Welcome
fans back to our newsletter. We have
just hit another milestone with this being our 350th published
newsletter. INSANE. That’s truly a lot of wrestling news. GM’s Master Bull and Hulk Hogan said they
wanted this show (coming to you live from the home of the CSWA Colorado
Springs, CO) to be “off the hook” so let’s get right on to the show.
The
show begins with GM’s Master Bull and Hulk Hogan coming out to a pop from the
crowd. Hogan talks briefly about our 350th
episode and Master Bull says that the road to Wrestlemania continues
tonight. Bull announces that, along with
the Men’s Battle Royal for a money in the bank contract match at Wrestlemania,
there will also be, as expected, a Women’s Battle Royal. Just like the Men’s version, this one too
will be for a contract at the championship at a later date. Hogan says that the show needs to get started
“BROTHER”.
Diva
Paige comes down and gets in the ring with a mic. She calls down AJ Lee who makes her way to
the ring. Paige says that she wants to
have a match at Wrestlemania with AJ that will tear the house down. “I want a match against the greatest
uncrowned Women’s Champion and that is YOU, AJ.” AJ agrees to the match. Both shake hands but as AJ turns away, Paige
goes to attack her but AJ saw it coming and hit Paige with the Black
Widow. AJ smiles, skips around the ring
and then leaves. Paige gets up rubbing
her neck and cracks a small smile and then heads to the back.
The
first match of the show is Big Show defending the Hardcore Title against Dolph
Ziggler. GM Hulk Hogan comes out and
says that this will be a “Brawl Games” rules match with one fall. Hogan then leaves as the bell rings. Ziggler takes the fight to Big Show but just
can’t take on the behemoth. John Cena
makes his way out and Dolph sees him.
Show capitalizes and hits Dolph with the knockout punch. The ref counts to 10 and awards the match to
Show. He leaves with his
championship. (15 min)
John
Cena gets in the ring and stares at Ziggler knocked out in the ring. Cena then starts to go off on Dolph until
Samoa Joe comes out. Cena is pissed he
is being interrupted. Samoa Joe says
that with Dolph’s loss tonight, he is the #1 contender for the Hardcore
title. He is issuing a challenge for
that title and his match will be at Wrestlemania. It looks like we have another match set
up. Joe goes to leave and Cena starts to
berate him for interrupting him. Joe
looks like he gives a rat-s*it. Cena
then insults Joe’s Samoan heritage and Joe turns around and heads to the
ring. Joe gets in and a chant “Joe’s
gonna kill you” begins. Joe says that
Cena can say whatever he wants about Joe himself but he does NOT insult his
heritage. Cena starts a shoving match
and then Joe catches him with a superkick.
Cena crawls to the corner with his eyes all wide. Joe says “You want to do this now? Ring the bell.”
The
bell rings and we have an impromptu match.
Joe begins to beat the snot out of John but Super Cena battles
back. After hitting 2 consecutive F-5’s,
John nails a 5 knuckle shuffle off the top rope. He goes for a pin until Dolph (he was still
on the outside of the ring) pulls John out and decks him. The bell rings and Joe has been disqualified
for outside interference. (15 min) Dolph
whips John into the ring post. Dolph
drags John back into the ring and there is a pissed off Samoan still
there. Dolph whips John to the ropes and
John hangs on. Joe then hits John with a
superkick and then clotheslines Dolph out of the ring. Joe gets a big pop from the crowd and then
leaves. Cena and Ziggler both make their
way to the back (separately, of course).
In
the interview area, Sonic Blade says he is there to issue a challenge to
‘lukewarm’ Lucas Johnston for a match at Wrestlemania. If Johnston is a man, he will accept the
challenge.
Next
up is Intercontinental Champion Tyler Breeze defending his title against Roman
Reigns. Before the match can begin,
Brock Lesnar runs down and slams Reigns into the steel steps. He then dumps Reigns back in the ring. Reigns nails a headbutt but Tyler nails an insuguri
and after that, Reigns never got another offensive move in. Breeze dominates Reigns and then mercifully
pins him after hitting an Implant DDT. Brock,
still at ringside, sarcastically yells to Breeze “You’re Welcome. I’m Next.
At Wrestlemania”. It looks like another
match is set up. (7 min)
Back
in (the safety of) his office, Master Bull makes it official that Cena and
Ziggler will meet at Wrestlemania (like we didn’t know).
Next,
we have a placement match with AJ Styles challenging Prince Devitt for his
World title placement spot. GM Hulk
Hogan comes out and says that the winner of this match will go on to
Wrestlemania to meet Kurt Angle for the CSWA World title. This had to be the best match of the night so
far. Devitt and Styles put on a HELL of
a show. AJ nailed Devitt with a dropkick
to his leg as Devitt was trying for a high risk move. Devitt then fell out of the ring. He could not put any pressure on his leg at
all and kept collapsing. The ref counted
to 10 (eventually – it was more like 30) and awarded the match to AJ
Styles. It looks like AJ trades spots
with Devitt and is going on to meet Kurt Angle for the CSWA World title. Angle comes out and says he congratulates AJ
on his win but this could be the last time AJ has his hand raised as the victor. He chuckles and walks away. (11 ½ min for the match; 20 minutes for the
segment).
Our
next match is a grudge match with The Desperados & the American Wolves vs
#TeamJones & Beer Money. GM Hulk
Hogan came out and basically told the ref to stand down. Hogan says that these 4 teams need time to
beat the living hell out of each other.
The ref left the ring and all 8 men jumped in the ring and beat the hell
out of each other. There was no tagging
in or out. It was an old fashioned
slugfest. After about 8 minutes, Hogan
sent the “shirts” down to break it up.
#TeamJones and Beer Money seemed to come out less-scathed than their
opponents but I would hardly say they “won”.
As the teams were leaving, MW3 runs in from the crowd and goes right
after #ConanJ. Conan sees him and bolts
faster than lightning. MW3 chased him to
the back.
Our
main event starts with HWF World and the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion Bray
Wyatt coming out. He says that last
show, Undertaker played his music and did his light show and it cost Bray a
shot at the Hardcore title. That’s ok,
he says. Taker wants to play mind
games. He can do that too. Bray says he is defending his title tonight
and his opponent is none other than Kevin Steen. Steen comes out and looks ready for
action. Bray reminds him that this will
be a specialty match and the rules will be “Singapore Cane rules”. The bell rings and Bray goes right after him. This was a 23 minutes ass kicking…by the
champion. Holy Cow. This was a really bad beat down. Bray blasted Kevin multiple times with the
cane. Finally, at the 23 minute mark,
Bray connects with Sister Abigail and gets the 1-2-3. Bray Wyatt has defeated Steen. As Steen leaves the ring with his head held
low, Bray gets on the mic and calls out the Undertaker. The lights go out and the eerie blue light
shines in the ring. A GONG sounds. Six hooded druids start to make their way to
the ring carrying torches. They are also
carrying a casket. Bray leans on the
ropes and then starts to sing “I’ve got the whole world…in my hands.” The druids stop at the ring. They open the casket and…it’s empty. Bray begins to laugh maniacally. He immediately kicks backwards and connects
with the UNDERTAKER. Taker was trying to
sneak up on Bray. Bray tosses Undertaker
to the ropes but after ducking and bouncing off the other side, Taker takes
Bray down with a clothesline. Bray hits
a cheap shot on Undertaker and he collapses in the ring. Bray picks him up and hits Sister
Abigail. Not once, not twice but 3
times. Bray then drags the Undertaker to
the casket and dumps him in it. He
closes and locks the lid. He then drags the
casket (it’s on wheels) to the top of the ramp.
Bray then runs and shoves the casket right off the stage where it
crashes to the floor below. HOLY CRAP
chants ring out. The camera pans down
and we see the casket, broken and open but it’s EMPTY! Bray looks shocked. He looks around all nervous as the blue light
comes back on and the GONG rings over and over.
This brings the show to an end.
(23 minute match; 30 minute segment)
Thanks
for sticking with us. I’m not sure how
these performers are going to top this as we get closer to Wrestlemania but I
have faith they will continue to amaze and astonish us. Stay tuned.
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