HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #839 (4/17/20) – Critical Mass PPV Day 1

Hello fans and welcome to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter.  We are coming to you live from a sold out arena in Tacoma, WA.  The fans are packed in like sardines and this place is going crazy.  The spotlights flash across the crowd and everyone is pumped for Day 1 of our Critical Mass Pay Per View.

We cut to commentary with J9 and Dash ‘Smooooooth’ Woodbrick.

J9:  HCW is back and in a huge way.  Tonight, we bring you day 1 of Critical Mass.  Dash, you have to be excited.

Dash:  Sure I’m excited.  I’m excited to see these moronic fans go home crying to their mommies when their favorites lose.  Ha Ha.

J9:  Dash, give me a break.  On the card tonight, Taylor and her Bella sisters Brie and Nikki take on the small but powerful Hayley Hailstone and the Cummings Twins – Felicia and  Betsy.

Dash:  Hayley gets a raw deal from the fans.  They should recognize talent when it’s staring them in the face.

J9:  Taylor Bella is not only a former Ladies Champion but she was also a Diva’s Champion; much like her sisters were in that big conglomerate out of CT. (reference to the WWE)

Dash:  Key word being former.  Hayley has this one in the bag.

J9:  Also on the card, the Regulators (Mule and Mammoth) take on Shawn ‘Abs of Stone’ Austin and Perfect Pecs Stoddard.  The Six Man champs Maximillian Redbeard, Superquake Ferguson and Killa Pops take on the 5^th Column with the titles on the line.  Then, the following matches all take place in a Hell in a Cell:  Madman Mason takes on Jack Lawson; the Hardcore title is defending in a triple threat match with Dr. Red Fang taking on Scooter J and TNT and finally, US Champion Rad Gumbo takes on Apollo Gyze with that title also on the line.

Dash:  Need to take a breath there?  Listen, dummy it down for these morons ok?  Mason, and Apollo will rule to roost, mark my words.

J9:  What about the Fang/Scooter J/ TNT match? 

Dash:  We’ll see.

Pyro goes off and our show begins.  First, the team of Perfect Pecs Stoddard and Shawn ‘Abs of Stone’ Austin come out first to massive booing from the fans.  They of course respond in kind (some actions were NSFW).  Once in the ring, they continued jaw jacking with the fans.  Then the Regulators came out and the fans were just happy to not have to boo someone else.  Mammoth and Mule head down to the ring and climb in.  The bell rings and this one is off.  The Regulators controlled the pace of the match for the first 4 minutes.  Pecs then began trying to mount an offense and tried to spear Mammoth in the corner but the Regulator moved and Pecs hit the steel post hard and fell out of the ring.  He was a non-factor for the next 10 minutes.  At the 15 minute mark, Pecs is back up on the ring apron but he looks messed up.  Austin made the decision to stay in the ring himself.  The Regulators tagged in and out frequently keeping themselves fresh.  Pecs entered the ring only twice in the rest of the match.  One was part of a double team and the other was to make a save from a pin attempt.  At the 27 minute mark, an exhausted Austin can barely stand on his feet.  Mule is tagged in and he hits an elbow smash on the top of Austin’s head.  Austin falls to the mat.   Mule makes the tag and this time, he gets the 1-2-3.  The Regulators get the win.  After they had their arms raised, they left to go to the back.  Pecs went and helped Austin to his feet and helped his partner to the back.  (27 min)

Larry Morton is backstage with Taylor, Brie and Nikki Bella.  Larry asks Taylor her thoughts on her final match in HCW and about the Hall of Fame induction.  “You know Larry, my sisters were the best at what they did up in the northeast but in the HWF/CSWA/HCW, I was a multi-time champion.  I think my final match in wrestling is fitting standing beside my sisters, great champions in their own right but also had a very successful TV series (Total Bellas).  Hayley, you and those fake bimbos will feel the power of champions as we hand you another loss in your short career.”

Dash:  Big words from someone who’s almost out the door.  And look, she even needs to bring her someone else to help her fight her battles.

J9:  Dash, give me a break.  That match is up next.

As our second match is ready to get underway, Hayley Hailstone and her manager Matt Preacher come out first and then are accompanied by the Cummings Twins – Betsy and Felicia.  The trio all make their way down to the ring but Preacher is turned away and sent to the back.  Next, the music changes and the fans pop as Taylor, Brie and Nikki Bella all make their way out.  The fans pop huge as the trio make their way down to the ring.  They all enter and each climbs a turnbuckle of their own getting the crowd psyched up for this match.  The bell rings and Hayley and Taylor square off.  The match was a lot closer than anyone expected.  8 minutes in, Taylor gets injured after Hayley put her through the Spanish announce table and that kept her out of the action.   Her sisters kept the fight going until she could return.  When she did, she totally opened a can of whoop-ass on Hayley.  35 minutes in,  Taylor face plants Hayley in the ring but then Hayley hits the ‘What the Hail’ but took way too long to go for the pin (she was showboating).  When she finally made the cover, Taylor kicked out at 2 and Hayley seemed so shocked.   We join the match at the 39 minute mark.

===== In the 39th minute of the match: =====.

Taylor Bella  (f) executes a SITOUT FACEBUSTER....

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a OLD SCHOOL EXPULSION SLAM....

Taylor Bella  (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Felicia Cummings (f) makes the save!!!!!

===== In the 40th minute of the match: =====

Taylor Bella  (f) executes a HURRICANRANA....

Hayley Hailstone (f) attempts to defend against HURRICANRANA but is unsuccessful.

Hayley Hailstone (f) scores 2 points.

Taylor Bella  (f) tags out to Brie Bella (f)

===== In the 41st minute of the match: =====

Everyone in the ring for one round!!!

Taylor Bella  (f) is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Taylor Bella  (f) executes a ROLLING LEGLOCK....

Nikki Bella (f) is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Nikki Bella (f) executes a FRONT FACELOCK....

Brie Bella (f) is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Brie Bella (f) executes a RUNNING KNEELIFT....

Hayley Hailstone (f) is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a LIFTING REVERSE S.T.O.....

Betsy Cummings (f) is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Betsy Cummings (f) executes a SUNSET FLIP ....

Felicia Cummings (f) is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Felicia Cummings (f) executes a LEAPING SNAPMARE....

Double teaming ends.

===== In the 42nd minute of the match: =====

Brie Bella (f),  Nikki Bella (f) double teaming for 1 rounds.

Brie Bella (f) executes a SUNSET FLIP ....

Nikki Bella (f) is a offensive (OC) double teamer.

Nikki Bella (f) executes a ILLEGAL SWITCH ROLLUP....

Hayley Hailstone (f) absorbs the punishment.

Double teaming ends.

===== In the 43rd minute of the match: =====

Hayley rushes to the other side of the ring and delivers forearm shots to Taylor and Nikki before returning to the center of the ring.

Hayley Hailstone (f) executes a WHAT THE HAIL?....

Brie Bella (f) attempts to defend against WHAT THE HAIL? but is unsuccessful.

Hayley Hailstone (f) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Brie Bella (f) was pinned by Hayley Hailstone (f)!!!

Hayley Hailstone (f) wins with a WHAT THE HAIL? over Brie Bella (f)!!!

Hayley and the Cummings twins steal the win.  Hayley begins to laugh but then Taylor and her sisters hit the ring and hit all three ladies with consecutive Sitout Facebusters.  Felicia, Betsy and Hayley all rolled out of the ring and made their way to the back.  Taylor and her sisters interacted with the fans briefly before heading to the back.  Once at the top of the ramp, she turned around one last time to wave to the fans.  They started a “Thank you Taylor clap, clap…clap…clap, clap, clap” chant and she and her sisters gave one final wave to the audience and then turned and went backstage.  (43 min)

J9: What a disappointment losing your last match.

Dash:  Hey, she made her bed and now she has to lay in it.

J9:  Dash, what does that even mean?  Once day, your mouth is going to get you in some serious trouble.

Dash:  Hrmp!

We head backstage and are with the Six Man Tag Team Champions.  Clarkus Kentus gives the mic to Killa Pops.  “The champs are in da house.  Tonight, me and my homies take the fight to the 5^th Column.  The power of Maximillian, the cunning of Pops and the sheer might of Superquake will be more than they can handle.”  Clarkus then asks him about his upcoming match against World Champion and King, the Wicked Prophet.  “Listen, that chump nugget thinks he’s da sh!t.  Well, he ain’t.  Once we are done with the Column, Prophet, YOU’RE NEXT!”  The champs leave.

Dash:  You know, Pops is going to bite off too much and the King will show him who the boss around here is.

J9:  Killa Pops will be in for the fight of his career taking on the King; that is for sure.

Dash:  He’s cutting a check his mouth can’t cash.

Our next match is ready to go.  The 5^th Column (Baron von Blood, Karl Braun, and ‘the Iron Cross’ Oswald Zimmerman.  They are booed heavily as they head to the ring.  They grab signs from the fans and tear them up.  They get in the ring and continue to jaw jack with the fans until the music changes and then out comes the Six Man Tag Team Champions.   Maximilian Redbeard, Killa Pops and Superquake Ferguson make their way to the stage.  They hold their titles high and the fans pop huge for them.  They make their way down to the ring and Maximillian and Superquake step over the top rope.  Killa, a little shorter, enters through the ropes.  They hold the titles high again before handing them to the ref.  They prepare for the match.  Killa starts against Baron.   After a rough start, the champs totally dominated their opponents.  Superquake limited his time in the ring assisting with double and triple teams.  Pops and Maximillian took turns kicking their opponents all over the ring.   Pops locked in a wrenching headlock before tagging Redbeard back in.  Redbeard hits Oswald with the Asgard body slam.  He makes the cover and he gets the uncontested 1-2-3.  The champs get the win and retain the titles.  The fans pop for them.  They stay and interact with the fans while the Column makes their way to the back, defeated.  (8 min)

GM Master Bull comes out and thanks the fans for attending.  They are half the way through tonight’s show and we have 3 Hell in the Cell matches to follow.  Bull tells us that for the first match, Jack Lawson has agreed to put his career on the line against Mason.  If he loses, he will leave HCW.  Next, with the Hardcore title on the line, Dr. Red Fang and his feud with Scooter J (and TNT) comes to an end.  Tonight, someone walks out the champion and the others risk being broken.  Finally, the annoying gnat known as Apollo Gyze and the US champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo square off with pain, suffering and the US title all hang in the balance.  Bull looks to the ring and sees it’s almost complete.  He then signs off with the fans and reminds them that 2 more awesome days of matches follow tonight.  Bull leaves.  The fans hunger for more.

J9:  What a stirring speech from one of our commanders in chief.

Dash:  I say he still needs to be fired for making people work in unsafe environments. 

J9:  Dash, you really are uncouth.

Dash:  What?

The bell rings signaling the start of our next match.  The Hell in a Cell has been lowered and we are underway.  First, Jack Lawson comes out to a pop from the crowd.  He makes his way down and into the Cell. 

Dash:  That guy Jack, he lost his anger.  Tonight, a Madman shows him what he lost.

J9:  Very profound.  Maybe there’s hope for you yet.

Dash:  Don’t count on it.

Next, the music changes and out comes Madman Mason.  He is booed heavily and he really is creepy looking.  He slowly makes his way down to the ring and enters the Cell.  Mason immediately attacks Jack and this one gets underway.

Dash:  Jack has everything to lose in this one. 

J9:  When did you start caring?

Dash:  I don’t.  However it will free up the wait time at the snack table.

J9:  Dash, give me a break.

The match gets underway but it didn’t take long for Mason to use the cage as a weapon and raked Jack’s face against it letting the blood flow.   Jack then climbed as high as he could in the cage and leapt hitting Mason with a clothesline.  Mason gets enraged and hits a top rope hi-cross body onto his opponent and into the cage.  Jack rolls out of the ring, gets enraged himself, grabs a weapon from under the ring and uses it on Mason blooding him up.   Mason grabs the weapon from Jack and uses it on him.  Jack goes for a face rake but Mason reverses it hitting a back suplex.  He goes for the pin but Jack kicks out at 2.   We join the match at the 13 minute mark.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled OC.

Jack Lawson rolled OC.

Madman Mason executes a NA....

Jack Lawson executes a HIT WITH HIDDEN WEAPON UNDER RING -- DRAW BLOOD....

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled OC.

Jack Lawson rolled OC.

Madman Mason executes a PSYCHOTIC BREAK....

Jack Lawson executes a SHOVE DOWN....

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled DC

Jack Lawson rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Madman Mason rolled DC

Jack Lawson rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Madman Mason rolled DC

Jack Lawson rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Madman Mason rolled DC

Jack Lawson rolled OC.

Jack Lawson executes a SHOVE DOWN....

Madman Mason absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Madman Mason rolled DC

Jack Lawson rolled OC.

Jack Lawson executes a SLAM FROM TOP ROPE....

Madman Mason absorbs the punishment.

Jack Lawson is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Madman Mason was pinned by Jack Lawson!!!

Jack Lawson wins with a SLAM FROM TOP ROPE over Madman Mason!!!

Jack Lawson gets the win over Madman Mason and his job is safe.  Jack asks for a mic.  He tells Mason that this is over between them.  He begins to walk away but then Mason attacks him again.  The two begin fighting again and it spills out of the ring.  Jack chases Mason to the top of the cell (15’ off the ground).  The two begin fighting and the Mason hits Jack with a low blow and then hits him with the Psychotic Break.  The ceiling of the cage gives way and Jack falls back down to the mat.  HOLY SH!T chants scream from the crowd.  Medics are on the scene immediately and get Jack on a stretcher and out the door.  Jack may have won the match but Mason clearly has won the war.  Crew come out and clean the ring.

J9:  DAMN!  Mason wasn’t backing down and now, Lawson’s future is in jeopardy.

Dash:  Well, I guess that line at the buffet is one person shorter now.  HAHA.

We head backstage with Scooter J and TNT.  I don’t have a whole lot to say.  I just want you fans to see one last thing before TNT and I utterly destroy the man, the myth…Dr. Red Fang.  He points to a monitor and a video plays.

Exterior of a hospital with the cheesy soap opera music. It fades out and comes in to a busy Emergency room.  Patients are everywhere.  The double doors slide open and in walks Handsome young Dr. Fang.  His bruised face looks more Roguish now.  A nurse sees him, "Doctor, you shouldn't be here, " Dr. Fang says to her, " I'm needed now, more than ever. People these days need more than Vampire Lunges." He dons a mask. "They need hope and people like us", he continues.  Several wrestlers in ill-fitting hospital clothes can be seen playing orderlies. Roguish young Dr. Fang turns to the camera. "They need our help. You, the fans can do your part to help stop the spread of this virus." The image freezes and is placed in a box. A voice comes over this, it is the announcer from Starship Troopers. "Help stop the virus,  Do you want to know more?"

We cut back to Scooter J who is laughing.  “Stop the Virus…get it….no, well, Fang, you are the virus and tonight, we are the antidote.”  The two walk off.

We cut back to the announcers’ booth.

J9:  I still don’t understand what Scooter J and TNT have against Dr. Red Fang.

Dash:  You and these moronic fans don’t need to know.  Just sit back and watch the carnage.

First, the music hits and out comes Scooter J and TNT.  They are booed as they walk towards the hellacious structure (the roof was fixed during the break).  They ignore the fans as they talk through strategy on how they are going to take out Dr. Red Fang.  They climb into the Hell in a Cell and continue to talk but then are interrupted by a blaring “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYONE” and out comes the Hardcore Champion Dr. Red Fang.  He is accompanied by his manager the Ambassador who walks with him down to ringside.  Scooter J and TNT pace in the ring.  The Ambassador goes to sit at commentary with J9 and Dash. 

The match is about as violent as expected.  All 3 men used the cell to their advantages but it was surprisingly TNT who dominated the match.   At one point, the action escalated outside of the cell and took it to the top of the cage.  Scooter J tried to get away from Fang and began scaling down the cage but Fang knocked him off and he fell (only about 5 feet).  TNT went out and helped Scooter J back into the ring but then went for a pin.  Scooter J kicked out.  He looked shocked at TNT who just shrugged his shoulders.  Fang re-entered the ring and the action continued.  Fang goes right after Scooter J and hit a Vampire Lunge against SJ that broke the wall.  HOLY SH!T chants broke out.  Fang turns his attention back to TNT.  We join the match at the 17 minute mark.

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) executes a POWERBOMB....

Dr. Red Fang absorbs the punishment.

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Dr. Red Fang kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang executes a SKULL CRUSHER....

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) reverses SKULL CRUSHER!

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) executes a PRESS AND LIFT BODYSLAM....

Dr. Red Fang attempts to defend against PRESS AND LIFT BODYSLAM but is unsuccessful.

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) is attempting a pin!!!

1...

Dr. Red Fang kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang executes a SPIDER WEB LEGLOCK....

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 20th minute of the match: =====

Dr. Red Fang executes a RAKE EYES ALONG STEEL MESH - BLIND....

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) executes a TNT....

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Dr. Red Fang was pinned by TNT (Templeton N. Townsend)!!!

TNT (Templeton N. Townsend) wins with a TNT over Dr. Red Fang!!!

J9:  HOLY COW!  TNT just defeated Dr. Red Fang to become the NEW Hardcore Champion.

Dash:  Well, Scooter J may have something to say about that.

J9:  They worked as a team but Scooter J was indisposed.

Dash:  Yeah, about that, where was he when Fang speared him through the cage wall?

J9:  Apparently biding his time.

Dash gets up and heads to the back.

TNT is handed the title and he celebrates.  Fang leaves with the Ambassador.  TNT goes to check on Scooter J and then helps him to the back.

Dash is backstage with Apollo Gyze.  “Apollo, tonight, you get your hands on that New Orleans reject ‘Rag Blumbo’”. Apollo shakes his head “This Chump cost me money, titles and more.  Tonight, I take it out of his hide and I take that US title.   Once everything is said and done…he will apologize…to ME.”

Larry Morton is with the US Champion ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo.  “Apollo, he’s got himself a big mouth.  I will take great pleasure in shutting it once and for all.  Gumbo, you screwed with the wrong Cajun and tonight, we end this.  Tonight, I embarrass you in front of millions.  Tonight, mon ami, bitch, you’re mine!”

J9:  Dash, this is one for the record books.  Rad Gumbo vs Apollo.  It’ll be a slobber knocker.

Dash:  Where do you come up with those words?  I think I know how it’s going to play out and it WON’T be in favor of the champion.

J9:  DASH!  What do you know?!??

Dash:  These lips are sealed.

Apollo Gyze comes out first with his intro blaring through the speakers “APOLLO GYZE DON’T APOLOGIZE!” and he makes his way down to the cell.  He walks around it and the fans boo.  He flips them off and then enters.   Once in the cell, the music changes and we hear “GUMBO 7:30 MEANS ITS SUPPA TIME, B!TCH” and out comes the Ragin Cajun Rad Gumbo.   The fans pop for him as he and his manager Ms. Alexandria make their way down to the ring.  Apollo motions for Rad to get in the ring and ‘bring it’.  Gumbo obliges.  Rad enters only to be ambushed by Apollo.  The bell rings.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Apollo Gyze rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze executes a GORILLA PRESS DROP MOONSAULT....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against GORILLA PRESS DROP MOONSAULT but is unsuccessful.

Apollo Gyze is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is enraged and ready to use the cage as a weapon!

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo drags Apollo to the top of the cage and executes a SLAM OPPONENT THROUGH TOP OF CAGE....

Apollo Gyze absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...

Apollo Gyze kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Apollo Gyze neutralizes BURBON STREET BLUES.

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo drags Apollo to the top of the cage and executes a SLAM OPPONENT THROUGH TOP OF CAGE....

Apollo Gyze attempts to defend against SLAM OPPONENT THROUGH TOP OF CAGE but is unsuccessful.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...

Apollo Gyze kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Apollo Gyze executes a SPIN-OUT POWERBOMB....

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Apollo Gyze attempts to defend against BURBON STREET BLUES but is unsuccessful.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...

Apollo Gyze kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is enraged and ready to use the cage as a weapon!

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a RAM HEAD INTO CAGE....

Apollo Gyze executes a JUMPING CLOTHESLINE....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Apollo Gyze kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Apollo Gyze is enraged and ready to use the cage as a weapon!

Apollo Gyze executes a HIT WITH HIDDEN WEAPON UNDER RING -- DRAW BLOOD....

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Apollo Gyze rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

Apollo Gyze executes a SUICIDE DIVE TO FLOOR....

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Apollo Gyze rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze is enraged and ready to use the cage as a weapon!

Apollo Gyze executes a HIT WITH HIDDEN WEAPON UNDER RING -- DRAW BLOOD....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

Apollo Gyze absorbs the punishment.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

Apollo Gyze kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Apollo Gyze rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo slips on some brass knuckles and executes a WHERE Y'AT?  (QUICK JABS)....

Apollo Gyze attempts to defend against WHERE Y'AT?  (QUICK JABS) but is unsuccessful.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Apollo Gyze was pinned by "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo wins with a WHERE Y'AT?  (QUICK JABS) over Apollo Gyze!!!

Rad Gumbo gets the win and is handed the US title back.  He holds it high standing over Apollo Gyze.  The cell is raised and Gumbo climbs the turnbuckle holding his title in the air.  Apollo rolls out of the ring and sulks to the back. 

Dash:  Well….That didn’t go as I expected.

J9: The best man won.  That’s what matters.

Dash:  Oh, I wouldn’t go that far.

J9:  And with the end of this match, Day 1 of the Critical Mass PPV comes to an end.  We will see you all back here tomorrow.

Stay Tuned.  Day 2 is coming!

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #838 (4/15/20) – Fanfest and Hall of Fame ceremony

Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter.  Tonight, we recap the fanfest that took place earlier in the day followed by the ceremony honoring tonight’s HOF inductees.

At the fanfest, the wrestlers were also joined by GM’s Master Bull and Max McGillicutty as well as J9 and Dash ‘Smooooooth’ Woodbrick.  All staff had nice turnouts at their autograph signings including Dash, Dr. Red Fang and Apollo Gyze.  The most interesting was Dash Woodbrick.  When someone would approach him for an autograph, he would only do so if they would sign his petition to get GM Master Bull fired.  As the day wore on, and Dash wasn’t accumulating the signatures he wanted, he started to make up other reasons for doing the petition that included “Free drinks at shows”.  Until the fans caught on to what Dash was doing, he started to accumulate a LOT of signatures (of course under false pretenses) but eventually one smart fan saw what he was doing and shut it down.  It remains to be seen if Dash got the amount of signatures needed.

Also stirring up trouble at the fanfest was Tommy Lighting.  At one point, he actually attacked the Anytime / Anywhere champion the Masked Banana.  The 24/7 rule is not in effect so he can’t win the belt.  He then challenged the Masked Banana to an actual match at the PPV and not the ‘backstage crap”.  The Masked Banana accepted.

After a couple of hours break, fans and performers funneled into the auditorium for the Hall of Fame presentation.  First, GM Max McGillicutty came out on the stage and thanked the fans and performers for coming here tonight to honor tonight’s inductees.  He then had a video play showcasing each inductees best moments in HCW.  When it came time to run Magnum Kone’s video, they of course highlighted the now infamous “Showdown at Fry’s Electronics” between the King of Cones and the Ragin Cajun Rad Gumbo.  After all the videos aired, Max introduces tonight’s first inductee.

Music hits and out comes ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo.  Gumbo gets on the mic and recants the story about his feud with a man he’s honored to induct tonight.  Gumbo says that being King, a former World Champion and a current US Champion are nothing compared to the amount of fun he had performing skits with this guy.  Gumbo then introduces ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone.  Magnum comes out to a standing ovation from the crowd.  The two men shake hands and embrace.  Gumbo presents Magnum with his ring.  Gumbo steps aside.  Magnum moves up to the mic.  “When I was young, my brother and I would dress as ice cream vendors and would wrestle.  We even made up our own titles.  Coming to HCW has been a dream come true.  I got some high profile feuds including with this guy (he points to Rad) and a couple of titles along the way.  I feel that I accomplished so much in the sport that there wasn’t much more left.  Even when I had my “mental break” and became the despised ‘Covfefe’, it was all fun and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I want to thank HCW for giving me a chance to shine.  To my family and friends who supported me and to all the backstage talent – yes, I see you out there Pete (Pete Punsher the PUN-isher) I appreciate your support.  Finally, to the fans of HCW, you booed me or cheered me on which is what any performer could ever ask for.  For that, I say one final ‘Thank You.”  Magnum stepped away from the podium and nodded to the audience one last time before making his way to the back.

Master Bull comes out next.  “Tonight, we honor a man’s legacy; what he brought to the ring was nothing short of a 10 on the ‘giving it your all meter’.  Tonight, a man whose career started as part of ‘the Band’, he went on to win the most prestigious belt in HCW – the World Championship.  Helping me induct him into the 2020 Hall of Fame are his former bandmates Dirk ‘the Pick’ Devon and Rocky Lapetus.” (aka Wam Bam Arsonist).  Rocky and Dirk came out to the stage.  Rocky started.  “The man known as the Axe has been a teammate and a friend.”  Dirk spoke next “He was a bandmate, tag team partner and the biggest, most agile man to step foot in a ring.  Tonight, we honor…the Axe.”  Axe comes out and embraces Dirk, Rocky and Master Bull.  Master Bull presents the Axe with his ring.  Axe begins “A lifetime of work…how do you sum it up in only a few words?  You can’t.  A man’s legacy is what he leaves behind.  I’m a former tag team champion as well as World Champion.  The people you fight and the battles you overcome are what makes you YOU.  Even my last opponent, Jack Lumber, I think the Axe is in good hands as you take HCW into the future.  Everyone I feuded with; every cheer or boo I ever got, that is what makes us want to do this day in and out.  Love us or hate us, we are here to perform and this ring shows I excelled at that.  Thank you.”  The Axe leaves the podium and goes to the end of the stage where he calls Jack Lumber over.  Jack comes over and the two shake hands.  Jack goes to sit back down.  Axe joins his bandmates and they with Master Bull leave the stage.

A voice comes over the loudspeakers “Our next inductee is honored by a Hall of Fame alum – Ravishing Raquel”.  Raquel comes out to a pop from the crowd.  She goes to stand at the podium.  “I’ve fought during the wrestling revolution where Women had to transform from eye candy to divas and to wrestlers.  I am honored to have wrestled (won and lost) to the woman I have the honor of inducting tonight.  Ladies and Gentlemen…Taylor Bella.”  Taylor comes out to a standing ovation from the crowd.  She and Raquel hug and Raquel presents her with her hall of fame ring.  Taylor goes to stand at the podium.  “A story has a beginning, a middle and an end.  The story of Taylor Bella doesn’t end tonight but on Friday when I have the privilege of teaming with my sisters to take on that spitfire Hayley Hailstone and the twins.  Hayley, I’ve heard a lot about you and now I look forward to wrestling you in my last match.   Raquel was right; during a time where lady wrestlers were overlooked as eye candy or filler for matches, we shattered the ceiling and ladies like myself, Raquel and Southern Belle paved the way for the fantastic talent that fills today’s roster – Maxine, Korbi, Violet, Hayley, and the current champion Catalina – we pass the torch to you.  We know that the future of Ladies Wrestling is safe in your collective hands.  Treat the history with respect but make sure you carve out chapters for each of you.  You all have great stories to tell and your time is far from over.  Have fun with it.  Thank you to my family – Brea and Nikki, to my fellow wrestlers and you the fans.  Thank you for your support over the years.  It was an honor to wrestle in front of you.  My final ask…pick your favorites – good or evil and support them.  We do this for you.  Thank you.”  Taylor leaves the stage arm in arm with Raquel and they go to the back.

Max McGillicutty comes out.  “Our final inductees teamed with this man as well as feuded with him.  Inducting the last two members of the 2020 hall of fame…Davis Hoffmeister.”  Davis comes out but he is dressed as the Stache.  The fans and wrestlers are on their feet applauding.  “I started my career as a member of the Desperados as the Stache.  As I stepped aside to pursue a singles career, another man stepped up to not just take my place but to excel in the sport.”  Stache removes his mask to reveal Davis.  “Tonight, I am honored to induct the Desperados – El Chango and Leon Teremoto.”  The audience stands up and applaud as El Chango and Leon Teremoto come out.  They both hug Davis as he presents them with their hall of fame rings.  Leon starts off. “The Stache set the bar high as a member of the Desperados.  When I first started, I wasn’t sure I could live up to the reputation he and El Chango crafted.  That was like taking the Legion of Doom and removing a core member and wondering if it would work.  I’m proud to say that even though I held singles titles, teaming with El Chango and winning the Tag Team titles was the highlight of my career.  I couldn’t have asked for a better tag partner nor a man who paved the way to make us a successful team (points at Davis).  Echoing what all my fellow inductees have said, you the fans made us.  HCW has the greatest fans in the world and you made it easy for us to entertain.  For that, I thank you.”  Leon steps aside and El Chango gets his time.  “Someone once asked me, who was a better tag partner – Stache or Leon.  My response was that even though we were called the Desperados both times, we were not the same team.  My teaming with Stache or with Leon were unique opportunities and it is not a proper compare.  Tonight, Leon and I join the hall of fame ranks as the Desperados.  We bled, sweat and dropped tears for you and your continued support of us allowed us to keep going along.  I want to thank HCW for all they’ve done allowing us to go out with our heads held high and safe in our thoughts we accomplished exactly what we wanted in this sport – no regrets.  Thank you to one and all for your support.   To the future of HCW, give 100% and the fans will support you.  We had our time and now, the stage is yours.  Thank you all.”  The fans once again popped.  

Axe, Taylor Bella and Magnum Kone all came back out and joined El Chango and Leon Teremoto on stage.  The fans and wrestlers gave them all a standing ovation.  They congratulated each other and stayed on stage until the cameras ceased rolling.

Thanks for reading.  Our PPV is up next.  Stay tuned.

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #837 (4/08/20) – Go home show

Hello fans and welcome to another installment of the HCW wrestling newsletter.  Pyro goes off and the cameras zip across the audience as they pop louder and louder.  We then cut to the commentary desk with J9 and Dash “Smooooooooth” Woodbrick.

J9:  Dash, we are once again LIVE in front of a sold out audience.  The fans are ecstatic that we are back!”

Dash:  You know, it was nice not having these morons here. 

J9: Give me a break Dash.  Tonight, we have a battle royal for both the Men’s and Ladies’ teams and the winners of each will be given a title shot in the future.  I’m reading that the World Champion and King  the Wicked Prophet will be excluded from this event.

Dash:  What a miscarriage of justice.  The Champ and King can go and do whatever he wants.  This is BULL****!

J9:  Dash, watch your mouth.  There are little kids watching.

Dash:  Kids smids….if they can’t handle it, tell them to grow up.

J9:  Dash, you’re unbelievable.

Dash:  I gotta be me.

Our first event is the Ladies Battle Royal.  All of them including Catalina Harper make their way out.   Right off the bat, they tried to eliminate Catalina but the first attempt was unsuccessful.  Catalina threw Betsy Cummings over the top rope to save herself only to be eliminated by Betsy’s twin Felicia.  The rest of the eliminations happened quickly and just like that, we were down to the final three – Hayley Hailstone, Sassy Maxine DeVito and Korbi Kong.  Hayley tried to make a deal with Maxine to eliminate Korbi but Maxine turned on Hayley and eliminated her right away.  Korbi then got involved and tried to eliminate Maxine who went over the top rope but landed on the apron saving herself from elimination.  Maxine locked in a guillotine choke but Korbi escaped and locked in an arm triangle choke.  Maxine made it to the ropes before she could tap out. Korbi set Maxine up in the corner and then rushed to the other side of the ring before returning at high speed going for a spear.  Maxine moved and Korbi hit the steel post.  Maxine pulled her back in and immediately locked in a dragon sleeper.  Korbi struggled but ended up going to sleep.  Maxine then hurled the sleeping Korbi over the top rope to the floor.  ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito gets the win and with this win, she gets a money in the bank contract that she can use at any time to cash in against the Ladies Champion.  The fans boo her but she doesn’t care.  She begins to leave but then Korbi is back in the ring and starts pummeling Maxine.  She locks Maxine in an Arm Triangle Choke and Maxine is tapping out but this isn’t a match.  Korbi refuses to let go unless Maxine agrees to put her contract on the line at the PPV.  To avoid further damage, Maxine reluctantly agrees.  Korbi lets her go but then picks Maxine up again and hits a running powerslam that she called the Korbi Kong Smash.  Korbi smirks and leaves.  The fans are solidly behind Korbi.  Maxine makes her way to the back afterwards.

J9:  Korbi showed the world who’s ‘the Boss’

Dash:  What she did was cheat.  And the fans love her for it.  What a bunch of bigots.

Backstage, GM Max McGillicutty and Master Bull are putting the final touches on the PPV.  The Anytime/Anywhere Champion the Masked Banana rushes in and closes the door behind him.  The GM’s look at MB and he looks back.  Max then says “Oh, I forgot.  Effective immediately, the 24/7 rule for defending the Anytime/Anywhere title is suspended.  That means, between now and the PPV, you’re safe.”  Masked Banana comes over and shakes both their hands and then leaves with his head held high.

Taylor Bella comes out and stands in the ring.  She says that Hayley wants her gone but she won’t bring it to the ring.  Taylor says that Hayley is afraid of her.  Just then, Hayley Hailstorm and the Cummings twins come out.  The three ladies surround the ring and each starts to enter.  Taylor tries to fight them off but 3 on 1 are not good odds.  Just then, HOLY COW…the Bella Twins – Nikki and Brea – come out and the fans pop huge.  They rush down to save their sister and end up dispatching Hayley, Betsy and Felicia from the ring.  Taylor issues Hayley a challenge.  “At the PPV, you and the phony twins against me and my sisters…what do you think?”  Hayley liked the idea.  She is interrupted by GM Master Bull.  Bull gets on the mic and says that the Bella Twins are not members of HCW so technically, they are not allowed to wrestle.  The fans boo.  Bull continues “But…if you are willing to sign a one night only contract, the match is on.”  The Bella immediately agreed and we have another match locked in for the PPV.  Hayley and the Cummings twins left and Taylor and her sisters interacted with the fans before leaving.

A vignette then airs of the flannel wearing lumberjack Jack Lumber of him getting ready for his match with the Banker.  It shows Jack doing different things…he’s flipping tractor tires; he’s trudging through snow banks; he’s in a barn and he’s doing pull ups (think Rocky training from Rocky IV).  After a minute, it ends with Jack slamming his axe into some firewood.  He turns to the camera and says “Choppin’ Wood and Lookin’ Good”.  He drops the Axe and smiles.

It’s time for the Men’s Battle Royal.  Again, it is decided that the World Champion the Wicked Prophet is not allowed to participate (something Dash Woodbrick feels strongly against). 

Right off the bat, and with the help from Smasher #1, the Six Man tag team champs (Superquake Ferguson, Maximillian Redbeard and Killa Pops) were eliminated by the 5^th Column.  After the elimination, Pops issued a challenge to the 5^th Column where they would put the title on the line.  The Column agreed.  But then they too got eliminated.  Next, Texas Wildfire managed to eliminate ‘the Bounty Hunter’ Jake Montrose but then Montrose helps Leiton Snake eliminate Wildfire moments later.  Wildfire challenged Montrose to a match at the PPV and the two brawled all the way to the back.  Regulator Mule eliminated Jack Lawson with an assist from Madman Mason.  A few minutes later, Mason is eliminated by Matches Malone and he was NOT happy.  Shortly after that, Apollo Gyze eliminated Rad Gumbo.  Apollo said he was not apologizing.  Apollo went on to eliminate Buzz Steel before watching his aspirations come to an end after ‘the Hoff’ eliminated him.  Wilber Townsend eliminated Phat Sol.  When the dust settled, it came down to two former tag team partners – Jack Lumber and the Masked Banana.  Just before the two of them could square off, out comes the Wicked Prophet.  Prophet says he doesn’t care what the GM’s say, he is inserting himself into this NOW.  Instead of turning on each other, they set their sights on the World Champion.  The Masked Banana took first crack but slipped (on what could have been a banana peel) and Prophet eliminated him.  Now, it’s down to Jack Lumber and the Wicked Prophet.  After three minutes, Prophet hits Jack with the Exile and sends him over the top rope to the floor.  The bell rings and it looks like the Wicked Prophet has a SECOND MITB contract.  This brought out GM Master Bull.  Bull said that Prophet inserted himself into a match he had no business in.  If Prophet wants to be in a match so bad, Bull says that he is making a triple threat match between Prophet, Lumber and the Masked Banana and the contract will be in the balance.  If Prophet wins, he retains the contract but if Lumber or Banana get the win, the contract goes to them.  And just so this can’t end on a DQ or time limit draw, the match is set with ECW rules. 

This one really was between Lumber and Prophet as the Masked Banana didn’t get much in-ring time.  The two battled all over the ring and even took the action to the outside.   Finally, after spending over 10 minutes without being able to contribute much, the Masked Banana got involved and surprises everyone with his level of offense.  We join the match at the 11 minute mark.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a UNRIGHTEOUS DOMINION....

The Masked Banana executes a PEANUT BUTTER & BANANA SANDWICH....

The Wicked Prophet is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

The Masked Banana kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a ATOMIC DROP....

The Wicked Prophet attempts to defend against ATOMIC DROP but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

The Masked Banana executes a SUDDENLY BANANAS....

Jack Lumber executes a STIFF UPPERCUT....

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

The Masked Banana rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

The Masked Banana executes a PEANUT BUTTER & BANANA SANDWICH....

The Wicked Prophet executes a BAPHOMET BRUISER....

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

The Masked Banana rolled DC

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a KNEE LIFT....

The Masked Banana neutralizes KNEE LIFT.

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

The Masked Banana attempts to execute a SMASH EMPTY CHAIR OVER HEAD - DRAW BLOOD....

The Wicked Prophet neutralizes SMASH EMPTY CHAIR OVER HEAD - DRAW BLOOD.

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

The Masked Banana rolled DC

Jack Lumber rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Masked Banana rolled DC

Jack Lumber rolled OC.

Jack Lumber executes a TIMMMMMBEEERRRRR....

The Masked Banana attempts to defend against TIMMMMMBEEERRRRR but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

The Masked Banana rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet rolled DC

The Masked Banana executes a YELLOW FEVER....

The Wicked Prophet attempts to defend against YELLOW FEVER but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

The Masked Banana rolled DC

The Wicked Prophet rolled OC.

The Wicked Prophet executes a FIRE - WALK WITH ME....

The Masked Banana reverses FIRE - WALK WITH ME!

The Masked Banana executes a BANANA HAMMOCK....

The Wicked Prophet attempts to defend against BANANA HAMMOCK but is unsuccessful.

The Masked Banana is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

The Wicked Prophet was pinned by The Masked Banana!!!

The Masked Banana wins with a BANANA HAMMOCK over The Wicked Prophet!!!

J9 is on her feet.  “Can you believe it?  The Masked Banana just won the match to win the Money in the Bank briefcase.  He now has a contract that will allow him to cash in against any title at any time.”

Dash is shaking his head.  “No, no, no!  That big yellow freak cheated!  What a miscarriage of justice.  Master Bull had no right making this match and putting the Champ in such a precarious position.  I’m starting a petition to get him fired!  This will not stand.”

J9 says “Ah Dash but it will and with that, our show comes to an end.”  Dash is in the background still yelling “NO, NO, NO”.

Thanks for reading.  The fanfest and the Hall of Fame ceremony are next followed by our 3 day PPV extravaganza – Critical Mass.  Stay Tuned.

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2020 #836 (4/01/20)

Hello fans and welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter.  Today, we may still be in an empty arena however for one night only, we are going VIRTUAL. Yep, you read that correctly.  HCW is taking its show into the world of virtual reality.  How, you ask, are we going to accomplish that?  Well, we are dusting off the old xxx and controllers and tonight’s performers are going to play xxx using avatars of themselves.  How they perform in the game will count towards their win/loss ratings in HCW. 

We start the show with J9 and Dash ‘Smoooooth’ Woodbrick.

J9:  Well Dash, you for sure aren’t one for breaking rules.  One day, your mouth will get the better of you.

Dash:  Can’t write a check your mouth can’t cash.

J9:  Do what you want.  Anyway, tonight, we have tables set up with these old fashioned Nintendo consoles and take the action into the world of virtual reality.

Dash:  I think that that the GMs especially Master Bull, wants to cut people’s pay.  All this and a WFH in place.  He should be fired.

J9:  Give me a break Dash.  Anyway, our first table is set up and we’re going to see the Flannel wearing Lumberjack Jack Lumber take on Jesse California.

Jack and Jesse make their way to the table and sit down on either side.  They are handed their controllers and their avatars make their way to the ring.  Lumber stops and interacts with other avatars in the Lumber Lounge.  Jesse yells at him to get his avatar in the ring.  Jesse begins with a flurry of kicks and shots and Jack was caught unaware (may have been his first time playing a video game).  He eventually got the hang of it and began battling back.  Just when Jack was setting up to hit the Axe, the Banker’s avatar showed up in the audience.  Jack was confused.  Just then, the real life Banker rushed over and nailed Jack with the briefcase and then took off as quickly as he showed up.  Jack’s avatar stood there.  Jesse then hit a flying dropkick and went for the cover getting the 1-2-3.  Jesse California gets the win.  He stands up and begins to gloat.  Dash Woodbrick begins laughing hysterically.  “DAMN, he got punked.  HAHAHAH.”  Jack got to his feet and hit Jesse with a real life Axe before taking off to go find the Banker. (22 min)

In the waiting area, Violet challenges Catalina to a match.  Catalina says the title is not on the line.  Violet accepts.  GM Master Bull, who was present, officially made this match our main event.  Violet left and J9 came over to interview the Ladies Champion.

J9:  Catalina, we are in unprecedented territory with the virus having everyone on lockdown.  This virtual world is great but there are no fans.

Catalina:  “I don’t need a pile of idiotic “fans”. If I did, I’d call them ‘The Litterbox’ because they’re a bunch of little sh*ts. I’d p*ss on them and then bury them.”

J9:  That is harsh. 

Catalina:  You know what’s harsh?  The Masked Banana.  That weird banana guy freaks meow-t.

J9:  Do you always respond in cat talk?

Catalina:  Let me leave you with this.  How do you make a cat go woof? Douse it with gasoline and light it on fire. WOOF!


Catalina walks away.  J9 stands there shaking her head.


GM Master Bull calls the next participants over for their virtual match.  Col. Sam Flagg and ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo sit down.  Ms. Alexandria is standing by Gumbo’s side.  Flagg mocks her and Gumbo warns him to hold his tongue.  The fight begins and the match is pretty even until Flagg takes a swipe at Ms. Alexandria (in the game).  The real Ms. Alexandria walks over and slaps the taste out of Flagg’s mouth.  Flagg (real life) tried to complain but the ref in the game didn’t see it.  Flagg’s avatar stomped Rad in the head and once again turned to Ms. Alexandria but then Rad locked Flagg in the New Orleans Crab and his avatar tapped out.  Rad Gumbo gets the win but (back in the real world) he is attacked by Apollo Gyze and Flagg is attacked by Matches Malone.  The four men continue to fight until Max McGillicutty and Master Bull broke it up.  Apollo and Flagg both stormed off.  (12 min)


In the back, Korbi Kong is moving some stuff around and ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito sneaks up from behind and shoves Korbi into some boxes and crates.  Maxine stands there laughing until Korbi gets up, grabs a crate and hurls it to the floor with such ferocity that it practically disintegrates upon impact.  Korbi looks at Maxine and says “Korbi Kong…Smash” and Maxine’s eyes go all wide and she turns taking off.  Korbi dusts herself off and goes back to doing whatever she was doing.  She picks up “Nannie” and sets him on the box.


Up next, Scooter J and TNT have issued a challenge to the Freedom Fighters for their shot at the Steel Curtain’s World Tag Team Titles.  Both teams sit at the table and (of course) Scooter J begins talking smack.  Just then, Buzz and Starbuck Steel walk up behind them and say “boo” and TNT and Scooter J practically jump out of their seats.  Buzz and Starbuck laugh and walk off.  The match begins with both teams evenly paced until Justice and Flash turned up the heat.  Things also got more interesting in the game when we suddenly hear “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYBODY”.  TNT (real) begins looking around for a potential sneak attack and missed (in the game) an attempt to tag out by Scooter J.  After Scooter J’s avatar bodyslammed Flash’s avatar on the mat, the bell rang bringing this 30 min bout to a time limit draw.  The Freedom Fighters walk off with their title match at the PPV intact.    The Fighters walk away and SJ and TNT look flustered because of a fake out attempt by the evil vampire Dr. Red Fang.  Just then, Fang rushed in and began smashing both of them with an aluminum trash can.  After denting it beyond repair, he took off.  Scooter J had a few small cuts and immediately issued a challenge to Dr. Red Fang for a match at the PPV.  TNT whispered something in his ear and SJ amended it to now be a triple threat match for the title (more like a 2 on 1 handicap match).  The Ambassador, safe from harm’s way, says Fang accepts the challenge and will see them there.


Dash Woodbrick is talking to Violet Valkyrie.  Violet says that she wants Catalina in the ring and will dish out more pain that the freaky cat lady has ever experienced.  Violet says that if she loses tonight, she will give up her title match at the PPV but is confident she will not lose.  She walks off.  Dash mutters “I guess we’ll see about that.”


Next up at the gaming console is Hayley Hailstone taking on Missy Chick.   During the match that Missy surprisingly dominated, Taylor Bella’s avatar came out and rushed down to the ring. She didn’t enter it though.  Hayley (in the game and in real life) looked around and got distracted. Missy connected with a Japanese armdrag and used that to maneuver Hayley into a pin attempt.  Missy managed to secure the leg and got the 1-2-3.  Missy drops the controller and smirks as she walks off.  Hayley, frustrated, hurls her controller into the wall destroying it.  She gets up and begins to walk away.  Korbi Kong came around the corner and said “Hey, that’s my thing” (referring to the smashing).  She turns and walks away.  (13 min)


Master Bull fortunately had another controller handy for the final match but right now, he wants to bring in Killa Pops.  Killa says he’s waited long enough and tells the so called King Wicked Prophet to sign the contract guaranteeing his title match at the PPV.  Prophet walk over and snatches the document out of Pops’ hands.  He reads it thoroughly (making sure nothing was added) and signs it.  He throws it back at Pops who signs it too handing the signed document to Master Bull.  He walks off.

Dash Woodbrick catches up to the World Champion to ask his thoughts on Pops trying to make a name for himself by taking on the #1 guy in HCW.  Wicked Prophet responds “I have a premonition about the way my unworthy challenger, Killa Pops, will be defeated in a manner you great (said sarcastically) fans of HCW haven’t seen in a while. “Killa Pops” will become Killa Plops when I raise his limp body above my head and drop him to the ground to defeat and humiliate him by TKO.”  Dash asks then if their match at the PPV will be a specialty rules and Prophet says “If that is what it takes to squash the nat, then yes, it will happen.”  Prophet turns and leaves.  Dash says “What a great man”.

It’s time for our main event and this one, as a reminder, is a non-title match but Violet has stated that if she loses this match, she will forfeit her title match at the PPV.  Violet has everything to potentially lose but she wants Catalina in the ring so bad she’ll agree to whatever stipulation.   Both women sit at their table and watch as each person’s avatar comes out.  Catalina is accompanied not by the cats the last time she came out but by a cheetah on a leash.  Violet looks concerned and everyone (live) around them are astonished to see a wild animal coming out at the side of the Ladies Champion.  Catalina reminds everyone that this is a non-title match and that Violet’s PPV future hangs in the balance.  The match begins with Catalina dominating the match.  A few times she would go for the pin only to pull Violet up by her hair (such a heelish move).  This went on for almost 16 minutes but then the cheetah got loose and wanted to play with Catalina which distracted her.  Violet took advantage of the distraction and hit Catalina with back to back Exploder Suplex. After the second one, Violet went for the pin and got the 3 count. Violets’ match at the PPV is secure.  Violet (the real one) stands up and tells Catalina she will see in in two weeks.  To make matters worse, Violet launched into her own cat-themed. 


Violet:  “Aww, what’s the matter little kitty? Having a hissy fit?”

“Looks like someone needs a catitude adjustment…”

“What’s wrong, sourpuss? Cat got your tongue?”

 “Go lick your wounds, little kitty.”


J9 then exclaimed “Me-OUCH!!!!”  Dash followed up with “Not you too.”


Catalina replies with “What a cat-astrophe. Pardon me while I go lick my wounds.  I still have 8 lives left, and they’re ALL coming for you!  Violet, it’s not over until the last kitty sings.”  Violet responds “STOP with the stupid Cat puns already.”  The (real) fists began to fly and those wrestlers and GMs still around had to break it up.


That’s it for our Virtual show.  Hope you enjoyed it.  Stay tuned for more.


***News Flash*** HCW is cleared to start hosting events again.  WOOHOO.  Tickets went on sale as soon as news leaked and the next event was sold out within minutes.