Hello fans and
welcome back to our newsletter. Our
talent is being given time off starting Wednesday through Friday for a long
Thanksgiving break from our gracious GM Hulk Hogan. The show begins with a blast of pyro and we
go right into our first match.
The Elitist Reid
Rothchild comes out with the Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel. Reid gets into the ring and has a mic
handy. “Finally….the Elitist Championship
is back home where it belongs. I fought
a very tough opponent in Alexander Rusev but in the end, I was able to beat him
and take my title back. I don’t plan on
losing this belt ever again.” He stops
to soak in a pop from the crowd when “Booo….Booo….Booo” echoes through the
speakers. “Champion? You’re not a champion. You are a quitter. You got lucky and that is why you have that
title now. And guess what? I want that title.” Reid chimes in. “Show yourself and come take your best shot
if you think you can.” Reid stood in the
ring waiting for whoever had spoken to come out but someone runs in from the
crowd and attacks Reid. The brawl for
only a moment until the attacker is revealed to be….Professor Cobra. Cobra drops Reid with a Cobra Strike and then
yells at Raquel to leave the ring. Cobra
says he wants a shot at Reid and if he’s man enough, the belt will be on the
line. Cobra leaves Reid in the ring and Raquel
rushes to his side but he is already recovered and seething. He just stares at Cobra as he makes his way
to the back.
The first match of
the night is Cactus Jackie taking on Fusion Valentine to determine who will get
a shot at Ravishing Raquel’s Diva’s title in London at Starcade. But first, the Southern Belle comes out and
waves to the fans and goes to sit at ringside.
She is joined almost immediately by Ravishing Raquel who questions why
she is out there. Belle says she wants
to see competitors in action and up close.
Jackie comes out first and yells at Raquel and Belle. Belle starts to frown. Fusion Valentine comes out and the match
begins. The match only goes 5
minutes. Jackie was cheating each and
every minute. Just before the 5 minute
mark, Jackie drags Fusion out of the ring and smashes her into the ringside
steps. She rolls in to beat the 10 count
and gets the win. Jackie is going on to
Starcade. She jumps out of the ring and
gets into Raquel’s face. Belle tries to
interject but gets shoved to the ground. Uh Oh!
Belle begins to HULK out (I don’t mean the Hogan kind; I mean the 7’tall
green monster kind) and explodes on Jackie.
Jackie, totally taken aback by this, freaks out and hightails it out of
there. Raquel calms Belle down and they
leave together.
In the back, Reid
meets up with Hulk Hogan. Reid says he
wants Professor Cobra in the ring tonight and is willing to put his title on
the line. Hogan makes the match
official.
Roman Reigns vs
Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon is next. Devon is
accompanied by both the Axe and Psycho Jack Hercules. The members of the band taunt Reigns from the
outside of the ring. For 6 minutes,
Reigns beat the HOLY HELL out of Dirk.
The Axe sees Dirk getting his ass handed to him so he calls for Psycho
Jack to get a chair. Jack throws a chair
in but Reigns catches in and blasts Dirk with get resulting in a DQ. He doesn’t get to use it a second time as
Jack and Axe attack Reigns and the three beat him down. The Caped Crusader drops in from the ceiling
and clears house with WAM! BAM! POW! Delivered to all the members of the
band. The three bail and leave nursing
their wounds. Reigns shakes the hand of
the Caped Crusader.
Senor Vampiro is
up next to take on Conan Jones. Jones,
smarting from his last loss, vowed to not lose 2 in a row. This one went 24 minutes and was even for the
first 10 minutes but then all of his training from Pai Mei (his former trainer
looked like the guy from Kill Bill) kicked in and he owned Conan. The end came after an exhausted Vampiro
nailed a crazy powerbomb and got the pin.
As soon as the bell rang, El Chango runs in and drops Vampiro with the
Diamond Dust. El Chango stood over his former partner with one foot on him in
mock victory.
The lights dim as
a vignette starts to play on the Omegatron.
It reads “The Greatest Staches in History…Part 1”. A montage begins to roll and shows some of
the most famous wrestlers to ever flaunt the stache –, Rick Rude, Dutch Mantel,
Magnum TA, Jesse Ventura, Col. DeBeers, Ox Baker, Rick Steiner, Big Bully
Busiek, Superstar Billy Graham, Blackjack Mulligan, Blackjack Lanza and Jesse ‘the
body’ Ventura. The montage slows down
and then shows 3 of the best known champions in all of wrestling history with
staches: The Iron Shiek, ‘Big Poppa Pump’
Scott Steiner and finally, our GM, the Immortal Hulk Hogan. The vignette ends with “World class Champions
– with world class staches. Even their
staches were considered champions.” The
screen goes blank and then just says…”The Stache”.
We head back to
the ring for more action. Next up is
Curtis Axel taking on Daniel Bryan. This
one goes 8 minutes and victory goes to Daniel Bryan who rolled up Axel after
dropping him with a forearm smash. Axel
wasn’t happy that the match ended so soon but Bryan said that he likes what he
sees in Axel and tells him he has a plan that could net individual
championships for each of them. Curtis
seems interested and he follows Bryan to the back.
Hulk Hogan is in
the back watching the Stache video. Hogan
tells Rocky Lapetus to make sure he gets a copy and wipes a tear from his
eye. “Greatest stache brother” Hogan
says as he brushes it with his hand.
We are back in the
ring for our next match which is Heath Slater taking on Zack Ryder. A very close match for 13 minutes but then
Slater turns on the steam. A Flying
forearm and a reach-back neckbreaker brought Ryder’s offensive to a screeching
halt. Slater nails a jumping Russian leg
sweep and rolls Ryder up for the 1-2-3.
Heath Slater has just gotten himself a very rare win. (16 min).
In the back, Hogan
is looking pissed. Droopy Balls
McShonnessay is presenting Hogan with a doctor’s note that will keep him out of
the ring tonight. Hogan says “You know,
brother, this is only going to piss Brock off even more.” Droopy Balls, if he wasn’t scared before,
this level of fear just jumped 10 fold.
McShonnessay bolts out of the office and right out of the arena.
The Elitist
Champion Reid Rothchild heads to the ring and waits on Professor Cobra. Reid totally underestimated Cobra who baffled
the champion with a flurry of moves.
Cobra and Reid are fighting on the outside of the ring and Cobra just
turned up the heat. Cobra slams Reid
into the steel steps, the ringpost busting him open and puts him through a
table. Raquel runs down and is totally
freaking out for her husband. Cobra
drags the lifeless body of Reid into the ring and then Raquel….throws a towel
in the ring. WHAT THE? Did she just
throw the towel in for her husband? A
very confused ref calls for the bell.
Hulk Hogan comes out and says that this is unprecedented. This rule has not been in force…ever that he
can recall. Hogan says that although
Reid was in no shape to continue, Cobra didn’t exactly get the win so Hulk is
holding up the title and Reid and Professor Cobra will battle it out for the
title at Starcade. Cobra didn’t look
happy but he left the ring anyway.
We just learned
that the Greatest Staches in History vignette is the #1 thing trending on
Twitter right now.
We go to the ring
for our main event. The Caped Crusader
is getting a title shot against World Champion Kurt Angle. This was a relatively short match that saw
Kurt nail a big boot and get the pin at the 6 minute mark. After the match, Alexander Rusev runs down
and attacks Kurt. He pounds and smashes
the champ and then locks him in the Accolade.
Rusev finally lets up and stands over Kurt as the show comes to an end.
Stay tuned fans as
we are well on the road to Starcade.
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