Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter. Wrestlemania is just a week away and we are
stoked. Next week will be our 2 day fan fest
followed by a 3 day PPV extravaganza.
GM’s
Master Bull and Hulk Hogan collaborated and came up with the following poster
for the event:
In
the last issue, match results were inadvertently left off and that was the
match between the Bella Twins and ½ of the Beautiful People Angelina Love and
Madison Rayne. That match was a pretty
even match that went to a 30 minute time limit draw.
Based
on Buff Austin’s comments to the Stache calling him “Lone Ranger”, Disney, the
maker of the last film of the same name, contacted the Stache and asked if he’d
be open to a role if a sequel is determined.
The Stache seemed open to the idea but put the caveat that El Chango
would also need to be included. Disney
agreed. Now, we just have to wait and
see if a sequel is indeed created.
GM
Hulk Hogan says that after the beating ‘The Original Big Daddy’ Donnie B and
MW3 took at the hands of the Ascension, he is making the executive decision to
keep them off TV so they can heal and be 100% ready for their Tag Team title
rematch. Hogan says that #TeamJones’
constant interference in other people’s matches will be dealt with sooner
rather than later.
The
show kicks off with Bo Dallas taking on Robbie E. In 19 minutes, Dallas gets the win after
hitting the Bo-bulldog headlock and rolled E up for the 1, 2, and 3. After the match, Bo leans over Robbie E and
says “BoLieve that.” He then leaves the
ring.
In
the back The Ascension cut a promo saying that they beat DB and MW3 so bad they
may not make it to Wrestlemania. MJ says
that this is the team that all future wrestlers will emulate. “Gone are the days of the Ultimate doofus;
the immortal cripple – our GM Hulk Hogan and Flabby (Ric) Flair. THIS is the team everyone wants to be. All the women want them; all the guys wish
they could be them.” The segment then
ends.
We
head back to the ring for our next match which has #TeamJones (#ConanJ and
#CaseyJ) vs Ethan Carter III and Rockstar Spud.
Conan grabs a mic to (most likely) spout out some gibberish but Spud
dropkicks him right out of the ring. I
guess ECIII and Spud will be the fan favorites in this match. For 14 minutes, #TeamJones ruled the roost
until Conan started to get double teamed and have his ass handed to him. ECIII and Spud then took over and controlled
the action. At the 23 minute mark, in an
act of desperation, Conan dropkicks ECIII out of the ring. Ethan then got hit by a flying body press from
#CaseyJ and was taken out. He was unable
to make it back in the ring so after 23 ½ min, #TeamJones gets the win via
Countout. #ConanJ picked up the mic
again but I think it was broken as he got frustrated, threw the mic down and
stormed out. #CaseyJ followed.
Bray
Wyatt comes out and congratulates his team (#TeamJones) on their win. He then talks about how everyone hides behind
masks and makeup, but he is going to send Undertaker home; buried six feet
under.. He says he controls all of the ‘magic’ behind Undertaker, (then some
thunder and lightning begins in the arena) and he says Taker is guilty. Bray
says he will take his place as the new face of fear, and Taker is going to get
the mercy he has been begging for. Bray says he will let Taker finally rest in
peace, then taunts Taker’s kneel down pose and tells him to “Find ME!”
We
go back to the interview area with Alberto el Patron and he tells Samoa Joe he
wants his spot back and tonight, he is challenging Joe to a match.
Our
next match is ready to begin and it has The Fiend from the Miz-fits taking on
Prince Devitt. This was an excellent
match put on by both competitors. It was
about as even as you can get (58 to 60 if you’re counting points). The Fiend capitalized on a hesitation from
Devitt and locked him in the Devilock (figure four) and Prince, not paying
attention to the count, left his shoulders down one second too long. The Fiend gets the win in 9 minutes. After the match, the Band (the Axe and Dirk
‘the Pick’ Devon) hit the ring and hurl the Fiend out of the ring and kick
Devitt out. Axe says that their loss to
the Uso’s was all the fault of the Miz-fits and they promise to beat the crap
out of them at Wrestlemania. Dirk says
that they were not scheduled to be here tonight however, they want to fight. The next match, which happens to be a tag
team match will now include them. 3
teams…one victor…and it WILL be them.
Adrian
Neville & Adam Rose vs Xavier Wood & Tyson Kidd vs the Band is up
next. This one went almost a full 30
minutes with Neville and Rose beating down the Axe and Wood and Kidd beating
down on the Pick. Axe and Pick head to
the outside of the ring to take a breather and that set up the normal tag match
between the other competitors. Xavier
Wood had just nailed Neville with the Red Arrow and was going for the pin until
Axe pulled him out of the ring and bashed him into the steel steps. Dirk gets in, picks up Neville and nails the
Pearl Drum Drop. Pick gets the win just
before the bell rings. Pick and the Axe
then clear the ring and they stand tall until the Miz and the Fiend reappear on
the ramp. The two teams have a stare
down before cutting to commercial.
In
the back, Samoa Joe says he will accept Alberto’s challenge but he wants
something more out of him. He says that
if Alberto wants a spot he’s not entitled to then Joe will ask for the
same. He says that if Alberto were to
receive any singles title shot in the future and he loses tonight, that title
shot will become Joe’s. Joe says that
this is the only way tonight’s match happens.
Alberto walks over and agrees.
The two shake hands.
We
go back to the ring for our next match which has Jeff Hardy taking on the
Miz. This was another really close match
that saw both men get numerous 2 counts.
The longer the match went on, you could see it taking its toll on the
competitors. Just after the 20 minute
mark, Jeff hits Miz with a dropkick that sends him outside the ring. WAIT…someone is at ringside wearing a
hood. It’s the AXE! He grabs a chair and blasts Miz with it. He then runs off in the crowd before he could
get caught. The ref never saw it. Miz ends up getting counted out. The Fiend runs down and tries to explain but
the ref says he didn’t see it. He ends up
helping his partner to the back.
Before
we have our main event, we wanted to show you what the PPV looks like today
(baring anyone getting hurt and screwing things up). The day to day lineup is still being
finalized but here is the list of matches:
North
American Champion Alexander Rusev vs Daniel Bryan in a flag match
The
American Wolves vs. Beer Money in a Steel Cage
Six
Man Champions the Warriors vs Prestige Inc.
World
Tag Team Champions the Ascension vs Donnie B and MW3 in a rematch.
Miz-fits
vs the Band
The
Desperados vs The Jones Boys
Goldust
vs Stardust – Hell in a Cell
US
Champion Christopher Daniels vs Dean Ambrose
Undisputed
Women’s Champion Ravishing Raquel vs Southern Belle
The
Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt in a Buried Alive match for the HWF World Title
Battle
Royal – Men’s (Money in the Bank)
Battle
Royal – Women’s (Money in the Bank)
AJ
Lee vs Paige
Sonic
Blade vs Lucas Johnston
Hardcore
Champion Big Show vs Samoa Joe
IC
Champion Tyler Breeze vs Brock Lesnar
John
Cena vs Dolph Ziggler
CSWA
World Champion Kurt Angle vs AJ Styles
X-Division
Champion Kane vs Roman Reigns
Asian
Connection vs the A-Team
HWF
vs CSWA World Champion to see who gets a shot at the Undisputed Heavyweight
Title
Undisputed
Heavyweight Champion Bray Wyatt vs ???
It
is time for the Main Event: Alberto El
Patron vs. Samoa Joe. If Joe loses
tonight, he loses his shot at the Hardcore title at Wrestlemania. If Alberto loses, he will lose his spot for
the CSWA US title. GM Hulk Hogan comes
out and says that this will be a No DQ match.
Hardcore Champion Big Show comes out and goes to sit at ringside. Alberto looks put off. Joe goes to toss Alberto into the crowd but
that get nullified. Joe goes for a kick
to the chest but Alberto stops that one too.
Alberto hits a 5 kick combination and a lifting back suplex and Joe
locks in a modified camel clutch.
Alberto is definitely weakened.
Alberto struggles to his feet and Joe locks in a rear naked choke. Alberto struggles but it all futile. Finally he just taps out. Joe retains his spot at Wrestlemania. Big Show then climbs in the ring and gets
into Joe’s face. Show then holds the
belt right in front of Joe and as they continue to stare at each other, the
show comes to an end.
Just
as the cameras are starting to shut down, there is a commotion in the
back. It’s coming from #ConanJ (no
surprise there). We head to the back to
see what he’s bitching about now.
Promo
from #ConanJ (behind him is the Wrestlemania poster)
“In
other action......in other action....don’t miss live.....wtf.....every single
time i turn around....i......(I mean) we the jones' are getting the screw
job..... ass-cension.......prestige who........fat ass and slack daddy....blah
blah bablaah....who really gives a hoot.....i know...we know....all the fans who
they really want to see......yet the Chicken Shit Whiney Ass....and Homo/and
Women’s Foundation continue to force feed these LOSERS.....and we get ‘in other
action’.....i promise you...no i guarantee…the jones' will make this
Wrestlemania as epic....IF NOT MORE than when our gm hollywood what’s his nuts
did when the fix was in against the late great Giant”......(slams the mic and
tears the poster off the wall). He
storms off yelling “I’m gonna fix this.”
Thanks
for reading. I expect we’ll have one
more set of matches before Fan Fest gets here.
Stay Tuned.
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