Hello fans. Our show today begins not inside but
outside. Droopy Balls McShonnessey is
sitting outside the arena with a tin cup and a sign that reads “I need money so
I can get into an HWF/CSWA show.” Brock
Lesnar heads in and sees him and for whatever reason, feels pity. He laughs and then goes to see GM Hulk Hogan. Brock asks that Droopy Balls be admitted in
but with a caveat. Brock says he had so
much fun beating the tar out of him that he wants someone to beat up night
after night until he gets John Cena at Starcade. He promises that Droopy will never get a
win. Hogan likes the idea of a punching
bag for Brock and sends for security to bring Droopy Balls in.
Our first match of
the night is the Fiend taking on the Miz.
Miz came out but said that tonight wasn’t the night he’d fight the
Fiend. He says he’s not backing out of
his match but really wants to see what else the Fiend can really do so he says
that Fiend’s opponent for tonight would be this man. Music hits and out comes Conan
Jones. Miz seems to have “bought” an
opponent for the Fiend tonight. Miz goes
to sit at ringside. The Fiend makes his
way to the ring. The Fiend put on a great showing but Conan did not. It took only 8 minutes for the Fiend to nail
Conan Jones with the Last Caress (swinging DDT) and got the cover in the middle
of the ring. After the match, the Miz
got in the ring and had words with the Fiend but both split without
altercation.
We head to the
back where Brad Maddox is talking smack about GM Hulk Hogan. “Damn, did you see that pathetic match? I could book a whole lot better than the old,
wrinkly piece of nasty leather that is our GM.”
Little did he notice that Hogan was standing right behind him. :”You
know, Brother, you think you can book a
show better than me? How about this…You
go to the ring for a match. If you lose,
you’re out of here…brother.” Hogan then
walked away. Maddox looked worried.
Brad Maddox made
his way to the ring to await his opponent.
He paced nervously as time dragged on.
Music hits and out comes John Cena.
This one was an 11 minute ass-whupping.
Cena totally dominated the match (really, did you think otherwise) and
just as the clock clicked on the 11 minute mark, Cena drops Maddox with the F-U
and gets the 1-2-3. Brad Maddox is out
of a job.
A vignette runs
for “Where in the world is the Undertaker?” and this time, the camera crew ends
up in Death Valley. The team, led by
roving reporter Clarkus Kentus (we haven’t seen him in a while) walks up to a
person wearing a hood. “Excuse me but do
you know if the Undertaker is here?” Clarkus asks. The hooded figure turns and says “Do not seek
the treasure…er…I mean…Do not seek the Undertaker. He has changed and it may not be for the
better. Leave this place or you will
burn.” Clarkus was genuinely scared and
he and his crew bolted as fast as their legs would carry them. Clarkus mutters to the camera man “That man
sounded a lot like a toad.”
Back in the ring
and we are treated to a visit from Diva’s Champion Ravishing Raquel. Raquel has brought someone with her. “Fans of the HWF and CSWA: I wanted to introduce to you my good
friend. Her name is ‘The Southern Belle’
and she will become a part of the growing women’s roster we have here. Belle, did you want to say a few words?” Belle takes the mic. “Hello HWF and CSWA. As Raquel has stated, my name is the Southern
Belle and I am training to step in the ring with these fabulous
performers. This is a life-long dream of
mine and I want to thank Ravishing Raquel for getting me in the door and for GM
Hulk Hogan for giving me an opportunity.
I’m not going to demand a title shot right off the bat as I do need to
prepare. I’m being trained by some of
the best in the business and next year, in 2015, I will make my in-ring
debut.” The ref walked over after pointing
to his watch and tried to take the mic from Belle. BIG MISTAKE.
(what transpires next is a combination of Glenn Close’s character from
Fatal attraction, any of the ghosts/ghouls from Poltergeist and the one from
Raiders of the Lost Ark). Belle exploded
on the ref. “DON’T YOU TAKE THIS AWAY
FROM ME. THIS IS MY TIME. BACK THE F**K OFF.” Fortunately, the production people were able
to bleep her out. Raquel got Belle to
calm down and they left together.
Xavier Woods vs
Tyson Kidd was up next. This one went 17
minutes and came to an end after Woods nailed Kidd with a front dropkick.
Next up is Roman
Reigns taking on Kazarian. This one didn’t
go very long either and even though Kaz fought back, it was pretty
one-sided. Reigns ends up getting the
pin after nailing a spear at the 9 minute mark.
Another vignette
runs and it starts off with a man standing on a dirt road. The guy is walking towards the camera. He is wearing cowboy boots with spurs. He continues to approach the camera but stops
after taking a few steps. The camera
pans out and only sees a silhouette of the man known as The Stache. His face is dark but a beam of sunlight
creeps in and illuminates only his Stache.
He then draws and shoots the camera ending the segment. “Be Prepared – 2015”.
Next, we have a
match for the Intercontinental title held by Dolph Ziggler and he is defending
the title against David Otunga. This one
looked promising as Otunga was on the offensive for the first 12 minutes of the
match but after eating a Zig Zag from Ziggler, the tide changed. The champ then went on the offensive and
after another 6 minutes, nails Otunga with flying dropkicks and picks up another
win. (18 min)
Jay Lethal comes
out next and offers an open challenge to any wrestler in the back. Out comes Jeff Hardy to take him up on his
match. Hardy controlled the entire match
and after Lethal had bailed to the floor, Hardy nails him with a suicide dive
and then rolls him back in and gets the win.
(10 min)
In the back, Kurt
Angle tells Hogan he wants Alexander Rusev back in the ring. Hogan tells Angle
if he wants this match, he needs to put his title on the line. Angle agrees.
Brock Lesnar makes
his way out for his match. “Let’s go
Droopy Balls…I don’t have all day.”
Droopy Balls McShonnessay makes his way out but tries to run away but
the security accompanying him to the ring won’t allow it. Droopy Balls went on the offensive and went
toe to toe with Lesnar. Brock was
shocked. Brock would beat him down but
he’d pop right back up. Brock tosses him
out of the ring and then nails an F-5 on to the Spanish announce table. Brock rolls back in just before the 10
count. Brock gets the win via CO (12 ½ min).
Our main event of
the evening is for the CSWA World title.
The Bulgarian Alexander Rusev (who now seems to be wearing Russia’s
colors) comes out first. He is followed
by the World Champion and former Olympic hero.
This was a short match that saw Rusev nail the Accolade and (hooking the
tights and feet on the ropes) gets the pin. However, before the ref can say
anything, the Caped Crusader repels down from the rafters. He tells the ref about what transpired. He was ready to reverse the decision when
Angle just asked for the match to continue.
The ref agreed and 2 minutes later and a big foot to the face, Kurt
rolls Rusev up for the 1-2-3. Kurt gets
the win and retains his title. He leaves
and Caped Crusader is about to leave also when he is attacked by Rusev. Rusev brutalizes CC and then drops a knee to
the windpipe of CC. Medics come out to
check on him as Rusev stands and gloats in the ring.
That is all for
now. Stay tuned for more action.
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