Hello
fans and welcome back to our newsletter.
The HCW is on the move once again and this time are coming to you live
from Yuma, AZ. GM Max McGillicutty comes
out and thanks the fans in Yuma for supporting them. He is then interrupted by Pete the PUN-isher
who says he needs to address the crowd.
He takes a mic and says that the fans in Yuma are much more accepting
than the idiots in Phoenix and THEY will totally get his puns. He starts off…
“Want to know why they are doing away with
round bales of hay? It’s because the
cows aren’t getting square meals.” The
fans boo. “Ok, I agree that wasn’t great
but here’s another one.”
“I'd
tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.” The fans groan and Pete is becoming more
frustrated. “Come on…Ok, here is one
that will knock your socks off.”
“What
do you call a fish with no eyes? A F…sh. Get it?
No I..no eye…?” Groaning ensues
and now Pete is pissed. “Come on you
idiots! This is funny stuff!” The fans practically riot. They begin throwing anything not secured down
towards Pete in the ring. He realized he
may have gone too far. Pete runs from
the ring and hightails it to the back zipping past Max in fear of his life. The fans stop as soon as he’s gone. Max addresses the fans and says that they DO
get comedy and what we just heard was NOT.
Max says that since Pete interrupted him, he will be in a match later
with a guy who has an attitude problem …Angry Jack Lawson. The fans cheer.
Max
leaves and after pyro has finished going off, our first match kicks off with 6
man action. The Smashers w/MJ come out
first and they are joined by Handsome Hernandez. The trio head to the ring (minus MJ). Their opponents come out and it is the team
of Superstar Chic Monroe, Billy Robbins and Wendell Hammerschmidt. The Smashers and Hernandez immediately go on
the offensive with Hernandez squaring off first against Robbins. Robbins dropkicked Hernandez out of the ring
and then caught both Smashers with the Aries 450. The fans chant HOLY SH*T and that is
basically how the match continued. Chic
and Billy would double team Hernandez leaving the tag champs stuck on the
outside. Finally, Smasher #2 got fed up
and hit Wendell with a steel chair resulting in a DQ. Robbins and Chic then quickly disposed the
Smashers from the ring and the 3 stood tall while the Smashers left on their
own separate from Hernandez. (8 min)
Backstage,
Outback Oscar is with reporter Larry Morton.
Oscar says that his match against the Stache didn’t go as planned as he
is obviously not standing here with the belt.
Oscar says that he underestimated the Stache and that was the reason for
his loss. He says that he still owns one
of the best win/loss records in the HCW and it will only be a matter of time
when he gets another shot. When that
happens, he will be better prepared.
There
is a bit of a commotion at the start of our next match. Security guards are trying to get Pete the
PUN-isher to go to the ring but he claims his life is in danger. Max comes out again and pleads with the fans
to NOT throw anything at him until the match is over. Pete starts to make his way down only to turn
back, rush around security and go backstage.
Seconds later, Angry Jack Lawson has a hold of Pete and drags him down
to the ring and throws him in. Pete
slides right out and grabs a chair. He
hits Jack with the chair and then tries to escape only to have red flames go
off on the ring posts. Pete is momentarily distracted and that is when Jack
sits up and then goes right after Pete.
The fight is a short lived one as Jack catches Pete and plants him in
the middle of the ring with a chokeslam.
He takes the chair and then bodyslams Pete on it. The ref called for the bell but Max, still on
stage, said no and changed it to a no-DQ match.
Jack put his foot on top of Pete and the ref counted 1-2-3. Angry Jack gets the win and after looking
with disgust at Pete, he leaves. (13
min)
Backstage,
Phat Sol is talking smack about how good he really is and says he can take on
anyone. Biceps Bannerman walks over and
says that Phat talks a lot for such a small guy. Biceps will do his talking in the ring. Phat looks unhappy.
We
head back to the ring for our next match.
The Hollywood Star comes out first to a mixed reaction. Next, Muscles Thorpe makes his way down. Thorpe elicits laughter from the crowd as he
runs around the ring wearing his rainbow colored bull horns on his head. The Star gets frustrated waiting and attacks
Thorpe and pulls him into the ring.
After just a couple of minutes, Thorpe turns up the heat and starts to
take the Star apart. A Curb stomp,
followed by a kick to the gut and an overhead suplex from Thorpe signal the end. He makes the cover and gets the easy
1-2-3. Muscles Thorpe wins this
one. (11 min)
Backstage,
El Gato Negro says she has not been happy with how things are going for her and
even though life outside the ring is great, what transpires within the squared
circle has been a disappointment. She
says she is ready to take on new challenges and will work back up to becoming a
top contender for the Ladies title.
We
head to the ring as the next match begins.
First, out comes Biceps Bannerman.
He gets a big pop from the crowd.
Next, accompanied by the Ambassador and his tag team partner Lucas
Johnston, it’s Phat Sol. The Ambassador
gives Phat some advice and the match starts off. Phat immediately stuns Biceps with a jaw
jacker and then with the Ambassadors’ help (aka cheating), he really owned the
match. Biceps was at a huge disadvantage
with both Lucas and the Ambassador lurking around the ring. Every punch, kick and clothesline Phat
connected with increased his confidence.
12 minutes in, Biceps gets to his breaking point and nails the
Ambassador with a powerslam on the outside of the ring. He’s out!!!
Lucas tends to his manager but that didn’t stop Phat. In fact, he got furious. After wiggling out of the Biceps Crunch
(bearhug), Phat blasted Biceps with a bionic elbow. There must have been something in the elbow
pad as Biceps was disoriented. Phat hits
the ropes and nails a forearm smash. He
makes the cover and (with Lucas holding down Biceps’ leg), gets the 1-2-3. Phat Sol wins this one in questionable
fashion. Phat and Lucas leave and help
the Ambassador to the back. (14 min)
Manager
Ant Graham is backstage with Dr. Red Fang.
Fang says that the Fiend has been ducking him and yells that he still
has not gotten his rematch. Graham
comments that maybe Fang needs to start taking out the trash that occupy the
Hardcore title top 10 so that the Fiend will have no other reason to hide from
this man (or is he a ‘Bot?) Fang says he
is challenging Mr. Wrestling 5 for his spot tonight.
Southern
Belle makes her way down to commentary to scout out this match. First, Missy Chick comes out to a nice pop
from the fans. She is then followed out
by El Gato Negro who also receives a nice ovation from the crowd. The two immediately lock up and a furious
battle ensues. Missy connects with a
Missy-plex and gets a 2 count right off the bat. The two then battle it out for the next few
minutes. El Gato works on weakening the
legs of Missy. Finally, El Gato locks in
the Wall-O-Cato (tarantula) and Missy taps out.
El Gato wins this one pretty quick and Southern Belle is very impressed
as she stands and applauds El Gato. (5
min)
Drew,
the Canadian Love Machine says that he is finally ready to reclaim a title (he
never lost the defunct CSWA US title) and that begins tonight when he gets Dude
USA in the ring. Drew states that it’s
his time and nothing will prevent him from accomplishing his goal.
Manager
Ant Graham comes out first and then introduces Dr. Red Fang. Fang and Graham head to the ring. Mr. Wrestling #5 comes out next and he is in
no mood to mess around. Fang attacks him
before the bell and we have ourselves a slobberknocker. 3 minutes in, Graham smacks MW5 with his
walking cane and Fang goes for the pin but only gets a 2 count. MW5 starts to battle back but Graham jumps on
the ring to distract him. Fang sneaks
up from behind and nails 5 with a dropkick that sends him flying out of the
ring and crashes into the ringside barrier.
Fang follows him out and nails a Vampire Lunge on the outside of the
ring. Fang crawls back into the ring
beating the 10 count. Fang gets the win
and takes Mr. Wrestling 5’s spot in the Hardcore title lineup. As Ant Graham is escorting his protégé to the
back, Fang exclaims “Vampire Lunges for EVERYONE!” (4 ½ min)
Once
again, we head backstage where ‘The Elitist’ Reid Rothchild is talking to his
manager Master Bull. Reid asks why Bull
wasn’t there for him. Bull says he had
to tend to his step son. Reid asked what
he did. Bull says they…watched Spongebob
Squarepants. Bull says he can’t be in
Reid’s corner his next encounter with ScooterJ because if Reid wins, it will appear
that it was only because Bull provided support.
Bull says (in his best Obi-Wan voice that) Reid must face ScooterJ
again. He cannot interfere. Reid says he will show that upstart the
meaning of the word respect.
It’s
time for our main event. First, Drew,
the Canadian Love Machine comes out to the largest pop of the night. Once he gets into the ring, the music changes
and out comes the US Champion ‘Dude USA’ Mick Rude. The fans, seem to be behind both men. The champ controlled the match for about 3
minutes and then Drew kicked it into high gear.
The longer the match went on, the better Drew looked and the more
desperate Mick Rude became. By the time
we got 15 minutes into the match, Drew owned this. We take you to the final moments of the
match.
===== In the 15th
minute of the match: =====
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
rolled DC
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine rolled OC.
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine executes a CORKSCREW PESCADO....
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
absorbs the punishment.
Drew the Canadian
Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!
1...
Dude U.S.A. (Mick
Rude) kicks out of the pin!
===== In the 16th
minute of the match: =====
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
rolled OC.
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine rolled OC.
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
executes a CLOTHESLINE....
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine executes a HANDSTAND HEADSCISSORS....
===== In the 17th
minute of the match: =====
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
rolled DC
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine rolled DC
Both Men in rolled DC
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
rolled OC/TT
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine rolled DC
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
executes a DUDE AWAKENING....
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine attempts to defend against DUDE AWAKENING but is unsuccessful.
===== In the 18th
minute of the match: =====
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
rolled DC
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine rolled DC
Both Men in rolled DC
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
rolled OC.
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine rolled DC
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
executes a SINGLE LEG TAKEDOWN....
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine absorbs the punishment.
===== In the 19th
minute of the match: =====
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
rolled DC
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine rolled OC.
Drew the Canadian Love
Machine executes a LA CASITA....
Dude U.S.A. (Mick Rude)
absorbs the punishment.
Drew the Canadian
Love Machine is attempting a pin!!!
1...2...3
Dude U.S.A. (Mick
Rude) was pinned by Drew the Canadian Love Machine!!!
Drew the Canadian Love Machine wins with a LA CASITA over Dude
U.S.A. (Mick Rude) and becomes the NEW US CHAMPION!!!
Drew
falls to his knees as the ref hands him the belt. Balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling
as Drew celebrates in the ring. The show
comes to an end with Drew perched on the second turnbuckle taking in the cheer
from the fans. However, after the camera
stopped rolling, a figure ran in from the crowd and…hang on…that’s the
Savior. The Savior grabs Drew from his
perch and POWERBOMBS in in the middle of the ring. The Savior then picks up Drew and nails a
package DDT. Drew is out. The Savior stands over Drew and the fans show
their hatred for this guy and he just soaks it in.
That’s
all we have for now. Stay tuned as I’m
sure Drew will have words for his former tag team partner.
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