HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2016 #505

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  The HCW is on the move once again and this time are coming to you live from Yuma, AZ.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out and thanks the fans in Yuma for supporting them.  He is then interrupted by Pete the PUN-isher who says he needs to address the crowd.  He takes a mic and says that the fans in Yuma are much more accepting than the idiots in Phoenix and THEY will totally get his puns.  He starts off…

 “Want to know why they are doing away with round bales of hay?  It’s because the cows aren’t getting square meals.”  The fans boo.  “Ok, I agree that wasn’t great but here’s another one.”

“I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.”  The fans groan and Pete is becoming more frustrated.  “Come on…Ok, here is one that will knock your socks off.”

“What do you call a fish with no eyes?  A F…sh.  Get it?  No I..no eye…?”  Groaning ensues and now Pete is pissed.  “Come on you idiots!  This is funny stuff!”  The fans practically riot.  They begin throwing anything not secured down towards Pete in the ring.  He realized he may have gone too far.  Pete runs from the ring and hightails it to the back zipping past Max in fear of his life.  The fans stop as soon as he’s gone.  Max addresses the fans and says that they DO get comedy and what we just heard was NOT.  Max says that since Pete interrupted him, he will be in a match later with a guy who has an attitude problem …Angry Jack Lawson.  The fans cheer.

Max leaves and after pyro has finished going off, our first match kicks off with 6 man action.  The Smashers w/MJ come out first and they are joined by Handsome Hernandez.  The trio head to the ring (minus MJ).  Their opponents come out and it is the team of Superstar Chic Monroe, Billy Robbins and Wendell Hammerschmidt.  The Smashers and Hernandez immediately go on the offensive with Hernandez squaring off first against Robbins.  Robbins dropkicked Hernandez out of the ring and then caught both Smashers with the Aries 450.  The fans chant HOLY SH*T and that is basically how the match continued.  Chic and Billy would double team Hernandez leaving the tag champs stuck on the outside.  Finally, Smasher #2 got fed up and hit Wendell with a steel chair resulting in a DQ.  Robbins and Chic then quickly disposed the Smashers from the ring and the 3 stood tall while the Smashers left on their own separate from Hernandez.  (8 min)

Backstage, Outback Oscar is with reporter Larry Morton.  Oscar says that his match against the Stache didn’t go as planned as he is obviously not standing here with the belt.  Oscar says that he underestimated the Stache and that was the reason for his loss.  He says that he still owns one of the best win/loss records in the HCW and it will only be a matter of time when he gets another shot.  When that happens, he will be better prepared.

There is a bit of a commotion at the start of our next match.  Security guards are trying to get Pete the PUN-isher to go to the ring but he claims his life is in danger.  Max comes out again and pleads with the fans to NOT throw anything at him until the match is over.  Pete starts to make his way down only to turn back, rush around security and go backstage.  Seconds later, Angry Jack Lawson has a hold of Pete and drags him down to the ring and throws him in.  Pete slides right out and grabs a chair.  He hits Jack with the chair and then tries to escape only to have red flames go off on the ring posts. Pete is momentarily distracted and that is when Jack sits up and then goes right after Pete.  The fight is a short lived one as Jack catches Pete and plants him in the middle of the ring with a chokeslam.  He takes the chair and then bodyslams Pete on it.  The ref called for the bell but Max, still on stage, said no and changed it to a no-DQ match.  Jack put his foot on top of Pete and the ref counted 1-2-3.  Angry Jack gets the win and after looking with disgust at Pete, he leaves.  (13 min)

Backstage, Phat Sol is talking smack about how good he really is and says he can take on anyone.  Biceps Bannerman walks over and says that Phat talks a lot for such a small guy.  Biceps will do his talking in the ring.  Phat looks unhappy.

           

We head back to the ring for our next match.  The Hollywood Star comes out first to a mixed reaction.  Next, Muscles Thorpe makes his way down.  Thorpe elicits laughter from the crowd as he runs around the ring wearing his rainbow colored bull horns on his head.  The Star gets frustrated waiting and attacks Thorpe and pulls him into the ring.  After just a couple of minutes, Thorpe turns up the heat and starts to take the Star apart.  A Curb stomp, followed by a kick to the gut and an overhead suplex from Thorpe signal the end.  He makes the cover and gets the easy 1-2-3.  Muscles Thorpe wins this one.  (11 min)

Backstage, El Gato Negro says she has not been happy with how things are going for her and even though life outside the ring is great, what transpires within the squared circle has been a disappointment.  She says she is ready to take on new challenges and will work back up to becoming a top contender for the Ladies title. 

We head to the ring as the next match begins.  First, out comes Biceps Bannerman.  He gets a big pop from the crowd.  Next, accompanied by the Ambassador and his tag team partner Lucas Johnston, it’s Phat Sol.  The Ambassador gives Phat some advice and the match starts off.  Phat immediately stuns Biceps with a jaw jacker and then with the Ambassadors’ help (aka cheating), he really owned the match.  Biceps was at a huge disadvantage with both Lucas and the Ambassador lurking around the ring.  Every punch, kick and clothesline Phat connected with increased his confidence.   12 minutes in, Biceps gets to his breaking point and nails the Ambassador with a powerslam on the outside of the ring.  He’s out!!!  Lucas tends to his manager but that didn’t stop Phat.  In fact, he got furious.  After wiggling out of the Biceps Crunch (bearhug), Phat blasted Biceps with a bionic elbow.  There must have been something in the elbow pad as Biceps was disoriented.  Phat hits the ropes and nails a forearm smash.  He makes the cover and (with Lucas holding down Biceps’ leg), gets the 1-2-3.  Phat Sol wins this one in questionable fashion.  Phat and Lucas leave and help the Ambassador to the back.  (14 min)

Manager Ant Graham is backstage with Dr. Red Fang.  Fang says that the Fiend has been ducking him and yells that he still has not gotten his rematch.  Graham comments that maybe Fang needs to start taking out the trash that occupy the Hardcore title top 10 so that the Fiend will have no other reason to hide from this man (or is he a ‘Bot?)  Fang says he is challenging Mr. Wrestling 5 for his spot tonight.

Southern Belle makes her way down to commentary to scout out this match.  First, Missy Chick comes out to a nice pop from the fans.  She is then followed out by El Gato Negro who also receives a nice ovation from the crowd.  The two immediately lock up and a furious battle ensues.  Missy connects with a Missy-plex and gets a 2 count right off the bat.  The two then battle it out for the next few minutes.  El Gato works on weakening the legs of Missy.  Finally, El Gato locks in the Wall-O-Cato (tarantula) and Missy taps out.  El Gato wins this one pretty quick and Southern Belle is very impressed as she stands and applauds El Gato.  (5 min)

Drew, the Canadian Love Machine says that he is finally ready to reclaim a title (he never lost the defunct CSWA US title) and that begins tonight when he gets Dude USA in the ring.  Drew states that it’s his time and nothing will prevent him from accomplishing his goal.

Manager Ant Graham comes out first and then introduces Dr. Red Fang.  Fang and Graham head to the ring.  Mr. Wrestling #5 comes out next and he is in no mood to mess around.  Fang attacks him before the bell and we have ourselves a slobberknocker.  3 minutes in, Graham smacks MW5 with his walking cane and Fang goes for the pin but only gets a 2 count.  MW5 starts to battle back but Graham jumps on the ring to distract him.   Fang sneaks up from behind and nails 5 with a dropkick that sends him flying out of the ring and crashes into the ringside barrier.  Fang follows him out and nails a Vampire Lunge on the outside of the ring.  Fang crawls back into the ring beating the 10 count.  Fang gets the win and takes Mr. Wrestling 5’s spot in the Hardcore title lineup.  As Ant Graham is escorting his protégé to the back, Fang exclaims “Vampire Lunges for EVERYONE!”  (4 ½ min)

Once again, we head backstage where ‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild is talking to his manager Master Bull.  Reid asks why Bull wasn’t there for him.  Bull says he had to tend to his step son.  Reid asked what he did.  Bull says they…watched Spongebob Squarepants.  Bull says he can’t be in Reid’s corner his next encounter with ScooterJ because if Reid wins, it will appear that it was only because Bull provided support.  Bull says (in his best Obi-Wan voice that) Reid must face ScooterJ again.  He cannot interfere.  Reid says he will show that upstart the meaning of the word respect.

It’s time for our main event.  First, Drew, the Canadian Love Machine comes out to the largest pop of the night.  Once he gets into the ring, the music changes and out comes the US Champion ‘Dude USA’ Mick Rude.  The fans, seem to be behind both men.  The champ controlled the match for about 3 minutes and then Drew kicked it into high gear.  The longer the match went on, the better Drew looked and the more desperate Mick Rude became.  By the time we got 15 minutes into the match, Drew owned this.  We take you to the final moments of the match.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) rolled DC

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a CORKSCREW PESCADO....

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) absorbs the punishment.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!

1...

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) kicks out of the pin!

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC.

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) executes a CLOTHESLINE....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a HANDSTAND HEADSCISSORS....

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) rolled DC

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) rolled OC/TT

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) executes a DUDE AWAKENING....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine attempts to defend against DUDE AWAKENING but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) rolled DC

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled DC

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) executes a SINGLE LEG TAKEDOWN....

Drew the Canadian Love Machine absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 19th minute of the match: =====

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) rolled DC

Drew the Canadian Love Machine rolled OC.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine executes a LA CASITA....

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) absorbs the punishment.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) was pinned by Drew the Canadian Love Machine!!!

Drew the Canadian Love Machine wins with a LA CASITA over Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude) and becomes the NEW US CHAMPION!!!

Drew falls to his knees as the ref hands him the belt.  Balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling as Drew celebrates in the ring.  The show comes to an end with Drew perched on the second turnbuckle taking in the cheer from the fans.  However, after the camera stopped rolling, a figure ran in from the crowd and…hang on…that’s the Savior.  The Savior grabs Drew from his perch and POWERBOMBS in in the middle of the ring.  The Savior then picks up Drew and nails a package DDT.  Drew is out.  The Savior stands over Drew and the fans show their hatred for this guy and he just soaks it in.

That’s all we have for now.  Stay tuned as I’m sure Drew will have words for his former tag team partner.

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2016 #504

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today, we are back on the road coming to you from Salt Lake City, UT. 

The show kicks right off with newcomer ScooterJ making his way out.  He is booed (no surprise there) and he begins to insult the locker room claiming no one wants to face him as he is just “too damn good”.  This challenge brings out the TV Champion ‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild who receives a warm welcome from the SLC crowd.  Reid questions that with only one match under his belt, he should not be throwing out challenges to everyone.  ScooterJ calls Reid washed up and challenges him to a match.  Reid says that it will be a non-title match as this schmuck hasn’t earned anything.  Reid says that his manager Master Bull is not here as he was unable to make the trip.  Reid tells ScooterJ to “bring it”.   ScooterJ attacks Reid and the match begins.   ScooterJ started off strong but then the champ kicked it into high gear and started to own the newbie.  ScooterJ proved to be a bit more of a challenge and Reid definitely underestimated him.  After ScooterJ kicked out of the Rothchild Stunner, Reid was a bit shocked.  He went to question the ref to make sure he knows how to count to 3 but turned around and got hit with a low blow and then ate a superkick from ScooterJ.  ScooterJ went for the pin and after putting his feet on the ropes for leverage, got the 1-2-3.  ScooterJ just defeated the TV Champ in his second outing in the HCW.  ScooterJ tries to take the belt but the ref reminds him the belt was never on the line.  ScooterJ then throws Reid over the top rope to the floor and declares himself the “uncrowned” TV champion.  ScooterJ says he is going to make a case for a title shot now.  (17 min)

Backstage, Travis and Terra of the Ryzing Storm say that they are not getting a fair shake in the HCW and say that if they want anything done, they have to do it themselves.   Terra throws out a challenge to the Steel Curtain and hopes they are man enough to accept.

We head back to the ring for our next match.  First, the Savior comes out and promises to “save” the fans from their own stupidity.  Billy Robbins, his opponent, makes his way out next.  The Savior takes the fight to Billy and the two of them brawl around the ring until Billy hits a dropkick that sends the Savior out of the ring.  Seeming like he’s had enough, he walks away resulting in a countout.   Just then, Handsome Hernandez hits the ring and lays out Billy.  He then locks in a cross arm breaker and (appears to) tries to break Billy’s arm.  Fortunately the ref and some suits break it up before too much damage can be done.  Hernandez leaves looking all smug. (11 ½ min for the match; 15 for the segment)

The Stache arrives and says he is defending his title tonight.  When pressed for who his opponent will be, the Stache said “you’ll just have to wait.”

Next up we have tag team action.  Once again, the Ambassador is trying to get his team ready to challenge for the belts but they still need some work.  P&L (Phat Sol and Lucas Johnston) both head down to the ring with their manager.  Tonight, they are taking on the Desperados (El Chango & Leon Teremoto).   El Chango threatens the Ambassador with bodily harm if he stick his nose in their match.  This match (for P&L) was completely opposite from their last match.  This time, they took the match to the former tag champs and owned them.  Both Lucas and Phat kept Leon in the ring for the majority of the match and their strategy worked (going after the perceived weak link).  Phat and Lucas executed numerous double teams and the Ambassador only got involved once.  In fact, in the last 4 minutes of the match, Lucas went for a pin 4x.  Leon, to his credit, kicked out of 3 of them.  The last one saw Leon eat a flying dropkick from Lucas and at the same time, El Chango was disposed of by Phat Sol.  Leaving no one to make the save, Leon got pinned.  P&L get a win under their belts.  This win allows them to issue a challenge once again in the top 10 to try and qualify for the coveted tag team title shot against the champs the Smashers.  (12 min)  After P&L left the ring, the 5^th Column (Karl Braun, Oswald Zimmerman and Baron von Blood) ran down and attacked the Desperados.  They could not fight back after the beating they just took.  A flash flying through the curtains sees Ivan Dragovich running down to the ring with a chain and he starts swinging it around and the 5^th Colum bail.  Ivan helps the Desperados up and offers his hand.  El Chango and Leon are skeptical but eventually shake it.  The three of them leave.

Backstage, The Steel Curtain accept the match with the Ryzing Storm.  Starbuck says that the Smashers, although they didn’t attack them, are up to something.  Buzz adds in that anytime the Smashers want a piece of them, they know where they are.

Southern Belle comes back out and says she’ll be scouting the next two ladies matches.

We head back to the ring for our ladies match.  Lexy Flexx makes her way to the ring first and is followed out by her opponent Betsy Cummings.  Lexy owned this match as she had to defend her spot in the top 10 lineup.  She really didn’t need to do much as Betsy was practically tripping over herself in the ring.  Lexy used up 13 minutes to showcase her talent to the fans and to Southern Belle.  Belle was really impressed after Lexy reversed a leaping snapmare and turned it into a pumphandle Lexy-Plex.  She got the easy 3 count and retains her spot in the lineup.  Belle applauds at ringside.

Reid Rothchild is backstage and says that he 100% underestimated ScooterJ but says it will never happen again.  Once he and Master Bull are back under the same roof, he will teach ScooterJ the meaning of respect.

Our next Ladies match is on and this time, Queen’s Court ruler Queen Beckett gets to take on Jazz Emmett.  For 17 minutes, her royalness controlled the match but it seems after that, she totally ran out of steam and all Jazz had to do was to hold on for 3 more minutes.  Jazz managed to actually turn to the match into her favor but she didn’t have enough in the tank to keep the Queen’s shoulders to the mat for a 3 count.  The match ends up in a 20 minute time limit draw.  Belle watched from ringside but really didn’t seem all that impressed.   Belle ends up leaving just as the time limit expired.  I take it this means neither of these women are on Belle’s short list.  (20 min draw)

Chic Monroe, Wendell Hammerschimdt & (a beat up) Billy Robbins call out the Tag champs & Hernandez and challenge them to a 6 man match.  Chic says if they don’t accept, it proves they are nothing but cowards.

We head back to the ring for Tag team action.  The Ryzing Storm (Travis and Terra Ryzing) come out first.  Music changes and the oh-so-popular the Steel Curtain come out to the biggest pop of the night so far.  This one was also just another ass-kicking.  Once again, the tag team champs the Smashers come out.  It looks like they were going to attack the Steel Curtain but instead (as MJ distracted the ref) attacked the Ryzing Storm injuring them.  The Smashers remained at ringside just to play mind games with the Steel Curtain.  Anytime the SC tried to go for a pin, MJ or the Smashers would distract the ref.  Finally, the bell rang bringing this one to a 20 minute draw.   The Steel Curtain were pissed.  Just as they left the ring, the Smashers ran in and “smashed” the Ryzing Storm.  It appears that they are making a statement to the rest of the tag team division.

GM Max McGillicutty comes out just as the Smashers and MJ are leaving.  Max warns them to tread lightly and MJ tells Max that these two men are the World Tag Team champions and they will do whatever they want, whenever they want and to whomever they want.  If one of those teams wants to try their hand at taking on these two men, they are welcome to but need to make sure they have rooms booked at the local hospital as they will need serious medical attention afterwards.  MJ and the Smashers leave laughing.

It is time for our Main Event and it will be for the World Title.  The challenger comes out first and as the music hits, out comes Outback Oscar.  Oscar is pumped and high-fives with the fans as he rushes down to the ring.  The music changes and out comes the World Champion The Stache.  Stache takes his time as he heads to the ring soaking in the reactions from the crowd.  Oscar has waited a long time for this and appears to be ready.  The Stache extends his hand and the two shake.  The bell rings and this one is underway.

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

The Stache rolled DC

Outback Oscar rolled OC.

Outback Oscar executes a FULL NELSON FACE SMASH....

The Stache attempts to defend against FULL NELSON FACE SMASH but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

The Stache rolled OC/TT

Outback Oscar rolled DC

The Stache executes a THE S*IT KICKER (DROPKICK)....

Outback Oscar attempts to defend against THE S*IT KICKER (DROPKICK) but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

The Stache rolled OC.

Outback Oscar rolled DC

The Stache executes a THROW OUT OF RING....Oscar goes flying over the top rope and crashes hard on the floor.  It appears that he is hurt.

Outback Oscar attempts to defend against THROW OUT OF RING but is unsuccessful.

Outback Oscar is on the outside.  The ref begins the count.

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...

Outback Oscar makes it back into the ring at the 7 count.

The Stache scores 7 points.

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

The Stache rolled OC.

Outback Oscar rolled DC

The Stache executes a RODEO ROUNDHOUSE (KICK)....

Outback Oscar attempts to defend against RODEO ROUNDHOUSE (KICK) but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

The Stache rolled DC

Outback Oscar rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

The Stache rolled OC.

Outback Oscar rolled OC.

The Stache executes a THE HANDLEBAR (CAMEL CLUTCH)....

Outback Oscar executes a SPINNING ELBOW DROP....

The Stache straps in the THE HANDLEBAR (CAMEL CLUTCH).

Oscar, still hurting from his awkward landing on the floor screams in pain.  In order to avoid permanent damage, he has to tap out.  Outback Oscar submits!!!

The Stache wins with a THE HANDLEBAR (CAMEL CLUTCH) over Outback Oscar!!!

The Stache retains his title in this (unfortunately) short match.  In a show of sportsmanship, the Stache helps Oscar to his feet and shakes hands with him.   Oscar is helped from the ring as the Stache remains in the ring celebrating as well as interacting with fans at ringside.  This brings tonight’s show to an end.

Stay Tuned as there is more action on the horizon.

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2016 #503

Hello fans and welcome back to the latest installment of our newsletter.  Well, I think it’s safe to say that the 3 individuals who all tried out impressed the brass enough and will most likely be given contracts.  GM Max McGillicutty comes out on stage and says that he was impressed with Scarlett Phoenix’s performance but really wants to see her in action again to get a better grasp on her talent.  Sarona Reiher makes her way out to the stage and says that the “no talent little wannabe” got lucky and if she had had more time, she would have shown Scarlett who the “boss” really is.  Max asks her if she is asking for a rematch and she exclaims “Yes”.  Max tells her to go to the ring and the rematch between the two can start now.  As Sarona makes her way down to the ring, out comes Southern Belle and she says that she wants another look at these two.  She goes to sit at commentary.  Scarlett Phoenix comes out and she get a huge pop from the crowd.  She high-fives with the fans and just as she enters the ring, Sarona attacks her.  The bell is immediately rung.

For 14 minutes, Sarona tried to embarrass Scarlett and but the newest member of the roster held her own.  It wasn’t until Sarona went for a superfly splash, launched herself from the top turnbuckle and at the last minute Scarlett got her knees up did the tide of the match turn.  Scarlett dropped Sarona with a couple of dropkicks.  She hit the ropes and then caught Sarona with a flying body press.  In one fell swoop, she connected and immediately hooked the leg.  She landed in the middle of the ring and the ref was in the perfect spot to count the 1-2-3.  Scarlett Phoenix gets the win in 18 minutes.  Southern Belle, still at commentary, stands up and applauds her.  Scarlett leaves the ring.   Belle goes to leave but Sarona nudges her out of the way.  She turns and starts to poke Belle in the chest.   Belle pushes her away but Sarona swings and misses and Belle drops her with the Southern Swing.  She gets a pop from the crowd and she makes her way backstage.  Sarona recovers and she is more pissed than ever.

Reporter Clarkus Kentus is backstage with ‘The Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo and his manager MJ.  Clarkus asks if Gumbo is proud of what he did in possibly ending the career of Magnum Kone.  MJ interjects and says Rad did what he needed to in order to secure the win.  If Magnum is not man enough to take such a beating, maybe he needs to call it quits and go home to mommy.  Rad looks at the camera and says “Maybe all da King's horses an' all da King's men...can try an' put Magnum Kone back together again, eh mon ami?" Both men laugh and walk off.

It’s time for our next match.  First, accompanied by manager Ant Graham, out comes Baron von Blood.  He, of course, is booed.  He gets into the ring and yells back at the fans.  His opponent, Jesse California comes out next.  He gets a pop from the crowd.   Ant orders the Baron to attack Jesse and he does before he ever gets to the ring.  Eventually, both men get in the ring and the match officially begins.  Jesse fought back and really took the match to the Baron.  Ant didn’t like that.  He interfered a few times trying to get one over on Jesse but it didn’t really work.  All of a sudden, in from the crowd runs Ivan Dragovich.  Ivan hits Ant Graham with a jumping side kick and then hurls him into to the ring where he hits the ref.  Ivan jumped back over the guardrail to avoid being seen by the ref.  The ref, thinking Ant was trying to do something shady immediately disqualified Baron because of outside interference and awarded the match to Jesse.  Ant and the Baron tried to complain but it did no good.  (12 min)

A car pulls up in the parking lot and exiting are the 6 Man champs – the Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman.  It looks like they are in action tonight.  They head in and go straight to Max’s office.

We go back to the ring for our next match.   Muscles Thorpe is already in the ring.  His opponent is the HUGE Superquake Ferguson.  Thorpe tried to run away but eventually manned up and stood in the ring looking at the man who towered at least a foot over him.  Thorpe went on the offensive and used his speed to keep out of the giant’s reach.  He dazzled the giant with lefts and rights and got him off his feet a few times after hitting the E-Train.  Superquake then backed himself into the corner and Muscles Thorpe charged at him and hit a running splash.  Superquake fell into the ring and Thorpe hooked the leg (and tights) and got the 1-2-3.  Muscles Thorpe gets the win in this encounter.  (13 min)

Back in Max’s office, the 6 man champs say they are here to defend their trophy tonight.  Max tells them they don’t have to defend the trophy as often as they do.  Biceps says that they don’t hide behind rules and regulations and that they are defending champions.  Max acknowledges that they are.  Starbuck asks who they are facing tonight and Max tells him it’s the team of Chic Monroe, Billy Robbins and Wendell Hammerschmidt.  Buzz says “cake walk” and the three of them leave Max’s office.

Southern Belle makes her way back out to scout the next match.  From the Queen’s Court, out comes Lady Hermann.  She makes her way to the ring and glares at Belle sitting at commentary.  Her opponent Missy Chick makes her way out to the ring.  Lady Hermann pays little attention to her opponent and continues to jaw jack with Belle.  The bell rings and her Ladyship turns and hits a headscissors facebuster.  She then turns her attention back to Belle.  Missy recovers and uses the distraction to lock in a scissored armbar.  Lady Hermann, caught completely offguard, taps out.  Missy gets a very quick win and she leaves the ring immediately while Lady Hermann tries to complain in the ring.  Lady Hermann walks back looking like she’s ready to explode.  Belle leaves shortly thereafter.  (1 min)

Larry Morton is backstage with Ivan Dragovich and he comments on the 5^th Column and their sleezeball of a manager Ant Graham and how he will make them pay.  “I vill break ech and every von of you.”

We go back to the ring for a challenge for placement in the tag team top 10.  Challenging for the spot is the new team of P&L:  Phat Sol and Lucas Johnston.   They are accompanied by their manager the Ambassador.  They are challenging Leiton & Niven Snake for their spot.  The Snake family were owning the team of P&L much to this dismay of the Ambassador.  Things began looking very bleak for his team so right after Leiton hit Phat Sol with the Curb Stomp, the Ambassador immediately pushed the ref resulting in a disqualification.  The Snake duo retain their spot but they appear ‘put out’ with this kind of a win.  The Ambassador draws his team together and after admonishing them, they all leave.  (9 min)

MJ is backstage with the World Tag Team Champs the Smashers and he says that the teams so far being fed to the Smashers are practically worthless.  He says his team needs new challenges or they will get bored very quick.  The Smashers say they are going to start stirring up trouble and everyone better watch out.

We’re back to the ring for our next match and Jerry Saunders makes his way out first.  He is then followed by Ivan Dragovich who starts to get a warmer reaction from the fans.  Ivan was vicious and Saunders never really got a chance to get any offense started.  Ivan destroyed Jerry and after hanging on for 18 minutes, finally succumbed to the Accolade Clutch but not by submission but by pinfall.  Ivan got his arm raised just as the 5^th Column, led by Ant Graham, ran down and attacked Ivan.  Baron von Blood, Oswald Zimmerman and Karl Braun triple teamed Ivan with no one coming to his rescue.  Finally, a team no one really expected … The Desperados (El Chango and Leon Teremoto) ran down and cleared the ring.  They do not trust Ivan because of his previous allegiance so once they make sure the 5^th Column has left, they help him up and then leave.  (18 min for the match; 25 for the segment)

Backstage, MJ is meeting with someone who we can’t see as he’s hiding in the shadows.  MJ says that he wants to put a bounty on a particular individual and asks if he is up to the task.  The mystery person asks “how much?” and MJ replies “You will be well compensated if you do this.  What do you say?”  The mystery person extends his hand and says “Yes, I’ll take it.”  MJ laughs as the segment comes to an end.

It is time for the main event.   First, the challengers come out.  Superstar Chic Monroe come out first and he is followed by Wendell Hammerschmidt and finally Billy Robbins.  Next, the 6 man tag team champs – the Steel Curtain (Buzz and Starbuck Steel) and Biceps Bannerman come out to the biggest pop of the night.   The match begins almost immediately with the challengers stepping up and really taking the match to the champs.  After triple teaming Starbuck for 3 rounds, he finally made the hot tag to Biceps Bannerman who also got triple teamed.  Buzz Steel finally makes in into the ring but over 15 minutes have passed.  He begins to clean house but then the Smashers come out led by MJ.  The champs stare at them as they make their way to the ring.   Biceps Bannerman is beaten up on the outside by Chic and Billy.  Billy gets back in the ring.  The Smashers laugh at the champs and just then, our mystery person sneaks in from the crowd.  Wait, that is Handsome Hernandez and he is sizing up Biceps but then turns and drops Chic.  Buzz then hurls Billy out of the ring and Hernandez hits Billy with a double arm kneebreaker.  Billy is unable to make it back into the ring and ends up getting counted out.   The Steel Curtain and Biceps Bannerman win this one on a count out.  The Smashers then attack Wendell and Chic some more all the while leaving the champs alone.  I wonder what is up with that.

That’s it for now.  Stay tuned for more action.

HCW Wrestling Newsletter 2016 #502 – Labor Day super show

Hello fans and welcome back to our newsletter.  Today’s show is a Super Show that will culminate with our Main Event being a Hell in a Cell between ‘the King of Cones’ Magnum Kone and ‘The Ragin Cajun’ Rad Gumbo.  Our GM Max McGillicutty has stated that 3 local talents will get a shot at a contract within the HCW tonight.  He says that he has his eye on additional talents but was not able to come to an agreement before today’s show.   Max kicks off the show after the pyro goes off and says that the new talent got to pick names out of a bowl and that is who they are wrestling tonight.  He introduces the first person.  His name is ScooterJ and right off the bat, he flips the fans off so it’s safe to say he is not a good guy.  He gets down to the ring and starts mouthing off with the fans at ringside.  Man, he really is not making friends.  He gets in the ring and takes the mic from the ring announcer.  “Listen, I’m not here to make friends…I’m here because I want to be a champion.  I don’t need you stupid fans cheering for me.  My talent will speak for itself.  So sit your fat, out of shape selves down and watch pure awesomeness.”  He gives the mic back to the ring announcer and yells at the fans a bit more.  His opponent comes out…well, I guess he got the easiest match tonight…it’s Turnip!  Turnip tries to tell Max that he shouldn’t be wrestling but Max tells him to go to the ring.  A ‘Turnip’ chant starts and that ticks off ScooterJ.  Turnip gets in the ring and is immediately attacked by ScooterJ.  He chokes Turnip on the ropes but manages to hit a suplex after struggling a bit.  ScooterJ then chopped Turnip in the throat and then eye raked him a few times.  ScooterJ bodyslams Turnip who then tries to plead for the beating to stop but that just infuriated ScooterJ all the more.  He slapped him across the face and with one final eye gouge, made the cover (with him arm over Turnip’s face) and got the 1-2-3.  ScooterJ is victorious in his first match.  He flips the fans off again before leaving.  Turnip has to be helped up and receives applause from the crowd.  (8 min)

Max stands by and watches as ScooterJ and (eventually) Turnip leave.  He then says he wants to introduce our next new person.  He is called Pete Punsher but calls himself the PUN-isher.  Pete makes his way to the ring and introduces himself as a comedian who, after trying his hand at stand up (and failing miserably), he wanted to give wrestling a try but says this new crowd will love him after they get a whiff of his (verbal) skills.  He asks for a mic.

“You are going to love this.  Tonight, you are treated to some of the best PUNS out there.  Stand by to be amazed.

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”  The crowd groans.  “Ok, what about this one:”

“Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”  The crowd groans even louder.  “COME ON…Ok, here is a really good one.”

“Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!”  By now, the fans realized this guy SUCKS at comedy and they let him know it by throwing crap at him in the ring.  Pete gets mad.  “You wouldn’t know a good pun if it bit you on the ass.”  Before Pete can continue, his opponent comes out.  It is one half of the Ryzing Storm – Terra Ryzing.  Pete’s eyes go all wide and he (over exaggerates a gulp) and bails from the ring once Terra gets in it.  The fans don’t like Terra either but they seem to tolerate him more than the PUN-isher.  I guess we expected either too much out of Terra or Pete is just that good but the PUN-isher beat the holy hell out of Terra.  It was almost a massacre.  Terra maybe got in 6 or 7 moves.  That was it.  When Pete was done, he hit Terra with the PUN-ctuation and got the 1-2-3.  Pete the PUN-isher is victorious in his first outing.  (17 min).  Pete leaves as the fans throw stuff at him.  Max just shakes his head in disbelief. 

We cut backstage where El Gato Negro issues a challenge to Ravishing Raquel for her money in the bank contract.  Raquel questions why El Gato wants “some of this” but El Gato says she’s not done with the Duchess and wants…no, needs this match.  Raquel says she will humor her and give her a match.

Southern Belle makes her way out to the ring and says tonight, she will be scouting not 1, not 2 but 3 matches to see who she wants to potentially manage.  She goes to sit at ringside and awaits the nexst match. 

Max comes back out and introduces the 3^rd person wanting to give wrestling a shot.  He introduces Scarlett Phoenix.  Scarlett makes her way out (she’s a red head) dressed in black (kinda like Marvel’s Black Widow).  She gets cheered as she makes her way to the ring.  As she enters the ring, Sarona Reiher makes her way out and questions why this ‘nobody’ thinks she can just waltz in and get a contract when the rest of them had to earn it the hard way.  When Scarlett tries to respond, Sarona attacks her.  I guess this is Scarlett’s opponent for the match.  Sarona tried to cheat multiple times along the way but Scarlett never gave up.  In fact, she went toe to toe with her for the entire 20 minute match.  This was about as even as it can get (from a points perspective) and Sarona was pissed when she could not score the pin in time.  She attacked Scarlett again and this time, she got dumped from the ring by Scarlett.  Sarona screamed that this was not over and Scarlett would be sorry.   Scarlett waved to the fans and was cheered as she made her way to the back.  (20 min)

Backstage, Leiton and Niven Snake approach the Ambassador and say that they want a rematch against Phat Sol and ‘Red Hot’ Lucas Johnston.  The Ambassador quickly draws up a contract but Leiton and Niven both scoff at it.  P&L walk over and after some name calling, the Snake brothers agreed.  The match will be held at the next show.  The Ambassador says that the team of Phat and Lucas will now be known as P&L.

We go back to the ring for our next Ladies match.  First, out comes ½ of the HCW twins Felicia Cummings.  She gets in the ring and then her opponent, member of the Queen’s Court, the British Crippler makes her way down.  Belle seems to be impressed with the Crippler and starts to jot notes down.  This one too ended up going to a 20 minute draw and as the cameraman zooms in on Belle’s notes, we see that she wrote down a lot more for the British Crippler than she did for Felicia.  I guess we know who is NOT on the short list.  (20 min).  Belle packs up her stuff and she’ll be back out later for the match between Raquel and El Gato Negro.

Drew the Canadian Love Machine is backstage and he comments to Larry Morton that he has one of the best records in all of HCW and it’s astonishing that he is not wearing gold.  Drew states that after he beats Oswald Zimmerman (5^th Column member), he will be issuing a challenge for a belt.  Larry asks which one but Drew doesn’t answer.

We go back to the ring for the next match.  First, Desperado member Leon Teremoto comes out and says that his tag team partner El Chango wanted the night off so he gets to wrestle in singles competition.  He tells whoever in the back to send out his opponent.  Almost right on cue, out comes the Crocodile Hunter and he is dressed in an outfit with a crocodile head on it and is wearing makeup that looks like his head in surrounded by teeth.   Croc hits the ring and Leon goes right after him.  Leon just smothered Croc hitting him so hard his teeth rattled.  Croc got tossed out of the ring early and Leon followed him out and threw him into the steel steps hard.  He dragged Croc back into the ring and continued to overwhelm him.  Leon picked Croc up and powerbombed Croc first on the top turnbuckle then in the ring.  He made the cover and got the 1-2-3 pretty easy.  Leon looked strong in his singles outing.  (8 min)

Magnum Kone is backstage and he says he is tired of Rad Gumbo constantly interfering in his matches and hopes that after tonight’s Hell in a Cell, things will finally be put to rest, and he can get back on with his life.

We head back to the ring where Oswald Zimmerman and his manager Ant Graham are pacing while waiting for their opponent to come out.  Drew pops through the curtain and the crowd explodes.  Drew has gotten the largest pops of the night.  The fans just LOVE this guy.  Ant and Oswald try to get the fans to quiet down but that only riles them up all the more.  This match was pretty even mostly because Ant kept interfering.  Finally, the ref caught him and threatened to send him from the ring.  Ant begged and promised not to do it anymore.  Drew ended up behind him and popped him once in the jaw.  Ant went down like a ton of bricks.  Drew got back in the ring and used a handstand headscissors to send Oswald crashing into the corner.  Drew then rolled him up and got the 1-2-3.  Drew celebrates his win but it is cut short when the Savior shows up on the stage.  He acts like he’s going to interfere but then walks off.  Drew then says he is issuing a challenge to Dude USA Mick Rude for the US title.  (14 min)

Southern Belle makes her way back out and sits at commentary for the 3^rd and final women’s match of the evening.  First, El Gato Negro comes out and she gets a good pop from the crowd.  Next, Ravishing Raquel comes out and is accompanied by Master Bull but he does not go with her to ringside.  He tells her something and then leaves.  She makes her way to the ring.  The two go at it as soon as the bell rings and for the first 10 minutes, it looked like El Gato Negro was going to win but then the Ladies Champion the Duchess came out and it threw El Gato off her game.  Raquel capitalized and just a few short minutes later, connected with the Simply Ravishing and made the cover, hooking the leg for the 1-2-3.  Ravishing Raquel retains her contract. The Duchess enters the ring after El Gato left and she and Raquel have a stare down but it’s the champ who actually breaks eye contact first and backs off.  (15 min)

Rad Gumbo with his manager MJ are backstage.  MJ says that Magnum Kone is a bad joke that needs to be put away for good.  Rad says “Mon Ami, you be messin’ with da wrong Cajun.  Tonight, your sad little career is over.”

As the Hell in a Cell is being lowered over the ring, Max comes out to thank the fans for attending and reminds them that after next Sunday (9/11) we will go back to twice a week cards. 

The Cell has been secured so we are ready for our main event.   Rad Gumbo w/ his manager MJ comes out first.  He enters the unforgiving structure.  The ref tells MJ he is not allowed inside the structure.  Magnum Kone comes out next accompanied by Haagen and Daas and they distribute ice cream to the fans at ringside.  Gumbo taunts Magnum from inside the cell.  Magnum makes his way into the cell and the match is underway.  

===== In the 1st minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both men collide into the ref.  Ref goes down and is out for 5 rounds.

Magnum Kone pulls Rad out of the cell and attempts to execute a BATTLE ON TOP OF CELL....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo neutralizes BATTLE ON TOP OF CELL and both men return to the cell.

Referee is incapacitated for 5 more rounds.

===== In the 2nd minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

Magnum Kone executes a THE POPSICLE (PILEDRIVER)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Referee is incapacitated for 4 more rounds.

===== In the 3rd minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

Magnum Kone executes a KING KONE (HEADLOCK)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a NEW ORLEANS CRAB....

Referee is incapacitated for 3 more rounds.

===== In the 4th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Magnum Kone executes a ICE CREAM SANDWICH (SPLASH)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against ICE CREAM SANDWICH (SPLASH) but is unsuccessful.

Magnum tries to go for the pin but the ref is still out.

Referee is incapacitated for 2 more rounds.

===== In the 5th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

Magnum Kone absorbs the punishment.

Referee is incapacitated for 1 more rounds.

===== In the 6th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Magnum Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo attempts to defend against THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP) but is unsuccessful.

Referee is no longer incapacitated.

===== In the 7th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Magnum Kone executes a THE POPSICLE (PILEDRIVER)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a NEW ORLEANS CRAB....

===== In the 8th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a NEW ORLEANS CRAB....

Magnum Kone reverses NEW ORLEANS CRAB!

Magnum Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 9th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a RAM HEAD INTO RING STEPS-BANG!....

Magnum Kone reverses RAM HEAD INTO RING STEPS-BANG!!

Magnum Kone executes a THE DRUMSTICK (ARMBAR)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 10th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a VOOODOO DRIVER....

Magnum Kone absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 11th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC/TT

Magnum Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a IRISH WHIP INTO CELL WALL AND

ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo straps in the IRISH WHIP INTO CELL WALL AND

ONION TWIST (MUTA LOCK).

Magnum Kone does not submit!

===== In the 12th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Magnum Kone executes a THE PUSH POP (LEGSWEEP)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 13th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a WHERE Y'AT?  (QUICK JABS)....

Magnum Kone attempts to defend against WHERE Y'AT?  (QUICK JABS) but is unsuccessful.

===== In the 14th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Magnum Kone executes a ICE CREAM SANDWICH (SPLASH)....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Magnum Kone scores 9 points.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo scores 9 points.

Magnum Kone is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo kicks out of the pin!

Magnum Kone gets 7 points for the pin attempt.

===== In the 15th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Magnum Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a FRENCH QUARTER NELSON (REST HOLD)....

===== In the 16th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a BURBON STREET BLUES....

Magnum Kone absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 17th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled OC/TT

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Magnum Kone executes a SCOOP SLAM....

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo absorbs the punishment.

===== In the 18th minute of the match: =====

Magnum Kone rolled DC

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled DC

Both Men in rolled DC

Magnum Kone rolled OC.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo rolled OC.

Magnum Kone executes a KICK FOE OFF RING APRON INTO CELL WALL....The wall separates from the rest of the structure.  Rad Gumbo climbs the structure to try to get away.  Magnum follows him up.  MJ then (miraculously) hurls a chair to the top of the cage.  Just as Magnum makes it over the top, Rad blasts him with the chair.  Then….

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo executes a CHOKESLAM THROUGH CELL ROOF - INJURE FOE....HOLY CRAP!!!

Magnum Kone falls to the mat below.  He looks to be hurt.  Rad makes his way back down and enters the cage where the wall was separated.

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo is attempting a pin!!!

1...2...3

Magnum Kone was pinned by "The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo!!!

"The Ragin Cajun" Rad Gumbo wins with a CHOKESLAM THROUGH CELL ROOF - INJURE FOE over Magnum Kone!!!

"The Ragin Cajun” Rad Gumbo stands over the prone body of Magnum Kone.  Haagen and Daas tried to come to their boss’ aid but Gumbo dispatched them.   The ref crosses his arms in an X.  Medics make it into the ring to get Magnum Kone on a stretcher.  They quickly get him out of there.  Rad Gumbo celebrates in the ring with MJ and throws empty popsicle sticks at Magnum as the show comes to an end.

Thanks for reading.  We will be back in a week and then back to our normal twice weekly schedule.  Stay tuned.  Happy Labor Day folks.