Hello fans and
welcome back to another installment of the HCW Wrestling Newsletter. Today, we may still be in an empty arena
however for one night only, we are going VIRTUAL. Yep, you read that
correctly. HCW is taking its show into
the world of virtual reality. How, you
ask, are we going to accomplish that?
Well, we are dusting off the old xxx and controllers and tonight’s
performers are going to play xxx using avatars of themselves. How they perform in the game will count
towards their win/loss ratings in HCW.
We start the show
with J9 and Dash ‘Smoooooth’ Woodbrick.
Dash: Can’t write a check your mouth can’t cash.
J9: Do what you want. Anyway, tonight, we have tables set up with
these old fashioned Nintendo consoles and take the action into the world of
virtual reality.
Dash: I think that that the GMs especially Master
Bull, wants to cut people’s pay. All
this and a WFH in place. He should be
fired.
J9: Give me a break Dash. Anyway, our first table is set up and we’re
going to see the Flannel wearing Lumberjack Jack Lumber take on Jesse
California.
Jack and Jesse
make their way to the table and sit down on either side. They are handed their controllers and their
avatars make their way to the ring.
Lumber stops and interacts with other avatars in the Lumber Lounge. Jesse yells at him to get his avatar in the
ring. Jesse begins with a flurry of
kicks and shots and Jack was caught unaware (may have been his first time
playing a video game). He eventually got
the hang of it and began battling back.
Just when Jack was setting up to hit the Axe, the Banker’s avatar showed
up in the audience. Jack was
confused. Just then, the real life
Banker rushed over and nailed Jack with the briefcase and then took off as
quickly as he showed up. Jack’s avatar stood
there. Jesse then hit a flying dropkick
and went for the cover getting the 1-2-3.
Jesse California gets the win. He
stands up and begins to gloat. Dash
Woodbrick begins laughing hysterically. “DAMN,
he got punked. HAHAHAH.” Jack got to his feet and hit Jesse with a
real life Axe before taking off to go find the Banker. (22 min)
In the waiting
area, Violet challenges Catalina to a match.
Catalina says the title is not on the line. Violet accepts. GM Master Bull, who was present, officially
made this match our main event. Violet
left and J9 came over to interview the Ladies Champion.
J9: Catalina, we are in unprecedented territory
with the virus having everyone on lockdown.
This virtual world is great but there are no fans.
Catalina: “I don’t need a pile of idiotic “fans”. If I did, I’d call them ‘The Litterbox’ because they’re a bunch of little sh*ts. I’d p*ss on them and then bury them.”
J9: That is harsh.
Catalina: You know what’s harsh? The Masked Banana. That weird banana guy freaks meow-t.
J9: Do you always respond in cat talk?
Catalina: Let me leave you with this. How do you make a cat go woof? Douse it with gasoline and light it on fire. WOOF!
Catalina walks away. J9 stands there shaking her head.
GM Master Bull calls the next participants over for their virtual match. Col. Sam Flagg and ‘the Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo sit down. Ms. Alexandria is standing by Gumbo’s side. Flagg mocks her and Gumbo warns him to hold his tongue. The fight begins and the match is pretty even until Flagg takes a swipe at Ms. Alexandria (in the game). The real Ms. Alexandria walks over and slaps the taste out of Flagg’s mouth. Flagg (real life) tried to complain but the ref in the game didn’t see it. Flagg’s avatar stomped Rad in the head and once again turned to Ms. Alexandria but then Rad locked Flagg in the New Orleans Crab and his avatar tapped out. Rad Gumbo gets the win but (back in the real world) he is attacked by Apollo Gyze and Flagg is attacked by Matches Malone. The four men continue to fight until Max McGillicutty and Master Bull broke it up. Apollo and Flagg both stormed off. (12 min)
In the back, Korbi Kong is moving some stuff around and ‘Sassy’ Maxine DeVito sneaks up from behind and shoves Korbi into some boxes and crates. Maxine stands there laughing until Korbi gets up, grabs a crate and hurls it to the floor with such ferocity that it practically disintegrates upon impact. Korbi looks at Maxine and says “Korbi Kong…Smash” and Maxine’s eyes go all wide and she turns taking off. Korbi dusts herself off and goes back to doing whatever she was doing. She picks up “Nannie” and sets him on the box.
Up next, Scooter J and TNT have issued a challenge to the Freedom Fighters for their shot at the Steel Curtain’s World Tag Team Titles. Both teams sit at the table and (of course) Scooter J begins talking smack. Just then, Buzz and Starbuck Steel walk up behind them and say “boo” and TNT and Scooter J practically jump out of their seats. Buzz and Starbuck laugh and walk off. The match begins with both teams evenly paced until Justice and Flash turned up the heat. Things also got more interesting in the game when we suddenly hear “VAMPIRE LUNGES FOR EVERYBODY”. TNT (real) begins looking around for a potential sneak attack and missed (in the game) an attempt to tag out by Scooter J. After Scooter J’s avatar bodyslammed Flash’s avatar on the mat, the bell rang bringing this 30 min bout to a time limit draw. The Freedom Fighters walk off with their title match at the PPV intact. The Fighters walk away and SJ and TNT look flustered because of a fake out attempt by the evil vampire Dr. Red Fang. Just then, Fang rushed in and began smashing both of them with an aluminum trash can. After denting it beyond repair, he took off. Scooter J had a few small cuts and immediately issued a challenge to Dr. Red Fang for a match at the PPV. TNT whispered something in his ear and SJ amended it to now be a triple threat match for the title (more like a 2 on 1 handicap match). The Ambassador, safe from harm’s way, says Fang accepts the challenge and will see them there.
Dash Woodbrick is talking to Violet Valkyrie. Violet says that she wants Catalina in the ring and will dish out more pain that the freaky cat lady has ever experienced. Violet says that if she loses tonight, she will give up her title match at the PPV but is confident she will not lose. She walks off. Dash mutters “I guess we’ll see about that.”
Next up at the gaming console is Hayley Hailstone taking on Missy Chick. During the match that Missy surprisingly dominated, Taylor Bella’s avatar came out and rushed down to the ring. She didn’t enter it though. Hayley (in the game and in real life) looked around and got distracted. Missy connected with a Japanese armdrag and used that to maneuver Hayley into a pin attempt. Missy managed to secure the leg and got the 1-2-3. Missy drops the controller and smirks as she walks off. Hayley, frustrated, hurls her controller into the wall destroying it. She gets up and begins to walk away. Korbi Kong came around the corner and said “Hey, that’s my thing” (referring to the smashing). She turns and walks away. (13 min)
Master Bull fortunately had another controller handy for the final match but right now, he wants to bring in Killa Pops. Killa says he’s waited long enough and tells the so called King Wicked Prophet to sign the contract guaranteeing his title match at the PPV. Prophet walk over and snatches the document out of Pops’ hands. He reads it thoroughly (making sure nothing was added) and signs it. He throws it back at Pops who signs it too handing the signed document to Master Bull. He walks off.
Dash Woodbrick catches up to the World
Champion to ask his thoughts on Pops trying to make a name for himself by
taking on the #1 guy in HCW. Wicked
Prophet responds “I
have a premonition about the way my unworthy challenger, Killa Pops, will be
defeated in a manner you great (said sarcastically) fans of HCW haven’t seen in
a while. “Killa Pops” will become Killa Plops when I raise his limp body above
my head and drop him to the ground to defeat and humiliate him by TKO.” Dash asks then if their match at the PPV will
be a specialty rules and Prophet says “If that is what it takes to squash the
nat, then yes, it will happen.” Prophet
turns and leaves. Dash says “What a
great man”.
It’s time for our main event and this one, as a reminder, is a non-title match but Violet has stated that if she loses this match, she will forfeit her title match at the PPV. Violet has everything to potentially lose but she wants Catalina in the ring so bad she’ll agree to whatever stipulation. Both women sit at their table and watch as each person’s avatar comes out. Catalina is accompanied not by the cats the last time she came out but by a cheetah on a leash. Violet looks concerned and everyone (live) around them are astonished to see a wild animal coming out at the side of the Ladies Champion. Catalina reminds everyone that this is a non-title match and that Violet’s PPV future hangs in the balance. The match begins with Catalina dominating the match. A few times she would go for the pin only to pull Violet up by her hair (such a heelish move). This went on for almost 16 minutes but then the cheetah got loose and wanted to play with Catalina which distracted her. Violet took advantage of the distraction and hit Catalina with back to back Exploder Suplex. After the second one, Violet went for the pin and got the 3 count. Violets’ match at the PPV is secure. Violet (the real one) stands up and tells Catalina she will see in in two weeks. To make matters worse, Violet launched into her own cat-themed.
Violet: “Aww, what’s the matter little kitty? Having a hissy fit?”
“Looks like someone needs a catitude adjustment…”
“What’s wrong, sourpuss? Cat got your tongue?”
“Go lick your wounds, little kitty.”
J9 then exclaimed “Me-OUCH!!!!” Dash followed up with “Not you too.”
Catalina replies with “What a cat-astrophe. Pardon me while I go lick my wounds. I still have 8 lives left, and they’re ALL coming for you! Violet, it’s not over until the last kitty sings.” Violet responds “STOP with the stupid Cat puns already.” The (real) fists began to fly and those wrestlers and GMs still around had to break it up.
That’s it for our Virtual show. Hope you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for more.
***News Flash*** HCW is cleared to start hosting events again. WOOHOO. Tickets went on sale as soon as news leaked and the next event was sold out within minutes.
No comments:
Post a Comment