsletter 2016 – #435


Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  GM Max McGillicutty has promised that today’s main event will complete the top 10’s for all of the HWF’s titles (World, Intercontinental and X-Division).  That will take place in a battle royal.  Those who stick around the longest will be placed into respective line ups that will offer the best quality matches.

Our show kicks off with the debut of two new women wrestlers.  First, Naomi makes her way to the ring and gets an ok pop.  Her opponent Alexa Bliss makes her way to the ring.  The two shake hands as the bell rings.  Both women vied for the fans approval throughout the match.  This one surprisingly went on for quite a long time and finally came to an end after Alexa nailed a moonsault knee drop onto Naomi.  She made the cover and got the 3 count.  Both women, exhausted, shook hands as they left the ring.  (28 min)

GM Max McGillicutty “interrupts” the broadcast saying that due to some strategic plans he has in store for certain wrestlers, Kurt Angle was granted a trade back to CSWA and Big Show was moved to the HWF in his place.  Max says that Big Show will be part of the main event’s battle royal.

We head back to the ring for the debut of a male wrestler.  First though, his opponent Lucas Johnston (no longer ‘lukewarm’ as he’s actually getting a reaction now from the fans) makes his way to the ring.  Main lights go out and alternating white and red flashes illuminate the arena.  Max’s newest addition, Dr. Red Fang, makes his way to the ring.  While we know absolutely nothing about Dr. Red Fang, he completely tore up Lucas Johnston.  It was a bloodbath (minus the blood).  Dr. Red Fang ends up getting the win with the ‘Vampire Lunge’ in 13 min.  After the match, Larry Morton tried to interview the good Dr. 

Larry:  “Dr. Red Fang, you are new here but we know nothing about you.  What can you tell me about yourself?
Fang:  “I don’t get paid enough to answer your questions.”
Larry:  “Are you even going to bother answering my questions?”
Fang:  “If you have questions, ask that fool over there.”
Larry:  “Well, you certainly are rude!”
Fang:  “Yell at me again and I will choke you out!  Dr. Red Fang doesn’t answer questions; I break bones.”
Larry:  “Now just a minute here…”

Dr. Red Fang then attacks Larry Morton and hits him with the Vampire Lunge and then chokes Larry out on the ground.  4 referees run out and have to pull Fang off of Morton.  Uh Oh, Morton is spitting blood.  Medics are out with a stretcher and they take Larry to the waiting ambulance in the back.  As the medics are rushing Larry to the back, Dr. Red Fang attacks again and dumps Larry off the stretcher.  He picks Larry up and then launches him, head first, into the side of the ambulance.  Now, security is there and they herd Dr. Red Fang out of there, hissing and snarling.

We cut to the interview area where we see the Steel Curtain.  Buzz and Starbuck Steel address the comments made from the last show by the Ascension.  Starbuck says he’s wrestling tonight in singles competition but at any time they want a tag match, they’re willing.  Buzz then speaks up and says that the Ascension like to talk crap when no one is around to confront them.  If they want a fight, they will not be hard to find.

Time to go back to the ring for our next match.  “The King of Cones” Magnum Kone is taking on Steel Curtain member Starbuck Steel for placement.  Magnum brings a bag of ice cream to the ring and makes like he’s going to share it with the fans but then pulls it away and laughs at them.  Before the match could begin, Kone’s stooges Haagen and Daas attack Starbuck beating him down for Kone.  The ref “Honest Abe” sends the stooges away from the ring.  Magnum is not happy about that and goes on the offensive.  Starbuck then starts to battle back and take the match to the King of Cones.  Both men attempted for a pin numerous times but towards the end of the match, Starbuck’s partner Buzz Steel makes his way to the ring.  Buzz takes the container of ice cream sandwiches and hands them to the fans much to the dismay of Magnum.  Magnum turns to yell at Buzz but then turns around and shoves an ice cream sandwich into his mouth.  Magnum is pissed and turns and Starbuck hits him with the “Buck U” (neckbreaker).  Starbuck makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.  Magnum is pissed and tries to go back after Starbuck but he and Buzz take off through the crowd handing out the remaining ice cream sandwiches as they go.  Magnum eventually leaves the ring.  (21 min)

We cut back to Max in his office and he drops another bombshell saying that he will be creating a new division (and titles) for a Women’s Tag Team division.  Once all the newest performers debut, the teams will be set up and the tournament will commence.
                                                          
US Champion Phat Sol makes his way to the ring.  He thanks the fans for their support and looks forward to representing them as a (not THE) people’s champion.  He is interrupted by Heath Slater.  Slater says that he has been left off many a top 10 and isn’t given a chance to even show his stuff.  Slater asks Phat Sol if he’s going to be a snob of a champ or will he be a man and grant him a title shot right here and now.  Phat looks to the fans and they applaud.  Phat says it’s on.  This is a pretty close match but the champ was definitely more dominating.  At the 7 minute mark, Phat nails the “Phat’s Enough” and gets the 3 count.  Phat Sol is victorious in his first title defense.  He celebrates with the fans before heading to the back.

GM Max McGillicutty comes out and says that it is time for the main event.  This will be used to fill in the blanks for the World, Intercontinental and X-Division titles.  Max has the entire roster of the HWF come out to the stage.  Max then takes 10 people at a time and sends them to the ring.  The match begins with people trying to get a leg up on everyone else.  After 5 people were eliminated, he would send another 5.  This was done until everyone (CJ did NOT participate as he is hitting the gym training) got in the ring.  The final 3 people in the ring were D’Von Dudley, Ethan Carter III and Big Show.  Try as they might, D’Von and ECIII could not eliminate the Big Show.  Show blasted D’Von with a knockout punch that sent him over the top rope to the floor below eliminating him.  Show then chokeslammed ECIII twice and then picked him up like a rag doll and disposed of him easily.  Big Show wins the tournament and will be the top contender for the HWF World title.  All the others, depending on how well they survived, would be placed evenly in the different lineups.  The show comes to an end with Big Show calling out for Bray Wyatt.  Wyatt comes out and stands on the stage.  The two stare daggers at each other as the camera fades to black bringing this one to an end.

After the camera quit rolling, Bray hit the ring and attacked Big Show but Show just shrugged him off.  Show tells Bray to get in the ring and give him a match but Bray says he’s not ready just yet.  Show then suggests a tag team match and tells Bray to get himself a partner.  Bray calls out Hardcore Champion the Stache who makes his way to the ring.  Show says he’s digging into his past (HWF and CSWA past that is) and bringing out someone whom he held the tag team titles with before.   Music hits and out comes Kane.  Looks like we have an impromptu match.

The Triple Crown champion starts off against Kane.  Bray hammers Kane with clubbing fists and Kane slams him.  Bray swings away with more clubbing fists and Kane slams him again.  The Stache then slides a chair into the ring and then distracts the Big Show.  Show starts chasing the Stache around the ring.  Kane slams Bray again but Bray, seeing the chair, connects with a lifting side slam on Kane right onto the chair.  He then quickly discards the chair.  The ref goes to make the count and gets to 3 before Big Show can run in for the save.  Bray Wyatt and the Stache get the win but it is short lived as Kane and Show trap the two in the ring.  Kane nails the Stache with a Chokeslam from Hell and Big Show nails the Cutting Edge on Bray.  Bray and the Stache leave quickly as Kane and Big Show celebrate with the fans sending them home happy.

That’s all we have for now.  Stay tuned.

Editor’s Note:  The characters below are all made up.  If someone is not listed below, please consider them “real”.


‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild
‘Luke Warm’ Lucas Johnston
Buzz Steel
CJ
Daas (jobber for Magnum Kone)
Dirk “the Pick” Devon
Drew, the Canadian Love Machine
Dr. Red Fang
El Chango
GM Max McGillicutty
Haagen (jobber for Magnum Kone)
Leon Teremoto
Magnum Kone
Mr. Wrestling #5
Nigerian Wraith
Phat Sol
Sonic Blade
Starbuck Steel
The Fiend
The Savior
The Stache
The Axe

Cactus Jackie
Gardenia Blue
Jupiter Jane
Ravishing Raquel
Southern Belle

Taylor Bella

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