Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
Our show starts off with whining and complaining. Randy Orton heads to the ring and complains
about not being on the biggest card of the year. He is interrupted by Mark Henry who also
heads to the ring and also complains. GM
Hulk Hogan comes out and says that there is only one slot left for a WM
match. The A-Team comes out and complains
about being part of Hogan’s CWO and they are not on the card. Hogan says that the 3 of them will compete in
matches tonight (2 in singles and one 6 man) in a “Beat the Clock”
competition. The way this works is the
person/team who gets the win in the shortest amount of time will get the final
spot at Wrestlemania against who they are fighting tonight. If they lose, they will not be considered.
The
first match on the card today will be Kalisto (1st time in singles
action) taking on Zach Ryder. Kalisto is
accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner Solomon Crowe. In only 90 seconds, Kalisto gets the win
after hitting the Hari Kari and Ryder fell out of the ring and got counted
out.
Since
Solomon Crowe was already at ringside, they just decided to do his match (also
1st singles match). Crowe is
taking on Tyson Kidd. In very dominating
fashion, Crowe gets the win in 6 minutes after connecting with a bicycle kick. Crowe and Kalisto then say that they want a
shot at the tag team titles and will work up to becoming the #1
contenders. They are putting all teams
on notice.
In
the back, the Ascension are talking smack about all the tag teams in the HWF
and CSWA calling them nothings. They are
sure to insult the Desperados, #TeamJones, and their challengers at
Wrestlemania – Donnie B and MW3. They
want a warm up match tonight and will grant that one special wish to a team in
the top 10 and they get a shot tonight.
MJ pulls a name out of a hat at it is…Sami Zayn and Roderick
Strong. Viktor tells them tonight will
only be about the pain they will inflict on anyone who tries to take their
titles away.
We
head back to the ring for women’s tag team action. (After what transpired last show, GM Hulk
Hogan said that ½ of the Beautiful People – Fusion Valentine and Southern Belle
will be taking on Cactus Jackie and Spider Violet. But not to leave the other Beautiful People
(Madison Rayne and Angelina Love) out of the picture, they will wrestle the Bella
Twins tonight.)
Fusion
Valentine & Southern Belle vs Cactus Jackie & Spider Violet is nothing
short of a street fight. Jackie and
Spider were dominating the challengers until a lucky tag from Fusion brought a
HULKED UP Belle back into the ring. She
began wailing on Jackie with lefts and rights and knocked her silly with a
vicious uppercut. Jackie then bailed out
of the ring. Spider followed and they walked away from the match resulting in a
countout. Fusion and Belle get this win via CO.
(8 ½ min)
Our
first Beat the Clock challenge is up with Randy Orton taking on Bobby
Lashley. As a reminder, Randy needs to
win this or he is out of consideration for Wrestlemania. In 9 minutes, after having his ass handed to
him, Orton is pinned after Bobby hits the Dominator. Randy loses and will not be in single
competition at Wrestlemania. He will be
able to participate in the Money in the bank battle royal though.
Our
next match is a tag team match with the Band (the Axe and Dirk ‘the Pick’
Devon) taking on the Uso’s. Before the
match could begin, the Miz-fits (the Miz and the Fiend) come out. The Band is not happy about this but the
Miz-fits remain on stage and do not approach the ring. The Uso’s capitalized on the distraction and
just dominated the Band. Finally, the Miz-fits head to the ring all the while
keeping their hands up. This just
infuriated the Axe. A very distracted
Axe turns and gets hit with the Asiatic spike.
Jey makes the cover and gets the 1-2-3.
The Uso’s get the win in 14 minutes.
The Miz-fits then leave the ring laughing at Dirk and Axe in the ring
looking all mad (was pretty funny).
Next
up is our second Beat the Clock competition with Mark Henry taking on the
Shield’s Ryback. In just 6 minutes,
Ryback catches the World’s Strongest Man in a Marching Cradle suplex and gets
the pin. Both singles teams are
out. Now, all the A-team has to do win
their match and they will go on to Wrestlemania.
#TeamJones
makes their way out and continue to talk smack and this brings out Donnie B and
MW3. MW3 tells #ConanJ that he runs his
mouth but doesn’t know how to back things up.
Donnie B asks #CaseyJ what he was thinking in teaming with this low-life
schmuck. #ConanJ invites the former
champs into the ring and they’ll show them the true meaning of an
ass-kicking. Conan refused to be in the
ring at the same time as MW3 so that delayed the start of the match. This did however allow the Ascension (Konnor
and Viktor) to sneak up behind Donnie B and knock him out with a chair. He is out cold. #ConanJ catches MW3 with a hangman DDT. Casey then pulled an unconscious MW3 out of
the ring. Viktor threw an unconscious
Donnie B into the ring. The Ascension
then left the ring. #ConanJ called for
the bell. He then locked in a guillotine
choke and the ref reluctantly raised and watched fall Donnie B’s arm 3
times. The ref then awards the match via
submission to #TeamJones. #ConanJ and
#CaseyJ celebrate in the ring. #ConanJ
takes the mic “DAT..is how its dun.”
#CaseyJ takes the mic from him and says “What he said.” #TeamJones leaves Donnie B and MW3 out
cold. Medics come out and help both DB
and MW3 back to be checked on. (60 seconds)
In
the back, Sami Zayn and Roderick Strong are being interviewed. They say that they are being given a tremendous
opportunity tonight and they will do their best to capitalize on it.
Our
final Beat the Clock challenge is next with the A-Team (Austin Aries, Antonio
Cesaro and Abyss) taking on the team of Kenta, Tajiri and Sanada. This was not a good night for the
A-Team. The Asian Connection dominated
the once 6 man tag team champs and in 14 minutes, Sanada pins Aries after
connecting with a moonsault. The Asian
connection gets the win. The A-Team
immediately attacks them and Aries hits Sanada with a German Suplex, Abyss hits
a Blackhole slam on Tajiri and Cesaro hits Kenta with cradle facebuster. The A-Team stand over their opponents and
call out GM Hulk Hogan. The A-Team says
that they still put on the best show of the night and demand Hogan put them in
a rematch against the Asian Connection at Wrestlemania. Hogan comes out and agrees with them and
makes the match official. That rounds
out our final card as of now. As always,
the card is subject to change pending injury but I think everyone will do their
best to stay as healthy as possible between now and our PPV.
It
is time for the main event. First, the
challengers Sami Zayn and Roderick Strong make their way out to the ring. They get a nice pop from the fans. MJ then comes out with mic in hand and
introduces his team. “Stand up all of you and give the proper respect to THE
team of the 21st Century…the ASCENSION!” Konnor and Viktor come out with their belts
held high. The fans are booing the heck
out of them. They swagger down to the
ring and immediately attack Zayn and Strong.
The bell finally rings. The
champs dominate the challengers and on more than one occasion, they pull up
their opponent to prolong the destruction they are ensuing. Konnor takes Zayn outside the ring and hits
the Fall of Man. In the ring, Viktor
catches Strong with a knee lift that almost takes his head off. Viktor makes the cover and gets the
1-2-3. The Ascension retain their titles
in a 28 minute one-sided match. As the
Ascension are standing in the ring getting pelted with junk in the ring, out
comes Donnie B (who is sporting a blood soaked bandage on his head) and
MW3. They attack the Ascension but the
champs destroy any offensive the challengers tried to execute. Viktor and Konnor both hit the Fall of Man on
DB and MW3 and then stand over them; titles held high as the show comes to an
end.
Thanks
for reading. Be sure to stay tuned as
things are really heating up.
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